amazing chicken

I wish Star Trek had more prank based sub plots like House MD did.

I wanna see Bones and Scotty see how long they can keep a chicken each on the Enterprise before Spock finds out.

Chekov stealing Sulu’s fave plant and sending him cliché ransom notes. Sulu steals Chekov’s secret vodka collection in retaliation.

Bones starts eating healthy so that Jim stops stealing chips off his plate.

Uhura, Chapel and Rand have a competition to see who can steal Jim’s underpants. Somehow, Spock wins.

Bones keeps sending different masseuses to the Bridge. Everyone is v happy except for Spock, who doesn’t need to calm down, Doctor, cease this foolishness.

Chapel keeps sending Bones pages w increasingly impossible scenarios, he turns up each time and she hands him a pile of paperwork. So… no radioactive killer spiders attacking?

Jim and Bones spend ages trying to surprise Spock, but his Vulcan superiority wins out. They throw water ballons at him, round the corner w water guns, turn the lights off, a whole bunch of classic stuff.

KFC History:

At age 5 his Father died.
At age 16 he quit school.
At age 17 he had already lost four jobs.
At age 18 he got married.
Between ages 18 and 22, he was a railroad conductor and failed.
He joined the army and washed out there.
He applied for law school he was rejected.
He became an insurance sales man and failed again.
At age 19 he became a father.
At age 20 his wife left him and took their baby daughter.
He became a cook and dishwasher in a small cafe.
He failed in an attempt to kidnap his own daughter, and eventually he convinced his wife to return home.
At age 65 he retired.
On the 1st day of retirement he received a cheque from the Government for $105.
He felt that the Government was saying that he couldn’t provide for himself.
He decided to commit suicide, it wasn’t worth living anymore; he had failed so much.
He sat under a tree writing his will, but instead, he wrote what he would have accomplished with his life. He realised there was much more that he hadn’t done. There was one thing he could do better than anyone he knew. And that was how to cook.
So he borrowed $87 against his cheque and bought and fried up some chicken using his recipe, and went door to door to sell them to his neighbours in Kentucky.
Remember at age 65 he was ready to commit suicide.
But at age 88 Colonel Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) Empire was a billionaire.
Moral of the story: Attitude. It’s never too late to start all over.
MOST IMPORTANLY, IT’S ALL ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE. NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS.
You have what it takes to be successful. Go for it and make a difference. No guts no glory. It’s never too old to dream.

Reblog this to inspire others

Guys THIS SHIT WAS AMAZING.

Homemade chicken nuggets and instead of breadcrumbs I used a mixture of almond flour and grated parmesan. Then I pan fried them in a little bit of olive oil.

Hooolyyy shitttt

Meals like this make me love my low carb diet so much.

I also made a dipping sauce out of mayo, ketchup, onion powder, garlic powder, and extra black pepper.

I’m so satisfied. I ate the whole damn thing.

Adorable things we've learned from Paris' "Rolling Stone" interview

1) Michael teased her about a crush she had on a girl when she was young
2) I repeat, Michael accepted his daughter and her sexuality from the get go.
3) He frequently reminded her to be proud of her race and her blackness
4) Michael was a pretty strict parent (which we already knew but STILLL)
5) Prince and Paris know that Michael is and will always be their biological father
6) People tell Paris she’s so much like her dad it’s frightening
7) Paris has the same “weakness” as Michael- letting emotions cloud your judgement (according to Prince)
8) Prince and Paris believe their father was completely innocent
9) Michael used to cry to the kids at night because of how cruel the world was to him
10) While rehearsing for “THIS IS IT” Michael was so tired that Paris would encourage him to take a nap with her
11) Paris believes Michael was murdered
12) It took her until she was 10 to figure out that Michael couldn’t have a baby and so she had to have a mum
13) When she asked Michael who her mother was, Michael simply said “Debbie” (Goddamit Michael! How is she supposed to know who that is?!)
14) Paris was on the same antidepressants as Michael at one point
15) Paris explained that losing Michael was the worst thing possible so anything bad that has happened since has been nothing in comparison
16) She shrugged off just randomly finding a platinum album in the attic (I wish!)
17) Michael introduced her to tons of music, including classical and rap
18) Sometimes Michael would come into their home school lessons and when he did the kids knew they were done with school for the day
19) Michael read to them at night
20) When she was younger Paris used to think that all she ever needed was her dad and Disney channel
21) Paris has track marks from drug use, some of which, along with her self harm scars, are covered with tattoos
22) 11 of her 50+ tattooed are dedicated to Michael
23) Michael used to call her “Tinker Bell”
24) It took her years to figure out Michael had a name and wasn’t just called “Daddy” or “Dad”
25) Paris knew Michael loved Lisa Marie because apparently he looks “whipped” in the YANA music video
26) Michael taught her how to cook
27) Michael made amazing fried chicken (KFC?!)
28) Paris is scared for the coral reef
29) Paris only found out who her mom was after Michael died, because she looked it up on the Internet
30) Paris is a sweetheart who deserves the best of this world

shinee hosts a delivery mukbang (eating broadcast)

the spread: yangnyeom (seasoned) chicken with fried dduk (korean rice cakes), fried chicken, jjajangmyun (black bean sauce noodles), extra spicy ddukboki (spicy rice cakes), fried rice, tangsuyuk (sweet and sour pork), soondae (korean blood sausage), jokbal (pig’s feet) 

onew:

  • O YA!!!!!!!!!!!!1!
  • totally his idea 
  • could not sleep the night before bc he was thinking about what they should order and from where and morning needs to come faster 
  • tbh he doesn’t really care that it’s a broadcast just that there’s piles of food in front of him and he’s so happy ^▽^
  • keeps blocking other members’ chopsticks with his own when they venture near the chicken (”pls hyung you are too old to be swordfighting like this” / key: “i s2g you only became like this after they named you the chicken maniac YOU HAVE NO ONE TO IMPRESS HERE”) 
  • it’s darwinism, if you want to eat chicken be faster than onew’s speeding chopsticks of doom 

jonghyun:

  • lots of reactions while eating like gasping or humming 
  • teases the camera by saying things like “doesn’t this look good~ it’s really good too bad you guys can’t taste it” 
  • looks like a chipmunk bc his cheeks get really full as he just shovels food into his mouth 
  • takes forever to chew whatever’s in his mouth so when he talks it’s mostly incoherent 
  • stashed green tea ice cream in the freezer for dessert 

key:

  • mcing the event
  • reading out comments while he’s eating so not eating at a superhuman pace like the others
  • actually chews his food????
  • stabbed minho’s hand with a chopstick bc he was trying to take the last soondae off his plate 
  • makes lettuce wraps with jokbal and feeds the other members 
  • almost had to do the heimlich on taemin bc he was literally inhaling his food 

minho:

  • completely focused on eating the entire time ㅍ_ㅍ 
  • is this a mukbang or a competitive eating contest?? lmk minho??
  • when there’s no more food he’s like ????? who ate it all and blames the other members 
  • well it’s a good thing in the middle of the mukbang he ORDERED MORE FOOD OH YEAH 
  • ddukboki isn’t spicy at all, he feels no pain 
  • it’s fire, he’s fire boi 
  • he does chug a very large glass of water after which does NOT help  

taemin: 

  • plucking and eating all the dduk from the yangnyeom chicken bc honestly it’s the best part (manages to bypass onew’s blockade somehow) 
  • finished two bowls of jjajangmyun like nbd and still calmly eating with no intention of stopping 
  • also pretty much ate all the tangsuyuk by himself (a lot more lowkey about food hoarding than onew is but he’s claimed certain foods as his bc they’re all “subtly” in his corner)
  • smiling v brightly at the camera like he’s not eating his body weight in food 
  • viewers’ comments: woah….. attractive….. terrifying … humanly?? possibly??

ot5:

  • why do they all eat like they’ve never put food in their mouths before 
  • sm wtf
Constraint

Pairing: Jungkook/Jimin
Rated: E
Author: Harlot
Length: 40k

Jungkook is young and he is more acquainted with confusion and poor-decision-making than he’d like to admit. Despite being only 19 years old, he sometimes argues that he’s been through and seen some shit. He is never sure where he’s going to end up and he’s not entirely sure what kind of future is waiting for him. He is often not sure of a lot but he is certain—absolutely certain—that he’s not gay.

Alternatively, a story in which Jungkook meets Park Jimin and doesn’t like him whatsoever. There’s just something about him… there’s just so much about him. Jungkook really can’t stand him. In fact, he can’t stand him so much he can’t quite seem to get him off of his mind.

One of the best fics I’ve ever read (i just read it, already fave). Honestly this is really good and really well written deserves like a million likes. Also, like Jungkook says in the fic: turns out there is a 11 out of 10 cus this fic gets that.

Read on AO3