amanda stern

Amanda Part II - After School Accident

Two weeks had passed since 19 year old Amanda’s accident on her way home. Amanda was glad that most of it happened after she entered her home, but she still felt uneasy about it in general and there was no way to deny it hadn’t affected her daily life. As soon as her bladder sent the first signals of desperation (which happened earlier than before), Amanda became quite nervous and went as early as possible. She also scheduled regular pee breaks, wether she was desperate or not and thought in advance about ‘backup’ toilet locations. So far, there was no second accident, not even a small leak.

Right now, it was Thursday and Amanda, wearing her dark grey school uniform, sat uncomfortably in the middle of the last period of that day, which was math with Mr. Thompson. The day had started and progressed normally with bathroom visits during every break. At the end of her last period however, the teacher had ignored the bell and Amanda was forced to rush directly to the next room and was still a few seconds late.

Of course, Mr. Thompson took this as an occasion to scold her in front of the class. When Amanda took her seat and her embarrassment faded back to normal levels, her attention simultaneously turned towards the fact that she didn’t visit the toilets in the last break. The thought immediately made her feel a bit desperate, wether that was her imagination or real.

Amanda was in quite the dilemma now. On the one hand, she wanted to ask to be excused, but on the other hand, she knew Mr. Thompson. He almost never allowed any toilet break at all. The only exception were his favorite students (and Amanda was far from belonging to this group) and even then only in the middle of class. If a student asked too close to the beginning or the end, she or he was in for a humiliating speech.

Considering the odds, Amanda refrained from asking for a break and used all her willpower to stop worrying. After all, she wasn’t that desperate. Although her bladder twinged slightly, most of it was in her head. Crossing her legs and squeezing them together, Amanda did her best to follow the lesson, but her eyes regularly wandered towards the clock on the wall and she continually calculated the remaining time.

After what felt like an eternity, there were only 5 minutes left. Amanda’s desperation was still manageable, but her attention was no completely focused on the clock. During the lesson, she had to re-cross her legs a few times and sometimes shifted around in her seat or wiggled her foot, but in her opinion, she was not too fidgety.

The minute hand took another step towards Amanda’s freedom. 4 minutes to go. When she took her eyes off the clock, she noticed that something was off. Everyone was looking at her. Had her movement been too obvious? Did she unconsciously hold herself?

“Amanda?” Mr. Thompson addressed her impatiently through the classroom. Amanda flinched in her seat, blushed and realized what happened. Mr. Thompson called her before, but she was too zoned out to notice. In turn, all her classmates looked at her.

Amanda’s heart began to beat faster and her desperation jumped up a notch. Did she just leak into her panties? “Y-yes, Mr. Thompson?”

“Ah, so she’s with us again. Would you be so generous to give us an answer to my question?” Mr. Thompson replied with a stern face. Amanda gulped. “Um… I, uh, I kind of lost the attention, Mr. Thompson. I’m really sorry. Could… could you maybe repeat the question?”  

“Oh, no, *I* am sorry that I bored you so much,” Amanda’s teacher mocked her “I’ll try to make the next lesson more entertaining.” Amanda’s cheeks turned a darker shade of red than before and her bladder started to send out stronger distress signals now.

Before she had a chance to apologize again, Mr. Thompson continued: “I asked you how long it would take until the container overflows, if you fill it with a constant stream of water using the values written on the board.” Every word made Amanda feel more uncomfortable and desperate, but she still tried her best. Unfortunately, she took too long for Mr. Thompson.

“Ok, that’s it. Class is almost over now.” Amanda felt relief. Not much longer until she could get up and run straight to the toilets. But her celebrations were too early, as Mr. Thompson continued before the bell rang.

“I’m afraid there will be consequences. Let’s see… The homework was supposed to be number 1 to 3. But thanks to Amanda’s performance, it will be 1 to 15 for all of you. You can thank her.” As the bell rang, he added “Class dismissed. Amanda, see me.”

Amanda blushed again, felt a tear well up, pursed her lips and stared at her desk until everyone else left. She could still feel all the angry looks that were thrown at her, but she was even more worried about her urge to pee right now. Within just a few minutes, her desperation had become a lot stronger and she was quite restless now, shifting around all the time.

Finally, the classroom was empty except for Amanda and her teacher, who looked at her with expectation. Without a word, Amanda began to stand up. Her bladder didn’t appreciate the movement and Amanda actually had to pause for a short moment to keep control. Using small steps only to keep her thighs pressed together as much as possible, Amanda made her way to the teacher’s desk.

She stood there, head low, hands in front of her skirt, thighs pressed together, and waited for the scolding. Amanda was so desperate now, that she didn’t really listened to Mr. Thompson. There were only a few words coming through: Attention, missing homework, bad grades, consequences, detention. Amanda didn’t care. All she could think about was how bad she had to pee or how much she wanted to jam a hand between her legs until she could reach the bathroom.

Halfway through, Amanda started to shift her legs against each other, but it didn’t really help. Her bladder felt like it would burst any minute now. When a sudden spasm hit her, Amanda sharply inhaled and winced, as she felt a few drops of pee leak into her panties. Mr. Thompson didn’t seem to notice anything.

“Well, that’s all for now. Consider this a last warning.” Amanda answered automatically something apologetic and grateful, already on the way to the ladies’ room in her mind. “Just clean the board, then you can leave.”

Amanda’s heart dropped. She was extremely worried if she could make it that much longer, and chewed on her lower lip, but in the end, she didn’t dare to try her luck. “Yes, Mr. Thompson,” she said sheepishly and grabbed the sponge. The moment she turned on the sink, she felt another spurt dampen her crotch, and she used all her willpower to stop the flow again.

Wanting to be done with it as soon as possible, Amanda didn’t dare to check her skirt for stains and started to wipe the board. It was so unfair, she was so close to her relief. Barely able to stand still and to reach the top border of the board, she noticed that Mr. Thompson was occupied by his paperwork. She quickly moved her other hand between her legs to apply some pressure.

Unfortunately, this only helped for a few seconds. The wet sponge in her hand and every drop that fell down made her bladder cry out again and again. By the time she was done, there was another leak, and a single drop of pee ran down Amanda’s left leg.

Suppressing any sound, Amanda hurriedly put the sponge away and grabbed her bag, dashed towards the door and said a quick goodbye to Mr. Thompson. As soon as she entered the empty hallways, she put a hand between her legs and realized how wet her panties already were.

Panicking, she went straight to the bathrooms, feeling spurts of pee leaking every now and then, soaking her panties even more, and running down her legs. By the time she reached her goal, her knee socks were already stained.

Being almost there, Amanda’s desperation became unbearable. Just the thought of being so close to pulling down her panties, sitting down on the toilet and relieving herself brought Amanda to the brink of losing control.

Only a few more steps. Amanda grabbed the door handle, pushed it down - and bumped into the door. Startled, she tried again, but the door wouldn’t move. Amanda panicked, as she realized that the bathrooms must have been locked already. “No… please, no, no, no! This can’t be…” she muttered, as she pressed down the handle again and again, to no avail.Her mind was racing to find a solution, but there was none. Tears were running down Amanda’s face, as her bladder suddenly spasmed again. She had to double over and immediately knew that she was not able to stop the flow this time. Without caring about anyone seeing her, she quickly put her legs apart and lifted her skirt to minimize the damage. Amanda just stood embarrassed like this for more than a minute before the flow finally receded. She took a moment to inspect the damage. Her white panties were completely soaked, as well as her socks. Her skirt had a few patches, but they were already fading. Quickly coming back to her senses, Amanda knew that she had to do some damage control. She just couldn’t walk home like this. Arriving at her locker, Amanda checked her surroundings and then carefully pulled down her drenched panties and took off her socks. She took her gym bag out of her locker and stuffed the wet clothes inside the shirt that was supposed to go into the laundry at home.Wiping away the last of her tears, Amanda took a deep breath and began her walk of shame.

Join us at the Brooklyn Book Festival this Sunday!

The Brooklyn Book Festival, the biggest and best literary extravaganza in NYC, returns this Sunday. We’ve highlighted some of our favorite events below, including a panel of esteemed 5 Under 35 alums who’ll be on the main stage at 1 pm.

You can join us throughout the day at booth 210, where we’ll be celebrating our National Book Awards Longlists. There you’ll also be able to meet the co-founders of Call Me Ishmael, one of our Innovations in Reading Prize Honorees, who’ll be there with a special surprise!

PLUS, you can pick up t-shirts and limited edition jerseys from The Other NBA, the greatest basketball game in Literary history.


FEATURED: The National Book Foundation Presents 5 Under 35 Alums
1 pm on the Mainstage

Featuring Yelena Akhtiorskaya, Danielle Evans, and Kirstin Valdez Quade. Moderated by Amity Gaige.


Keep reading

The halls are long and my mother’s room is dark and humid. There are photographs of my life with the Alcoholic stacked in piles on the floor. One is propped against a book and I pick it up, stare at the boy with the Jack rocks in his hand. He is wearing a suit that doesn’t fit. Dampness clings to his face like a miracle. Party guests blur in the background like they don’t count. A photograph captures nothing more than a dead moment.
—  from The Long Haul, by Amanda Stern