am i still beautiful

During last night’s quiz on Byron, Keats, and Shelley for British literature, I accidentally mistook “La Belle Dame sans Merci” for “She Walks in Beauty” which I am still beating myself up about. After the quiz, the professor (Harvard-educated and who exclusively wears taupe tops) played a twenty-minute audio recording of Coleridge’s – who believed that it was important for people to have an androgynous mind in order to create art and claimed that Shakespeare had this ‘gift’ – “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.” She paused the audio recording after every part for analysis purposes which inevitably took the entire class meeting to get through so Shelley was bumped into next week’s class meeting. Little by little I am growing to appreciate these Romantic-era writers; Keats especially, whose obsession with death resonates with me. However, I am absolutely enamored by the eighteenth-century’s obsession with order and rationality; and overall anxiety about pruning.

4

Can we take a moment to talk about the importance of this hug?

Because it’s cute, of course, but it’s not just that.

In a way, it’s extremely domestic, and that’s partly what makes it so important.

If you think about it, before we’ve only seen Yuuri and Victor hug during competitions (or at the airport, over which I am still crying because it was so beautiful), and if you really wanted to, you could wave it off as just “acting on impulse” or “on spur of heightened emotions at the moment”.

But that’s not the case here.

They are both in Hasetsu, and they may be before a huge competition, but right now they’re still calm and trying to decide the changes in Yuuri’s program. No heightened emotions whatsoever. And yet, Victor just joyfully jumps into Yuuri’s arms just because he’s happy and he feels like it.

What’s even better is Yuuri’s reaction - he simply takes him in, wraps his arms around his back and smiles. And what’s also worth noting is that this isn’t their typical head-over-the-shoulder hug. Their foreheads (maybe even their noses) are touching, and Victor has his palm gently pressed to the back of Yuuri’s head.

It’s so simple but it illustrates their love so well.

Because this isn’t platonic - it’s a window into their daily life in Hasetsu, showing us how close they are, even when, you could say ‘there’s no need for it’.

They don’t need a ‘reason’ to be up close and intimate.

They’re in love and it shows, even without the wedding rings or their stating it out loud.

And I think that’s both, beautiful and important.

2

Tianshan Week Day 5 One Day. I named it after the song I listened to. “All is violent, all is bright”.

Sorry for missing out yesterday but I put all my feelings and effort into this one. This instrumental inspired me for the scenery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ9fFfKeWkk

I feel like He Tian would dress like a total pimp later while Guanshan stays with his bomber jackets or warm winter jackets (bought by He Tian and the devil personified refuses to take anything for it in return *cough* Maybe Momo’s soul, but that’s a different story *laughs*)

3

Being cute and interacting with fans, Detroit, 8/29/15

The Imperfections of human beings.

I wanted to write some formal stuff about T6T now that I’m on a real keyboard. I spent the entire night just sifting through people’s very angry, upset, hurt posts about John, Sherlock, Mary, and even Molly.  I think people need to step back and realize what this show is actually about: human beings.

I grew up in a hugely broken home.  My mother’s 6 year relationship with the man of her dreams was shattered when he cheated on her after 6 months of being married.  Our lives effectively ended as she spiraled into alcoholism and a massive depression which eventually killed her.  I’ve grown up literally thinking that cheating on your spouse is how Satan prepares you for your eternity in the boiling shit cauldron of Hell.  In short: I. Hate. Cheaters.

Naturally, when I saw what John was engaging in, my anger shot up like a piss volcano.  My instant reaction was fury, to drop the man and his character like a hot dog patty.  But then, I remembered, that this show has one true characteristic above all others: human beings are not just one thing. People, are flawed.  People, are never ever perfect, no matter how much they try to be.

Listen to what Mary said to John.  She said it was so hard to try and live up to the perfection that she thought John was.  That perfection is (and ALWAYS has been, y’all) a facade.  I never did understand why people thought John was an angel when it’s demonstrated in the very first episode that he is NOT.  I was able to see that, but I was able to see his goodness too.  Same with Sherlock.

Ironically, both of these idiots have spent the better half of 3 seasons trying to BE perfect.  It’s a lie. It can never be.  The irony of Sherlock calling out Mary’s “facade” in HLV just…I sat there grinning from ear to ear because honey you are ALL operating behind a facade.  Every single one of you.  John thinks he wants a quiet life but in actuality he is drawn to catastrophic danger. Copy that verbatim for Mary.  Sherlock thinks he’s a perfect thinking machine without emotion, yet he sits and bawls over his childhood pet. Molly thinks she wants a normal dude who goes to pubs but instead she really wants “a high functioning sociopath”. For God’s sake Mrs. Hudson used to help run a drug ring. Mycroft is perfectly fine covering up murders, sending out assassins, whatever it takes to keep his interests intact.  Ha ha ha these people are aaaaall fuuuuuucked.

 Now, I am still furious with John.  John was ultimately responsible for his family’s destruction.  It was inevitable.  His undying love for danger, despite having a newborn baby in his life, put him and his family on a collision course with tragedy.  Sherlock added to this, but he did not cause it directly.  If John had truly been a responsible dad he’d have picked up and moved his family to the damned suburbs or something and quit solving cases with Sherlock…but he didn’t.  Now, he’ll have to deal with that guilt.  The guilt of being a major reason why his baby girl will now grow up motherless. Sherlock was responsible for the final straw, but John was responsible for the haystack.

And that’s the point of Sherlock.  These people are all terribly, helplessly broken.  I think the most pure person in this show is Molly Hooper, and she’s not perfect either.  There’s only ever been one perfect human being and they nailed Him to a cross.

Having said all of this, and while John’s actions in T6T I found to be absolutely unlikable, reprehensible, and gross…I know he is just a man.  His life was changing at an alarming pace.  A new baby, from what I have heard, throws couples into turmoil all the time.  The man still suffers from mental illness.  He is now a single father, hates his best friend (he’ll get over it, y’all, the writing will make sure of that), and his wife went to her grave believing he was a perfect person when he knows in his heart he is anything but. John Watson made his bed, and he’ll lie in it forever now.  It will now be his personal journey to redeem himself for what has happened.  Sherlock has been on his own personal journey for, well, ever. Now it’s John’s turn.  I’m willing to give him the same chance I’ve given to his stupid friend.  

No one is perfect in Sherlock.  No one is perfect in life.  That’s the point.  We can sit and hate the people who’ve wronged us, and believe me, I still hold a lot of hate in my heart for my stepdad for turning my mother into a pile of rubbish and causing me to grow up a mess of a person.  But in the end, it makes zero positive difference in my life.  That hate is an anchor on me, a weight I don’t want and am still filing at it’s chain to free myself from. 

We forgive or we don’t, but we move on regardless of what choice we make.  We’ll have to see if John Watson makes better choices in the future.  For that little baby girl…he’d better.  I’m willing to wait and see.

I See Stars in Your Eyes (Must be Painful)

This is for the amazing @ackerchou who has graced us with Season 2 Voltron Actor!AU headcannons and I LOVED THEM ALL. I’m writing dancing Lance and kiddie Coran and Allura next. Watch me. Pls check them out because I wanna write a fic for all of them. And because she is awesome and made me feel better on a day I felt bad. There’s aren’t many spoilers for season 2 in this fic but just in case it is tagged. I hope you enjoy it!

x.V.x

              Keith was slightly ashamed to admit that he hadn’t watched the original Voltron before trying out for a part in the new series. In fact, he sort of, kinda, had never even heard of Voltron before until his first day on set as a Galra stunt double. That is until there was a surprise visit from the original cast from the 80’s Voltron series.

              Keith was only slightly mortified that he was the only one who didn’t know who they were.

              Especially since he had thought that Akira was an older stunt double and he had nearly flipped Akira on his shoulder when the man surprised him.

              Even after all this, Lance still wouldn’t stop laughing.

              And of course he had a video of Keith nearly flipping over the original leader of Voltron who was at least twice Keith’s age (but damn did he still look good) and very well known in the world of Voltron. The video even had Keith apologizing over and over to an amused Akira, while everyone stood around staring.

              Keith would remember this next time Lance wanted something.

              Currently he was hanging back in the background while the old cast of Voltron took a tour of the new set to see how far Voltron had come. There was awe and admiration thrown left and right from both the cast of the 80s and the cast of the 2010s. It was a strange sight to see the different cast members who played the paladins together, each very different in their own way and yet so perfect for each character they played.

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btw, 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKOTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO