am i shaving you

Les Mis Characters as Things My Mom Has Said To Me
  • Valjean: Orange is the New Black is just lesbian porn with emotions
  • Javert: I will chase you to the ends of this earth just to slap you if you ever run away
  • Fantine: It pains me to see you ill but give me the fucking Theraflu
  • Cosette: Don't care about your allergies, these flowers brighten up the room
  • Enjolras: When I was your age I was dropping so much acid. I'm glad your teenage rebellion focuses on social justice, at least
  • Combeferre: I was valedictorian and had my Ph.D by 24, and you're telling me women can't be Pope?? How did I never know that?
  • Courfeyrac: (after I fainted while helping her plant) DON'T YOU DARE DIE IN MY GARDEN, FUCKER
  • Grantaire: You are going to die alone and miserable if you keep that cynicism up
  • Joly: (while I was in the hospital) I'm so glad, they have such good Jell-o here. I don't know what brand it is but I love it.
  • Bousset: I know I am not looking at you with a shaved head. I *know* you did not just shave your head in my fucking house...
  • Bahorel: Remember when I made you kickbox in 3rd grade and you broke your hand on day one?
  • Feuilly: She's a drug addict and a felon but she's your grandmother so give her the Vicodin
  • Jehan: When I was pregnant we really thought you were going to be a ginger
  • Marius: I actually dropped out of college for 3 days but then I panicked and went back
  • Eponine: It's good you're gay. Men are pigs. They'll marry you for your money and never do a single load of laundry, ever. Not one. I bet your father has no idea how to even work a washing machine. The gays don't have that problem
  • Montparnasse: (talking about a heart transplant her boyfriend was doing) Yeah so he stole this guy's heart and was elbow's deep in a lady's chest and made it home for dinner. He's a keeper
A Friend Like Me.

Request from @the-lazy-leprechaun: Could I maybe request a fic where Bucky has finally cut his hair since he is now part of the Avengers and the reader offers to help him shave his beard if he guides the reader through it step by step? Like really fluffy!!!

Note: This was totally cute to write out. I remembered the request slightly wrong though when I got into this and accidentally had Bucky asking the reader to do it for him rather than the reader offering buuuuuut I think it makes it extra fluffy so I hope you don’t mind :)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 2,135

Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine. All credit goes to their creators <3

Originally posted by seabasschino

A chorus of cat whistles filled the room unexpectedly and dragged you out of the book you were reading for a few brief seconds, not enough to want to turn around and find out the reason behind it but enough so that you lost your place on that page and groaned to yourself. Even after years of working with The Avengers you were still the complete opposite of the majority of them – whereas they liked to socialise with one another during their downtime you were more than happy to just pick up a book and lose yourself in a whole other world.

You glanced over the page again and found the last line you had read and was about to start again when you felt someone jump over the back of the sofa you had nestled yourself onto and land heavily beside you. The cold feeling of metal brushing up against the bare flesh of your arm told you who it was before you had even looked up from your page.

“So come on then [y/n] what do you think?”


It was the only response you offered him as your eyes scanned the words before you. Pride and Prejudice is an absolute classic, one you had fallen in love with back in your college days, and no one was going to interrupt your reading of it….not if they wanted to have a peaceful life.

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Touch Me (M)

Originally posted by simondismydaddy

↳ Pt 1 (1/1)
Pairing: Fratboy Namjoon x Reader | College AU NSFW 18+
Count: 9152 words
Summary: You’re stressed and recovering from the pressure of exams when your friends dare you to sleep with awkward frat-boy Namjoon. They say he’s a dom in the sheets but all you see is a cluttered mess in the streets.

Namjoon is in your psychology class and he sits in the very middle of the lecture theatre, three seats left of yours. Sometimes you’d look up, prompt by a prickly sensation down your neck to catch the man, horn-rimmed glasses and chestnut disheveled hair staring straight at you, deep in thought.

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My Timeline of Top Surgery & Recovery with Dr. Raphael in Plano, Texas.

This is just a master post of my top surgery experience & recovery. I had double incision mastectomy with nipple grafts in Feb of 2016. I also had lipo. The total was $6,750 ($6,000 for the masc and $750 for the lipo on the sides.)
Pictures will be made available at request.


  • Because I do not live in the Plano area I drove 5 hours to Plano the day before my surgery and had my pre-op apt that same day.
  • At pre-op I met with one of the nurses and with Dr. Raphael. This is your opportunity to talk to him about your chest, incisions, to bring up concerns and so on. In my case, my mom asked all the questions because she wasn’t as versed as I was on what was going on. 
  • At pre-op they give you a lot of things to sign, they take before photos, and just go over the basic run down of everything you need to do before surgery.
  • Try to plan your pre-op apt as early as possible that day. You will have to go get your prescriptions the day before your surgery and you don’t want to run into the pharmacy closing on you or any issues with the pharmacy not accepting the scripts. I went to Walgreens to get mine filled and they gave me a hard time which led to an hour run around between Walgreens and the doctors office.
  • I was prescribed extra medicines because I had issues with nausea in previous surgeries. If you have concerns about nausea tell the nurse at your pre op and they will get you what you need to prevent you from getting sick. They will walk you through possible medicines you may need based on your medical history and/or allergies you have.
  • The anesthesiologist will call you the night before your surgery. They will tell you not to eat anything too heavy for dinner and to make sure it is pretty bland. I couldn’t eat any dairy either. Also, clear liquids for the most part. Of course they advised me not to eat after 10pm for safety. 
  • Make sure you have a support system with you. First of, you can not have surgery without someone to be with you but I took my mom, my best friend and his brother with me. The surgery center also will not let you have surgery without people to care for you afterwards.
  • Pack or get yourself some button up shirts. You will not be able to get into t-shirt well if at all that first week or so. If you are trying to get into t-shirts that first week you will more than likely pull something as you are not supposed to be lifting your arms at all. (Think about the arm range of a T-Rex. That will be you.)
  • I am a pretty hairy individual so I shaved my chest a couple days prior to surgery. About a week before surgery you should start prepping your body for surgery. You will wash your chest with Betadine Skin Cleanser. You should get this information when you set your surgery date. If you don’t get it, email the office.
  • You will take 500mg of Vitamin C daily in addition to any multi vitamin you may be taking. DO NOT take any extra Vitamin E because it may cause some bleeding.
  • Do NOT take any aspirin or ibuprofen one week prior to surgery and up to two weeks after surgery. (i.e. Bufferin, Anacin, Advil, Motrin, Datril, Excedrin, Anacin-free, etc.)
  • NO SMOKING. Especially 1 week prior and two weeks after surgery.
  • Also, you will have to stop testosterone 2 weeks prior to surgery.


  • My surgery was at 7am and lasted about 3 hours according to my best friend.
  • When you get there you will check in at surgery check in desk on your right after you go through the doors.
  • When they call you back you will change out of your clothes into the hospital gown and socks. (I took this opportunity to take my last selfie in my binder.)
  • You then will be escorted to your surgery bed. The nurses will get you all cozy and warm (I personally overheat easily so I had to have them cool me down a little bit) and start your IV. The anesthesiologist will make an appearance to just walk you through some things. Dr. Raphael will also come in and draw the incision marks and other surgery related things on you.
  • After everything they will use your IV to put you to sleep and start wheeling you to the surgery room. I remember being wheeled to the back and everyone being all smiles. I knocked out right when then they put me on the surgery table.


  • I woke up and I only remember them asking me if I wanted something to drink (sprite? ginger ale?). I also remember being wheeled out to the car and my best friend and his brother getting me in the car. I remember being placed in the bed in the room. I remember taking a post op selfie and being able to use the restroom by myself.
  • Wearing sweat pants and/or athletic shorts are a must after surgery.
  • My first meal after surgery was mashed potatoes and gravy. Something pretty light is always best.
  • You can only sleep on your back and you have to sleep elevated.
  • I personally had a problem staying awake the first 3 days after surgery or so. I would fall asleep in the middle of doing things. 
  • You will have a post op the day after surgery. Here they will teach you and whoever taking care of you how to care for your dressings for the next week.
  • Your chest is dressed with pads to soak any blood from your incisions. If you had lipo you will have a half pad on those entry points below incisions. Over that is 2 ace bandages that are wrapped tight to deal with swelling. (They are meant to be tight but if you have trouble breathing then loosen them. They are there for support.) The ace bandages will be wrapped over your chest and your lipo points. The ace bandages stay on majority of the time unless you are changing the pads. DO NOT MESS WITH YOUR TAPES OR ANY OTHER BANDAGES! Only change the pads once a day.
  • Dr. Raphael does not use drains.
  • I developed a minor rash around my lipo points because I had to much moisture there from the neosporin. If that happens to you stop putting the neosporin there.
  • At your one week appointment they will remove the dressings and you will see your chest for the first time.
  • Reveal day is very emotional for most people and I knew that I would forget everything that the nurses told me in terms of my continued aftercare. My tip is to have someone record the entire exchange so you can re-listen to the aftercare instructions later.
  • At one week I was told I could drive again, I could sleep on my sides, I could shower again, and that I could wear t-shirts again. (I personally waited to drive longer than that though because I did not feel comfortable at all.)
  • You will continue to wear the ace bandages for a month. It’s hard to think about binding after surgery but its to contain swelling, so don’t cheat your recovery.
  • For your nipple care, you will be given Adaptic (non-adhering dressing) that is meant to keep your nips moist. you will apply some vasoline to the Adaptic. Then you cover that with a gauze pad and medical tape or fabric tape. (All things you can find in the first aid aisle at the store. The nurses will give you some to get started.) You will do this until you run out of the Adaptic they give you. Which should be about a month to 6 weeks.
  • The tapes on your incisions will fall off on their own. Don’t pull them off. They should all fall off on their own around 4 weeks to 6 weeks.
  • After they fall off you will place provided silicone strips for your scars for a while.
  • At the time of surgery, I was delivering pizzas for a living. I will admit that I jumped the gun on returning to work too early. I ended up going back after 3 or 4 weeks. When you can go back is determined by what kind of work you can do.
  • At 6 weeks, my left nipple looked to have healed wonderfully. I pulled the last of my visible sutures, as instructed, that day. My right nipple still had a little spot to heal but seemed to be healing just fine.

Random Tips:

  • If you have a hard time taking pills like I do. You can try taking them with apple sauce.
  • Make sure you have Miralax and Fiber. Pooping after surgery is really important because the pain meds will stop you up.
  • Don’t over do it. Sit down and rest. I am the type of person that will do everything but I can not stress how important it is to sit down and rest and not try to be Superman. Watch your range of motion, even if it feels, “just fine”. It will have effects on your healing.
  • Netflix. Netflix. Netflix.
  • I don’t hear this referenced too much but for those of you who play instruments, I play violin among others, I would suggest waiting the entire 6 weeks before playing again. 

The nurses will honestly give you everything that you need for recovery. There is no need to worry about recovery supplies. They really give you everything. Make sure you read all of the paperwork they give you in terms of pre op and post op. I did have surgery in Feb of 2016 so things make have slightly changed. This is also MY experience and MY experience alone. My health is different than yours so please listen to the nurses and doctors. I shared my experience to help others have an idea on what to roughly expect.

If you have any questions, feel free to message me or send me asks!

eliza-maire  asked:

Can you do a bts reaction of you shaving only a certain part of your legs because of your pants being higher up on your calf so you just shaved below that, do you understand what I am trying to say?

Of course I know what you mean, @eliza-maire. Hope you enjoy! :)


“What kind of girl does that? And you call yourself a girl? Girls legs should be smooth, (Y/N)!”


“If I were you, I just wouldn’t shave.”


“… Does it really take that much longer to shave a little bit more, (Y/N)? Why don’t you just shave it all off?”



“Don’t your legs feel all prickly past your calves? You don’t mind that?”


“That’s ingenious, (Y/N). I like you all natural, anyways.”


“Do all girls do that?”

Morning kisses by dancingpenguins

Notes: This is a little ficlet for pro-antagonist because Pro-antagonist is awesome and has been stressed and deserves a good laugh. :D It is short and humble but if this brings a smile to your face it has done its job. :D Enjoy.

The bedroom was still dark as Yuuri blinked awake looking across the bed to the clock on the nightstand. It was 6:30 in the morning, which was far too early in his humble opinion but being a professional athlete had its costs and one of them was training. Pushing himself upright Yuuri groped the nightstand with one hand searching for his glasses as he glanced toward the soft sounds coming from the bathroom. Victor was already well into his morning absolutions. The wooden floor was cold against his feet as Yuuri stood swaying slightly still not entirely awake as he put his glasses on and went to join Victor in the bathroom.

He blinked his eyes watering at the brightness of the room after leaving the darkness of the bedroom. Yawning he looked over at Victor who was leaning over the sink humming softly to himself. Victor straightened up as he heard Yuuri and made kissy sounds. Yuuri leaned over tipping his head up for a kiss as the love of his life turned his beautiful face covered in shaving cream towards him. Squealing in surprise Yuuri nearly backed into the wall as he tried to avoid getting covered in shaving cream.

“Yuuri, don’t run away. Don’t you love me anymore?” Victor whined with a pout that somehow was not hidden by the white foam covering his face.    

Laughing Yuuri put out a hand to keep his fiancée at arm’s length. “Of course I do, but why don’t we wait on the kisses until you’ve finished shaving?”

Ducking under Yuuri’s arm in a deft move Victor leaned close pressing him up against the bathroom wall. “Well, you have to shave too. So I am helping. Have some shaving cream” He announced in a bright voice before claiming Yuuri’s lips.  Yuuri’s laugh was swallowed up into a moan as he returned the kiss with interest. It was a while before either of them let the other go and by then they both needed to reapply the shaving cream but for some reason neither of them really cared.

Save Me, Save Me

Character: Jungkook (BTS)
Word count: 973
Summary: Jungkook looks at his reflection in the mirror, wondering if he was really going to do this. Your humming reaches his ears and he thinks, “Yes, I’m a man now. This is something I have to do”  | #fluff #babysitter!au

Originally posted by jeonsshi

The silence was disrupted by a startled scream.

You dropped the half-peeled potato into the bucket, the peeler following after with a loud splash, before rushing upstairs. “Jungkook? What happened?” you called out, running to his bedroom first, to find only his littered toys and colouring books. “Jungkook?” There was a whimper that came from the bathroom, one that you chased.

It was there that you found Jungkook.

And it was so hard not to laugh.

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Spencer X Reader

Prompts #28- “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.” & #30-  “The problem is,” he said as he leaned in. “If I kiss you now, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

A/N: This one was requested by @mishacastiel.

You’re going to notice that these follow the same basics as the other ones. To make it easier for me they’ll all be connected somehow. It’s going to be canon/non-canon…does that make sense?

This is also as far as I’m going to get with smut, not very far. It’s not my thing. It’s totally insinuated in some posts, because whereas I’m abstinent by faith I’m not as disillusioned as to think that everyone I write about is. I’m still not going to write it, though.  

I got lots of requests for #30 and instead of re-using it I decided to keep it to this one. I think it pairs very well with #28 anyway. It’s like a good wine and cheese pairing…and now I want wine. Sigh.

OH YEAH- I should have mentioned this when I started this whole “Spencer imagines” thing that I’m fairly new to the fandom. I started two weeks ago, and as of me typing this on my laptop, I’m halfway through season 5. I’m really glad a co-worker slipped some info to me on this season beforehand because if I had gone into these episodes blind…I would have given up hope on all things love and pure. That brings me to my next question: Who does Hotch imagine?

You’d had a hard day at work. Some days were hectic as all get out and some days were so boring that you couldn’t wait to get out of your shift and do something productive (or just really fun) before you conked for a few hours. That particular shift was longer than anticipated. One of your residents ended up having to go to the ER. It was your first time going. Ever.

When you got in the passenger seat of the ambulance, you texted Spencer, your boyfriend of 2 and a half months. He was at home in his own bed, probably not awake yet for the day (your co-worker had called 911 at the end of your 3rd shift). When he didn’t reply for the duration of the ride to the hospital, you decided to just leave it for the time being. You had to leave lines of communication open with your supervisors and home managers anyway. Hospital visits could get busy, you’ve heard from your fellow co-workers. You wouldn’t have time.

After your resident had been set up into the ER, you checked your phone for the time. There were messages from the appropriate people at work but still nothing from Spencer. The guy wasn’t always a morning person, so it didn’t bother you, not entirely. To be honest, though, you kind of missed him. You hadn’t seen him in 2 days. It could get difficult when he was always away on cases, and you worked the night shift.

After Gertrude was finally officially admitted into the hospital from the emergency room, you were made to go home as per company policy. It was hard, though, because she was your favorite resident and you weren’t sure when you would see her again. You were positive that her condition wasn’t life-threatening, but she was a DNR, do not resuscitate. You still had fear. But your boss was your ride home and she was waiting for you out in the parking lot.

After giving Gert a slight kiss on the temple (she was hella knocked out), you made your way to the elevators and then eventually to the car. After writing your incident report in the car, you finally arrived at your apartment. You thanked your boss and made your way through your front door. You heaved a sigh and took off your jacket, then hanged it up. When you kicked off your shoes, you cocked your head and listened. After receiving no reply from your text early, you had hoped Spencer was going to surprise you. You should have known better.

Again, you weren’t completely offended. It was nearing lunchtime, and there was always a chance that he had to fly to a different city in a different state. It was OK. It was totally OK.

“I need Haagen-Dazs,” you heavily sighed. Sometimes the ice cream helped with the little white lies you told yourself.

When the pint of raspberry white chocolate truffle was opened, you grabbed a spoon and proceeded to throw yourself onto the sofa in the living room. You turned on the t.v. and prayed that The Price Is Right was on. Apparently, you were just going to keep receiving disappointments as the day wore on. You should have gone to bed, but your mind couldn’t stop racing.

After you had checked your phone, totally not the hundredth time since you first texted your boyfriend, you stood up for something. Of course, you forgot what it was and sat right back down. You got up again and started pacing after groaning at the sky.

“What is wrong with meeee?”

Nobody answered, you were home alone after all, and you weren’t sure if you should cry, take a shower, or try to sleep. Knowing that sleep was nowhere near possible, you decided to shower. Maybe you’d cry in there? I am losing my ever-loving mind.

When the hot shower didn’t do anything, you decided to switch it to cold to shave your legs. Why am I shaving in cold water, you shrugged but continued to skim the razor over your soaped up legs. You turned off the not-so-helpful water and ran your hands over your legs and made sure you didn’t miss anything. That’s when you got inspired.

“Why the eff am I home, alone, when I have a key to my boyfriend’s apartment that has rockin WiFi,” you asked yourself while you were still bent over feeling your legs. “And why am I talking to myself and asking questions?”

You scrounged your bedroom looking for a cute shirt to put on over your best pair of jeans. The one you picked was a hyacinth blue. When you looked at the ever growing pile of dirty clothes, you decided to use Spencer’s built-in amenities. He drank your coffee, you used his laundry detergent. Give and take, give and take.

The weather wasn’t too obscene for mid-February, and you decided to just walk the few blocks to his building. You were really glad that your job sometimes included lifting your residents and maneuvering their bodies because that laundry bag was no joke. You needed to remember that you were an adult and that you had to do your own laundry more than once a week.

Pfft, yeah okay.+

After making it up to his floor and throwing your jacket and extra key onto his side table, you walked into his bedroom. You sat the bag on the ground and decided to go for a pair of his sweats and sat on the bed to try to roll up the pant legs. That had failed miserably, and you threw your body back on his dark blue comforter in more frustration.

You stared up at his white ceiling and smiled when you tried to imagine what Little Spencer’s walls looked like all those years ago. I bet he had those glow-in-the-dark star stickers and I bet he put them in constellations. Your thoughts of what kid Spencer was like led you to the nap you so desperately needed. Dreams of being a kid and being Spencer’s playmate took over any frustrations you had following your shift.

When you awoke, it was to your best friend with his arm around your waist and his chest to your back. Sometimes your legs intertwining made it onto you Favorite’s list.

Okay, it made the list all the time. It was the top 3.

His even breathing into your hair made you realize that he was taking his own nap. From the corner of your eye, you could tell that the sky outside was darkening, but there were still splashes of pink and orange. You began to crave Superman ice cream and held in one of your groans of frustration.

That explains it! “My period!”

You quickly latched your hand to your mouth when you realized that you yelled that last part but it didn’t matter. Spencer’s hold was tightening, and you could hear him yawning from behind you. You held your breath and tried to wait it out, but he started stretching. You rolled your eyes.


“Hmm?” Your boyfriend had hummed in confusion.

“Nothing, Spence. Go back to sleep.” The hand that was resting against his arm began to make soothing motions, but it got trapped by a bigger one.

Spencer must have mentally decided he was over looking at the back of your head because he pulled moved you onto your other side, to face him. He gave one of his beautiful lazy smiles and blinked softly. You just gazed into his eyes, waiting for him to get to the awareness level he wanted to be at. Given, not aware might be what he wanted.

When he didn’t snuggle up to you to go back to sleep, you realized that he was waiting on you for confirmation that it was okay to return to slumberland.

“Go back to sleep, Hun.” You fingers raked gently through his hair. “You gotta be exhausted. You had knocked the heck out when I woke up.”

He scrunched his nose in disagreement. “But you’re awake. When you’re awake, I’m awake.”

“Well, that’s not true. If that were the case, then neither of us would be getting any sleep ever,” you chuckled.

He chuckled and responded with “Oh the things we do for our careers. I’d go many moons without sleep if it meant I could get to spend more time with you.”

Blushing, you gave a soft snort. “Maybe if you could survive without resting that giant noodle of yours.”

“Okay Miss Smarty Pants, how long did it take you to give in to sleep after your shift, huh?” He was on his elbow now.

You followed suit. “Not that long. I’ll have you know, I got an adequate amount sleep.”

When his eyes narrowed at you, you held in your sigh of resignation. You weren’t going to give in that easily. Spencer couldn’t always win, could he?

“You got home, almost 5 hours after your shift was supposed to end, and went immediately for the ice cream. Haagen-Dazs to be more specific. You tried to do something to waste time, probably watch t.v. or read. I’m going to guess t.v. since your hands were busy. After you ate ALL the ice cream, you eventually decided to come over here and apparently do laundry. When that, for whatever reason, didn’t work out you decided to come in here and get comfy. Am I right?”

You didn’t answer him, so his fingers skimmed your sides, making you giggle.

“FINE. Yes. Yes, you’re right.”

“Thank you.”

“Mostly right, anyway. Not all of it was right. You missed the part about what happened after I came in here.”


“I laid on your bed and imagined what your childhood ceiling looked like, imagined being your friend all those years ago. If you could see the stars from where you lay and if they were in all the right constellations. I bet you would have spent hours laying with me telling me them all, name by name. You would have traced them out with my hand.”

Spencer watched carefully as you drew out the only constellation you knew on the back of his arm, making goosebumps raise. He didn’t say anything.

“You would have taken the time to explain everything to me and made sure I understood it. You would have been patient with me too, and that’s more than what I would have deserved. Even after I would have zoned out, not that I would have wanted to, you would have kept tracing the constellations. There would have been nothing that could make you give up on me. Just like there would have been nothing that could have made me give up on you.”

When he still didn’t respond, his eyes never leaving yours, you went on. “Just like how there’s still nothing that could make me ever want to give up on you. Because you’re mine, and I love you.”

“Y/n,” he hummed your name and if that wasn’t one of the best sounds you had ever heard… “You gotta stop doing that.”


“Saying things that make me wanna kiss you. The problem is,” Spencer said as he leaned in. “If I kiss you now, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

You fluttered your eyes clothes as he ran a hand down your spine and left it there at the base. You had re-opened your eyes to discover his were now sparkling and full of mischief. There was a side of Spencer you didn’t always get to see, and it was beginning to come out. Blessedly, it was a part of Spencer that only you ever got to witness.

A few moments slipped by, and he didn’t do anything else. You softly ran your fingernails from behind his ears and along his lower hairline to the nape of his neck, causing him to shiver. He didn’t move from his position, though. He was still halfway leaned in.

You lowered your hand and gently rested it on his waist, your thumb briefly disappearing under his shirt. He took it was a sign to gently lower you on your back but his eyes still never left you.

How blessed can I be, you thought, that I have such a wonderful man by my side to guide me through the worst of times and rejoice with me through the best of times.

Unbeknownst to you, he was thinking the same thing but mirrored.

When his lips touched the base of your throat, you arched your back and gave a soft moan. There wasn’t a sign of him letting up, and then you remembered and began to chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” He had asked when you didn’t cease.

“Oh man,” you wiped the tears from your eyes. “I completely forgot, and that could have been an extra mess we wouldn’t need.”

He kept his penance of confusion but raised his eyebrow.

“I just started my period. We won’t be having any of ‘that’ for a while.”

“And that’s funny because…”

“Because if I’m not laughing, I’ll cry and that’s about 3 more pints of ice cream you don’t have.”

Spencer lowered himself back onto the bed and sighed.

“Alright, but there’s ways around that.”

You had slid off the bed and headed towards the en-suite.  “Yeah, not a chance. Good try though,” you say as you walk into the bathroom and close the door, still laughing.

Pokemon Professors be like...
  • Oak: I am basically god. But I still don't know your gender.
  • Elm: I'm trying my best. And you're trying your best. And the pokemon are trying their best. And what the fuck am I doing with my life?
  • Rowan: Go do dangerous things and don't come back unless you are in a wooden box or finished your pokedex. Whichever comes first.
  • Juniper: This task makes no sense. Go fuck shit up.
  • Sycamore: I am so proud of who are you? Who am I? Did I shave this morning?
  • Kukui: I'm the first totally ripped professor. What up?

I currently have them shaved, but I am a firm believer in shaving only what you feel like shaving. I’m tired of friends and family thinking this is “gross” or “not ladylike”. What the FUCK does ladylike mean? I am a human being that grows hair out of my body(in all the same places as a man I might add), deal with it. No shave, no shame. ✌

Treated Wounds

Pair: Peter Parker x Reader

Prompt: Reader and Peter Parker are good friends so once he gets badly injured, instead of going to the hospital, he goes to her place instead.  

Word Count: 1880 words (woohoo!)

A/N: I feel like there are a thousand fics like this but whatever.  I decided to join the club.  Anyways, this was fun to write so enjoy!

Originally posted by datpizzasparkle

You quickly grabbed the finished popcorn out of your microwave ignoring the fact that the popcorn was at a high temperature and slightly burning your fingertips.  You poured the popcorn into a large bowl and walked back to the living room which consisted of multiple drinks, chips along with blankets and pillows.  

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I Remember

A/N: In this, Civil War never happened.

Word Count: 1182 aka the longest fic i have ever written 

Warning: Not proof read, swearing

Pairing: past Bruce Banner x reader, Brucetasha, Bucky x reader

Summary: You wake up in a hospital room with no memory of anything or anyone. Until he walks in.

Permanent Tag List: @burningarbiterheart


Originally posted by petils

Originally posted by little--batman

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Sentence meme || Fever edition (some nsfw)
  • “One day you will kiss a man you can’t breathe without, and find that breath is of little consequence.”
  • “I love books, by the way, way more than movies.“
  • "You exist in a place that is beyond all rules for me. Do you understand that?”
  • “You’re leaving me"
  • “The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were trouble.“
  • "You don’t have to sound so sour about it.”
  • “Try and I’ll chain you up.” 
  • “Nobody looks good in their darkest hours. But it’s those hours that make us what we are.” 
  • "Promises can be made to lull the heart and seduce the soul.”
  • “We’re translating Kama Sutra…with interactive aids.” 
  • "Let me be your man.” 
  • “I hate fate. I don’t believe in her. Unfortunately, I think the bitch believes in me.” 
  • "Woman you make me crazed.”
  • “I get a hard-on a great deal more often than occasionally.”
  • “Assume’ makes an ‘ass’ out of 'u’ and 'me’.” 
  • “One day you will wonder if it’s possible to hate me more.” 
  • "Love knows no right or wrong. Love is. Only is.” 
  • “That’s it. Fate is a fickle whore. We’re not going. Take your clothes off and get back in my bed.” 
  • “Hope strengthens. Fear kills”
  • “You are a menace to others! A walking, talking catastrophe in pink!”
  • “Stop staring at my dick.“
  • “I said breathe. Not do a fish-out of-water imitation.” 
  • “I’m asking the questions tonight.”
  • “What are you?”
  • “I am not helping you shave your legs.”
  • “The more excited I get, the more I vibrate.“
  • “Dude, the bush is ready. Why you still beating around it?” 
  • “I’ve never heard anyone mutilate the English language quite like you.” 
  • “Never underestimate a well-dressed bimbo.” 
  • “Open your eyes and say my name.”
The Signs as Songs pt. 2

Aries: Sweetness by Jimmy Eat World
(This sweetness will not be concerned with me. No, the sweetness will not be concerned with me.)

Taurus: Yellow by Coldplay
(Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones, turn in to something beautiful.)

Gemini: Paris by Grace Potter & the Nocturnals
(If I was a man I’d make my move. If I was a blade I’d shave you smooth.)

Cancer: I Am Not A Robot by Marina and the Diamonds
(Better to be hated, than loved loved loved for what you’re not.)

Leo: Vienna by Billy Joel
(You’ve got your passion, you’ve got your pride. But don’t you know that only fools are satisfied?)

Virgo: Shooting the Moon by OK Go
(What can he tell them now? Sorry I let you down, sorry it wasn’t quite true.)

Libra: Wild World by Cat Stevens
(Oh baby, baby it’s a wild world. It’s hard to get by just upon a smile.)

Scorpio: Champagne Supernova by Oasis
(Someday you will find me, caught beneath the landslide. In a champagne supernova, a champagne supernova in the sky.)

Sagittarius: Endlessly by the Cab
(I’m not perfect, I’m just me. But I will love you endlessly.)

Capricorn: Your Song by Kate Walsh
(Haven’t you heard? I’m stuck on a verse. I’m stuck on a boy, who fills me with joy.)

Aquarius: Electric Love by BORNS
(Baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle. I won’t let you go now that I’ve got it.)

Pisces: Out of the Blue by Prides
(You break the surface, take the lead. There’s nothing left for me to breathe.)

Part 1 HERE