am i right about the 'let' thing yet or...

it’s getting messy. lex calls me on tuesday and leaves a voicemail. “i know you’re ignoring calls right now but we miss you.” i listen to that six times in a row and almost text back. everything sounds fake. what am i gonna say. sorry yet again i made you feel like you don’t matter to me. even the sun doesn’t matter to me. even my own body. i mark the message as “unseen” and hope i one day have the energy. getting back is always so many steps, so many apologies. the little things pile up. sorry about that time i let you down. oh and the other one. oh and those small things you never mentioned but we both know bother you. i want to fix things. i do. but i just don’t know how to.

anonymous asked:

HI Lady Kay! I'm a huge fan of your blog! When you were in your third year of medical school, did people constantly try to convince you to pursue pretty much any other field besides surgery? I'm a woman interested in gen surg residency, but I seem receive discouragement from almost any non-surgeon I talk to. I want to pursue what I love the most, but it's definitely unsettling when so many people are basically telling me that I will be a lifelong workaholic with a bad home life. Thoughts?



It’s something that makes me so angry that people still think about surgery. Women in surgery can be anything they want. They can be moms and wives. They can rescue puppies or climb mountains. They can be cardiothoracic surgeons and pediatric surgeons and oncologic surgeons. They can have two XX chromosomes or not. They can like to own fancy shoes or like to wear nothing but jeans. They can wear lipstick to work every single day or never wear makeup any day of their lives. 

Women in surgery are amazing and can do anything they want. 

People on the outside don’t get that. 

But as someone on the inside – let me tell you – I am going to get everything. 

I am a surgery intern. One of the years that is notorious for being the hardest. And yet… I’m buying a house and getting married. I find time to go for a run a couple times a week and I cook meals for myself. I manage to read about one book a month that’s not about medicine. I’m writing on this blog right now. 

I am going to get everything that matters to me. 

I won’t say that there haven’t been compromises and sacrifices. I don’t do quite as many different things as I used to before I was a resident. I’m sure you’ve noticed I don’t blog as much anymore. I read fewer books. Sometimes I decide I don’t care if my hair was washed two days ago because dry shampoo exists and it’s pulled back all day anyway. 

About a year ago - I had an ampersand tattooed on my ankle to remind me of the word “and”. I will always have a lot of “and”s involved in who I am. 

I am a surgeon AND a wife-to-be AND a cook AND a writer AND a friend AND a daughter AND a sister AND a runner. 

And I’m only adding to those things. If I’m lucky, soon I’ll get to add AND a mother, AND a researcher AND a teacher AND a whole lot of other things. 

Being a surgeon is one thing I do – sure it’s a really incredible thing I do – but it’s only one thing I do. I do a whole lot of other things and being a surgeon is not the only thing that defines me. 

Women in medicine and women in surgery are amazing. We are a great many things – and backwards ideas that we have to “give something up” are sexist and antiquated. Ideas that say we can’t be all we want should be shut down. 


Servants ~ A Zhang Yixing Series

A Zhang Yixing royal life AU

Not requested

Genre: Angst // Romance

Member: Zhang Yixing (Lay)

Summary: (of this series) As an upcoming king, Zhang Yixing has always had many pressures and expectations as the only heir to the royal throne. As his servant, he never acknowledges you. What happens when he suddenly does?

{Chapter two} {Chapter three, coming soon}

Wiping the sweat off his forehead with his pocket handkerchief, Yixing sighs as he looks out to how far his golf ball had traveled. 

“Great one son,” his father says as he positions himself to take his swing. “Qualities of a King. Being great at everything.”

Yixing rolls his eyes. Just because he’s good at golf doesn’t mean he’ll be good at being a king. After a few more swings and compliments, he excuses himself and leaves to go back to where the castle is. 

Stepping out of the bathroom after a steaming bath dressed with his wet hair slicked back due to him running his hands through his hair, he sits by the window and sighs. Looking out the window, he spots his soon-to-be kingdom.

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Do You Trust Me?

Originally posted by hotel-queen

Reader takes Bellamy back home only to end up needing help. Part Three of Halfway

Reader X Bellamy Blake

Warnings:Blood I think that’s it.

I wake up to feeling something brush my face softly. My eyes snapping open I quickly sit up just to see Bellamy sitting a foot in front of me clearly startled.

“Sorry you had-. Nevermind.” He says scratching the back of his neck looking away from me.

I smile seeing is tan skin brighten with a blush. Moving to all fours I press my lips to his cheek loving the surprised reaction  I get from him.

“What was that for.”

“Seemed like a good idea.” I say shrugging earning myself a slight glare it quickly fading though.

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They’re Better Than You Are P.2 (Rob Benedict x Reader)

A/N: I didn’t mean for this to turn into three parts but here we are. 


Summary: You and Rob are married, but you’re going through a really rough patch. You play Metatron on Supernatural, (female Metatron), and the time has come for the two of you to film “Don’t Call Me Shurley”.

Pairing: Rob x Reader

Word Count: 1,938

Warning: Angst, Fighting, Emotional Hurt, Fluff


I looked down at the opened package in my hand.



Written by

Robbie Thompson

Directed by

Robert Singer

“God dammit.” I said, slamming my fist against the kitchen counter. I’m an idiot, a God damn idiot. I pulled out the schedule in the package, along with the given plane ticket. Thank God I was scheduled to fly out tomorrow.


“Rob Benedict! How are you doing man?” said Bob Singer, reaching out to shake my hand.

“Bob Singer, doing just fine. Honored to be back, sir.” I said, shaking his hand. I glanced over his head, trying to see if Y/N was on set yet. It had been almost two days and I still haven’t heard from her.

“Okay, so you’re gonna sit in this booth here, and Y/N’s gonna come around from here to start the scene.” said Bob. I looked down at my “costume”, a white and green t-shirt, jacket, and jeans. I nodded, showing I understood.

“You don’t happen to know where Y/N is, do you.” I asked.  

“Oh, I would imagine you haven’t seen her yet today. She’s been filming a scene in a dumpster for most of the day, but she’s on her way back now to start filming here.” said Bob, walking behind the camera moderator to finish setting things up.

I sat down in the booth of the bar, not really sure what to do for the time being.

“Okay, Bob, this dog is quite literally the best dog I have ever worked with on a set before, and that’s saying something.”

I turned around at the sound of Y/N’s voice, seeing her walk in carrying the small dog that was a part of this episode.

“Good he’s being a good dog, Y/N.” said Singer, laughing a bit.

“Ready to shoot?” Y/N nodded, looking around the set, eyes falling on me. The second they did, I could see the light just leave.

I’ve really messed it up this time.

“Okay guys, we’re gonna start with the scene with Metatron flying back through the doors. I want to get the stunt out of the way first. Y/N, you good to get hooked up with the wires?” My eyes went wide.

“Holdup, since when do you do your own stunts?” I asked, getting up from the seat and walking towards the two of them.

Bob looked at me, confused. “What are you talking about, Rob? She’s been doing her own stunts the entire season.” I looked at my wife, surprised she would keep that from me.

I guess Bob could feel the tension.

“Um… I’m gonna get the harness set up correctly.”

Y/N turned towards me.

“If you think you have the right to get me to stop doing stunts, you can shut it, Benedict.”

“Y/N, please I just want to talk-.”

“Rob, you lost that right a long time ago.”

“Okay! We’re ready!” said Bob.

I sighed, turning around to get on my mark as she got hooked up to the harness. It was gonna be a long day, I could tell now.

“Ready guys?” asked Bob, getting into his director’s chair. Y/N and I both nodded.


“-think we’re finally getting somewhere.” I said, getting into Chuck immediately after 6 years of not playing him.

“You started writing the second she came back, didn’t you?” This was the first time, obviously, that Y/N and I have ever acted together. I stuffed my hands in my pocket as Chuck, ready to keep going.

“No wonder you’re on a deadline! Now I understand why you’re masquerading in that sad, little meat suit! For the same reason you created this nostalgic bar to write your masterpiece in- you’re hiding!”

“Okay. First of all, this gift-.” I pointed at my face. “Is super cute. Secondly, I’m not hiding. I just like the ambiance in here.”

“You said… the safest place ever created. Created by you… to keep safe from Amara! She can’t touch you in here, can she?!”

“You’re upset. I-I understand. And it’s good to let it out.” I turned around, walking back to the booth like it said in the script, but my eyes went wide, realizing just how big the parallels are in this script, comparing it to our own life.

“But, uh, let’s focus on, uh, finishing my book.” I clapped my hands, pretending to type on the computer. I knew the next line coming, and I knew how much Y/N was actually going to mean it.

“You know, I was a crappy, terrible god. My work was pretty much a lame, half-assed rewrite of your greatest hits. But at least I was never a coward!”

I pulled myself together, ready to watch her being flown back through doors. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to hurt her, real or fake. I didn’t want to fight anymore.

But I also needed to do my job.

I stood up, turning around to face her, making myself look as furious as I could possibly look in this situation. As soon as I faced her, she flew back, flying out the door. Knowing the camera was on her, I closed my eyes, just trying to keep it in character. She walked back in.

“There he is. That’s the guy I know, the guy I love. I remember the first time I saw you. All the angels were terrified, but I wasn’t. The feeling of your light was… was just beyond measure. And then the unthinkable. You picked me to help you with your tablets.”

This was way too hard.

“You were just the closet angel to the door when I walked into the room. There’s nothing special about you, Metatron. Not then… not now. Now… I’ve been called many things- absentee father, wrathful monster. But, coward… I am not hiding. I am just done watching my experiments’ failures.”

“You mean your failures, Chuck?”

How did Robbie Thompson write something so close to our lives right now? I sighed.

“You want to watch? Be my guest.” I turned, gesturing to a set of TVs that weren’t there yet.


I let go of a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, leaning down against my knees. I turned to look Y/N, just to see she was in the same stance as I was. At least I know she was feeling the same as I was.

“Good job guys, excellent really. Just give us a minute to set up the different camera angles, alright?” I nodded at Bob, turning towards Y/N.

“Y/N, look, please we need to talk. What can I do to get us that far at least-.” She held her hand up, cutting me off.

“Not now. Please, just let me concentrate on working today. I can’t handle anything else. Please.” I nodded slowly, backing down.

A long day it was gonna be indeed.


“Ready guys? Second to last scene of the day before we continue tomorrow.” said Bob, again in his director chair.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” said Y/N. We’d been on set for hours, yet she’d been able to ignore me all day.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” I said, facing her and the computer they had set up in front of me. We were both sitting in the booth of a bar, ready to film Y/N’s big scene towards me.


“You know, you really are a terrific editor, Metatron.”

Y/N chuckled, chuckling in character. “Well, I was a terrible writer. A worse god. It’s good I’ve got something good for me.”

“Yeah, you know. I have to say, I didn’t see the whole evil-turn thing coming.”


“Why did you try to be me?” I said, keeping the scene going as Chuck.

“That was just a sad, pathetic cry for attention.”

“Whose attention were you trying to get?”


My jaw dropped, but my jaw dropped as Rob Benedict, not Chuck Shurley. Her words, the words she said to me before leaving for Vancouver replayed in my head.

“You know what Rob? I’m done trying to get your attention.”

Y/N went on with her monologue.

“You are light… and beauty. Creation.”

I leaned back in my chair.

“Wrath. Damnation and Salvation.” All of a sudden, tears started escaping her eyes. It wasn’t written in the script for Metatron to cry, not written at all.

“And I don’t care if I was just the angel nearest the door.” Y/N’s voice cracked as she went on.

“You picked me. Your light shined on me- Me! Oh, and the warmth. But then you left me. You left all of us.”

I forcefully tried to hold my own tears in as her words from before kept replaying in my head.

“-but you better open your eyes and realize you need to be here to fix it.”

“It wasn’t just the saps who were praying to you. The angels prayed, too. And so did I- every day.”

“I know.” I know now. I know how long she had been fighting for us. I know how long I hadn’t been answering.

“You want to sell the best-selling autobiography of all time? You explain to me- Tell me why you abandoned me. Us.”

I didn’t want to say my next line. I’ve never hated myself more than I do in this very moment.

“Because you disappointed me. You all disappointed me.”

“Then why do I feel like such a disappointment?” I was there to hear it. I was there to hear her words to Matt. But she didn’t know that.

All of a sudden, Y/N stood up, advancing towards me to say her next line. Another thing that wasn’t written in the script. She was sobbing by now, but holding it back just enough to keep going on with the scene. The tears flew down her face.

“No, look. I know I’m a disappointment, but you’re wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they’re better than you are.”

I bit the inside of my lip, trying to keep myself from crying too. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. Y/N kept going; I could tell we both just wanted this scene to be done.

“Yeah, sure, they’re weak and they cheat and steal and… destroy and disappoint. But they also give and create and they sing and dance and love. And above all, they never give up! But, you do.”

“I’m done dealing with the fact that you’ve given up.”

My face fell, but the cameras were still rolling. The tears kept rolling down her face, but I put the glasses back on, cleared my throat, and turned back to the computer.


“Holy shit.” I said out loud. It was the best acting performance she had ever given. I turned and looked at the crew behind the cameras; their jaws were dropped just like mine was. I turned back to look at my wife.

She had broken down completely. Y/N sat there, her head in her hands, sobbing her eyes out. I just couldn’t believe I had done this to her.

Bob Singer took one look.

“Y/N, do you need a minute before the next scene? I think we can be done with this one now.”

Y/N nodded, jumping up and walking away, I’m assuming to her trailer. I stood up behind her to follow.

TAGS: @laffytaffyhumor @hudine @fandom–0verdose @madame-marilyn @casgrl @nerdyforyourbooks 

@waywardswain @i-dont-understand-that-url @dont-hate-relate-pls 

@fuckyeahchuckshurley @clever-girl-velocistar237 @madelineannmolder @msimpala67 @evyiione

anonymous asked:

Heeey was wondering if you could do a 13 for the prompt thing with percabeth and Baby Blofis? Xxx if you aren't too busy haha

Christmas Prompts

#13 - Character A’s little sibling/child wants to meet their favorite celebrity/writer/person for Christmas. Character B is said “Christmas present”.

Special thanks to my beta @daughterofjade, to @ananbeth for the motivation, and @anxiouspineapples for the inspiration.  

Dear Santa,

I have been very good this year.

I clean my room when my mom and dad tell me to. I say please and thank you. I gave a stray cat some tuna. I named her Pepper. And I didn’t punch Jack Teller too hard when he pushed me in the snow yesterday.

Please give the toys you were going to give me to other kids who need them. I want to make them happy.

For Christmas, I want to meet Annabeth Chase.


Hannah Blofis

P.S. Here is a cat sticker. I hope you like it.

“Hannah, don’t sit so close to TV,” Percy reminded, calling to his baby sister who was perched on her knees in front of the screen. Immediately after dinner, Hannah - still working on a mouthful of mashed potatoes - had leapt from her chair, dashed to the living room, and turned on the fight, leaving Percy, Sally and Paul to clean up the dishes. Her little hands were pressed against the glass as her hero filled the television.

Annabeth Chase, champion MMA fighter, stared down her off-screen opponent before the fight. She snarled, revealing her black mouth guard and making it look like a toothless grin. Her blonde boxer braids draped over her sponsor-ridden sports bra as she warmed up, flexing her insane biceps unconsciously to the roar of the crowd.

Judo Barbie is what the media called her. Though, based on the interviews and press conferences she’d given, Annabeth didn’t seem keen on that nickname and - in Percy’s limited knowledge about her - would expect that the person who came up with it would be met with a swift punch to the throat if they ever crossed paths.

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"If I don’t burn, I will turn to stone”

“Do you know what I hate most about your world? Anything that is different, you try to change. You try to tear it down. You rip the wings off the phoenix and they turn to stone… If I don’t burn, I will turn to stone. I have to burn”

Today I am going to talk about the uncomfortable things.

Today I am going to talk about myself; “I am the subject I know best”. Today I am going to talk about where I am at now, the things that were hidden and the things that shouldn’t be.

I tried to avoid a piece like this, I really did. And yet something about the way life is going right now is forcing me to let it out because that is my actual purpose. I figured that out a while ago. And until you live in your purpose; it will chase you everywhere and then refuse to leave the room. I know that God put me here to be a vessel; a voice for the uncomfortable things. The main and best part is that I know who I am; and this is important because it is one of life’s blessings and tragedies – not a lot of people figure who they are and not a lot of people get a chance to so for that part, I am really grateful.

We are living in one of the most fickle ages. People’s loyalties do not last forever. People’s love does not want to last forever. There is so much happening on the internet that is not going on in real life. There is so much love and support and in reality; it’s loneliness everywhere. People more and more are finding more comfort in being themselves around strangers online than they are around the people they see every day. I kept saying it right? The uncomfortable things.

See lately I have reverted back to being a recluse, sometimes to understand and sometimes to make sense of my own noise. I have spent my whole life being different, rebelling or achieving unreal things. So now I feel like a 40 year old filled with a life of experience stuck in my 24 year old body.

I spend my days thinking and drinking about this stuff. I drink too much and also enough. We all have our vices right. I drink because of a very specific, very dominant emptiness and then I think about things that fill the space. I think about the past, I think about the consequences, I think about the bullets dodged because of it, I think about the people I have lost because of it, I think about the people who stay because of it, I think about the people who tell me stories that they think I won’t remember afterwards, I think about why they do not tell the people around them, I think about why I too have been silenced along the way much like they have, I think about why it is important to me that I am vocal now, I think about the people who would get it and the people who wouldn’t, I think about these things and I fill the space.

I think about how our generation is going through everything at once you know? And, we seldom get the credit due for just dealing. People my age are fighting these demons so much bigger than them and the people older than us tend to trivialize that because they have handled worse. I think about how there is no one struggle bigger than another and I think about how I can change that, how I can make life easier for someone else by getting through mine.

So many traumatic things have happened that were swept under the carpet and I think that’s the gist of the times now. The get over it mentality, the life goes on mentality, the if I can be this person why can’t you mentality. 

This morning while I was getting ready, I noticed a bruise on my arm (and I’m not sure where it came from) but the point of this story is that when I saw it I immediately had a flashback of an experience a few months ago where an abusive man attacked us and then we just had to move on. We blamed ourselves for not being sober much like most of the experiences that seem to occur. I remember showing my girls my arm when that happened and then covering it up with foundation when I eventually went back to work. And although there was admin following the event and conversations around following up on a police case; It was as though it never happened once it was over.

That’s the thing about getting to the point I’m at now. There is no more covering up. There are no more excuses for the way people treat or react to me. I am at a stage where I own my messes if that’s what they are, where I own when I am wrong and where I refuse to own when somebody else is wrong. It is so much easier to use somebody or something as a scapegoat rather than own your role and that is one of the lessons I too had to be honest about in order for myself to arrive here.

I am at a stage where I don’t care and it’s greatest thing. I mean, I do not care about perceptions, I care that there’s a point in the end. I don’t care to be liked or disliked, I don’t care what people think of me, I don’t care whether they praise me or demonize me – I care to change someone’s life through mine because I am starting to understand how the world is at what feels like an advanced level right mow. That is why I’m still here being a part of it even though I tried to leave. I am here to tell these stories. I care to make it easier for people younger than me. There was a point where I could’ve been somebody’s mother but I am not and maybe there’s a reason for that. A point where I could’ve been somebody’s lover but I am not. I’m here, sitting on my own thinking and drinking about things and I am cool with it because it does not entirely hurt. The uncomfortable things, remember? So now I burn because I have to. I burn because do not want to turn to stone.

I suppose all this that I am saying here is – is that this is the job that I chose for myself. It is the great part about being an artist. This is the job that was chosen. One where I am constantly looking at the world and using myself to make it more bearable you know? To build something and then leave it in your hands. To bleed so that somebody else can feel lighter, less ashamed about what they go through. This is the job that I chose. I read something recently along the lines of; artists make others understand them in order that they can zoom in on themselves. So today we talked about some uncomfortable things but in the end I know that it will be magic.

“What’s the main thing that makes magic, magic? The fact that no one believes that it’s possible”

I’m here to tell these stories and I cannot wait to see the finish line and what I (we) become.

In the meantime, hold tight. You’re doing well.


How I picture an INFJ in each enneagram type

(Not at all serious, the serious one comes later lol)


INFJ 2: LOVE ME!!!! *throws roses with thorns at you*


INFJ 4: I AM AN INDIVIDUAL AND YOU WILL VALIDATE THAT…but really it’s okay if you don’t I will understand :) BUT NOT REALLY…okay maybe…

INFJ 5: *gives detailed yet useless information about everything* *has a super sucky Fe* what do you mean I’m not a IxTx???? Of course I am! Well….no…but I could be!

INFJ 6: ok I trust you and whatever but am I really safe??? Can I ACTUALLY trust you??? Lol you really gotta Help me out here.

INFJ 7: *tries not to be stressed and upset about things but fails* WhY aM I LiKe THis????? *has a lot of Fe and acts like an extrovert*

INFJ 8: I WILL FIGHT YOU RIGHT NOW LETS FIGHT…lol jk you thought I was being serious??? Nooooo not at all I only fight people on Mondays…. *very sarcastic* *constantly in an Se grip*

INFJ 9: “how are you?” *is slightly stressed and mad* I’m happy I’m good I’m great I’m wonderful I’m amazing I’m- JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. :))) Wait don’t leave….NO COME BACK *sad face*

“Am I Supposed To Be Scared of You?” Carl Grimes x Reader Imagine

Prompt: You keep reliving the lineup incident and Carl, your boyfriend, tries to show you that there is light even in the darkest places.

Word Count: 1831

Warnings: Swearing, Gore, Violence, Vomit, Angst

The sky was dark; it seemed as if the world was always dark, even in the daytime. You lay in bed staring at the ceiling, still unable to process the tragedy that occurred last night. Carl was resting next to you. You knew he wasn’t sleeping, but rather was restlessly moving from one position to another. He turned to a position where he was facing towards you. You felt his eyes staring at you, but you didn’t want to look at him.

“You haven’t spoken a word in almost 24 hours, (Y/N). Will you please just look at me?” Carl pleaded with a hint of helplessness in his voice.

Helpless. You’ve never felt helpless until now. Everything was so wrong and broken. Your heart broke as Carl said those words, but you couldn’t find the ability to move. It all just kept replaying over and over and over again.


One moment you were walking with the group, trying to get Maggie to the Hilltop, and the next firm hands were gripping your arms and forcefully throwing you onto dirt and gravel. Rocks dug into your knees to a point where you thought they were going to start to bleed. You looked at Carl, who was sitting next to you, and he simply nodded at you; you knew that this meant that everything would be okay. The group has survived so much; what is another bump in the road?

Your thoughts were interrupted when Glenn, Rosita, Michonne, and Daryl were thrown out of the back of a van and into the u-shaped line that you were all set up in. You looked over to Rick and you sunk into your heels; your leader, your father-like figure, your group’s strength looked absolutely petrified. Carl noticed that you were getting more nervous with every passing second and he placed his hand over yours.

“Well, lets meet the man himself,” said the man who threw you on the ground.

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My Princess - Wonho Mafia AU (chapter 6)

Character profiles   Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3    Chapter 4    Chapter 5   

Originally posted by monstaxmemes

[3 months later. February 11. 2:00 pm]


It’s been 3 months since a series of unexpected events happened. My father found out about the kiss with Hyungwon and gave him a warning, luckily no one found out about Wonho barging into my room. Through these past months me and Wonho had secretly gotten closer. In public we seemed to hate each other but behind doors we were more than friends. He hadn’t asked me officially to be his which worried me. Kihyun had tried making a move on me but it didn’t feel right. I felt guilty, he was beyond carrying with me while I pretended to be okay with it. 

Kihyun slowly got more comfortable being around me while Wonho secretly got jealous inside, I knew because he had told me multiple times when were alone… There is 3 days until it’s Valentines Day, Wonho said he had something planned. That means he would have to sneak me out without my father or anyone else knowing. I’m currently home alone with Wonho, I.M, and Jooheon. I watched the clock and waited for it to hit 2:30. At 2:30 I.M and Jooheon would be leaving me alone with Wonho and head to their meeting. 

WONHO’S POV [2:15 pm]

I sat with I.M and Jooheon who didn’t seem to stop talking, knowing that they will be leaving soon made me happy in the inside, it’s been a couple of days without having any alone time with y/n. Of course I enjoyed being around the boys, I known them for years now but right now I just wanted to be left alone with y/n. Just thinking about her made me feel much better, she is my princess and I am her prince… 3 months ago when I finally confessed and she accepted my feelings I was shocked. I was unfair with her and yet she seemed to push that aside and accept me for who I really am.

We have secretly been having a thing going on since that day, yet we haven’t told anyone. We couldn’t, if we did we would be pulled apart by her father and I couldn’t let that happen. I can take a beating for her but I can’t let her be taken away from me. I explained to her that I tied her up and forced her to take her meds because I cared for her, I admitted that I took it too far and apologized.

[2:45 pm]

I stayed downstairs 15 minutes after the boys left to play it safe, I got up and headed upstairs to her room. Softly I knocked on her door, “Princess it’s me” I informed and then let myself inside quickly to only be embraced into a hug as I got in. A wide smile appeared on my face, locking the door and then cupping her face to kiss her deeply. When I pulled back I meet her beautiful big brown eyes. She turned on her tv and then headed to her bed. I walk over to her once she pats the space next to her, I smile once again and head over, laying down and pulling her into my arms.

[3 days later. February 14. 8:15 am]


Finally it’s Valentines Day, I’ve been planning today for over 2 weeks now. I haven’t asked y/n to be mine properly and today was the day. Her father was leaving around 4 pm to Japan and taking everyone with him but me and Kihyun. For today I had a special dinner by the beach planned for the both of us. Y/n loves the beach so taking a night walk would be great after dinner. Besides that I rented us a room at a near by hotel. I wanted this to be perfect and nothing was to ruin it.


“Okay KIhyun you got this.” I told myself. I had just finished making breakfast for y/n, she did normally wake up around this time. It’s valentines day and from what I know y/n doesn’t have a valentine. Carefully I placed all the food in a tray with a white rose next to it, y/n’s favorite roses. Why was I so nervous to ask her to be my valentine? I pushed my nerves aside and headed upstairs and slowly walked into her room, y/n had barely woken up, great. 

I smiled at her, “good morning” I said happily. She smiled back softly back at me, my heart felt like it was about to skip a beat. I watched as she sat up slowly, carefully I placed the tray next to her and picked up the white rose I had picked out just this morning for her and handed it to her. “My lady” I said with confidence, she was surprised but smiled. Good job Kihyun, she really liked it.

[ 4:00 pm]


It was currently 4 pm and my dad hasn’t left yet, his flight was leaving at 4:45 and at this point he would be late. I sat quietly on the couch watching TV with the boys, keeping a distance between me and Wonho, however Kihyun was sitting down next to me. My father walked in and said that plans changed and he was leaving until the next couple of days. I quickly glanced at Wonho and saw him lost in his thought. I was interrupted from mine when I felt Kihyun motion me to get up and follow him. I was confused but followed him, Wonho’s eyes not leaving mine as I walked away from them.

Soon me and Kihyun were outside in the garden alone. He seemed nervous, “Okay yn… I’ve been trying to ask you something all  day today but I have’t had the courage too..” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Will you be my valentine?”



I’m trying hard to be light. lighter. let the world in. some people are like golden light streaming into a kitchen (in the quiet hours of the afternoon). i want to be that light. right now I am that lonely kitchen. the universe is glorious and I am thinking about the things i have yet to see, and i feel so full, so full.

I miss him.
They say that you should let go when your heart’s been broken but do they even know how hard is it to let go when your heart’s broken, that too by a person whom you never expected to break your heart?
I never realized how much his thoughts drowned me. Until I woke up to notice that everything that we had was over, even when I am caught up in my work there wouldn’t be a single moment where I don’t think about him. I just can’t get him out of my fucking mind. After everything that has happened, I still check my phone, expecting a text from him. Every notification gets my hopes high as to what if it’s him?
I know I should feel the pain but I fucking can’t. I know I should be furious but I don’t feel that either. I am so overwhelmed, I can barely feel anything. I can’t even get myself to express my own feelings. It just feels like I am empty.
All I want is for him to pick up the shattered pieces and put it back together. I just want him to come back and stay with me. I know he is not gone. I know that he wants to work on even the smallest crack in our relationship. Honestly, I want that too. But the thing is, I promised myself not to let him create a mess all over again. He had a chance to make it right. I gave him one chance to make it right. And in the end, I was left with nothing but an atrocious confusion.
The confusion still lingers in me, he said he wants to work on the relationship, he never wanted to give up but if he really meant it then why didn’t he ever put in some efforts to get it right? I was on the verge of crying while saying “I want to break up with you”. It is probably the most difficult statement that I have ever said. He laughed when I said so. He said he loves me. He said he cares about me. If he really did then why would he laugh at me while I was stammering to get these words out of me?
I had promised him that I would never leave him, no matter what. I told him that I was never going to leave him and he was stuck with me forever. He would smile and say “You are the one. You are mine forever.” He made me realize that I was capable of falling in love too. What I felt for him was indescribable. Which is precisely why I want to forget everything and forgive him. However, maybe this is the reason why we got lost and slowly started drifting apart. Maybe I was so caught up in his love that I never saw the storm that was ahead of me.
I started realizing that the intimacy, the heat and the passion was gone. The main element of our connection was fading away. The love was fading away.Things started to change. My world began to fall apart. He wasn’t my best friend anymore, he couldn’t give me his time he was busy and he wouldn’t talk to me. When we talked, we fought, we wouldn’t understand each other. The spark, the connection, the bond, it had vanished.
We gave it another try. Morelike, I did. I asked him for what I wanted in our relationship and he promised me to work on it. I risked everything I had, to give it some time and make it work. Neither of us wanted to give up on each other. I thought, I fucking thought it was worth fighting for but in the midst of trying so hard, I couldn’t hold on to it any longer.
The irony is that the person who once filled my heart with joy and gave me all the happiness in the world is the one who has created the emptiness in my heart. I let go of him but he took away all my feelings along. The worst part is, I want to tell all this to no one but him. The one who I once shared everything with is the one whom I am craving to talk to right now. It’s like one part of me is missing and I am left with nothing. It’s like every love song is about him and all the memories come gushing back not one by one but all at once. I just…. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
All I know is I love him but if I let myself into that rabbit-hole yet again, I will lose myself forever.
—  1:28 am thoughts ataraxia

“She was still hugging the cat. "Poor slob,” she said, tickling his head, “poor slob without a name. It’s a little inconvenient, his not having a name. But I haven’t any right to give him one: he’ll have to wait until he belongs to somebody. We just sort of took up by the river one day, we don’t belong to each other: he’s an independent, and so am I. I don’t want to own anything until I know I’ve found the place where me and things belong together. I’m not quite sure where that is just yet. But I know what it’s like.” She smiled, and let the cat drop to the floor. “It’s like Tiffany’s,” she said. “Not that I give a hoot about jewelry. Diamonds, yes. But it’s tacky to wear diamonds before you’re forty; and even that’s risky. They only look right on the really old girls. Maria Ouspenskaya. Wrinkles and bones, white hair and diamonds: I can’t wait. But that’s not why I’m mad about Tiffany’s.”

- Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

She’s Special (Gally x Reader)

Character: Gally

Fandom: Maze Runner

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Songfic

Title: She’s Special

Requested by anon:

Gally imagine where he isn’t affectionate to his girlfriend in public or in private but when Teresa flirts with Gally, he tells her to back off because he’s with Y/N?

Requested by anon:

hey love :) can I request an imagine about gallyxreader based on the song ‘the edge of tonight’ by all time low, please? thanks :3


A/N: I tried writing this two requests separately, but I found myself not having enough ideas for them separately. So I decided to join them together and I’m pretty happy with the final result. Enjoy, guys! :D

With a kiss on her forehead, Gally left their room and walked out into the Glade to start his job as a Builder.

Y/N wished he was so affectionate towards her in front of the boys, but she guessed he just didn’t like to make their love public. Not that he was too affectionate in private either.

She understood that Gally wasn’t the needy or cuddly type and she accepted it.

Still, she would appreciate some cuddles, hugs or kisses. Or some compliments every once in a while.

But Y/N just went to the Gardens to do her job like every other day.

And Gally just went to talk to Alby to plan what he needed to fix or build, like any other day.

It felt tiring waking up in that dull place every day. It felt tiring to follow a routine and do the same thing over and over again, one day after another.

It felt tiring to be trapped inside that place and knowing there was no way out.

Maybe they could never go home, and if they could it would be in a long time. It felt lonely.

And he wasn’t the only one that felt like that. Gally knew that everyone, deep down, felt the same. And their faces told their misery.

But not when he looked at her.

As he marched to do his job and glanced at her, she felt like a far away light in the horizon to light the darkness. Just that she was much closer than it appeared.

It’s a long way home,
When you’re on your own,
And your only friends are the traffic lights,
Speaking in morse code,
The road is long,
And I am tired,
But with you on my horizon,
I will drive until it all breaks down

He had finally arrived and was prepared to get started when he felt someone tapping his shoulder.

Gally turned around and found face to face with the other girl in the Glade. Teresa.

“What do you want?”

“I just wanted to say…” She paused, bluntly smiling at him and playing with her hair. “That you look very handsome today”

The boy watched her confused. What had gotten into her?

It was true that Teresa constantly sought his attention and often went with him even though he didn’t want her company. But that day she was just being too strange.

“And that if you want, we can-“ She was touching his arm, feeling his toned muscles under the skin.

He finally understood that she was flirting with him, so he took a step back.

“Go away” He just told her, annoyed.

“What did I do?”

“I’m with Y/N”

“What?” Teresa huffed, annoyed. “Why do you like her? You don’t even show your affection towards her”

Gally briefly glanced at Teresa for a moment, annoyed.

But then his eyes wandered around the Glade until he found Y/N again. She was there, chatting with Ben.

She was smiling, her kindness and cheerfulness showing in every move she made. In her eyes, in her smile.

It warmed his heart just to see her, just the mere thought of her.

“She’s special” Was all he replied.

Gally found himself feeling such immense affection towards her that he needed to let her know how important she was to him. Because just when Teresa flirted with him did he realize how Y/N must have felt.

Teresa was right, he didn’t show any affection. Not that he didn’t feel it, but maybe she thought he didn’t.

He dropped everything and just walked up to her, ignoring Teresa’s complaints.

As he approached her, he realized her point of view.

Even if he knew she was much more affectionate than he was, she never complained about him being the total opposite.

Gally often behaved grumpily and hurt her feelings when he accidently let his anger or frustration vent on her. Yet she never stopped loving him.

She kept giving him second chances, forgiving his outbursts or his gruffness.

Spent my whole damn life,
Trying to get things right,
And for every one of my mistakes,
You gave me all these chances,
When the roads too long,
And I am tired,
You are my horizon,
And I’ll drive until it all breaks down,

When Gally had finally arrived to her, he stoped for a moment to admire her.

How did he not realize all that before? He had been too blinded by her beauty and her kindness. She had been hiding all her pain just like he had been hiding his remorse for upsetting her every now and then.

But now he knew.

Ben realized that Gally was there before she did, so he said goodbye to her so they could be alone.

“Y/N” Gally called her, smiling a little when she turned to him and saw her warm eyes and her gorgeous cheerful smile.

“Hi, Gal!”

Without a word, he engulfed her in a hug and sighed in happiness when he felt her frame wrapped in his embrace.

“I know I don’t tell you this often, but I love you” The boy bowed his head down to leave a kiss on her head.

Y/N squeezed him fondly and chuckled.

“I still know you do”

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the perfect moment.

Y/N was his light, the hope he needed to overcome every single day in that place. Her smile and mere presence gave him strength to look forward to another day with her.

To live life with passion and eagerness as long as she was by his side.

You keep me alive,
On the edge of tonight,
Chasing tomorrow,
With fire in my eyes, (yea)
You’re like a siren in the dark,
You’re the beat playing in my heart,
You keep me alive,
On the edge of tonight, (yea)

Single and Ready for A Pringle

INFJ: “Being around my around my friend’s amazing boyfriend reminded me how painfully single I am.”

Originally posted by life-is-a-very-big-joke

INTP: “Ugh, I know.  When I would hang out with ESFx and her boyfriend, I’d just be like, my God, I am so single. I kind of hate this.”

INFJ: “Right? I’ve been single for so long. And when people ask if I’m dating…”

INTP: “I get asked who my boyfriend is sometimes and I’m like, good question, if you find out, let me know.”

INTP: “I always have this problem where I guess I sort of live vicariously through other people when they’re telling me about fun or sweet things they’ve done with their partner, and I get all excited and happy but then I’m like…” 

Originally posted by acidbaee

INFJ: “My Doctor does that EVERY time I see her.  ‘When are you going to start dating?’ ‘Are you dating yet?’ I’m like, could you stop, please. If only male types thought I was attractive. I get so giddy and excited for people but Friday night comes along and I’m watching Scrubs for the fourth time.”

Originally posted by ignitetheliight

INTP: “I get you.  My friend was telling me, ‘Yeah, my boyfriend and I are going to dinner for Saturday night!’ And I’m just like, that sounds like fun! *Proceeds to geek out over Lord of the Rings while sitting alone in the dark.*”

INFJ:  “Usually the gist.”

Thing about jjong is that I can relate to him somehow.. His loneliness, his sadness, sensitiveness.. I’m not a bright person too. To be honest, i’m gloomy almost all the time. I just read his interview about happiness and I feel so sad.
If I am to be asked “are you happy?” I probably can’t say “yes” right away. I live well, I have a lovely family, I can say at least I have one really best friend, steady job, not a lover yet but i’m fine, still I can’t say i’m happy yet. My live is only about work, sleep, watching, surfing internet. Sometimes i’m asking too, what do I live for.
Still, reading something like that makes me want to hug him, pat his head, and said that I’ll make him happy and let’s live happily together. I know, It’s impossible thing to do, who am I anyway??
But as how he work hard through his music which comfort me, I want to live a happier live too, so one day I hope that i could tell him: “let’s be happy together Kim jonghyun ssi, i’ve become happier because of your music, so please find your happiness too.

Ah well I see it’s my turn to jump in on the newest hot button issue, minor attracted people or MAPs. I’m not going to call them pedophiles because I’m talking about the ones who have not hurt any children, I am not supporting or defending child rapists I am talking about people who have a mental disorder. If a MAP happens to hurt a child they can go burn in hell. Now that that is settled lets carry on. 

MAPs are mentally ill and quite a few of them recognize it and therefore they seek help from a therapist and try to reduce their contact with children, and that’s a good thing. Telling someone to go die for a crime they haven’t yet committed and possibly never will commit is fucking dumb so stop doing it. That being said MAPs have no right to be in LGBT spaces because it’s a mental illness that’s like saying all hypersexual people are LGBT and they aren’t. Personally I like the fact the MAPs label themselves as such so I can avoid them. As much as I appear to defend them they make me quite uncomfortable and if you keep attacking them they’re going to stop labeling themselves as such making it much harder for anyone to avoid. 

TL;DR MAPs are mentally ill, aren’t LGBT and, I’m going to be labeled a pedophile defender despite the fact I’m a minor. 

My Goddes. My Love.

Title: My Goddess, My Love

Word Count: 1,907

Request: “Can you please do a scenario throwback all the way to On and On era for Vixx? Can it please be Vamp Leo smut X Reader. Vamp Leo is just… *_*”

The moonlight lights up the dark room as I capture his glowing yellow eyes that stood out in the darkness. I sat there on the bed staring at him as he slowly moved towards me as he gave me a predatory gaze. I couldn’t say anything but stare at him as he moved even closer till he was right next to me.

His usual visits included him standing far away from me in a corner of my room. Me not being able to see him but only able to feel his presence in the room. It took him long till he had actually spoke to me and told me his name. Leo.

I smiled shyly as he sat on the edge of the bed. For the last week he hadn’t come to my room leaving me worried about what had happened to him. If he was hurt, captured, or worse.

Keep reading

“It’s just not the right time yet..”

As a queer person living in a developing country where homosexuality is still illegal, I am sick and tired of ‘gay-friendly” straight folks let alone homophobes trying to silence us whenever we mention the homophobic law by saying that it is not the right to time to talk about our rights, by saying the government has more important things to work out. It’s like, do you even realize how homophobic and cruel you’re being? Are you telling me that having a discussion about this law that is sending these innocent gay people to jail and fucking their lives and future up, is not an urgent priority? that this law that perpetuates the violence and persecution against queer folks in our society is not something worth having a discussion about? You’re basically saying that our right to exist in peace and be recognized as an equal individual is some kind of luxury and you are fine with the current law that sees me as a second-class individual just because I don’t happen to be heterosexual when across the ocean people can already marry the same sex. If now isn’t the right time to talk about it then when?!!

Article 489 of the Penal Code of Morocco criminalizes “lewd or unnatural acts with an individual of the same sex.”. Same-sex sexual activity is illegal in Morocco and can be punished with anything from 6 months to 3 years imprisonment and a fine of 120 to 1200 dirhams. 


I was scrolling through the comments of several videos of Pansexuals coming out on camera to their viewers, or to their parents. Mind you, there weren’t many comments on these 2 videos and the fact that I have so many pictures is hella dissapointing.

This not only calls for pansexuals, but for all other sexualities and genders. Its sick of people to act this way. There were times when reading these comments that I thought they were joking around and being sarcastic- but no. Its horrible that people can be so blind.

As a pansexual myself, i know what this is like. Like the comments say, i am told i am bisexual, I’m making ‘pansexual’ up, and that i am another sexuality because “they know my sexuality better than i know my own likings of people”.

Like any other person who supports lgbtq+ rights, I hate this!!! Yet as much as we all spread awareness of the lgbtq+ community and the hate, homophobia hasn’t changed. But what really needs to happen is we need to stay strong and laugh about these comments and things. Because psshh… They think they KNOW us? Hahaha idiots. They know NOTHING. We are better than them and we will achieve better. We can just leave them pounding their fists on the ground. Let them break their fists by pounding so hard. We are so much stronger and better and we can do this. Let your pride shine through.