it’s getting messy. lex calls me on tuesday and leaves a voicemail. “i know you’re ignoring calls right now but we miss you.” i listen to that six times in a row and almost text back. everything sounds fake. what am i gonna say. sorry yet again i made you feel like you don’t matter to me. even the sun doesn’t matter to me. even my own body. i mark the message as “unseen” and hope i one day have the energy. getting back is always so many steps, so many apologies. the little things pile up. sorry about that time i let you down. oh and the other one. oh and those small things you never mentioned but we both know bother you. i want to fix things. i do. but i just don’t know how to.
HI Lady Kay! I'm a huge fan of your blog! When you were in your third year of medical school, did people constantly try to convince you to pursue pretty much any other field besides surgery? I'm a woman interested in gen surg residency, but I seem receive discouragement from almost any non-surgeon I talk to. I want to pursue what I love the most, but it's definitely unsettling when so many people are basically telling me that I will be a lifelong workaholic with a bad home life. Thoughts?