wheres the fic where Clark Kent gets caught kissing Batman, and then gets hounded by the media every waking moment because “average civilian is dating Batman!!” and Clarks mourning the loss of his anonymity, meanwhile Bruce thinks its fucking hilarious, enjoy dealing w the press in both of your alter egos now, pretty boy, so Clark waits several months for the whole thing to die down before showing up as Superman to some party Bruce is attending and flying up to Bruce and going “paybacks a bitch” and just full on makes out with him in front of like a million reporters
Warden: and these are my new recruits, a psychotic murdering Dalish who tried to make a tree eat me, this bloke who killed several of our troops while trying to rob the keep, a drunken dwarf outcast, an apostate who probably didn’t murder any Templars, this other dwarf who gets really excited when you suggest she’ll likely be eviscerated by darkspawn, aaaaand a possessed corpse.
- my grandma’s shopping list (Toblerone. That’s it. One toblerone.)
- “Does the fish and chip shop have gluten free batter? I can’t eat gluten, remember.” “Yes, grandma. It does.” “Oh. I don’t eat the batter.”
- singing ‘there was a little fishy on a little dishy’ eight times in one five minute car journey and laughing hysterically every single time
Giant sentient space biorobot mom adopts hundreds of traumatised kids with strange powers, convinces them to slaughter their slave masters and go to bed for a few hundred years.
Cut to present day where we’ve been booted out of bed by the potato people empire and shot at by fridge-wearing bankers, space uncle Teshin helps save us from being body snatched by the elderly while Space zombie virus runs out of control because Salad V fucked up,
space mom is busy keeping us away from Grandpa “destroyer of worlds” Hunhow, who hates kids and our edgy amnesiac? brother keeps trying to kill us.
All while absentee Void Dad is now trying to reconnect with “it’s” estranged kids and make up for lost time and that unpaid child support.