am i getting too carried away with this icarus thing

Sunblind.

Okay. I’m here to tell you guys about Sunblind.


This isn’t really a review, it’s just me gushing about how amazing this piece is. Sunblind is a collection of poems by @ibuzoo / @rmeisel, telling the story of Apollo and Icarus, two mythological figures, as lovers in the modern age. And it is phenomenal.


To give you guys an idea of what ruined me, let me share some of my favorite quotes (I had to cut down the list so I wouldn’t make this too long oops)


“There are no words left in his body so he cuts and punches his way through life. I heard he once woke up in a bathtub full of ice and half of his organs out. Fourteen scars are all over his body. I wonder what made him become such a monster.” (Things overheard about Apollo by passing, Page 8)


“The bitter scent of the sun is all around you, drenches you to the bones and you count the sins on your tongue and dream of a voice that called you crossfire in your sleep.” (Suburbia, Page 22)


“You’re desperate. As if your life depends on me. Selectively blind. Prepare for the kill my dear. This will be ugly.” (I am the Sun, I do not weep, Page 26)


“The twenty-first century leaves nothing of imagination. All burns will heal with time. The rain left scars all over my back. Sometimes the sun shines through the afternoon sky and it looks like falling diamonds. I’ll teach myself to be happy. You stare at me like a criminal right before you kiss me. Falling feels like flying. Nothing spells b r o k e n like f o r e v e r.” (Lies Icarus told recently, Page 30)


“He falls to your feet, knees on the ground, eyes up to the sun, obedient. You watch history repeat itself because you never learnt from your elders and you can’t do anything to stop him from falling. Eventually, you lose count. His name tastes bitter on your tongue now. You blink and he’s gone. You know how this will end. Embrace the flight and kiss the boy goodbye.” (Paperthin, Page 32)


He patches you up in places no one should be allowed to touch. Can’t you see? A strangled shout - Apollo are you even listening? I am, he says, hollow like the echo of an old record, played too often. But I am already his, he doesn’t say but instead thinks of sun kissed backs and the marks on greedy bones.” (Fall of the Sun, Page 38)


“The way he kisses his knuckles right before he wipes away my tears. When he follows every breakdown with a punchline and carries his pain until it consumes him. The act of love that spells murder on his shoulders.” (A collection of things that Icarus loves about Apollo, Page 39)


You’ll get better, they say. You’ll live. Wrong, they’re so wrong. You survive, not live. How brave of you.” (One, Two, Three - Breathe, Page 90)


“When you see him again, don’t say a word. He’s burned and scorched and healed in enough places already. There’s no need to burn him down again…Remember: you’re a God, you’re immortal. You were always meant to lose him to the waves. (On loving the boy with wings, Page 93)


I. Just.


This collection broke my heart. After I finished it I pretty much fell into a coma and I had to go for a walk. (Sounds dramatic, I know. But seriously.) This week at home has been strictly autumn weather, with bright skies but icy wind. I kept squinting in the sun and every time I did I would think about Apollo, his blue eyes glaring in the light, and feel my chest get heavy. Did you think reading just caused emotional pain? No, get ready for Sunblind to sucker punch you and laugh as you slowly bleed out.


I don’t really think I can choose a favorite poem, because every one had me practically crying, but I think the character that I felt most gravitated to was Apollo. He seems so unique to me. The way the author paints him is so mesmerizing and I was immediately attached. So many of the lines from his perspective hit me so hard. (To be honest, he likely reminds me of myself a bit too much.) So thank you, @rmeisel, for ruining me with a boy who used to be vague and one dimensional in my Latin textbooks, but is now very real and smirks at me every time I walk into the sunlight. Also, I adore that Artemis was in a few of the pieces. Thank you for that too. 


Honestly, thank you for everything. Genuinely, thank you for sharing this book with us. It was absolutely shattering, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 


Also…because I’m a nerd on every facet, if anyone’s interested, here’s some music that I was reminded of while reading: 


Silence - Koven

Intro - Boy Meets Evil - BTS

Can’t Live - Karmin

Wild (Young Bombs Remix) - Troye Sivan