am i creepy or what


me listening to  BEAUTIFUL normal version:

*intense dabbing* 

me listening to BEAUTIFUL Acoustic ver.

*dramatic tear* just like … less beautiful 

The Dinosaurs Will Turn to Dust

 *shows up to my own fic 15 minutes late with starbucks, wearing sunglasses*


i’m so sorry this is late!! one of my coworkers had to go back east because her mom’s in the icu so i’ve been working overtime lately…hopefully she’ll be back soon and my hours will kinda normalize.

okay, disclaimer: i have no idea how fast drugs would show up in a urine test. that, i am happy to say, i have never had to find out. having said that, i figured most drugs absorb into the bloodstream fairly quickly, and since your body is constantly filtering your blood to remove toxins which are then expelled through urine, a few hours would be leeway enough. let’s just pretend i know what i’m talking about. 

on the other hand, i’m actually kind of happy with an ending?? for the first time in forever?? *closes eyes and crosses fingers*

(i’m gonna try and get this crossposted on AO3 soon, when i have the time and the motivation hyoop)


part one here / part two here / part three here / part four here / part five here / part six here / part seven here

Originally posted by ayeohwesterburg


Veronica was hanging upside down on the monkey bars at the park by her house, giggling as she felt the blood rush to her head.

“I haven’t done this in forever,” she laughed, and JD smiled at her, one eyebrow arched.

“You look ridiculous,” he told her, and she grinned.

“I know,” she replied. “It’s fun. You should join me.”

“I don’t think so,” JD teased. “I’d spill our slushies.”

Veronica rolled her eyes, sitting up so she was on top of the monkey bars and grabbing onto them for support as her world blurred for a second.

“Ah, yes,” she said, “we can’t have that.”

She jumped lightly to the ground, leaning up to kiss JD as she took her slushie from his hand.

“Hey, don’t knock it,” he breathed, and she smiled.

“Of course not,” she chuckled, kissing him again briefly before pulling away and making her way over to the grass. She collapsed onto the ground, staring up at the sky as she saw JD sit next to her.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Veronica sighed, letting her happy smile fade away. “I guess I just have to accept the fact that my social life is ruined and do my best to protect Martha from the worst of the fallout.”

“Don’t say that,” JD replied, frowning slightly. “We’ll figure out how to make them stop. Our love is God, babe.”

Veronica wrinkled her nose and squinted up at JD.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked, confused. He shrugged and took a sip of his slushie.

“Nevermind,” he said, and Veronica decided to let it slide as she sat up and took a long drink of her own slushie, wincing at the now-familiar pain of the brainfreeze.

JD laughed at her, pulling her into his lap.

“You’re adorable,” he told her, and she scoffed quietly, eyes dancing.

“No, you’ve got it wrong, babe,” she said, casually intertwining their free hands. “You’re the adorable one here.”

“Hey,” he protested, chuckling as he kissed her nose. “I’ll have you know, someone once called me a Baudelaire-quoting badass, and she looked smart so I think I believe her.”

Veronica grinned, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” she said, and felt him kiss the top of her head.

“I worship you,” he breathed, and Veronica felt her heart soar.

They spent the rest of the day talking and laughing, and as they made their way to Veronica’s house from the park, she could have sworn her feet didn’t touch the ground at all as she held JD’s hand.

Veronica fell asleep quickly, nestled securely in JD’s arms. She didn’t wake as he slipped out the window and walked to the payphone down the block, dialing a number he hadn’t used in years.

“Hey,” he said as the voice on the other end greeted him. “What’s the going price for steroids these days?”


Veronica woke the next morning to JD humming as he read a thick book, sitting in the chair at her desk.

“I could wake up like this every morning,” Veronica greeted, sitting up and rubbing her eyes as JD grinned, dropped the book on the desk, and made his way over to press a gentle kiss to her lips.

“I thought of the perfect way to get revenge on Kurt and Ram,” he said happily, and Veronica smiled.

“Oh yeah?”

He held up two bottles. Veronica took one and read the label, furrowing her brow.

“What’s…methandrostenolone?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Steroids,” JD said casually, and Veronica’s eyes went wide.

“JD, do you have any idea how much trouble they would get in for this? They could go to prison,” she hissed, and he shook his head with a fond smile.

“Relax,” he said. “The label’s fake. Those pills are just your common garden-variety ibuprofen. We’ll plant these in their gym bags, make it look like they’re taking drugs, but everything will come back clean, and they’ll be the laughingstock of the whole school.”

Veronica blinked as a smile spread across her face.

“You’re a genius,” she said, leaning up to kiss him once more.


Veronica straightened her skirt anxiously and knocked on the door of the locker room, knowing that Kurt and Ram were the only two in there.

Kurt swung the door open, squinting at Veronica.

“What do you want?” he asked, and Veronica held up two mugs full of green smoothie.

“Well, I wanted to thank you,” she said sweetly, “you know, for showing me such a good time at the party, and I know you guys like protein shakes, so I made these for you. It seemed fitting that I help you keep your…manly physiques.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows, but Ram had made his way to the door and grabbed a mug.

“Hell yeah,” he grinned, grabbing one mug and downing the whole thing in one go.

Over his shoulder, Veronica saw JD, who had entered quietly through the other door, slip one bottle of pills into each boy’s bag.

“Oooh,” she said, looking back at the two jocks. “That was impressive…but I bet Kurt can’t do that.”

Kurt’s chest puffed up angrily, and he snatched the other mug and threw it back even faster than Ram had. Veronica pretended to swoon.

JD gave her a thumbs-up and slipped out of sight, and Veronica smiled at the two boys in front of her.

“Well, I’d better be going,” she said, “but hey, maybe we should spend some…quality time together later.”

Kurt and Ram nodded, and Veronica forced a giggle, stepping back to let the door swing shut.

“Later,” she cooed, and the door shut. She heard one of them tell the other to “punch it in” and rolled her eyes, turning around and making her way out to the football field to meet up with JD.

While she had been distracting the two of them, he had gone to the football coach and faked concern for the two, telling the coach he suspected drug use, before sneaking into the locker room to plant the bottles.

She grinned as she saw him, relief and happiness spreading through her whole body.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” she giggled, and JD grinned.

“I can,” he said. “I can’t wait to see their faces when they realize what we’ve done.”

They sat on the football field for a while, talking as they watched the clouds.

Almost three hours had passed when a siren whooped from the parking lot, and Veronica craned her head to watch as two uniformed officers made their way into the locker room, followed by a man holding two plastic cups and some paperwork.

“What’s he doing?” she asked, and JD hummed, turning his head to look at the man.

“Oh, those are drug tests,” he said. “Looks like the instant-result kind too. They’ll know in seconds if it’s positive or negative.”

Veronica waited anxiously as five minutes ticked past.

The door burst open again, and Veronica squeezed JD’s hand as Kurt and Ram were led out in handcuffs by the two police officers, followed by the coach and the drug-test man.

“Wait, what?” Veronica gasped, watching as the drug-test man said something to the coach. Kurt and Ram were unceremoniously helped into the back of the police cruiser, and it drove off.

She heard JD laugh, and whipped her head around to look at him. He looked back with a gleam in his eye that scared her.

“What the fuck did you do?” she demanded, and he bared his teeth in a chilling approximation of a smile.

“Don’t worry, Veronica,” he soothed gleefully, a hint of hysteria dancing in his tone. “They won’t be able to hurt you for a long time.”

“You lied to me?” she screeched, not caring who heard. “Those drugs were real?”

“Of course they were,” he laughed, and Veronica shuddered at the manic glint in his eyes.

“This will ruin their reputations,” Veronica cried. “They’re going to have a drug conviction now, and they’re…wait, how did the drugs even get in their systems?”

“I made those smoothies,” JD chuckled. “Easy enough to slip a few ground-up pills into it.”

Veronica’s jaw dropped, and she could only stare. He rolled his eyes.

“This is a good thing,” he reassured her. “Now they won’t be able to hurt you anymore. Our love is God, Veronica.”

He pulled her into a hug, and she let him hold her, not knowing how he’d react if she pushed him away like she so desperately wanted to. She wanted to rage and cry and scream, but she stayed silent and motionless.

“Our love is God,” JD repeated, squeezing her arm.

“Our love is God,” she echoed back, and felt him laugh as she fought back the urge to scream.

‘Billie Lurk watches me closely, studying my decisions, each move I make. That’s nothing new. Even as a kid, there was a quiet curiosity there, though curiosity is not quite the right word. But lately it seems more intense. I’ll feel the hairs on my neck standing up, only realizing a moment later that Lurk is on a roof or balcony nearby.’

upthehillart  asked:

Hey, it's me again! Sooo what abouuut... Remus in number 11? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

11. With their favorite animal.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i see what you did there

where tf did this style come from

and yes, that is Sirius’ jacket

ryushkka  asked:

OMG so not to be weird or anything(Who am i kidding this is gonna sound creepy no matter what now that I've said it) But I just saw your list of Cons your gonna attend and I'm freaking out because we live in the same state! I just thought that was really cool and i love your art like hardcore so I hope I get to meet you at one of the upcoming events! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

It’s okay, I understand X3
I feel oddly honored that you’re so excited to be in the same state as me??? XDDD
I hope that you’ll be able to attend one of the cons I go to as well! OuO
If you ever do, just mention your username to me at the booth, and I’ll give you some sweet deals! >u<

pewds plays resident evil 7 ( sentence starters)

source [x]

  • “ ooh, it’s been a while since we’ve done one of these.”
  • “ sort of went down hill for a while, didn’t it?”
  • “ where did it all go wrong?”
  • “ i don’t know why i’m talking like i have something stuck up my ass.”
  • “ i am genuinely passionate about these things.”
  • “ hey, sometimes you gotta live hard, and… this doesn’t seem like one of those moments, actually.”
  • “ oh my god, it IS a nightmare!”
  • “ oh, dude, what the fuck?”
  • “ i’m trying really hard not to hype myself up for this.”
  • “ holy shit! that looks incredible.”
  • “ i’m just gonna go and guess - make a wild guess; s/he’s fucking dead.”
  • “ uh-uh. they’re always dead. horror rule number 45.”
  • “ now you can’t bitch about me talking too much.”
  • “ i like the car, very nice car.”
  • “ talking a lot, i’m getting a little nervous, i don’t know why.”
  • “ it’s fucking broad daylight. it’s just, woods fucking scare me… and mosquitoes.”
  • “ this is so fucking cool.”
  • “ okay, well, that’s not gonna work, is it? i suppose we can climb over.”
  • “ i don’t know why i always try the same things. i think i have a problem.”
  • “ okay, what would i do in this situation? i mean, i wouldn’t be in this situation because i’m a puss.”
  • “ we can’t enter the bushes.”
  • “ no this is where we came from. great, you’re a fucking genius.”
  • “ join us? no thank you, paper, but i appreciate the invite.”
  • “ bald man turn into a dead cow. what a mystery!”
  • “ oh, wow, now i see what it is.”
  • “ thank you for the gift, honey, oh my god, it’s so pretty.”
  • “ you know, when you see something like that, that’s generally like a good way to be like: you know what? is this bitch worth it?”
  • “ it’s all jokes. everyone calm down.”
  • “ yep, that’s me, all right.”
  • “ and we enter the point of no return.”
  • “ hey, we did it! high-five, bro.”
  • “ wow, haven’t you missed these moments?”
  • “ who closed the fucking door?”
  • “ that- that is another big warning sign.”
  • “ just so i feel safe, i’m gonna check if i can open it.”
  • “ all right, we can do this.”
  • “ is that- is that sad?”
  • “ okay, it’s fine. you know what? i’ve been in here before.”
  • “ it shouldn’t be any problem.”
  • “ what a lovely place.”
  • “ hey! microwaved… crows… my favorite. they taste… crunchy.”
  • “ why do i bother j– ueegh! ugh! ugh, close it! close it! ugh, disgusting!”
  • “ is there someone upstairs?”
  • “ i don’t like how defenseless i am.”
  • “ that’s some creepy fucking picture.”
  • “ what the fuck was that?”
  • “ i think we’re gonna have to go upstairs.”
  • “ i really didn’t wanna go upstairs, cause in every fucking horror movie ever, they die when they go upstairs.”
  • “ now, i’m not keen on dying, all right. not today at least.”
  • “ fuck, the shadow fucking scared me.”
  • “ jesus christ, i don’t like this.”
  • “ so you can make the stairs go upstairs? wow. that’s, uh… that’s a new one.”
  • “ this wasn’t here before, was it? … or was it? i don’t know.”
  • “ dude, i can fucking hear you.”
  • “ i go first.”
  • “ aw, dude, the food looks delicious.”
  • “ okay, sorry. my curiosity got the better of me.”
  • “ yeah, so don’t go in there.”
  • “ all right, you go first, my man.”
  • “ hey, good friend, you go first.”
  • “ your mom’s down here. that’s why it smells.”
  • “ and that’s my queue to get the fuck out. how about that?”
  • “ oh, i don’t like where this is going, not one fucking bit, i’m gonna be quite honest with you right now.”
  • “ ain’t no water killed anyone. unless lack of water counts.”
  • “ sorry, i’m on fucking edge.”
  • “ the faster we can get out of here, the faster i can go home.”
  • “ everything is fucking fine. AAH! jesus, we’re not fine!”
  • “ there’s no reason to be upset.”
  • “ i am a little bit upset.”
  • “ oh my god… oh my god, this is bad. this is very not good.”
  • “ am i crazy?”
  • “ okay, well, maybe that’s a good thing, i don’t know.”
  • “ i suppose we could technically go back, but…”
  • “ i don’t - i don’t feel very good.”
  • “ i would hang onto those bolt cutters if i were you.”
  • “ do not fucking jumpscare me, i swear to god…”
  • “ just- let’s go. let’s just go. we can catch up later..”
  • “ i guess– you know what? i said s/he would be dead, and i was wrong. and you know what? i want to apologize.”
  • “ hey, hey, hey, cables. not cables. anything but cables.”
  • “ why are y–? oh, god, what is that? what are those? they don’t look good.”
  • “ it’s a trap. it’s a trap!”
  • “ hey, look, my face is back. how about that?”
  • “ i don’t know what happened.”
  • “ you know when it’s tight corners, shit’s about to get fucked.”
  • “ let me guess, it’s locked, isn’t it? do you have the key?”
  • “ i don’t like this enthusiasm.”
  • “ hey, creepy dolls. A+, that’s just what i wanted right now.”
  • “ sorry, i’d rather play with dolls. i’m sorry, okay, i’m not afraid to admit that”
  • “ we’re fine, everything is great. this is great.”
  • “ what the fuck happened to the weather? i swear it was sunny a second ago.”
  • “ maybe time changed.”
  • “ a map. we got a map.”
  • “ oh, fuck this.”
  • “ okay, we’re starting to get health, which is not good, because that means we’re gonna get attacked.”
  • “ we can’t jump out the window.”
  • “ who the fuck did that?”
  • “ what do i do? i don’t wanna go down there.”
  • “ call for help.”
  • “ i don’t have anything to defend myself with.”
  • “ i’m not ready for this.”
  • “ oh, shit, s/he’s strong as shit!”
  • “ the fuck is wrong with you?!”
  • “ you crazy son of a bitch!”
  • “ chill out, man.”
  • “ can you just fuck off, man… fuck off.”
  • “ we can punish you other ways.”
  • “ can i slit her/his throat?”
  • “ i’m sorry, but where is the knife? i need to confirm the kill.”
  • “ i can’t fucking handle this.”
  • “ stop. just stop. just stop– oh no…”
  • “ get the fuck outta my way, you fucking bitch!”
  • “ that’s fucking right. survival of the fittest, motherfucker.”
  • “ i better get that phone call.”
Teacher Brendon Urie x reader student Part 1

Warning: Coursing, sexual daydreaming, smoking

Word count: Super long 1598 words

Part 2

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Come on y/n… first day of school… first day of SENIOR year and you’re already late.

I started going down the school stairs.

“1,2.1,2,1.2” I counted the stairs.

Ring Ring

“FUCK” I’m seriously fucked up now! I have English class. There’s a new teacher and I need him…her… it to like me. At least I need one teacher to like me.

“Good Morning cl-, “I heard the teacher said and sprinted inside the room shouting “I’m here, I’m here.”

I sat on a seat in the back as everybody laughed. When I looked up I saw… wow… how can I explain this.

I saw the fucking hottest man I could’ve ever seen in my life, holy shit he was hot. He looked about 25 years old. He had this big full lips that when kissing them they would feel like soft pillows; he has this big brown eyes who just couldn’t stop staring at me.




Why is he staring at me like that? I feel like I’m being undress with his eyes.

I turned to F/n who was sitting next to me and whispered “Why is he staring?” and she shrugged and answered “I don’t know but dude, when I came in the room earlier he was leaning against the desk and he has such a great ass!”  I couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

The teacher started to walk over to us and looking at me said “Sorry, what are you two laughing about?”

“Stuff” I responded and gained the death stare from f/n indicating that I’m passing the line.

“So you come in late, distracting the class and then you suddenly start laughing? This has come to a rough star.” He said. “Oh really? Sorry. Didn’t know that introducing yourself was such an important and difficult task mister.”

“Y/N shut up!” F/n

“Yeah you should listen to your friend more often” The teacher said.

He walked to the front of the class and I stared at his ass.

“So. Good morning class. My name is Brendon Urie, Mr. Urie for you guys and I will be your English teacher for this school year.”

I leaned over to f/n and whispered, “It looks like Mr.Urie does have a great ass.”, and we both started to giggle.


When the bell rang and all of the kids had already gone to their other classes, I got close to Mr. Urie’s desk.

“It seems that we started with the wrong foot.” I said smiling and extended my hand, “Hi Mr. Urie, my name is y/n nice to meet you.”

He looked up to me and I swear I literally I saw him blush which made me feel nervous.

Brendon… or Mr. Urie looked at me, looked at my hand and said “Uh I- I um. I think you- that is time for- I mean. You should go or you’ll be late.”

I looked at him furrowed my eyebrows, tilted my head. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth like he was going to say something but closed it.

I sighed and said “Mean. Not cool dude. See yah Mister.”


Ugh finally the end of the day.

I got out of detention and went to the parking lot to wait for someone to come pick me up.

Yeah I know first day of school and already detention. Yeah I don’t even remember what was the reason.

I sat down under a tree and got out my cigarettes.

Light it up and got out my book.


It was about 5:00 in the afternoon.

I walked out of my class whispering to myself, “Stupid, how can I be so stupid. I made a fool of myself in front of that girl.”

I opened the school doors.

When I was outside I saw a kid sitting down under a tree. The kid was smoking and reading a book.

I got closer and noticed it was the girl from earlier, Y/n I think.

I stood there staring at the back of the girl when she turned around.

“Oh shit” The cigarette fell from her mouth, and in the way burning her arm. “Ouch. Fuck”

I hurried to her side, grabbed her arm and asked “Are you ok?”

“Uh yeah I mean it burns but uh. Are you going to tell on me?”

“What?” I questioned.

“Like tell another teacher or the Principal that I was smoking in school property?”

“Oh. No, no I won’t.” I told her. She looked up at me. I was crouching next to her with her hand in my hand.

She stared at me.

I stared at her.

I looked to my side breaking contact with her eyes, I released her hand.

“So, why are you still here so late?”

“Well, some friends will come pick me up, but they are at college or at work so I have to wait.” She said smiling.

“Ok. If you want I can give you a ride.” I proposed.

“Oh. Well. I. Ok yeah sure.”

Why…? Why did I just do that?

I asked a student… I asked a kid to come with me in my car… Why?

Well, Brendon, because you think she’s hot.

I do?

I do.

Shut up Brendon!


What the fuck am I doing?!

What if he is a creepy hot rapist teacher? Ugh I need a drink.

I followed Mr.Urie  to his car. He unlocked the doors and I got in.

Ok this is awkward.

He started the car and I broke the silence asking, “So why are you suddenly nice?”

“Well, you were there all alone and look like you wanted to go home and… so yeah.”

Didn’t sound convincing enough.

“Why do you have college friends?” He asked.

“Well,” I said “When I was in ninth grade, I failed and so I had to repeated. I should be in college now.”

“Seriously? How old are you?” He asked looking at me surprised.

“Eyes on the road Mr. Urie!” I said making him laugh. “I’m 19.”

“Oh okay.” Was the only thing he said.


“She’s 19 Spence! 19! Meaning she is technically legal; I don’t know if that should be a good thing or a bad thing.”

After dropping Y/n at her house, I immediately called Spencer to come over to my apartment.

“She’s 19? Wow. Dude you’re screwed.”

“I know. Is that she is real pretty! You should see her! She’s just perfect!”

“Well Bren. I think you should wait. See if your feelings for her grow or if they stop.”

“You’re right.”

Xxxxxxxx 1 month after all these. Brendon’s POV xxxxxxX

I’m screwed.

My feelings for y/n are extremely big.

I can’t help it. Seriously. She is just so pretty; she has this dangerous thing that just make her look hotter.

Is the last class of the day, which means y/n is here. The kids are currently writing and essay and I’m looking at y/n. She looks so cute when she’s concentrated.

I’ve stared at her so many times that I have memorized her face and how she furrows her eyebrows and how she puts just the tip of her tongue out.

That tongue. With those lips.

I can’t help but imagine what I would do to her if she was mine.

If we were alone and I had the balls to do it, I would call her, grab her waist and pull her to me. I would kiss her lips so passionately.

Then I would lower my hands to place them on her perfect ass.

I would make her rap her legs on my waist.

I’ll take her to my desk and place her on it so she is laying down. I would rip her clothes off and would fuck her until she couldn’t walk. I would live hickeys all over her body.

Her neck, breasts, stomach, her thighs, her ass, I would live them everywhere.

Then I wou-

Ring Ring

I was woken up from my sexual dreams by the bell and all the kids got out of the class.

Except y/n.

She was standing in front of my desk with her essay in hand and she said “Mister. I hate this essay. I’m think I’m doing it all wrong. So. I was thinking if I could like stay behind and you could maybe help me?”

“Yeah sure. Of course. Just pull a chair and sit next to me.”

I gulped.

We went over the essay and it actually was pretty good. I don’t know why she wanted help.

She was sitting next to me. Again with her eyebrows knitted together, tip of her tongue out.

“Y/n” I spoke.

She looked up at me.

I reached over and placed my lips against hers.

At first neither of us were moving, but then I started making motion and she moved along with me. I got closer to her and placed one hand on her neck and the other on her cheek.

We both started moving pretty fast.

We got up from our chairs and she jumped to my desk. Without separating our lips, I got in between her legs and placed both my hands on her waist and she placed her hands one on my neck and the other on the back of my head pushing me closer.

I started grinding against her. Our tongues started fighting for intrusion.

At the same time, we both separated our lips.

We just stayed there, staring at each other’s eyes.

“Wow.” She said and I laughed.

Yeah. Wow.

Reasonable Doubt

Here it is. The start of a Law Firm AU, starring Reylo, Stormpilot, and the Resistance gang. This is my first shot at a modern AU, let me know what you think!


Opening statement draft, witness accounts, argument structure.

Opening statement draft, witness accounts, argument structure.

Over and over again she went through her very short, yet very daunting list, trying to map out a course of action as she stepped out of the heavy air of the subway station. It was one of her braver moves, trying to balance her case files in one arm and her coffee in the other, all while navigating New York’s unique pedestrian traffic. Still, she made it to the firm in one coffee stain-free piece, nudging the revolving door with her hip.

Immediately, she approached the front desk and ducked behind it, giving the the elderly receptionist a fond smile as she slipped fluidly out of her sneakers and into more office-appropriate pumps.

“Have a great day!” she called as she clacked her way to the elevators, sneakers half in her bag already. With trepidation, she pushed the button for her floor and tried her best to ignore the stares from the much older, much stiffer women in the elevator, impeccably dressed in pantsuits and rigid dresses.

Rey knew she looked every bit the part of the flustered little girl, fresh out of law school and desperate for a shot at anything other than research work for minor civil cases. Working at a firm as prestigious as hers (theirs) had given Rey hope that she might bypass the dreaded grunt work and get to manage criminal cases within a few months. But yet here she was, a year in and still writing up summaries for real lawyers to trash or scribble on.

The elevator stopped on her floor, not a third of the way up to the very top of the building, and Rey once again could not shake the feeling that the higher your stop was, the more you could look down on everyone else. At least, that’s what it felt like as she stepped out through the double doors.

Chin up, shoulders back, opening statement draft, witness accounts, argument structure.


She turned towards the warm, deep voice and smiled, “Finn, good morning!”

He cocked a grin and leaned over the top of his cubicle, which only came up to his shoulder when standing, “Is that for me?”

Rey shook the cup of coffee as much as she could without spilling it, “You wish.”

She settled into her cubicle, right behind (or next to? she could never figure out how they were supposed to be oriented) Finn and dove into her work. It was easy for her, given the nature of her workload, to forget she worked in one of the most beautiful buildings in the city. The real offices that made up the perimeter of the cubicles were nothing if not lavish, with fancy men and women who sat in fancy chairs at fancy wooden desks. She, however, was stuck here. With grunt work.

You’ve done this before, she would say to herself, no different than back home. Work your ass off, Kenobi.

About an hour into her work (which was advancing splendidly, if she did say so herself), she noticed him for the first time. The impossibly tall man seemed to be circling their floor languidly, and Rey would have assumed he was hopelessly lost if it weren’t for the expensive suit he wore. She saw him hover over Jessika’s desk and narrowed her focus.


Creepy made his way to the next section of cubicles, peering in and grimacing as he deemed appropriate for each inhabitant. She could see him a little better now, could make out the thick frame of the glasses he wore and how they rested on a nose that was slightly too big for the rest of his face. Just then, Creepy looked up. At her.


She immediately ducked back down to her work, noting internally that this was the guiltiest-looking thing she could have possibly done. She clacked away dutifully, still able to see the top of his head gliding to and from randomly selected victims.

Something wasn’t right. This wasn’t his floor, technically, and he wasn’t wearing a visitor’s badge.She looked up once more to see if his face would jog her memory. Maybe he did belong here, he was just in another department?

He was still there, and still looking directly at her cubicle. Rey pursed her lips and looked at her screen determinedly. Glasses, nose, freckles, ears, and… mouth. that was all she could clearly picture in her head to describe this visitor. If he was supposed to be here, however, why wasn’t anyone talking to him? She could see the top of his head from where she sat; he made rounds around the other side of the room, peering into cubicles and looking into offices.

Opening statement draft, witness accounts, argument structure. Focus, Kenobi.

And so she did. The first of her tasks was now done, and the clock on the wall read 2:30. She hit save one last time and rose from her chair, casually draping herself over the wall that separated her from Finn.

“Ready for lunch?” she asked, fiddling with a loose thread on the panel of his side of the “wall”.

“Just about,” he said, eyes on the screen, fingers flying on the keyboard, “get your things, peanut, I’ll be right there.”

Rey smiled wide. One of her favorite things about this job was Finn, if she was being completely honest. He was a kind, brilliant man, the only one to even bother helping her stay afloat during her first week at the firm. He was also the first person to get away with giving her such a sickening nickname. She grabbed her wallet and phone, meeting Finn in stride and walking to the elevator.

“Okay, so real talk,” she said, pushing the “down” button and leaning her back on the wall, “who is that creep going around the office?”

“Who do you mean?” Finn said, flipping through his phone absent-mindedly.

“Tall, dark, and sketchy,” she half-laughed, cocking her head in the direction of the cubicles he had been circling, “I’ve got half a mind to fill out a full report with Dameron,” she said as she rejoined Finn and faced the elevator, “I’d say that qualifies as reportable creepy behavior.”

Finn stilled beside her.

“What?” she bumped him with her shoulder, “I’ll let you report him, if you’re so desperate to go into Dameron’s office.”

Finn clapped her lightly on the back, “Oh, peanut, you can’t be serious.”

“Seriously, what?” she asked, watching the numbers above the elevator doors go steadily down towards their level.

“You can’t report him,” he said, as if explaining to a child why you can’t touch a hot stove, “That’s Kylo Ren. He’s-“

“A partner here.”

Rey froze at the sound of the tall, dark, and apparently extremely important man behind her. She felt that the fact that he’d managed to sneak up behind them making no noise proved her point about how creepy he was, but wisely chose not to mention it.

“Mr. Ren,” she began, vaguely wishing she’d actually thought of what to say before she began speaking. She turned to face him, “Please forgive me. I was only trying to say-“

“That I am- what was it? Tall, dark, and creepy?” He did not seem amused, and Rey wished she could stop looking at his mouth long enough to make a second attempt at an apology. His lips, much like his other features, were slightly too big for his face, and slightly lopsided.

“I’m so sorry,” was all she could get out, and if his gaze didn’t feel so invasive, she could have held it for longer than a few seconds.

“Rey is relatively new here, Mr. Ren,” Finn said, even though that was only true by the most lax standards, “I don’t believe she’s had the pleasure of meeting every partner in the firm.”

But there was only one part of Finn’s sentence that Kylo Ren seemed interested in.


He said it deep and slow, and Rey extended her hand. At the very least she could convince herself later that this was a proper introduction.

The elevator dinged behind them, and Kylo Ren breezed past her to push his level. Rey began to follow, but felt Finn pinch the back of her blouse. Ren’s eyes snapped down to Finn’s hand, and the corner of his mouth quirked upwards. The elevator doors began to close, and he disappeared with a barely audible, “Goodbye, Rey.”


“I’m so fucked.”

Rey poked at her food listlessly, opting instead to sip her tea.

“I’m not going to lie,” Finn said through a mouthful of salad, “that was pretty fucking horrible.”

“I hate that you’re so honest,” Rey grumbled, and scooped a spoonful of pasta into her mouth.

“Hey, on the plus side, his opinion of you can only get better from here, right?”

Rey glared at Finn, “How could I not know he was a partner, for Christ’s sake?”

Finn shrugged, tipping his drink back, “Don’t beat yourself up about it, seriously. The man never leaves the top floor, and he never ever works directly with us or anyone at our level. I wouldn’t be surprised if he and Dameron had never met face to face.”

“Yeah,” Rey liked this line of thinking, “he’ll probably forget my name by tomorrow, anyway.”


Kylo Ren did not forget her name, apparently.

Rey walked into the office the next day to find a huddle  of paralegals walking to Poe Dameron’s office, and she caught Finn’s eye. He waved her over, taking the coffee she offered with a smile.

“Thanks, peanut.”

“What’s going on?” she whispered, rounding the corner that would leave them directly in front of their boss’s office.

“No idea,” Finn sipped his coffee, “Cream and sugar, you’re an angel. Dameron sent an email at, like, two am this morning saying to meet at his office first thing in the morning. I’m guessing it’s important if it made him touch his work email before the sun was up.”

Rey frowned, and sipped her own coffee as she waited for the impromptu meeting to begin. Dameron was looking decidedly nervous, with an empty cup of coffee resting on the very edge of his desk. If he didn’t knock it over, one of her colleagues was bound to, and soon. She saw Dameron look right at her-no, right past her in what looked terribly close to fear.

Rey made to turn around before a large hand landed on her shoulder and held her still.



“Good morning, Mr. Ren,” she said in a voice that was much smaller that she would have liked. All eyes were on her, Dameron’s looking like they might pop out of his head any minute. Ren’s hand left her shoulder, and he continued to speak from his place just behind her shoulder.

“You’re all off your current cases. I will be introducing you to a team of very eager, very optimistic law students that will take over your tasks starting tomorrow.”

That alone had the team buzzing. Dameron looked straight at her, as if this were her fault somehow.

“Kenobi, Baur, Pava, Wexley, Connix,” he took a moment to, Rey thought, bask in their horrified expressions, “You will be part of my personal prep team. I expect you all in my conference room at 5 am tomorrow. Anyone planning not to be in there by that time can feel free to clean out their desks now.”

Rey practically jumped out of her skin when she felt Ren’s hand on the small of her back, light and fleeting as it was. With no further explanation, Ren made his way out of their floor, leaving Dameron to gawk at him and stutter as to how to continue with business.

“Ok, everyone,” he finally said, “Rey, Kaydel, Temmin, Finn, Jessika, go ahead and wait for me here while I get everyone else settled. Ren should be sending the interns up any minute, let me get them….” he seemed to struggle for a bit, “settled.”

With that, he walked out of the room, shutting the door behind them and letting the five very confused amateurs to stare at each other in confusion. Aside from Finn, Rey didn’t really know any of these people. She knew Connix and Pava were the only other women in her entire floor, and she vaguely wondered why she had not taken the time to get to know them a little better. She found it a bit interesting that Ren had picked all of the women on the floor to be a part of this team- pleasantly surprising, but surprising nonetheless.

Carrying that thought in mind, Rey inched closer to Pava, who not only seemed less… delicate, than Connix, but she heard she was a pleasant person.

“So,” Rey began, wincing at her socializing skills, “that was weird right? It wasn’t just me?”

Pava looked up, gave Rey a very deliberate once-over, “Jessika,” she said, extending a very firm hand for Rey to shake, “I mean, I don’t think I expected anything else from the mysterious ‘Kylo Ren’.”

“I wonder what this case will be,” Rey continued, sipping her coffee and leaning in to Jessika, “doesn’t everyone above floor fifty take criminal cases?”

“Oh, not just criminal,” Jessika said, cracking a knuckle, “I hear they only do the most slippery stuff. Homicide, human trafficking, drug rings, the whole nine yards.”

It was then that Rey remembered exactly who she worked for. This was a private firm, and Kylo Ren was most definitely not a state attorney. This was a building full to the brim with defense attorneys. Very, very expensive defense attorneys.


Jessika almost laughed, “There you go. If you have any bit of your conscience left, now is the time to get rid of it.”

Rey groaned, “What are the chances that we’ll be defending someone who was framed?”

The smile on Jessika’s face got wider than it should have been able to, “People who’ve been framed can’t afford these guys. My guess is our jobs are going to depend on us being able to avoid sending a very guilty person to prison.”

Just at that word, Connix slid into the conversation, “You know, it’s somehow less exhausting than defending the innocent, or trying to persecute the guilty. I’m Kaydel Ko, by the way.”

Rey shook her hand, taking note of the delicate pearl bracelet on her dainty wrist, “Rey.”

“I’ve heard of you,” Kaydel replied, pointing lightly in Rey’s direction, “You’re that genius student from Ach-To, aren’t you?”

Rey nodded, “I’d say ‘genius’ is a largely undeserved description but I did go to Ach-To.”

Kaydel seemed to light up from within, “Shut the fuck up.” That made Jessika look up, with an expression that blatantly betrayed how impressed she was with their new conversation participant.

“What?” Jessika asked through a chuckle.

“I did my undergrad thesis on you,” Kaydel said, smiling wide, “you are literally the reason why I went into law.”

Rey took her in with a smile and a soft ‘thank you’. She didn’t seem extremely young, but it was shocking that Ren had chosen a girl fresh out of law school for this project.

“No shit, Rey Kenobi,” a tall, broad man (Wexley, she remembered), said, joining their group along with Finn, “Temmin Wexley, pleasure.”

Rey shook his hand with a smile. Finn grinned at her from across the circle they had formed, and she felt a strange optimism at the thought of starting this project.


The rest of Rey’s day flew by in a blur, explaining her many ongoing projects to wide-eyed interns that suddenly seemed much, much younger than she had been when she began law school. They seemed to catch on quickly enough, but she later found she had not been the only one to hand Poe a backup of all their notes, just in case.

They had all ended up in a nearby bar at Wexley’s suggestion that they bond before beginning this sure to be “traumatic” experience.

“And here’s to Rey,” Temmin said a little too loudly, raising his third shot in the past two hours, “You’re going to need luck to take on that creep Kylo.”

They all drank, and it was only after the burn in her throat lessened that Rey said, “Wait, what? Why will I need luck?”

Jessika finished sucking on her lime wedge with a loud pop, “Because he wants to fuck you.”

Finn choked on his beer, “He what? Since when?”

“Since never!” Rey nearly shrieked, reaching for a glass of water, “He hates me. Honestly. He basically caught me insulting him yesterday.”

“Maybe that’s his kink,” Kaydel said sleepily, closing her eyes and resting her head on Jessika’s shoulder. Jessika smiled and cocked her eyebrow at Rey.

“That,” Rey said, “is so gross.”

Finn laughed, “We’re all joking, though, right?”

Wexley roared with laughter.


The next morning, Rey arrived at 4:30 to find that Kaydel was already setting up coffee for everyone. As it turned out, Wexley’s idea to bond the night before had been an excellent one, given the sweet smile Kaydel greeted her with.

Rey had discovered that Wexley was the oldest among them at 32, Kaydel the youngest at 25. She found out that Jessika had a real life pilot’s license, Kaydel could sing, and Wexley made most of his rent money playing online poker on the weekends. They were a fine bunch, and she hoped the overflow of energy in their group would offset the misery Ren was sure to bring down on them.

“You are a lifesaver, Ko,” she said, snatching up a cup of coffee, “You do know he has no intention of letting us go home before midnight, right?”

Kaydel smiled at the nickname, “I say, bring it on. He picked the only three women in the entire ‘freshmen class’, and I plan on sending him back to his higher-ups with his jaw on the floor.”

Rey liked Kaydel. Rey really, really liked Kaydel.

Finn was next to arrive, followed by Wexley, both men in offensively good moods for people in an office building before the sun came up. Jessika was the last to arrive, greeting Kaydel with a soft grunt and grabbing two cups of coffee.

“Not a morning person, Pava?” Wexley called in a loud voice. A five pm voice, Rey thought, not a five am voice.”

“Not a hangover person, Wexley,” she groaned back.

They all heard the elevator’s ding beyond the conference room, and the table fell silent. Jessika banged her against the table a couple of times before straightening in his chair. Rey looked over to Kaydel and watched her silently mouth the words three, two, one

The door swung open right on cue, and Rey got a reminder of just how big this man was.  He took up the entire door frame, and only a few inches spared him from having to duck to enter the room. His eyes locked on her as he shrugged off his coat, and Rey pursed her lips. He didn’t shift his gaze as he silently removed his gloves and scarf.

Wexley gave Rey a very obvious See? stare.

“This is not play time,” were Ren’s first words, “if you are not prepared to dedicate yourself to this project, I have no use for you.”

Rey noticed Kaydel gathering up the courage to speak, “May I ask what this project is, Mr. Ren?”

“Connix, right?” she nodded, “I’m sure you’ve all heard of the mass shooting at the Hosnian Council Chambers. We will be representing the defendant in that case.”

So much for a clean conscience, Rey thought bitterly.

“Baur,” Ren said sharply, “Give us the details of this case.”

Rey felt a twinge of pride when Finn responded without missing a beat, “On the seventeenth last month at approximately 9 a.m., the Hosnian Council gathered to vote on public issues facing their community. The most controversial issue at hand was the financial funding currently being provided to The Resistance, a community outreach program that many claimed wasted resources on… less desirable community members. The shooter infiltrated council chambers through unknown means, set off small explosions meant to disable automatic doors, and opened fire on the council. Eighteen dead, thirty-five more injured, six in critical condition at D’Qar Medical Center the last I heard.”

“Pava, summary on the defendant,” Ren said, turning to train his eyes on Rey.

“Armitage Hux,” Pava began in a hard, unwavering voice, “aged thirty-three, Chief Operational Officer at First Order Solutions, the development firm based on the west side of town. Graduated summa cum laude from the naval academy there, served five years before beginning with First Order. Master’s in business administration and a PhD in business analytics, so technically ‘Dr. Hux’,” she winked at Kaydel, “He’s a model citizen, really…”

Jessika continued, but Rey found it difficult to train her eyes on her colleague when Ren would not stop staring. He was certainly not embarrassed to have her see him, merely raising an eyebrow when she dared meet his eyes.

“What all of this means,” Ren interrupted, ignoring Jessika’s venomous look, “is that this will not be easy. I have had dossiers prepared for all of you, and you’ll see the prosecution’s evidence is substantial. Evidence of premeditation, security camera footage, plans found in his home, the list goes on and on.”

He locked eyes with her again, “Let’s get started.”


The day unfolded very similarly to what Rey had imagined; it swept by in a flurry of phone calls, emails, second, and third and fourth revisions of the same document. Somehow, Kaydel managed to handle her workload and keep all of them properly caffeinated, and Rey made a mental note to buy her a drink later.

They had not been assigned desks, as she had expected, but rather they all sat a few seats apart around an oval table that took up the majority of their conference room. Ren came and went sporadically, sometimes bringing actual instructions, other times simply making a lap around the table and peering over their shoulders.

“I’m calling it,” Wexley said, making Jessika jump, “it’s been over five hours, we’re legally entitled to a lunch break.”

Rey didn’t look up from the police report she was highlighting, “He’ll probably make us order in, Wex. No leaving the building for us.”

When no one replied to her comment, Rey abandoned her work and straightened up-

-to see Kylo Ren standing at the door.


Ren held up his hand, and Rey instinctively snapped her mouth shut. “You have an hour for lunch, which you may take in the dining hall downstairs or outside, whichever you prefer. Your time starts now, I expect all of you back here on time to discuss your official assignments.”

The room immediately filled with the shuffling noise of people gathering their belongings, and Rey grabbed her bag as quickly as she could. She was almost out of the door, opening her mouth to speak to Jessika, when he called her back.

“Kenobi. A moment, please.”

Jessika brushed her hand against Rey’s wrist, “Hey, I’ll text you where we are and order you something.” She said it a little too loudly, as if to remind Ren that Rey was also entitled to her full lunch break. Rey watched her new friends leave and turned to face Ren in defeat.

“Mr. Ren, I am so sorry, that comment was-“

“I want to offer you an opportunity, Kenobi,” he interrupted smoothly. She must not have looked very responsive, because he continued, “I’ve seen the work you do, and I want to start handing you more responsibility.”

Rey found her tongue, “With all due respect, Mr. Ren, I’ve-“

“Call me Kylo,” he interrupted again, and it took all of Rey’s self-control not to storm out of the conference room.

“I’m not comfortable with that,” she said, willing as much steel into her gaze as she could muster, “Mr. Ren, as I was saying, I’ve worked under you for half a day. I very much doubt I deserve any sort of special consideration.”

He stepped closer to her, and she resisted the urge to take a step back. She could see exactly how many moles were on his face from this distance, as well as the faint white scar that ran from under the right side of his jaw and diagonally across his face to his nose.

“Then allow me to rephrase,” he said in a low voice that made her stomach drop, “I’m not offering. I’m ordering.”

Rey felt her jaw set. Had he gotten closer…? The distance between them was borderline inappropriate. Rey swallowed thickly, “Yes, sir.”

Before she could turn to leave, Rey felt his finger under her chin. He tilted her face up to meet his eyes (who had the nerve to be this fucking tall?), “Good girl.”

With that, he was gone. Rey stood rooted to the spot, jaw hanging in disbelief and rage boiling underneath her skin. Three bloody women in the entire entry level and he dared treat her like this?

Fuming and mumbling, she exited the conference room, slamming the door shut for no one’s benefit but her own.


When she finally made it to the restaurant the rest of the team had chosen, Jessika greeted her with a burger, a shrug, and a “You look like a chick who can really eat.”

So she did. Rey finished her meal with little conversation, staring down at her food as she considered her options. She doubted she had a case for sexual harassment, or even inappropriate behavior, and yet the idea of enduring more encounters like this one in order to amass evidence made her sick.

On the way back to the firm, Kaydel hung back to talk to her.

“So,” she said lightly, holding Rey’s elbow and stopping to look both ways across the street, “what did he want?”

Rey shrugged and began walking again, “He wants to give me more responsibility on the case.”

“That’s great!” Kaydel’s smiled slipped off her face at the sight of Rey’s expression, “That’s not great. Why’s that not great?”

“I think Wex was right about him,” Rey said in a low, vicious voice.

“He’s a creep,” Kaydel supplied. When Rey nodded, she continued, “Did he come on to you, or something?”

Rey pushed the door open for Kaydel and stepped in behind her, “No, no, nothing like that. At least, I don’t think so. He’s just such a-“

“Condescending asshole?”

They looked up to find Jessika at the elevators, holding the door open for them. “Told the guys we’d catch up,” she explained.

Kaydel beamed and practically ran into the elevator, with Rey trailing behind. She pretended not to notice the way Kaydel brushed her hand against Jessika’s. Everyone knew about Pava, but Rey had a feeling Kaydel was much newer to whatever was going on between them.

“He basically ordered me to take the spot,” Rey’s lip curled in disgust, “he called me a ‘good girl’.”

Kaydel’s face scrunched up immediately, as if the water she was drinking were filled with pure lemon juice, “Oh, that’s gross. That’s… really gross.”

“But I can’t quit, can I?” Rey continued, keeping her eyes on the numbers that kept rising above the door, “I’d be an idiot to pass up something like this. I could practically glide into any firm I wanted after this.”

“But you’d have to deal with a sexist asshole trying to feel you up every day,” Jessika drawled, picking at a spot under her nail, “and that’s no fun either.”

They exited the elevator in silence, with Kaydel leading a few steps ahead of them.

She knew Ren was an asshole. Everyone knew that. But was she really going to let the first business-formal asshole she met ruin her career? Rey could bet her tiny apartment that an opportunity like this rarely, if ever, presented itself to someone like her. If he wanted to give it to her because he wanted to fuck her, that was his prerogative. She’d just have to make the absolute most out of the situation. It didn’t change the fact that she’d rather jump off their floor than sleep with Kylo fucking Ren. Nothing would ever change that. So why not take advantage of men’s flightiness and get ahead?

Rey turned slightly to Jessika and whispered, “I’m doing it.”

She smiled and shoved her playfully, “Good girl.”

envyvial-remade-deactivated2017  asked:

Not exactly a request ; how do you think the Marines get along with the warlords ? They've probably had to interact with them and hold meetings before - what goes down ? How do the Marines react ? What does Jerry do ?

IT’S ABOUT TIME I GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD ‘CAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS (I’m doing this one because I’m a little uninspired right now so cRACK IT IS THEN)

Alright, so Shichibukai meetings doesn’t happen frequently at all! It takes place once or twice every few months, and the talks are just pirate affairs and some Grand Line gossips + info the World Government wants from them at the time. Good luck in getting them to talk lmao

They are usually held at Mariejois or whatever government center because c’mon, as if you want to let them into the HQ and reveal your weaknesses  - plus, the rooms at the summit are big, spacious, and excellent services to cater to these scary pirates! Buuut despite the security risks, some are held in the HQ as shown in the anime, and obviously I’m doing those because I’m trash it’s funnier.

I’d say that these people are mature in their own rights, though it won’t stop Doflamingo them from wrecking havoc, haha.   

Marine HQ Shenanigans ft. Shichibukai:

  • As a Warlord, you have to attend at least one meeting every few months in order for your contract to be valid. This goes as well as you can expect (not) - it’s a shock if more than one of them shows up usually. But there’s a day where everyone is present and it’s c h a o s
  • None of them uses doors like normal people. None. Doflamingo, Moriah, Hancock, Jinbe and Crocodile likes to enter through the tall windows and balconies. Jinbe in particular enjoys sliding in on a huge wave of water.
  • Jinbe why
  • On the other hand, no one is sure of how Mihawk and Kuma arrives since they always are the earliest ones?
  • It starts off with Sengoku addressing his audience. Everyone quiets down (to an extend). It seems peaceful at first.
  • Then with just the barest hint of movement, you see someone’s cup across the table twitch. It slooooowly, carefully slides in one direction. Towards Doflamingo. His index finger is raised barely a centimeter above the table stop, and his grin widens to no one’s suspicion. 
  • Until Tsuru gently places two of her fingers to his arm and looks at him in the eye.
  • Garp TOTALLY brings crackers and snacks to the room to share. Sengoku want to complain, but he’s already reaching for one dammit Sengoku
  • Mihawk rests his legs on the table, boots and all. Hancock keeps her head tilted up to the ceiling throughout the whole thing like a boss. Why?Because scrubs like you don’t deserve her attention.
  • Jinbe is enjoying his tea peacefully. 
  • Moriah actually finds the meeting so boring that he starts bringing his sewing kit to work on his projects. And he throws insults without pausing in his cross-stitching, stopping to occasionally scratch his tiny shadow bats behind their ears. He also terrifies some recruits into being his personal fabric stand.
  • To the side, you have Kuma and Kizaru casually stacking up rice crackers with Garp at their place. Kizaru started it and somehow got Kuma to do it. Aokiji joins in occasionally. 
  • At this point nobody is paying attention. Not even the marines except for the responsible ones.
  • Vice-Admiral Tsuru peels persimmons and oranges sometimes. Doflamingo tried to sneak one when she just. Slaps his hand away again like oh no you don’t. You wait until I’m finished.
  • Hancock sips wine in her glass made out of a skull and she stares Momonga down. The Vice-Admiral isn’t sure how he should feel about this, but he narrows his eyes in return.
  • I forgot to mention that Doflamingo sits everywhere but the chair. Hung up on the ceiling? Sure. On the floor? Absolutely. He even plops down right in the middle of the table like no one’s business and starts gleefully riling up people left and right. Doffy get your pink ass off the table jesus christ
  • The closest thing he does is to perch on the backrest of the chair and that only happens when he’s feeling extra bored, or when Tsuru gives him a look.
  • Garp and Aokiji are now both asleep, but Kuma and Kizaru continues stacking crackers on them. For some reason Jerry from Division 18 is participating with them. The current record of crackers is 47.
  • Tbh all of the Warlords dislike each other to an extend but they seem to have a sort of, tho a bit grudgingly camaraderie together?
  • Hancock and Mihawk always share those really annoyed/unimpressed looks whenever someone says something stupid and they just, glance at each other from across the room. They’ve bonded over this. Jinbe joins in occasionally.
  • The same happens with Akainu and Kizaru (Sakazuki’s 100% done look is hilarious and only Borsalino can tell)
  • Our resident pink flamingo and Crocodile - back when he was a warlord - starts throwing shade at each other. Crocodile does it with class. But both of them can roast people hard when they do it together rarely.
  • I think I saw this somewhere but one time Crocodile got so absolutely fuckin’ done with Doffy’s harassment, he just turns into sand. Like, just a pile of sand on the floor. Because “fuck you birdbrain I’m done with your pink feathery shit”
  • (Kuzan briefly goes ‘I guess that works pretty well’ and you can see him contemplating the idea. And Sakazuki just glares at him like Kuzan don’t you d a r e.)
  • But Doflamingo just crouches down and starts tracing his fingers into his sand. Just running through them and making flirty creepy remarks like “Ooh what’s this? What parts am I touching now I bet you like that huh yeah I bet you’re enjoying this as much as I do
  • The meeting room is wrecked hard that day. Someone please restrain Sengoku.
  • There’s a running joke amongst the lower ranked marines that carrying holy items can protect you from Moriah. It starts with the recruits, carrying tiny things like a cross or wiping yourself with garlic before they step into the meeting room (to deliver documents I guess)
  • Then it begins to show on the various marines: Stitches sewn into crosses on uniforms, murmuring prayers under their breathes, and having garlic everywhere on them. It escalates into ridiculous attempts in order to keep something holy on them at all times. 
  • Needless to say, Moriah isn’t amused. 
  • Kuma actually joined in because everyone sees him carrying two bibles and placing one between him and Moriah during the meeting. Moriah is so offended that he threatened complains about it with increasingly frequency meetings after meetings.
  • THEN ONE DAY, the complaining and everyone’s discussion died down as they watched Mihawk, of all people, slowly unclasped the cross around his neck and carefully placed it on the table. He slides it in a way that it faces the shadow man, murmuring a prayer, and nods at Moriah.
  • The meeting room is destroyed again.
  • Aaand finally, when Doffy gets extra bored, he pick-pockets Moriah’s yarn and starts knitting with his fingers. He once made like a ten foot long scarf underneath the table before the other Warlord finds out.

I feel like these are a bit lackluster but take it I’m so tired.Thanks for waiting! I’ll include the newer warlords and more things next time since this is getting way too long.

Like that behaviour is unhealthy and creepy;
“You hurt my feelings so I’m gonna spy on you and your daughter and reclaim any gifts you’ve ever received from us, and I’m gonna have a guy secretly following you around and I’m gonna monologue about how ANGRY I am at you. ”

… That’s what creepy ‘nice guys’ do after a break up with a girl. Chill the fuck out Percy.

omegle ; cth : chapter one

I finally understand how to use this, so here goes nothing.

You’re chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like twenty øne piløts and All Time Low.

Stranger: hellooo

You: Hihi

Stranger: I don’t want to seem creepy but what gender am i talking to?

You: I’m a girl haha. And it’s not creepy, don’t worry!

Stranger: oh good! now, how are you?

You: I could be better, honestly.

Stranger: what happened?

Stranger: you still there?

You: Yeah sorry. Just thinking. But um, my boyfriend broke up with me.

Stranger: WHERE IS HE


You: Aw, you’re cute. But that’s not needed.

Stranger: i tend to be sometimes

You: Oh, he’s cocky too?

Stranger: maybe ;)

You: :o

Stranger: ok but listennnnn, i gots to goo

You: No! We didn’t get to talk about the fact that All Time Low is touring with Waterparks!

Stranger: what’s waterparks?

You: NO


Stranger: omg wait what did i do


Stranger: who

You: Waterparks. It’s a band.

Stranger: ohhh lol. I’ll listen to them. also, just curious, but, what’s your name?

You: Cameron. Yours?

Stranger: calum. how ‘bout we meet again but under our names ?

Stranger: like, ‘cameron and calum’

You: I like that idea. I’ll speak to you next time, then! Bye!

You have disconnected.