am i blonde

5

ask and I shall answer — this is Yuuei’s unicorn daughter now ♫

this guy realllllly does not like being called short.

youtube

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS

  • me, an actual bisexual: I'm excited about this one character being confirmed bi because it's nice to have fictional characters I can relate to, even if their sexuality isn't a big deal in their story.
  • some anti-sjw demon on tumblr dot com: WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT GENDER AND SEXUALITY WITH YOU PEOPLE???!1! PC CULTURE IS RUINING FILM!!!1!11! MOVIES WERE BETTER WHEN THEY WERE ALL ABOUT STRAIGHT MEN

Reading about Alexander the Great is so much more fun if you add ‘no homo’ to the end of his gayest exploits:

  • “yo, hephaestion, you know who was totally rad? achilles. i’m gonna constantly publicly compare myself to him, so you should totally do the same with his bud patroclus! i mean, some of the greatest minds of our time have written about how they were totally doin’ it, but no homo!”
  • “heey, hephaestion! ya know how we were talking about good ol’ achilles and his boy patroclus? well how 'bout we take a detour to troy to pay tribute at their tombs and then maybe we can oil each other up and run naked down a beach ha ha no homo!”
  • “the dorians? oh yeah, us macedonians are definitely related to the dorians. a lot of greeks credit the dorians with introducing man-on-man sex to greece, it was a behavior that was even expected of their ruling class … no homo.”
  • “hey, bagoas, nice dancing. you know what wouldn’t be gay? if we made out. right here. everyone wants it. come on, bro, no homo.”
  • “what’s that?” “oh nothing, hephaestion. just a letter from that delightful fellow we met living in a barrel, diogenes of sinope. it’s really nothing … here’s something about me 'yielding’ to your thighs … uh, no homo …”
  • “hey, hephaestion, let’s get married together! no homo!”
  • “yo, hephaestion, you know what totally wouldn’t be gay? if you died and i wept over your corpse for a day straight until i had to be dragged away and maybe i wouldn’t eat for a whole two days cause i was too busy sobbing and then i spent anywhere from 10,000 to 12,000 talents, which is like a billion dollars, on funerary shit and i could extinguish that sacred flame that’s only supposed to be extinguished upon the death of the great king but whatever i mean you too are alexander and i could try to get you deified and then maybe the grief caused by your death could contribute to my declining mental and physical health over the next eight months until i also died ha ha NO HOMO!”