am i allowed to put this in the

To date, I’ve only seen five posts from people on the left condemning the Dλke March incident as absurd, offensive, and unhelpful, and four of those people have been Palestinian. 

This once again confirms my belief that if Jews and Palestinians were to jettison their extremist, cut off outside influencers using the conflict as a proxy for their bigotries (other Arab states, Christian Zionists, etc.), and put a real focus on combatting our own biases, that we could actually one day be each other’s best allies.

I am so fucking tired of being in the middle of a #discourse that never concedes a reality where the other side can be comprised of nuanced, complex, growing people. How could it when we’ve never even been allowed to actually fucking talk to each other? 

Dear mark,
I have been watching you for about 5 years now. (That sounds very creepy when you say it out loud but you know what I mean) you have been a welcomed constant in my ever shifting life. When the world is spiraling out of my control you are always there to allow me to sit down, and watch you play a game, or just listen to your voice in a vlog. No matter what it is you’re always there for me. Though ive never met you in person, or even spoken to you, i feel like ive known you my whole life. When I was a sun dried starfish washed up on a beach, you picked me up and tossed me into a welcoming ocean of a community that allowed me to heal and continue to grow and change as a person. And i thank you for that. I thank you for being able to put a smile on my face with the slightest of ease, and being able to make me feel like i am important in this world when for a while I didn’t. I thank you for being your goofy, loving, and caring self. Never forget that. And I hope you have the best birthday one could have!
Sincerely- a great full starfish, Mark Carey
@markiplier

Foiled!

Today I got to go on one of our runs to more rural shelters to help relieve overcrowding there. We ended up bringing back 21 kittens and 10 dogs. So fun day. But this morning, while I was getting stuff together in preparation for the 90 minute drive…. This happened.

Excuse you Tiniest Opossum, but you are NOT allowed to escape through the front bars of the cat carrier we were housing you in. I’m going to put you back.

“NO!”

I am going to catch you and put you back and you have no say in this matter.

“NO!”

Catching you and putting you back now.

“NOOOOOO!”

Aaaand back you go. Let go of the purple towel and go in the cardboard box.

“Noooooooooooo!”

the signs feeling intense anger

Every sign can reach the stage when the mind just ‘quits’, no matter how laid back they are. check mars and moon!


Aries: She feels no anger. She feels rage. The intensity, the strong, sometimes short but intense feeling of emotions was something she was familiar with, but what she did hate was the feeling of anger she could mostly never shake off. It was always there with her, she let her rage out and it seemed like an exploding volcano. All she saw was red, there was too much energy flowing inside her bones that she could not get rid off and so she let out her anger, and she did not care who would see her like that. ‘I am fire and you will get burned.’

Taurus: He was angry. Angry with the world, angry with this unsteadiness, angry with the fact, that he could not do anything to stop the current situation. Long, slim hands pulled him out of his nest and threw him hard on the ground. He flinched as a cold breeze came and took away all his warmth. “No, do not take everything away from me!!”, he screamed but the dark did not listen. Gritting his teeth he felt his temper raging, long horns started to grow out of his head and he shook his head, trying to get rid of the feeling of losing himself. 

Gemini: Emotions were an construct. A map with a thousand of points, connected with each other by a small, small string. No there was a knot in the strings, there and there was nothing else he could do to untie them, to clear up this mess in his head. It was like the road for his thoughts was blocked and now everything just piled up. Irritated he shook his head, even communicating was hard and the knot in his head slowly transformed in his whole body. Then his mind just quit. Rash action. 

Cancer: She could not tame herself anymore, she got hotheaded again and knew the will easily fall in an tantrum again. Followed by this feeling of guilt: why me? Why this unfairness? Why the need to upset others and be upset? In the end a wave of intensity and sadness washed her away before she could get a hold of herself again. And getting back to the surface after being pulled down by the ocean would cost her a lot strength. Strength and a long time of swimming through these endless waters. 

Leo: “I do not like this”. It all started with the feeling of unfairness, adding a a little bit of hurt to the shattered self that lay on the ground. “I cannot let them now I am hurt! I will not allow them to touch me gain that deeply.” She opened her mouth and showed her long, sharp fangs. She roared. It was loud and vibrant. Whetting her claws she narrowed her yellow, fiery eyes. “Pray for yourself”, she whispered before sprinting to her prey. 

Virgo: The head was a like a working space. There were many files and papers he read, worked with, analysed, only to put them into a new file that was stored somewhere in his office. “Wh- what is this?” This certain piece of paper  was not like the others. Unreadable. Impossible to put somewhere, therefore it was just out of order. “I..I have the control..”, he said, his hands starting to shake. “I..I have the control over it…I have the control..”, he repeated unsteady before standing up and shredding the unknown paper. He started breathing hysterically, what was that? This brooding fear inside of him? “Control…”, he said one last time before shattering the mirror and flipping his precious work desk. 

Libra: These thoughts. These worries. These fears. She did not know what to do. How was she supposed to handle? “It is their fault!!”, she cried. But at the same time is was her own fault. She cried quietly, feeling like she wanted to let everything out, but couldn’t reveal herself, because everyone next door was sleeping. She did not want to disturb them with the mess of feelings. “I will ignore it. Swallow it.” But it was far too much to keep on pretending. She felt like being on fire, but she still smiled. A poisonous, deadly smile. Everyone should feel her poison sting inside their veins. 

Scorpio: His anger is intense. It’s like a thunderstorm with roaring thunder inside of him. His heart is beating and he wants to destroy, cry and scream. He wants to let out his darkest thoughts, he wants the world to feel his pain, transformed out of the bitterness. But in the end, he remains silent and waits till everyone left. He could hurt anyone right now, but he know it’ll be no good, knowing that he will destroy for sure if he demonstrates his power. So he balls his fists and closes his door. Outside of his bedroom you can her the thunder roaring. 

Sagittarius: ‘Do not stop me’, was all she thought. These feelings were caging her. No matter what she did to distract herself, the anger would haunt her after all, so the minute it became to much she snapped. She could be free spirited and joyous but deep emotions were something completely different, especially anger. Because she was not only the laughter of joy but indeed the stomp of a herd of wild horses swirling up dust as they made their way through the steppe. There was raw force and energy inside of her and that needed to get out, now. 

Capricorn: Get a hold of yourself. Get a hold of yourself. Now. But there was no way to get himself under control. There was this dam inside of his head that stopped this enormous river of feelings of overflowing. Now, there were little cracks in the once so strong concrete and each of them plainly showed the nerves he lost from time to time. He sat at his desk, swallowed and closed his eyes. Suddenly, the dam broke. The raging float of dark water swallowed him completely. 

Aquarius: She saw it often on other people. Anger. She watched them live it out, stomping with their feet, raging, screaming, shouting. Now? She felt it herself. “I know this, this familiar”, she explained to herself. But familiar did not mean good. She knew her temper tantrums for when she was young. She knew that destructiveness could be a part of it. “I do not want that. I will not.” Suddenly a dark, whispering voice talked to her: “You do not choose to be out of touch. You are not your own master.” She widened her eyes anxiously. And suddenly, it was like she was 7 again. 

Pisces: Anger? Anger, he felt it so deeply, anger and the need to cry out of frustration, he did not want to feel it anymore, the worst thing that ate him alive right now. So he grew bitter. “I can turn nasty”, he thought. “I will be the worst if you make me feel this again.” And so he did. So he became the feeling of anger and bitterness himself. As he looked in the mirror he couldn’t recognize himself anymore. Dark, red eyes starred at him, tears flowing. 

Reminders for myself:

I am allowed to occupy space. If someone has a problem with me merely existing, that is their problem not mine. That person is the one who needs to work out their emotions. I do not have to make myself small for the comfort of someone else.

I am allowed to recover. Anyone who tears me down for recovering is not someone I want around me. The people I want around me will celebrate my recovery with me.

I am allowed to be comfortable. I do not have to put someone else’s comfort before mine, especially when it comes to my health. I do not have to stay silent when someone makes me feel uncomfortable.

I am allowed to put myself first.

The possibility of Otayuri becoming canon

So in this post-Welcome to the Madness daze and with the information that has been released today, I would like to do some speculation about the character dynamic between Yurio and Otabek and the possible implications for this ship to become canon. I have already written a bit about this in a comment to another post here, but I would like to elaborate.

Again, this is just me throwing around ideas, with a good dose of wishful thinking.

-          Otabek enters the story quite late as a character. He is there from the beginning but we only get to see him interact with the others from episode 10 onwards. The focal point becomes what his relation is to Yuri. He whisks him away on his motorcycle, takes him to one of the most beautiful vistas in the city and then casually drops how he has admired him for the past five years. Then he offers Yuri his friendship, which has apparently never occurred in Yuri’s life before, they go for a coffee and Mari is stunned to see Yuri normally interact with another human being for a change. It’s up to you to ignore any fond gazes during this scene. What’s worth mentioning is that Yuri seems kind of perplexed by this whole thing. The “eyes of a soldier” line gets to him, because it is probably the first time someone sees him for who he wants to be.

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I think Lardo lets Tango watch her mix paint because she once noticed him watching paint-mixing stim vids on his phone.

Like, one day she is walking through the Haus and everything is quiet, which is weird. Then, she notices Tango just chilling on the couch. Then she really confused because it’s quiet and Tango is there and usually you can’t have one with the other. So, she goes over and peeks over his shoulder and he’s scrolling through a paint-mixing stim account on instagram, taking the time to watch the entire video before moving on. There’s the faint sound of the pallet knife sometimes if the colours really attract his attention and he taps to turn on the sound, but, other than that, everything about him is silent.

That’s when Lardo gets an idea. She isn’t busy right now, so she runs up and gets a couple of her tubes of cheap paints (acrylic, oil, some pigmenting, a giant tube of white paint, some paint thinner, ect.), a couple pallet knives, and some glitter. She comes back down and taps on Tango’s head. “Follow me, taddy,” she says, nodding to the door.

Of course he follows, Lardo is mama duck, but that doesn’t mean he does it without question. With slipping his phone in his pocket, the inquiries start a-coming. “Where are we going? What’s in that bag? When did you get home? Am I in trouble? I thought we were allowed to be there if the door was unlocked?? What’s that clanking coming from your bag? How was your day? Where are we going??”

Lardo is a master at letting him just ask without giving real answers (and, frankly, he’s thankful that she doesn’t yell at him like Holster does), and soon their at Lardo’s super secret art studio. At this point, Tango’s been here before and has stopped asking the “Where are we going?” because he recognized the area. But he still had so many questions, even up to the moment Lardo put a small red blob next to a larger light blue one on top of a big smear of white.

When she started mixing, he went absolutely quiet and fixed his eyes on Lardo’s hands, listening to the scrape of the triangular knife on the sheet of plastic she uses as her pallet.

They do this for hours, Lardo even letting him paint a bit on a spare gessoed canvas she uses to swatch the colours on to see what they look like. He isn’t really the best artist but he does get the shape of a multicoloured rubber duck with shades on. It’s mostly purples and blues and greys because those are the colours he said he liked seeing being mixed the most.

He eventually starts buying her the bulk cheap acrylics from A.C. Moore. They spend their Thursday and Sunday afternoons mixing paints.

Lardo puts the piece they made up in her senior art show. “Takes Two to Tony” is the title of the piece (only the hockey players get it, theater kids think it’s about the Tonys and spend too much time trying to figure out what a messy, tecnicolour duck with sunglasses has to do with the relevant plays and musicals of 2016).

It’s the most commented on piece in the guestbook and someone even asks if they could buy it and leaves their number (Lardo never calls them).

Tango is quiet when he looks at it because it reminds him of his mama duck and how she figured out what made him the happiest and used it to help him.

When Lardo graduates, she finds Tango at the ceremony and hugs him, slipping the key to the studio into his hand. “It’s all yours now, Tang. I’ll see you there.” He goes and there is all the paints he got her, the piece of hard plastic pallet, and the painting. It’s now hanging from a rafter, the light from the dusty skylight filtering in and making the metalics and glitters they used on it shimmer. Tango is so happy, he cries.

They still meet every Thursday and Sunday afternoon there.

Tango’s started his own paint-mixing stim account on Instagram and a “mama-duck-lardsy” always comments, saying things like “that blue can be used as a highlight on the duck” or “good job with the pigmenting, who’s your teacher? ;)”.

I can’t speak for any other writers or artists, or the show’s intention, none but my own– but lapis and peridot, I wanted to create the experience of a growing queer relationship. Again- this is only my intention. Can’t speak for anyone else! Many people are writing those episodes. But. I don’t want to have people have to sit down and put together puzzle pieces to see if they were represented. Not in this day and age. That game is so tiring. As for amethyst and peridot, again, this is only my writing intention, I wanted the feeling of a “first time crush” that you go on to then be close intimate friends.  Anyone who wants to see the narrative they want is completely, 100% allowed to. 


But I wanted to close the book on this- I am queer, and intend fully to write queer characters when I do.  

Hit Me Like A Ray Of Sun

“Bitty. Holy fuck.”

Bitty’s eyes fly open.

Ransom is only an inch from his face.

“Wake up, Bits.”

Bitty groans and holds onto the blankets but Ransom gets a good grip on them and rips them all off at once.

“Justin Oluransi I swear if you don’t let me sleep I’m never making pie for you again. I mean it. I need my rest. I was up late studying.”

Ransom snorts.

“I was to studying.” He only talked to Jack for ten minutes. Fifteen tops. “And if you don’t let me sleep for the remaining 25 minutes that I am allowed I am taking every single piece of dessert that I make here and bringing it to the LAX house. You’re going to ruin it for everyone.”

“Jeeze,” Ransom says with a roll of his eyes. “So dramatic. Just like your boyfriend.”

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huffingtonpost.com
9-year-old becomes first openly transgender Boy Scout
“I am accepted, and I’m actually in Boy Scouts," Joe Maldonado said.

The Boy Scouts of America recently lifted its ban on transgender scouts, and 9-year-old Joe Maldonado has a lot to celebrate. He joined a scout pack a week after the ban was lifted, making him the first openly trans Boy Scout.

Joe tried to join the Boy Scouts last year, but he wasn’t allowed because parents complained about having a trans boy in the pack. 

The leader of Joe’s pack, Kyle Hacker, helped Joe put on his uniform and kerchief and taught him the Cub Scout salute and Scout oath at his first meeting.

“This means you’re the same as Scouts all over the world,” Hacker told Joe, according to The Record.

For Joe, the event was especially meaningful because it showed he was finally being accepted.

“This is fun; I’m so proud,” he told The Record. “I am accepted, and I’m actually in Boy Scouts.”

“This means you’re the same as Scouts all over the world.” Crying. Go, Joe.

I don’t usually make Pissed/Rant posts, but this infuriates me.

As many of you people know, I do conventions on top of youtube for a living. A really really good friend of mine does conventions and commission work for her living and has been doing this as a full paid living for years. (I am not going to say her name, she asked me to keep her anonymous so I will respect her request.) She does more conventions in a year, let alone several years, than I couldn’t ever fathom so her experience with conventions including El Paso Comic Con, is very broad. 

I don’t usually make posts like this or anything concerning drama, but I want this to be known out there and have there be an awareness of this issue, cuz what happened today at El Paso Comicon is wrong, and I just wish I was there to do something about it. 

The reason why I bring this up, is because today she faced a huge ordeal at El Paso Comic Con, and this is what I came to hear about today on her facebook, and over the phone.

——-

My friend’s words: 

“I don’t even know how to put into words what just happened to me. I am still physically shaking. Today at El Paso Comic con I tried to bring in a pasta because I was hungry and hadn’t eaten since yesterday. I was told by staff I couldn’t bring it in so I asked to bring it in anyway because I am vegetarian and can’t eat hotdogs and chicken salads.
They brought over their main supervisors and the head lady began to harshly try to put power over me saying “cons don’t allow food you can’t” she tried to discredit me by asking how many cons I do and how many let food in.
I began to explain again to the other person about how I cannot eat certain foods and as the conversation continued I began to feel an anxiety attack coming on and tears were already happening.
THEN THIS LADY TAKES OUT HER CAMERA TO FILM ME HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK.
I ask her to please stop filming me. She put her phone away but surely she still recorded the rest of my conversation without my consent.
The head of the con allows me my food in but at this point I am so anxious I can’t eat.
THEN I bring my food to my friend to give hers to her and explain what happened.
THIS WOMAN FOLLOWS ME TO THE TABLE to “call me out” on lying about being the only one at my table. (I am in full panic attack mode and very upset and not ok)
I explain (while still crying) that this is not my booth and I am giving her her food and telling her what happened. (she is the only one at her booth just like she told her, but this woman falsely accused her simply to destroy her.) 
She then tells me that I have to pack up my stuff and leave the convention. I tell her that I paid for my spot and am staying. (Not just as attendant but an exhibitor with paper work, paying for her spot) She begins to scream at me to “take a chill pill” and go back to my table.
Once I’m at my table I am in such a bad shape a friend of mine HAD TO GET A MEDIC. This panic attack lasted OVER AN HOUR and I am STILL shaking.

I am utterly humiliated and heartbroken. I loved this convention but I will not be coming back now. I have not had such a terrible attack in almost a YEAR.

This is something I am scared to post on Facebook but I know it’s important to let people know what’s going on. When my service animal can’t even help me because I have nearly stopped breathing, you know there’s a problem.”

——-

It’s not like me to make posts about this, the only other time I have is when the issue with UltimaAlmighty happened and even then I still don’t even think he deserved the ending he got despite me telling my share of the story. but this?.., is not ok. 

I want to contact the head manager or either the convention center, or of el Paso Comic Con and report this issue about the supervisor handling a situation that should have been dealt with care, and communication, not a power trip and following her with ill intent only to make hasty accusations that she is innocent of,- so far as to induce her with the worst anxiety attack where she literally couldn’t breath. (and her service animal for emotional support rendered useless). However, my problem here is that I don’t know how to contact the head of El Paso Comic Con. Does anyone know how? My friend was wronged, and I want the head to know about what their supervisor did. 

Sunday Morning

Summary: A young man and a young woman run into one another on a Sunday morning at a coffee shop, both of them heartbroken, and rediscover what it means to love and be loved. Bucky x Reader 

 Author’s Note: I’ve been working on this one for a bit. It’s basically the feel-good romance no one ever expected me to write (me included) 

 Words: ~2900

Originally posted by writingandcoffeehouse

Bucky used to love Sunday mornings. They were meant for sleeping in, for curling against the soft, tender body that slept next to him.

They’d had five years of Sunday mornings, of her soft sighs in his ear as she stirred from her sleep, bright green eyes blinking sleepily up at him as he kissed her plush, pink lips. Five years of Sunday mornings, of making coffee in a pair of boxers; of her arms wrapping around him from behind, a soft cheek against his bare back. Five years of Sunday mornings, of sitting at the breakfast bar in their pajamas, her thumb wiping jelly off the corners of his mouth.

Five years of Sunday mornings, wasted.

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“no terfs allowed”

pretty quickly after i came out as a lesbian on this website, i added “no terfs allowed” to my bio. every lesbian i follow has it in their bios. i follow wlw who aren’t lesbians, and while some have it in their bios, it’s less common.

i’ve been thinking about the general sentiment of “fuck you, terfs,” and why it bothers me. it’s not the attitude against terfs (i don’t like them or want to associate with them either), but rather the performative nature of it. it allows us afab wlw to sit comfortably knowing we’re not one of Them. it allows us to get comfortable, to wrongly assume that our job as allies is done because we said we don’t affiliate with terfs.

first of all, while all terfs are transphobes, not all transphobes are terfs. all of us (afab wlw) have privilege over trans wlw, even if we are nonbinary (as i and many of my afab lesbian friends are). we all need to be aware of our own privilege and not distance ourselves from it by proudly displaying our anti-terf sentiment. sometimes i think by saying “i’m not a terf and i don’t affiliate with terfs” what comes out is “i’m not holding myself accountable for my own transphobia because it’s not me who’s the problem.” we’re turning terfs into scapegoats for transphobia (and especially transmisogyny) and that’s such a reductive view of the way that systematic oppression works.

second of all, afab wlw, to an extent, should want terfs to follow them because assuming we’re doing our jobs as allies, we’re potentially exposing people with toxic views to information and opinions that they might otherwise not hear. i would much rather a terf be following me than be following a trans woman. the violence a transmisogynist could enact on me is significantly less, so i should be putting myself between terfs and trans women, amplifying the voices of trans women in the hopes that terfs and transphobes will hear. cis/afab wlw telling terfs to go away is shutting a door. it’s one thing to not want them on your blog in order to protect yourself; that i understand. it’s a whole other thing to keep them from reading what you write and reblog because they have bad opinions (to put it lightly). how are their opinions ever going to change if they never leave their echo chamber?

third of all, i think the whole “no terfs allowed” thing swings back to the scapegoating of the lesbian community within the lgbt+ population. before, when i identified as bi/pansexual, i never felt like i needed to make excuses for the label i chose. sure, i spent some time defending my sexuality as i faced biphobia (and my own internalized homophobia), but i never found myself saying “i’m bi, but i’m not one of the Bad Ones” the way that i feel like i have to say all the time as an out lesbian. to the point where i have to essentially write, “i’m not one of the Bad Ones” in my own bio to justify my being a lesbian in an online public space. i know this is a much more complicated issue than i am making it out to be in this post, but it does really bother me that every afab lesbian i know also feels this need to clarify their position on this matter when it seems like no other subgroup of the lgbt acronym does. 

so putting in your description something like “no terfs allowed” is performative allyship, but it also feels like a necessary defense against lesbophobic assumptions. both things bother me, but i feel helplessly caught in the middle - it’s necessary for me to protect myself against lesbophobia by putting it in my description, but in doing so i feel like i am failing to do my full part as an ally to trans women 

this post is okay to reblog, and in fact i would love to hear other people’s (especially other lesbians’, and especially trans lesbians’) input on this

2

Eavhen looks at the ensemble set before her and feels something roil within her.

“No.”

“No?” Josephine repeats, obviously startled. “Inquisitor, it’s important that we show a united-”

“I understand that, and we’ll come up with something that fits, but…” Eavhen takes a breath and straightens her spine. She’s postured enough by now. “I go as the leader of the Inquisition, of course. But I also will not go to Halamshiral and let them forget that I am Dalish and proud.”

Painting the rest of her body to match her vallaslin may be a bit overdramatic, but she thinks she’s allowed that much by now.

I know round here we all agree that hot!young Harrison Ford with his carpenter’s hands is one of the most compelling arguments for time travel humanity has yet put forward, but I am here to tell you that the modern 6 year old is less easy to impress. “I thought Indiana Jones was a girl,” she said sadly, clearly underwhelmed by her first sight of him in Raiders of the Lost Ark. “Me too,” echoed her sister, slurping mournfully at a Calipo as if I personally had betrayed her by allowing this 80s classic to be made with a ~man~ as the main character. “She should be a girl. A girl with glasses.”

Move over Harrison my friend, kids today don’t want hats n whips n leather jackets, they want their swashbuckling heroes to be GIRLS. Girls who look like librarians. Get to work Hollywood, don’t leave my children disappointed.

“Paying Guests” (Part 1)

Pairing: Steve x Reader x Bucky

Summary: When a need arises, Steve and Bucky on a whim lie about their sexuality to you. Unbeknownst of their purpose you let them stay with you, in your apartment. But what happens when they start falling for you? And what will be the outcome of their harmless tall tale?

Word Count: 3341

Genre: Pure floof, throughout the series

Warning: none

Author’s Note: enjoy! 

Next Part 

(not my photo*)

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favorite parts of batb (2017) thus far

bc it’ll be fun to see how much i can add after i do see the movie in full

*in no particular order*

  • lefou’s little wink to gaston while singing the lines “you can ask any tom, dick, or stanley / and they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on” and basically implying that gaston can turn all the straight men gay
  • gaston being the one to put his arms around lefou!!! like, “too much” my ass, gaston, you initiated the cuddling!!!
  • gaston shooting a fUCKING HOLE IN THE CEILING OF THE TAVERN
  • also “i’m not done with you yet” “neither am i” aka lefou being cute n gay
  • gaston not knowing what “je ne se quois” means when he lives in france
  • beast’s little smile after he threw the snowball that knocked belle over, like, who allowed for this so-called monster to be so darn cute!!!
  • belle automatically assuming every inanimate object in the castle is alive and promptly asking a hairbrush for its name

when i introduce myself, if i’m in a space where it’s comfortable and appropriate to append pronouns to your name, i have a little spiel that goes “they/them, or she/her if you’re in a possibly unsafe situation”. and you know what, i’m legitimately alarmed by the number of people from hyperliberal urban or academic environments who respond with some variation on “or, yknow, i could just use your pronouns”.

having different pronouns in different situations, or being out to varying degrees in different situations, is completely valid. in specifically queer circles, i’m transfemme and nonbinary and my pronouns are they/them, thanks. it would be misgendering me to use she/her in that space. in pretty much every other situation, i’m still out as trans, though maybe not so much nonbinary. they/them might be appropriate, but in some academic spaces, she/her is. while my preferred pronouns are they/them, if someone had used those in front of, say, a professor, or a client, it wouldn’t necessarily out me—i mean, i’m still vocally, loudly trans—or something dangerous, but it might very well fuck up my day. using she/her in these situations, within reason and with common courtesy, is not misgendering me. in actively unsafe spaces, especially for you; if you’re from the can of alphabet soup and you’re talking to, say, transphobic parents, using explicitly gender-neutral pronouns for someone you know can very quickly turn into a bad situation that puts your mental and/or physical health and safety at risk. using she/her for me in these and similar situations is not misgendering me. they are pronouns i am using that are no less valid for the fact that they’re situational.

i’m sick of people from insular, relatively safe queer communities policing when and where i’m allowed to be implicitly closeted or partially closeted, policing what language i feel comfortable using in certain situations. because i prefer they/them in safe spaces doesn’t mean i prefer those pronouns somewhere where something as simple as that might get someone hurt. hell, it doesn’t even mean that i’d prefer those pronouns in a situation where that means arguing with someone over the validity of singular they and having them use something binary anyway: maybe she/her. maybe not. maybe ‘it’, “if you don’t want to have a gender anyway”. there are spaces where it’s easier, where it’s safer, where it’s more comfortable to use a pronoun set i might not otherwise prefer — for myself or for someone else. i would never in the world want someone to have to put what they perceive as my comfort over their safety. and anyway, i’m the only goddamn one who gets to decide what is and isn’t misgendering me. thanks.

A temp I barely knew was actively trying to get me fired behind my back.

This happened a while ago but decided to post today as she rang a member of the office and used the threat of unfair dismissal claim if she wasn’t given a good reference. Not sure if it belongs in here or not.

TL:DR An office temp I’d spoken to a handful of times conspires to have me fired without my knowledge. It’s a very long story so be warned it’s a bit of a vent.

So, we had a temp covering maternity leave that turned out to be a bit of a nutjob. She was EA to Deputy CEO and seemed to think this gave her some sort of status. We’ll call her the temp. I’d spoken to her twice maybe three and was incredibly nice; I make it my business to be nice to everyone. What she didn’t know is that from about a week after she started I knew she was sending daily complaints (all unfounded and untrue) to my manager about me. My manager and I get on socially and professionally and he was dumbfounded by her doing this. I still have no idea, why she did it to me either and until today I’d put her out of my mind.

We are talking 3 or 4 complaints a day and asking for stuff to be taken further and why wasn’t I getting warned/reprimanded, whatever?

Keep reading