So, in my children’s museum we have this area designated for facilitated crafts/other dumb stuff. Which means there is always one of the museum floor staff standing there helping. Like it should be cool, but most of the time it’s just a coloring book page and some crayons. But on this particular day we actually had a cut and paste craft. Which yay because we actually get to do something but omg no because a bunch of toddlers wielding scissors is just a recipe for disaster.
So I’m just chugging along, helping the kids whose parents have abandoned them with me for some free childcare, and all of a sudden I hear screaming and look over to see one child has ripped a pair of scissors out of another child’s hand, cutting them a little bit.
I rush over to help the child who was cut, getting all the necessary first aid things, and then I turn to the other child and so “no, we do not yank things out of other people hands. ”
And then, out of nowhere, the devil child’s mother pops up next to me.
“Ma'am” she says. “I understand that you must be stressed but we don’t use the word no with our child.”
And me, in my shocked state, trying to soothe the poor injured child whose parent isn’t with them, just look at her and say “…. what.”
“Yeah, see, the word no is such a strong word and we don’t like to restrict our child’s choices like that. So we prefer to reward him for good behavior and redirect his behavior if it isn’t aligned with what we think is ok. But we never use the word no.”
And I’m just like, about to blow. Because while she is saying this complete and utter bull crap, her child is again trying to yank things out of another child’s hand. And just like, what the actual hell am I dealing with right now?
So I, with a straight face, look at this mother and say, “well could you please redirect your child’s behavior before he stabs another child? Thank you.”
And she just looks at me in complete shock. And then I walk away with the crying, injured child to find their parents.
I’m lucky that the parent never complained about me, (in fact other parents complained about that child and he was not allowed back in the crafting area), because I probably would have gotten fired, but for the love of god. Parents, the word no is a wonderful word. Please use it so that your child doesn’t end up harming others because of their spoiled behavior.
Fear, numbness, exhaustion, chest tightness, procrastination, lack of ideas, lack of goals, lack of purpose, lack of confidence, anger, frustration, blockage… if you recognize any of these symptoms before, after or while writing, you are probably suffering from writing anxiety. When the whole process stops being fun and delightful, something is wrong. But, don’t worry, you are not alone. Together we’ll bring joy back to your writing.
First, we need to understand what is causing the anxiety.
Your logical brain is forcing you to write a masterpiece and completely exhausting the creative brain in the process. You can’t write a single phrase without the logical brains telling you to reread and rewrite it a hundred times. But perfection doesn’t exist. So, your logical brain decides to postpone the whole project until the creative brain creates perfection. “This is its job.” The logical brain says. Under pressure, the creative brain turns off. Having this ongoing strike inside your mind will give you anxiety.
Try this: Instead of a long out-of-sight deadline, set smaller goals or missions to be achieved daily. For example, instead of “I have to complete my first draft in three months” try something like “I have to write two pages everyday no matter what”. Daily goals will keep you moving. After completing a mission, reward yourself with internet time.
Positive affirmations to read everyday:
Writing is peaceful and fun
I feel accomplished after a day of writing
I allow myself to write with the flow of creativity
I love to immerse in writing
Writing is my safe place
I am flawed and I like that
I am a prolific author
I always meet my goals
Writing brings me joy
This is the career for me
I’m proud of myself for writing everyday
I allow my creative mind to speak up
Mistakes makes me stronger
I feel stronger everyday
Having negative, critical, violent, abusive, dependent, emotionally distant or bickering family members is a major cause of writing anxiety. Both family problems and writing take a huge amount of energy. You can’t do both at the same time. We end up getting involved in family dramas, but, when it’s time to write, the missing energy causes us anxiety.
Try this: When your family shows instability, look for a safer place in your house. Distance yourself somehow. If they are used to negativity, nothing you do will make them feel better. Actually, sometimes, you trying to help will only make things worse. So, distance yourself. Allow them to do what they wanna do, but allow yourself to be different. Try making new friends as well, even online friends are valuable. They take away your attention from the bad mood.
Positive affirmations to read everyday:
I choose to live my life in peace
I allow my family members to live the way they want
I can’t change others, and that’s okay
I am a free person
I am important, my decisions are important
I allow myself to be different
Writing completes my soul
Writing brings me joy and peace
I have many reasons to be happy today
I’m proud of myself for choosing peace
Writing is my safe place
The lifestyle of a writer is the major reason why depression is so common in our career. For example, no sunlight, no exercise, spending hours in the same position, thinking, thinking, overthinking, enduring loneliness (sometimes even when we are surrounded by people) and the financial uncertainty. Soon enough, your energy drops. What used to make you all excited and happy, now is boring or bothersome. In some cases, you can barely leave bed. Sleeping is a mechanism your body finds to easy the pain in your mind. “Losing” the passion for writing can cause anxiety.
Try this: Exercise every morning, stretch, take a sunbath daily, enjoy happy songs before sleeping, change your workplace regularly, fill your walls with drawings and beautiful images, make small changes in your routine, learn something new, learn a new origami everyday, learn a new language, learn new recipes, change your eating habits, start a blog or a vlog, try new writing habits, find a new restaurant, go out, write somewhere else (like in a coffee shop), write in a different genre and sub-genre, change the age of your characters, change the set, change the plot… you must be wiling to let go of old habits and give yourself something new everyday.
Positive affirmations to read everyday:
I am surrounded by love
I am surrounded by amazing ideas to be written
I am proud of myself everyday
My career is to make people dream, I’m so cool
I feel excited to start a new day
I feel excited to write
I am going on a journey everyday
I am excited for tomorrow
Writing brings me joy
I allow myself to feel good right now
My heart is smiling
I love smiling
My purpose is feeling good right now
Writing is peaceful
Grief or trauma
If you went through a traumatic event, writing is hard. You no longer understand life as you used to. What you were passionate about doesn’t matter anymore. You are in pain, angry and/or exhausted. These feelings have taken over your mind. Forcing yourself to write will only bring anxiety into equation.
Try this: Give yourself some time, a month, three months or even a year. In this period, don’t worry about writing or anything. Get some rest, watch movies, read books, lots of books, travel, discover the new you. When time comes, you will naturally go back to writing.
Positive affirmations to read everyday:
I feel better everyday
I am proud of myself
I am brave
I am surrounded by love and peace
Writing gives me a good sense of direction
Writing makes me feel good
I allow myself to cry if I feel like crying
I allow myself to smile
I love smiling
Writing is a good life experience
Good news are coming my way
I am excited for tomorrow
Something amazing is about to happen
I feel light and peaceful
Low self esteem
Feeling bad towards your physical appearance, career/school situation, financial condition, life style and past choices can also lead to writing anxiety. If you are not confident on who you are, you will have a hard time finding confidence in writing. Having a voice requires confidence. And if you can’t respect and appreciate yourself right now, hesitation is the cause of anxiety.
Try this: Change your physical appearance somehow, buy new clothes, dress nicely at home, change your hair, draw beautiful patterns all over your skin. Don’t compare yourself to celebrities. Stop following celebrities and beauty magazines if they are making you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Find more realist celebrities to look up to. Give yourself love. No one deserves love more than you. Live in the present, avoid any thoughts about past mistakes or what to do in the future. Live in the now.
Positive affirmations to read everyday:
I allow myself to simply be
I am part of this world, which makes me important
I enjoy my body
I feel pretty/handsome, regardless of beauty standards
No one has the same body and face as me, I’m unique
I enjoy my personality
I respect myself
I allow myself to make my own path
My opinion is what matters
I am proud of this body
I enjoy life
My voice is important
My voice is beautiful
I am beautiful
Or the fear of making decisions. You don’t know in which genre you should write, or which sub-genre. You can’t decide which idea to write, or which character to create. You feel like drowning in an ocean of possibilities. Making a decision is too hard. And you stop yourself from moving forward for the fear of making the wrong choice. Being stuck causes the anxiety.
Try this: If you can’t decide between two things, think outside of the box. Create a third option and go for it. You can also write all options in pieces of people and pick one randomly. Give yourself fifteen minutes to make a choice, nothing more than that.
Positive affirmations to read everyday:
I am taking the right path everyday
It’s easy to choose
I trust my instinct
I am wise and I always have the answer
I allow myself to decide
I allow myself to move forward
Moving forward is good
I am always taking a good path
I feel confident in my choices
I know what to do and which path to take
The answer is always clear
Can you identify what is causing your anxiety? Now that you know the cause, let’s overcome it.
BMC Characters As Things I've Said While Doing Illegal Things
Jeremy- “Am I allowed to stand up or is that weird?”
Michael- “I can’t tell if it’s from the drunk, but I’m gayer than ever right now.”
Rich- *crying about the one time I ate a lobster and how it ‘stared’ at me*
Chloe- “She needs to stop, and like, I hate her face, stop her, I’m so mad like can she just stop getting in everyone’s business?” *insert 5 more minutes of angry high rambling*
Brooke- *paranoidly runs into CVS to spray on perfume to cover the scent of weed, only to panickingly spray deodorant onto my jacket, not realizing the perfume was right next to the deodorant, and continuing to speedwalk out of said CVS*
Jake- “Guys. Stop saying fish are dumb. They probably can understand us and feel bad about themselves and- oh my god they can’t cry because they’re in water already.” *cries for 30 minutes*
Christine- “I sing better when I’m drunk.” *continues by belting out showtunes*
Jenna- *laughing uncontrollably because someone said they needed their 'ralph machio helmet’ as they tied paper towels around their forehead*
It’s not what it looks like. It’s not wilful self destruction. It’s not a cry for help.
Imagine the most important moment of your life, the pivotal decision, the fork in the road that changes everything
So I want to instantly (this very hour) do a thing… this very, VERY important thing.
This is the thing that I have only realised RIGHT NOW is so incredibly imperative. I know it’s impulsive but it’s utterly, utterly brilliant. This is what I need to do. It’s such a great idea. Besides I’m young, this is supposed to be my time, I am allowed to be spontaneous! I can’t believe I’ve only just realised how much I really, really need to do This thing. This is absolutely what I was supposed to be doing all along!! I’m going to do it right now, no point waiting, I’m more sure of This than any decision I’ve ever made before! I have absolute freedom, I am without restriction, I will accelerate to euphoria and success.
Possibilities for ‘This’:
◻️ Drop out of college to pursue something I’ve never even heard of before.
◼️ Resign from a good job I actually enjoy.
◻️ Classic ‘Sex, Drugs and Psychosis’ brand of mania.
Viciously abandon every friend I have because ‘they’re holding me back’.
Literally run away to live with someone I’ve only just met.
Buy business supplies in bulk, for an idea I’m bound to have later.
Dump my boyfriend/girlfriend on a complete and utter whim, to revel in the turmoil.
Abandon life, buy a one way ticket to a country I have nothing to do with, have nowhere to stay, no way to get back and no money or safety when I get there.
Tattoo of something so profound I can’t even articulate why I want it.
Drink all the spirits in the house alone for literary ‘inspiration’.
Play with knives to feel the power of taunting mortality.
Seduce this romantically committed person, chronic boredom likes challenges.
Buy 14 pairs of these same shoes: it’s an investment.
Stop taking my meds because they’re stealing my potential. Manic me is the true me, they’ll take her away . After all, what if the Doctor’s are wrong? Maybe I function in a higher plane, all great innovators do, and there must be a misunderstanding.
Open water swimming, alone, at night, in a very angry sea.
Start collecting reptiles… I think I’ll start with five… I’ll be going to the shop now.
At the time these decisions don’t appear reckless, ridiculous, risky or wrong. They seem like the most sensible and obvious thing in the world. We are not attention seeking. We don’t have a death wish. Our ability to judge risk is just monumentally impaired and the urgency of these actions becomes overpowering. This is why unintentional death is so notably high in rapid cycling bipolars.
We are brave and inspired and running on double time to the people around us. We are the glorious and the invincible… and sometimes we are running into traffic for the joy of the adrenaline hit.
We’re hitting the ground running… hard… and usually in the face.
If you’re able to help us, please do, but know what you’re looking it. Stare the ugliness of mania in the face but know, with doubtless certainty, that for us, it is most beauteous thing, the most precious place we’ll ever be.
Once upon a time, you had a happy relationship with your boyfriend. He would kindly ask you on dates, bring you flowers when he knocked on your door, and kiss you goodnight when he dropped you off at home.
You loved him, you really did. You knew your friends didn’t like him, but he tried his best to be friendly around them. Eventually he just stopped hanging around you when you were with your friends.
Your boyfriend, Justin (Idk this name just popped into my head), would sometimes overreact to things. He didn’t really like it when he knew you had been with your friends and were late to meet him for a date. He also didn’t really like it when you spent time alone with Peter. He didn’t really let you. You didn’t like the idea of not spending time with Peter alone, but you were still able to see him in class and at lunch.
Justin would sometimes hit you if he was really upset. He once found out you were alone with Peter in your bedroom, and he had hit you the next time you were alone. He apologized afterwards. Justin told you that he had overreacted and promised he would never do it again.
That’s what he always said though. You truly loved him, so you always forgave him. You believed he truly loved you, so you truly believed him when he said he would never hurt you again.
Sometimes, Peter would still show up at your house late at night. You would always spend the first few minutes trying to get him to leaving, knowing Justin would be displeased with Peter’s presence in your bedroom late at night, but Peter would refuse to leave, telling you he missed his best friend and that you should break up with Justin.
You would always tell Peter that you loved Justin and that you weren’t going to break up with him. Eventually, Peter would drop the topic, knowing it would just make you angry.
The only other times you really saw Peter was at lunch. He sat across from you and Michelle. Lunch was your favourite time of day. It was really the only time you got to see all your friends.
One day, you had a late night movie date planned with Justin, Peter had come over after school to help you finish your lab report, but after the two of you had finished your work Peter ended up sticking around.
You and Peter were goofing around in your bedroom when suddenly your mom shouted up to you “Justin’s here!”
“Peter you have to leave. Now,” you ordered.
“Peter. Leave. Now,”
There was a knock at your bedroom door.
“Y/N?” Justin said from the other side of the door.
“Can I come in?” Justin asked.
“Just a minute! I’m getting changed. I’ll be right out,”
“Please Peter, just climb out my window or hide in my closet. Justin can’t see you here,” you whispered
Peter stared at you for a second “Does he hurt you, Y/N?”
“Y/N, does he hurt you?” Peter repeated.
“Please, please just leave,” you begged.
Peter looked at the fear in your eyes and eventually nodded. He grabbed his backpack and headed towards your fire escape.
You watched Peter climb down the fire escape, as soon as he was far enough down, you turned towards your mirror. You smoothed down your hair and clothes, and reapplied your lipstick.
After you made Peter leave, he was skeptical as to whether you were really okay. He knew something was going on with Justin. Peter decided he would put on his suit and kindly follow you on your date. He just wanted to make sure you were safe.
You opened your bedroom door and walked out into the living room where Justin was sitting and talking to your mother.
“Oh, Y/N did Peter still here? I didn’t see him leave,” your mother said.
You didn’t dare look at Justin.
“He left hours ago. He just helped me finish my chemistry lab report and went home,” you lied.
You turned to look at Justin, you could see he was fuming on the inside.
You smiled at him, “Ready to go, babe?”
He gave your mom a small smile and then got up and placed a forceful hand on the small of your back and led your outside.
When you got outside you decided to finally speak after a completely silent walk out of the building.
“Where are you taking me tonight?” You asked
Justin was silent for a moment. You looked up at him and say his clenched jaw, and clenched fists.
“I can’t believe you had Peter over. Alone n your room of all places,”
“He was just helping me with homework, Justin. Nothing happened. Nothing ever happens,”
Justin reached down and grabbed your wrist. He tightened his grip on you and started walking faster.
“Justin, slow down, your hurting me,” you said.
Justin stopped In his tracks and dragged your around in front of him.
“Really, Y/N? This hurts?” Justin said, tightening his grip on your wrist.
“It hurts me when you see Peter behind my back. This is how I feel when you see him, knowing how much I hate it when you do,” he said, emphasizing his grip on you.
You could feel the tears welling in your eyes, and a lump forming in your throat.
“Please,” you begged.
Little did you know that Peter was indeed following you. He was sitting on the roof of your building, listening to what has happening. He knew he had to swoop in and stop Justin from hurting you.
Justin was still tightly gripping your wrist, explaining how much you had hurt him when suddenly there was a web across his mouth and Spiderman landed on the sidewalk a few meters away from you.
“You know, you really shouldn’t hit your girlfriend,”
Justin let go of your wrist and tried to pry the web off his mouth.
You backed up so your back was up against the wall of your apartment building.
“Are you alright, miss?” Spiderman asked you.
You nodded, holding your wrist in your hand.
“Listen dude, you really should leave her alone. You have no right to touch her,” Spiderman said to Justin.
Justin used all his might to pull of the web.
“She’s my girlfriend. I have every right,”
“Oh see, that’s where your wrong. Haven’t you ever heard of consent? Or, I don’t know, treating a girl right?”
“Oh fuck off, Spiderman. You don’t know anything about our relationship. You have no right to butt in like this,”
“Again with being wrong. If you plan on hurting this girl, or any girl, i’m going to intervene. Never lay your hands on her again,”
Spiderman webbed Justin’s hands together, and then webbed over his mouth again.
“You should go home, miss. I’ll take care of him,” Spiderman told you.
You nodded, and headed towards the entrance to your apartment buildings, not daring looking back.
After you left, Peter knew he couldn’t exactly take Justin to the police, knowing that he wouldn’t be arrested without a report from Y/N. So he decided to teach Justin a lesson.
He went home that night, not regretting hurting Justin. Well, he didn’t hurt him too much, but enough so Justin knew he meant business. He couldn’t sleep knowing that you were in love with that absolute ass. He knew he had to talk to you about it, but he also knew you wouldn’t open up to Peter.
Luckily, the next day you didn’t have school and you wouldn’t have to face Justin.
You had planned on staying in bed all day. It was already the afternoon when you heard a knock at your window. You quickly turned over in bed and you were face to face with Spiderman.
You jumped out of bed and walked over to open your window.
“Can I come in?” Spiderman asked.
You nodded, moving aside to allow Spiderman to enter your bedroom.
“Did you break up with him?” He asked.
“I love him,” you said.
Spiderman took his face in his hands, and ran his hands over his head.
“Really? Y/N, he beats you. How much can you really love that?”
“How do you know my name?” You asked.
“Is that really the most important thing? Your boyfriend beats you and you stay with him. How can you love that, Y/N? How can you love someone who gets off on hurting you?”
You sat down on your bed with tears welling in your eyes.
“Get out,” you said.
“What?” Spiderman said.
“Get out!” You ordered.
Spiderman looked at you for a second, before obeying your request, and climbing into your fire escape and swinging away.
You sat on your bed crying, for what seemed like forever when you eventually picked up you phone and called Peter.
You knew you shouldn’t be seeing Peter, but he was the only one besides Spiderman who ‘knew’ about Justin hurting you.
Peter came over almost immediately when you had called.
He opened your bedroom door and saw you lying in bed crying.
“Y/N, what’s wrong?”
“I’m so stupid” you muttered, starting to cry harder.
Peter came and sat on the edge of your bed. You reached over and grabbed his hand.
“Come lay with me,”
You moved over, allowing room for Peter to slip into your bed with you.
You brought yourself closer to Peter and lied your head on his chest. Peter wrapped an arm around you and wiped away a tear.
“I can’t believe I’m so stupid,”
“You’re not stupid, Y/N,”
“Yes I am Peter! He hits me! I have bruises! If Spiderman hadn’t’ve saved me last night I’d honestly probably be dead on the road right now,” you cried.
“Please break up with him. You deserve so much more than him. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally and who will always be there for you. Someone who will let you have friends and not hurt you when you spend time with someone other than them,”
“I don’t know how to break up with him. What if he tries to hurt me again?”
“I’ll be there for you Y/N. I’ll come with you. I’ll be right by your side the entire time,”
“Can we just lay here for a while?”
“Of course,” Peter placed a light kiss on your forehead.
You knew you would have to break up wit Justin eventually, and you knew that Peter would be there for your no matter what. You just knew you didn’t deserve Peter.
Okay first can we all appreciate this little piece of art made by my little five years old sister ?
Y'know I told you about the fact that she basically came watching me while I was drawing, asking to put a flower crown on Lapis’ head. I then finished the post after saying she watched Steven Universe at the end of the day. I stopped because this actually deserves its own post.
Before I talk about the whole SU experience I need to add that I found out where she got the idea of the crown from - A little before asking she was crying about wanting to put a flower crown she found on her head and my family wouldn’t allow her to and explained that this was for a wedding we’re going. So from what I know this crown is for my aunt who’s getting married next week. Basically my sis’ asked me to draw a fucking WEDDING CROWN to Lapis
I guess she made the link with the dance since yeah, when we celebrate a wedding people dance ?
Idk this makes it cuter lol.
Now back to the subject, why am I proud of what happened when she actually watched ? Lemme tell you -
I was just trying to find something to do on my computer and put the season 3, my favorite, and she decided to watch too. I kinda randomly put an episode and went for Beta since she knows all the characters from this one so she wouldn’t be lost (and since she doesn’t understand english putting episodes in order is useless for now). We then watched several episodes from the season.
First episode. She spent. THE WHOLE EPIDODE
FANGIRLING OVER PERIDOT.
I’m not joking. I litteraly did nothing. She just kept saying things like “Oooooh the green one is my favorite !!” “She’s so cute and funny love the faces she makes !!!“”I LOVE HER VOICE HER VOICE IS ADORABLE !!!!!” .
I mean I’m not surprised (coming from a kid who ties her tablet on her arm…also she actually drew the picture above before watching) but for some reason I thought her fav would be Amethyst ? She already saw her before and liked her bUT NO IT’S PERIDOT and it gets better after it
I then proceeded to put Peridot episodes (well, she actually sort of chose the episodes).
We went for Barn Mates. Characters she likes, full of Peri. Ship material for my stupid shipper brain.
“Wah she’s so well drawn on this one !!!! I like how she is here” Yeah thumbs up for Lauren Zuke, support from my lil’ sis.
She continued to fangirl. And she started to like Lapis too. And Steven. But still, Peri is her fav. She kept asking question and the episode ended but she wanted what’s next. Well, let’s go for Hit the diamond.
“-Why is she hiding ?
-Well she thinks the Rubies are gonna shatter her.
-What happens if they do ??
-*gasp* THEY’RE NOT GONNA SHATTER HER RIGHT ???”
“-Were they playing baseball to protect her ?
-Who’s winning then ?
-Them. They won. Don’t worry she’s fine :’)”
She also started to love Lapis, wait, I mean, “Bob”. Basically laughing at every single reaction from her.She also sometimes asked stuff about Sapphire “Is the little blue one nice ? Who is she with ? The red one ?” and said she’s also cute lol
She kept asking stuff about Lapis and Peri but I keep this for a little later
We then watched some other episodes, and I ask her what season she wants and we went for the fourth
Kindergarten Kid, Lion 4, Room for Ruby, and, 3 gems and a baby and then Gem Harvest (chosen by her and my cousin, lol.)
She was still fangirling and saying to my other cousin that she absolutely loves Peridot and how she loved her powers and Here’s basically the rest of what she asked and said :
“What happens if we take Steven’s gem ? If we try does her mother come back ?!” (ADMIT IT YOU ALSO WONDERED THE SAME THING AT LEAST ONCE.)
“WAIT DID STEVEN SAY HE WAS HIS MOM’S SISTER ? HOW” (i’m kinda proud she -almost- understood this quote hahaha) “Ooooh loooook Peridot is smaller than Lapis !!!” “Why does Steven draw them the same height ?!”“ I want to draw them too like he did !!”
“Is Lapis going to accept Peridot’s gift ? Is she ?! Aw no :(”
“AW THEY HAVE A LITTLE PUMPKIN DOG !!!”
“-Why are they laughing together ??
-Well, they’re making jokes together!” (she then proceeded to make jokes too. And make a weird impression of pumpkin.)
“Why is Peridot sad when Lapis is sad/mad ?”
“Why does she want to get along with her ?!”
That’s all I can remember. ‘Cause my sister never stopped to ask stuff about them. And pointing out that Peridot is small XD I obviously tried to answer but it’s hard not to laugh to this XD
She keeps trying to get into the same stuff as me and look what happens lol.
OH YEAH OBVIOUSLY I’LL UPDATE THIS IF SHE ACTUALLY DRAWS LAPIS AND PERI TOGETHER
celebration - how rans cellies his bday with his bros
“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty-two,” Holster croons, shouldering into the room with a tray filled with breakfast food and coffee.
“Mmm Holtzy,” Ransom murmurs, sitting up in bed. He pulls the covers around himself as Holster sets the tray down and snuggles up next to him on the bed. “Birthday cuddles starting early this year?” Ransom chuckles.
“I’d cuddle you all day if I could, birthday boy,” Holster whispers, mouth pressed to Ransom’s neck. He peppers kisses up the column of Ransom’s neck until Ransom finally turns his head to catch Holster’s lips in a proper kiss.
Bitty and Lardo:
When Ransom gets to Jerry’s, Bits and Lardo are already sitting at their usual booth.
“Happy birthday, Rans!” Bitty exclaims when he sees him, scooching over to make room for Ransom next to him.
“Happy birthday, bro,” Lardo grins, reaching a fist over the table for Ransom to bump. “We ordered you some mozzarella sticks and those wontons you like already.”
“And lunch is on us, so get whatever you want!” Bitty adds.
“Thanks, guys,” Ransom smiles.
“Now,” Bitty says, “Tell us what the dumb biology teacher said today.”
“Oh my God,” Ransom groans, ready to go in.
Chowder, Nursey, and Dex:
Ransom has to laugh when he walks into the Haus and is immediately greeted by all three frogs screaming what seems to be a rendition of “Happy Birthday.” Chowder practically tackles him into a hug while Dex holds out a beer for him and Nursey shoves a present into his hand.
“You guys didn’t need to give me a present!”
“Just open it, bro,” Dex grins.
Ransom nearly cries when he sees the ‘Mashkov’ on the back of the jersey.
“Holy fuck, guys, we made him cry,” Nursey says.
“Shut the fuck up, this is so nice, I’m allowed to cry,” Ransom chokes out, grabbing the beer and taking a long slug.”I am now formally requesting a birthday frog cuddle.”
He’s knocked over onto the couch immediately and ends up wearing half the beer, but he figures it’s worth it.
Jack and Shitty:
“Shits, the fact that you’re naked is not helping me convince my teammates that this Google Hangout is not a weird sex thing,” Jack whines.
“Woah, woah, woah, are you saying this isn’t a weird sex thing?” Ransom laughs, “Then what is my birthday present?”
“Your present, young Justin, is our presence… and also the Falcs tix and Tim Horton’s giftcard,” Shitty answers, smiling widely on the screen.
Shitty and Jack start bickering, then, and Ransom loves it. It’s just like old times, with Shitty and Jack still in the Haus. It’s a good way to end his birthday - the same way he ended his last three birthdays, now that he thinks about it.
JUST ASK ME (PART 1) - Roman x Reader (1st Person POV)
Desc: Alt Season three, Destiny is alive, Peter and Roman are still friends, share custody of Nadia, Olivia is leader of the Upir uprising beyond the border of Hemlock Grove. Reader was given to Roman as tax from a lower level Upir but with his own supply of nutrients and a refusal to feed on humans, he had other plans for the reader.
But, when the reader runs away, punishment has to be administered.
The AU Background is simply vehicle for -
SMUT: Dom-Roman, teasing, edging, fingering, oral (him on her)\
Notes: Doing NaNoWriMo, needed a break, wanted to try this idea I’ve been having, first time trying smut and I just loved this scene so wanted to use the gifs in my story.
It had been a good hour since Roman tracked me down, so close to the boundary of town. All of his resources I should have known. Not just the White Tower but his position as the Overseer of his Upir Coven, a Lord, no less, afforded him many eyes and ears.
It could only have been that night, I would never leave Nadia alone like that and since Peter and Destiny had taken her for the night, it was my chance. Destiny had offered to hang around and keep me company but I wasn’t about to drag her into my plan.
It was my own fault he caught me, Roman, I hesitated just before crossing the town boundary and he drove his car right between me and the town line. He didn’t even speak to me, he just opened the passenger car door and I knew I had no other choice.
Roman brought me back to our home and has been staring me down in silence for a good five minutes now, his green eyes holding back barely contained fury as his towering yet lithe frame leans against the table.
“I’m sorry Roman.” He lets out a hollow laugh and steps close to me, so close to my face but instead he looks past me.
“Sorry for what?”
“That’s an interesting phrasing of ‘running away’.”
“I wasn’t-” he raised an eyebrow, practically daring me to complete that thought.
“I wasn’t thinking clearly.” I finished instead and he sighed, cupping my face in his much larger hands.
“No, you weren’t my sweet.” He leans down and kisses me ever so gently on the cheek.
“Tell me,” he starts, whispering into my ear, “what could I have done that was so awful to make you leave our home?” I shiver at the sensation of his words, his breath tickling the sensitive shell of my ear in a way that he had to know drove me crazy.
“I don’t know.” I almost whimpered as he circled around behind me and clasped my throat with one hand, pulling me against him so my head rested against his shoulder.
“Have I given you reason to be afraid of me?” I could only shake me head and he grips my throat tighter, just at the boundary of making breathing difficult.
“I need to hear the words my sweet.”
“No…my Lord.” I know when he wants to be called by his name and when he demands the respect of his title.
“Then, did I mistreat you in some way?” He asks before planting featherlight kisses down the side of my neck. The sensation of both his lips and his long fingers on my throat made my knees feel weak but luckily, the arm he had around my waist helped steady me.
“You have not my Lord.”
“Do you know why I’m upset with you?”
“Because I disobeyed you.”
“That and I have many enemies that would not hesitate to use you to hurt me. It would kill me to lose my Princess. Do you understand?” I nod and look back to face him.
“I accept and am ready for punishment.” I tell him.
“That’s my good girl.” He leans down and kisses me so sweetly, his hand cradling my face with one and and with the other he unzips the dress I’m wearing and lets it fall to the ground, leaving me in just my panties.
“Hmm, what to do with you.” He muses and glances back at the table.
“I know,” he grabs me by the arm, all tenderness gone, and pulls me over to the table and places a hand firmly between my shoulders and pushes me forward so my breasts are pressed agains the cold wood.
Reaching down, he takes both of my wrists in his hands and brings them to stretch out directly in front of me on the table. With his hands over mine he closes his fingers, demonstrating that he wants me to grip the other side.
“Whatever happens,” he is now leaning directly over me, covering me like a blanket, “you mustn’t let go, that is your challenge my sweet and I expect you to be a good girl and obey me in this this task.”
“Yes My Lord.”
Satisfied with my answer he stands up and takes a step back, no doubt to admire his handiwork.
“Do you remember the first night I took you?” He asks, approaching me once more to draw patterns on the skin of my back with his featherlight touch.
“Mm, such a stormy night, the white sacrificial dress they brought you in clung to your skin. You know, I assume they thought I would simply drain you, as my fallen predecessor would have, I had other plans.” He hummed in nostalgia and ran his fingers down my sides and ticklish as I am, I had to focus on holding on.
Eventually, his wandering fingers came to hook into my panties and he pulled them down my legs, stopping just before the knee. He hadn’t yet parted my legs and allowed me some modesty for the time being so the underwear stayed exactly where he wanted it.
“Keep those right there, do not let them fall, am I clear?” I felt a sharp stinging smack on my cheek, causing me to cry out and grip the table harder.
“I can’t hear you my darling.”
“Yes My Lord.” I yelped in twin pleasure and pain at the strike.
“That is more like it.” He cooed, my ass now directly aligned with his still imprisoned cock as he rubbed my back with his hand as the other settled on my hip.
“You were so cold you were shivering so you let me remove the rain-soaked dress and I covered your naked body in my firs. I sat you on the chair by the fire, the one with the arms.”
“I remember MyLord.” I gasp as he teases me from behind when all I want is for him to be in me. Instead he’s torturing me and I realise that whilst trying to keep my underwear at my knees, I have also been shifting my weight, trying to work up friction to the place I need it most.
“Oh my,” I let out a short squeal as his hand travels over the mound of my ass and down until he strokes a finger down my slit from behind, “so wet for me already and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He strokes up and down a few times, never attempting to enter.
With his finger well lubricated he reaches his hand down between the front of my body and the table, just his middle finger finding the snugly held nub in between my close pressed legs.
“I knelt before you and I parted your bare thighs and you let me, you kept your eyes locked on me as I nipped at the skin with my teeth as I got closer to where I knew you wanted me then and where I know you want me now!”
His touch on my clit was firm as he stroked in deliberate slow circles.
“This should be obvious but you have already disobeyed me once so I’ll make it clear. No cumming without my permission!”
“Please have mercy on me my Lord, I’ll be good, I promise but please let me cum tonight!” I wail, fearing the punishment much worse than I had anticipated.
“Shh, quiet my sweet or you will miss the rest of the story.” He continues his maddeningly slow strokes.
“Where was I? Oh yes, my head between your legs. I teased you for a while, I loved how wide your eyes got and when finally you came, you were actually shaking. Much like you are now.”
I close my eyes tightly, trying to focus on something, anything else.
“What did I ask you that night?” He actually expected me to form a coherent thought let alone remember a detail.
As I struggled I felt him lean over my body and nip ever so slightly on my shoulder, not helping my attempts at control but this wasn’t meant to be comfortable, this was punishment.
“Come on, think for me Princess, what did I ask you before I let you release?”
“You asked me who I belonged to.”
“That’s right and what did you say?”
“You, I belonged to you, I was yours, all yours, oh My God, please My Lord, I am begging you, I cannot hold on much longer.”
“Are you still mine?” He asked, ignoring my plea.
“Yes my Lord.”
“If you leave, I will not be able to show my love for you now will I?” I shake my head wildly.
“So?” He prods, his pace picking up slightly.
“I won’t leave, I won’t ever leave again, I promise.” I gasp in desperation and he pulls me up, turning me round and lifting me onto the table. My arms instinctively wrap around his shoulders as he stares into my eyes.
“You’ve been a very good girl for me,” he tells me as he slips two fingers inside me and presses his thumb to my clit. He cups the back of my neck with the other, our foreheads touching.
“My Lord-” I beg as tears spill down my cheeks.
“Come for me Princess!” He grants me permission and I come apart at his words, the tremors touch every part of my nervous system, reaching all the way down to the soles of my feet.
“I’ve got you my Love, I’ve got you.” He soothed as I come down, exhausted and spent. He gently removes his fingers from me and places them both in his mouth, licking my taste from each one.
“You always taste amazing when I push you to the edge.” He tells me with a wink and wipes the tears from my face and kisses each cheek before placing a soft, deep kiss on my lips, I love his mouth so much, actually, I loved every part of him.
“Darling?” He holds my face in his hands.
“I know you ran to get my attention and invite the punishment.” There wasn’t much, if anything I could hide from him.
“You have been so busy lately, I was feeling neglected.” I admitted, slightly embarrassed now at my behaviour.
“I apologise Princess and I will be more attentive but it really is much too dangerous out there right now. Believe me, if my mother were to get her hands on you…” he closed his eyes tightly as though blocking out a horrifying image, “I love you and I just want to keep you safe.”
“I understand and I love you too. I suppose I can find safer ways to provoke punishment.”
“There’s a good one I can suggest.”
“Just ask me.” He grinned and took hold of my hand. “Now, since you were a good girl I am going to draw you a bath.”
“Wait, do I not get to take care of my Lord first?” I ask, my hand travelling down his body but he catches my wrist before I reach my goal.
“Not right now,” he brings my hand up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on each finger and chuckles at my pout of disappointment, “oh, Princess, this night is far from over.”
A/N: If you saw my post a while back, you know what this is. I hope you all enjoy this! @memento-scribet here you go, you said you needed some fluff. <3
Warning: MAJOR FLUFF
Song: Ed Sheeran ‘Perfect’
If their is one thing you cherish, it’s walking in on Jason singing. He never sings around others, always saying it ‘wasn’t good.’ However, he has the most amazing voice. Very few know of this hidden talent, the only others who know this are Alfred and Bruce.
Whenever you come through the door or wake up and hear him, you immediately freeze as to not let him know of your presence. Loving when you can catch him with his back turned and can just watch and listen.
Every time he realizes you were listening he gets embarrassed even though it was beautiful. Whenever you ask him why he doesn’t sing more often it’s always the simple answer of “I just don’t sing around people.” However you think he’s insecure about it. He shouldn’t be though because he has an amazing voice and you don’t hesitate to tell him that.
But you don’t pester, knowing it will only make him agitated. You’re content with just catching him in the act. Your relationship progresses with or without his singing. And soon enough he’s down on one knee while you’re cheering “Yes!” and pulling him to his feet to plant your lips on his.
That’s right you’re engaged to the vigilante. And wedding planning isn’t quite up his alley. So you take care of most things with a friend of yours and Alfred of course, while he’s out taking care of the city. Though it seems like he’s doing some sort of planning himself. He’s been absent during the day and always humming some sort of tune.
You take notice of his fingers being even more calloused than usual and his voice is sometimes scratchy or quieter than normal like he’s losing it. Though, over time his voice returns to normal and his fingers seem to have grown used to the new callouses. Leaving you to think it was just some sort of new training.
After his voice grew normal again and his fingers adjusted he began to pester you to help, saying he’d take care of the band. You were a bit reluctant, thinking it should be a joint decision, but he was so determined about it you gave him the task. Alfred promise to keep an eye on him, but you trusted Jason to make the best choice.
You were so caught up in the planning and dress shopping and cake tasting it was a blur. Before you knew it you were at the rehearsal dinner. Happy to see everyone there, your family & friends, Jay’s family, even some of the league members. Oliver and Dinah were there with Roy, Barry and Iris with Wally, Of course Kori. Plus a few others through Bruce.
You weren’t expecting such a large guest list but Bruce insisted on taking care of any expenses. It was a great rehearsal, but when it was over it was soon time for your friends to swoop you away saying “Can’t see the bride before the wedding”
You laughed at the look on his face, but broke free from your friends. Gave him a quick kiss before returning to them.
It was lonely that night, not being used to sleeping without Jason. Not that you couldn’t sleep either way. It was too exciting, that next afternoon you’d be marrying the love of your life, who could sleep knowing that?
The day was hectic. Primping and plucking through all hours of the day. A friend doing your hair, having denied when asked if you wanted a stylist. You didn’t want anything too out of your normal and your friend knew just what to do.
Then was getting into your dress and making sure everything was perfect. Soon you were left to be on your own for a bit. Your brides maids running to do any last minute checks. Though one brides maid stayed with you, Kori. She stood behind you as you were in awe at how you looked.
“You look gorgeous” She commented, making you turn and smiling at her. “I feel like a princess” lightly touching the fabric. She came and stood next to you, “You look like one”
“I can’t wait to see Jason’s face” she giggled causing you to do the same. “Yeah” breathing out a sigh, lightly swaying to allow dress to sway as well. “I am so happy for the both of you, it is about time something good happen to Jason. You are the best thing to happen to him” she said sentimentally.
“Kori I swear if you make me cry right now I’ll never forgive you” You laughed turning to her. She laughed too before hugging you and whispering, “go get your prince” before turning to leave you to yourself.
Looking back at the mirror you felt so many different feelings: giddiness, nervousness, fear, joy, love. You felt so much love. Remembering what seemed like every memory with Jason in it. Losing yourself in your thoughts before hearing a knock on the door.
“Come in” you called. Your mother came in and smiled widely at the sight of you. Tears threatening her eyes, “You look so beautiful sweetheart” making you grin wider. “I feel beautiful” looking back at the mirror. She hugged you before saying “Okay before I cry, it’s time dear” gesturing for you to come.
Taking a deep breath you followed, lining up behind your brides maids. Plus the flower girl and ring bearer, Lian looking adorable in her flower girl dress and your brother’s son wearing a tiny tux.
It was just perfect.
But not as perfect as Jason’s reaction upon seeing you. The boy couldn’t breath, so many tears he almost made you cry. This was probably most people’s first time seeing his soft side. He couldn’t believe how gorgeous you looked, it was like an angel.
As the ceremony went on you both couldn’t help but continually look at the other. When it came to the vows, Jason did make you cry. His words were the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard. And he felt the same way about yours.
Finally you got to say your ‘I do’s and it didn’t take Jason more than a millisecond to kiss you when told. He dipped you and everything.
The reception was the next thing. It was beautiful, in the back of the Manor in the gardens. You and Jason had your first dance as Mr. & Mrs. Todd. You danced with your father, and Bruce, and all of Jason’s brothers. Including yours and many of your other family members.
You listened to the stories your best friend/maid of honor had of you and the many hilarious stories Roy had as Jason’s best man. It was amazing and you couldn’t think of anything to make it better. But it somehow managed too.
Talking to one of your aunts you were soon interrupted by a microphone back firing. “Whoops sorry about that” You heard Jason’s voice say before a laugh. “I uh, I have a surprise for someone tonight. [F/n] you always ask me to sing for you and I never do it ever because I’m a bit nervous about it. But tonight’s special and we both overcame many fears today, so what’s one more? This is for you babe, I love you” he said before putting a microphone in his ear and beginning to strum on a guitar, a song you know all to well. The first time you listened to it, it almost brought you to tears. ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran.
Hearing the guitar now explained the new callouses he obtained, and when he started singing it explained his sore voice from before. His usual voice was even more beautiful, obviously having taken lessons.
Making your way to the front upon hearing the first lyrics.
“I found a love for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you’re holding mine”
Stopping upon reaching the front of the crowd. Covering your face before uncovering your eyes. In a way that it covered your nose and mouth only.
“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight”
He sang while coming off the stage, and pulling your hands away from your face to see your smile. The band taking over with the music as he continued.
“Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we’ll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes”
Your heart melting at the third and fourth line. He cupped your face during those lines before taking your hands and pulling you to dance while he sung to you.
“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight“
Waltzing around the empty dance floor in what felt like an empty world with only the two of you in it. A smile on both your faces as the band played during a instrumental portion of the song. Jason rested his forehead against yours and you closed your eyes.
“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect, I don’t deserve this
You look perfect tonight“
He slowed you to a stop on the second to last line. Leaving you to stare into the others eyes as the song drew to a close. You cupped his face and kissed him as the violins ended the song. What seemed to feel like a romance movie moment.
Pulling away you grinned widely as his lips matched yours. Ignoring the applause from everyone and hearing multiple people, including his brothers, asking “Did you know he could sing?”
Though Alfred and Bruce just smiled contently at the scene, knowing full well what Jason was up to. Who do you think got him the singing, guitar, and waltz lessons?
It was a perfect end to the perfect night.
Bonus (After Honeymoon):
You walked out of the bathroom having ran in there after getting home from work. Jason just figured you really had to use the bathroom, having not seen the bag in your hands.
“Uhm, hey Jay?” You called, making him look at you from where he was seated on the couch. Reading a new novel he got on your vacation. “Yeah Mrs. Todd?” he grinned, you’d been home from your honeymoon for a few months and that still made you tingle.
“You remember the song you sang to me?”
One of his eyebrows raised and he smiled saying, “Yeeess?”
“Well their was a verse that read ‘To carry love, to carry children of our own.’ Remember?” You reminded and he nodded confused as to where you were going with this.
“Weeelll.” Taking the three sticks from behind your back. “The line got what it wanted” presenting the three positive pregnancy tests.
His eyes widened as he rushed over to see the items. “Oh my god” he whispered. “We’re going to be..?? I’m going to be..?” looking at you shock on his face
“A father! An awesome, amazing father!” you smiled widely. He showed a beaming smile before sweeping you into a hug and spinning you around. Then putting you down and pulling you into a deep loving kiss. “We’re going to be parents” he placed a hand on your stomach his eyes diverting there before returning to yours.
You nodded as he just kissed you again.
You know what they say: First comes love. Then comes marriage. And well you know the rest.
Two months before the plane tickets you come back, or I come back—depends on which perspective. I’ve written couple of poetry ever since. All without an ending. All saying the same thing. All rushing me to put end to this. You used to be my ocean but now you’re a boy without any intention to destroy. I left the heartbreak island and named my boat: to love and not remind myself why I shouldn’t. The poets in me would never be satisfied by letting go but here I am.
We say, “I hope you moved on” and for once we meant it. I saw the city from the highway. I drove past high school and did not flinch. I put on your playlist and did not cry. I saw a flashback of what may have happened and it didn’t felt like bathing on acid. I throw out the matches. I don’t have to set memories on fire anymore. I can now finally allow myself to remember you. I loved you and I stop punishing myself for it.
hazyaffection // today is that One Day and I’m wearing a smile I receive from myself
As a child, I always hoped to be famous I always believed I would, I always imagined I would But as time goes by, my choices narrowed down Only one choice was left, which seemed like my last To seize this last chance the only thing I could do, I must do was “to survive” Regardless of the numerous mistakes and conflicts, that last, final choice allowed me to grow as an individual and as a group of eleven Many people say that my dreams have come true But no, now I dream to become the dream of others So, who am I now?
Pairing: Reader x Minghao Genre: angst, an ounce of fluff Request: “can you write a minghao angst? um an imagine where he
has to practice hard bc a comeback is soon and you both barely talk or hang
out. and then you go to the dorm to see what’s up or to check up on him and
since he’s stressed, he gets frustrated or something and you both get into an
argument. idk, but lots of angst and then fluff at the end?” Word count: 2,009 A/N: Requested by anon. I hope you like it!
You rarely saw Minghao these days. At best, you’d get a few texts, at worst, several days of nothing. At first, you’d been okay with it; long absences were in his job description. It was just part of being an idol. Every so often, the two of you wouldn’t be able to see each other for a while. Usually it was because of tours. He usually made the effort to text you, sending you photo updates and reminding you that he loved you. He often texted you so much that you would sometimes forget that he was away. You could handle that; they made your reunions all the sweeter. Even when he was practicing for long periods of time, unable to see you for a few days, he’d video call you, and you’d fall asleep talking to him. But that had all been in the beginning. It wasn’t quite the same now.
It had been a month of little contact. You knew that he was busy; Seventeen had a big comeback on the agenda, and there was a lot riding on it. You’d been excited about it at first. You’d hear the boys babble on about all the ideas they had, the ones they wanted to explore, how excited they were to meet Carats. It had been cute. Unfortunately, you’d seen the stress begin to wear on them; some more than others. You knew that being an idol wasn’t easy. And you respected that. But there were boundaries, right? A relationship couldn’t survive on minimal contact. And, even worse, was he overworking himself?
You checked the time on your phone. 10:58 PM. You knew that Minghao had a short break at 11 PM. You’d decided then would be the best time to visit. You lingered on the screen for a little longer. It was a photo of you and Minghao, with a dog between you. You remembered the day it was taken. The two of you were visiting a friend’s house, and much to your delight, there’d been a puppy there. Minghao had fallen in love with it immediately; you had about a hundred photos of just him and the dog in your camera roll. You hadn’t seen him smile like that in a while.
That was the last distinct moment you could remember of the two of you being happy together.
‘ set your past on fire and leave. ’ ‘ don’t let your smile go wasted. ’ ‘ my love for you i swallowed, yet your name will forever rest on the tip of my tongue. ’ ‘ i still look upon you fondly. ’ ‘ be in love, with or without me. ’ ‘ i would give my life to meet you all over again. ’ ‘ all love is conditional. ’ ‘ love transcends beyond the edges of a relationship. ’ ‘ i wonder if you’d still recognize my heartbeat the way i memorized yours. ’ ‘ all the love you tried to waste on them should be put to use on yourself. ’ ‘ love is crying in crimson. ’ ‘ let it burn, let it cleanse, let it start anew and grow. ’ ‘ love is never pure. ’ ‘ you cannot endlessly give that which you don’t receive. ’ ‘ every day i am moved by the waves you made in my past. ’ ‘ if you get lost, all it means is that your old path has ended. search and find a new one. ’ ‘ i have enough warmth to share. ’ ‘ don’t look for them in other people. look for new happiness and new connections. ’ ‘ have i ever cared for someone the way i cared for you? ’ ‘ remember to count the stars in her eyes. ’ ‘ giving love is not a waste. ’ ‘ there are parts of me that remain forever changed by your presence and i’ll cherish these forever. ’ ‘ i am complete as a sole being. ’ ‘ there’s love to find beyond the horizon. ’ ‘ no matter how hard i cry, it’s not gonna bring us back. ’ ‘ your smile was golden like the sun and warmed my body the same way. ’ ‘ you may never know how much i still care for you. ’ ‘ the pillow still smells of you. ’ ‘ good or bad, i hope we are feeling the same. ’ ‘ i haven’t ever touched someone the way i touched you. ’ ‘ my favorite homes are the ones i can leave. ’ ‘ i’m tired of healing myself just so i can be hurt again. ’ ‘ you are my heartbeat. ’ ‘ even if i say i love you a hundred times a day, i mean every single one of them. ’ ‘ don’t forget to create a new self before abandoning the old one. ’ ‘ these tears are for me, not for you. ’ ‘ the best part of our relationship was me. ’ ‘ don’t look at them anymore. ’ ‘ there are better things in store for you. ’ ‘ unrequited love is like falling but knowing there’s no one to catch you. ’ ‘ some flowers only bloom after a fire. ’ ‘ free but struggling is better than trapped but happy. ’ ‘ cry then cry some more. then cry again. it’s a process you need to go through. ’ ‘ losing you is worth it. ’ ‘ i’m not quitting, but i do deserve a break. ’ ‘ don’t be with people who use kindness as a tool. ’ ‘ don’t ever convince yourself you are beneath or above someone. ’ ‘ forgiving someone is a choice, but it’s not always the right one. ’ ‘ don’t let someone else bring you down when you could be building yourself up. ’ ‘ i care about you, but i care more about me. ’ ‘ i’m yours only if i want you. ’ ‘ you cannot keep waiting on someone else to turn your life around. ’ ‘ it’s okay for me to still love you after all that you did, but i can’t let that love stop me from knowing what’s ultimately better for me. ’ ‘ forgiveness does not mean acceptance. ’ ‘ forgiveness does not mean acceptance. it simply means you will not allow the actions of other to extinguish your flame. ’ ‘ forgiveness says that your fire will continue to rage on with or without them. ’ ‘ gracefully letting go of someone not meant for you means you will be introduced to something that is. ’ ‘ goodbyes are not always goodbyes, but the painful ones usually are. ’ ‘ don’t mistake possessiveness for love. ’ ‘ living with a closed heart is not living. ’ ‘ i’ve been through worse, but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt. ’ ‘ my love for you was strong enough to beat everything. everything. ’ ‘ your love is not the love i want anymore. ’ ‘ you’re all the home i know. ’ ‘ we can all start forgetting now. ’ ‘ they are not you and that brings me more comfort than pain. ’ ‘ don’t let anger be all there is to you. ’ ‘ i liked everything you were five years ago. ’ ‘ if love were easy to find, it wouldn’t be worth it. ’ ‘ i don’t want to set things on fire anymore. ’ ‘ time passes even if you’re not moving forward. ’ ‘ crying is sometimes the best option. ’ ‘ don’t bother worrying about things that will never happen. ’ ‘ there’s still a lot i have to learn, but i hope i don’t have to learn it through heartbreak and pain. ’ ‘ you don’t always want what’s best for you. ’ ‘ the sun is all i need to keep myself warm. ’ ‘ i promise, when this is through, it will all be worth it. ’ ‘ you almost made me stop believing in love. ’ ‘ i could have fallen in love with you so easily. ’ ‘ i’ve found the one. i realized it was me all along. ’ ‘ there are so many reasons to smile and love is only one of them. ’ ‘ start taking no for an answer. ’ ‘ calm down, but don’t extinguish your fire. ’ ‘ what’s coming is always better than what you have lost. ’ ‘ don’t mistake confidence for arrogance. ’ ‘ there’s a lot of moments in my life i wish i had live through with you. ’ ‘ sometimes it’s better to not have any place to go back to. ’ ‘ i will fall in love with myself, slowly but surely. ’ ‘ be blind to pain or be kind to pain. ’ ‘ you’ll get there on your own. ’ ‘ goodbye for now doesn’t necessarily mean goodbye forever. ’ ‘ heal, but keep your heart open. ’ ‘ the urge to start anew burns deep within me. i will kindle this flame. ’ ‘ you can be heartbroken without ever falling out of love. ’ ‘ no fire keeps burning without good support. ’ ‘ don’t try to leave someone because you want them to stay. ’ ‘ what you feel is always real. ’ ‘ even good things will hurt if you’re surrounded by only bad things. ’ ‘ i have been waiting for too long to give up. ’ ‘ i’ve seen love come and go, but you’re the only one who made a home out of my heart. ’ ‘ you’re the only one who made a home out of my heart. ’ ‘ stop agreeing with what they tell you. ’ ‘ keep the past in the past. ’ ‘ don’t worry too much about tomorrow, it will come and it will pass. ’ ‘ allow people to move on and in turn, you will too. ’ ‘ i refuse to believe you no longer feel about me like that. ’ ‘ i still love you just as kindly. i’m still waiting with the same patience. ’ ‘ you can find more love in yourself than others. ’ ‘ i carry more guilt than i deserve. ’ ‘ guilty people often make the first move. ’ ‘ i am now and will always be mine. ’ ‘ don’t call me… at all. ’ ‘ it’s okay to say you don’t need them anymore and still fall asleep crying about them. it takes time and you are making progress. ’ ‘ burn bridges to the past and build bridges to the future. ’ ‘ respect isn’t free. ’ ‘ just as beauty has no weight limit, no amount of love is too much. ’ ‘ romance and heartbreak is not something to devote most of your time to. ’ ‘ never let someone new in to fill up the gap another person left. instead, work on replacing it yourself. ’ ‘ if they can’t explain, they can’t be trusted. ’ ‘ i wrote ‘yours forever’ and i meant that. ’ ‘ don’t compare yourself to the sun. instead, let it keep you warm. ’ ‘ it still burns. ’ ‘ the trick is to keep going. ’ ‘ kiss someone where they’re hurting, but please be gentle. ’ ‘ just do your makeup and try not to care. ’ ‘ how many times do i have to tell you no? ’ ‘ dream of me more often, even if it’s nightmares. ’ ‘ you need to choose a better life for yourself. ’ ‘ you’ll leave me and i’ll save myself. ’ ‘ you are no longer my goal. ’ ‘ i’m slowly moving on and starting to realize that i actually am better off without you. ’ ‘ i don’t cry because of you anymore. i cry because this beautiful person that i am spent so long wondering why i wasn’t good enough. ’ ‘ right now isn’t forever. ’ ‘ i’m still there for you even though i’m no longer waiting. ’ ‘ loving someone takes more than just love. ’ ‘ never choose someone who doesn’t choose you. ’
“A wound of a heart is different from a flesh wound. Unlike a flesh wound, there are no ointments to heal it, and there are times when they never heal.“- Yashamaru
"More than I ever could have hoped. You’ve surpassed me… I entrust the village to you now… Gaara…”- Rasa
“What a small, feeble child… No matter what happens, I’ll always protect you! Gaara…!“ - Karura
”Don’t feel bad. Women always go weak in the knees for the cool, elite type.“ - Kankuro
”Even if you go, you’ll be only in the way, that, and our Gaara is strong!“ - Temari
“I will work hard, because I want to become acknowledged by others. That’s what I thought when I look at Naruto Uzumaki. Bonds with others… Up until now, I only known them as hate and murderous intent. But I wonder, what is that bond he longed for? Now I understand, even only a little. Pain, sadness… and joy. These feelings allow you to understand others.” - Gaara
After reading and analyzing the chapter correctly, I must say that it was not a bad ending. I know that we all expected (and I include myself) that at least the famous ships known as the “Big 4” had their romantic moments with a kiss, confession, marriage or even children.
First we have to remember that Fairy Tail is not an romance anime/manga, it will be cliché my comment but it is a shonnen, it is true. FT focuses a lot on friendship, trust, union, laughter, etc. Mashima himself has made it clear. Even so I will explain ship by ship and part by part:
Gray and Juvia: yes, I’m a big fan of this couple and of course I also expected as everyone the Gray’s long-awaited “answer”. Unfortunately we could not witness it but, it is a fact that it was a positive one. Why? Well, to start, a year has passed since the end of the war. I agree that obviously Gray does not wait a year to tell her. Then, as Gray takes Juvia out of the party to talk alone, it’s something new, Juvia was the one who pulled him in the past and now, he is the one doing so and it’s telling her to not strip, means that he cares if they see her just like Gildarts did (lol) but the most important thing here and what I loved was that they mentioned the scars. At the beginning of the manga, Lucy asks Gray about a scar on his forehead, which replies that “It does not bother me to have scars as long as you can see them because it means something important for happened for me.” Gray tells Juvia to ask Wendy for help so that she no longer has the scar, again worrying about her. Juvia tells him that she doesn’t mind having it, because Gray has an equal one. I’m sure Mashima wants to imply that those scars attach great importance to their relationship. The memory that both decided to hurt themselves at the point of dying for each other, is confirming again that importance they have for each other. Then we see that Gray is in his usual “tsundere” mode, he still admits that the body of Juvia (or Juvia itself) belongs to him. Recalling that Juvia told Gray that “her life will always belong to him” and of course, also remember that Gray emphasize that “he would take her feelings seriously from now on.” Then, I liked that the personalities didn’t change, Gray is a character who has always struggled to open and it’s easily for him to turn red but come on, he admit it. This scene plus the previous chapters of how Gray acts with Juvia is a great development. Also, Wendy manages to hear Gray say “now you’re mine” thing after seeing Juvia who had a pretty face meanwhile she was in her knees making it something compromising to Gray… yes, Wendy’s red face along with Lucy’s comment from “You Re-imagined Things” says it all. I do not think Gray would say that to Juvia without being anything. If this is not cannon then I do not know what it is. LOL
Gajeel and Levy. The whisper of Levy next to that red face of Gajeel like saying “HOLY SHIT!” was gorgeous! But again the faces of Lucy and Wendy confirming that they heard “baby” can only mean one thing. Levy is pregnant and those twin babies that are shown in the imagination of Levy in the chapter that Gajeel is sucked by the hole of the underworld confirms it even more. Gajevy cannon.
Zeref and Mavis. I know that we had an end with them when they went together to the afterlife but it was nice to see them again because it is clear that it is a reincarnation, same look, different names and personalities but the feelings remain. Meaning that, no matter what they do, Mavis and Zeref were and always will be meant to be.
Jella and Erza I confess that I’m disappointed like many people because, how we can’t even see a talk of both???!? it’s very striking that Lucy thinks them both and says “Erza straightens her hair every day” showing Erza In a happy panel with casual clothes (not armor) plus Lucy’s face of that little smile while thinking about this and looks at Erza… I think a certain red hair girl sees Jellyberry very often;) and that’s why she dedicate so much to her looks! Don’t you think? Mashima left it open this along with those hints;)
And now, Natsu and Lucy. Many say they are in the “friendzone” but this is similar to Jerza’s: leave the situation open with hints. Let’s analyze … Lucy makes it clear in the chapter that she is a little jealous of the other couples plus some of the things she did when she was drunk saying “oh, I will never be a good wife”, her memories of Natsu, her tears and of course the Cute hug of a full page, implies that Lucy has illusions in love and more evident than by Natsu. Instead, Natsu is one of those characters who are clueless about love, he has the personality that can relate love with food really. A romantic Natsu would be very out of character. Natsu does the usual thing since the beginning of the story: Go to Lucy’s house along with Happy, make her smile, invite her to a job, implying that trust will always be there. Natsu in some translations says “We will always be together from now on” and in others “We will do what you want from now on” that comment is key, again: open situation with hints. You must understand Mashima’s game here: tell you things indirectly.
Leaving the ships aside for a moment, I was very nostalgic to see the team Natsu ready for an adventure and more because, Lucy returned to her main hairstyle with her first outfit, Gray in his white coat, Wendy in her red outfit when she entered the Guild and of course, could not miss: Erza with her suitcases.
Also, some will say “If Gruvia is cannon … why is not Juvia out there with them?” For two reasons: 1) Because is the main team and 2) Juvia is shown in a panel chatting at ease with other members, implying that a couple does not always have to be together, meaning the trust in each other.. and bye to the “Love rivals” lol
To conclude, a couple to be cannon does not necessarily need a kiss, a wedding, a cofension or kids. What matters is to confirm that both characters have mutual feelings and there’s so many ways to do it. Let me tell that in the couples I mention, I do see it! Mutual feelings.
Do not get carried away by not seeing romantic moments and say that it was a “bad ending”. Yeah, I confess, at first when i saw spoilers I made a mistake by my impatience and got a lil influenced by others:c but after reading it and analyze it I come to this.
In other comments, I really liked Lucy fulfilling her dream of being a writer! Although, honestly, I would have liked to see Laxus as a guild master come on!!!
Anyways, different ending, but never leaving aside the theme of friendship, values and feelings.
I yes expect some more but I’m also not disgusted at all. At last, Fairy Tail is Fairy Tail and I love it and respect Mashima’s decisions!
Now if you allow me … HIRO MASHIMA THANKS FOR THESE 11 YEARS, I’VE BEEN 5 YEARS IN THE FANDOM AND FAIRY TAIL HAS BROUGHT TO MY HEART, WITH GREAT ADVENTURES, LAUGHS, TEARS, ALL MIXED FEELINGS, SIMPLY EVERYTHING. ALWAYS BE A FAITHFUL FAN AND I WILL NEVER LEAVE THIS LOVE. I AM CRYING IN THESE MOMENTS BC MASHIMA INSPIRED ME TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS, I LOVE TO DRAW AND IN A LITTLE I WILL BEGIN MY CAREER OF ANIMATION, SOME DAY I HOPE TO PUBLISH MY MANGA THAT IN THESE YEARS I HAVE BEEN CREATING AND TO ARRIVE TO THE HEARTS OF PEOPLE LIKE FT HAVE MADE IT WITH ME! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!! AND I HOPE SOME DAY I GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY IT TO MASHIMA IN PERSON, FAIRY TAIL FOREVER !! AYE SIR !!
(Y/n) giggled as she walked out of the school. When she started high school, she expected it to suck, just like the movies. To her surprise, she loved it. Her day was always the same: Wake up, eat breakfast, have Sam and Dean drive her to school, go to her classes, get picked up by her brother, go home, do homework, eat dinner, study lore, and go to sleep after pestering her brothers to do the same. She didn’t mind the routine, but as of recently, that had changed.
Lately, (Y/n) had been telling her brothers that she had to stay after school. Every time they had asked her what she had been doing, she would have just responded with, “I’m part of a study group. We help each other with homework and sometimes, we even tutor lower classmen.” She had the brightest smile on her face, her dimples popping out. (Y/n) was always so convincing, and she was so compassionate, so they had believed her.
Jay laughed as he drove down to the road to the ice rink. Captain of the hockey team he was. He had full access to the ice, even after hours. He looked over at (Y/n). She had been singing some kind of classic rock song. Of course she knew it, she grew up around it. Jay had been the happiest he had ever been with her, and nothing would ever change that.
Soon enough, the couple had pulled up to the ice rink. Jay quickly got out and opened the door for the female sitting in the passenger seat with a wide smile.
(Y/n) wore a smirk as she grabbed his hand and got out of the car. “Always a gentleman,” she teased.
“Anything for my girl,” he grinned, kissing her cheek.
(Y/n) shook her head with a stupid smile. She started running. “Last one in is a rotten egg!” She shouted.
Jay chased after her quickly. Once he had caught up to her, he wrapped his arms around her and spun her around, causing the girl to squeal and laugh loud.
The two teenagers had stayed longer than they had expected. They of course lost track of time, being two teenagers in love. They had spent their time skating around the ice, and even playing hockey… Well, it was more… Jay teaching (Y/n) how to play hockey.
(Y/n) tried to hit the puck into the goal again, but Jay had blocked it… Of course he blocked it. He was meant to play hockey. He did all his life, and now, he’s getting scholarships.
“Jay,” the girl whined, “This is impossible. You’re a pro at this. I’ve only just learned how this works!”
Jay laughed and skated over to her. He took off the glove and padding, but kept the helmet on. He grabbed her face between his two hands. “I’m sorry, doll,” he teased. “I know I’m not being fair.” He chuckled as she smiled back at her.
“I know how you can make up for it,” she teased.
“Oh yeah?” he questioned. “How can I do that? I’d do anything for my girl.”
(Y/n) grabbed the helmet and took it off of his head. She giggled at his messy hair and ruffled it before leaning into kiss him.
“I’m more than okay with this,” he chuckled, kissing her back.
Sam and Dean had been getting worried.
“Where is she?” Dean exclaimed.
“I don’t know, Dean!” he shot back. “She isn’t answering her phone!”
“Oh, God,” Dean panicked, “Sammy, what if something happened to her? Our baby sister could be getting tortured right now!”
Sam looked like a light bulb had gone over his head. He ran to his laptop and started to furiously type.
“What are you doing?” Dean asked his brother.
“While we were busy panicking, I forgot that her phone has a GPS in it,” Sam stated. After harshly hitting the “enter” button, he started to scroll. “I have an address, let’s go.”
Dean grabbed the keys to Baby and they both ran to the garage.
After around ten minutes of driving, they pulled up to the rink. The brothers had grabbed their guns and ran to the door. Soon enough, they burst through the door. What they had seen shocked them.
What was there? Two teenagers, on a blanket, on the ice, naked.
Jay and (Y/n) had jumped when they heard the door open. They quickly scrambled to get their clothes on. Once they did, they were both red messes.
“Sam, Dean!” The girl exclaimed, “What are you doing here? I told you I was staying out late, like I always do!”
“It’s eleven at night!” Dean exclaimed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You’re too young to be doing… This!”
Jay’s eyes were wide as he stuttered. “W-We were j-just–
“Save it Ken Doll!” Dean barked at the boy.
“(Y/n), let’s go,” Sam said, his voice stern, “We’re going home.”
(Y/n) nodded and looked down. She started walking towards her brother. She noticed Jay giving her a worried glance. “I’ll be fine,” she told him softly, “I’ll promise…”
Jay nodded and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you,” she whispered back.
Jay nodded and walked over away from her to clean everything up, ignoring the harsh glare from Sam and Dean.
Soon enough, they Winchesters were in the Impala on their way home. The car ride was awkward and silent. (Y/n) knew that she was in a lot of trouble, so she didn’t say anything.
It wasn’t too long before they were back at the bunker. Dean slammed the door closed behind them. They all sat down.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Dean asked.
“It’s not that big of a –” she started, but she was interrupted by her second oldest brother.
“Not that big of a deal?” Sam questioned. “We thought someone took you, only to find out that you were having sex with some kid we didn’t know?” Sam scoffed. “Were you guys even being safe?”
“Of course we were!” (Y/n) shot back. “What, you think I’m stupid?” She asked. “You guys are so hypocritical. Stop acting that you guys weren’t doing stuff like this at my age, at least Dean was, and anyways, you guys go out to bars all the time and sleep with women you don’t know! At least I knew this guy! We’ve been dating for half a year,” she ranted.
“You’re grounded!” Dean yelled at her. “We will not be disrespected by you, and you will not be seeing that boy anymore outside of school! No more, ‘study group’ or ‘tutoring’ either!”
“That’s not fair!” she yelled back.
“You know that we can’t have connections like this!” Sam told her. “If you want to be a hunter, you have to learn that.”
“Well maybe I don’t want to be a hunter anymore,” she huffed. “I started tutoring and study groups because it looks on college applications and people actually pay attention to me,” she confessed.
“We give you a lot of attention,” Sam claimed.
“Really?” She retorted. “Because if you did, you would’ve seen my Class President posters that I used for my campaign. You also would’ve see that the day that I won, I came home wearing a t-shirt that said, ‘Student Body President!‘”
“Okay, we’re sorry that we didn’t notice, but you’re still grounded,” Dean said.
“You don’t get it, do you?” The girl asked.
“Get what?” Sam questioned back.
“I’m part of student council because it looks nice for colleges, I’m in study groups and I tutor for extra credit and because colleges love it. I want a normal job, a normal life. I want to earn my money, and I want to go to college. All this school stuff, Jay, and especially Jay are the things that make it possible for me to feel normal. They’re the closest thing I have to being normal until I graduate and leave Kansas, and you’re trying to take it away from me…” At this point, (Y/n) had tears in her eyes. Just as one fell, she sniffled and wiped it away before running to her room where she sobbed all night long.
Sam’s heart hurt. She wanted exactly what he wanted when he was younger. She grew up the way that he did. Her parents were absent from her life, she wanted to hunt but was never allowed to, and now she realized that hunting isn’t what she wanted. She had fallen in love and she was done for, she wanted that life.
“I am hypocritical… I wanted the same thing and I just tried to stop her from having it,” Sam stated in a sad tone. He rubbed his face in frustration. “I’m a terrible brother.”
Dean didn’t say anything. He just looked the the ground with sad eyes. To hear his baby sister cry was the worst thing ever. It made his heart wrench. “I’m going to bed,” he told Sam before heading to his room.
That night, it was hard for both of the brothers to sleep. It wasn’t until one in the morning that (Y/n)’s sobs stopped. They didn’t go in to talk to her. That would’ve made things worse, and that was the last thing they wanted. All they could do was wait for a later time to talk to her. It would be one hell of a wait.
Originally Published At waywardwrites.WordPress.com BY ME