i just?? care about joshualina a lot

THERE ARE BAD && POISONOUS PEOPLE in this community. People who seek enjoyment through other people’s sadness. People who attack the most vulnerable ones because they know that is how they can make the most damage. Sometimes they succeed but that does not mean that anything that they let out of their filthy mouths is true. Jana aka @xuofhearts has ended up as one of the faceless cowards’ victim without any good reason – like every single person attacked by these shitbags. These anons have tried to control how Jana runs her blog and writes her muse by sending her hate and they were pretty darn close to actually succeed and drive her away. 


…and we are glad that she did. Jana, this post is all about you.


❧  So Jana and I go way back. Like, way way back. I started this blog in September of ‘13 and by the end of that month she and i have our Dumb Losers hooked up and being really bad for each other. She is one of only about 3 people who I have been RPing with that long. And it’s nice. Having her, so steady and consistant (-ly angsty, madcap, and brimming with really great ideas) as well supportive and encouraging? It’s made all the difference in staying and going more than once. She just brings so much depth to every character she plays. So much color and life and extra dimension. It’s really easy to land in the tropes of fandom, we’ve all done it, but her ability to reinterpret and then translate her understanding in to all these new and unexpected situations is really a gift of hers.


❧  So Jana dragged me (okay not quite dragged) kicking (well maybe not quitekicking) and screaming (eh, maybe that’s not accurate either) into the FFVIII fandom after we’d been RPing our respective muses of Xu and Legend together.    I’d gotten into a replay of FFVIII within the past year when I stumbled upon the rarely-seen Aki, and kind of jokingly said “I should RP him LOL.”   Jana was the little devil on my shoulder telling me DO IT -  not that I needed much encouragement.
But really, it’s not just about the muses and fandom although they do rock – Jana’s been a fantastic person to get to know offline too, I’ve really enjoyed our Skype chats and feverish fangasming over the X-Files reboot (REMEMBER THAT LIZARD GUY OMG).  She is multi-talented and all-around lovely person and I’m really glad my dumb Legend muse responded to that first ask Jana sent his way because we’ve built some pretty rad stories since then.  It has seriously been a blast, murderous muse rampages, puppy wrangling and all.  <3  ILU


❧  Jana is truly a joy among the fandom, and an exceptional friend. I can safely say I wouldn’t have become the person I am today if we had not interacted and gotten to know one another. She’s fantastic and just a genuine person to her core. I appreciate and honor that so much. We’ve had amazing times together and still do no matter what. She’s allowed me to grow in ways I don’t even think she’s realized yet and for that I say thank you my dear friend.


❧  Jana, or Xu, as I know her more as, is an amazingly cool writer. She’s quick to plot with, pounces on all my favorite tropes, and has been nothing but encouraging to me since I started in the FF8 side of things. She’s an incredible person, and I’m very lucky that my fandom circles touched hers. ^^


❧  Whenever Jana & I speak, she comes across to me as very chill, both our muses squee over their mutual weakness of puppies, she’s down to earth and I REALLY love seeing her posts about the various clothes she makes. too. 
But! Am sometimes super jelly, because I’d love to be able to make my own clothes too. I jokingly headcanon Xu as Rufus’ badass tailor sometimes, and knows how to make him dress sharply. Overall, she is very dedicated to what she does, I’ve had nothing but good, positive fun from her, and she is my friend.


❧   “Okay, so I already like, poured my fucking heart out to you about how much I love you and Xu both, but… I guess I just wanted to make it official? I don’t know. You’re so talented, and I’m so lucky to write with you, ship with you, and… ugh, whatever. You know how I feel. Keep being incredible, babe.”


❧   xu-mun is like the coolest person. Her costumes, posters, and other art are super cool. I’m always amazed at the way she takes minor characters and ‘villians’ and fleshes them out into these incredibly believable, relatable people. Also she is so nice she once helped me find my lost  glasses over IM. The best basically~  


❧   Jana’s an absolutely fantastic rp partner. I’m awed by her, honestly– her ability to keep up rp blogs and play each one amazingly is incredible. And outside of RP, she’s great too– we haven’t spoken all that much ooc that doesn’t involve rp talk but she’s awesome all around, and deserving of all the love and respect in the world. 


❧   Jana means so much to me. I’ve been with her from the beginning, and I’ll stay until the end. She is a fantastic writer, both on tumblr and off. She cares so deeply for each character she portrays and the depth of her creativity knows no end. She is a blessing to have around and it’s heartwarming to know so many other people here feel the same. She is a precious wonderful angel and a gift to the final fantasy fandom as well as to the world. I’m so grateful that she is my friend.

As for me…I have followed Jana for years now. It all started back in 2013. It was around the time when I first started rping on Tumblr. My never-ending lust for Seifer Almasy led me into Jana’s blog and I have not left since. For a long time I actually just admired her writing and muses from afar until I eventually found the courage to message her off-anon. She was very nice to me although I was being a gigantic pain in the arse sometimes – still am lol – but somehow she tolerated me, and while I may not be as close to Jana as many of the people on this list I know this for sure: this woman has talent. She has the incredible talent of staying true to her character even while writing the utmost different kind of scenes. The passion for the character shows! And not only that but Jana is also a fighter spirit. She has gone through so much shit she shouldn’t have gone through and yet she is still here. kICK THE WORLD’S ASS HONEY!
ps. i am sorry for not being good with words.
pps. thank you everyone who sent their beautiful words to be put onto this post and didn’t think i was a creepy weirdo harassing them.

I’ve gotten tons of messages and responses in reply to my original post.  I can’t say how grateful I am to all of you individually right now (I’m checking tumblr at 2am here!), but my god I can’t stop smiling at all of you, even those who just liked the post.  I’ll reply to you later because I want to, and I want to express my gratitude to each person individually for how wonderfully you’ve treated me (even if it’s just a short casual informal one!).

Not to sound big headed, but I’m glad to know I’ve helped the community, and that the community has enjoyed what I’ve provided, even if it’s just reblogs. 

Thank you again, I’ll be on sporadically as usual.  Be good to yourselves :)

I have to say, I never thought I would encounter “should we hate on butch lesbians for ‘‘‘‘‘‘promoting the gender binary’’’’’’’’” discourse in an honest-to-god, real-world queer space