💞aries💞: always laughing and joking with you. playful smacks on the arm and always wants to wrestle, but whines if she gets hurt even though she started it. always looks at you in this special way that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. jaw kisses and butt touching.
💞taurus💞: literally invites you over to nap with her. wants to do the simple things with you, like taking baths together and falling asleep in the same bed. buys you lots of gifts and brings you food home anytime she goes somewhere.
💞gemini💞: always wants to go somewhere amazing. she wants to go places and see things with you. has her arm around your waist all the time and has this airy laughter that you could never forget.
💞cancer💞: very domestic. she wants to cook for you and do your laundry and wants you to live with her a month after you start dating. the warmest big spoon and always kisses your forehead. she loves to watch movies with you and just spend time together.
💞leo💞: you two can have fun together anywhere. she wants to go to walmart in the middle of the night just to run around and laugh and hold your hand. loves kisses and pda, she’s always showing you off because she’s proud of you. lots of dates and cheap thrills.
💞virgo💞: the girlfriend that’s like your best friend. she always wants to hang out and watch tv, and she’s always got something to talk about. probably organizes your room for you just because it’s driving her nuts and hardly mentions it even happened. loves to sit in your lap and talk about the world.
💞libra💞: sappy romantic. she loves traditional dinner dates and when you buy her roses. she celebrates valentine’s day like it’s fucking christmas and she loves to buy you gifts. always kissing your knuckles and telling you she loves you.
💞scorpio💞: she loves to spend time with you more than anything. tons of just hanging out at your house and watching netflix and talking about your feelings. she loves to cuddle and she’s always dtf. very playful and loves to mess with you.
💞sagittarius💞: the type of girlfriend that always wants to go sightseeing and hiking. always dragging you along by your hand because she moves so fast. she always has something to talk about and loves to kiss your cheeks.
💞capricorn💞: she’s always in the mood to cuddle. she’ll give you long hugs or random passionate kisses to tell you she loves you. always telling you things like “be careful” and “drive safe” and brushing your hair out of your face. always telling you about her big ideas and plans.
💞aquarius💞: your best friend above all else, she wants to do everything with you. always surprising you with gifts and dates and loves to jump into your arms. the type of girlfriend who’s happy just to have you around and doesn’t care what you’re doing.
💞pisces💞: super sweet and always wants your attention. she’s always touching you somehow and telling you about the random stuff she’s thinking about. loves to hold your hand and nuzzle you, and hates sleeping without you.
• if you have sensitive skin, avoid foaming cleansers that act as astringets!! lemon and witch hazel cleansers are going to tear your shit up and leave your skin thinner and fucked. go with aloe and natural ingredients for better results, no problemo bih 👊
• that drink 8 cups or 64oz don’t work for me. makes a bitch too damn full!! work your way from soda and sugary drinks like juice and take it step by step. but let’s be honest, everyone drinks it, so don’t beat yourself up about it, drink what you want. if you aim to decrease the amount of soda/juice, always go back to the basics: a big ol’ cup of water. consume the amount of water that goes hand in hand with your weight, not just out of the blue 5-6 cups. a good alternative is putting fruit in your water if you don’t like the taste. or, you can always flavor it! 🌟
• don’t go too all out on those lip scrubs! if you do it too often, such as four times a week, your lips are going to get drier, crustier, and feel stripped and thin. we’ve all been there! exfoliate 1-2x a week to avoid this. however, chapstick does the job too 💋
• mix avocado oil, jojoba oil, sweet almond oil, and aloe vera gel and dilute the oils with water and pour it into a spray bottle. this is crucial as a detangler and a boost to the hair. makes it all soft and shit 👏 unfortunately, it’s a bit pricey, so you can always look for sales or discounts online!
• rose hip oil softens lips 💞
• lips are what everybody looks at. do you want them looking chapped asf?! invest in a lip mask. slather on organic manuka honey that is unrefined for 10 minutes, and then wash off with warm water or a washcloth👍
• dandelion root tea is a good substitute for coffee, but coffee’s good too, so just indulge in both!☕
• most of us stay up long into the mornings, which probably makes us wake up with dark circles and eye bags. don’t fret! to nix puffiness, dampen a washcloth with ice cold water and leave it on your eyes and under them for 3-5 minutes. if this is in morning, it can also help you wake up! if you’re looking to treat yourself, invest in some eye patches! 👼
• rose water is a GREAT toner! once you dab it on your face with a cotton ball, you immediately feel refreshed and ready to start your day 💪 teddie organics has a mist on sale for $10.88! it’s on amazon.
• applying sunscreen is essential to protect your skin from those nasty uv rays. but some forget their hair! if you get a sunburn on your scalp, it will hurt like HELL 🔥use spray sunscreen specialized for hair and slightly mist your hairline to avoid it. use a heat protectant like argan oil if you a broke hoe like me 💯 stack up!
on another note, don’t trust hair products with supposed uv filters. those only protect your hair color, not your actual hair!
• washing your hair, it’s better to wash it first with hot/warm water and then do the second wash with cold water to close up and seal moisture into the hair follicles! 4c hair especially needs this 👱
• hair products with OIL, PLASTICIZERS, and SILICONES will definitely clog your pores if they get on your skin and will leave your ass at square 1!! avoid that.
• yogurt and miso soup are probiotics that help fasten metabolism and hold moisture in your skin! 😇 that’s why yogurt face masks are bomb and every person should try them :)
• if you live in new york, atlanta, etc., you are bound to pollution. that’s why it’s always good to wash your face before bed to get rid of pollutant particles that will clog pores. afterwards, apply an antioxidant serum and a good moisturizer! lean towards products with white tea, green tea, and vitamin c to make the ultimate pore-cleansing mask! it’ll leave your skin feeling clean and make it glow 🌟🌟
• deep condition your hair 1-2 times a week or every two weeks!! it’s intense and has your hair feeling silky smooth. avocado, mayo, honey, sweet almond oil, and coconut oil mixture is my go-to, and my curls have blossomed! if you buy a deep conditioner from the store, make sure it’s water based and is sulfate free and paraben free (shea moisture and as i am are superb for beard cleansers as well!)👸💋
• go barefaced. prove to misogynistic assholes that makeup does not define a person’s beauty or attractiveness nor their personality. embrace your flaws and remain imperfect to society, because you are the one who knows that you are perfect 💋👏👏
• be yourself, work hard, and recognize your fucking worth 💕💕💕
• btw, honey ain’t shit if it’s not organic and raw. coconut oil ain’t shit for the hair or skin if it’s not unrefined, organic, and virgin (extra virgin is even better)! essential oil like tea tree oil that helps as acne treatments are skin-thinners if you don’t dilute them with water or a different substance. rose water ain’t shit if it’s not organic and 100% pure 😑😢
invest in your skincare/lifestyle! go online and dig for the right prices and take them before they’re all gone!
If you couldn’t tell by the things I’ve been reposting lately, finals week has arrived. My first exam is at 8am tomorrow (wish me luck), and I wanted to share some tips and things I’ve learned over the years. Most of this applies to both college and high school, but everyone’s method is gonna be a little different. You do you boo.
This is super important. It may seem like you don’t have time to worry about these things but your body is just as important as your mind. Nurture it.
Make your bed. Every morning. If you have to wake up early to give yourself more time, do it. Someone somewhere once said “the state of your bed is the state of your head.”
Brush your teeth. Floss if you can. I know it’s a pain in the ass but it’s literally 2 minutes of your time.
Put on chap-stick. Bring it everywhere, to all your exams, leave some in your car, in your pocket. It’s never fun to have chapped lips.
Wash your face. Morning and night, depending on skin type, etc. This is super important to wash away all of the dirt, makeup, and toxins your skin is exposed to. It also helps to wake you up and get you started. And if you’re anything like me, stress breakouts are always a possibility.
Moisturize. Your face, your arms, your legs, etc. A good facial moisturizer and body lotion can do wonders for your skin and your mood. Do a face mask too, if you really wanna pamper yourself.
Keep your space clean. Where you sleep, where you get ready for bed, and especially where you study. This goes back to making your bed, your surroundings play an important role in your mood and state of mind.
Eat Healthy. Don’t skip meals, your brain needs good nutrition to function. Take it easy on the sugar, you might be on a high for a little while but the crash is real.
Drink. Water. Lots of it. I’m terrible when it comes to this, but I find that keeping a refillable water bottle on me, one that’s easy to take quick sips from, helps a lot. You need to be hydrated in order to function properly. Drink juice to help you stay awake if you’re not a fan of coffee or tea (Idk why but this really helps).
Stay active. Keep moving, get that blood circulating. Whether it’s running, yoga, or a walk in the park, the movement is sure to clear your mind and get those endorphins kicking.
SLEEP. 7-8 hours, ideally. No all-nighters. Don’t even think about it. I limit myself to one all-nighter a semester, and never on the night before an exam. Your brain works to learn and memorize at night, so get your rest and study in the process.Take catnaps between study sessions if you get tired during the day, but don’t sacrifice that sacred sleep for a few extra hours of studying that will haunt you the entire next day.
Now that you’re all zenned out, you can fill your brain with all that dope knowledge.
Go to review days. Your teacher should explain what’s on the exam and what she expects of you, and if you skip you could miss out on important details like room and time. It may seem like skipping gives you more time to study, but you’ll be at a disadvantage in the end.
Summarize. Outline/summarize/prep class content expected on the exam. Being able to summarize content and place it in an order that makes sense shows understanding, and it’ll help you figure out what you need to work on most.
Find study stations. Coffee shops, the campus library, bookstores, diners, you name it. Study anywhere but home, at least not alone. I sometimes crash at my friend’s place and we’ll have silent study sessions, keeping each other in check.
Use a time management tool. I use the app Forest, or the chrome extension. When you use the timer, you plant a tree or a bush and it grows until the timer is up. I like it because when I use it on my phone, I set the timer for 25 minutes and I can’t exit the app or the tree dies. On chrome, you can blacklist certain websites that distract you, and if you visit that website during your study session, the tree dies. Don’t kill trees people.
Prioritize. What exam do you have first? How prepared are you for it? Which exam will be the hardest/are you least prepared for? Use your sessions wisely and focus on the material you don’t know as well.
Method. What works for you? Are you an auditory learner? Record your notes and listen to them in the car or while you work out. Kinesthetic? Rewrite your notes, make models, etc. Visual? Find good pictoral representations of your content and try drawing diagrams. It’s super important to find a study method that works for you, and everyone’s is gonna be a little different.
Come prepared. Buy pencils, scantrons, and erasers beforehand and come to your exam with everything you need (i.e. calculator). Hand lotion, chap-stick, and deep breathing are great ways to calm yourself before an exam. If you’re religious - pray, spiritual - meditate/center yourself, non of the above - have faith in yourself and your abilities.
Dress comfy. If sweats are the way you roll, then go with it. If you feel more productive dressing a little nicer, have at it.
Trust yourself. Stop second guessing yourself. Trust in your work. Honestly, we doubt ourselves way more than we should. Don’t underestimate yourself, love. You show that exam who’s boss.
Celebrate. You’re done! Congrats on another exam finished, another day slayed, and another semester behind you.
No piece of mine has never had as much interest surrounding it as this one has, so thank you for expressing your excitement to me. I hope you’ll find it was worth the wait. (Protip: if you’re reading on mobile, ditch the app and read on Safari or Chrome instead, as the app is prone to close on longer pieces of text).
This one is dedicated to @permanentcross, simply because she’s the best. E has listened to me ramble on and on about this story for longer than anyone should have to. She’s the inspiration behind many things beneath the cut, all of which I will leave up to your own interpretation.
Without further adieu, I present you with Nine Months…
People tend to think that growing up asexual in a conservative Christian home is simple. Your parents don’t want you to have sex, you’re not going to have sex. Simple.
When in fact, it still fucks you up, just in a much subtler way.
Conservative Christians are actually obsessed with sex. It’s no wonder, because sexual feelings are a natural part of the human experience for many people. You have to work hard to do away with something that is a natural part of you. You have to shove it into a little box and every time it slips out (cause it will, you’re human) you have to shove it back in. And then beat yourself up for letting it slip out.
It becomes this mystical force that will ruin your life, unless you let it out at the right time. When there’s a ring on it and not a moment before. Unless of course you’re attracted to the same sex, and in that case, Never.
Everyone knows that puberty is when sexual awakening starts. And if parents want to nip it in the bud they have to stay on top of that shit, and this is the time when most teenagers start considering sex. If you’re a “normal” sexual individual starting to get those urges, you have to sneak around your parents boundaries to pursue or even learn about this stuff. Your parents know that, and are waiting around corners to catch you with promise rings and pamphlets about STDs and passages in the Bible that say “don’t have sex”.
When you’re asexual, you’re watching all this from the outside. You see your peers sneaking round corners, and you don’t really care. When you were twelve your parents said “don’t have sex!” and you said “Ok!” and went back to drawing dragons. Nothing has changed since you became a teenager. But your parents are watching you with hawk eyes, and they’re even more frustrated when they see you showing no interest in sex at all. EVERYONE has sexual urges they have to curb, so you must just be really good at hiding it. So they watch you closer and closer and closer. You saunter round the corner your peers would be sneaking round, and your parents pop out and scream “Were you having sex!?” and you scream “No?!” because you were startled by this ambush and the idea of sex that couldn’t be farther from your mind but they take your vehement denial to be a sign of guilt and they keep pressing and pressing and pressing…
It gets even weirder when you’re assigned female. Cause you can say “I don’t have sexual feelings at all” and your mother will say “you’re a woman, of course you don’t. No woman does.” But they’re still waiting round those corners for you to slip up and do the sex. And they give you this picture of the future that “you’re a woman and you don’t want sex, but men NEED sex they NEED IT SO BAD so it’s something you’re going to have to do to keep your man happy”. If you’ve got a somewhat progressive mother she’ll add, “don’t worry, you’ll love it you’ll have so much fun once you’re married” to keep it from becoming a creepy lay-back-and-think-of-England thing, but it still becomes this thing that people will do TO you. You don’t need to have feelings at all on the matter, it’ll just happen.
Not to mention there’s the idea that marriage is the highest of achievements cause like, God is both male and female so when a male and a female marry they are basically the closest to God they’re ever gonna get. It’s ultimate happiness AND you FINALLY get to have the sex that’s been denied you and how on earth does a kid tell their parents they don’t want what is, for them, the greatest prize in this life?
All these messages are weird as fuck for an asexual kid. You don’t really care about this mystical force, but your parents, your pastor, your church peers, are always shoving it in your face as something awful and wonderful. So you get the idea that it’s something super important you never got the memo for. Just like in mainstream society, where sex is the Best Thing Ever, no one believes you when you say you don’t want it.
All of this has, for me at least, led to severe anxiety surrounding the topics of sex and marriage. It may be different for other people, but I think it’s safe to say that things aren’t simple for any of us when it comes to a heteronormative, sex negative and yet sex obsessed society.