Its so sad that toc’s (teens of color) HAVE to get involved in politics because we HAVE to be aware of our surroundings at all times even in our own homes. White teens can easily live by the “ignorance is bliss” statement but we can’t cause our ignorance would get us killed/prosecuted.
there is seriously nothing like listening to a taylor swift song for the first time. you don’t have it memorized. you don’t know what line she’s about to say. you don’t know how deep the bridge will get. you don’t know if the chorus will take you by surprise. it’s all new, and it’s amazing.
yeah, i have a plan. well, it’s technically more of a scheme, i guess. and you guys have to swear not to tell…anyone with common sense, really.
i’m gonna make a Trashcan Turkey.
what is a Trashcan Turkey, you ask? let me enlighten you to possibly the most brilliant, terrible, wonderful bird-cooking method i have not yet tried. i’ve talked clint and johnny storm into helping me with this, it’s gonna be a disaster.
(this is not to be confused with the Dumpster Bird incident, where sam and clint both wound up in the same dumpster, and then hulk thew the whole thing at an evil giant crab, not knowing they were inside. but don’t worry, they were fine. eventually.)
anyway, a Trashcan Turkey is exactly what it sounds like: a turkey cooked inside a trash can. you take a long, sturdy wooden stake and drive it into the ground (or better yet, take some rebar and weld a crossbeam so the turkey can’t slide down) and then cover the stake and the surrounding ground in tin foil. if you wanna catch the turkey drippings, you can put a bundt cake pan on the ground with the stake in the center. then you mount the turkey on the stake, all seasoned however you like.
then you take a new–and that part’s key–NEW metal trash can and put it top-down over the turkey.
and then you light a bunch of charcoal on fire.
you heap the burning charcoal around the base of the trash can and put more burning charcoal on top. i’d recommend a shovel for that job, if you don’t have a fireproof metal hand or a really flammable inflammable dude to just grab them directly. thanks, johnny.
then you keep it all burning for awhile. i’ve been told that the formula is 1 hour for a 10 pound turkey, plus ten minutes per additional pound.
when the time’s up, you remove the coals and the trash can. that part can be a little dangerous, because everything’s very hot, but again: fireproof friends/hands.
you should have, at that point, a perfectly cooked Trashcan Turkey.
i’m sure why you can see why this is appealing to me. there’s fire, food, potential for disaster–it’s all the most important parts of life combined in one family holiday event.