always good luck

7

It’s been a while since I’ve made a post, and I figured that these tips might be extra helpful with exam season approaching. As someone who struggles a lot with procrastination, I do everything I can to fight the urge to put assignments off until the last minute (even though I’m not always successful). 

As always, good luck! (ᵔᴥᵔ)

updated money second years, may you always be blessed with good luck and fortune 

A Spell to Let Go

💧Intent: to let go of someone you loved because they are no longer adding to your life. For romantic love and friendships.

💧Ingredients
2 glasses
Moon water
snow/snow water/rain water/storm water/ice from your freezer
paper and pen
fire and firesafe bowl


💧The Incantation

I miss you
not for what we are
but
for what we were
and
could have been.
I let go of you completely
so we
can love who we have
more completey
I let go of you completely
As winter comes and goes
of you I let go

💧Instructions
Set up a glass of rain or snow water and a glass of drinkable moon water

Write a letter to your loved one saying everything you will miss about them, everything you love about them, but most importantly, why you are letting go of them.

Burn the letter (or rip it up if you don’t want to set a fire)

Mix the ashes in with the rain/snow water.

Focus right now in this being the last time you put energy into them. You will think about them in passing but you will never dwell on them and never contact them again. Throw the water with the letter in it outside. Throw it, get it away from you.

Go back inside and use that moonwater to make yourselfa glass of tea or coffee. focus on yourself and all the love you have in your life. Put all the energy you were spending back into yourself and your loved ones. Call your sister, text your partner you love them. PUT THAT ENERGY BACK WHERE IT BELONGS.

💧Tips:
The rain water or snow water is supposed to symbolize change, so you can use ice from your freezer if you want. If you forgot to make moon water you can charge some water with Selenite nearby, or just use tap water.

It may take multiple spells throughout the process of letting go of them. Letting go of someone you loved and shared your life with is so hard, and its going to take time. Don’t panic if this spell doesn’t work right away. It will eventually, or a different one will, or you will let go of them in a mundane way.

As always, good luck! 🌱

anonymous asked:

Do u know any fics where Sherlock is jealous?

NONNNNYYYYYY YES. 

I love Jealous Sherlock so much. I know I’m missing a tonne of them here, but these are the ones I could quickly find or remember being Jealous!Sherlock! I’m also adding Possessive Sherlock here as well, because I LOVE LOVE LOVE “his / My John” SO SO MUCH and literally I fave every fic that has it in there. GUH. 

JEALOUS SHERLOCK

  • Unimpressed by 221b_hound (M, 3106 w.) – Sherlock has no intention of attending the Met’s New Year’s Eve party. The start of a new year is all but meaningless to him. But he ends up there anyway, having odd conversations, and John does not find Sherlock’s jealousy the slightest bit cute. And then there is dancing. Part 10 of Unkissed
  • Unforgiven by 221b_hound (M, 4721 w.) – Sherlock’s latest case is for his ex boyfriend, the brilliant and handsome Professor Victor Trevor. John is not too happy about that. But things aren’t what they seem, an old friend of John’s is involved in the case, and John has a few surprises up his sleeve. Also - a proposal! Part 16 of Unkissed
  • Mine (He Says While Still Being Smol) by beejohnlocked (E, 1,319 w.) – A suspect flirts with John. Sherlock gets a bit jealous. Okay, a LOT jealous.
  • Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w.) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they’ve made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.
  • For you, there’s only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w.) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock’s part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there’s only John.
  • Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w.) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock’s, and Sherlock can’t figure out why he’s so incensed about it.
  • Velvet by headlessjess (G, 1,155 w.) – It’s the day, the wedding day - John and Mary, getting married. And then there’s Sherlock, in pain and in love, without knowing how to deal with it.
  • 5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w.) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He’s charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?
  • Five Times John Noticed But Didn’t Really by ScandalousMinds (T, 6,383 w.) – 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock’s relationship but really missed the obvious.
  • The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w.) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a “harmless” virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.
  • Surety by hudders (G, 2,477w.) – “Sherlock is pissed because it seems that four pints of larger, two shots of tequila and a glass of wine has resulted in Lestrade becoming a little bit too friendly with everyone. And by everyone, Sherlock really means John.”
  • Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w.) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.
  • Correspondence by Cleo2010 (T, 8031 w.) – Sherlock’s been spirited away on a case for Mycroft. Part of the deal was that he and John could communicate via letter until the case was completed. Maybe the cliche is true, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or perhaps something is growing on the feet in the fridge. Read their letters month by month. Written after series one.
  • Presence by LostGirl (M, 8625 w.) – Sherlock has recently noticed a shift in his own perceptions, but he can’t quite figure out when it started.
  • Obsession, Appassionato by shinychimera, Yeomanrand (E, 4,249 w.) – John is late, and he hasn’t called, and Sherlock works himself into a state. Part 1 of Love and Ysaye (FAVE!!)
  • Interlude by sussexbound (SamanthaLenore) (G, 2,837w.) – “Are you actually doing anything?” Sherlock scowls. “What?” “Are you busy? Because if not, I could use your help peeling potatoes.” “I’m not eating what you’re making. Why should I peel the potatoes?” John just shakes his head. “Because it might be a polite and thoughtful thing to do for the person who loves you. Just a tip.”Oh…Part 8 of The Homecoming
  • Understanding by sussexbound (SamanthaLenore) (T, 4,556 w.) – John’s face stretches into a smile that fades again, just as quickly. “It just comes like that, sometimes—all of a sudden. You don’t expect it.” He murmurs against Sherlock’s skin. “What does?” “Grief.” Part 9 of The Homecoming
  • Sibling Rivalry Or Fighting Over John Watson by Jessa7 (T, 8K+ w., Romance and Humour, FFNet) – Mycroft is just as much of a genius as Sherlock is. He keeps randomly kidnapping John for chats, and the locations get better. Cue Sherlock’s younger sibling complex rearing up and jealousy ensues.
  • Come Home by hudders-and-hiddles (E, 3,763 w. | more pining than jealous but close enough) – When John leaves for a medical conference, Sherlock tries to entice him back home.
  • The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] by canolacrush (M, 41,710 | Cockblocking Sherlock) – “Look at these photographs,” I said, gesturing to the wall of crop circles. “What do you observe?”“Crop circles,” John replied.“Obvious. What else?”“Are…are those intestines surrounding them?”“Yes. The majority are bovine and ovine in origin. The farmers who have acquired these crop circles in their fields have also had a tenth of their livestock murdered and arranged thus.”“Why?” John said, presumably in a rhetorical fashion.I detest rhetorical questions. “That is what I must find out, John.”
  • Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w.) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he’s NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won’t change anything between them. And then it does.
  • That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (Sher_locked_up) (E | 35,353 w.) - Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody’s happy. [[I really like this one. Jealous John AND Sherlock and lots of Angst]].
  • Paparazzi by SilentAuror (E, 10,543 w.) – John moves back into 221B Baker Street after his marriage falls apart and the paparazzi won’t leave him and Sherlock alone about the status of their supposed relationship. Sherlock, of course, never denies it, until one day he does…
  • Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835w) – Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!) (FAVE!) 

OBSESSIVE / POSSESSIVE SHERLOCK

  • Perdition’s Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, Treklock, 63,435 w., | mild Possessive Sherlock) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe
  • The Things You Hide *Adult Edition* by verityburns (E, 10,821 w.) – Sherlock and John have been working and living together for nearly a year, each finding the other’s friendship to be the one thing they would not risk or want to live without. Until something happens to disturb the status quo…
  • Let Go by thisisforyou (G, 2,743 w.) – In the end, separating John’s things from Sherlock’s in the chaos of their sitting room is like pulling a limpet from a wet rock. Especially when the rock is clinging on for dear life, because Sherlock doesn’t want to let go. 
  • In the cherry blossom’s shade by Eliane (M, 3,934 w.) – “This isn’t new. Sherlock has already done this – has gone through cities, and dingy hotels, and sleepless nights but it was different before. John wasn’t there before. They’re in this together.”
  • The Marriage Proposal Negotiation by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 2161 w.) –  Sherlock hasn’t ever really done anything the traditional way, so of course it wouldn’t bother him to propose to John even though they’re not even dating. And the fact that John is already on a date with someone else when he decides to do it? Tedious. Marrying John was the only thing he could do to ensure John was his.
  • The Light of Day by allonsys_girl (M, 7297 w.) – Rewrite of the end of Sign of Three. John actually notices Sherlock leaving the reception early, and chases after him. Angsty Johnlock. Happy ending, for sure. Part 1 of The Light of Day
  • Let the Sun Fade Out by nothingislittle (E, 2711 w.) – “He could warm the sun itself, Sherlock thinks, could heat their flat with just his presence, could brighten the room with one dazzling smile or just the sparkling in his eyes. Everything hurts when John looks this beautiful, but it’s a dulcet, aching pain, one that consumes Sherlock from the inside, that sends soft pangs through his abdomen and lodges a lump solidly in his throat. John glows, he glitters, he’s light itself, Sherlock thinks, and doesn’t even bother to scold himself for exaggerating, because he’s not, he’s not, John is everything, he’s beautiful and he shines, he’s everything.”
  • On a Sunday Morning by SD_Ryan for jimmytiberius (G, 3136 w.) – Sherlock has a little problem. He can’t stop obsessing about John Watson.
  • His by I’m Nova (T, 1K+ w., Humour & H/C) – Sherlock doesn’t share what he’s fond of. (FAVE!!)
  • Foresight by niffler09 (K, 2K+w) – It’s raining and neither John nor Sherlock have an umbrella so they huddle under Sherlock’s coat. And then Mycroft walks past and makes smartass remarks. (FAVE!!)
  • Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850w. H/c & Friendship) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

As I’ve said in the past, all my rec lists are of fics I’ve read, so I’m sure I’m missing a tonne more that are probably on my MFL list, but please feel free to add your own recs! 

O SHIT IT’S GIVEAWAY TIME!


What: Black Lion TP and Black Lion Gemstore Giveaway bc shiny and new!

  • Any Black Lion Gemstore item(s) 2500 gems or less
  • Any Trading Post item 1000 gold or less

Who: Anyone can reblog or like (one entry for each), following isn’t require but I have pretty salads and a day-glow Asura just sayin’

When: Six days - March 20th, 2017 @ 20:00 PST is the cutoff (to get rad stuff)

Winner: One winner! Number generator will be used.  Will be contacted via Tumblr unless display name is in the tags. Have 24 hours to reply back before another will be chosen. Gifts can be split between friends, and guildies, or however winner sees fit! 


Disclaimer: please only one like and reblog per person. Multiple blogs is ok, but just one, don’t spam your followers. No giveaway blogs please. Any questions hmu I’m here always!

Good luck, your odds are better here than with the Mystic Forge!

18 gladnis icons for the lovely holowbastion

  • uuuuh you know how it works
  • please don’t repost/claim as your own or I’ll cry.
  • no need to credit me, just enjoy!
  • like/reblog are super appreciated.
2

we need you.

[caption: two gifs of raven and bellamy from the 100. first in season one, bellamy says to raven with a smile: “see? we need you.” raven smiles just slightly after he’s left the tent. then in season four, raven stares at bellamy intently as he says: “we don’t need alie on the ark. we need you.” bellamy watches her soundly as she takes in his words. on both gifs the text is in white all caps, in the top gif at the very bottom and in the bottom gif at the very top of the image.]

170226 Leo Twitter Reply Compilation

☆ But I really think I was born lucky. I think I always have good luck. I hope only good things will happen until the end. Of course I’ll make my own happiness! hing I miss you, oppa. It seems like so long that I haven’t seen you.. Your face is just haunting meㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: just haunting you?

☆ wow
Leo: wow

☆ Let’s get married Jung Taekwoon
Leo: Why?

☆ omg oppaㅜㅜㅠㅜㅠㅜㅜㅠ
Leo: What

☆ I want to see you so much I could die Jung Taekwoon
Leo: You shouldn’t die

☆ omg I was just listening to Words to Say and you are here now 8ㅅ8
Leo: keep listening

☆ Taekwoon-ahㅠㅠㅜㅠㅜㅜㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠI’m being haunted but can’t see you When will I see you?????? Why can’t I see you in front of me
Leo: come here

☆ omg oppa omg
Leo: omg what

☆ Oh my Have a good night
Leo: Sleep is a long way off

☆ Wut are you doing
Leo: working

☆ OMG Oppa, you came at Sanghyuk o’clock
Leo: I came at the wrong time
T/N: The month and day of the members’ birthdays correlate to their “time of day” in hours and minutes.

☆ Daeguni, are you not eating dinner..?
Leo: Your picture is sort of burdensome
T/N: Their dp is N looking into a camera shot at an odd angle.

☆ omg omg I was having a hard time, but now I’m so happy to see youㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: Why are you having a hard time

☆ omg What is this Oppa All of a sudden omg What’s this What!!!!!!!!!
Leo: Change your picture
T/N: Their dp is a picture of Leo yawning.

☆ OMG It’s Jung Taekwoon
Leo: It’s me

☆ I can’t have something like the good fortune of getting a reply right~~~~
Leo: Here, good fortune

☆ Oppa, what are you doing recently? Have you been well?
Leo: I’ve been working

☆ DaebakjeokㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜThanks for coming
Leo: What is daebakjeok
T/N: Daebakjeok is basically “amazing”

☆ I almost lost my breathㅠㅠㅠ Oppa, would you like to eat ramyun?
Leo: If it’s Shin Ramyun

☆ Oppa where are you?? I miss youㅠㅠ It’s been so wong since I’ve seen youㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: Is this aegyo?

☆ Today is work and giving a recitation
Leo: work work work

☆ Hello It’s me Are you doing well there~~
Leo: very well

☆ Oppa, can you tell me when the concert will be this year so I can plan my vacation?ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I almost overlapped it with the concert last year
Leo: When will it be

☆ Pleeease release a 2nd LR album….
Leo: Is this a confession all of a sudden

☆ Are you sick at all?ㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: I’m very healthy

☆ What are you doing recently?
Leo: I’m working recently

☆ ㅜㅜㅜNoo …… You left I’ll send this praying that next time I get a reply ㅜㅜ I just can’t let you go!!!!
Leo: I haven’t gone

☆ Oppa disappeared so quietly…….. Someday me too…..crying
Leo: I’ll disappear soon 😶

☆ During the semester, no matter how busy I am, I’ll send mentions to you one at a time. This is my plan! I don’t know whether you will read it or not, but if happen to read it I hope I can be a little of your strength. I hope you always smile 😊
Leo: Good luck on your new semester!

☆ You don’t have to reply, so please just lookㅠㅠ The daily temperature range is huge, so wear warm clothes! Don’t be hurt! While waiting for the next comeback I’ll study hard! I’ll do my best and look over you! Goodbye!
Leo: Thanks

☆ Hellow!!! Mr. Jung Taekwoon!! Please say something to the office workers who have to go to work tomorrow!!!!!!!
Leo: I go to work everyday

☆ Hello〜I’m sending this from Japan It’s so hardㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠbecause I’m busy with workㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: Thanks
T/N: Leo replied in Japanese

☆ Oppa, please say that my class assignment will turn out well…🙏
Leo: Class assignments are up to the heavens

☆ Leo-saーーーーーーn
Leo: Why
T/N: In Japanese

☆ Good evening (=^^=) Did you eat?
Leo: Not yet
T/N: In Japanese

☆ You are really the kindest person in the world .. Thank you
Leo: You all mean that to me too

Leo (@JUNGTW_LEO):

잠깐이지만 오늘도 재밌었어. 모두 감기 조심합시다!

It was just a short time, but today was fun. Everyone, let’s be careful of colds!

Someone once asked me why I choose people who have hurt me and keep choosing them.

I remember him now, he had the best of intentions and eyes too hard to walk through, eyes I thought I was strong enough to walk through. He hadn’t been hurt yet, not too bad, like a hero on page 63. He told me I was better than what I gave myself. I told him something to distract him.

The people I choose are callous and cold. They’ve hurt me more than the people who tried their hardest to. Sometimes those friends are enemies. That’s the point – that’s why it cuts through your bone – because you don’t expect it to. You let people in and they let you down and you keep them buried deep down in the hollowness of your stomach that looks like a peach pit to them and a black hole to you. They’ve seen the worst of you now and you don’t trust them to see anything else.

I want them to open me up. No, rewind, I want the hero to open me up. I think we’d be blood brothers in another world, in this world, and I think his palms on my bloodied lungs will make them hurt less, so I tell him to grab them and squeeze. I want him to understand how fragile we all are on the inside. I want him to find out with me. I want him to sew me up, do a shit job with the needle and regret ever trying. I want him to keep choosing me even though he knows how badly he hurt me.

Friendship survives everything. Friendship can’t survive anything, hero, you know that. You know that the sutures will come undone and you’ll have to keep putting my lungs back twice, three times, until the fourth time when you’re too busy to pick up my call and I have to find someone else to do it for you. They take your place. Blood only flows for so long. Blood doesn’t stay purple and blue forever. The person who took your place stops returning my calls. I pick up the needle and thread myself.

Are you still the hero if you make a mistake? Are you still the hero if you hurt someone and they won’t call you back? Are you still the hero if you don’t want to be anymore? My voice is gonna keep shaking. My heart is gonna keep beating. No matter how many times the phone doesn’t ring, my blood will still flow through my tired lungs, even if it does so without you.

So, hero, ask me again. Why do you choose people who have hurt you and keep choosing them? Because the ones who love me the most are the ones who scar forever and I can’t fathom the idea of ever being alone.

—  the hero survives in this one, ver. 2, by windy sharpe

anonymous asked:

Hello! Morally corrupt anon from like a month or two ago lol. You've helped me sooo much with the issues I've had, allowing me to ACTUALLY WRITE! So thank you! Buuut, I do have another question, this one requiring a TW for abuse, unfortunately. How do I correctly write the MC abusing her boyfriend physically and mentally, yet she manages to make him come back to her many, many times? Thank you!

I’m so glad I was able to help you, love!  Thanks for continuing to follow me :)  This is an interesting question, which I’ve been eager to answer for a few days now!

CONTENT WARNING: This post contains the discussion of physical and mental abuse.  I’ve tagged it for TWs, but if this topic is upsetting to you, please scroll past! 


Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

So first, I’m gonna drop a link in for my post on the different causes behind abusive behavior.  The reason behind your MC’s behavior affects the kind of abuse, as well as their S.O.’s ability to justify it.  The less you understand the heart behind your MC’s behavior, the more difficult it’ll be to portray it realistically.

But shameless self-promotion aside – there are a few different reasons that people stay in (or return to) abusive relationships, and some of them probably won’t fit with some character personalities.  Consider your character’s strengths, weaknesses, and personal desires as you read these options.  These are also numbered for easy navigation, not as a most-to-least common list.

1. Fear

Fear is one of the chief reasons for a person to stay in a bad relationship, primarily because fear is a common consequence of abuse.  If the abuse is physical, the abused person may be afraid of being harmed if they were to break off the relationship.  Even if the abuse is non-physical, there is fear of how the MC will react; an abuser may, depending on the type of abuse, lash out verbally, damage the victim’s property, share secrets or lies about the victim, release sensitive material (e.g. nudes), or even threaten to harm themselves/commit suicide as a means of manipulating the victim into staying.

Going further, the abused person’s fear may not have anything to do with the abuser.  They could be afraid of loneliness or living alone.  Some people remain in bad relationships to avoid dating again, having to find a new apartment/job/school in order to separate from the abuser, or simply standing up for themselves and having that conversation with the abuser.  It may be as simple as a fear of change itself,

These issues are most common with (but not exclusive to): dominant/submissive relationships, in which the victim is aware they’re being abused.


2. Codependency

Codependency is more commonly a result of mental/emotional abuse, and it inconspicuously gives the abuser a lot of power.  It runs as a two-way street, sometimes both ways at the same time – the victim may feel dependent on the abuser, or they may feel that the abuser is dependent on them.  In any case, breaking up is more of a matter of “Can I?” instead of “Should I?”

Codependency develops in a few different ways.  If the abuser makes a habit of insulting or belittling the victim, controlling them, or isolating them from other support systems, the victim will begin to feel a different kind of attachment to their abuser – one borne of necessity.  Abuse puts the victim in a constant place of defense, or “survival mode”.  If the abuser erases all other parts of the victim’s life, so that their only comfort can come from the abuser, the victim will feel incapable of “surviving” without them.

The other kind of codependency, though, is a reversal; the abuser, manipulating the victim consciously or not, presents themselves too weak, mentally unstable, misunderstood, or isolated to “survive” without the victim.  This places a feeling of responsibility on the victim, prompting them to be a “good boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner” and stand by them.  They may even like the feeling of taking care of their abuser.  The responsibility may even take over their life, until they feel that without their abuser to maintain, they’d have no direction or purpose.

These issues are most common with (but not exclusive to): relationships where one member is more responsible or controlling and the other is more emotionally unstable or unconfident.  It may be that the victim has a history of being taken care of or having to take care of loved ones, making this less of a manipulation and more of a natural (but still unhealthy) reaction.


3. Normalization

In many cases, victims of abuse can be wide awake to their situation – everyone around them could be telling them they need to get out of the relationship, that this treatment isn’t deserved or fair – and yet, they don’t leave their abuser.  Rather, they normalize the treatment, or believe the abuser when they tell the victim it’s normal.  They may buy into the idea that the abusive behavior is: A) a typical reaction, B) an abnormal but fair reaction, or C) a reaction forced by the victim’s “mistakes” or “shortcomings”.

Normalization can be a result of poor self-esteem – a belief that the victim doesn’t deserve better, because this treatment is good enough – and is often exacerbated by a lack of trust in anyone other than their abuser.  It can cause the victim to isolate themselves from friends/family, or even from anything that shows a “fairytale relationship” – TV, movies, music, books, etc.

These issues are most common with (but not exclusive to): people with avoidant personalities or kind/forgiving types.  It’s most prevalent in extremely young relationships (when the victim has no other romantic experience) or in mid-life relationships (when the victim is willing to settle for fear of being alone).


4. Shame

When a person first experiences abuse, it’s a shocking (and often humiliating) experience.  They may not immediately speak out about their experience, nor will they always confront their abuser about it.  This leads to the victim allowing abuse to continue, and the longer this goes on, the more embarrassing it can be for the victim to leave the relationship – especially if the abuse is physical and has left evidence of the mistreatment.  Even if they don’t tell anyone about the abuse, the victim may be afraid that their abuser will talk about the relationship to friends or family.

There’s also the case of the victim telling their loved ones about the abuse, in which case the loved ones would advise them to leave.  If the victim ignores their advice and stays in the relationship, they may be embarrassed to later admit they were wrong.  In another vein, the victim may feel ashamed of how they acted or treated others in defense of their abuser.  Bad relationships can create rifts in families, friendships, or non-platonic relationships (potential lovers or ex-lovers for example).

These issues are most common with (but not exclusive to): people with pride or insecurity in their image, as well as stubborn or private people.  This seems more obviously applicable to physically or sexually abusive relationships, but can be common with verbal/emotional abuse (as this kind of abuse is considered “mild” or not even “true abuse” by some people).


5. Love

I saved the worst for last.  When the victim is in love with their abuser, leaving the relationship becomes even harder to accomplish.  Love can inspire the victim to justify, support, and defend their abuser’s actions – and love being the passionate feeling it is, convincing the victim that they’re being abused can be that much more difficult.  Victims who love their abusers can misinterpret abuse as an expression of love, which, even once they’re out of the relationship, can damage their view of love and respect.  It can lead to future abusive relationships, and in some cases, to the victim become an abuser to someone else.

On the other hand, love can also blind the victim to the abuse, causing them to focus on the “good times” and good qualities of the abuser.  The victim can go into complete denial, lying to others about their treatment and getting defensive when loved ones ask about the abuser.  The victim may believe that they can change the abuser, or that the abuse is only due to a tough time – the abuser’s stress, or their own “bad behavior”.  And ultimately, the victim may be hesitant to leave for fear of never loving anyone the same again.

These issues are most common with (but not exclusive to): dreamer types, romantic types, or longstanding relationships that develop into abusive relationships.


A final note: Your question was specific to returning to an abusive relationship multiple times, so I want to add that once an abused person gets the nerve up to leave their abuser, there will likely be a (perhaps brief) victory period before they return to the relationship.  This is usually sparked by some emotional compromise (getting fired, getting dumped, or any feeling of rejection, loneliness, or need) which sends them back to the abuser for comfort.  It won’t just be a situation of leaving and coming back, back and forth.  There has to be a reason for every change.

Anyway, this post was long as hell, but I hope this helps you!  If any of my followers have something to add, I’ll gladly signal boost it :)  If you have any more questions, my inbox is always open.  If not, good luck!


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

Musical!Matsu Profiles: Karamatsu Matsuno

Name: Karamatsu Matsuno

Age: 17

Average Grade: C+ to B

Senior Quote: “Opinions are like mixtapes, I don’t want to hear yours.”

Teacher comments: 

His voice is like an angel from abov-eh Matsuno, I cant read your writing..”- Anonymous

“Drama king.”- Anonymous

“Perfect student in music class! Straight As and always participated! Good luck Matsuno!!” - Mr White

Peer comments:

“You’re cool,,Idjit.” - Chib-Anonymous

“Despite your really ugly handwriting and awful note taking, you’re an..alright brother. I guess you’ll get..somewhere in life.” - Choromatsu

hello hello i wanted to do a giveaway to celebrate getting followers so here we are

what you can win

1st place
- one full color commission (up to 2 characters)
- set of 4 stickers (small) from my redbubble
- a free charm which is currently being reprinted but looks like this except on wood:

2nd place
one full color commission (one character)

3rd place
- one small poster or art print from my redbubble (you can request any existing art that is not on the store yet if the resolution is big enough!)

Rules
- reblog to enter! Likes don’t count so please don’t like this post. It makes picking a winner more time consuming.
- must follow me 
- winners will be picked by a random generator
- winners will be picked on April 19th.

art tag is here for examples!

if you are not comfortable with giving me your address and you win a physical gift we can always work something out!

Good luck!

This is fun!
7000 divides equally into 7 days… 
= 1000 jumping jacks a day!
Which you could split up into 1/2′s!
500 Jumping Jacks in the morning ( to wake you up! )
500 Jumping Jacks at night!  ( to tire out, and help you fall asleep! )
= 1 extra lbs a week!

Losing weight will vary from person to person, 1lb is a average number but this also means this could lead to ever MORE weight loss for some people! How exciting!

Work hard, stick to your goals, and as always…

GOOD LUCK PRETTY GIRLS!  ♥

My Blog Archive - More Diet Tips and Tricks!