always funky

My epic list of casual curses

A few months ago, someone broke my heart by dumping me for another girl.  In my sadness, I unleashed an outpour of 86 casual curses on my facebook wall as a way of venting my feelings.

Here is that list.

May you bite into a big chunk of garlic so your mouth feels funny for the next few days.

May a condom commercial come on tv while you’re in the room with your girlfriends dad.

May you stub your toe on every piece of furniture in your apartment.

May you over-salt every meal you try to cook.

May all of your pillows smell of feet.

May your toast always burn, and may no amount of scraping remove the black parts.

May your pen leak all over a drawing that was coming along really well.

May your teeth become very cold-sensitive.

May your mailbox be clogged with advertisements.

May you clog the toilet the first time you go to a new friends house.

May you always have an unsettling feeling of bugs crawling all over you when you’re trying to fall asleep.

May you always step in a funky-colored liquid after putting on socks.

May your ice cream always be frost burnt.

May every vending machine eat or reject your dollar.

May that “silent” fart come out surprisingly loudly.

May you develop erectile dysfunction.

May you step on a d4

May every toilet seat you sit on be either uncomfortably cold or uncomfortably warm.

May the elastic on all of your underwear give out.

May you always have a zit right on the inside of your nostril.

May you always have to pee while a cat is sitting on your lap.

May your next-door neighbor buy a set of bagpipes and practice every night until 4 in the morning.

May your favorite sweater shrink in the dryer.

May you get busted for illegally downloading something.

May you always have that feeling of having to sneeze.

May you fart in the middle of making out with someone.

May all of your favorite shows and movies be removed from Netflix.

May you get an un-hideable hickey right before you go visit your grandmother.

May there always be a pebble in your shoe.

May you spill your drink in your lap so it looks like you peed yourself. May this happen right before a date.

May your significant other forget your birthday.

May you run out of toilet paper, paper towels, and kleenex, and then get food poisoning.

May you always lose your chapstick.

May a flock of noisy geese start hanging out right outside of your bedroom window.

May the delivery guy always forget your drink.

May you take a giant drink of milk right out of the carton, only to discover its gone bad.

May your cup runneth over… with hot coffee.

May Autocorrect punish you.

May you always overdraft your bank account by like a dollar and have to pay a stupidly large fee.

May you find something really gross in the bottom of your cup of coffee after you’ve already finished it.

May you be the one to discover that there is a hole in the oven mitt.

May you step on this ungodly hybrid. (picture of a lego with a thumbtack stuck through it).

May you have an unforgivable Freudian slip.

May your roommate get addicted to a really irritating song and play it constantly.

May your most embarrassing tumblr post go viral.

May you be cursed with ingrown hairs that look like herpes.

May you suddenly become uncomfortably aware of your tongue.

May you get the hiccups during a phone interview for a job you really want.

May every surface you touch be sticky.

May your acne never go away.

May you always die in a video game just before you reach a checkpoint.

May your life develop a laugh track.

May your laundry always come out of a dryer a little bit damp.

May your favorite book be adapted into a terrible movie.

May you get a blister on the side of your pinkie toe.

May the spoon fall into the bowl every time you eat soup.

May you have to close every open tab because you can’t figure out where the music is coming from.

May you slice your finger while cutting up a lemon.

May you hit every red light.

May that unreachable spot on your back always itch.

May someone set the child censorship thingy on your netflix account.

May the YMCA song get stuck in your head for the next six months.

May all of your exes suddenly get really really hot.

May you develop a persistent itch on the inside of your nose.

May netflix cut out on you every few minutes for the rest of your life.

May you always get called in to work on your day off.

May you never find a job in your chosen field.

May your name become synonymous with the word “asshole” in someones circle of friends.

May all the cheese and toppings fall off of your pizza.

May you suddenly become lactose intolerant.

And gluten intolerant.

May you always think of epic comebacks two hours after an argument.

May your water heater suddenly crap out in the middle of winter.

May every table or chair you sit on/at have uneven legs.

May you never find a comfortable sleeping position again.

May you accidentally send a sexy text message to your mom.

May you always wake up two minutes before your alarm goes off.

May your roommate suddenly develop a habit of chewing way too loudly.

May every book or TV series you ever watch get spoiled.

May every selfie you post for the rest of your life get zero likes.

May the barista always give you decaf by accident.

May you always burn your tongue on your hot chocolate so you can’t even taste it.

May a bee fly into your mouth while you’re biking.

May someone always flick a cigarette butt into your can of soda. Even if nobody’s in the room with you.

May all of your favorite videos on youtube get deleted.

May you always end up in the line for the slowest cashier.

I hope that from here to eternity, every time you try to download something, your computer crashes when its at 99%

The moral is, never cheat on me.  And feel free to use any of these in your everyday life.

Do you ever like… get the urge to a write a fic that you loved/wanted to write/experience as a child? Like… “girl falls into middle earth” is such a cliche and I know they’re generally looked down upon it seems in the lotr fandom but… I loved those as a small child because that’s exactly what i wanted more than anything: to go the middle earth. So… I’m doing my past child self a solid and writing a girl falls into middle-earth fic. Cause she deserves it.

anonymous asked:

a quick survey, if you'd allow it. so the discourse about vicchan's name: victor and viktor. do you and other readers mind when a story spells victor with a k or not? just genuinely curious because im inspecting ao3 and there's a spread between the c and k. i honestly dont mind either, but im curious for you guys. Thanks!

i used to spell it viktor because it was “”“correct”“” then i embraced the victor spelling because im just more comf widdit when i’m writing

but when i’m reading i honestly dont mind it with a k or a c either way!!!

Look i’m glad that this week we get news that Carrie and Mark will be honored as Disney legends and that we will still see Leia in Episode IX.


And my recent skimming through the Twilight Company novel wherein you see the Empire capitalize the literal majority of their forces on hunting Leia and Luke???


You can’t just erase the Skywalker twins. I mean look at the 40th anniversary logo.



LUKE.

AND.

LEIA.

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won’t cry, I won’t cry
No, I won’t shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

I must be the under-the-carpet, dirty little secret (58 minutes)

A Macdennis playlist of songs they would listen to, and some they might not.

Best Friend - Modern Baseball // Higher Love - Steve Winwood // Let’s Hear It For The Boy - Deniece Willaiams // Run - Jr. Jr. // The Beers - The Front Bottoms // Borderline - Madonna // All Night Long (All Night) - Lional Richie // The Longest Time - Billy Joel // Show Some Emotion - Hoodoo Gurus // Drunk - Ed Sheeran // Can’t Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon // Tears Over Beers - Modern Baseball // Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha // Fooled Around and Fell In Love - Elvin Bishop // Sleeping with a Friend - Neon Trees // PILLOWTALK - ZAYN 

(listen)

Instagram Jeongguk (7/7)

Snapchat Jin | Tumblr Yoongi | Periscope Namjoon | Viner Hoseok | Twitter Jimin | Youtuber Taehyung | Instagram Jeongguk 

  • Art Hoe to the max like he has kånken and carries a journal around with his favourite copic markers and always has funky socks on and messy hair and is carrying coffee
  • HE OWNS SO MANY PLANTS HIS APARTMENT IS FULL OF PLANTS AND ART
  • His feed is IMMACULATE
  • Like honestly it’s so pretty and flawless and every single person who sees it loves it
  • Has a few tiny tattoos which he designed himself
  • Does cute little doodles and posts them but they’re honestly sooo cute
  • Wasn’t really into posting selfies for ages because he was more about the art side of things but was peer pressured into it by Tumblr User!Yoongi who was salty bc Jimin made him post a selfie on tumblr
  • Everyone died bc !?!?!!! HOLY FUCK HE’S HOT!?!?!?
  • After that positive reaction he began to post more selfies or candid shots
  • Always carrying a camera around ??? like always??
  • Loves taking candid shots of his friends and posting them
  • Half the time he’s behind the camera filming Jin’s snapchat stories or helping to film Tae’s video or direct it because he’s such an artistic person things always turn out well
  • He has a YouTube channel which he hardly uses, sometimes does videos with Taehyung or a sped up art tutorial or a lookbook or some shit 
  • Theres also his Twitter which he basically uses just to tweet out his periscope links but he has quite a following on both of those as well 
  • Always gets in mini social media wars with twitter!Jimin 
  • One time he featured in Namjoon’s periscope and it was just them talking to people as Namjoon remixed some song and Jeongguk drew a quick sketchy cover art so he could post it to soundcloud or whatever and everyone was like !!!! show us more of this Jeon kid!!!!
  • So he made his own periscope (called JeonArt) and just posts videos of him doing art related things like sketching or painting a picture 
  • Sometimes he takes requests and like draws people just because he can
  • HE WAS SUCH A PURE ANGEL AND DOING IT FOR FREE UNTIL PEOPLE F O R C E D HIM TO OPEN A FUCKING STORE AND MAKE SOME DAMN MONEY OFF HIS SKILLS
  • He sometimes posts those paint mixing videos everyone was obsessed with on instagram
  • Like definitely one of the most followed instagrams he’s verified and everything 
  • One time jimin and yoongi hacked his account and posted a meme and ruined his feed and he didn’t talk to them for wEEKS like they had to apologise to him so many times 
  • He tries to reply to everyone’s questions in the comments and so after posting he sits there for like 15 minutes just replying to people he’s such a sweetheart ok
  • He loves organizing people’s accounts and setting up themes for people and recommending editing apps 
  • One time he featured on hoseoks Snapchat and was dancing like hella well and everyone was like ???? Dude is there anything you cANT do ?! 
  • Actually gets along rly well with all the other boys like everyone loves him
  • Once on Snapchat seokjin referred to him as his “literal offspring. I gave birth to Jeon Jeongguk. NAMJOON IS the father. Taehyungs our pet and Yoongi is the bitter old grandad who needs to hurry up and die.” 
  • Kim Seokjin I swear to-” 
  • Yoongi! Let go of my mother!
  • In conclusion instagram!jeongguk is very artistic, meticuluate and loves doing things for his friends and helping them out whenever he can with his various skills

infectedbiebers  asked:

oh! and also do u know any high street shop/online store that sells funky jeans that arent £9844748???

Well, @hadidscloset has a “bellasbottoms” tag and on the desktop version of their website they’ll link you to affordable matches to what Bella has. I think dollskill has cool clothes in general that are very Bellaesque (shes worn some stuff from them before actually) and raggedpriest always has really funky jeans! Ragged is like £50-80 depending on the jean and then they have 10% off your first order, so they’re a little pricier but their stuff is soooo cool, imo.