A/N: Sorry I haven’t been posting much, and I realized when re-reading this chapter that it sounded better in my head. Unfortunately that’s how all of my stories go, but I hope you enjoy.
J sat in his office, once again feeling like something was missing. He let himself accept the fact that he enjoyed his sessions with Dr. L/N, they were amusing and a nice way to take up time. He wanted to see what she’d be like if she were crazy, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that for reasons unknown to him. The only reason she was still living today was because she was too innocent, the world would destroy her soon enough, so what’s the point in killing her? At least that’s what he told himself. But if the world has yet to destroy her, how long would that take? Maybe she’s just one of those Harvey Dent types. Do-gooders. But even he broke. What would it take for her to?
J slammed his pen down on his desk, no longer concentrated on his plans. Oh, what the hell. Let’s see how my deaf doctor is doing.
Frost had hacked into her computer microphone just in case, knowing how his boss gets. Still, he’s never seen him with this type of obsession before.
Oh, tape over the camera? Nice one, Y/N. The world has taught you something after all. J spent the day stalking her on her computer, and found amusement in joining an online dating website for the deaf. He was pissed when he found out she was doing this, trying to forget about him, get her life together. He knew she was disappointed that he didn’t take her with him, but how happy would she be after he slammed those electrodes against her head? Granted, it wasn’t for long, but he’s done worse.
J giggled as he chatted with her under a fake name, telling her all of the peaceful hobbies he likes and his personality. He laughed out loud when he noticed she didn’t go for the nice guys. Typical, Y/N, typical. Guess you’re missing me as well.
Y/N sipped on her drink, leisurely looking through the website. There weren’t many deaf people in Gotham, and the few they had weren’t interesting. Nice, but uninteresting. She rolled her eyes, her head lazily laying in her hand while she chewed on her straw. Why not give on a shot? It would be a nice way to forget about what happened, and she’s learned her lesson about going after the bad-boys. It still stung when she opened her eyes to see police officers hovering over her, knowing he left her, but what did she expect? If she got anything from those sessions, it was that he cared for himself more than others, being his doctor wouldn’t change that. Her boss gave her some time off, which she gladly took, because she needed to find herself, think about how she’d never get close to a patient like that again. The disappointment she felt in herself hurt almost as bad as finding out he left her. She sighed as she sat up from her slouching position and started typing.
A flashing out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she did a double take. Someone was at her door. No one ever visits her, and alarms were going off in her head. She wasn’t exactly dressed for company anyway, in her oversized shirt and panties. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she wondered if she could ignore it, she would have a reasonable excuse anyway, right? What if someone’s hurt? Y/N huffed at her good natured personality and ran to the door, taking a few deep breaths before opening it.
J knocked on Y/N’s door. He busied himself by straightening his tie and running a hand through his hair. His eyes looked down and he saw a light flashing under the door, and he smirked. The door opened to reveal Y/N in an oversized shirt and nothing else.
“Hello, darling.” He flashed her a boyish smile, causing her eyes to widen and she slammed the door in his face. He growled, but to his surprise she opened it up a second later.
“What are you doing here?” She snapped before grabbing him and pulling him inside.
“I can’t come see-” He pauses and rolls his eyes when he notices she’s not looking at him. He takes his time to check out her paranoid ass as she leans out of the doorway to see if anyone is around.
“I can’t come see my delightful deaf doctor?” Her eyes narrow but she still blushes. “You haven’t been keeping up on our sessions, shame on you.” He playfully pouted as he waltzed around her house. It was small, and she had thousands of books littering the place, not exactly slobbish but not neat either. He stops when he feels a tug on his arm.
“You left me.” She accuses, to his amusement. He took note of how she tensed when he moved a piece of hair behind her ear.
“You were upset with me.”
“N-not really, it was just shocking.” She paused and shook her head. “No pun intended.”
J found it endearing that she didn’t want him to think she was angry with him. He ignored the relief in his chest when he realized she’s still as innocent as ever.
“Actually, no. I am mad at you. You told me I was helping you! You lied.” This was the first time he saw her angry. He put his hands up and made a disbelieving face.
“No, doll. I wouldn’t lie to you. How could I?” He sat down on one of the chairs next to the island.
“You told me- Oh! I forgot, do you want anything to drink?”
“No, thank you.”
“Ok. You told me I was helping you! What was that whole conversation about? Why would I want to be with anyone else? You-you-” He could tell she was getting upset by the way her eyes teared up.
“I thought you were going to kill me. You tortured me.” J stopped himself from rolling his eyes. You don’t know torture, little girl.
“And how terribly sorry I am for it.” He put sarcasm into his words. He regretted not killing her when he had the chance. She glared at him, making him remember that if he was going to be sarcastic, he should keep his face sympathetic.
“You-you-you jerk!” She went to punch him, much to his surprise, but he still caught it. This angered her even more, so she went for the exposed skin on his neck. She didn’t bite hard, and she obviously had no intention of hurting him, because she kind of paused when she had her teeth pressed against his neck. She pulled away and put her head down, giving him a feeble kick to the shin. J lifted her chin and her eyes found his lips.
“You done?” She nodded.
“Good.” He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her toward him, clamping his teeth down on her shoulder.
“That’s how you bite.” She pouted and shoved herself away from him.
“You tortured me.” She muttered. He sighed. He figured she would hold grudge. Reaching out to take her hand, he tugged on it until she looked at him.
“I got you something. And you’re going to wear it when you go with me to one of my clubs tonight.” She started shaking her head. He laughed, throwing his head back before his pale hand went to wrap around her throat. She squealed, and he made sure to put enough pressure so her face turned red.
“Pay attention, because I’m not repeating it again. You’re going, you’ll do what I say, and if you embarrass me, disobey me, so much as think about running, or telling someone, your ass will be sorry.” He shoved her away from him, leaving her on the ground, coughing and sputtering.
“Now,” He clapped his hands together, “ Get dressed, there’s a dress already in your closet.” He frowned when he realized she wasn’t looking at him. Giving her a little kick to the side, he knelt down to take her chin in his hands.
“I’m not going. I don’t want any part of what you do.” She had a stubborn gleam in her eye, and he figured he would have to break her sooner or later. Should have done the shock therapy.
“Last warning. If you don’t listen to me, everyone you’ve talked to, everyone you will talk to, and everyone you are currently talking to are dead. A painful, slow, tortuous death. I’ll make you watch, Y/N, you know I will. Better yet, I’ll make you do it.” Her eyes welled up with tears and she tried to pull her chin away. When she couldn’t, her eyes stayed on the carpet. “Look. At. Me.” When she wouldn’t, probably because she didn’t hear him, he slapped her. A sob escaped her and she wiped her eyes before staring at his lips.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Why, because it’s fun.” His smile lit up his face. “Because it’ll be fun making you do terrible things. To watch you break. If you don’t there’s alwaaaays shock therapy.” He sing songed. When she closed her eyes he placed a light smack to her cheek.
“Say it. Say you belong to me.”
“I belong to no one.” He was surprised at the defiance she was showing. Of course, she was crying and shaking, absolutely terrified, but she wasn’t giving in. He tutted, shaking his head.
“For now. Let’s see what you think about that after tonight. Get dressed.” He stood up and walked out, leaving her to shakily push herself up. Taking deep breaths to calm herself down, she walked towards her closet, not even wanting to know who had been in her house to put the dress in there.
It was obnoxiously short, and she had to keep pulling it down. It barely covered her butt and she was mortified at the thought of wearing it in public. As she walked out of her house towards J’s car, he merely gave her a grunt of acknowledgement as he opened the door for her. She supposed it was how awkward she moved that made it not look appealing. Not much she could do there. When he got in the backseat beside her, she noticed the guy that held her down on the shock therapy table was in the driver’s seat. He didn’t give her a single glance. J wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. His legs were spread, and she noticed how he moved more confidently than he did at Arkham. They pulled up to this hole-in-the-wall club, Obviously meant to be hidden. J offered her his arm and she took it, feeling like she didn’t have a choice.
J had to meet with a client first, before the fun would begin. He made it clear that Y/N was to keep her mouth shut, though he knew she wouldn’t speak up anyways. J didn’t realize how much this was taking a toll on her.
She was terrified. In fear of looking nosy and embarrassing J, she kept her head forward, clueless to the conversation. She had a pretty good idea it was about her though. The way the client’s eyes lingered, how he looked at her when he was clearly talking to J. H wanted her, that’s all she was able to get from his drunken slur. She felt the anxiety build up in her chest, getting ready to make her beg. She was gripping J’s leg so tight she could feel it throbbing. The only thing that relieved her was the client’s face turning pale and J’s possessive grip that was now around her waist. Suddenly the room felt like it was on fire and her throat closed up, restricting her breathing. Everyone’s eyes were on her and if she could run, she’d be out of there. She was vaguely aware of Frost lifting the guy up and taking him out, though she couldn’t figure out why he was struggling. The comforting grip on her waist was gone and instead it was on her shoulders. There was a green and white blob in front of her.
“Y/N. Y/N. Breathe.” She hadn’t realized she’d been gasping for air, which is probably what got his attention. “I’m sorry.” She wheezed, terrified he’d punish her for embarrassing him. “I don’t know what happened.”
“You cut off all of the circulation in my leg, that’s what happened. What’s the matter with you?”
“I don’t know.” She slumped when his hands tightened on her shoulders and he shut his eyes and took a deep breath, as if to calm himself.
“You’re on thin ice, Y/N.”
“I just knew what he wanted. I thought you’d make me…” She couldn’t finish her sentence, feeling exhausted mentally and physically. His annoying grip was now on her chin, forcing her to look at his lips.
“You’re mine. You have yet to accept that but I still have to take care of what is mine. You see, I give, you give. I’m not that terrible, now am I?” He gave her a smile that unsettled her, and she had to squeeze the next word out.
“Yes. You gotta give me something as well. You gotta try. Show me some… affection.” Her eyes widened and he rolled his.
“Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter, you dirty girl. Where’s my sweet doctor that would do anything for her patient?” J sighed when she didn’t answer, and looked over to where Frost entered the booth. He was straightening out his disheveled suit, nodding at J.
“Huh, didn’t think he’d be the type to struggle. Ok, my dear! Let’s go on a field trip.” J hooked his arm around Y/N and helped her get up, letting Frost lead the way.
They came to a back room, and J smiled when he saw the guy strapped to a chair. J left Y/N awkwardly standing there while he said something to the guy, and then turned towards her. He placed a gun in her hand, and she looked at him in shock.
“It’s simple. Shoot him.” Y/N’s mouth opened and closed, the gun feeling like an awkward weight in her hand.
“No? But he’s a bad guy. ” J whined childishly. “Do you not remember what he wanted to do with you back in the club?”
“I don’t care. I’m not killing anyone.”
“Fine. Fiiiiine. Just say those simple words.” Her eyes narrowed, and he rolled his eyes, making over exaggerated mouth movements.
“‘I belong to you, Mister J’. Or for flattery, ‘I belong to the most handsome, the best in bed, the best smile, best laughter, the one, the only, the infamous, MISTER J!’” By the end of his little monologue, full of dramatic hand movements and pacing, Y/N’s eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open. After smoothing his hair back and taking deep breaths, he clapped his hands in front of her face, his mouth mimicking hers.
“That’s all you have to say. Flatter me, my little deaf doctor.”
“No. Now let him go, and take me home.” She was hoping her voice didn’t sound as shaky as it felt.
“I really hoped it wouldn’t come to this. For your sake. Pick up that knife and stab him in the arm.”
“Yes. Be careful, you don’t want to hit an artery. Make sure you do it at an angle. Pick up the knife or it’s you who’ll be in the chair next.”
“Ok, ok, I get it. Please, just stop.” She sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Oh, no too late now, honey. Pick up the knife.”
“No, no, I’m sorry, I get it, I-I belong to you, ok?” J kept his face impassive, his eyes narrowed.
“Pick up the knife, Y/N.” She kept crying, grating his nerves. He clenched his jaw before grabbing her face in his hands.
“Who do you belong to?”
“I-I belong to you.” She continued to cry as his grip tightened.
“And who am I?”
“I belong to Mister J.” She continued to shake as he pulled away, a smile now on his face.
“Good. Was that so hard? ” He turned to his henchmen as she continued to cry, rolling his eyes. “You, you, you pain in the ass.” He muttered, directing his words towards her. ” Take care of him.”
Wrapping an arm around Y/N, he helped her up and took her to his car. While Frost was driving her to her house, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what the hell did she get herself into.
Request:You secretly like Gray and he asks you out. However, it turns out to be a dumb dare from Jay.
talk to you for a minute?”
You turned your head around and felt your
cheeks flush pink when you noticed it was Gray. Smiling, you nodded and patted
the free seat besides you. The two of you were currently hanging out at an after
party since AOMG had finished their concert. But, you were surprised that he
would actually want to talk to you. Gray had spoken to you a few times and you
had always admired him from afar. You loved his music, personality, his smile,
his music but he was way out of your league. So far the two of you were just
“Yeah..ummm.” He stumbled into his seat, with
an almost empty drink in his hand.
“Are you feeling okay?” You asked, concerned
that he might have drank too much too quickly. He chuckled and waved his hand, drinking from
“Yeah, it’s all good! Don’t you worry about
me.” His voice at a higher pitch as he grinned at you. Why is his smile so damn
bright, you thought.
“I wanted to tell you something. Its embarrassing
but I need to come clean with you.” Perking up at his statement, you could feel your
heart racing. Ask me something? And it was embarrassing? Taking in a deep
breath as you clutched onto your own drink tighter. Was he going to…you couldn’t even finish that though. No, he wouldn’t.
“Sure, nothing should be embarrassing between
us.” You almost cringed at that sentence. It basically screamed at him that you
wanted to be close with him. You took a gulp from your own drink and felt you
body relax slightly.
“I need to tell you how I feel.” He rested his
chin on his palm and stared at you. He looked so innocent right now. His eyes
were wide and his hair falling over them, his lips slightly parted as he
“H-h-how you feel?” You stuttered at his word
“Well, we’ve been speaking for awhile now and
you’re always-“ He took another drink “alwaaaays there for me. I really like
that about you.” Oh god…was he…confessing to you right now? A gasp escaped
your lips as you tried to hold it together. The boy that you were literally
crushing on for months is actually talking to you and is so close to actually
saying what you’ve been dying to hear him say.
“So, basically, if I get to the whole point.”
He leaned forward and put his hand in yours, it felt warm and soft. Unable to
move, you let him grip onto you, enjoying the butterflies in your stomach.
“Gray, I think you’re drunk.”
“No! I only drank so I had the…the…the” He
glanced up at the ceiling trying to put his sentence together “confidence! I
needed to find the confidence to come over and confess to you. This isn’t
really romantic.” He gestured to the loud music and people grinding against
each other on the dance floor.
“But, I mean it…really. I like you. We need
to go out sometime. Just us two.” He leaned in closer, so much so that you
could feel his breath.
else.” His fingers slowly left your hand and gently touched your cheek, his
voice so soft that you could barely hear it. “I don’t want to be around anyone
else. Just you. I really like you.” You dared to look at him and you sunk even
deeper into your chair. Why is this happening now? Were you dreaming?
“I…I don’t even know what to say.” He grinned
and his hand left your face to grab his drink, finishing it.
“You don’t need to say anything. Just think
“But I…” Do it, your mind screamed at you This was your chance to
finally let him know how you were feeling. He had been on your mind for months
and he was right here confessing to you.
“I…I like you too.” Gray frowned and his head
rolled to the side to look at you, his mind racing.
“You like me?” His voice was now louder, making
sure that you heard his question. He looked confused. Your heart felt like it
was going to burst. Finally being able to say it felt like you had been set
free from everything that you had been hiding from him.
“Yeah, I do. I was waiting for the right moment
or for you to approach me.” You admitted while grinning, already feeling like
you were on a high.
“Oh.” He suddenly looked like he had sobered
up. He was sitting upright, his eyes looked focused, and his voice was now
sounding at a normal level.
“What made you say it here? I mean I’m not
fussy or anything but-“ As you were talking you noticed that his eyes flashed
behind you several times. Was there a fight going on? You frowned, turning your
head around to see what had caught his interest. A few seats away from you, a drunken
Jay was giggling besides an equally as drunk Simon. The both of them leaning
against each other for balance. Why were they laughing so hard? Had you missed
something or was it just the drinks taking their effect?
“I…I’m so sorry.” You spun around to look at
Gray. Who now looked like he was regretting every life choice. He refused to
look at you and was constantly running his hands through his hair.
“I…I fucked up. Really fucked up.”
“W..What? What happened?” Why did his attitude
completely change? He was happy a second ago.
“Do you have to pay for the drinks, then?” Jay sat
down besides you, with a wide grin. Maybe he knew what was wrong.
“Jay, I don’t think this was a good-“
“Did he ask you out? Mhmm?” Jay cut through
him, how did he know that Gray was going to ask you out? Maybe Gray wanted some
advice or encouragement to approach you.
“Y-Yeah, he did. Did you encourage him to do
“Encouraged him!? We’re basically playing God
right now. We were giving each other dares and we said to Gray that if he asked
you out that he wouldn’t have to pay for any of the drinks tonight and-.”
Suddenly you couldn’t hear anything. Your mouth parted as you started at Jay
blabbering on, not making much sense. It was a dare? Gray…you then looked at
him and he was staring at the floor. His face looking like he had been smacked
and you could tell he had completely sobered up with the reality of the
situation hitting him.
“Simon! You need to pay for the drinks now!”
Jay stood up and grabbed on to the chair for support. “HEY! Simon!” He waved
goodbye as he walked away, chanting “Simon Dominic! Simon D.O.M.I.N.I.C” If you hadn’t felt so numb then you would
have laughed. Silence. The two of you sat there without saying anything. Had he
really done this to you?
“I’m so sorry. We…we were just messing around. It wasn’t anything
serious! I promise, I didn’t mean to embarrass or-“
“Well you did, Gray! I look like an idiot right now.” Snapping
at him as your eyes filled with tears, trying to make sense of everything. You
had confessed to him. Told him that you liked him while he knew all along that
it was a stupid dare.
“Listen, I won’t tell anyone. It my fault.”
“Damn right it’s your fault!” You stood up and grabbed your
jacket. You didn’t want to be here anymore.
“I fucking…I can’t believe you would do this to me, Gray. I
get it. You’re out of my league and I’m not as popular or as good looking or
whatever! But I still have feelings and respect for myself not to-“ He stood up
and grabbed your hand, wanting to calm you down.
“Don’t you dare touch me!” You shoved him away as you walked
down the steps and towards the club doors. All of AOMG would know what he did
and that you had bloody fallen for it. Confessed to him like an idiot.
“Please, just listen to me.” He walked frantically behind
you, wanting to apologise a thousand times. Pushing your way through the crowd,
you managed to walk out into the street. The fresh air and openness helped ease
your mind as you didn’t feel trapped anymore. However the more you thought
about it the more angry you got.
“I fucked up and I shouldn’t have played with your emotions
like that.I didn’t know how you felt. I’m so sorry.” Where’s the taxis? You looked along the street and
wanted to desperately get into one and go home.
“Please, listen to me! Say something…anything I need to
know we’re cool with each other.” Ignoring him, you walked further down the
street in the hopes of finding a ride home. Your tears were close to escaping
and your fists were clenched. Don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you upset.
Don’t do it.
“Can I call you later? Maybe we can talk once everyone’s
sober and back in the right mindset.” His voice was close to cracking, as he
sounded more desperate by the second. In the distance you spotted a free taxi,
quickly sticking your hand out and waved at the driver, who made his way towards
you. Your heart was breaking…he didn’t have feelings for you. He lied. The
taxi stopped in front of you and you grabbed the door handle opening it.
“Don’t!” He slammed the door shut, making you stumble
forward. “Please talk to me.”
“I can’t let you go like this.”
“I said, let go.” Your voice getting lower as you glared at
him. Let me go…I can’t be around you
when I’m feeling like this. I’m too close to breaking.
“Are you getting in or what, Miss?” The taxi man spoke up,
knowing that he would have other customers.
“Please…” He stared at you with determination, however; your stubbornness
was in full force. You grabbed his wrist and pushed him away, quickly opening
the door and closing it.
“Drive down here, please. I’ll tell you address on the way.” The driver
quickly drove away. A sudden gasp left your mouth that you didn’t realise you were
holding. Your phone started to ring, glancing down you noticed it was Grays ID.
Your heart sunk even deeper as his name kept flashing at you, the fucking
bastard. You turned your phone off and stared right ahead into the distance as
your cheeks were now stained with tears.
Don’t look back.
I know this is slightly out of character for Gray/Jay but I feel like when they’re drunk anything is possible haha thank you for requesting this and I hope you all like it ^^
Okay but consider: instead of Ham and Burr as roommates, JOHN and Burr as roommates. And they get along pretty well. John always tries to get him to come along and hang out with his friends, but Burr always declines because he has to study or he just doesn’t feel like it. And of course Herc and Laf are always in their room so Burr gets to know them pretty well too.
And then Alexander comes and Burr first meets him in one of his classes and they’re arguing and Alexander can’t seem to shut up and Burr just /knows/ he’s not gonna like him.
So of course he becomes best friends with Laurens and Burr can’t even spend his free time in their dorm because Alexander is alwaaaays there.
But eventually he’s like ‘hold up, I’m not letting him kick me out of MY room’ so he stays in there and more often then not, it ends with them arguing about something stupid while John is sitting there watching and right after Alex decides to go to his own room, John is smirking at him because that wasn’t a fight-fight, that was a weird flirt-fight
and Burr is trying to denying it and ignore him but John is pretty insistent and going on and on about Burr liking his best friend and how cute they’d be together and “Alex and Aaron, sittin in a tree~”
And Burr is trying not to crack a smile because of how immature his roommate is and yeah maybe he was flirt-fighting with Alexander, but so what
Summary: The Soldier wants to share his name, when he finds out what it is.
Word Count - 1325
Warnings - torture, i guess, maybe some sadness, idk man, but aLSO FLUFF
“1. y'know amigo, fob broke my heart but i still love it and ily sooo UM CAN U ALREADY WRITE PART 6 IM LIKE BLEEDING HERE 2. SO I AM PUMPED FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF IT WAS OKAY WITH YOU TO DO A ONE SHOT WITH BUCKY X READER WHEN IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND I HATE THAT DAY BC ALWAAAAYS SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS SO BUCK IS PLANNING THE WHOLE DAY TO BE PERFECT AND IT’S JUST CUTE AND FLUFFY AND I DON’T KNOW ILY HAVE A GOOD LIFE DOLL” by @buckysthighsstuff
A/N - I changed your request slightly because I wanted Bucky to try and plan something and yeah, you’ll see, I think you’ll like this a bit better hopefully, also waited until midnight to post this so it’s your birthday xoxo
Song - The Way You Look Tonight by Tony Bennett
“Oh my god.”
They dragged his almost lifeless body into your lab, his blood creating sinister train tracks leading up to your feet. They dropped him to the floor, his elbows smashing into the ground, barely keeping his hanging head from doing the same.
The guard gave a silent solemn nod, which you knew to be a command.
Fix him up.
You pulled him upwards as best as you could without hurting him, and led him to the chair. His hair was sweaty and hanging in his face, doing little to mask the swelling and bruising that was happening there. The welts that covered his smooth skin made you cringe internally, and the dried blood was crusting off like snowflakes, similar to the weather outside.
“What trouble did you go and get yourself into this time?” You asked lightheartedly, prepping your tools.
“Didn’t I tell you to return to me in one piece, soldier?” You teased playfully. He tried to smile but the swelling didn’t allow anything more than a half grimace. He remained silent for a while.
‘She’s too lovely for a place like this.’ He thought. Whilst he was grateful to have you, he couldn’t help but think that princesses didn’t belong here, in this palace of pain, dilapidated and horrifying. You weren’t meant to be here.
“I didn’t do this on a mission.” The soldier spoke monotonously.
You paused, before dabbing a cotton swab into ethanol and cleaning one of the gashes on his shoulder.
“They did it.” You whispered.
The soldier hung his head, and so did you. You didn’t want him to see how his words affected you, how his pain became your pain. He didn’t want you to see how weak he was. You wanted him to talk, to tell you how he was feeling, but he wasn’t a man of many words, and you were okay with that.
Compared to when you first met him, he was a poet.
Your first meeting, if you could even call it that, was completely silent. They threw a body onto your chair, and told you to patch him up and put him to sleep. You did as you were told. He stared at you the entire time you worked, never saying a word, never even flinching when you pulled bullets out of his flesh.
And you put him to sleep.
When he woke up, he was the same, silent, stoic, intimidating. You checked his vitals without a word and escorted him to where he needed to be. You didn’t know what would happen to him. Maybe you would’ve never taken him if you did.
The first time you heard his screams was the worst.
You realised that he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to hurt people.
When you placed him back in cryo, you could see the burns from the electroshock. Stricken with grief for this poor soldier, you grasped his large, rough hand in your petite one, squeezing reassuringly. Although his natural instinct was to fall asleep, his head snapped up. Looking at your intertwined hands, he scowled at you incredulously, not believing that you would dare touch him. Why were you touching him?! His first instinct was to crush your tiny hand in his.
But he didn’t.
His head lulled to the side, and the panel slid shut.
You admitted, you liked to talk to him when you got lonely, which was often. You didn’t know if he could hear you, but it’s not like he would ever tell you if he could, and you needed a friend. Even an unwilling one.
Each time he woke up, you loved to watch his eyelashes flutter open. You couldn’t wait to feel his hand in yours. Somewhere along the way, you fell in love with the Winter Soldier. You were foolish. The soldier couldn’t possibly feel anything.
Or so you thought.
Until one day, the first word out of his mouth upon awakening was your name. And you greeted him with a small smile.
“They did it because I ran through the park. They thought I was trying to escape.” The soldier’s gruff tone snapped you out of your reverie.
“Why didn’t you?” You spoke gently, wrapping his arm up in gauze.
“I just wanted to see the flowers.” He spoke simply, as if seeing flowers were a viable reason for being beaten to semi consciousness. Yet, you understood. You’d only been here 6 months and you missed flowers dearly. He’s not seen flowers for god knows how long, probably since he was free. You wondered when that was.
Your head snapped up at the sound of rustling. He was unbuttoning his pants with his good arm, and your eyes widened slightly. What the hell was he doing? His hand reached into his boxers and you started to sweat. Oh my god, what did he want you to do? What was happening?
He pulled a tiny flower out of his boxers.
Well that, you weren’t expecting.
“Happy birthday Y/N.” He spoke gently.
He offered the flower to you, and you noticed it’s misshapen form. It’s stem was twisted and browning, the leaves hung dejectedly, and the petals had all wilted. He felt idiotic that this was all he had to offer you.
“You remembered my birthday?” You gazed at the flower, awestruck.
Whilst you had helped the soldier learn how to become human again, he didn’t always understand some basic human things. He was confused as to how you could like the flower. It didn’t serve any purpose now, and was therefore obsolete.
“It’s broken.” He pointed out.
You turned your attention from the dainty flower. “Most beautiful things are.” You said seriously, looking him in the eye. He swallowed, and reached out for your hand.
“I’m pathetic. I don’t have a ring. I don’t even have a name. But someday, I will find out what my name is and I’ll share it with you.” He brushed your hair behind your ear.
“If you’ll have me.” He added, slightly worried you wouldn’t want to marry him. He wouldn’t blame you,
“Yes soldier. Someday.” You whispered, brushing your lips against his. He kissed back tenderly, and leant his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed. You quickly pulled away however, when a guard entered your lab
You nodded, and he left.
The soldier slipped off the chair and stepped up into the chamber. How many times could you do this? Tears filled your eyes as you pierced his skin with the needle. You grasped his hand as usual.
“It’s time to go back to me talking to you when you can’t hear me again.” You smiled a watery smile, your eyes overflowing with salty tears.
You looked up into his beautiful blue eyes.
“I always hear you.”
You nodded, acknowledging his beautiful yet simple sentiment. He wasn’t a man of words. And that was okay.
His eyelashes fluttered shut.
You pulled your hand away, and the glass slid into place, the frost coating the glass like paint. You could make out his face underneath though. The crease in his brow, the slope of his nose, the gash on his forehead. His hair hung in his eyes and you desperately wished you could open the chamber and brush it out like you always did.
You turned away from him, hoping to stop the tears slowly dropping down your cheeks, but you saw the little flower on the chair.
The most beautiful, damaged flower. The one he risked his life for. The only gift you got on your birthday. The best thing anyone had ever given you.
You slid it into the pages of your notebook, pressing the pages together as you closed it.
“Someday.” You mumbled, going back to your work and dreaming of a word where you and the soldier could sit in the park all day. A world where he had a name.
March 31 and April 1, us
μ’s finally made it to our Final Live at Tokyo Dome.
μ'sic Final LoveLive!
The Tokyo Dome we’ve always waited for.
But it was also a day I wished would’ve never come.
With all sorts of emotions from the past six years mixing together, I made it to the Final Live while still unable to gather my feelings.
During the final MC, I said I would continue in m blog post.
Though I said that, it’s been a week since the Final Live.
Somehow my thoughts just turned into a blank state…No matter how many times I tried to write, I couldn’t figure out where to begin…
To everyone who’s been waiting, sorry. :(
But you see,
If I look back and summarize all the different things that has happened up until now, that would make it feel like this story has already ended…
Once a bit more time passes, I think I would be able to withstand this feeling.
That’s why, I would like everyone to wait just a while longer.
Before that time goes by, there’s something I want to tell everyone,
And that is the feelings of gratitude from the bottom of my heart.
All the fans who have granted so many of our dreams together, thank you very much.
Thanks to everyone supporting us so much, we managed to experience so many miracles, and so many sceneries.
This time it wasn’t just Japan, but 10 countries that had the live-viewing. That’s something really amazing, when I think about how many fans throughout the world were watching our Final Live, it makes my chest grow hot.
If I think about it being the last time I would become sad.
So I started off this live with the thought of wanting to enjoy Tokyo Dome with all my might.
At the very end, when everyone sang “Bokutachi wa Hitotsu Hikari” together,
the tears I had been holding back up to that point began to flow.
Being wrapped in such a warm feeling while leaving the stage… It made me wonder what is happiness.
At the end after we left the stage, we heard everyone’s loud cheers of
μ’s!”. The nine of us hugged each other tightly and let the tears flow while listening quietly.
Everyone, thank you very much for all the love up until the very end.
Being the greatest friends, and also the greatest rivals, this time together with everyone is truly a treasure to me.
Laughing together, crying together vexing over things together… Covered in all sort of sweat, everyone made it here by advancing one step at a time.
These six years of ours, there are many points that overlapped with parts of the
withing the anime…
I mean, we had a lot more different kinds of troubles and joys than the anime… We made it here by cheering each other on and always working hard.
Once again, I realised deeply that we have really become
μ’s for real.
Being able to encounter my greatest friends is my happiness.
Everyone, thank you
I’ll always be counting on you all from now on too
Sonoda Umi-chan, thank you♡
Meeting Umi-chan brought huge changes to my life.
At the start, I was extremely puzzled at the personality which was entirely different from me, but bit by bit I got to see different sides of her, getting closer to Umi-chan during this process made me happy
These six years I’ve spent with Umi-chan as a high-school second year.
Every moment was our youth, dazzling and bright… At any rate, it was fun!
Really, really, real-ly, thank you
I always, alwaaaays love you
Other than that, the producer who has always been supporting us, Kisara-san, and all the staff who has supported us since the start.
Remember that God will never promise anything that He is not able to do. He would not have started His good work in you if He will not finish it. Your God is good and faithful. He is the very definition of consistency. You may be believing in things that you cannot see, but because this faith is anchored in Him, it will surely bear fruit, beloved.