Okay, so in honour of it being too fucking hot out today, I invite you to imagine with me: The Fake AH Crew at the beach.
- Jack being the mom-iest mom and making sure to pack everyone’s towels and lots of snacks and plenty of water because it’s important to stay hydrated and calling Ryan to get his ass back here and put on some sunscreen, you are the palest motherfucker I have ever seen do you want skin cancer. And take off that mask right now, this is supposed to be a relaxing day and I swear to god if it ends in a police chase I’m going to drag you into the ocean and drown you.
- Geoff bringing two inner tubes, one for him and one for his cooler o’alcohol, tying both to the dock and being set for the day. (Watching Geoff trying to get out of the inner tube without eating shit at the end of the day was an experience)
- Ray disappeared as soon as they arrived and it turns out he broke into the storage room of the snack bar. In his defence it had air conditioning and wifi, and if they had made him sit in the, ugh, sand, he would have just complained all day anyway so this was best for all parties.
- Michael and Lindsay decided to build a sandcastle for shits and giggles, but then another couple started construction on their own a few feet away, and they had the audacity to make it taller than theirs, and this is an outrage war has been declared they are going to build the best goddamn sand castle the world has ever seen.
- Gavin (after dipping into Geoff’s floating cocktail bar) decides that learning to surf would be an excellent idea. It goes about as well as you’d expect.
- Ryan is surprisingly being the most normal out of all of them, sitting (under an umbrella, I get it Jack jesus) reading a book. Unfortunately, Ryan sans mask is a really good-looking guy, and attracts a small gaggle of giggling bikini clad onlookers. To whom Ryan is completely oblivious. Jack thinks its hilarious at first (if those girls only knew who they were making doe eyes at) but after a while the flirty laughs start to grate on her nerves and now they’re blocking her sun this needs to end.
- Later Jack will admit that maybe she over reacted a little bit. Ryan just wants confirmation that although the day did in fact end with a police chase for once the whole thing was entirely not his fault and he in no way deserves to be drowned for it.