alter aspect

Self-Improvement with Astrology -☉Sun
  • The ego, life force, identity, who we are to become, our core energy
  • Ruler of Leo, exalted in Aries, fall in Libra, detriment in Aquarius

Stressful aspects to the sun can indicate issues with the father or the energies of the other planet(s) can be perceived as a threat to the individual’s identity and ego and they can display negative traits of the sign or appear immature. Sun in Libra/7th house or in Aquarius/11th house can have a harder time trying to establish their identity, Libra only having an image of the self in the presence of others and Aquarius finding themselves in groups and society. Aries/1st house and Leo/5th house, being strong placements for the sun, may not have as much difficulty. Aries has no trouble establishing and asserting their identity while Leo could never let anyone forget who they are. However, in understanding where positive aspects help and harsher aspects challenge, astrology can be used as a guide to grow and evolve.

Harmonious, soft aspects = talents, gifts, laziness
(sextiles, trines, conjunctions to benefics) 

Harsh, hard aspects = challenges, blocks, diamonds in the rough
(squares, oppositions, conjunctions to malefics)

Sun/Moon: Soft: Nurturing figure supports identity, emotions align with who they are Hard: the nurturing figure doesn’t hold a consistent presence or influence, what they feel is at odds with who they are

Appreciate the nurturing figures in your life, whether it be your mother or a friend. Understand that receiving emotional support and expressing emotion does not make one weak or lesser of a person. 

Sun/Mercury: The only aspect the sun can make with Mercury is the conjunction (sun and Mercury can only be 28 degrees apart at most). With the conjunction, thoughts and ideas are infused into and define the identity of the individual. If this person feels as though they are not being heard or truly listened to, they can take it as an offense or threat to who they are.

Understand that your voice is important and makes a difference whether or not you are speaking or are being heard directly. Resist the urge to analyze, define, and criticize every aspect of yourself.

Sun/Venus: The only major aspect the sun can make with Venus is the conjunction (max 48 degree distance between both planets). Here all of the qualities of Venus join with the identity of the individual. The individual can be all of the grace and charm typical of Venus, but requires love, affection, and attention to feel validated.

Love yourself and afford yourself the attention you might otherwise (negatively) seek from others. Avoid laziness and use your ability to harmonize to solve issues peacefully rather than ignoring them. 

Sun/Mars: Soft: Easy assertion of the will, their desires and instincts align with who they are and who they strive to become Hard: Identity/Ego is asserted in situations where it may not be necessary, forceful nature and short temper can run roughshod on others

Assess situations before taking action. Know that putting down the sword can be more honorable than fighting to the death. Understand that roadblocks are put in to be driven around, not through (you’ll still reach your destination).

Sun/Jupiter: Soft: Ego is wise, identity easily grows and develops, individual naturally draws positive things to them Hard: Ego inflates like a cheap balloon and is just as fragile, they might get themselves in over their head and get out of trouble just by the skin of their teeth

Appreciate the fortunate nature of your life and every good thing that comes your way. Avoid pushing the limits just to see how far they go. Repay debts and stay in good character regardless of how you know people will treat you.

Sun/Saturn: Soft: Slow and steady growth of ego and formation of identity, although the identity may take a long time to form it is relatively peerless to the individual Hard: Ego tries to form either before it faces necessary lessons or it is met with debilitating situations before it can handle them, individual is constantly held in check

Listen to and acknowledge each lesson Saturn has to teach. Understand that Saturn will ultimately refine you and polish you with the finest grit. If you push, Saturn will push back, so roll with what life brings.

Sun/Uranus: Soft: The identity changes easily and quickly, the ego alters and adjusts in order to adapt and survive Hard: Difficulty handling change, individual may act out in shocking ways or dramatically alter some aspect of themselves, identity shifts suddenly as a result of being denied change by the father figure

Accept and find ways to handle and appreciate change. Understand that it is okay to change and to stand out. Being “unique” is not an uncommon thing. Life is never steady, let Uranus teach you how to maintain your balance.

Sun/Neptune: Soft: Ego is colored, but not defined by, the suffering and dreams of others, identity centers around artistic expression and higher vibrations of love Hard: Life feels too mundane, ego shaped by the issues of others, escapist tendencies, takes on issues they cannot handle

Understand that at the end of the day you have to close your eyes and go to sleep and let other people’s issues be their issues– not yours. Offer what of yourself that you can to help and guide people, but understand your own capabilities and limits.

Sun/Pluto: Soft: Individual transforms as necessary in their life, Ego is powerful and holds immense depth Hard: Ego refuses to change and grow without catastrophic event, individual does not face their deeper issues or is in a constant clash with them

Understand that true transformation comes when the things we refuse to face are looked at straight in the eye. The world is not out to get you and there is a generation of people who can benefit from your insight or learn something from you. Pluto will destroy what’s faulty if something better will be able to be put in its place.

How to Make an Awesome First Impression

First seen on my Patreon!

School starts soon.

Yeah, stop screaming, it’s a fact, chill.

With a new school year coming up, there’s an great opportunity approaching: the chance to make a BOMB first impression on all your new classmates. This is especially true if you’ve transferred or if you’re a new student!

I’m starting grad school in the fall, and so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this recently. Here’s how we can both make an awesome impression on our new peers!

Be humble. Everyone you meet during your first week or two is going to be new, or know that you’re new. They’ll be able to tell if you’re bragging on yourself. Everyone around you has equivalent accomplishments to your own. That’s why they’re here! Assume that you’re the least knowledgeable in the room on a given topic, until proven otherwise. You’ll save yourself some embarrassing corrections by not being cocky.

Be confident. WITH THAT SAID, you should still be confident! After all, you got into this same school as all your classmates. You’re on an equal footing with all the other new students, and if you put in the effort, you will match or exceed the current upperclassmen’s abilities. So walk with confidence!

Protip: the difference between confidence and cockiness is whether or not you actually pay attention to what other people are saying. If you hear yourself interrupting others, or using the phrases “yes, but,” or “but actually,” more than about once a week, try listening to others more and monologuing less.

Be inquisitive. On the same note, make it a habit to ask about others! Everyone loves talking about themselves around people they like. So asking about someone’s hobbies, or where they got that cool shirt, or how they practice that one melisma, is a great way to both get to know people and make friends.

Be honest. People don’t like being lied to. This includes being lied to about who someone (you) really is. Making a friend is great! Making a friend who only likes you because you altered every aspect of your personality is… not great. College is certainly a place to experiment and play around with your personality. However, you probably have a basic idea of things you enjoy. Embrace those things! If someone asks about your hobbies, tell them! You never know who else out there is still clinging to Pokemon GO, hoping it’ll get better, or who paints miniature D&D figurines. Even if the person asking doesn’t have that hobby, they may know someone who does. I met my SO after taking a risk and commenting on his shirt, revealing myself as the kind of nerd who thought it was a reference to something else.

Oh, also: people can tell when your “cool story” is bullshit. Don’t try to make yourself cool by lying about stuff you haven’t actually done.

Be spiffy. Dress like the person you want to be in a year. In your lessons, this means dressing nicely and with maximum range of motion. In your other classes, it means putting in like, any effort at all - the goal is to put off wearing sweatpants and stained shirts to class as long as possible. In social situations, it means dressing the way you want people to perceive you. Don’t abandon your personal style, but maybe consider whether you at 20, 25, or 35 would want to be remembered as the person who wore cat ears or full juggalo makeup at all times. (Note: I know someone who does in fact do one of those things.)

Be relaxed. Look, people like making friends. Don’t let the stress of moving to a new place and a new school wind you up too badly. That’s how you get the Wild Eyes and make people a little nervous when you talk to them. Take some deep breaths, remember that people tend to enjoy meeting new people, and talk to people! Before and after classes, in lounges, at bars or coffee shops - just talk to anyone not wearing headphones or focusing hardcore on their phone.

People are scary, especially strangers. I can attest to that. However, we’re gonna go out and make some awesome first impressions anyway!

You got this!

3

Bulkhead is the best boy? The best????? He and Bumblebee refer to each other as “Big B” and “Little B” and it’s very Good. He’s about the same height as Megatron, but a fair bit heavier- Megatron has him in agility, however.

I fucking love how his feet turned out hhhsjdfkha those are such good feet. Dang. I think his design got a little overly complicated compared to the rest of the cast but he’s broad enough to make it work, and at this point I’m gonna go back and alter some design aspects of other characters anyways.

Next is either Springer or Deadlock.

after 27437 years I finally got my hands on cu alter’s translated interlude (courtesy of @princemarxfucker) and it was absolutely worth the wait because its saying loads of things ive been saying since forever except now here in HD quality explicit text and none of you are going to believe I didn’t straight up write it myself because frankly I’m not entirely sure I didn’t actually write this myself

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO LET’S DIG RIGHT INTO THE JUICY BITS SHALL WE (THE JUICY BITS ARE EVERY SINGLE BIT)

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Case for killing rich!Roy

I can’t remember the last decent fanfic I read where Roy did not live in a fucking mansion with multiple bedrooms, a real fireplace, a library, and a sports car. Even when the setting did not give him a significantly better-paying job than a military officer or policeman.

And even if he had way more income, or had been in his decent-paying position long enough to have saved up for and paid off all the above, let’s have a look at what we know about Roy’s canon economic situation and behaviour.

- he lives in a townhouse (Interview with Arakawa)
- he has a personal vehicle (interview with Arakawa)
- the car is not especially fancy-looking, shiny, or impressive (visuals /character non-reactions)
- he doesn’t drive the car long distances (he takes busses and trains, which may speak to the age and endurance capabilities of the car)
- he did not grow up rich (Chris Mustang runs a gentleman’s bar in a seedy part of town)
- he has an understanding of budgetary responsibility and is bothered when it’s missing (any time he’s chastised Ed about expenses or looked worried when informed about them)
- he is hesitant to lend money (520 cenz)
- he isn’t above blackmailing, but never attempts bribery (lack of funds?)

Most of this would suggest Roy to be likely middle-class.

But fan fiction can alter character aspects like this. We can write AUs where Roy is a millionaire, or a lottery winner, or a trust fund baby.

But we can also write AUs where he’s penniless and has slept at work when he’s between places to live, where he works overtime to make extra and everyone politely ignores the circles under his eyes, where he lectures the Elrics to think of their futures and not spoil their prospects because he knows how quickly things can turn around, where Chris Mustang set him up with his apprenticeship under Hawkeye because then at least he’d have a steady roof over his head and food to eat every night. Where he joined the army cause it was the only way he could afford an education, and now he has roommates because who the he’ll can afford a Central City apartment solo?

We can have middle class Roy who shops at Costco/Price mart, is in his neighbourhood carpool, and can’t help financially, but pulls all the social strings he can to help the people who are important to him. Roy who BBQs on the balcony of his apartment, Roy who really can’t fucking afford for his car to be wrecked right now, and has to cancel all plans of the ‘paint the town’ nature for a while until the payment plan is under control, Roy who sneaks dollar store candy and pop into the theatre. Roy who always helps his neighbour down the hall get her groceries up the stairs. Roy who learned to fix his own damn furnace because contractor prices are ridiculous and how different can it be from his alchemy anyway?

I often see Rich Roy giving boundless cash, gifts, and resources to whoever he’s being shipped with, who is often - at the start if the story - in a position where they need help or rescue to varying degrees. Roy being wealthy certainly helps facilitate this kind of dynamic, but it doesn’t kill the story for him to be poor or middle-class.

Imagine poor!roy skipping his own meal to feed his shipmate, sleeping on the floor or hideously hard/lumpy couch so they can have the bed, scrubbing his shabby apartment within an inch of its life to make it look more upper class, doing his best to dress up ramen with frozen veggies as a gourmet meal, and their shipmate just being so grateful for the help that they don’t even care.

Middle class Roy stretching things for an extra person, looking up creative meals on the internet because damnit there’s enough miscellaneous foods in the house he’s got to be able to make enough of SOMETHING for two, panicking when his shipmate expresses a sugar craving because he can’t afford to buy a dessert but how dies he turn down that face after all they’ve been through and surely he can whip something up with crackers and chocolate sauce right?

There are so many more options than rich Roy who lives in luxury, cooks gourmet meals, drives a hot car, and never worries about cost. Let’s see some more of them, please.

Self-Improvement with Astrology -☉Sun
  • The ego, life force, identity, who we are to become, our core energy
  • Ruler of Leo, exalted in Aries, fall in Libra, detriment in Aquarius

Stressful aspects to the sun can indicate issues with the father or the energies of the other planet(s) can be perceived as a threat to the individual’s identity and ego and they can display negative traits of the sign or appear immature. Sun in Libra/7th house or in Aquarius/11th house can have a harder time trying to establish their identity, Libra only having an image of the self in the presence of others and Aquarius finding themselves in groups and society. Aries/1st house and Leo/5th house, being strong placements for the sun, may not have as much difficulty. Aries has no trouble establishing and asserting their identity while Leo could never let anyone forget who they are. However, in understanding where positive aspects help and harsher aspects challenge, astrology can be used as a guide to grow and evolve.

Keep reading

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Cynthia Tedy - Retrospective: Before I Grew Up (Selected Images)

To what extent would we welcome the chance to go back to a simpler time like childhood and thank those who’ve formed us? Illustrator Cynthia Tedy has done just that in a recent series of illustrations titled, Retrospective: Before I Grew Up.

- Jared Peer

“When we are much younger, our thoughts are simpler and naive. What intrigued us back then may be very different from what intrigues us now. However, there might be parts of our childhood intrigues which persist to adulthood, or even shape who we are. Looking back at our childhood wonders is one way to see who we were then and now.” states Tedy.

Simple, poetic, and situated purely in memory the illustrations of Cynthia Tedy are the tender reminders of development we rarely pay respect to. Stylistically, Tedy employs a generally monotone palette with simple lines that create the figures and forms. Not only does this give her the room to highlight specific elements in the image through the inclusion of a bright red or white, but further references the aspect of memories. The gathering and recollection of memories often results in a muddy mixture of moments with specific aspects sticking out.

Accompanying the illustrations are works of poetry that provide supporting information of the illustration’s narrative or subject manner. These lines of poetry mimic the bareness and simplicity of the illustrations giving us a quick moment of viewing.

Teacher” is composed of three main elements, a figure holding a clothing hanger and a bird that is completely colorless. The bird can be recognized as a crow and draws meaning from ancient and native cultures. Being seen as an intermediary of life and death the crow carries with it the gifts of wisdom and law. However, being colorless one can infer that this crow has yet to receive the knowledge and wisdom. Which is reinforced by the text written below, “You never feel the need to paint my feathers with any particular color. When the time of flight comes, you’d like me to reflect the colors of the world as I experience it.”

The last element, the empty clothing hanger, according to dream theory interpretations can be seen as overcoming difficult obstacles. The figure brings the clothing hanger up and into the view of the crow, possibly showing the crow of future obstacles to overcome and eventually learn from.

Hairdresser” introduces us to a momentary tension, an action frozen in memory, and another figure. This figure, which may be Tedy or the aforementioned “Hairdresser”, pulls up her hair as broken scissors fall from her mouth. “Should there be more, or less? Are we here, or there? Am I you, or us?” reads the text below the image. Perhaps the actions of the hairdresser should be seen through a metaphorical lens, where the decision to have their hair cut is more of keeping, altering, and moving aspects of yourself. Seeing something a small as a haircut; Tedy pays respect to the notion of introspection and eventually change.

One of the most dynamic illustrations in the series, “Aviator” gives us a moment of impact. Coming from the right side of the composition a boy rushes forward eyes’ closed and head cast slightly downward, as his arm reaches across the length of the image. At the center of the image, a bird collides with the boy’s head and we are left viewing the impact frozen in time. This work, despite being dynamic in composition is visually one of the more empty ones with only two subjects and the supporting poetry.

“Your uniform could be your death robe. The white is stark, like something well-cared by a father. The black is bottomless, like the wisdom passed from a mother. Won’t you fracture your love for the same wonders from the same sky, over and over again?”

This “Aviator” bears a uniform that in a metaphorical sense is comprised of the lessons as taught by his parents. This echoes the overall concept of the series, but as this Aviator is a person presumably from Tedy’s past he becomes a larger metaphor for her to learn from. The last line of the poem implies a confrontation of sorts that continuously re-occurs, but is done so nonetheless at the risk of something that is loved. In the sense of the “Aviator” one can say that love is the sky and flying, yet there is always a constant fear of actually flying and all possibly outcomes of doing so. This lesson or metaphor for facing fears for the sake of what you love becomes clear between the man and bird’s conflict.

Despite rarely being consciously thought about, the lessons and memories acquired from our past dictate most aspects of our lives. A final question occurs as in this series; How would you honor and pay respect to those lessons and memories?

Images courtesy of Cynthia Tedy.

Heyo! Sorry for the radio silence from me. A mixture of hellish life circumstances and trying to ignore those things through some creative outlets has kept me off of the internet for awhile. 

But I am back and I have some news and a question to ask of you. 

1) I’m beginning to look for a service dog prospect. Sadie is about to turn seven, and while she still loves work, I know without a doubt that she will transition into a pampered pet and live out the rest of her life with no problem and be spoiled rotten. So I’ll keep you guys updated - the prospect will be another rescue so. The blog name will remain. 

2) I’m working on a Podcast! It will be DID focused - each episode will focus on one aspect of DID and explain my experiences and the commonly used definition and variants of the aspect. DID is so stigmatized and I don’t think we can bridge the ignorance and fear caused by the media if people don’t understand DID aspects like alters, inner worlds, littles, protectors, etc, as well as taking questions from the yet to be created twitter and blog. I don’t currently have the knowledge to have guest speakers, but I would love that when I learn to. The working title is “Functioning Alex” although I may change my name for safety reasons. I’ll let you know when the first episode is out and if you have comments or questions, send them my way!

3) To go along with my Podcast, I’m writing two books, both DID focused. 

One is going to be a fiction YA novel about a character in college with DID. The working title is “The System of Ash” and will draw on my experiences as well as some friend’s experience. Again, emphasizing the human experience we share, normalizing things like coconsciousness and innerworlds. This is in its beginning stages. 

The second is non-fiction, a bit of a layman's guide to DID. It will kind of mirror the Podcast, with each chapter focusing on a different aspect of DID. Each chapter will have a basic overview of the definition and variants, and then personal experience. This is where you guys come in! I’m going to include my experience, but I want a bunch of testimonials in each chapter to have as many different examples as possible. I know a lot of my followers have DID, so if you are interested in taking part, send me a message. And if you run a DID focused blog, I would appreciate a reblog so more people get to see this!  

anonymous asked:

Hey! Could you do a story where Emily gets jealous of one of the other liars because they have formed a close friendship with Alison. So maybe one day Hanna stands up for Alison when Emily says something about Alison not loving her or something and Emily gets angry because she wants to be the one Alison goes to when she needs someone to talk to.

Hey I’m the anon with the “mother” drabble request. I mentioned not being sure about baby or not baby because I made another prompt with Ali and Hanna shopping for maternity or post-maternity clothes, and Ali’s weight insecurity. And maybe them talking about Emison in S5 when Hanna was so against Ali and was always pressuring Emily about her. You said (I think) that this was a little too baby related, though you liked the idea of them discussing S5. So that confused me, and I didn’t know! :)

Can you do a Drabble request of maybe Lorenzo coming back and wanting to get to know Alison again but he doesn’t know she’s dating Emily.

I have a great disdain for he-who-shall-not-be-named so I’m not granting him a mere word of dialogue in this, therefore I altered that aspect of the three-prompt drabble (but he’s still a factor).

Here’s some angsty Emison (plus fluffy, don’t worry) and some sweet Halison:


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Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Fifteen

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!

***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***

Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW



Aria was climbing in bed when her phone buzzed with a text message. Smiling at Jeffrey’s name, she read it and cocked an eyebrow.
‘Look outside.’ ~ Jeff
Slipping out of bed, she peered out her front window and chuckled. Standing in her driveway was the tall man next to his motorcycle, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and smile on his face.
Leaving the window, she stopped quickly to kick her dirty laundry into the closet again and checked her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Shrugging at the loose t-shirt and hair thrown up in a bun, Aria jogged down the stairs and pulled the door open.
The handsome devil leaned a leather clad shoulder against the porch rail and grinned at her, the flowers outstretched.
“I don’t know your favorites yet, so I got them all.”

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anonymous asked:

i don't really see how different members of 1 system could be different races cause race is a completely physical thing that has cultural and societal ties? Personally I would find it offensive if someone in a white person's system was going around claiming they were black

We’ve answered this question several times before, including, at the time of me answering this, a post still on the first page of this blog. We even have a tag for this topic which you would have seen had you scrolled down to said post. Normally I’d just say “read through everything that we and others have already said on this topic, and then if you still take offense to a natural part of DID/OSDD-1, you’re welcome to send us another ask,” but congratulations, I’m so sick and tired of this subject that I’m willing to dump every counter-argument right here for you in the hopes that others who are too lazy to check the rest of our blog will at least see this and stop sending us these asks for a while.

Something to consider: In our most recent post, we also mentioned alters presenting as having different disabilities. Disability is also often completely physical or neuropsychiatric and often just as impossible for one single alter to truly experience. It also has many social and cultural implications. Yet you have no problem with that? You can recognize that alters can present as and experience something akin to different disabilities regardless of the body’s reality? For that matter, can you accept that alters can identify as different genders and present as different sexes? Can you accept that alters can present as non-human? What about different ages from the body?

Why is that you seem to have an issue with a single possible facet of alter presentation when no aspect of alter presentation is under the system’s or alter’s control? Why would you find a single uncontrollable aspect of a mental illness to be offensive? What do you expect: for systems who have alters whose racial or ethnic presentation doesn’t match their body to be able to magically change this? I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it as long as people like you refuse to consider this; if someone can willingly change aspects of their alters, that is most likely not DID or OSDD-1. If any of us could change our alters, we’d have the power to change them so as not to have alters to begin with! 

Another thing to consider: Why on earth did you jump to “someone in a white person’s system … claiming they were black?” Would you find alters in white systems claiming to be other races and ethnicities okay, then? What about alters in systems of other races or ethnicities? Do you have a list of which races and ethnicities can and can’t claim to be members of which other races and ethnicities based on historical oppression and current racial politics in different countries? Do you make any exceptions for transracial adoptees (children who were adopted into a family of a different race)? What about mixed race children who lived primarily with white family? Runawayalters has addressed some of these concerns before and is a case of the last example, so I suggest glancing over some of their posts on the matter (such as this and this). If you still need more convincing, I have a post on SN and my personal blog on why trauma can lead to alters that present as other races, though I have to warn that it references human trafficking.

We’ve said repeatedly that alters whose traits don’t match the body’s / system’s need to stay in their lane, including in our most recent post, so I hope you’re not conveniently glossing over that part. We maintain that in these such cases, alters need to avoid claiming to have identical experiences to actual individuals with the trait in question, to avoid speaking over these individuals, and to not enter safe spaces or use resources meant for these individuals. However, we also maintain that systems shouldn’t be shamed or silenced about any of their alters’ traits. Accepting alters as they are is an important part of healing. Traits such as an alters’ race may be directly linked to trauma, and so fostering an environment in which a child’s dissociative response to trauma is seen as “offensive” is extremely counterproductive to supporting systems in which this is the case.

I can’t help but strongly suspect that you’ve been won over by a few blogs here that like to shout very loudly about their position on alters presenting as different races without stopping to actually think about the implications of what they’re insisting. DID/OSDD-1 isn’t like having kin or tulpa. DID/OSDD-1 systems can’t just decide not to identify with kin or to aim for tulpa of different races; we can’t choose our alters. We have no control over how they form or present. Again, if we had control over the process, we would choose not to have alters at all. DID/OSDD-1 are mental illnesses, and like all other mental illnesses, they’re things that we struggle to control and live with, not anything where choice comes into play. To be perfectly honest, I find it offensive that you are implying otherwise. 

I hope that this helps,

-Katherine of Those Interrupted

Creating Your Character

If you’ve been following us for a while, you know that we here at SOC believe there are no rules when creating an original character. Everyone has to follow their own process and their own path to create characters that make sense for themselves and their stories! However, today I’d like to take a moment to talk to you about a couple ways you can get started on that new character you know you’re supposed to be working on. Remember, these aren’t hard-and-fast rules - these are suggestions!

One way to get those creative juices flowing is to brainstorm. What does this character need to do in your story? What’s their purpose for existing? Warning: if you can’t answer these two questions, you might not really need this character, so think carefully! Consider what kinds of personality traits would be beneficial for filling their role, or what traits could cause conflict and complicate the story. Think about where they must have come from to end up where they are today: if you need a character to be the evil CEO of a company trying to steal your protagonist’s designs, you’re going to have to explain how the evil CEO got to be where they are somehow, and why they’re doing what they’re doing. Brainstorming can be kind of a chaotic approach - I like to call it throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks - but if you’ve been stuck for a while it might help! Just make sure to write down everything you come up with without judging it right now. You can always refine your ideas later, but you have to be able to remember what they were!

A more visual approach to character creation is starting with a mental image of the character. Imagine their face, their clothes, how they walk, how they stand…and then dig into the details and try to use those things to figure out who they are. A character who walks aggressively could be confident, or they could be scared. A character who slouches might spend all day in front of a computer or might be trying to disappear. What is the character wearing? Yoga pants could mean an athlete or a couch potato or someone running errands, while a tuxedo has totally different connotations. This is similar to brainstorming, but you’re using the character’s appearance to extrapolate their personality and/or history instead of their role.

If you need a more methodical approach, try making a list of all the things you think you really need to know about your character - this is where a lot of profile worksheets start, so if grabbing a blank profile worksheet works better for you, do that instead. Next, fill in the things you already know about the character, whatever those things may be; you might only have a name, but it’s a start! Once you have the information you already know down, you can start filling in what you don’t know. Some of these things might be hard to figure out until you actually start writing about the character, and that’s okay! Just do what you can for now. The downside to this approach is that sometimes we get so caught up in filling in the blank fields that we forget to make sure that everything connects back to the character to form a cohesive whole, so make sure you read it over a few times and look for places where you can tighten it up!

Finally, for some people, all this planning in advance just doesn’t work. If you’re one of these people, you might feel kind of frustrated when you sit down to make a new character by any of the previous methods. That’s okay! Look, some of us can only figure out what we’re thinking when we start getting it down on the page. If you need to write character sketches or go off-track with your story to figure out who your character is, that’s totally fine, and it’s a completely valid way to create a character! This approach is a little more organic and a lot more hands-on, because the character grows directly from your imagination and your story without any kind of framework to latch on to. You might want to take notes as you figure things out, but don’t be afraid to experiment!

However you choose to create a character, whatever you do, just make sure that it works for you. Don’t forget: you can write as many drafts as you need to, so it’s okay if the character you create now isn’t exactly the character they will be in your final draft! Characters, like stories, can evolve over time. They can be polished up, broken down, put back together, polished some more. You can add things or remove them, or even just alter whole aspects of the character as necessary. Make some mistakes and learn from them, and whatever you choose to do, don’t stop writing! Good luck!

-Kyo

The Agent

*okay, I thought I had this posted but I guess now. Enjoy!*


Derek didn’t need to see the signs to know he was in the right place. Instead, he knew he was there because of the noise that was being generated. The thin walls did little to mask the yelling that was going on, some in English the rest in Japanese. That’s why I’m here. He thought to himself. Derek was an image consultant. He provided input and specific changes to boost a person’s career. Such as now. With a long and healthy client list it left him in near constant demand. Yet, this was going to be the most interesting one yet. The yelling got louder as he approached the door.

“You don’t understand! We want Babymetal in the US but….”

Derek opened the door and was quite surprised at the scene. His new client, Suzuka Nakamoto, was in the process of thoroughly trashing the room. A string of profanities coming from her mouth as another PR rep and translator cowered in the corner. Immediately a look of relief washed over them as they arrived.

“Good, you’re here. Handle this.” The executive stated while scampering out of the room. The female translator looked slightly horrified at the prospect of staying any longer.

“You won’t be needed.” He said, and she took that cue to leave. Derek took off his glasses and wait for Suzuka to finally notice him.

“Oh another American. Fantastic. What are you going to do American Boy? Threaten me like that man baby that just whimpered out of here?”

Derek was silent for a moment as he considered. Give her a ball and chain and she’s Gogo from Kill Bill. Apparently the silence was a bad idea.

“You won’t even speak? I guess I’ll have to wreck you like I do this room!” As if to emphasize her point she picked up the plastic trashcan and sent it hurling across the room. It hit the far well and spilled its’ contents over.

“Are you done?” Those were his first words and brought her rampage to a screeching halt. She eyed him incredulously at his near flawless Japanese. She kicked the chair next to her. “Fix that and sit down.”

Suzuka blinked as if she was fighting a mental command but ultimately complied. She straightened out her schoolgirl uniform and sat down across from him. Derek pulled his briefcase onto the damaged desk and clicked it open. He extracted a small bottle of water and a vial. In front of her he mixed the two together and slid it over. “Drink that. It’ll calm you down. “


Suzuka took the bottle and chugged it, tossing it behind her when she finished. “Now?”

“Nothing.” Derek closed his briefcase as stood up. “I’ve met you and we’ll meet again tomorrow to discuss your deal. Hopefully under less strenuous circumstances.”

Before she could respond he left the room leaving her surrounded by her disaster.

***

“Do it again for me.” Hitomi pushed her massive breasts together creating a deep canyon of cleavage. She sat on her knees at the end of the bed; her brown eyes wide and inviting.

“Are you sure?” Derek asked. He was looking straight at her trying to discern her desires.

“Very much.” Hitomi Tanaka responded. The big busted porn star was a client of his for years and every time he flew into Japan they made time for each other. She was certainly a favorite of his. He also presumed he was one of hers, and not just for his talents.

“Why?”

Hitomi looked down demurely. “There are several new girls coming up and I want to make sure I’m still the best.”

“You are the best.”

“I want to be sure.” Hitomi looked at him with the big brown eyes. “Can I get a top off?’

It was a game they often played against each other, but both knew the ultimate outcome. “Very well.”

“Yay!” Hitomi dove at him. She attacked his pants with gusto, fumbling with the buttons til they popped free. The brunette yanked and removed the pants off his person til he was clad in just his boxers. His overburdened boxers. Derek was endowed, overly endowed in some estimations but not to his clientele. His dick was, on average, 17 inches long and 3.5 inches thick. It was supported by two testicles that were each the size of large oranges. Each one constantly churned producing enough sperm to impregnate the most infertile of women. Yet, that was not the main reason he was so in demand.

It started when he was entering puberty. He was in a car accident that he was able to walk away from. However the accident had pressed on his brain and glands and crossed wires that were never meant to touch. The result: He had a degree of control over his body and could alter certain aspects. Additionally, he could ‘pass on’ some of these changes to anyone. This was discovered accidentally at first when his first girlfriend went from an A-Cup to a D-Cup after their first sexual encounter. Now he worked as a consultant for some of the biggest names around

Back in the present, Hitomi was noisily slurping at him member, bring it up to its full length. Amazingly, she was able to fit the plum sized head in her mouth as she worked. The petite vixen pressed forward and wrapped her massive mammaries around his rod. She started to press them in and out, up and down his tool. A simultaneous titfuck and blow job was always something special. Derek let out a soft grunt as Hitomi kept it up.

“Hitomi, I’m gonna cum!” She looked up at him, mouth still wrapped around his towering member and nodded. It was obvious what she was saying. Give it to me! Make me bigger! Cum for me!

Derek went off like a cannon. His cock abruptly straightened then unleashed a torrent of spunk. Hitomi caught the first blast in her mouth; her cheeks bulged out like a chipmunk as she tried to keep up. Yet, Derek, as usual, was putting out too much. Hitomi pushed off as several more shots rang out. Some nearly hitting the ceiling before splashing back down on the small Japanese woman.

When he was spent Hitomi took a few minutes to collect her. She scooped up all his seed and swallowed it down, awaiting the increase she knew was going to follow. “Are you done?”

“The night’s still young.” Derek responded, already his member was swelling back to full mast.

***

Suzuka stared into the mirror. She blinked repeatedly as she examined her naked form. Something is off here. Her hands went to her breasts, cupping them experimentally. They seem bigger. She squeezed one of her nipples and gasped as the pleasure hit her. More sensitive too. She turned and gave the mirror a the side view. Is my butt fuller too?

She may have had doubts about her body, but she certainly didn’t have doubts about something else. I’m horny, really horny. She set aside those body changes for now as she moved to her dresser. Opening up the top drawer she extracted a rather large vibrator. She eyed the device critically. That American. What was his name? He’ll be my fantasy tonight.

***

Derek strolled into the office feeling a bit more chipper. Sex with Hitomi last night was wonderful as always. Of course it got out of hand as always. In the end, he had to reduce their sizes to a more manageable level. Not that he didn’t enjoy his busty Japanese vixen with breasts larger than her entire body, nor did he disapprove of the 40 inch cock that was fucking them. However, reality was a dealbreaker. He had gone back down to a ‘modest’ 17 inch member and orange sized testicles, while Hitomi had gone to a wonderful 32KK. They were nearly large enough to fill her lap now, and that was certainly a goal they agreed upon.

Time to see how my new client is doing. The water he gave her had traces of his spunk mixed in, and it would leave her horny and experiencing the first of her changes.

Suzuka was sitting in her chair, her behavior much better than yesterday. However, she was twitching ominously like she was fighting some internal force.

“Suzuka, you’re looking well today. Much better behaved too.”

The tiny japanese woman didn’t respond for several seconds, so Derek continued: “So, are you still interested in signing over? I have the paperwork here.”

“What happened?” She finally said.

“What happened?” Derek merely shrugged. “I gave you something that made you a little more agreeable.”

“More agreeable?” She looked at him incredulously, flashing those big brown eyes. “What?”

“Cum. Mine to be precise. I see it already made some changes to you.”

Instead of being upset, and rightfully so; her face devolved into a smirk. “Cum. You gave me cum?”

“Exactly.” He went on to explain. “I felt it was necessary to increase your appeal.”

Suzaka reached up and cupped her expanded boobs. Her former A-cups had swelled over the evening to something closer to a large B or small C. Her body shook again when she cupped them; already her nipples were rock hard and visible through the thin material of her clothing. “Ohh…god that feels good.”

Her eyes snapped open when the obvious realization hit her. “So, what happens if I drink from the source?”

“So many things.”

Derek didn’t get a chance to respond further before Suzuka leapt at him. Ordinarily, the petite Japanese girl would have no chance of knocking the much bigger man down. However, the surprise of the moment caught him off guard. Their bodies joined mid air before slamming back to earth. Derek grunted as he absorbed the impact, but there was little time to react. Suzuka peppered his face with kisses. Her nimble fingers popping buttons off his shirt with alarming speed. Soon her kisses moved off his face to his bare chest. Not to be left out, her fingers were working over the industrial strength button and zipper that held back his straining member.

Finally, Suzuka sat back as she freed the button. Like a child peering in a Christmas box, Suzuka’s eyes were wide as she pulled back the zipper. Each click of the zipper brought even more excitement to her as inches of his bulging member sprang free.

“Wow.” Her tiny hands tried to wrap around his nearly erect member, but the 17 inch cock bigger than her arm. Instead, her hands started to jerk it, full strokes travelled the length of the cock, a small bubble of precum seeping out from her minstrations. “So big.”

“It’s a decent size.” Derek responded flatly.

“Decent?” Suzuka stopped her handjob. “What do you mean?”

“It gets bigger.” He grinned as her eyes went anime level wide.

“How big?” There was now a glint in her eye. He knew it well; the sparkle of someone that saw a host of possibilities. Sexual possibilities.

“As big as you want.” As if to punctuate that statement, his member started swelling. It expanded with the beat of his heart.

“Bigger!” She started to chant. “Bigger!”

“And you too!” Derek pointed out from the floor. “We’re gonna expand you too.”

Her handjob temporarily abated discarded every article of clothing she wore until the japanese beauty was standing in the buff. She gestured with her hands “How big? Like Hitomi big?”

Derek arched an eyebrow. So she is a fan of Hitomi? Already the thoughts of last night conjured up in his head. Hitomi Tanaka bouncing up and down on him with beanbag sized breasts, and when he took her from behind, the massive rump quivering with every thrust from his monumental member. “Bigger.”

Hands flew to his member, pumping it for dear life while her tongue danced around the slit, lapping up his precum as soon as it appeared. It was cute how she looked, sucking on his member like it was a lollipop. Her small breasts heaving as she gulped down the river of cum that his mammoth member was leaking. Already it was beyond the 17 inch size it started; rapidly approaching 2 feet of thick pussy pleasing cock. Veins crisscrossed the length; pulsing with blood as it continually swelled it size.
The changes were starting to happen now. Derek’s mind was directing it. Suzuka’s waist was expanding, moving from petite proportions to a more exaggerated and albeit sexier physique. It was necessary though, as her butt was increasing in size as well. It expanded quickly, surpassing such stars as J.Lo and Iggy Azalea to become a beast of its’ own. Incredibly firm, but still squeezable. Had she noticed Suzuka was sure to enjoy testing out it’s pliability and pleasure. However, the petite Japanese girl was not paying attention to her expanding derriere.

Her attention was rapt on her breasts. With every lick they swelled larger and larger. Starting at a B-Cup, her tits descended with every lick. Already they were well past D-Cups, swelling ever larger but not unappealing. Instead, they retained an amount of firmness belying their size.

“It goes even faster if I’m inside.” Derek told her. Without a speaking, Suzuka move around until she was positioned over the ever-growing member. One hand steadied the cock as she slowly lowered herself down.

Immediately Suzuka came. Her head thrown back as the head of the 30 inch cock pressed its’ way inside. Her breathing went ragging as more member slipped inside. Suzuka’s body reshaped itself to accommodate his organ; bone and vitals reorganized to allow the now 35 inch tool to slip inside. There was a fair bit of magic involved as well, by all accounts the head of Derek’s colossal cock should be up near her neck. Instead it felt like it was still buried deep inside her, a pocket dimension of dick and cunt ensuring both would be satisfied.

Her tits kept growing as she tried to bounce up and down on the prestigious member, her body unable to cope yet with her radical change. Her breasts took on a teardrop shape as they swelled larger, eclipsing her narrow waist as they went. Derek was pleased as the mammaries eclipsed her body; coming to sit on his chest before spilling to either side of him. His hands sunk into the soft, pliable flesh as it increased in size.

His hands rolled over her turgid nipples, each nub several inches long now, growing in size to remain semi proportional to the massive mammaries. Suzuka paused as he pulled on them, her body locked in place as her mind struggled to cope with the wave of pure pleasure that cascaded over her. Her eyes were almost anime level huge, her mouth looked into an O as her body rebooted.

Still, her body kept changing, her ass would be the stuff of legends; both soft and firm at the same time, his hands sunk in but also give loud *thwap* when it was smacked. Yet, there was something else going on. Derek had long since stopped directing the changes to the hyper busted and bootied Japanese girl. He was feeding off her own wants and desire. It was Suzuka that kept enlarging her own body to these proportions. Even as she kept bouncing upon his cock her brain commanded a larger figure. Her pace was slowing though, this position was getting too much for the vixen.

Derek forced her back and switched position. Instead of Suzuka bouncing up and down upon his cock, which was an increasingly difficult position for the busty woman, he moved her so she was on her knees. It was his favorite position. Suzuka’s body rested on her monumental breasts. He had to admit that she looked adorable in this position; her ass sticking up and out while the rest of the body rolled on her tits. His hand again left a red mark as he smacked it across that butt.

With his cock still buried inside her, he grabbed two handfuls of swollen booty and started pumping. She resisted at first, but that soon melted away to pleasure. Her body rocked in time, synchronizing to his actions; meeting his thrusts with pushes of her own. Her words went from encouragement to swearing to a series of moans and coos that rose and fell with her unending series of orgasm.

His balls swelled dramatically as they fucked. No longer were they orange sized orbs; now they were easily the size of basketballs. The two cum factories sloshed with every thrust; a constant stream of jizz at the read. Every time he bottomed out into the oversized as his balls smacked her thighs.

“I’m gonna cum” He manage through strained teeth. His balls were bubbling and his own pleasure was building up. It was like trying to hold back the ocean with a broom.

He gave one last thrust, his hardest yet, and let go. His testicles seized the chance, pulling close before dropping; unleashing a wave of spunk and pleasure that always have him the chills. His skin puckered as all his energy shot out of his cock into his immobile partner.

Suzuka’s eyes rolled back in her head as she experienced her last, and largest orgasm. Her entire body shook as gallons of spunk pumped into her body. Despite all logic or reason, 40 inches of cock jerked and unloaded, the entire 6 inch thick member refusing to soften before Derek’s balls were completely drained. She let out a piercing scream for which she was famous.

Her belly bulged as she struggled to absorb all of his spunk. As if to punctuate the situation, her breast swelled larger than ever. Her tits were more than willing to take her abused sex couldn’t. Finally, his cock seemed to run out of steam; a final spurt and he was spent. The damage was done however.

“Are you going to sign?” Derek asked as he gently set her down and started to pull out. His cock was slick from their combined juices. Even now her abused sex was leaking out what cum her body didn’t absorb, her huge ass quivered as Derek ran a hand across it and squeezed. She finally came off her orgasm, her entire body refusing to respond for several minutes. Her breathing came in shallow ragged breaths as she struggled to regain a sense of normality. Finally, she spoke up.

“If I can have that again….” Suzuka responded, drunk off an orgasmic high that few would or could ever experience. She drunkenly stumbled to the desk, found the paperwork, and managed a nearly illegible scrawl. With that work done, she smiled at her lover and promptly passed out.

“I’m sure that can happen.” With his powers, Derek started to revert the busty Japanese pixie to a more reasonable level. Nothing on the scale of Hitomi, but certainly much better than average woman. Her stomach went back to its’ flat self while the bean bag sized breasts retreated until they were small D-Cups. Just as well, her ass shrunk until it was more normal sized, still pert and slappable, but no longer an oversized rear that would make Kim Kardashian jealous. Haven’t heard from her in awhile.

As for Derek, he cleaned off his slick cock and slowly let it retreat to a more reasonable size. With a sigh, he hefted the now 13 inch soft member and managed to stuff it back in his pants. All of his clothes were relatively clean, and he no longer had any business here.

***

Derek left the room, thoroughly satisfied with the results. Suzuka was too. Or should would be when she regained consciousness. His business concluded, Derek made his way out to the lobby and hailed a cab. As the cab pulled forward his cell phone buzzed.

“Derek, where are you?” A husky feminine voice asked.

“Tokyo. I’m concluding some business.” He hopped in and spoke to the driver. “Haneda Airport please. Why?”


“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you….I want you in my bed….and in me.” Kat Dennings purred into the phone. Derek could already tell that she wanted a little upgrade too. She was going to get it too. She was one of his favorite clients. She was sex distilled to its’ essence, liquefied, and poured into the shape of a person. Insatiable, their sessions could last days on end. Derek felt his member twitch.

“It’s a 10 hour flight to LA.” He stated, but she didn’t sound disappointed.

“Good, you can get plenty of rest on the flight.” She teased.

“How big?”

“The sky’s the limit.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

***

Sun in the Third House

psa: never isolate a singular placement as its expression can be altered by aspects, house placement and sign. a person is the sum of their natal chart in its entirety and placements need to be considered within the context of the whole chart.

The Sun represents the ego and the placement of the Sun can indicate where and how we ‘feed’ this ego. People with their Sun in the 3rd house want nothing more than to be the big fish in a little pond because they feel as though they truly ‘shine’ in their immediate environment. They want the people near them to know their name, and often this is the case as these natives are blessed with the Gemini wit and sociability, regardless of their actual Sun sign. Usually, people with this placement emit a girl/boy next door vibe and could be very involved or even at the centre of community projects. 

Given that the third house is ruled by Mercury, the planets in the 3rd can reveal our relationship or attitude towards knowledge itself. While the Moon in the 3rd may seek knowledge for the security it brings them, third house Suns want to gain knowledge for the ego boost and the sense of purpose it gives them. Their sense of self worth may come from their intellectual abilities and their academic achievements can be a source of pride. They may find themselves feeling a sense of rivalry and competing with their siblings or peers in the intellectual arena. This could be subtle or rather obvious, either way, it is a potential issue worth considering. 

Ultimately, third house Suns need to feel heard and noticed by their surroundings. They truly come alive when they are able to express themselves and exchange ideas with others. They are articulate and their talents usually lie in communication, both the written and spoken word. These natives may find themselves working within the sphere of media (depending on the condition of the 6th and 10th houses) and often go on to express themselves via songwriting, novel writing, poetry or various media outlets. 

Some notable people with their Sun in the 3rd House include;

John Keats (a prominent poet within the Romantic movement) 

 Allen Ginsberg (a leading poet of the Beat Generation) 

 Aldous Huxley (writer of classic dystopian novel, Brave New World) 

 Edgar Allan Poe (poet) 

 Stephen King (horror writer) 

 Doreen Virtue (new age writer and creator of the angel oracle cards, i own one of her decks myself)

vampiregirl2345  asked:

I feel like i was sort of holding a grudge and she doesnt deserve that. I know she is sensitive to negativity and i didnt mean to upset her. Im not going to defend my comments about suicide because that will sound like im trying to gain pity. I just wanna be friends again.

I’m going to tell you a story that, initially, may not seem to have relevance, but I promise it does.


September 30th, 2015. Yes. I remember the date. It was that defining of a moment for me.

I have been in transition for two years. My feminism has blossomed to the point where I am beginning to understand, engage, and argue the nuance of some of the broader concepts of intersectionality, equality, and equity.

So when a post about autism came across my feed (this was in the days where I was active on Facebook), I read it to learn. I read it because I was disabled, and I wanted to broaden my understanding of neurodiversity and include those people in my activism.

I read it.

I shared it.

I learned from it.

I didn’t just share, but I commented on the important, nuanced points of the article. Who are we to deny care and treatment to a low functioning autistic? Who are we to make that choice for them?

It’s all good and well that there are autistics that can speak for themselves. But what about those autistics? You know, the real ones.

Of course, my post wasn’t worded that way. It was couched in the niceties and pleasantries of a well meaning, very ignorant person, trying to do right by a community they didn’t understand.

But the article wasn’t written by an autistic. It was written by an autism mom. It wasn’t written by a professional, it was written by an abuser. Being an undiagnosed autistic, I took the article face value.

I read it.

I shared it.

I learned for it.

Just… not in the way I expected.

Much to my surprise, there was a shit storm on my feed. The people closest to me, the people that informed my feminism, that I tried my hardest to script off of learn from, they were angry.

I was new at feminism, so I engaged instead of listened. What I heard were arguments, because that is what I expected. What they were saying was, “you are talking about us.”

Here I was, openly and fervently supporting eugenics and cure rhetoric, based on the arguments of a woman that openly supported shock therapy as an aversive in ABA, and all my friends wanted me to do was stop and listen.

I don’t remember who said what, but fairly quickly into the arguments someone said something and it did click that some of these people might be autistic. I still had new clue who, but it didn’t matter. I recognized that I fucked up. That I had just told someone I considered a friend, “I am okay with killing you.”

Clearly, not okay.

One of those friends approached me privately saying “We need to talk.” I’m pretty sure it was in those words. And we did. For sixteen hours later.

What finally clicked for me was that it is an issue of bodily autonomy, and violation of bodily autonomy. In short, which is worse? Not curing a person who wants to be cured, or curing a person who doesn’t want to be cured.

Do I, as person, have the right to irrevocably alter a fundamental aspect of a person if they do not to? Of course not. It becomes a moral question then; do we have the right to cure someone if they can’t understand their preference and consent clearly, if the risk to that is curing someone who doesn’t want to be. For me, this answer is no, we do not have that right, when that is the risk.

This, however, was not the defining moment. It was came next that fundamentally shaped the way that I behave.

I made new post, the exact wording of which I don’t remember. The way I answered it however, has become one of my most important scripts.

I stated what I did.

I stated that it hurt people.

I stated that I was beginning to understand how.

I stated that I needed to learn my.

I stated what my intent was.

I stated that I understand that intent is secondary to effect.

I stated that I was sorry that my actions caused harm.

The response to the post was… phenomenal. The people I hurt forgave me. And then they proceed to help me learn. And while I was close to some of those people before this all happened, we become closer.

All of the people that I did not know were autistic (all of my closest online friends, surprise!) came together to educate me - which included outing me to myself. We have all since become family, a family which over the last two years has grown to about 20 people total. Two of those people (the two I was closest to at the time) have become some of the most amazing partners I have ever had.

It’s probably obvious on the surface how this relates, but there’s a specific point that I want to make with this story.

It isn’t what we screw up or how we screw up that defines us. It is what comes after that defines us.

I don’t know if your friend will forgive you for what you did or said to her. I’m not here to tell you that everything will be okay. I ended up with two great partners and a family of 20 out of ignorant ableism, and that’s not something everyone gets. I wish it weren’t so, but that’s just life.

So apologize to her. As best as you know how. State what you did. State that you hurt her. State that you understand how. State that you learning. State what your intent was - good or bad (and if it is bad, acknowledge that!) - and state that you understand that the effect of what you did hurt her.

And then say you’re sorry.

It’s up to her, after that. But however she responds - be it rejection or forgiveness - know that you did your best.

We’re human. We make mistakes. That doesn’t mean we can’t learn and grow to become better people for it. When we do, you’d be amazed what people are capable of genuinely forgiving.