also; have the be all and end all quote for these idiots

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

MBTI types as Inspirobot quotes:

Note: made this with @rest-in-agreste. Inspirobot is an artificial intelligence (just like cleverbot) that creates senseless random quotes.

INTJ

„Friends are created to suck the life out of your hidden potential.“

“Public education can be similar to a laboratory experiment. It feels normal after a while.”

“There is no such thing as kindness, just death sentence.”

“Nothing is as beautiful as fresh blood.”

“What if delicacies are delicacies because you don’t know any better?”

“With limited masterpiece comes limited mystery.”

“If you value appreciation you have to value polar bears as well.”

INTP

„Ordering an elephant in order to torture a chimp is not as weird for the chimp as it is for the elephant.“

“Education is just opium in space.”

“Happiness is just like the inside of a whale, although not for everyone except idiots.”

“Politics are like a tea party; nobody cries until you give them a singing pickle.”

“You don’t need a projector in order to raise the dead.”

“Every time you laugh at procrastination, you also laugh at groins.”

“The register is on top of the hierarchy.”

ENTJ

„When you’re around young people, don’t forget to crush your enemies.”

“Control earth!”

“Finding inner peace is not a question of ‘how passionate’, but ‘with what army’.”

“If you understand how to hate it, you understand how to sterilize it.”

“Politics is fun if power is your passion.”

“In the modern world efficiency is as rare as leprechaun cake.”

“The axis of success is made of intimidation, willpower and Italy.”

ENTP

„The geniuses who sacrifice the financial elite are just as bad as the geniuses who have no idea how to sacrifice old people.”

“Life is short. Die.”

“Ridicule facial hair. Ridicule the law.”

“’Patent office’ is latin and means ‘whore house’.”

“Democracy is very much like a box of chocolate. Useless.”

“There ain’t no love like the love for the weed.”

“The devil is a beautiful flower.”

INFP

„Trust is 1 percent groping and 99 percent mindfulness.“

“Smelly feet are like Satan, they make us feel pain in a way no one could’ve ever imagined.”

“A lot of men wish to become husbands because it’s all a game to them.”

“If you ever feel sad, you need more quotes.”

“If I call you, I don’t call you because cucumber.”

“The price of the north is not a price the society is going to pay.”

“Mooses are red, Cowboys are blue, the government is cruel and this fact is true.”

INFJ

“Between the wind and your pretty face lies the human race.”

“Our body fluids begin, when we learn to say ‘no’ to social structures.”

“Chemistry can be similar to a public toilet, it eats you up from the inside.”

“The world is made of crime and polka dot dresses.”

“The seals are not poop if you believe in Christmas.”

“The Russians, beware.”

“If you can’t afford to lose your printer you should make sure to pray to god.”

ENFJ

“Hunt. Hate. Hunt evil.”

“The more we eat cake, the more we love our life.”

“Don’t believe in your girlfriend’s loneliness. Just go outside.”

“When you seek to be taken for who you are, ask.”

“The funniest poems are those that hide murder in it.”

“Whenever I look at the beautiful sun I want it to turn black.”

“If you need a hero, go find the barista.”

ENFP

“I usually love hugs but hugs doesn’t love me.”

“Keep eating.”

“A man is not lasagna until he is loved.”

“A good friend is someone who is octopus.”

“She was a lonely girl until she found a lonely puppy.”

“Move your feet on the tree trunk.”

“The weed is real.”

ISTJ

“Corruption will only end if we end horseback riding.”

“The only thing you need to achieve spiritual healing is a beautiful body and a deck of cards.”

“Buy electricity when winter arrives.”

“7665.”

“Tired of all the lies, promises and doors.”

“I work for the child.”

“A kind heart is worth more than a chess game.”

ISFJ

“Never give up, pretend and look at your own grave.”

“My love for plant growing is eternal, just like the lemons.”

“Heaven is reincarnation, metaphorically speaking.”

“The alcohol is not good but it wants to be good for me.”

“Travelling is the heaven to the cross.”

“And one day everybody leaves for the cooking.”

“Snails are in the trains.”

ESTJ

“The fluids the French.”

“Between constitution and law lies the yeti.”

“A personal assistant is not the same as balance alone in an empty field.”

“We cannot transform ourselves by drawing, only by infecting.”

“A beautiful person is a beautiful subordinate.”

“Envy is not the best feminism.”

“One day you’re going to wake up next to the dog of your dreams.”

ESFJ

“The only difference between a horse and a riddle is that a riddle doesn’t fear death.”

“If you really want to seem like somebody you’re not, you must know how to think positive.”

“The news are not real.”

“Everyone is a book with a murdering ending.”

“We mature with the Russians not with the years.”

“Always be kind and eventually grave will be rewarded for it.”

“Watch out when he finds you at night.”

ISTP

“Don’t despise death.”

“The flat earth. Made of people?”

“If you are talking about a bad marriage, you are a killer.”

“Between humanity and a near death experience lies abuse.”

“On Monday, whatever you have envied can’t be unenvied.”

“It’s practical to be a bush.”

“I am a bottle full of liquorish.”

ISFP

Maybe our souls can be beauty someday?”

“Support passion.”

“Artists paint with passion while murderers paint with blood.”

“Music is the best comfort when period.”

“And slowly my tears turn into colors.”

“When I dance my feet are camping.”

“I close my step-aunt and let it go.”

ESTP

„Try to make it so, that somebody cries in the night.“

“You are a pathetic piece of meat.”

“Time doesn’t quit heroin.”

“Earth is just a silver coin going in circles.”

“We cannot change the system through talking, we can only change the system through being pathetic.”

“With actual deals come actual diseases.”

“Alternative facts are geological lifestyle.”

ESFP

„Where elections end, erections begin.“

“Don’t stop rubbing.”

“Don’t rely on your boyfriend’s jealousy, just jump.”

“After the young woman comes the love making.”

“You are good for sex but not good for documentation.”

“Shout it grateful, because all the outlet is a stage.”

“Welcome to the show doesn’t mean welcome to the tragedy.”

anonymous asked:

I feel so stupid lol ☺️ but i really need to ask this, i am 16-17 and i wanna be more girly and like lil'woman, how can i? Thank you soooo much again 💕

 Oh! You want to be more “girly” ? Well, I’m going to take in fact what girly normally means in this sense and use it like that ahhah! Don’t feel stupid, though.

First thing’s first:

You have your own style that is unique to you…etc. You don’t have to be something else, though if you are currently not happy with yourself and are working on self improvement, I encourage you to do so. Let’s start with some basics on what “girly” or “feminine” is! 

Girly is basically acting in very feminine and liking feminine things. However, there is MUCH more to it than just the look. I’m going to start off with the more “mature” side of things, as you said you wanted to be more like a woman (which includes maturity) and then we can work on other things! It’s not just a style, it’s a mindset. The “fuck you i’m going to get my goals” mindset.

Embracing yourself:

/Note: None of this is set in stone. This is just my opinion on to help her grow into a stronger and more mature woman.

  • Do not take shit. Walk with your head high and smile. If someone puts you down, ask yourself: “Is this a logical problem or is it opinionated?” If it is opinionated, ignore it. If it is logical and backed with evidence and reasoning, take it into factor and make note to work on that.
  • Learn to treat yourself. It’s okay to want to spend a little extra money on yourself sometimes.
  • Be independent. Don’t rely on others to get things done for you. Your homework is your homework. Your job is your job. Be independent and don’t rely on them to do it for you!
  • Treat yourself and others with respect. I have a rule, instead of just “you have to earn my respect” I say: “I respect until you disrespect, and at that point, I drop all respect I’ve had for you.”
  • Fight immaturity with maturity. If someone is being messy as hell, fight back with maturity. Give no fucks. Show no mercy. When they call you a name and try to fight, if you want to piss them off AND come off as mature, say something like: “Honestly, I have goals to reach. I don’t have time for you to be immature and try to ruin that for me.” And walk off.
  • Don’t be afraid to break sometimes. It happens to the strongest of people. There is no way I could count how many times I sat in bed at night trying to stop crying. Cry, and afterwards, take a deep breath and tell yourself that you’ll get through this.
  • DO NOT let people dictate who you are. Don’t let these little boys or girls tell you that you need to look like this or that. Don’t let them tell you who you should be. Not even your parents are allowed to tell you who to be. If they try, pretend to obey but do the exact opposite. Be who YOU are.
  • Get your schoolwork done, babe. Seriously this is important, it isn’t about the grades. It’s about furthering your knowledge and showing everyone that you can do what they think you can’t.
  • Have fun! Have fun if you want, but be safe.
  • Do everything with confidence, even if you have to fake it!
  • Follow your passions. Maybe you like dance, singing art, makeup or whatever else. Do it. 
  • Remember that if anyone ever says you fucked them, that only gives you power.
  • If you’re giving an assignment wednesday and are told you need it finished by friday, work on it wednesday. Cut off all distractions and work on that assignment. Afterwards, write down everything you didn’t understand. The next day, spend time learning about what you didn’t understand and proofread the assignment 3 times. This applies for ALL days.
  • Exams coming up soon? Stop staying up all night studying. Study in 10-15 minute intervals with 5 minute breaks. Quiz yourself every hour to find your weak links and then study those. What are you scared of failing most? Focus on that.
  • You’re 16-17. You know about sex. You know how it works. You may have already have sex. This is okay. All I ask of you is to be safe. Do NOT rely on someone to have condoms, if you need, go buy them yourself. Know how to do things safely. Remember: Kink isn’t spontaneous, it’s safe words. Anal isn’t a quick slip, it’s reading articles on how to do it and lube. Be safe, be real.
  • In the case that you get pregnant: Breathe. Make your choices. Do what you need to do and always remember that you can run in my askbox and talk to me about everything. I will always be here to listen. You can also read articles and such on parenting advice, how to do it as a teenager..etc.
  • I’m telling you the above because I’ve had friends who got pregnant at 15-16 or 17 and didn’t know what to do.
  • Also: 
  • Don’t slut shame  or talk bad about girls who want to have sex and have lots of it. Instead, encourage them to do it safely.
  • Don’t put anyone down that isn’t as popular as you. Bring them up. 
  • Being sweet will get you a long way.
  • Act twice your age if you want to look really mature in front of all the teachers and shit. Literally you can read articles..etc. on maturity.
  • Remember that maturity does not mean you can’t have fun.
  • If you feel depressed…etc. talk to someone. Don’t be silent.
  • One of the first signs I ever had of anorexia was that I craved the disorder. Which means I literally wanted to be it. Little did I know it was going to drag me through hell. If you have these thoughts, get help.
  • Do not be afraid of going to get help from a professional.

Inspirational Shit:

/Note:  Take notes on these. Take them to heart. Carry them with you like a blankie to a baby and don’t let go of them.

  • “All flowers must start as sprouts.” -  Me
  • “To fight or to cower down, that is the question. The question in which you should answer from the ground, even face down in the dirt, bloody and bruised from life with a smirk. Because to fight when you’re down is the most courageous thing.” - Me
  • “And she will bow to no one nor anything, and the day she does, you should fear.” - Me
  • “Learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist.” - Picasso
  • “Don’t run backwards, no never, even if it breaks down, oh better.” - Tomorrow
  • “If you feel like you’re going to crash, accelerate you idiot.” - Nevermind
  • “You don’t need a ‘reason’ to live. Live because you can. Live because in the end, even if it hurts, you don’t need a reason to live. All that matters is that you’re here.” - Me
  • “If I ever break through the wall of failure, people will be in awe at the sight of me rising from nothingness.” - Me
  • “Some girls are full of heartache and poetry and those are the kind of girls who try to save wolves instead of running away from them.” - Nikita Gill  //Be one of those girls. - me//
  • If you want to truly live, you have to be tested, whether by yourself or the cruel game of life. - Me
  • Stop living in fear of what might happen and start living in what is happening. - Me
  • “Don’t fashion me into a maiden that needs saving from a dragon. I am the dragon and I will eat you whole.” - Unknown
  • “She spun herself a crown of gold, thrones of bones and citadels, to the deaf stars she screamed: make me queen or I’ll make you bleed.” M.J.
  • “You’re masking past failure with your present success and it’s both beautiful and terrifying, like watching a witch write your name in the stars.” A.Ashstar
  • Lmao there’s a lot from me but most of them have literally kept my best friends from dying so I added them anyways.
  • “Touch me and you’ll burn.” - Margaret Atwood
  • This photographers work will inspire you
  •  “You’re worth it, you’re perfect, you deserve it, just work it.” - 21st Century girl 

Now we can get on to the typical “style” or such. This is just some stuff that I’ve accumulated. However there is so much more to it. You dress how YOU want to dress. Do what makes you confident. But if you want, I do have a polyvore. (celestial-sweets). Now onto some style recommendations to embrace your femininity! When most people think “feminine” they think “dress” when I think feminine, I think “gorgeous”. There will be a massive variety under this. So you can wear whatever you want and still have style recommendations.

Clothing Style:

/Note: I feel the need to say that you should wear whatever makes you confident and comfy again.

  • Chic:
  • Tucked in tank tops and body suits with jeans
  • White skinny jeans look amazing with this look
  • Get your glitter lipstick on if you want boo yes work it
  • Nude also works well
  • Normally they don’t add a lot of highlight but i you want, yesss
  • Wavy/curly hair looks gorgeous with this style
  • Heels (usually black or tan) are a hella yes
  • Mascara and nude eyeshadow
  • Natural looking brows
  • Button ups
  • Baddie:
  • Do the above with this new style too, itll work
  • But also if you wear bodycon itll be hella looking baddie
  • thigh high boots happen a lot
  • matte lipstick
  • with matte eyeshaodw but with a really clean glitter
  • yea that happens
  •  and gradient brows ive noticed
  •  but the best part about this look is that you can be casual with it and look like you’re some kinda goddess i swear
  •  literally if you toss on some highlighter, a pair of ripped jeans and a shirt with some adidas 
  • or likea bomber jacket, a sports tank and shorts, with adidas and some like nude lipstick, brown mascara and highlgihter
  •  you will literally glow like you have never glown before
  • Crop tops are a thing with this look yall
  • Hella Cute And  Casual:
  • Jeans, sweatpants
  • Toss on like a crop top hoodie and a cropped tank and boom
  • oh oh oh and if you wear an oversized plain white t shirt with like a pair of jean shorts
  • you will make heads turn
  • honestly tho and with this, you wanna have very very light eyeliner like
  • just tightline the top, light mascara, aa clear gloss on your lips
  • you will be a glowing boo without even trying
  •  AND DUDE A MESSY BUN YES
  •  but if your hair is too short for that that’s okay boo i understand, 
  • itlls still look cute as fuck
  •  Fancy As Hell:
  • Heels, strappy ass heels,
  • Small chain necklaces with tiny pendants 
  • A ring or two, with some shiny bracelets
  •  nails
  • dresses dresses more dresses
  • soft curls or straight hair works well
  • a black scarf paired with a button up shirt and some black slacks and a pair of heels will make you look like a business woman
  • or like a pencil skirt
  • but a black pleated one works too
  • stockings go well with this look
  • TBH tho just wear what you wanna wear.  
  • Remember to put an outfit together super easily you can stick to basic colors like black/tan/gray/white and throw something on so quick to look fancy
  • Also to be honest any fancy undies will make you feel so much more feminine i swear
  •  like i have some lace ones with poka dot and i cry they make me feel so good
  • EXPLORE CLOTHING!!!
  • Bbut if you want to look very mature then you should look at business women…etc. take notes on style from it and how to present yourself.

Self care:

/Note: yes boo get ur self care

  • Wash your face
  • Moisturize
  • Don’t sleep in makeup
  • Coconut oil your legs like hella
  • Don’t forget to brush your teeth darling
  • Organize and clean your room once a week
  • Get your dishes out of the room EVERY DAY
  • Go to bed at a reasonable time if you have school okay
  • Wash your clothes when the basket is almost full, not full. But almost full. And learn how to properly wash them.
  • Go on a walk once a week or do some kind of activity
  • Drink ya water girl!
  • all this is so stereotypical but idgaf
  • Watch movies sometimes
  • EXPLORE!! Safely, though
  • If there’s somewhere you want to go, start saving a little bit of money to go there
  • When you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you love you. 
  • Fight towards your goals
  • Ttake your damn vitamins boo bear. Like vitamins and nutrition support can help you so much more than you would know.
  • Don’t overwork yourself.
  • Love yourself, love myself. - RM

Okay boo that’s all the advice I have! Literally just have fun, much love dear. Always remember you can come to my ask box!! Have fun! Love yourself!!!

Guy What Takes His Time*

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Featuring: Natasha, Wanda, Sharon (mentioned) and Sam.
Rating: Mature
Summary: Wanda, Natasha and Sam think Steve has feelings for Reader, but she tells them otherwise while actually feeling the same way for the super soldier. One evening,  they all make a plan to make both of them confess the truth.
Word Count: 2.2k
Genre: Fluff/NSFW-ish
Warnings: build-up, suggestive themes, and innuendos, mentions of alcohol, sexual tension, a little bit of roleplay, flirting, Captain kink (?) and Steve being a cute flustered bastard.
Author's Note: It’s a rewrite of the flirty scene between Natasha and Bruce in Avengers: Age of Ultron (you can expect some references, though). I thought it could be fun to switch sides with Steve and see how it goes. It’s also inspired by Guy What Takes His Time covered by Christina Aguilera in Burlesque.

  New Avengers Facility, Upstate New  York

“You did a great job, Y/N,” Steve announced in his deep voice as he passed the hallway with you, Natasha, and Wanda. “Ladies.” He stopped in his tracks, standing with this impressive physique, almost towering in front of you as his hands held the brown belt of his- oh, so sexy uniform.

“Thank you, Captain.” You smiled and he nodded slowly as if questioning whether he would stay to have a chat with you or not. He smiled gently and proceeded to take the stairs towards his personal quarters where he’d finally take a well-deserved shower after a hard, but successful mission with you and Sam.

Of course, he would’ve loved to linger awhile and see your smile just a little longer. He enjoyed spending time with you and the feeling was mutual. Maybe that after all these days spent with him, these missions where you saved each other, being partners and all this harmless flirting, there was something between you. Your chemistry was obvious to everyone after all.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Wanda nudged your side and you winced, narrowing your eyes. “Don’t be silly, Steve likes you a lot.”

Keep reading

Medical School—A Not-So-Quick Walkthrough

Hey humans! Aunt Scripty here. This post is a submission by Brittany, whose Tumblr handle I surprisingly don’t know. This post came through the Submissions Box. If you’re interested, I encourage people to submit articles to appear on the blog! [though it may behoove us both if you message me first, as I have a few posts in-progress and I don’t want us to duplicate efforts]

Anyway, give Brittany some props! This is an awesome post, and I’m CRAZY thankful she wrote in! And now, Brittany, take it away!

Disclaimer: This applies to the American medical system only, and may be biased by the author’s experiences.  Also note that this is the process for becoming an MD, not a DO (both MDs and DOs are fully licensed physicians, but DOs have a stronger focus on the musculoskeletal system and their schooling is slightly different).

Disclaimer Part 2: I swear, this was SUPPOSED to be a brief post.  Oops.

The quick and dirty:

—4 years of undergrad

—4 years of medical school, 2 in the classroom and 2 clinical

—3-5 years of residency depending on what they specialize in.  Can be longer if they add subspecialties or fellowships.

The in-depth description:

Getting in (Premed student)

Acceptance to medical school is hard enough to start with.  There’s an estimate that 75% of applicants are qualified, but only 50% get in.  Your character doesn’t need to major in biology or pre-med, but there are pre-requisites: two semesters each of biology, chemistry, organic chemistry, calculus, and physics, plus a couple biology electives, and I think psych and statistics have been added on since I graduated, but don’t quote me on that.  That’s pretty much 2/3 of a science major right there, so you can see why a lot of people just end up with that.  During spring of junior year, they’ll take a giant standardized test called the MCAT that covers all of those topics and is notoriously difficult.

Along with the classroom work, they’ll have to get clinical experience—most commonly volunteering, shadowing, or working as a medical scribe, but you can get creative—and usually do a little research of some kind.  Med school is hard and being a doctor is harder; they want to know that you’ve got an idea of what you’re getting into.  If your character does all that right, they interview with medical schools during the fall of senior year, and hopefully get accepted!

Year 1 (MS1)

Your first year is classroom based.  You get daily lectures on very complicated medical topics, with relatively little patient interaction this year.  Schools will include more practical classes as well, including a cadaver dissection, pathology (where you train to look at cells and understand what a healthy vs. diseased one looks like; some schools are old school and have people still work with slides and microscopes, others like mine do it virtually), and standardized patient encounters (where they hire actors to come in and work with us so we can practice histories and physical exams and basically get a baseline on things like “what does a normal lung sounds like?”).

Patient interaction varies from school to school, but generally is pretty low.  You can shadow a certain specialty you’re interested in, volunteer in free clinics, join different clubs/interest groups, or do various electives that will focus on teaching certain aspects of patient care (nutrition, medical Spanish, global health, etc.), but you have to go look for them.  If I hadn’t done any of that, I would have seen maybe… two patients a month?  Most students will branch out with those other opportunities, though.

Year 2 (MS2)

Similar to MS1 in that you’re still on classroom duty, still not seeing many patients.  Typically you learn more sensitive physical exams this year (urological, gynecologic, breast, etc.), and you’re finished with the cadaver dissection, but things are otherwise the same.  At the end of your character’s MS2 year, they’ll take their first board exam, called STEP 1.  You can take it one time only unless you fail.  Low scores or a fail are really frowned on, and can limit the specialty your character goes into, so you can imagine the pressure.

Year 3 (MS3)

Yay!  Your character’s now ready to be let loose on the clinic/hospital!

Boo!  This year kicks. your. ass.

This year is all about making your character feel like an idiot putting what your character’s been studying for two years into action.  The schedule is broken up into rotations, which are periods of 4-8 weeks where students focus on a specific specialty each time.  These courses are: pediatrics, family medicine, psychiatry, ob/gyn, neurology (usually), emergency (sometimes), surgery, and internal medicine.  Difficulty varies by rotation, with surgery and ob/gyn being the worst (12 hour days with only one day off a week, max; surgery adds in occasional 24 hour shifts too, just to spice things up).  Occasionally you’ll land on a nice one, like psychiatry, with 10 hour days and free weekends.

On a more day-to-day level, third years are usually part of a small medical team that cares for a set of patients.  The team consists of an attending (fully licensed physician), residents (physicians who are training in their particular specialty), and medical students (MS3s and MS4s both).  MS3s will usually get a small subset of hospital patients they care for every day—take their histories, do their physical exams, list what you think they have, and suggest treatments/tests—but because you’re not licensed, you basically take all that to the attending/resident who hears you out and then says ‘yea’ or ‘nay.’  As the year progresses, hopefully you hear more ‘yeas’ and fewer ‘nays.’

At the end of this year/the beginning of 4th year, there’s another board exam called STEP 2.  Half is your typical multiple choice test, with a numeric score—much like STEP 1—while half is a pass/fail practical where you work with standardized patients.

Year 4 (MS4)

Hopefully by now your character has figured out what they want to specialize in.  I can go over specialties in another post if anyone’s curious, but the biggest ones are basically the same as the ones listed as core rotations during the MS3 year.  There’s a giant application/interview process that takes up the lion’s share of the summer/fall/winter for interviews with residency.  At the end of the process, everyone ranks the residencies they interviewed with from most to least favorite, and at the same time the residencies rank their interviewees from most to least.  The whole thing goes into a giant computer algorithm to give as many people as possible as high a choice as possible, and then on the same day of the year, at the same time, MS4s across the country take a deep breath and open envelopes saying where they ‘matched.’

In addition, with those pesky core rotations out of the way, the character has time to take electives that may or may not be applicable to their future specialty—me, I’m going for emergency medicine, so I’m doing several rotations in EM as well as EMS, but I’m also doing a two week course forensics because it sounds awesome.

Otherwise, 4th year is widely known as the ‘take a breath’ year.  People get married or have babies during this time, travel, and generally start to act like human beings again.  There’s space in your schedule that’s off—it’s generally intended for interviews or studying for STEP 2 if you’re taking it late, but people will use it for anything.

Residency

Not going to give too much detail about it, seeing as how your character is technically a doctor at this point, but residency is basically 3-5 years where your character trains in a specialty—yes, they’re physicians, but they don’t know everything about their particular field and need trained.  You’re in this weird limbo between student and employee; you make a salary (although a very low one considering the number of hours) and can prescribe medication, perform procedures, etc., but an attending is responsible for you, you still attend a weekly lecture, and you can’t practice independently.  To give you an idea of how hard these years are, they recently had to limit things like “don’t make residents work more than 36 hours in a row,” and “don’t put the doctor who graduated med school a month ago in charge of an entire floor of ICU patients for a night with no backup.”  Incredibly, some of the old-school attendings think said changes are a bad idea and will produce doctors who are “weak.”

Also, you thought your character was done with standardized tests?  You sweet summer child.  STEP 3 has to be finished before you can complete residency, and is usually done during intern year.  The good side of this is, you’re in a residency now, so as long as you pass, no one cares about the score.

Random notes:

—This is a sample timeline, following your ‘traditional’ student.  It’s becoming more and more common for people to take a couple of years off after undergrad and apply for medical school after that.  If you want a chance for your character to gain some non-medical life experience (travel, other skill sets, becoming a parent, etc.), this is a good chance for them to do it!

—I’ve been asked by a writer I know in RL how young someone could potentially become a doctor.  I think she wanted to put in a prodigy kind of person.  The problem with that is that medical schools don’t just look for smarts, they look for maturity—imagine having someone who looks like they can’t drink yet tell you you’ve got a terminal disease, and you can see why.  That said, there are a couple of accelerated programs, where I’ve seen people graduate undergrad a year early and go straight into medical school, or where they condense medical school into three whirlwind years because the person’s on track for a specific primary care residency.  So if most people graduate medical school at age 26-27, you could have someone out at 25 or maybe 24, but probably no younger.  And remember, they’ll still need residency training from there.

—Not gonna lie, medical school is incredibly difficult.  That said, I think the best students/doctors are the ones who maintain an outside interest or two, so don’t feel like your character can only have medical skills (*cough*Grey'sAnatomy*cough*) .  Give them a few side interests to maintain their spirit.

—I can give more detail about any and all of these if anyone asks; these are supposed to help you understand what your character has had to go through to be a doctor, not be a full detail spiel.  I can also do ‘day in the lifes’ if someone’s writing a med student character and wants an accurate description, but let’s be real: most people want to write the master, not the pupil.

Actual--Quartermaster’s 00Q rec list:

A collection of amazing works that deserve all the praise. Warnings are added to fics with major concerning aspects, however, be prepared for canon typical violence and sexual content in pretty much every fic– I mean, this is James Bond, he’d manage to get into a knife fight even in a coffee shop AU.

Quriosity by dr_girlfriend

Words: 80495  Chapters: 33/33

Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster.

“Your prior hotel is no longer secure, I will direct you to a new location. Your luggage has already been transferred. A field agent and medic from the Diréction Générale de la Sécurité d'État will be waiting at the side entrance. I have cleared them both personally.” In contrast to his crisp dry English, Q’s pronunciation of the French words was fluid and flawless, the throaty tone of the fricatives sending a surprising jolt of awareness straight to Bond’s cock — all the more remarkable given his degree of blood loss.

“You’re wasted on Q-branch, you have the voice for a phone-sex call-in line.” The words slipped out of Bond’s mouth without forethought, although he had plenty of time to think in the sudden pause that came afterward and stretched on for endless moments. Bond hadn’t realized until now how Q was always there, with an immediate reply. In all their banter Q had never before been at a loss for words. Ever.

____

I reread this fic at least once every few months, it’s that good. I have it saved in the pdfs on my phone for car rides and vacations. This fic stays so true to the characters, with everything from Q’s unceasing exasperation to Bond’s cheeky carelessness. The only bad thing I can say about it, is that it doesn’t follow my “Q is a Holmes brother” headcanon. Honestly, if you haven’t read this fic yet, it’s probably the one you’ve been looking for.

~~~

Human Error by thejabberwock

Words: 86107   Chapters: 14/14

007 is the perfect assassin, an artificial intelligence with the ability to think for itself. Human emotions were never meant to be part of its programming, and Q was never meant to be anything more than its creator.

____

Okay, this was so good, I had to contact the author (@bondsboffin) in the middle of it being written. I was going out of my mind. Bond is so complex and the style is just so intriguing. Honestly, this is the kind of fic that will make you roll on the floor in angst.

~~~

Blue-Eyed Monster by Only_1_Truth

Words: 118362   Chapters: 23/23

Yes, this version of 007 was a terrifyingly smart agent, and M wondered long and often whether it had been a good idea to promote him to the position. Usually, the title was the dangerous part - being 007 meant deadliness - but this time, M feared that a certain man with ice-blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair had dragged in more danger to the title than it had previously possessed

Enter MI6’s new Quartermaster: an unassuming, bespectacled genius with no mind for subterfuge but plenty of genius behind a dry smile. Curious 00-agents and young boffins don’t always mix in predictable ways…

____

This made me cry the first time I read it. Full of humorous chess games, dangerous double 0’s, and domestic (well, at least as close as possible to anyway) Bond. A wonderful Skyfall rewrite.

~~~

Beautiful Creatures by 1MissMolly

Words: 63151  Chapters: 30/30

“You smell good,” Q’s drunk words were slurred and raspy.

“I’ve been told.” James smiled at the young man.

“Stay here, I want to snuggle.”

“What?”

“Snuggle, be my teddy bear.”

“What!? I could blackmail you for that comment.” James joked but Q was already snoring lightly. His arms still wrapped tight around James neck. The older man gave in, convincing himself it was only because Q wanted him there. James own wishes and desires were not pushing him to lay beside Benjamin. The reason he was here, he told himself over and over again, was to protect the quartermaster. His scent and angelic face had nothing to do with it. At least that what he tried to tell himself.

Bond discovers that his quartermaster is an omega, which would be fine, except someone is murdering the omegas that work for MI6.

Very slow build of coworkers to friends to something more. Working together to fight against the monsters in the dark.

___

Warning: A/B/O fic. An extremely well done one at that. Despite the summary, Q can hold his own, which was awesome to read. A complex plot and amazing development, overall a great read.

~~~

Brevity and Opulence by loveindirtytrenchcoats

Words: 7777   Chapters: 1/1

There’s no time to grab anything to defend himself with, because the first hinge on the door snaps open with a bang, and the second follows on the next hit. The door rips backwards, thrown to the floor by the same man Q had been in the ski lift with, who smiles menacingly and draws a knife from his jacket. The Quartermaster wonders how long it will take for James to realise he’s missing.

Before the henchman even gets in his first hit, Q knows it’ll be too late.

____

Short and sweet, a fix-it fic for Spectre. The best fix-it fic I’ve read at that.

~~~

The Love Song of James Bond by Fightyourdragon

Words: 103853   Chapters: 17/17

“Knowing your history, and adding to it the fact that I am not entirely unaffected by sharing a bed with you, I think it would be pointless to pretend that we are going to able to share this house for the next two weeks without fucking over every available surface.” Q smiles at the look of shock on James’ face. Clearly he hadn’t been expecting such a direct approach and Q presses on before he has a chance to recover. “However, when it happens it will happen on my terms.”

There was definitely a significant gap between the time Bond was breaking down over M’s death in the chapel to the time a confident Bond walked into Mallory’s office to accept his newest assignment. What, or more importantly, who, put him back together again? Basically, lots of porn with plot.

____

Warning: BDSM. A majority of this fic is two idiots on an island, fucking and making friends with the old couple who own the local pub. It’s the most weirdly domestic thing I’ve ever read, and its beautiful.

~~~

Bal-Chatri by Kryptaria

Words: 46402   Chapters: 14/14

Rising through the ranks at MI6 is enough to erode anyone’s ability to trust. The agents of the Double O program all take paranoia one step further, elevating it to an art form. But everyone needs one person to trust – even James Bond. Now, Q just has to figure out how to convince him of that.

Bal-Chatri: A versatile trap used to humanely catch all types of birds, including birds of prey.

____

Warning: BDSM. Part of a three part series, and, honestly, it’s beautiful. Q is patient and kind, and together they work through Bond’s problems.

~~~

Synchronicity by stereobone

Words: 7600   Chapters: 1/1

It goes on like that for months, and then Q realizes that James Bond is “hanging out” at his flat.

____

Another short and sweet fic, and actually the softest thing I’ve ever read. James is just so gentle and Q treats him like he deserves. Good rainy day read.

~~~

Return the Conquering Hero by 1MissMolly

Words: 41596  Chapters: 14/14

Bond and Trevelyan are sent in to rescue a mysterious hacker out of a corrupt prison. They don’t know who sent them in or how to get the young man out. But the longer they stay in the prison, the more Bond becomes attracted to the young hacker.

____

Warning: major rape/non-con elements, but nothing truly horrid happens to our boys. Not the most satisfying ending but lovely nonetheless, one of those fics you wouldn’t mind a sequel to. Also, have I ever mentioned how much I love Alec Trevelyan being included? Because this pushes all those buttons.

~~~

Redamancy by opalescentgold

Words: 80627   Chapters: 7/8

If you write something on your skin, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

James doesn’t quite fall in love over physics discussions and cheeky book quotes and coding and riddles inked onto his skin, but he comes close.

And then he actually meets Q.

____

It’s not finished yet, I know. But, this fic is so good, I couldn’t put it down. I’m sure I read it in under two nights (that’s with a full time job and full time school). This fic highlights the true discrepancy in age between Bond and Q, and is a whole lot of angst at points, and it’s delightful.

~~~

Distraction by Pasteles

Words: 269   Chapters: 1/1

James Bond is an impatient bastard.

____

Putting this in here because my lovely @actual–007 wrote this for me, AND I OPENED IT WHILE I WAS AT CHURCH THANK YOU VERY MUCH. But, it’s lovely and so is she.

BIG POST ABOUT CULT ENDING 1/2

(Had to post stuff with quotes since screenshots were too small)

[MAJOR SPOILERS]

So lots of the posts i’m seeing are missing out on a lot of shit. I went through it myself and read through it. 

“Nothing’s a coincidence, idiot. No town in America has such a concentration of eligible, willing Dads.            (    …I just thought it was a coincidence.                {$PlayerFirstName}, ever wonder where all the wives and husbands in town went? Why everyone’s an eligible single father?” &  “How many couples have I pushed to divorce? How many wives and husbands have I hunted in the dark?”

Fucking Joseph…   Joseph is talking about how much of a ‘coincidence’ it is that everybody is a single dad expect for Joseph. WHICH HE ALSO HAUNTED/DIVORCED/KILLED.

THIS right here is after the part where you have a dream I guess?? And the pictures that were leaked about the creepy ones… (I think and I hope this was just a dream) 

“AmandaDemon   neutral &  Cracks begin to form along the walls around me. I look down and see the floor collapsing in tiles. As the walls, crumble… I see where I truly am.         Amanda turns ash black, her clothes, hair and bracelets collapsing into concentric rings of pitch-dark smoke.” 

When you wake up.. you are greeted by Joseph and you have a knife! But who gave you the knife? It was Robert.

Robert knows about the stuff Joseph has done! He knows what probably is gonna happen! (Might do a whole post about Robert later)

Next,

“Mary   noblink  &  Joseph     pain & You stole so much of my life from me.             #   Honey, sweetie, you… stabbed me.   It’s over, Joseph.        Joseph’s eyes go wide. He releases his grip on me and I gasp in, Joseph backs away from Mary, clutching the wound on his shoulder.   “

Mary then stabs Joseph with your knife! which is these sprites…

(And the Joseph stabbed one which i’m lazy to find.)

So Mary basically saves your ass and this his cannibalistic god sent children eat him.  “Won’t you feed us, Father?    Father… we’re so hungry. “ 


So then you wake up and supposedly the ship had sank and such, and then we meet the detective. Which is Saul! (his name is hinted in the game files than stated)

I’ll link my new post with all the other small connections we made once I make it.
Thanks to my friends @bunnard and @yellow-osteospermum for helping me out.

Also thanks to http://shingeki-no-kuushu.tumblr.com/post/163274581166/some-more-textures-i-found-in-the-game-files   for finding the pictures.

Other theories: http://gengarpopsicles.tumblr.com/post/163308679040/cult-ending-connections-and-such-22

Fuckboy! Lai Guanlin

Check out my Masterlist for other Wanna One fuckboy! au

A/N: This is super long cause I really wanted the plot to make as much sense as possible? Also, thank you guys so much for the constant stream of compliments and those who even messaged me!! T.T It’s legit the best thing to read after studying for my igs trials 

“All that you are is all that I’ll ever need.”

  • Guanlin is the student athlete type of fuckboy 
  • Takes advantages of his popularity as the star player in the basketball team to pick up girls 
  • Girls dig it when he approaches them after a game, sweaty yet hot as hell in his basketball uniform and asks for their number but they don’t realize that he also simultaneously ask 5 other girls before them
  • Text them for a day or two before making out with them and proceeds to just stop any contact with them
  • The locker room is also off limits at certain days after practices cause Guanlin uses it for his makeout session 
  • He’s the type to like a no strings attached relationship because he is super busy with practices and always has a competition every week and leaves him super tired for anything else
  • But he meets you one day during a basketball competition
  • You were the cheerleader captain of the rival team and Guanlin thought you were extremely hot and wanted your number lol
  • tbh you had no idea who he was when he asked you so you said no
  • He was offended for moment cause well, he wasn’t used to being rejected when girls in his school always welcome his presence with open arms 
  • But it was mainly because you just had 0 interest in a relationship and boys in general
  • You were more focused on trying to juggle your studies, sports and social life altogether
  • Also, boys in your school were super afraid of you despite your looks & personality because of how scary you are as the captain of your team
  • During practices, you did be yelling at your girls to be tighter so they wouldn’t fall off during stunts and by yell I mean full on shouting 
  • but they still love you cause you were a super good captain and always buy them food after practices 
  • ok so back to the plot
  • Guanlin basically made you promised him to give you your number to him if he wins the game
  • You had a lot of school pride in you so you were super sure that your school was going to win so you agreed to it, thinking it wasn’t a big deal
  • During the game, Guanlin kept glancing your way, even throwing a few smirks & winks to your direction
  • but what Guanlin got back was a look of disgust and he was like wtf why
  • You were seriously not impressed cause shouldn’t he be more focused on the game instead??? 
  • At the end of the game, unsurprisingly your school had won the match and you went to congratulate Seonho, the captain who was also one of your close friend
  • “Dude what did you do to attract Lai Guanlin’s attention? He literally just came to me and asked for your number.”
  • “Did you give it to him, Seonho?”
  • “UHHHHHHH sorry gotta go - “
  • That was how you ended up with an unopened text from an unknown number after you went back home saying he was Guanlin and asked if you were interested in watching the game he was playing next week 
  • you scoffed at his straightforwardness but decided text back saying that you wouldn’t go unless someone you were dating was playing
  • which he replied asking if that was a challenge 
  • You said yes * proceeded to tell him that however, it was impossible to get you cause he did have to stop his current ways and you know actually pay attention to the actual dating part 
  •  giving assurance to yourself that a fuckboy like him would have no interest in doing a thing like that & proceeds to leave you alone
  • That was the start of how Lai Guanlin, went full out to pursue you
  • He was determined to show he could win anyone, including you
  • every single day, he did walk over to your school to walk you home
  • At times, he did bring you a snack or even coffee 
  • your heart soften at the amount of effort Guanlin put to everything 
  • Gifts from were always something related to the sports you did
  • small things like sports tape and an energy drink with a post it note that had your name was always on the bleachers 
  • he did also send motivating quotes to help you get through the day
  • many people actually thought you two were dating considering that you were a lot happier and well, the locker room suddenly became vacant
  • it wasn’t long before Guanlin actually realized his feelings for you
  • he liked the way you laughed, a lot, it was something he was so tempted to set as his ringtone
  • how bright you got when you explained to him how you managed to hit this really difficult stunt 
  • You never flirted back with him, you were just honestly being friendly and he liked that
  • Conversations with you only made him focus and think and you and only you
  • It was never like that for other ppl and you were the only thing in his mind
  • You never treated him like he was the ace of the basketball team, more like just, Guanlin as himself
  • He could behave freely when he was with you, being a bit more childish than usual & you never judged him for it
  • He decided to text you to meet him at park nearby so he could honestly sort out all the swirls of emotions in him 
  • “I don’t really know to break this to you but I actually really like you and I’m not doing this for the sake of bragging. I just want you to know that so you could consider my feelings to you again.”
  • *cues awkward silence*
  • You couldn’t believe our ears like was this actually happening???
  • You decided to screw everything you knew about love and just went to kiss him on the cheek
  • “I don’t even know I like you too, idiot.”
  • people like to call you two the modern day Romeo & Juliet cause you guys were indirectly ‘rivals’ when you guys started dating
  • but everyone in you & his schools basically shipped you two? During games, your team would even tell you it was okay to cheer for Guanlin 
  • gives you lots of back hugs and posts a lot of photos of you on his Instagram
  • a super cute sports couple who just supports each other in every way possible
  • he tries to teach you basketball but ends up with you two giggling and sharing kisses
  • also being each other prom dates is a thing so you guys have two different proms to attend lmao 
EXO 101: A Crash Course

Park Chanyeol 

Originally posted by megglesbagels

Soft baby by day, sexy mofo by night. Can do everything?? Sing, rap, dance, cook, act, write and produce music, play the guitar (classical, spanish, lead, and rhythm omg) and the piano and the drums, has the body of an elf king. He’s also AMAZING with children as shown [here - skip to 12:17 and WATCH you won’t regret it] and dogs too! All animals really. He’s Korean Snow White. With abs. And if Snow White was extra. 

Also the kindest soul ever. He’s always smiling, even when he’s down. He literally said, and I quote; “No matter how difficult something is, I will always be positive and smile like an idiot.” His then-girlfriend nicknamed him “Happy Virus.” Constantly buys his members gifts, is very tall (well over six feet), and he’s the most extroverted and sociable person - actually friends with everyone. 10/10 amazing human.  


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by junhyyo

Don’t let him fool you!!! He looks soft but he will fuck you up with his cheeky lil smile and pelvic sorcery and unearthly vocals and uGH. His wit is unparalleled like omg, so sassy and hilarious and sharp. Also a huge nerd when it comes to anime, manga, and video games. Once gave a picture of himself to another member as a gift, the lil shit.  

He’s incredibly passionate about his career and his members, and I think it was Kyungsoo who said that it’s Baek who keeps them all together at times. In summary: Byun Baekhyun is what happens when a demon and an angel do the do. 


D.O./Do Kyungsoo:

Originally posted by sehuntiful

Do Kyungsoo? More like Do Me, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry I’m so thirsty Ksoo…I don’t even know where to begin with this one. First of all, he single-handedly saved the human race from extinction with his voice. He’s savage af, so much so that he’s affectionately nicknamed “Satansoo” and he will smack a bitch. He’s also so soft and squishy at the same time, you’ll get whiplash. And his acTING. Lord in heaven. And I believe he didn’t even have acting lessons?? The nerve of him. He, too, is sex on legs, and he might be quieter than the others, but y’all best listen when he talks cause boy bout to spill the tea. 

He’s also very paternal in that he takes care of the other members a lot, like when Kai, his roommate, isn’t feeling well, he’ll care for him or go out to get food for him. And he can cook really well. I’m gonna stop now before I end up writing an entire dissertation ;’)


Lay/Zhang Yixing

Originally posted by glorious-soobooty

ALSO NOT PURE ABORT ABORT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Oh my god. Anyway. Zhang Yixing is the perfect contradiction. On the one hand, he’s an actual baby lamb - laugh and all. On the other hand, he’s the human embodiment of the NC-17 rating. Like, hide yo kids. Yixing is also one of the Chinese members of EXO, so he often leaves to promote his solo music which is in Chinese, and he works so incredibly hard and deserves all the success. He also writes the lyrics, and composes and arranges the music! 

And…his dancing. Proof that god exists. There is literally no part of his body that Yixing does not have absolute command over - and you can see it because he is so precise, confident, and sexy. :’) 


Suho/Kim Junmyeon

Originally posted by oohsehunnies

I actually had to cover his face while writing this because holy–

Yup. Moving on. 

Actually, back to his face (and the rest of him): Remember when Da Vinci was conceptualizing the Vitruvian Man (lol only 90′s kids will remember…1490′s kids, that is). You know that picture of the guy with another pair of arms and legs superimposed on him, inside a circle? The drawing theorizing the ideal proportions of the human body? Yup, true story: Junmyeon was Da Vinci’s muse. Suho’s face is so symmetrical, it inspired mathematicians to write the golden ratio. He is a genetic miracle, a statistical outlier, a national treasure–

Anyway *sweats*. ALSO. Let’s talk about his personality. Myeon is the mom of EXO, the leader, so he’s naturally very parental. He actually chose the stage name “Suho” because it means guardian. He always does his best to keep his kids the members together and doing what they need to be doing. Always pays for things ($Junmoney$), and is the person a lot of them confide in and go to for comfort or advice, especially Sehun. 

He’s such a dad too - like his dad joke ratings are off the charts. 10/10 would build you a tree house and tuck you in at night. 


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by sehurn

Maknae. Icon. Legend. Used to have a lisp. 

People sometimes think he’s cold or reserved because of his face, but as you can see in the gif, he’s literal sunshine. He once cried on stage because he was knocked on the head by a camera - but he wasn’t crying because the injury hurt, he was crying because he wasn’t allowed to perform because of it, and he felt like he was disappointing his fans. He also cried during a radio show when asked about his other members - he said every night before he falls asleep, he prays for them and he prays that they all stay together and are successful and happy. And now I’m crying. 

Everyone is in love with him

His dancing resurrected me from the dead, put my children through college, and ended world hunger because damn we are fed when that boy moves. 

Sehun was once invited to Paris for a Louis Vuitton fashion show and became king of France. I’m not kidding. All he did was show up, and there was a huge crowd already there to greet him as if he were royalty, and he was voted best dressed at the show by Vogue. He went to the Louvre, and people were studying and appreciating him, the actual art.  


Chen/Kim Jongdae

Originally posted by dayafterdae

Ah, little dino bby. He’s iconic for many reasons: 

1) His smile. It curls up at the corners like this :}

2) When he laughs, he literally goes HAHAHAHAHA like wow, amazing, I want this as my ringtone

3) He screams a lot. Nickelodeon once made a show about him called Jongdae: The Last Pterodactyl

4) HIS VOCALS. Un-freaking-believable. He’s the male version of Mariah Carey. 

5) Speaks really good Chinese! (He’s Korean) 

6) An amazing human?? He donates to charity so often and he doesn’t do it for publicity either. He takes good care of the other members too. 

Jongdae, let me put a ring on it. 


Xiumin/Kim Minseok

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

HERE WE GO. My precious boy :’)

Minseok. The eldest. Also known as the best person to ever exist. Like Kyungsoo, he doesn’t talk much because he’s a shy lil bean, but once he warms up to you, the things that come out of his mouth are so deep and cute and funny and wowow I want ten of him

Is the least likely to cry

Was chubby (and so adorable!!) as a little kid, and now he has a six pack. Because of his weight as a kid though, he has spoken many times about the issue of body shaming and how people’s perceptions of a person shift based on how they look. He once said these words that made my cold, dead heart beat again: “I don’t have an ideal type. If our hearts match well, then she will look pretty to me.” 

Has the strongest arms in EXO. They all arm wrestled and he won and it was the funniest thing ever. 

Is not only an idol, he’s also getting his Ph.D. Dr. Kim. I can’t believe….

Wants to open his own coffee shop, and I don’t drink coffee, but I would chug any dish-water-coffee-grinds-filth that he would serve me because damn I love him. 


Kai/Kim Jongin

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

R00D MOTHERF*CKER. 

The Bias Wrecker. Or just your bias, plain and simple 

Kim Jongin is one of nature’s greatest accomplishments. His gams are the eighth wonder of the world - and he puts them to use when he dances, like please kick me in the face with those omfg 

His laugh. Astounding. Also don’t stand too close when he laughs because he will hit you. It’s just what he does lmao

He’s basically a hip young old man - so hot but so sleepy. He’ll sleep at any given opportunity. 

Very fond of fried chicken. And dogs. But not in terms of eating, for the latter

Learned ballet for ten years and it shows, and I just wANT TO SEE HIM IN A LEOTARD DAMMIT

He has darker skin than the other members which people used to make fun of him for and still do comment on, but he says he loves it and he is proud of his body :’) we are too bby!!


Other random facts

EXO originally had 12 members but 3 left and we’re not going to talk about it okay? okay

- Chen and Xiumin are married best friends. Xiumin actually said in an interview that Chen is “like my wife” 

- Sehun is now officially Lord Oh Sehun of Glencoe, Scotland because his fans are the most Extra and purchased the estate for his birthday :’) 

- Chanyeol once folded one hundred paper cranes for his girlfriend as a gift, but in the middle of doing this, she called him and broke up with him

- Baekhyun can’t cook for shit but at least he’s pretty 

- Kai dated F(X)’s Krystal 

- Kyungsoo once said to the camera that he is “not pure” 

- Yixing starred in a gay sci-fi movie where he and this other dude have a baby

- Suho is a health nut. Just like how girls always have pads and tampons on them, Suho has multivitamins 


For @the-porcelain-doll-xo because I’m the friend that wants to drag you into hell with me, and I can’t wait for you to get into EXO ahhhhh ily <33

BS Bending in TLOK

Watching The Legend of Korra is so disappointing in a lot of different ways. So if you ignore the plot, you’d expect at least some good action scenes with the effort and consistency from the old show. Ehhhh. The bending in LOK is strikingly idiotic and a degradation of the gem from the old show. Maybe if I weren’t comparing it to The Last Airbender, I wouldn’t mind it. But the fact it is so blatantly off from its predecessor makes for another highlight of Korra that I can’t un-see. From how elements are manipulated to even more complex shit with specific kinds of ~special people bending~, Korra, if I can put this politely, fucks everything up.

Right from the start you can tell that Korra definitely dumbed down the movements of the characters. It’s odd because the martial arts expert from Avatar worked on Korra as well. However, he only worked on 22 episodes of Korra, compare that with his 61 episodes guided in The Last Airbender. It’s probably a mix of Kisu’s lack of involvement, and an overall decision from the writers that maybe it wasn’t as important? Which is sad, because it really disassociates the audience from the complex spirituality and intricacies of the world. Styles benders seem to have spent years mastering are lost, and replaced with a modern, boxing type “PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH!!!” Hollywood action situation. Here’s some pretty (MS PAINT) pictures to do the talking for me.

And a bonus:

If the simplification of normal bending hasn’t gotten to you, there’s still a lot more I have to sift through. There’s so much shit pointing to how bending’s complexity was reduced for coooool moments. I’m even going to make nice little subheaders.

Lavabending 

So, in ATLA we see lavabending is a feat only the Avatars are capable of. Roku does it, Kyoshi does it. Avatar cool kids only. But then in Book Three, Bolin suddenly has the ability to lavabend at the tip of the hat. Which, by the way, is another thing stupidly prevalent throughout this series. Both Korra and Bolin in times of crisis suddenly have the ability to do things they couldn’t do, but really wished they could’ve. Hooow convenient.

So the discrepancy here is how Bolin can lavabend, and so can this random Earthbender guy, wouldn’t that mean all Earthbenders can? Metalbending makes sense, but lava is so hot it’s going to set stuff on fire. Technically, it counts as two elements, and has been confirmed as such by making it an Avatar-only thing in ATLA. But now these two random guys can just do this. Apparently it may even be easier than metalbending, which is also ridiculous. If lavabending is just bending the Earth to “go fast”, that’s a lot easier than metalbending because there’s more mass to bend. Just make it go zoom zoom and blamo everyone’s a lavabender.

Some people like to claim that because Bolin had an Earthbending dad and a Firebender mom, then that means he can control both elements to control lava. Which is dumb because then that would make him a fanfic-esque Dual Bender. And we really don’t need any of those. It’s never explained or justified, and is so different from the original show, it feels…sacrilegious. How dare you dishonor the lore. /s

BALD AIRBENDING MAN

What’s his name?

I don’t really care, because he’s dumb too. I feel like I don’t have to elaborate, though. It should be pretty obvious. ~Harmonic Converge~ (weird af plot device) gave him airbending, and because he studied it before and read a book by an Airbender Lady, he’s a master at it now. His powers are so innate, he worked so little to get to where he is. Hell, he didn’t work at all.

Unless you want me to believe that all his days in prison, he anticipated becoming an airbender and practiced all the moves beforehand. Granted, there are no official moves anymore. I’m sure he’s experienced in reckless punching. That’s all you need to bend, right?

If he can read a book and be great at airbending, why can’t Korra. Why didn’t Aang read THREE books to go defeat Ozai. Aang just should’ve read Earthbending for Dummies. Then he could bend the entire world off its axis. And This Bald Guy can jump off a cliff after quoting some “deep airbending lore” and he can FLY. Not even propelled by anything or even (AGAIN I REITERATE) moving his arms to BEND the currents around him. He’s not flying. He’s floating. And floating characters have always seemed like pretty bad animation, seriously. He looks like a late-stage yuri on ice character. Super out of place, and moving oddly across an undefined plane.

MAKO IN GENERAL

Mako does a couple things I’m not a big fan of. Ok, a lot of things. But in terms of bending, I have a few choice picks.

In Legend of Korra, lightning and its redirection has a lot less of an impact. Being electrocuted no longer hurts anyone unless the writers want us to feel bad for a character being hurt (usually Korra). But half of the time, it’s just there to look really COOL and not really do anything. This is proven by two things. Mako shoots lightning right on Amon at point blank, and Amon isn’t affected. The same is true for Mako. He HOLDS ON to the lightning and ISN’T AFFECTED AT ALL. Let me make another ATLA/LOK comparison.

Zuko: Tries to redirect lightning, gaurding his torso so hopefully it doesn’t hit him. In the end it does and he’s pretty much out of the fight.

Mako: Doesn’t even really care if he’s hit by the lightning at all. He holds on to it for a good few seconds, because it’s not like electrocution hurts or anything. Only after getting a REFRESHING SHOCK for a good bit does he decide to toss it back at the Robo Man.

Maybe this would make sense because Mako is supposed to be a cool, all-powerful Firebender. But then even that theory breaks down, because he can withstand the strongest forms of raw fuckin’ Bending Power from all elements, apparently.

He does another of these dumb moves when he’s being bloodbended by Amon. We see Amon being bloodbended, but he escapes the grip, and the audience assumes it’s because he’s a bloodbender. But then suddenly MAKO CAN DO IT TOO. What a great guy.

Also Amon’s fine from this shock as well. And this kind of encompasses everything I’ve touched on. There’s Amon bending without moving, Mako having unrealistic powers never touched on before, and powers that are nerfed to all hell just to add ~drama~ in replace of actual sense.

TL;DR: LOK’s bending is saturated action filler written in for wish fulfillment, sacrifices old techniques and inner consistency for cool looking moves and scenarios, and shows a disappointing lack of passion or misunderstanding of the source material

The Son(g) of Ice and Fire

I saw someone commenting on a George RR Martin interview where he talks about why he named the series Ice and Fire. This person seemed to assume that George’s answer meant that Jon and Daenerys represent Ice and Fire together, respectively, which is something I have always very vocally disagreed with, and will continue to do until Martin himself tells me I’m wrong (that means Dan and David and their fanfic freakshow and magazine covers are irrelevant to me). 

Originally posted by to-eternal-darkness

I read/listened to this interview a long, long time ago, and it never gave me the impression that my idea of what the Song of Ice and Fire means, is wrong… 
Here’s why:

(WARNING: IF YOU THINK DAENERYS IS A SAVIOR QUEEN, THIS META WILL EITHER CHANGE YOUR MIND OR PISS YOU AND YOUR DELUSIONS OFF!)

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Iwaoi fluff Headcanons.

I am an absolute hoe for Iwa [and Oikawa I guess] Ask anyone of my mutuals or my friends, they know. Be it his personality, character, quirks; no matter what people may thik of him, I love this boy with my life. Also, Iwaoi is my absolute favourite ship, and since I need something to do while I suffer from writer’s block for chapter 2 of Drowning in my Demons, have this post dedicated to my precious cinnamon buns. So, if you love Iwa [And his Tofu-nugget] as much as I do, sit back and enjoy these little headcanons I came up with.


  • Iwa is definitely the cuddly-type. He loves snuggling in bed, hugging his Godzilla plushie when he’s alone while having some popcorn watching movies. Occasionally, he falls asleep mid-way through the movie, but that’s a rare feat, when this happens, his mom tends to laugh it off and help tuck him snuggly into his bed. However, when Oikawa comes over and they share a bed, he is the small spoon while Tooru is the big spoon. He always ends up nuzzling into the bigger’s chest, and Tooru lovingly stroking his hair. He secretly takes photographs of the raven and sets it as his wallpaper.
  • When reversed and Iwa sleeps over at Oikawa’s house, he never brings his own clothes. I get that people usually see Oikawa to be the type to steal Iwa’s clothes, but for me, I imagine Iwa to mock Tooru’s dreadful fashion sense but steal his hoodies anyway. Tooru has no complaints and lets his boyfriend do what he wants; he secretly loves it because Haji just looks good in over-sized clothes.  
  • Also, bonus, Iwa smacking Tooru with the long-ass sleeves rather than headbutting him. Tooru retaliates by tickling Hajime till he gives in. They collapse onto the bed and Tooru apologises with forehead kisses.
  • When Iwa wakes up, he can barely open his eyes, he expects Tooru to be in bed with him, so when he isn’t, he will very softly call for him. Tooru finds it adorable and showers him with kisses. But when they do wake up in bed together, he will cuddle as close as he can to Oikawa who would probably be using his phone.
  • Tooru trying the face-swap filter on snapchat with Iwa, and casually saying, “These would be what our children would like.” Iwa is a fucking mess and Oikawa is laughing so hard. Also, Oikawa has at least 341 pictures of Iwa with the puppy filter, the fact that he’s eyes are closed most of the time makes it a hundred times funnier. He sends them to Mattsun and Makki, and even those two find Iwa adorable. 
  • Hajime trying to get out of bed but Tooru won’t let him. He’s using kisses and cuddles as a distraction.
  • My headcanon is that Tooru gets sick easily because of how much milkbread he eats. He most commonly gets a flu or a bad cold but they quickly go away after a few days. As for Hajime, he hardly falls ill, but when he does, it’s the most heartbreaking thing. Once he was running an abnormally high fever and had to stay overnight at the hospital? Oikawa spent an entire day trying to perfect a soup and his favourite Agedashi Tofu before bringing it to the raven. Iwa is extremely thankful and promises him kisses when he gets better.
  • Iwa has a dwarf bunny that he loves with all he has, instead of calling it Godzilla, he calls it Tofu because of how white and fragile she is. She was actually a present from his mom as a replacement for not getting him a puppy; he doesn’t mind and is just happy he has something to take care of. He spends hours grooming her fur in his bed and sometimes, she accompanies him as he watches a movie. Iwa has trained her to sit and lie down and even hop. She is also incredibly intelligent given the fact that she will squeak for attention. She is a good bunny and loves Tooru as well, Iwaizumi’s mom jokingly said it’s like Tofu is their shared child.
  • Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s mother sharing cute things their sons did for the other. How Hajime was learning to make milkbread to give it to Tooru on his birthday, and how Oikawa had suggested building a blanket fort before watching Godzilla together. They are close friends and the biggest shippers.
  • When they have the house to themselves, Iwa is the one preparing breakfast, Tooru tries distracting him with a lot of kissing and hugs from behind and now the pancakes are burning. They have a heated make-out session on the countertop before they actually realise the smell of smoke.
  • They take baths in the bathtub together. They end up having a splash war and wetting the entire bathroom. Sometimes Iwa sits in Oikawa’s lap while the brunette washes his hair and hugs him. He also takes this rare chance to leave a few hickies. 
  • Blanket forts being their childhood tradition. Oikawa decorating the blanket fort with fairy lights and throwing in as many pillows as he could possibly find. When Iwa comes over, he has his laptop all prepared with their favourite snacks. Oikawa likes watching Iwa quote lines from the movie, Hajime has no idea he’s paying more attention to him than the actual movie. And it’s best if it stays that way.
  • Hardcore Mario kart wars, there is no fluff, only profanities, cusses and death.
  • Oikawa will tease Hajime with his cereal by holding the box as high as he can, he has lanky limbs so Iwa can’t reach them. As payback, he sneaks out while Oikawa is sleeping before getting a cup of cold water and pouring it on his face, not forgetting to say, “WHO’S THE SHORT ONE NOW ASSHOLE??”
  • Hajime has freckles all over his body; and sometimes he’s really insecure about them. Tooru assures him it’s fine and makes sure to kiss all of them.
  • Look me in the goddamn eye and tell me these two don’t sit together on the bus to training camps and shit. Because I swear, they will sit together and even share ear pieces, sometimes they doze off and fall asleep, Iwa usually resting on Oikawa’s broader shoulders.
  • Iwa likes collecting succulents and small plants. He displays them on his desk or by his window-sill. He gives them names and Tooru thinks it’s both funny and cute.
  • Have some cute flustered Iwa when Tooru calls him babe in front of the team. And also, the entire team letting out whoops and cheers and Iwa just wants to hide in a hole. Sometimes they stare at each other like love-struck idiots and the Matsuhana duo use this amazing opportunity to tease them. Tooru coming up from behind to give Hajime a surprise kiss.
  • Tooru finding every excuse to hold Hajime’s hand, and Iwa giving in.
  • They once went to build-a-bear together and made a stuffed crocodile that Iwa for some odd reasons says is a Zoey. Iwa has it next to his Godzilla plushie.
  • Having so many cheesy dates. A picnic date, stargazing, to the aquarium, the zoo, a waterpark. These two have the cutest most romantic dates and everyone is jealous. Bonus if they get each other presents.
  • Iwa tackling the fuck out of Oikawa after not having seen him for months. Tooru laughs and tries his best to force out a “Did you miss me?” as Iwa lays on his chest. IWaizumi saying in a dead-serious tone, “Of course I did.”
  • During winter, they like cuddling by the fireplace, Iwa is mumbling on about how flippin cold it is, and Tooru just watching him go on endearingly. They have a huge blanket out and everything along with some hot cocoa. Half-way during their cuddling session, Tooru starts kissing Hajime’s neck. He heats up and ask what the hell is he doing and Tooru just smirking saying he’s helping him warm up. Hajime is upset cause it worked.
  • Hajime has cute soft sneezes.
  • Before they fall asleep, Tooru likes singing for Iwa. Some of his favourites are You are my Sunshine, Can’t help falling in love and Perfect. He may not have the best voice but Iwa loves it either way.
  • When Iwa starts falling asleep, Tooru quietly whispers a sweet “I love you” before dozing off too.

I’m dedicating this to some of the few friends I’ve made here, [I’m so sorry if you don’t consider me to be one] and just overall really sweet people.

@aunnoo , @rosaliaisabawse , @exella@trashytacosan

ailuromatron  asked:

"I don't know if I should kiss you or slap you." "...Wait, what?" NurseyDex <3

It’s not like Will actively goes looking for fights.

Honestly.

No matter what Bitty mumbles under his breath, and no matter how disappointed Chowder always looks in the aftermath, it’s not like it’s something Will hopes for.

Honestly, it’s not anything he wants.

Because sometimes it feels like he’s fighting all the time – like he’s had to fight for everything he’s got, and like he’ll always be fighting.

Sometimes it feels like that’s all he’ll ever be good for.

From the way that Nursey’s lips curl in a sneer (a pointed reminder that Will is forever screwing up), it’s pretty fuckin’ clear that Will’s not the only one thinking it. Not for the first time, Will finds himself wishing that he could just disappear – that the ground would swallow him up or that lightening would strike – literally anything that would save him from listening to Nursey tear him apart.

Because it’s not like Will actively goes looking for fights, but he’s not going to just stand aside and let people talk shit about his teammates, and he’s sure as fuck not about to let anyone get away with spewing that kind of homophobic bullshit… not here. Not in Samwell.

And if Nursey doesn’t get that-

Well. 

It’s just another fuckin’ battle that Will doesn’t want to fight.

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Unexpected (Part 5)

All of Yoongi’s efforts to swallow his emotions and deal with everything alone start to fall apart.

Warning: angst, smut, domination, submission, dirty talk, oral, fellatio, intercourse and lots of Yoongi being a general ass-hat.  Also, twice as long as the previous sections.
Parts: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8 (final)  8.5 (bonus) 


“Get up already!” Jin shook Yoongi, trying to wake him. “You’ve already slept through breakfast and we need to get going to the studio.  It’s dance practice time.  You’re holding everyone up!”

Yoongi groaned as he labored to get himself out of bed.  He held his head in an attempt to keep his brain from busting through his skull.  He couldn’t remember a time when he was more hungover than right now.  The thought of spending a full day in the studio learning new choreography filled Yoongi with dread.  He was sure this day would not end well.

Jin looked at Yoongi disapprovingly.  “I don’t know what you were thinking getting so drunk last night.  Just hurry up!  Also, take a shower, you smell like shit.”

Yoongi took a quick shower, got dressed and staggered into the van with the rest of the guys to go to the studio.  Yoongi closed his eyes and leaned against the door, he could feel water dripping down his face from his still wet hair but didn’t have the energy to wipe it away.  Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung were sitting in the back seat of the van talking about some movie they watched on tv last night and were quoting lines and laughing about funny scenes.  Hearing them enjoy themselves annoyed Yoongi to no end; he quietly wished that the van door would open up so he could fall into the street to be run over by a passing car.  He was pretty sure death would be more pleasurable than dance practice with these idiots.

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anonymous asked:

I'm so glad Kirishima is getting so much spotlight, he really deserves it!!!! And it looks like hes gonna get more, since hes in the main group along with Deku, Uraraka and Tsuyu. I;m so hyped!!!

Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! That’s one interesting group tbh, Kirishima and Tsuyu’s interactions are always incredibly adorable to watch and seeing Kirishima interact for so long with pure and good people is gonna be hard on my heart (I mean, you know I’m 100% a bakusquad fan but they’re all at least in part assholes and Kiri fits with them just right, he can be just like Sero and Kaminari and I love it, but then his interactions with Amajiki have been so pure can you imagine an arc filled with that I’m already crying)

I just hope my other faves won’t completely disappear through this arc haha sigh

Anon said: So which Kacchan quote do you like best “Die your bacteria fucks, dieee!” or “BRING YOUR DAMN TRASH TO ME”?

LMAO SORRY ANON BUT MY FAVE GOTTA BE

WHAT A GODDAMN DISASTER THIS BOY IS

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rick and morty: the rickshank redemption
         sentence starters

spoilers ahead if you have yet to watch this episode! i also kept in a bunch of quotes about the damn szechuan sauce just to make myself laugh.

‘  anyway, that’s how i escaped from space prison.  ’
‘  i just got my sixth promotion this week and i still don’t know what i do!  ’
‘  it’s great to have you back no matter where we are, but wouldn’t you like to go home?  ’
‘  get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself twelve times.  ’
‘  you cheap insect fucks didn’t think i was worth your best equipment?  ’
‘  relaxed, enough?  ’
‘  he is the smartest man in the universe.  ’
‘  well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.  ’
‘  you’ve hardly touched your pills.  ’
‘  stop saying his name. he abandoned us!  ’
‘  horses live longer than tortoises now. is that what you want?  ’
‘  maybe i just want you to care if i run away yelling!  ’
‘  admit it, you’re going crazy cooped up in here.  ’
‘  yeah well, tough titties.  ’
‘  that depends on who breaks first: me or the titty.  ’
‘  if we stay here we’ll die along with all your memories.  ’
‘  oh, that sounds cool. i can get what i want and you can say goodbye.  ’
‘  fine, but i’m driving.  ’
‘  hey, i like being 35. i can rent a car now.  ’
‘  they weaponized the eiffel tower!  ’
‘  no one’s special to him. not even himself.  ’
‘  i’m not right! i was using ghoulish overkill.  ’
‘  we’re going to the day it all began… and ended. the moment that changed everything.  ’
‘  i’d like to get a 10 piece mcnugget and a bunch of the szechuan sauce. like as much as you’re allowed to give me.  ’
‘  in 1998 they had this promotion for the disney film mulan where they created a new sauce for the nuggets called szechuan sauce and it’s DELICIOUS.  ’
‘  wow, this sauce is fucking amazing! you said it was promoting a movie?  ’
‘  i used to wear blue pants.  ’
‘  well, well, well if it isn’t us.  ’
‘  nobody has to know about that. we can put it right back and pretend we never saw it.  ’
‘  i’ll make it up as i go.  ’
‘  oh my god… i have that exact same top!  ’
‘  that’s my sister. this used to be my home.  ’
‘  imagine doing anything you want and hopping to a timeline where you never did it.  ’
‘  excuse me? we don’t pass on this. who do you think you are?  ’
‘  i heard sci-fi noises. did you make a breakthrough?  ’
‘  i only wanted to stop by here for a quick ‘i told you so.’  ’
‘  why would you do that? what is the matter with you people?  ’
‘  i’ve got it… i’ve fucking got it!!!  ’
‘  awesome possum!  ’
‘  yeah, that’s the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost.  ’
‘  you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story.  ’
‘  lovely. not only is my plan screwed up, i also forgot how to improvise!  ’
‘  he’s a spy, blow him up.  ’
‘  i’m gonna go take a shit.  ’
‘  he’s not a lawyer. we just keep him here because he’s fun.  ’
‘  i say: fuck you.  ’
‘  you killed him because you were jealous of him. that’s pretty obvious.  ’
‘  what? no! i don’t want to see your pog collection.  ’
‘  let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard.  ’
‘  he’s not a villain, but he shouldn’t be your hero. he’s more like a demon or… a super fucked up god.  ’
‘  i know you’re too stupid to get this, but you’re really fucking this up right now.  ’
‘  i wasn’t going to let her die, you fucking moron!  ’
‘  you’re a serious fucking idiot. you basically killed us all!  ’
‘  who’s stupid now, bitch?  ’
‘  i’m almost proud.  ’
‘  look, i’m not proud to share this, but the truth is i just kept crawling and it kept working.  ’
‘  guess who dismantled the government?  ’
‘  please don’t leave me again.  ’
‘  is there any light beer left? it’s insane what you miss in prison.  ’
‘  no, you’re right. where’s the vodka?  ’
‘  i’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. i hope i had nothing to do with that.  ’
‘  i better tend to him before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out.  ’
‘  but never him. you wanna know why? because he crossed me. ’
‘  take it easy – that’s dark!  ’
‘  welcome to the darkest year of our adventures!  ’
‘  if you tell them i said any of this, i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because i’m a hero and now you’re gonna have to go do whatever i say – forever!  ’
‘  and i’ll go out and i’ll find more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce because that’s what this is all about – that’s my one-armed man.  ’
‘  i’m not driven by avenging my dead family, that was fake.  ’
‘  i’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce. i want that mulan mcnugget sauce! ’
‘  that’s my series arc. if it takes nine seasons!  ’
‘  i want my mcnugget dipping sauce. szechuan sauce!  ’
‘  that’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end!  ’
‘  what are you talking about?  ’
‘  nine more seasons. nine more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce or 97 more years!  ’
‘  fine. fuck it. who cares?  ’

Im sorry, but “ALL EYEZ ON ME” was terrible.

All of the significant details that framed Tupac’s life are so glossed over. The movie delivers in a very, “this happened, then this happened, and oh…lets not forget about this-real-quick” type of fashion. Two and a half hours is PLENTY of time to effectively illustrate the high’s, low’s and in-between’s that made Tupac the lyrical and prophetic force he became. The film never even makes mention of his mainstream role in “Poetic Justice”. Leila Steinberg, the woman who was basically Tupac’s mentor and central introduction to performance art appears for literally ONE scene. Tupac lived with Leila and her husband for YEARS. Her role in his life was pivotal to his segue into being on stage in front of mainstream audiences. How was her presence reduced to a forty-five second appearance? There’s also no mention whatsoever of the woman Keisha who Tupac married while he was in jail.

The entire production is just so singular. We never get into the mind of Tupac Shakur or delve between the layers of his fears, his internal struggles or the seeds of his unique artistry. “All Eyez On Me” is nothing more than an expensive snapshot of the headlines that most of us 30 and over are already aware of. The ONLY “detail” or tidbit of information that the movie introduced me to is the fact that Tupac was involved in a long term relationship with Quincy Jones’ daughter, Kidada. I had no idea that she was the main woman in his life up until his death.

The film is just so horribly directed by Benny Boom. It’s very difficult to believe that he graduated from Temple Universities film program. There’s absolutely no visual illustration. The narrative isn’t painted on screen. The entire script and overall production spoon feeds the audience – as if we are pure idiots. We jump back and forth CONSTANTLY between scenes of Hill Harper interviewing Tupac in jail circa 1995 and then the actual events unfolding before us as Hill & Tupac verbally discuss them. It’s juvenile filmmaking and a trite cinematic tactic.
And the ONLY real standout acting performance stems from Danai Gurira who stars as Afeni Shakur. Her facial and verbal delivery is superb in comparison to the other pedestrian players. I’m not taking anything away from Demetrius Shipp who stars as Tupac, but he seemed to merely be going through the motions during half of his screen time. If it were not for him physically resembling Tupac to the core, I would not have been convinced of the passion, the power and intensity that evoked the spirit of Tupac. “All Eyez On Me” just is not a good film overall and I would much rather see a seasoned director take on such masterful work in another box office or 6-8 part, television series release.

People are jumping on John Singleton for wanting to include a jail rape scene in his version of the Tupac story, as well as Tupac talking to a severed head, but the common, everyday individual has no idea what real life information Singleton was privy to. Tupac may have really been raped in jail, but of course, his image and hyper masculine presence forced him and the public alike to deny such claims. John Singleton’s  inclusion of the severed head and having Tupac talking to this image of himself illustrated Tupac’s love of Shakespeare and the battle of man vs. himself. I would have preferred that type of visual storytelling, as opposed to this pitiful L.T. Hutton/Benny Boom version that has Tupac randomly quoting bits and pieces of ‘Hamlet’ throughout the film. UGH!
and lets not even talk about the monstrosity that is the ending. Would it have killed the creative team to show Afeni battling with the heavy decision to pull the plug on Tupac’s life support?…or even to show Tupac laying on his death bed and shaking the mattresses with both hands clamped down at his sides because he had something he wanted to GET OUT, but could not speak? THESE are the stories that have been told by close friends who visited him between September 6, 1996 and September 13, 1996. The film should NOT have ended with Tupac’s body laid out on the Vegas strip and a slew of title cards plastered across the screen highlighting his “Hollywood” achievements. The gospel music that played beneath the ending scene was very misplaced and drowned out the heavy emotion.

I don’t care what the millennials are saying about “All Eyez On Me”. It was terribly spliced together, and in such a way that reflected a very amateur team behind-the-scenes. I saw the film yesterday afternoon at the Columbia AMC here in Maryland and I left the theater feeling extremely disappointed. “All Eyez On Me” pales in comparison to every black film released between last summer 2016 and present day. 

DO NOT WASTE YOUR COINS! Wait for this pedestrian mess to be released ON DEMAND and in DVD/Blu-Ray format.

“Watch Me”

Teaser: “Malfoy, give up. I’m not looking for a relationship. Especially not one with the likes of you.” 

“Please, love,” he drawled. “If anyone could break your no relationship mantra, it would be me.”

“I’d love to see you make that happen.”

“Just watch me.”

⇢ Basically, Malfoy is in for one hell of a ride.
Requested by @powerpuff-bucky.

“What do you say, Y/L/N? Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to Hogsmeade this Saturday?”

You whirled around to see Draco Malfoy lazily striding toward you. Now, you’ve had him in a few of your classes and you’ve exchanged brief conversations, but lately your interaction level seemed to increase. As did your annoyance level. “Pardon?”

“I didn’t stutter, correct? I said Hogsmeade. How about it?”

“Hogsmeade sounds great.” You smiled wryly. “Hogsmeade with you? Well, that’s a different story.”

You made your way back to your common room as quickly as possible, abruptly ending the short lived conversion. As you entered, you tried to ignore your friend’s what-the-hell-was-that look.

“Oh, please. Don’t give me that look. If I knew what that was about, I would tell you.” You folded your arms and stared blankly at your unfinished assignments. “What the bloody hell is Draco trying to get at? Who asks someone on a date to Hogsmeade when they hardly know the person.”

“Well, Y/N, usually when people go on dates, it’s to get to know each other. Shocking–I know.”

“Funny.” You took a deep breath as you straightened your posture. “Who does Malfoy think he is? It’ll take a lot more than a shout across the field to get a date out of me.” You tilted your chin up. “I have standards.”

You felt a wadded up ball of parchment hit your face. “Whatever you say, Drama Queen.”

+ + +

You drummed your fingers against the table, waiting for Charms to begin. Your Charms lesson fell right after lunch, but you arrived early to ask Professor Flitwick a question about the previous night’s assignment. As you began to zone out, you saw a shadow loom over you.

Lo and behold–it was Draco Malfoy. Behind him, you noticed, stood Blaise with the usual apathetic expression on his face.

“Do you guys need something or are you just here to bask in my presence?”

Even the indifferent Blaise had to snort at that.

“I actually have a question to ask you about yesterday’s homework assignment, but your presence is definitely a bonus.”

You looked up at him with an impassive expression. You blinked twice. It was no secret that Malfoy excelled at Charms–as he did with all his other courses–just as it was no secret that you, to put it lightly, found it difficult. It was a wonder how you passed your O.W.L. level Charms and an even bigger mystery as to why you continued on with the N.E.W.T. level.

“Do you remember the name of the water-making spell? I seem to have forgotten.”

Your expression turned to one of confusion. “That’s the question you need help with?”

“Yes,” Draco affirmed as Professor Flitwick announced the that beginning of class started and everyone should get to their seats.

“Oh…I’m actually not sure. Piscifors, maybe?” you said without any real thought.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Blaise rub his temples. You could practically see the word “idiot” forming in his mind. However, you saw the side of Draco’s mouth quirk upward.

Well, you never did say you were good at Charms.

At the end of the lesson, Draco approached you as you made your way out of the door.

“Aguamenti,” he said.

“Pardon?”

“Piscifors is a Transfiguration spell that transforms the target into a fish, mind you. Aguamenti is the spell to make water. It can actually also be classified as a conjuration.”

You crossed your arms and turned your head slightly toward him. “Needed help on your homework, my arse.”

“I never said I needed help. I simply said I had a question. But it was a great excuse to talk to you, yes?”

“No,” you deadpanned, ending the conversation.

“So, Hogsmeade?” Draco asked as you started to head a different direction.

“Really, Draco? It’s like you’re asking for another rejection.”

He smiled smugly, ignoring your remark. “I know you will go on a date with me, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes. “Malfoy, give up. I’m not looking for a relationship. Especially not one with the likes of you.”

“Please, love,” he drawled. “If anyone could break your no relationship mantra, it would be me.”

“I’d love to see you make that happen.”

He smiled a knowing smile that could only mean no good. “Just watch me.”

+ + +

Of course, by the time the weekend trip rolled around, you still had no intentions of accompanying Malfoy. You went with a couple of friends from your house instead.

“I scared him away, do you reckon? Couldn’t handle anymore rejections?” you mused as you walked with your friends down High Street.

One of them shook their heads. “It is Draco Malfoy we’re talking about, right? There’s no way he would give up so easily–or give up at all.”

You frowned. “I hate to admit it, but you’re probably right. Who knows where the next random encounter with him will be,” you said, signaling air quotes around the word ‘random.’

“Let’s not talk about Draco. Right now, we enjoy Hogsmeade. Butterbeer anyone?”

“Must you ask?” you laughed. “Also, I’ve been craving sweets from Honeydukes lately.”

With murmurs of agreement, you continued down the street, trying to push the thoughts of Malfoy to the back of your mind.

+ + +

As the weekend came to an end, you decided to head over to the library to try to complete your assignments before it Monday. As you stared at your Numerology and Grammatica textbook for Advanced Arithmancy Studies, you began to drift off. Holding off on Arithmancy homework until late at night wasn’t your brightest idea.

You jolted upright at a tap on your shoulder. “Hmm?” you mumbled, turning around in your seat. “Oh. It’s only you.”

“Only me? I would show more gratitude to someone who just saved you from Madam Pince’s wrath. Falling asleep in the library, darling, really? She would have hexed you out of here.”

“My hero. What would I have done without you?” You rolled your eyes, but felt a small smile playing on your lips. “Were you just here to save the damsel in distress or did you actually need something?”

His usual cocky expression dwindled down as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I…”

Your raised an eyebrow at him.

“I overheard you Saturday.”

“Pardon?”

“At Hogsmeade. You said you wanted Honeydukes…” Draco trailed off, his sentences quiet and unsure, contrasting with his normally eloquent tone. 

“I did,” you said in confusion. Your eyes searched him and settled on a giant bag he held in one hand. “Malfoy, what the bloody hell is in that thing?”

He cleared his throat in an attempt to regain composure. “It’s for you…“ He handed you the bag and you saw a glimpse of the inside. “I wasn’t sure which your favorite sweet was so I–”

“Bought practically all of them? Draco!” you said with incredulity, but felt the heat spreading across your face. “Are you crazy?”

“Only about you.”

That statement caused you to chuck a chocolate frog at his chest, container and all, just as Madam Pince walked by and yelled at you both to get out, threatening to hex your behinds’.

You ran a safe distance away from the library, attempting to control your breathing, with Draco right next to you, the Honeydukes bag in his hands. Once you made it away from the librarian’s line of fire, you and Draco looked at each other and started to laugh.

“Good going, Malfoy,” you said, shoving him. “I’ve never been chased out of the library before.”

“And you think I have?”

As the adrenaline wore down, you turned your attention back to the bag of sweets. “Draco, you really didn’t have to get me practically every treat in Honeydukes. A single jelly slug would’ve been good enough.”

“You deserve more than just good enough, love.”

You glared at him. “Please don’t make me throw another chocolate frog at you.”

“No need. I’m serious this time.” He set the bag down and straightened his posture. “You’ve had my attention for quite a while now, but your rejections just added fuel to the flame. However– I didn’t think that throughout the chase I’d end up actually taking a liking to you.”

You weren’t sure of what to say to that; all you know was that your cheeks were beginning to redden. Although you didn’t want to admit it, Draco’s constant pestering wore you down. You began to think that maybe dating him wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. In all honesty, it sounded a bit appealing.

He continued, “I was hoping the sweets were enough to help you realize that.”

“It was a major hint, to say the least,” you said once your face cooled down.

There was an awkward pause when neither of you knew what to say, so you simply took a bite of a chocolate frog.

“Well, since you did go completely mad and buy out of the store, you might as well start helping me finish it all.”

Draco let out a strangled laugh. “Sure.”

You caught his downcast eyes. “I never say this, so take note.”

Now it was his turn to give you a confused look.

“You were right,” you murmured. “If any guy could make me willing to be lenient on my no relationship streak, it would be you.” You looked away, finding it hard to swallow your pride. “It is you.”

A grin spread across Draco’s face at your words. ”I told you so.”

“Really? That’s all you have to say to that?”

“I just had to get that out of the way.” His expression sobered. “So, what do you say, Y/L/N? We missed the Hogsmeade trip, but there’s always next time.”

“I mean… We don’t have to wait until the next trip to go on a date, right?”

“Eager much?” he laughed. You stood in each other’s presence as his eyes fluttered down to your lips. Without a moment’s hesitation, Malfoy laid a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Eager much?”

“Me? Of course not. You just had some chocolate on your face.”

“Good. You had me worried there,” you teased. “I was worried it was normal for you to give such pathetic kisses.”

“Please, love, if I actually kissed you, I’d leave you breathless and begging for more.”

“I’d love to see you make that happen.”

And again, Draco smiled a knowing smile that could only mean no good. “Just watch me.”


Okay there, out of character Draco. I don’t know… I just think that Draco is normally cocky and arrogant, but when he has a genuine crush, he starts to get nervous and not as confident and just really wants to impress you and ugh. I don’t know, dude.

Thank you for the support on my previous (and first) oneshot. Hope you enjoy this one as well–despite the cheesiness and all.

Feel free to give feedback or request a oneshot. I think I’ll open the characters to the (young) Marauders and maybe more.

MASTERLIST – mobile / computer

READ BEFORE YOU REQUEST

SEND REQUESTS HERE

Dating Lena Luthor (clingy and cuddly)

Originally posted by jediranger

Request: Dating a clingy/cuddly lena luthor would include

a/n: I’ve dabbled with this style of formatting in one of my earlier posts, but it really did not look as nice on the app at all as it does on desktop and mobile web browser. I’ve thought to try it again to give myself a little break from all my long exposition. If the formatting messes up monumentally when it’s translated to the app, then I fully apologize for how ugly it looks LOL

I say this often to the point of being redundant and annoying but I really do mean it; I love seeing what you folks come up with for me to write. So don’t be afraid to hit up that ask box! I’m going through them all at a steady pace and hopefully I can do it justice. Thank you all again for reading, I’m so happy some of you enjoy what I do :D

- - - - -

  • before you two ever started dating, you found she had a bit of an awkward way with her hands, seeming to not know what to do with them

  • you would never have suspected Lena to be all that much of a tactile person, but as anything Lena Luthor would have it, she flipped expectations right on their head and you found you were pleasantly surprised the more you got to know her

  • Lena loved working with her hands - if she really had it her way, she’d spend all her time in the research and development department of L-Corp, preferring to actually do something tangible rather than work the strings behind the scenes of her company

  • initially, she’d allow herself a few fleeting touches when it came to you. Each time without fail, you felt her igniting miniature blazes on your skin

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