also; have the be all and end all quote for these idiots

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

BS Bending in TLOK

Watching The Legend of Korra is so disappointing in a lot of different ways. So if you ignore the plot, you’d expect at least some good action scenes with the effort and consistency from the old show. Ehhhh. The bending in LOK is strikingly idiotic and a degradation of the gem from the old show. Maybe if I weren’t comparing it to The Last Airbender, I wouldn’t mind it. But the fact it is so blatantly off from its predecessor makes for another highlight of Korra that I can’t un-see. From how elements are manipulated to even more complex shit with specific kinds of ~special people bending~, Korra, if I can put this politely, fucks everything up.

Right from the start you can tell that Korra definitely dumbed down the movements of the characters. It’s odd because the martial arts expert from Avatar worked on Korra as well. However, he only worked on 22 episodes of Korra, compare that with his 61 episodes guided in The Last Airbender. It’s probably a mix of Kisu’s lack of involvement, and an overall decision from the writers that maybe it wasn’t as important? Which is sad, because it really disassociates the audience from the complex spirituality and intricacies of the world. Styles benders seem to have spent years mastering are lost, and replaced with a modern, boxing type “PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH!!!” Hollywood action situation. Here’s some pretty (MS PAINT) pictures to do the talking for me.

And a bonus:

If the simplification of normal bending hasn’t gotten to you, there’s still a lot more I have to sift through. There’s so much shit pointing to how bending’s complexity was reduced for coooool moments. I’m even going to make nice little subheaders.

Lavabending 

So, in ATLA we see lavabending is a feat only the Avatars are capable of. Roku does it, Kyoshi does it. Avatar cool kids only. But then in Book Three, Bolin suddenly has the ability to lavabend at the tip of the hat. Which, by the way, is another thing stupidly prevalent throughout this series. Both Korra and Bolin in times of crisis suddenly have the ability to do things they couldn’t do, but really wished they could’ve. Hooow convenient.

So the discrepancy here is how Bolin can lavabend, and so can this random Earthbender guy, wouldn’t that mean all Earthbenders can? Metalbending makes sense, but lava is so hot it’s going to set stuff on fire. Technically, it counts as two elements, and has been confirmed as such by making it an Avatar-only thing in ATLA. But now these two random guys can just do this. Apparently it may even be easier than metalbending, which is also ridiculous. If lavabending is just bending the Earth to “go fast”, that’s a lot easier than metalbending because there’s more mass to bend. Just make it go zoom zoom and blamo everyone’s a lavabender.

Some people like to claim that because Bolin had an Earthbending dad and a Firebender mom, then that means he can control both elements to control lava. Which is dumb because then that would make him a fanfic-esque Dual Bender. And we really don’t need any of those. It’s never explained or justified, and is so different from the original show, it feels…sacrilegious. How dare you dishonor the lore. /s

BALD AIRBENDING MAN

What’s his name?

I don’t really care, because he’s dumb too. I feel like I don’t have to elaborate, though. It should be pretty obvious. ~Harmonic Converge~ (weird af plot device) gave him airbending, and because he studied it before and read a book by an Airbender Lady, he’s a master at it now. His powers are so innate, he worked so little to get to where he is. Hell, he didn’t work at all.

Unless you want me to believe that all his days in prison, he anticipated becoming an airbender and practiced all the moves beforehand. Granted, there are no official moves anymore. I’m sure he’s experienced in reckless punching. That’s all you need to bend, right?

If he can read a book and be great at airbending, why can’t Korra. Why didn’t Aang read THREE books to go defeat Ozai. Aang just should’ve read Earthbending for Dummies. Then he could bend the entire world off its axis. And This Bald Guy can jump off a cliff after quoting some “deep airbending lore” and he can FLY. Not even propelled by anything or even (AGAIN I REITERATE) moving his arms to BEND the currents around him. He’s not flying. He’s floating. And floating characters have always seemed like pretty bad animation, seriously. He looks like a late-stage yuri on ice character. Super out of place, and moving oddly across an undefined plane.

MAKO IN GENERAL

Mako does a couple things I’m not a big fan of. Ok, a lot of things. But in terms of bending, I have a few choice picks.

In Legend of Korra, lightning and its redirection has a lot less of an impact. Being electrocuted no longer hurts anyone unless the writers want us to feel bad for a character being hurt (usually Korra). But half of the time, it’s just there to look really COOL and not really do anything. This is proven by two things. Mako shoots lightning right on Amon at point blank, and Amon isn’t affected. The same is true for Mako. He HOLDS ON to the lightning and ISN’T AFFECTED AT ALL. Let me make another ATLA/LOK comparison.

Zuko: Tries to redirect lightning, gaurding his torso so hopefully it doesn’t hit him. In the end it does and he’s pretty much out of the fight.

Mako: Doesn’t even really care if he’s hit by the lightning at all. He holds on to it for a good few seconds, because it’s not like electrocution hurts or anything. Only after getting a REFRESHING SHOCK for a good bit does he decide to toss it back at the Robo Man.

Maybe this would make sense because Mako is supposed to be a cool, all-powerful Firebender. But then even that theory breaks down, because he can withstand the strongest forms of raw fuckin’ Bending Power from all elements, apparently.

He does another of these dumb moves when he’s being bloodbended by Amon. We see Amon being bloodbended, but he escapes the grip, and the audience assumes it’s because he’s a bloodbender. But then suddenly MAKO CAN DO IT TOO. What a great guy.

Also Amon’s fine from this shock as well. And this kind of encompasses everything I’ve touched on. There’s Amon bending without moving, Mako having unrealistic powers never touched on before, and powers that are nerfed to all hell just to add ~drama~ in replace of actual sense.

TL;DR: LOK’s bending is saturated action filler written in for wish fulfillment, sacrifices old techniques and inner consistency for cool looking moves and scenarios, and shows a disappointing lack of passion or misunderstanding of the source material

Medical School—A Not-So-Quick Walkthrough

Hey humans! Aunt Scripty here. This post is a submission by Brittany, whose Tumblr handle I surprisingly don’t know. This post came through the Submissions Box. If you’re interested, I encourage people to submit articles to appear on the blog! [though it may behoove us both if you message me first, as I have a few posts in-progress and I don’t want us to duplicate efforts]

Anyway, give Brittany some props! This is an awesome post, and I’m CRAZY thankful she wrote in! And now, Brittany, take it away!

Disclaimer: This applies to the American medical system only, and may be biased by the author’s experiences.  Also note that this is the process for becoming an MD, not a DO (both MDs and DOs are fully licensed physicians, but DOs have a stronger focus on the musculoskeletal system and their schooling is slightly different).

Disclaimer Part 2: I swear, this was SUPPOSED to be a brief post.  Oops.

The quick and dirty:

—4 years of undergrad

—4 years of medical school, 2 in the classroom and 2 clinical

—3-5 years of residency depending on what they specialize in.  Can be longer if they add subspecialties or fellowships.

The in-depth description:

Getting in (Premed student)

Acceptance to medical school is hard enough to start with.  There’s an estimate that 75% of applicants are qualified, but only 50% get in.  Your character doesn’t need to major in biology or pre-med, but there are pre-requisites: two semesters each of biology, chemistry, organic chemistry, calculus, and physics, plus a couple biology electives, and I think psych and statistics have been added on since I graduated, but don’t quote me on that.  That’s pretty much 2/3 of a science major right there, so you can see why a lot of people just end up with that.  During spring of junior year, they’ll take a giant standardized test called the MCAT that covers all of those topics and is notoriously difficult.

Along with the classroom work, they’ll have to get clinical experience—most commonly volunteering, shadowing, or working as a medical scribe, but you can get creative—and usually do a little research of some kind.  Med school is hard and being a doctor is harder; they want to know that you’ve got an idea of what you’re getting into.  If your character does all that right, they interview with medical schools during the fall of senior year, and hopefully get accepted!

Year 1 (MS1)

Your first year is classroom based.  You get daily lectures on very complicated medical topics, with relatively little patient interaction this year.  Schools will include more practical classes as well, including a cadaver dissection, pathology (where you train to look at cells and understand what a healthy vs. diseased one looks like; some schools are old school and have people still work with slides and microscopes, others like mine do it virtually), and standardized patient encounters (where they hire actors to come in and work with us so we can practice histories and physical exams and basically get a baseline on things like “what does a normal lung sounds like?”).

Patient interaction varies from school to school, but generally is pretty low.  You can shadow a certain specialty you’re interested in, volunteer in free clinics, join different clubs/interest groups, or do various electives that will focus on teaching certain aspects of patient care (nutrition, medical Spanish, global health, etc.), but you have to go look for them.  If I hadn’t done any of that, I would have seen maybe… two patients a month?  Most students will branch out with those other opportunities, though.

Year 2 (MS2)

Similar to MS1 in that you’re still on classroom duty, still not seeing many patients.  Typically you learn more sensitive physical exams this year (urological, gynecologic, breast, etc.), and you’re finished with the cadaver dissection, but things are otherwise the same.  At the end of your character’s MS2 year, they’ll take their first board exam, called STEP 1.  You can take it one time only unless you fail.  Low scores or a fail are really frowned on, and can limit the specialty your character goes into, so you can imagine the pressure.

Year 3 (MS3)

Yay!  Your character’s now ready to be let loose on the clinic/hospital!

Boo!  This year kicks. your. ass.

This year is all about making your character feel like an idiot putting what your character’s been studying for two years into action.  The schedule is broken up into rotations, which are periods of 4-8 weeks where students focus on a specific specialty each time.  These courses are: pediatrics, family medicine, psychiatry, ob/gyn, neurology (usually), emergency (sometimes), surgery, and internal medicine.  Difficulty varies by rotation, with surgery and ob/gyn being the worst (12 hour days with only one day off a week, max; surgery adds in occasional 24 hour shifts too, just to spice things up).  Occasionally you’ll land on a nice one, like psychiatry, with 10 hour days and free weekends.

On a more day-to-day level, third years are usually part of a small medical team that cares for a set of patients.  The team consists of an attending (fully licensed physician), residents (physicians who are training in their particular specialty), and medical students (MS3s and MS4s both).  MS3s will usually get a small subset of hospital patients they care for every day—take their histories, do their physical exams, list what you think they have, and suggest treatments/tests—but because you’re not licensed, you basically take all that to the attending/resident who hears you out and then says ‘yea’ or ‘nay.’  As the year progresses, hopefully you hear more ‘yeas’ and fewer ‘nays.’

At the end of this year/the beginning of 4th year, there’s another board exam called STEP 2.  Half is your typical multiple choice test, with a numeric score—much like STEP 1—while half is a pass/fail practical where you work with standardized patients.

Year 4 (MS4)

Hopefully by now your character has figured out what they want to specialize in.  I can go over specialties in another post if anyone’s curious, but the biggest ones are basically the same as the ones listed as core rotations during the MS3 year.  There’s a giant application/interview process that takes up the lion’s share of the summer/fall/winter for interviews with residency.  At the end of the process, everyone ranks the residencies they interviewed with from most to least favorite, and at the same time the residencies rank their interviewees from most to least.  The whole thing goes into a giant computer algorithm to give as many people as possible as high a choice as possible, and then on the same day of the year, at the same time, MS4s across the country take a deep breath and open envelopes saying where they ‘matched.’

In addition, with those pesky core rotations out of the way, the character has time to take electives that may or may not be applicable to their future specialty—me, I’m going for emergency medicine, so I’m doing several rotations in EM as well as EMS, but I’m also doing a two week course forensics because it sounds awesome.

Otherwise, 4th year is widely known as the ‘take a breath’ year.  People get married or have babies during this time, travel, and generally start to act like human beings again.  There’s space in your schedule that’s off—it’s generally intended for interviews or studying for STEP 2 if you’re taking it late, but people will use it for anything.

Residency

Not going to give too much detail about it, seeing as how your character is technically a doctor at this point, but residency is basically 3-5 years where your character trains in a specialty—yes, they’re physicians, but they don’t know everything about their particular field and need trained.  You’re in this weird limbo between student and employee; you make a salary (although a very low one considering the number of hours) and can prescribe medication, perform procedures, etc., but an attending is responsible for you, you still attend a weekly lecture, and you can’t practice independently.  To give you an idea of how hard these years are, they recently had to limit things like “don’t make residents work more than 36 hours in a row,” and “don’t put the doctor who graduated med school a month ago in charge of an entire floor of ICU patients for a night with no backup.”  Incredibly, some of the old-school attendings think said changes are a bad idea and will produce doctors who are “weak.”

Also, you thought your character was done with standardized tests?  You sweet summer child.  STEP 3 has to be finished before you can complete residency, and is usually done during intern year.  The good side of this is, you’re in a residency now, so as long as you pass, no one cares about the score.

Random notes:

—This is a sample timeline, following your ‘traditional’ student.  It’s becoming more and more common for people to take a couple of years off after undergrad and apply for medical school after that.  If you want a chance for your character to gain some non-medical life experience (travel, other skill sets, becoming a parent, etc.), this is a good chance for them to do it!

—I’ve been asked by a writer I know in RL how young someone could potentially become a doctor.  I think she wanted to put in a prodigy kind of person.  The problem with that is that medical schools don’t just look for smarts, they look for maturity—imagine having someone who looks like they can’t drink yet tell you you’ve got a terminal disease, and you can see why.  That said, there are a couple of accelerated programs, where I’ve seen people graduate undergrad a year early and go straight into medical school, or where they condense medical school into three whirlwind years because the person’s on track for a specific primary care residency.  So if most people graduate medical school at age 26-27, you could have someone out at 25 or maybe 24, but probably no younger.  And remember, they’ll still need residency training from there.

—Not gonna lie, medical school is incredibly difficult.  That said, I think the best students/doctors are the ones who maintain an outside interest or two, so don’t feel like your character can only have medical skills (*cough*Grey'sAnatomy*cough*) .  Give them a few side interests to maintain their spirit.

—I can give more detail about any and all of these if anyone asks; these are supposed to help you understand what your character has had to go through to be a doctor, not be a full detail spiel.  I can also do ‘day in the lifes’ if someone’s writing a med student character and wants an accurate description, but let’s be real: most people want to write the master, not the pupil.

EXO 101: A Crash Course

Park Chanyeol 

Originally posted by megglesbagels

Soft baby by day, sexy mofo by night. Can do everything?? Sing, rap, dance, cook, act, write and produce music, play the guitar (classical, spanish, lead, and rhythm omg) and the piano and the drums, has the body of an elf king. He’s also AMAZING with children as shown [here - skip to 12:17 and WATCH you won’t regret it] and dogs too! All animals really. He’s Korean Snow White. With abs. And if Snow White was extra. 

Also the kindest soul ever. He’s always smiling, even when he’s down. He literally said, and I quote; “No matter how difficult something is, I will always be positive and smile like an idiot.” His then-girlfriend nicknamed him “Happy Virus.” Constantly buys his members gifts, is very tall (well over six feet), and he’s the most extroverted and sociable person - actually friends with everyone. 10/10 amazing human.  


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by junhyyo

Don’t let him fool you!!! He looks soft but he will fuck you up with his cheeky lil smile and pelvic sorcery and unearthly vocals and uGH. His wit is unparalleled like omg, so sassy and hilarious and sharp. Also a huge nerd when it comes to anime, manga, and video games. Once gave a picture of himself to another member as a gift, the lil shit.  

He’s incredibly passionate about his career and his members, and I think it was Kyungsoo who said that it’s Baek who keeps them all together at times. In summary: Byun Baekhyun is what happens when a demon and an angel do the do. 


D.O./Do Kyungsoo:

Originally posted by sehuntiful

Do Kyungsoo? More like Do Me, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry I’m so thirsty Ksoo…I don’t even know where to begin with this one. First of all, he single-handedly saved the human race from extinction with his voice. He’s savage af, so much so that he’s affectionately nicknamed “Satansoo” and he will smack a bitch. He’s also so soft and squishy at the same time, you’ll get whiplash. And his acTING. Lord in heaven. And I believe he didn’t even have acting lessons?? The nerve of him. He, too, is sex on legs, and he might be quieter than the others, but y’all best listen when he talks cause boy bout to spill the tea. 

He’s also very paternal in that he takes care of the other members a lot, like when Kai, his roommate, isn’t feeling well, he’ll care for him or go out to get food for him. And he can cook really well. I’m gonna stop now before I end up writing an entire dissertation ;’)


Lay/Zhang Yixing

Originally posted by glorious-soobooty

ALSO NOT PURE ABORT ABORT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Oh my god. Anyway. Zhang Yixing is the perfect contradiction. On the one hand, he’s an actual baby lamb - laugh and all. On the other hand, he’s the human embodiment of the NC-17 rating. Like, hide yo kids. Yixing is also one of the Chinese members of EXO, so he often leaves to promote his solo music which is in Chinese, and he works so incredibly hard and deserves all the success. He also writes the lyrics, and composes and arranges the music! 

And…his dancing. Proof that god exists. There is literally no part of his body that Yixing does not have absolute command over - and you can see it because he is so precise, confident, and sexy. :’) 


Suho/Kim Junmyeon

Originally posted by oohsehunnies

I actually had to cover his face while writing this because holy–

Yup. Moving on. 

Actually, back to his face (and the rest of him): Remember when Da Vinci was conceptualizing the Vitruvian Man (lol only 90′s kids will remember…1490′s kids, that is). You know that picture of the guy with another pair of arms and legs superimposed on him, inside a circle? The drawing theorizing the ideal proportions of the human body? Yup, true story: Junmyeon was Da Vinci’s muse. Suho’s face is so symmetrical, it inspired mathematicians to write the golden ratio. He is a genetic miracle, a statistical outlier, a national treasure–

Anyway *sweats*. ALSO. Let’s talk about his personality. Myeon is the mom of EXO, the leader, so he’s naturally very parental. He actually chose the stage name “Suho” because it means guardian. He always does his best to keep his kids the members together and doing what they need to be doing. Always pays for things ($Junmoney$), and is the person a lot of them confide in and go to for comfort or advice, especially Sehun. 

He’s such a dad too - like his dad joke ratings are off the charts. 10/10 would build you a tree house and tuck you in at night. 


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by sehurn

Maknae. Icon. Legend. Used to have a lisp. 

People sometimes think he’s cold or reserved because of his face, but as you can see in the gif, he’s literal sunshine. He once cried on stage because he was knocked on the head by a camera - but he wasn’t crying because the injury hurt, he was crying because he wasn’t allowed to perform because of it, and he felt like he was disappointing his fans. He also cried during a radio show when asked about his other members - he said every night before he falls asleep, he prays for them and he prays that they all stay together and are successful and happy. And now I’m crying. 

Everyone is in love with him

His dancing resurrected me from the dead, put my children through college, and ended world hunger because damn we are fed when that boy moves. 

Sehun was once invited to Paris for a Louis Vuitton fashion show and became king of France. I’m not kidding. All he did was show up, and there was a huge crowd already there to greet him as if he were royalty, and he was voted best dressed at the show by Vogue. He went to the Louvre, and people were studying and appreciating him, the actual art.  


Chen/Kim Jongdae

Originally posted by dayafterdae

Ah, little dino bby. He’s iconic for many reasons: 

1) His smile. It curls up at the corners like this :}

2) When he laughs, he literally goes HAHAHAHAHA like wow, amazing, I want this as my ringtone

3) He screams a lot. Nickelodeon once made a show about him called Jongdae: The Last Pterodactyl

4) HIS VOCALS. Un-freaking-believable. He’s the male version of Mariah Carey. 

5) Speaks really good Chinese! (He’s Korean) 

6) An amazing human?? He donates to charity so often and he doesn’t do it for publicity either. He takes good care of the other members too. 

Jongdae, let me put a ring on it. 


Xiumin/Kim Minseok

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

HERE WE GO. My precious boy :’)

Minseok. The eldest. Also known as the best person to ever exist. Like Kyungsoo, he doesn’t talk much because he’s a shy lil bean, but once he warms up to you, the things that come out of his mouth are so deep and cute and funny and wowow I want ten of him

Is the least likely to cry

Was chubby (and so adorable!!) as a little kid, and now he has a six pack. Because of his weight as a kid though, he has spoken many times about the issue of body shaming and how people’s perceptions of a person shift based on how they look. He once said these words that made my cold, dead heart beat again: “I don’t have an ideal type. If our hearts match well, then she will look pretty to me.” 

Has the strongest arms in EXO. They all arm wrestled and he won and it was the funniest thing ever. 

Is not only an idol, he’s also getting his Ph.D. Dr. Kim. I can’t believe….

Wants to open his own coffee shop, and I don’t drink coffee, but I would chug any dish-water-coffee-grinds-filth that he would serve me because damn I love him. 


Kai/Kim Jongin

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

R00D MOTHERF*CKER. 

The Bias Wrecker. Or just your bias, plain and simple 

Kim Jongin is one of nature’s greatest accomplishments. His gams are the eighth wonder of the world - and he puts them to use when he dances, like please kick me in the face with those omfg 

His laugh. Astounding. Also don’t stand too close when he laughs because he will hit you. It’s just what he does lmao

He’s basically a hip young old man - so hot but so sleepy. He’ll sleep at any given opportunity. 

Very fond of fried chicken. And dogs. But not in terms of eating, for the latter

Learned ballet for ten years and it shows, and I just wANT TO SEE HIM IN A LEOTARD DAMMIT

He has darker skin than the other members which people used to make fun of him for and still do comment on, but he says he loves it and he is proud of his body :’) we are too bby!!


Other random facts

EXO originally had 12 members but 3 left and we’re not going to talk about it okay? okay

- Chen and Xiumin are married best friends. Xiumin actually said in an interview that Chen is “like my wife” 

- Sehun is now officially Lord Oh Sehun of Glencoe, Scotland because his fans are the most Extra and purchased the estate for his birthday :’) 

- Chanyeol once folded one hundred paper cranes for his girlfriend as a gift, but in the middle of doing this, she called him and broke up with him

- Baekhyun can’t cook for shit but at least he’s pretty 

- Kai is dating F(X)’s Krystal 

- Kyungsoo once said to the camera that he is “not pure” 

- Yixing starred in a gay sci-fi movie where he and this other dude have a baby

- Suho is a health nut. Just like how girls always have pads and tampons on them, Suho has multivitamins 


For @the-porcelain-doll-xo because I’m the friend that wants to drag you into hell with me, and I can’t wait for you to get into EXO ahhhhh ily <33

Actual--Quartermaster’s 00Q rec list:

A collection of amazing works that deserve all the praise. Warnings are added to fics with major concerning aspects, however, be prepared for canon typical violence and sexual content in pretty much every fic– I mean, this is James Bond, he’d manage to get into a knife fight even in a coffee shop AU.

Quriosity by dr_girlfriend

Words: 80495  Chapters: 33/33

Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster.

“Your prior hotel is no longer secure, I will direct you to a new location. Your luggage has already been transferred. A field agent and medic from the Diréction Générale de la Sécurité d'État will be waiting at the side entrance. I have cleared them both personally.” In contrast to his crisp dry English, Q’s pronunciation of the French words was fluid and flawless, the throaty tone of the fricatives sending a surprising jolt of awareness straight to Bond’s cock — all the more remarkable given his degree of blood loss.

“You’re wasted on Q-branch, you have the voice for a phone-sex call-in line.” The words slipped out of Bond’s mouth without forethought, although he had plenty of time to think in the sudden pause that came afterward and stretched on for endless moments. Bond hadn’t realized until now how Q was always there, with an immediate reply. In all their banter Q had never before been at a loss for words. Ever.

____

I reread this fic at least once every few months, it’s that good. I have it saved in the pdfs on my phone for car rides and vacations. This fic stays so true to the characters, with everything from Q’s unceasing exasperation to Bond’s cheeky carelessness. The only bad thing I can say about it, is that it doesn’t follow my “Q is a Holmes brother” headcanon. Honestly, if you haven’t read this fic yet, it’s probably the one you’ve been looking for.

~~~

Human Error by thejabberwock

Words: 86107   Chapters: 14/14

007 is the perfect assassin, an artificial intelligence with the ability to think for itself. Human emotions were never meant to be part of its programming, and Q was never meant to be anything more than its creator.

____

Okay, this was so good, I had to contact the author (@bondsboffin) in the middle of it being written. I was going out of my mind. Bond is so complex and the style is just so intriguing. Honestly, this is the kind of fic that will make you roll on the floor in angst.

~~~

Blue-Eyed Monster by Only_1_Truth

Words: 118362   Chapters: 23/23

Yes, this version of 007 was a terrifyingly smart agent, and M wondered long and often whether it had been a good idea to promote him to the position. Usually, the title was the dangerous part - being 007 meant deadliness - but this time, M feared that a certain man with ice-blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair had dragged in more danger to the title than it had previously possessed

Enter MI6’s new Quartermaster: an unassuming, bespectacled genius with no mind for subterfuge but plenty of genius behind a dry smile. Curious 00-agents and young boffins don’t always mix in predictable ways…

____

This made me cry the first time I read it. Full of humorous chess games, dangerous double 0’s, and domestic (well, at least as close as possible to anyway) Bond. A wonderful Skyfall rewrite.

~~~

Beautiful Creatures by 1MissMolly

Words: 63151  Chapters: 30/30

“You smell good,” Q’s drunk words were slurred and raspy.

“I’ve been told.” James smiled at the young man.

“Stay here, I want to snuggle.”

“What?”

“Snuggle, be my teddy bear.”

“What!? I could blackmail you for that comment.” James joked but Q was already snoring lightly. His arms still wrapped tight around James neck. The older man gave in, convincing himself it was only because Q wanted him there. James own wishes and desires were not pushing him to lay beside Benjamin. The reason he was here, he told himself over and over again, was to protect the quartermaster. His scent and angelic face had nothing to do with it. At least that what he tried to tell himself.

Bond discovers that his quartermaster is an omega, which would be fine, except someone is murdering the omegas that work for MI6.

Very slow build of coworkers to friends to something more. Working together to fight against the monsters in the dark.

___

Warning: A/B/O fic. An extremely well done one at that. Despite the summary, Q can hold his own, which was awesome to read. A complex plot and amazing development, overall a great read.

~~~

Brevity and Opulence by loveindirtytrenchcoats

Words: 7777   Chapters: 1/1

There’s no time to grab anything to defend himself with, because the first hinge on the door snaps open with a bang, and the second follows on the next hit. The door rips backwards, thrown to the floor by the same man Q had been in the ski lift with, who smiles menacingly and draws a knife from his jacket. The Quartermaster wonders how long it will take for James to realise he’s missing.

Before the henchman even gets in his first hit, Q knows it’ll be too late.

____

Short and sweet, a fix-it fic for Spectre. The best fix-it fic I’ve read at that.

~~~

The Love Song of James Bond by Fightyourdragon

Words: 103853   Chapters: 17/17

“Knowing your history, and adding to it the fact that I am not entirely unaffected by sharing a bed with you, I think it would be pointless to pretend that we are going to able to share this house for the next two weeks without fucking over every available surface.” Q smiles at the look of shock on James’ face. Clearly he hadn’t been expecting such a direct approach and Q presses on before he has a chance to recover. “However, when it happens it will happen on my terms.”

There was definitely a significant gap between the time Bond was breaking down over M’s death in the chapel to the time a confident Bond walked into Mallory’s office to accept his newest assignment. What, or more importantly, who, put him back together again? Basically, lots of porn with plot.

____

Warning: BDSM. A majority of this fic is two idiots on an island, fucking and making friends with the old couple who own the local pub. It’s the most weirdly domestic thing I’ve ever read, and its beautiful.

~~~

Bal-Chatri by Kryptaria

Words: 46402   Chapters: 14/14

Rising through the ranks at MI6 is enough to erode anyone’s ability to trust. The agents of the Double O program all take paranoia one step further, elevating it to an art form. But everyone needs one person to trust – even James Bond. Now, Q just has to figure out how to convince him of that.

Bal-Chatri: A versatile trap used to humanely catch all types of birds, including birds of prey.

____

Warning: BDSM. Part of a three part series, and, honestly, it’s beautiful. Q is patient and kind, and together they work through Bond’s problems.

~~~

Synchronicity by stereobone

Words: 7600   Chapters: 1/1

It goes on like that for months, and then Q realizes that James Bond is “hanging out” at his flat.

____

Another short and sweet fic, and actually the softest thing I’ve ever read. James is just so gentle and Q treats him like he deserves. Good rainy day read.

~~~

Return the Conquering Hero by 1MissMolly

Words: 41596  Chapters: 14/14

Bond and Trevelyan are sent in to rescue a mysterious hacker out of a corrupt prison. They don’t know who sent them in or how to get the young man out. But the longer they stay in the prison, the more Bond becomes attracted to the young hacker.

____

Warning: major rape/non-con elements, but nothing truly horrid happens to our boys. Not the most satisfying ending but lovely nonetheless, one of those fics you wouldn’t mind a sequel to. Also, have I ever mentioned how much I love Alec Trevelyan being included? Because this pushes all those buttons.

~~~

Redamancy by opalescentgold

Words: 80627   Chapters: 7/8

If you write something on your skin, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

James doesn’t quite fall in love over physics discussions and cheeky book quotes and coding and riddles inked onto his skin, but he comes close.

And then he actually meets Q.

____

It’s not finished yet, I know. But, this fic is so good, I couldn’t put it down. I’m sure I read it in under two nights (that’s with a full time job and full time school). This fic highlights the true discrepancy in age between Bond and Q, and is a whole lot of angst at points, and it’s delightful.

~~~

Distraction by Pasteles

Words: 269   Chapters: 1/1

James Bond is an impatient bastard.

____

Putting this in here because my lovely @actual–007 wrote this for me, AND I OPENED IT WHILE I WAS AT CHURCH THANK YOU VERY MUCH. But, it’s lovely and so is she.

anonymous asked:

I'm so glad Kirishima is getting so much spotlight, he really deserves it!!!! And it looks like hes gonna get more, since hes in the main group along with Deku, Uraraka and Tsuyu. I;m so hyped!!!

Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! That’s one interesting group tbh, Kirishima and Tsuyu’s interactions are always incredibly adorable to watch and seeing Kirishima interact for so long with pure and good people is gonna be hard on my heart (I mean, you know I’m 100% a bakusquad fan but they’re all at least in part assholes and Kiri fits with them just right, he can be just like Sero and Kaminari and I love it, but then his interactions with Amajiki have been so pure can you imagine an arc filled with that I’m already crying)

I just hope my other faves won’t completely disappear through this arc haha sigh

Anon said: So which Kacchan quote do you like best “Die your bacteria fucks, dieee!” or “BRING YOUR DAMN TRASH TO ME”?

LMAO SORRY ANON BUT MY FAVE GOTTA BE

WHAT A GODDAMN DISASTER THIS BOY IS

Keep reading

rick and morty: the rickshank redemption
         sentence starters

spoilers ahead if you have yet to watch this episode! i also kept in a bunch of quotes about the damn szechuan sauce just to make myself laugh.

‘  anyway, that’s how i escaped from space prison.  ’
‘  i just got my sixth promotion this week and i still don’t know what i do!  ’
‘  it’s great to have you back no matter where we are, but wouldn’t you like to go home?  ’
‘  get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself twelve times.  ’
‘  you cheap insect fucks didn’t think i was worth your best equipment?  ’
‘  relaxed, enough?  ’
‘  he is the smartest man in the universe.  ’
‘  well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.  ’
‘  you’ve hardly touched your pills.  ’
‘  stop saying his name. he abandoned us!  ’
‘  horses live longer than tortoises now. is that what you want?  ’
‘  maybe i just want you to care if i run away yelling!  ’
‘  admit it, you’re going crazy cooped up in here.  ’
‘  yeah well, tough titties.  ’
‘  that depends on who breaks first: me or the titty.  ’
‘  if we stay here we’ll die along with all your memories.  ’
‘  oh, that sounds cool. i can get what i want and you can say goodbye.  ’
‘  fine, but i’m driving.  ’
‘  hey, i like being 35. i can rent a car now.  ’
‘  they weaponized the eiffel tower!  ’
‘  no one’s special to him. not even himself.  ’
‘  i’m not right! i was using ghoulish overkill.  ’
‘  we’re going to the day it all began… and ended. the moment that changed everything.  ’
‘  i’d like to get a 10 piece mcnugget and a bunch of the szechuan sauce. like as much as you’re allowed to give me.  ’
‘  in 1998 they had this promotion for the disney film mulan where they created a new sauce for the nuggets called szechuan sauce and it’s DELICIOUS.  ’
‘  wow, this sauce is fucking amazing! you said it was promoting a movie?  ’
‘  i used to wear blue pants.  ’
‘  well, well, well if it isn’t us.  ’
‘  nobody has to know about that. we can put it right back and pretend we never saw it.  ’
‘  i’ll make it up as i go.  ’
‘  oh my god… i have that exact same top!  ’
‘  that’s my sister. this used to be my home.  ’
‘  imagine doing anything you want and hopping to a timeline where you never did it.  ’
‘  excuse me? we don’t pass on this. who do you think you are?  ’
‘  i heard sci-fi noises. did you make a breakthrough?  ’
‘  i only wanted to stop by here for a quick ‘i told you so.’  ’
‘  why would you do that? what is the matter with you people?  ’
‘  i’ve got it… i’ve fucking got it!!!  ’
‘  awesome possum!  ’
‘  yeah, that’s the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost.  ’
‘  you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story.  ’
‘  lovely. not only is my plan screwed up, i also forgot how to improvise!  ’
‘  he’s a spy, blow him up.  ’
‘  i’m gonna go take a shit.  ’
‘  he’s not a lawyer. we just keep him here because he’s fun.  ’
‘  i say: fuck you.  ’
‘  you killed him because you were jealous of him. that’s pretty obvious.  ’
‘  what? no! i don’t want to see your pog collection.  ’
‘  let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard.  ’
‘  he’s not a villain, but he shouldn’t be your hero. he’s more like a demon or… a super fucked up god.  ’
‘  i know you’re too stupid to get this, but you’re really fucking this up right now.  ’
‘  i wasn’t going to let her die, you fucking moron!  ’
‘  you’re a serious fucking idiot. you basically killed us all!  ’
‘  who’s stupid now, bitch?  ’
‘  i’m almost proud.  ’
‘  look, i’m not proud to share this, but the truth is i just kept crawling and it kept working.  ’
‘  guess who dismantled the government?  ’
‘  please don’t leave me again.  ’
‘  is there any light beer left? it’s insane what you miss in prison.  ’
‘  no, you’re right. where’s the vodka?  ’
‘  i’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. i hope i had nothing to do with that.  ’
‘  i better tend to him before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out.  ’
‘  but never him. you wanna know why? because he crossed me. ’
‘  take it easy – that’s dark!  ’
‘  welcome to the darkest year of our adventures!  ’
‘  if you tell them i said any of this, i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because i’m a hero and now you’re gonna have to go do whatever i say – forever!  ’
‘  and i’ll go out and i’ll find more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce because that’s what this is all about – that’s my one-armed man.  ’
‘  i’m not driven by avenging my dead family, that was fake.  ’
‘  i’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce. i want that mulan mcnugget sauce! ’
‘  that’s my series arc. if it takes nine seasons!  ’
‘  i want my mcnugget dipping sauce. szechuan sauce!  ’
‘  that’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end!  ’
‘  what are you talking about?  ’
‘  nine more seasons. nine more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce or 97 more years!  ’
‘  fine. fuck it. who cares?  ’

[Miraculous Ladybug]: Dressed to Kill

i….am procrastinating this paper super hard….so i started a one-shot series. isn’t that fun?

bit of a T rating, but if you don’t mind that, enjoy :)

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: Dressed to Kill

Summary: “You got a fucking manicure before a job?”

Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”

Chlonette Assassins AU


1. Flirting on the Job


“You got a fucking manicure before a job?”

Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”

Marinette rolled her eyes and peeked around the corner, staring at the two guards stationed at the door at the other end of the courtyard. She finished screwing her suppressor onto her own gun and checked her pockets for her compression gloves. “So if some asshole has me in a chokehold, you’re not going to punch him in the face because you have to protect your goddamn gel manicure?”

“I never said that,” Chloe groaned. “Obviously I’d clock him straight in the nose, but I will expect you to pay for my replacement manicure since you shouldn’t be getting yourself into that situation in the first place.”

“Oh nice.”

“I’m a single woman, I deserve to pamper myself, sue me.”

Marinette fastened the velcro of her gloves and counted the knives she had strapped to her thigh. “That’s your own fault. I offered to sleep with you literally last week and you said no.” She checked her watch. “Shifts change in 3 minutes.”

“Roger,” Chloe replied automatically. “Also, fuck you, you told me you’d sleep with me because, and I quote, you found my dry spell ‘cripplingly pathetic.’”

“I mean, it is. Offer still stands,” Marinette winked. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Clarke searching on craigslist for a husband and finds Bellamy


Special thanks to @ponyregrets and @reblogginhood for coming through with some details.  Also on ao3.


MARRY MY BEST FRIEND HE’S GREAT!!!  Clarke set down her beer and snorted.  A friday night spent with a six pack and Best of Craigslist wasn’t exactly living her best life, but it was all she felt like doing after the week she’d had at the hospital.  She clicked the link and moved her laptop to balance more comfortably on her knees.

MY BEST FRIEND IS AWESOME AND DESERVES TO BE MARRIED!!  

He’s crazy smart and kind of a grump but that’s only because he loves his friends and we’re a bunch of idiots.  He’s pan and really hot, but he’d kill me if I posted a picture of his face so here’s a picture of his chest instead:

Clarke tipped her head to the side and considered the proffered torso while she took a long swig of beer.  He was wearing a grey Arkadia University t-shirt that looked soft and worn, and he did have nice, broad shoulders that stretched the shirt pleasantly.  It looked like he had one arm around someone— a male someone— and the other one held a bottle of the same beer she was drinking.  

She scrolled on.

I’m getting married to my fiance soon and I figured we should just make it a double wedding because he deserves to be as happy as we are and he hasn’t had a boyfriend or girlfriend in too long.  All you gotta do is show up and marry my best friend!!!

You:

Guy, gal, or nonbinary pal

Patience with long, rambling historical anecdotes

Sense of humor because you’re really underestimating how many long, rambling historical anecdotes you’re gonna hear

I cannot emphasize enough how many long, rambling historical anecdotes he has

He hates going out so either you should be a shut-in too or maybe you should be the sort of person who can get him out of the house (I think the first one but my fiance says the second one is best idk use your best judgment there)

Burning hatred of the patriarchy

Keep reading

Aaron’s Top 5: Pokémon Villains

Originally posted by djsockpuppet

Pokémon evil teams. They range from the mafia to eco terrorist to teenagers who couldn’t even steal a bus stop. But no matter the generation, one thing that can be said about the teams, is that they’re entertaining through their simplicity. For the most part. While the teams do have an easy to follow motive and plan (exceptions vary), there’s a lot more depth to these sprites than you may think. Just because the character has 10 facial expressions, doesn’t mean there was only 10 minutes spent writing them. Evil doesn’t have to be complicated. Hell, some of these people, I wouldn’t even classify as evil. They still need to go to jail for what they did though.

Just how evil are they? Well, let’s take a look.

Originally posted by deadpoolian

Guys, Gals, & Non Binary Pals. This is Animated Aaron’s Top 5 Pokémon Villains!

5: Team Plasma

Originally posted by x-mozillafennekin

It’s Monty Pythons flying circus!

I wasn’t really into the designs for the grunts at first. But then I realized, it actually works better than some of the designs for the villain teams. Plasma wants to ‘liberate’ Pokémon from the ‘oppressors’ known as trainers. They see themselves as the, well, knights in shining armor standing for what is right! Might as well buy your own hype and dress the part.

Pokémon has always had some sort of self-aware humor or comment at some point in the adventure, but this was the first time it was in the player’s face throughout. The idea of the series is to show Pokémon respect and be nice to others. The whole world shares one sky. So…what’s with the tournaments where we force magical animals into legalized dog-fights? Yeah, you’re really showing the love there. Now, of course, the gen 5 games try and play it down the middle showing the pros and cons introducing a clever debate for the characters to have. It’s a competition and these Pokémon can take the hits. Like how mma fighters get a beer after they go 3 rounds. But you’re still capturing the animals against their will and training them to fight.

Team Plasma was a great challenge for long time Pokémon players. In the sense that they bring attention to an often ignored plot point in the games I mean. They’re still the villains. Meaning, they’re doing something in some kind of way that you (the player) need to stop. It kind of loses its meaning when you’re stopping two plasma grunts from assaulting a Pokémon to get an item from it. Or when they destroy a city to send a message.

This doesn’t bother me too much since it proves going to one extreme isn’t the way to fix another extreme. But…guys…come on.    

4: Aether Foundation

Originally posted by sailorcinnamonroll

You know what’s better than a villain team that thinks two wrongs make a right? A villain team that doesn’t even know they’re the villains. …Well, the ‘grunts’ and the public don’t know anyway.

Aether is basically a wildlife foundation. They take in lost and injured Pokémon nurturing them. At first I figured this was a lie since the opening cut scene is a girl being chased by some employees before escaping with a Pokémon. So obviously they’re bad right? Well, no. Lillie stole that Pokémon from the higher ups. Security is just doing their job.

Meaning, the twist is that the board of directors of the company are the ones up to something. The employees are just that. Employees. They come into work and get paid to make sure the Pokémon are safe. They’re just as surprised as you are when ‘Pokémon from another dimension’ just start showing up. It’s one of the few teams where the ‘evil’ comes 100% from the leader. Lusamine.

So what makes Lusamine ‘evil’? Well, they don’t show it (thank God) but she abused her two children Lillie and Gladion for not being ‘perfect’. Basically, ‘be a doll that I can customize both physically and in personality and I’ll respect you’. She applies this logic onto the Pokémon as well. How? Well in her room are some Pokémon kept frozen in state so that she can ‘love them’. What the hell does that mean? Don’t know. And I think that’s the best part.

This witch is zubat-sh*t crazy and needs to be stopped. She can’t be reasoned with nor was she in the end. She honestly can’t tell that what’s she’s doing and what she’s done is wrong. And I like that. Sometimes you can’t talk ‘the bad guy’ down. It’s good to know why they might be doing something, but that doesn’t take away the fact that they’re hurting someone/something because of their arrogance. Lusamine is conducting illegal experiments as well as ripping apart the fabric of space of time while telling her lower ranked employees, ‘Don’t be late for our Thursday picnic! We’re holding a raffle!’

I wish there was an option to punch her in the face.

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Taehyung Scenario: 11:11.

Request: Hello~ since you did a wonderful job in doing the Starlight inspired Taehyung Scenario, could you also do Taeyeon’s 11:11 inspired Taehyung scenario? Love you guys!!

Genre: Angst / Drama.


-It’s 11:11, let’s make a wish- 

Taehyung would say each and every time he noticed the time. The wish always resulted to be something really corny and cheesy, like you going on secret escapades, doing couple stuff and saying how long you would be together, usually it was forever.

Now it was 11:11, but none of you remembered any of those wishes. He didn’t, as he repeated his words one again.

-I’m tired Y/N, I can’t do it anymore-

You fisted your hands trying to think what to say, trying to control the torrent of feelings those words had occasioned in you. -Why? I mean I… why?- you asked not understanding the reason of him saying this. You had noticed your relationship had turned cold the past two weeks but you thought it was only a moment, just a rough time in a sea of the pure happiness you had pictured with him. 

-Because I can’t-

-But why?- you repeated hearing how your voice wasn’t even. -Did I do something? Did anything happened I…-

Taehyung shook his head, you were on the living room slash dining in your place, he was standing in front of you, just a chair  between of your bodies, but the short distance felt like millions of miles apart, Taehyung sighed and shook his head making his smooth hair bounce a little from side to side. 

-No Y/N, it’s just… we are at a dead point, don’t you see?-

That made you gasp, how he could say that? and what he was calling dead point? So things were hard and for him it was a dead point? Taehyung was such a sensible person, you couldn’t believe he was actually speaking those words.

-What dead point? Just because it has been a bit harder these last few days you want to…-

-It’s not that it has been harder- he interrupted you. -This is it Y/N, I thought you too, I thought you were thinking the same-

So he had been thinking this over? You didn’t want to cry but the tears were there and you didn’t know how to hold them. -Please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to hurt you but…-

-Oh no, of course you didn’t- you spat, the fact that you were crying in front of him making you angry. -How could you? Because you are so nice and gentle-

Taehyung frowned. -I didn’t, I’m just being honest with you, would you prefer someone who doesn’t tell you how he’s feeling?-

-And did you?- you retorted. -You had been thinking about this and you hadn’t said anything, why? You wanted this-

He sighed and shook his head. -It’s not that I wanted it, it happened!-

-How convenient, I…- you turned your head and tried to calm down, but it hurt, your chest, your head, all over it hurt and you weren’t sure how to handle it. -You can go, just don’t pretend you didn’t want to hurt me-

He opened his mouth to say something else but he just groaned and took his jacket that was on the chair, the harsh movement made the chair fall down, startling you more than it should, but even still Taehyung turned his back and he left.

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Unexpected (Part 5)

All of Yoongi’s efforts to swallow his emotions and deal with everything alone start to fall apart.

Warning: angst, smut, domination, submission, dirty talk, oral, fellatio, intercourse and lots of Yoongi being a general ass-hat.  Also, twice as long as the previous sections.
Parts: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8 (final)  8.5 (bonus) 


“Get up already!” Jin shook Yoongi, trying to wake him. “You’ve already slept through breakfast and we need to get going to the studio.  It’s dance practice time.  You’re holding everyone up!”

Yoongi groaned as he labored to get himself out of bed.  He held his head in an attempt to keep his brain from busting through his skull.  He couldn’t remember a time when he was more hungover than right now.  The thought of spending a full day in the studio learning new choreography filled Yoongi with dread.  He was sure this day would not end well.

Jin looked at Yoongi disapprovingly.  “I don’t know what you were thinking getting so drunk last night.  Just hurry up!  Also, take a shower, you smell like shit.”

Yoongi took a quick shower, got dressed and staggered into the van with the rest of the guys to go to the studio.  Yoongi closed his eyes and leaned against the door, he could feel water dripping down his face from his still wet hair but didn’t have the energy to wipe it away.  Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung were sitting in the back seat of the van talking about some movie they watched on tv last night and were quoting lines and laughing about funny scenes.  Hearing them enjoy themselves annoyed Yoongi to no end; he quietly wished that the van door would open up so he could fall into the street to be run over by a passing car.  He was pretty sure death would be more pleasurable than dance practice with these idiots.

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Inked // Taeyong

Pairing: Reader x Taeyong

Word count: 1210

Genre: Fluff

Description: It’s your first time getting a tattoo, and you end up stumbling into a certain someone’s shop…

Y/N’s  POV
You exhaled deeply, clutching the steering wheel tightly, feeling extremely anxious. You were on your way to a small tattoo shop in town, you were going to get your first tattoo, you were obviously quite thrilled, but very nervous at the same time, and you wanted (y/bf’s/n) to be there for moral support, but she was unfortunately busy, but also because she recommended the tattoo shop you were going to, because her boyfriend’s best friend owned it. You had met her boyfriend, Yuta, on quite a few occasions, and you always admired the minimal but meaningful tattoos he had, and whenever you asked about them, he always started telling stories about this Taeyong guy.
~
You finally reached the shop, and as soon as you entered, you started to feel a little nauseous, the place was cute, but everything had a black theme, and music blared in the background over the sound of electric buzzing. You were told by a lady to wait on the black couch at the back of the shop, you went and sat down and randomly started going through your phone, but then noticed how much your hands were shaking. You put it back in your back, and got up to have a look at the art on the walls which you were very intrigued by, there were various drawings and sketches, most of them probably tattoo designs, you stared in awe at how beautiful they were, especially the quote ones.

The abruptly you heard “next please” making you jump slightly, you saw a blurry reflection in the frame, the art was in, and you quickly turned around to see a tall boy, he was wearing all black, his hair was straight and black, even his gloves were black. You were unsure why suddenly your throat went dry, you had to clench on the sides of your hands together to stop them shaking. “Erm okay” you finally managed to let out, and he smiled in response, you followed him into one of the rooms. “Just sit here please” he instructed, you were surprised that his voice was so soft, despite his intimidating appearance. “What’s your name?” he asked whilst changing his gloves, before he turned to face you again.
“y/n, yours?” you barely let out, you were so taken aback by his voice, it was so soft and angelic.

“Taeyong” he smiled, making your eyes dart to meet his,
“Oh” you muttered in response, “You’re Yuta oppa’s friend” you said, in a desperate attempt to ease the tense atmosphere.

“Yeah” he smiled, “You know him?” he asked, moving closer, making your heart race.

“Not exactly, well, he’s erm my friend’s boyfriend” you were struggling to speak, and embarrassed at how you were stuttering; he simply smiled and nodded in response.

“So anyways, what can I do for you?” he sighed, almost in relief?

“Can I have this tattoo please?” you asked giving him the square of card which had one of your ink doodles on it, he examined it, and  you saw a smile appear on his face, and he nodded, “that’s so cute” he remarked, making you blush, you didn’t realise how hard you were biting the inside of your mouth.  

“Where?” he asked, you were so mesmerised by his eyes, and found yourself staring at them.

“Erm just here please” you tapped your wrist, and he nodded and then started getting everything ready.

“Have you had one before?” he asked, and you shook your head making him laugh. “I didn’t think so, but don’t worry it won’t hurt, I promise” he reassured, making you feel a lot better.

He held your wrist, making butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach, and he lately traced the design, before going over it with the needle, the whole way through you couldn’t stop staring at how beautiful his features were, his jawline, his lips, and how his eyes were concentrating so much, but he suddenly looked up and caught you staring at him, making you look down at the completed tattoo quickly, “what do you think?” he asked, putting things back, taking his gloves off.

“Wow, thanks I really like it” you said, still staring at it, proud of yourself for getting your first tattoo.

“No problem, just keep this on for now, and the redness will go soon” he said putting a plaster on it, and you nodded, feeling contempt.

“If there are any problems, please don’t hesitate to contact me” he said handing you one of his cards, which you put hastily in your coat pocket, nodding, getting up. You felt sad that it was over so quickly; you liked talking to Taeyong, and enjoyed his company.

“Bye and thanks” you said slowly walking towards the door, but he followed you out,

“Bye, it was nice seeing you” he said, making you feel your cheeks heat up, all you could do was smile in response, after you had paid, he opened the door for you and waved, you waved back, and as soon as you felt the cool breeze hit you, you sighed feeling a weight lift off your shoulders that you hadn’t even realised was there.

When you got in your car, you held you head in your hands, mentally slapping yourself for how much an idiot you were, you wished you had spoken to him more whilst you had the opportunity, he was probably judging you so hard.
~
That night when you lay in bed talking to (y/bf’s/n), you couldn’t stop smiling, looking alternately at your wrist, and then at the card he had given you, it was obviously black, and you traced his name looking at it.  

~

The next morning when you woke up, you got ready in your casual clothes, and got the clothes you were going to wear for the dinner ready, and then started watching your favourite series on your laptop. But you were abruptly interrupted by your phone ringed, and you groaned before going to answer it, thinking it was (y/bf’s/n).

“Hello?” you chimed.

“Erm hi, y/n?” you heard a familiar voice, startling you, making you sit up straight. It was Taeyong. You were confused at why he had your number, or why he was calling you, but then the memories from yesterday came flooding to your mind, and how you had written your number on the form you filled out at his shop.

“Hi Taeyong” you smiled, reminiscing how he had done your tattoo.

“I just wanted to know if your wrist is okay, you know because it was your first time”

“Yeah it’s perfectly fine, thanks” you smiled looking at your wrist, the plaster was still on it.

“Aah that’s good, that’s all I wanted to know”

“Are you going to Yuta’s dinner” you said quickly, mentally slapping yourself, you just wanted to cut the phone off pretending you hadn’t said it.

“Yeah” he laughed “I am, are you?”

“Yeah..I’ll see you there then” you said picking at the fluff on your blanket, your cheeks were burning once again.

“Yeah see you” he said before cutting it off. You kicked the blanket in embarrassment, but you also felt incredibly nervous for seeing him once again…

Newton’s Third Law (1/1)

Newton’s Third Law

Rating: T

“Who the hell sends a pregnant lady on a scavenger hunt?!”


Henry is the one who shows him.

Emma makes sure Killian has all the pragmatic knowledge of the 21st century (showers, cell phones, google, photographs, the microwave) and fills him in on contemporary culture via Thursday movie nights with her kid, her pirate, and herself bundled up with pizza and Netflix.

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anonymous asked:

Hi! Idk if you do this kinda thing but could you write about if Dan and Matt introduce Neil to the Star Wars movies bc he's never seen them before, and he gets like obsessed with them lmao

Sure thing, anon. I did this in list form. I hope that’s okay? Read more cut bc this got out of hand. Kevin also snuck his way into this a lot. Ha.


  • So, it all starts when Matt gets really sick. His nose is congested and he has a sore throat and he’s been confined to his room bc he’s contagious and Kevin is like you can’t play exy like that so poor matt is kind of just stuck in his room for a few days (top concerns in kevin’s world: get better fast & don’t get the rest of team sick)
  • Neil stops by with Andrew to see how Matt’s doing.
  • Matt takes full advantage of his voice change and as soon as they walk into the room he raises his hand to both Neil and Andrew and in his best Darth Vader impression(which is not very good but he tries) says, “Luke, I am your father.”
  • Neil is confused. “Who’s Luke?? Is Matt okay? Dan we should call Abby, I think he’s hallucinating.”
  • Dan and Matt just look at each other.  Andrew wastes no time in correcting Matt that it’s actually, “No, I am your father. If you’re going to quote something at least do it right.”
  • Dan focuses on Neil and asks if he has ever seen Star Wars and Neil just says no?
  • Cue Dan and Matt in absolute shock at the audacity. They strike a deal with Neil to at least watch the original trilogy. (They persuade him that it will be a good bonding time with the new foxes. He’s reluctant bc movies don’t bring people together but okay.)
  • Neil is not expecting much and is dreading it because this time he can spend playing exy or alone time with Andrew.
  • It turns out Kevin has never watched Star Wars either but at least he’s heard of it. He gets dragged into it(he strikes a deal with the foxes to get them to practice raven drills for three weeks. one for each film.)
  • Neil finds himself rooting for luke.This  farm boy who has been thrust into a whole mess? Luke, who’s aunt and uncle die and he had nothing left in Tattooine so he goes off with obi-wan? And this decision changes his life forever?

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anonymous asked:

My friend and I were stuck on something in the anime that I don't quite recall in the manga. Reiner says "if I had known there were people like this." Or something like that. People like what??? The survey corps? Ackermans? Eren???? Ehhh??? (Connie??? Lol)

This is pure speculation on my part and how I view what he meant, but this is easily debatable so don’t full on quote me here. This is just my interetation of Reiner’s monologue.

DISCLAIMER: This is my personal opinion. In no way am I stating what I say here is canon or completely accurate. if you disagree with my opinion, that’s perfectly fine! Everyone has a different point of view, but if you are going to send me messages trying to argue points of view with me or send me hate messages, do me a favor and please just don’t even bother.

First, he says he’s been surrounded by nothing but idiots for three long years, and on that tip I think he meant the walled people’s ignorance to the bigger picture. They’ve all had their memories wiped and Reiner is aware of this once he goes back to his Warrior self. They know nothing of the real world, so having to keep such large secrets close to his chest on top of realizing they have no clue how severe his struggle or his woes makes him upset because he knows they’ll have no sympathy. He has that harshly confirmed when he tries to get Eren to leave with him, and Bertl, and Eren point blank refuses. Basically implying he wouldn’t just run away with the “Enemies of Humanity”.

The people of the walls do not understand his position and he can’t speak to them about it because they’d kill him. He was forced to cope by himself and as a result, his personality split into two. When he realizes what’s happening to him, he becomes angry and upset with himself and blames the people of the Walls for this occurance. So therefore, they’re idiots to him.

So when you ask what “people” he was speaking of, I think he meant it as a way of referring to all of the Eldians of Paradis as a whole. Because he then goes on to say “We were just stupid kids… We didn’t know anything.” As in, they were all taught that the Eldian people inside the walls were evil children of the Devil. When in fact, they’re all simply people who desire their own freedom, just like them. People who share the same blood and the same curse as them.

Then he says he wouldn’t be such a half-assed piece of shit if he’d never known they existed. Meaning He became a half-assed warrior because he sympathized with those he was meant to kill. He went to Paradis with the full intent of fufilling his mission, but ended up caring for the people inside the walls and taking the role of a soldier to try and cope with his mixed feelings and the henious actions he’d commited as a part of his Warrior duty. He broke himself in two, and he is saying the ignorance of their existence would have been better than knowing the truth and having to cope with it the way he did. 

Then he says it’s too late and that he doesn’t know what’s right anymore and that he has to face consequences for his actions while carrying out his mission as a warrior to the bitter end. Then he chooses to shift and give away their identities to try and take Eren. 

So I believe this was Reiner realizing his personality was broken in two, and trying to understand them both at the same time. Facing the fact that he didn’t actually hate the people he was around in the walls, but also knowing he was supposed to and knowing they’d never forgive him for what he’d done. Knowing his mission as a Warrior, and knowing he had to follow through with it regardless. The way I interpret it is him saying if he’d never gone to walls, and never accepted the mission of destroying Paradis; he wouldn’t have become so mentally broken and he wouldn’t have lost himself in his two personas. His life would have been better in the ignorance of still believing they were evil people who deserved the death he helped reign on them instead of breaking himself in two to cope with the reality that some part of him cares for the people he was keeping secrets from, and actively killing.

“Watch Me”

Teaser: “Malfoy, give up. I’m not looking for a relationship. Especially not one with the likes of you.” 

“Please, love,” he drawled. “If anyone could break your no relationship mantra, it would be me.”

“I’d love to see you make that happen.”

“Just watch me.”

⇢ Basically, Malfoy is in for one hell of a ride.
Requested by @powerpuff-bucky.

“What do you say, Y/L/N? Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to Hogsmeade this Saturday?”

You whirled around to see Draco Malfoy lazily striding toward you. Now, you’ve had him in a few of your classes and you’ve exchanged brief conversations, but lately your interaction level seemed to increase. As did your annoyance level. “Pardon?”

“I didn’t stutter, correct? I said Hogsmeade. How about it?”

“Hogsmeade sounds great.” You smiled wryly. “Hogsmeade with you? Well, that’s a different story.”

You made your way back to your common room as quickly as possible, abruptly ending the short lived conversion. As you entered, you tried to ignore your friend’s what-the-hell-was-that look.

“Oh, please. Don’t give me that look. If I knew what that was about, I would tell you.” You folded your arms and stared blankly at your unfinished assignments. “What the bloody hell is Draco trying to get at? Who asks someone on a date to Hogsmeade when they hardly know the person.”

“Well, Y/N, usually when people go on dates, it’s to get to know each other. Shocking–I know.”

“Funny.” You took a deep breath as you straightened your posture. “Who does Malfoy think he is? It’ll take a lot more than a shout across the field to get a date out of me.” You tilted your chin up. “I have standards.”

You felt a wadded up ball of parchment hit your face. “Whatever you say, Drama Queen.”

+ + +

You drummed your fingers against the table, waiting for Charms to begin. Your Charms lesson fell right after lunch, but you arrived early to ask Professor Flitwick a question about the previous night’s assignment. As you began to zone out, you saw a shadow loom over you.

Lo and behold–it was Draco Malfoy. Behind him, you noticed, stood Blaise with the usual apathetic expression on his face.

“Do you guys need something or are you just here to bask in my presence?”

Even the indifferent Blaise had to snort at that.

“I actually have a question to ask you about yesterday’s homework assignment, but your presence is definitely a bonus.”

You looked up at him with an impassive expression. You blinked twice. It was no secret that Malfoy excelled at Charms–as he did with all his other courses–just as it was no secret that you, to put it lightly, found it difficult. It was a wonder how you passed your O.W.L. level Charms and an even bigger mystery as to why you continued on with the N.E.W.T. level.

“Do you remember the name of the water-making spell? I seem to have forgotten.”

Your expression turned to one of confusion. “That’s the question you need help with?”

“Yes,” Draco affirmed as Professor Flitwick announced the that beginning of class started and everyone should get to their seats.

“Oh…I’m actually not sure. Piscifors, maybe?” you said without any real thought.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Blaise rub his temples. You could practically see the word “idiot” forming in his mind. However, you saw the side of Draco’s mouth quirk upward.

Well, you never did say you were good at Charms.

At the end of the lesson, Draco approached you as you made your way out of the door.

“Aguamenti,” he said.

“Pardon?”

“Piscifors is a Transfiguration spell that transforms the target into a fish, mind you. Aguamenti is the spell to make water. It can actually also be classified as a conjuration.”

You crossed your arms and turned your head slightly toward him. “Needed help on your homework, my arse.”

“I never said I needed help. I simply said I had a question. But it was a great excuse to talk to you, yes?”

“No,” you deadpanned, ending the conversation.

“So, Hogsmeade?” Draco asked as you started to head a different direction.

“Really, Draco? It’s like you’re asking for another rejection.”

He smiled smugly, ignoring your remark. “I know you will go on a date with me, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes. “Malfoy, give up. I’m not looking for a relationship. Especially not one with the likes of you.”

“Please, love,” he drawled. “If anyone could break your no relationship mantra, it would be me.”

“I’d love to see you make that happen.”

He smiled a knowing smile that could only mean no good. “Just watch me.”

+ + +

Of course, by the time the weekend trip rolled around, you still had no intentions of accompanying Malfoy. You went with a couple of friends from your house instead.

“I scared him away, do you reckon? Couldn’t handle anymore rejections?” you mused as you walked with your friends down High Street.

One of them shook their heads. “It is Draco Malfoy we’re talking about, right? There’s no way he would give up so easily–or give up at all.”

You frowned. “I hate to admit it, but you’re probably right. Who knows where the next random encounter with him will be,” you said, signaling air quotes around the word ‘random.’

“Let’s not talk about Draco. Right now, we enjoy Hogsmeade. Butterbeer anyone?”

“Must you ask?” you laughed. “Also, I’ve been craving sweets from Honeydukes lately.”

With murmurs of agreement, you continued down the street, trying to push the thoughts of Malfoy to the back of your mind.

+ + +

As the weekend came to an end, you decided to head over to the library to try to complete your assignments before it Monday. As you stared at your Numerology and Grammatica textbook for Advanced Arithmancy Studies, you began to drift off. Holding off on Arithmancy homework until late at night wasn’t your brightest idea.

You jolted upright at a tap on your shoulder. “Hmm?” you mumbled, turning around in your seat. “Oh. It’s only you.”

“Only me? I would show more gratitude to someone who just saved you from Madam Pince’s wrath. Falling asleep in the library, darling, really? She would have hexed you out of here.”

“My hero. What would I have done without you?” You rolled your eyes, but felt a small smile playing on your lips. “Were you just here to save the damsel in distress or did you actually need something?”

His usual cocky expression dwindled down as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I…”

Your raised an eyebrow at him.

“I overheard you Saturday.”

“Pardon?”

“At Hogsmeade. You said you wanted Honeydukes…” Draco trailed off, his sentences quiet and unsure, contrasting with his normally eloquent tone. 

“I did,” you said in confusion. Your eyes searched him and settled on a giant bag he held in one hand. “Malfoy, what the bloody hell is in that thing?”

He cleared his throat in an attempt to regain composure. “It’s for you…“ He handed you the bag and you saw a glimpse of the inside. “I wasn’t sure which your favorite sweet was so I–”

“Bought practically all of them? Draco!” you said with incredulity, but felt the heat spreading across your face. “Are you crazy?”

“Only about you.”

That statement caused you to chuck a chocolate frog at his chest, container and all, just as Madam Pince walked by and yelled at you both to get out, threatening to hex your behinds’.

You ran a safe distance away from the library, attempting to control your breathing, with Draco right next to you, the Honeydukes bag in his hands. Once you made it away from the librarian’s line of fire, you and Draco looked at each other and started to laugh.

“Good going, Malfoy,” you said, shoving him. “I’ve never been chased out of the library before.”

“And you think I have?”

As the adrenaline wore down, you turned your attention back to the bag of sweets. “Draco, you really didn’t have to get me practically every treat in Honeydukes. A single jelly slug would’ve been good enough.”

“You deserve more than just good enough, love.”

You glared at him. “Please don’t make me throw another chocolate frog at you.”

“No need. I’m serious this time.” He set the bag down and straightened his posture. “You’ve had my attention for quite a while now, but your rejections just added fuel to the flame. However– I didn’t think that throughout the chase I’d end up actually taking a liking to you.”

You weren’t sure of what to say to that; all you know was that your cheeks were beginning to redden. Although you didn’t want to admit it, Draco’s constant pestering wore you down. You began to think that maybe dating him wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. In all honesty, it sounded a bit appealing.

He continued, “I was hoping the sweets were enough to help you realize that.”

“It was a major hint, to say the least,” you said once your face cooled down.

There was an awkward pause when neither of you knew what to say, so you simply took a bite of a chocolate frog.

“Well, since you did go completely mad and buy out of the store, you might as well start helping me finish it all.”

Draco let out a strangled laugh. “Sure.”

You caught his downcast eyes. “I never say this, so take note.”

Now it was his turn to give you a confused look.

“You were right,” you murmured. “If any guy could make me willing to be lenient on my no relationship streak, it would be you.” You looked away, finding it hard to swallow your pride. “It is you.”

A grin spread across Draco’s face at your words. ”I told you so.”

“Really? That’s all you have to say to that?”

“I just had to get that out of the way.” His expression sobered. “So, what do you say, Y/L/N? We missed the Hogsmeade trip, but there’s always next time.”

“I mean… We don’t have to wait until the next trip to go on a date, right?”

“Eager much?” he laughed. You stood in each other’s presence as his eyes fluttered down to your lips. Without a moment’s hesitation, Malfoy laid a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Eager much?”

“Me? Of course not. You just had some chocolate on your face.”

“Good. You had me worried there,” you teased. “I was worried it was normal for you to give such pathetic kisses.”

“Please, love, if I actually kissed you, I’d leave you breathless and begging for more.”

“I’d love to see you make that happen.”

And again, Draco smiled a knowing smile that could only mean no good. “Just watch me.”


Okay there, out of character Draco. I don’t know… I just think that Draco is normally cocky and arrogant, but when he has a genuine crush, he starts to get nervous and not as confident and just really wants to impress you and ugh. I don’t know, dude.

Thank you for the support on my previous (and first) oneshot. Hope you enjoy this one as well–despite the cheesiness and all.

Feel free to give feedback or request a oneshot. I think I’ll open the characters to the (young) Marauders and maybe more.

MASTERLIST – mobile / computer

READ BEFORE YOU REQUEST

SEND REQUESTS HERE

I’m going to attempt to recap Duchovny in Boston day (February 22, 2017.) Warning: this could get long and sappy because it’s 3 AM and I’m just brain dumping. Under a cut…

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Are Lemony’s memories of his chilhood incorrect?

“All the Wrong Questions” tells us all about the times young Lemony Snicket got things wrong… except he really didn’t. He was right about Ellington being a liar, about Hangfire being a villain, about the Bombinating Beast being central to his plot. The only parts of the plot he truly got wrong concern Kit and his family in general, and the way they relate to the VFD organization.

But what if Lemony’s misinterpretations extended even further? What if the series hid something even more ominous, more sinister, of which Lemony only got a glimpse?

We will argue (after the cut) that Lemony suffered a form of trauma during his early chilhood, which eventually caused him to exhibit symptoms of False Memory Syndrome (FMS) as a coping mechanism. This syndrom eventually damaged his relationships in later life. Simply put: Lemony’s memories of his family life prior to his VFD apprenticeship are completely wrong.

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