So fair fucking warning I have never in my life written fic before, but I typed this out for @clxrkblake tonight so we could cry and she told me to post it so I’m gonna. Basically this was my ideal, dreamreunion before I saw the finale. (I’ve changed my mind about a few things since we saw the new ship but whatever I’ll still dream of this reunion every night for the next 9 months.)
So anyway, I wrote this up in like 30 minutes and there’s probably lots of typos, but deal with it and then come cry with me. <3
Bellamy sits by the window like he does every year, looking at the planet he used to call home. The glass in his hand is almost empty by now. It almost makes up for the whole thats still in his heart. It almost, for a second makes him forget she isn’t there beside him, that they never got that drink.
He starts the same as he does every year. “I miss you. It’s been 6 years and I still miss you every day. You’d be so proud of everyone. Even Murphy.” He wipes at the tears collecting in his eyes. It never gets easier.
“I just wish… I wish I’d have told you when we had the chance. Timing never really was our strong suit was it? We were too busy keeping 100 kids alive. I wouldn’t trade it for the world though. Not a second of it.” He lifts the empty cup towards the planet thats now her grave. “I still love ya, Princess.”
He knows Raven’s behind him even before she comes to stand next to him. She’s always there for this. “It’s never gonna get easier is it?”
She shakes her head. “No. I still miss Finn every day. But you learn to deal with it. You never get over losing the one you love, their memory just becomes a part of who you are.”
He nods along. He asks her the same question every year. Every year, expecting to get a different answer. Maybe this time she’ll tell him ‘Yeah. The pain fades. One day you can breathe again. One day you’ll be able to look down at the earth below you and not feel that part of you that’s missing. But she never does.
“She’d be so proud of you Bellamy. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I just-” The static of the radio on his hip interrupts his thoughts. “Shit I thought I turned that off.” He fumbles for it, hands made clumsy by the drinks he’s downed. He barely has it out of the holster when he stops himself. Was that? No… It couldn’t be… It was just the alcohol in his system. But then…
“Where - you?"A voice. A voice even after 6 years, after 100 years he would never let himself forget. Her voice.
"Oh my god…” Raven whispers from behind him. “It can’t…”
The radio depends back into static once more before going silent and Bellamy raises his own shocked eyes to meet Ravens. “Clarke?”
Three weeks after the night by the window they make contact. He’s helping Monty check on the algae when he hears Raven screaming his name through the halls.
“I found it.” That’s all it takes for him to follow her to the control room, to the radio, to Clarke.
“This is the station it came through. But we don’t know for sure-”
“Have you tried to make contact yet?”
“No, we were waiting for you.”
“Ok…” He sighs and grabs the radio. This is it. He’s either about to finally find that missing piece of himself or lose it all over again. “This is Ark Ring to… the ground. Is anyone there? Clarke are you there?”
There’s nothing. It feels like hours floating through freezing water waiting to hear something, anything.
“I’m sorry Bell.” Monty puts a hand on his shoulder.
She’s gone. He pushes himself away from the table ready to yell, or cry, or hit something.
Bellamy could tell you he’s never moved that fast in his life, almost falling over himself to get to the radio. “Clarke?”
“Bell-my?” His legs give out, but Murphy leans in to ease his fall.
The day they land on Earth the second time, isn’t anything like the first. It’s raining for one.
Two, he knows what’s waiting for him when he opens the door.
And she is.
Standing at the tree line, looking as beautiful as the day he lost her, is Clarke. Her hair is shorter. And there’s one or two more wrinkles around her eyes when she smiles, but god is she beautiful. Its like they’re not frozen for a moment, both of them standing in shock and amazement that they finally get this.
Then, it’s like time is moving in fast forward and he’s on his feet and hers are carrying her towards him and they crash together like suddenly all their forgotten broken pieces are fitting back together. He holds her so close he thinks he can feel her heartbeat in his chest and she tangles her small hands through his hair and they’re both crying. But for the first time in 6 years, they aren’t tears for grieving. He’s sobbing apologies against her hair and she’s whispering forgiveness against his shoulder and it’s almost like they didn’t lose those 6 years. Like they were kids again, stranded on a dying planet, leaning on each other for survival.
He pulls back first to look at her. He wants to take in every single inch of her face and memorize it because he never wants to have to forget that face again.
“I never gave up.” She laughs. “Not on you.”
He stroked her cheek, through the rain and the tears. “I thought I lost you. For 6 years.”
“You didn’t.” She pulls him close against, resting her forehead against his, and they laugh.
He spent the past 6 years wishing he hadn’t lost her, dreaming that she could come back to him, praying that he could just hold her one more time. And now he get’s all of it. Because she’s alive and in his arms and laughing with him in the rain and he’s never going to lose her again.
TAH DAH! I hope it wasn’t awful! I’m gonna tag a few mutuals so they can share my pain. Love you guys!
Hey there! I know we’re not that close or anything, but I just wanted to say congratulations on graduating top of your class. As a gift, I’m finally revealing who I am per your request 😁 - I mean, it’s almost been an entire year of being anonymous! O_O I’m very proud of you and I’m pretty sure everyone else is too! Sorry I’m not really good with expressing everything with words and that the anonymity is gone now :/ Hope everything goes well in your upcoming years of education, you continue to do well, and hopefully we can be friends! -M Anon