also. i love you internet

“As I reached out my hand to you, hoping that we could both share for show how our tender hearts yearn and mourn and the sweet pink kisses we trade”

“But you looked at me with a tearstained heart and my own understood that your hand would never be reach out towards mine, Not of artificial love but of the fear that nestled a home in your heart” 

“With all that I could summon from the deep corners of my heart, I continued onto the path I set for myself, to put for show what I had been hiding from everyone but you” 

“I continued because this was only a secret love that we could reach, together”

Radio 1 Breakfast Show
27th September 2016
Radio 1 Breakfast Show

The team discuss Harry’s Another Man magazine cover, or as some might say, him singlehandedly saving the magazine industry.

Alternatively titled: ⬜⬜⬜👦🏻👦🏻👦🏻

Any Other Way

Prompt #2: “Are you okay?” “Of course, why?” “You have on two different shoes.”

Alexander and Thomas had been dating for a few months the first time it happened. He had been up all night writing and debating with strangers who disagreed with him on his blog. His birthday was the next day, which didn’t make his mental state any better.

John and Lafayette just wouldn’t stop texting in the group chat. He was trying to write something and had asked them to text in their chat if he wasn’t saying anything, but they just said he could text back later. Finally, he gave in and read the texts.

23:27 ham&cheese, turtle <3er, baguette 
baguette: but what if he does not actually like me? what if he just likes how i look? 
turtle <3er: oh please, it’s herc 
turtle <3er: of course he likes you, he’s liked you for years 
baguette: realy? 
turtle <3er: yes !!!! 
baguette: *really 
baguette: okay so i should go for it? 
baguette: mon petit lion, qu’est-ce que tu penses? 
ham&cheese: i think you should both shut up and let me work for once

It took him a second to realize what he just did.

23:34 ham&cheese, turtle <3er, baguette 
ham&cheese: oh shit wait 
ham&cheese: i didn’t mean that 
ham&cheese: that was extremely rude and mean and i’m sorry oh my gosh 
ham&cheese: i swear i didn’t mean that i’m just having a bad night and i’m trying to get work done and the buzzes were annoying me and i didn’t think and im sorry 
turtle <3er: alex calm down 
turtle <3er: its okay you’re under pressure and we should’ve listened when you told us to switch chats 
ham&cheese: no i shouldn’t have said that no matter wtf was going on 
baguette: alex i am coming over calm down

He almost started crying when he realized what was going on. Instead of being offended, Laf was trying to make him feel better.

23:41 ham&cheese, turtle <3er, baguette 
ham&cheese: nonono im fine stay home 
baguette: are you sure? 
ham&cheese: omg yes im sure 
baguette: well then go see thomas 
baguette: i may have accidentally caused him to worry. 
ham&cheese: what? nvm i’ll just call him

Alex sighed and pulled up Thomas’ number. He clicked the call icon and waited for him to pick up, which took approximately three seconds.

“Alex? Are you okay? Laf said you snapped, but I don’t know what that means.” He could hear the worry that resonated in his boyfriend’s words.

“Thomas, I’m fine. I’m a bit stressed, and I said something rude. That’s it.”

“I swear on… something really important that if you’re not telling the truth, I will come over there and… I don’t know, probably just cuddle you to death.”

A surprised laugh burst out of him. “Cuddle me to death?”

He heard the rustle of clothing that meant he had shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, it could happen.”

“Then it wouldn’t be cuddling; that’s called suffocation.”

“Whatever.” There was a brief pause. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come over? It won’t take very long, probably just-”

“Thomas, go to sleep. I’m fine; I’ll see you at ass-o’clock in the morning.”

“You too. I…”

After a second, Alex prompted, “Thomas?’

“What? Oh, nevermind. Happy early birthday, see you tomorrow.”

For a long time after Thomas hung up, he just sat there.

23:52 ham&cheese, turtle <3er, baguette
ham&cheese: done. im okay, both of you can go to sleep now

Alex went to sleep before his friends responded.

The next day, he found himself even more antsy than the day before. He was jotting ideas down all through breakfast (a Nutri-Grain bar and Diet Coke) and got so distracted writing that he was almost late leaving. After changing in about a minute, he ran down to his car and speeded to work.

Thankfully, his way to school wasn’t blocked by traffic or pedestrians. He managed to make it in early enough to visit his boyfriend. On his way to his own room, he was intercepted by the man himself.

“Alex! Hey, Alex!” He whirled around, smiling when he saw who it was.

“Hey! I was gonna come see you after I put up my stuff.”

Thomas caught up to him. “Happy birthday babe! Now I can come see you. What’s up?”

The small talk continued into his classroom. They had cleaned up some of the cubbies and gone through the movie collection when John appeared in the doorway.

“Oh. Hey, Jefferson.” Alex looked up and saw his best friend. “I can come back later if-”

“Nah dude, what’s up?” When John didn’t immediately answer, he walked over and closed the door behind them.

“I was just checking to make sure you’re really okay. Last night was weird, and you didn’t answer our texts.”

Alex tilted his head, getting out his phone. “Sorry, what texts?” Sure, enough, Lafayette and John had texted him.

23:56 ham&cheese, turtle <3er, baguette 
baguette: are you sure? i can still come over 
turtle <3er: yeah, we can just have a movie marathon or something 
turtle <3er: i mean we have work tomorrow, but when has that ever stopped us 
baguette: alexander? are you okay? 
turtle <3er: alex? 
turtle <3er: he’s probably just asleep 
baguette: peut-être, he didn’t answer my call

“Oh! Sorry. I was rushed this morning and forgot to check my texts.”

6:59 ham&cheese, turtle <3er, baguette 
ham&cheese: sorry, didn’t see these. im good !!

He looked up from his phone and smiled. “Well, I have some last minute things to do before school starts, so I gotta go.”

“Dude, school starts at 8! I didn’t know you were referring to Jefferson as a thing now!” John said with mock surprise.

After gasping and sputtering, Alex pushed his friend into his own room.

“Go organize plants or something. I’m gonna try and put the image of my students walking in on us out of my head.”

John laughed as he was manhandled into his room. “Please, keep the birthday sex to a minimum; there are children!”

Rolling his eyes, he responded, “Please, we aren’t idiots. Also, you’re one to talk, Mr. I-dropped-my-napkin-and-couldn’t-find-it-for-5-minutes.”

“One time!” They laughed for a few seconds before john’s face got serious. “Okay, but seriously, you are okay right? I mean, I know how you feel about your birthday, but are you good right now?”

Alexander took a moment to calm himself from being treated like a child. “I’m okay. Seriously, if I’m not I’ll get you to watch the kids for a few minutes.”

“Would me telling you to go home change your mind?”

“What do you think?” They glared at each other for a few seconds before John sighed and put a hand over his eyes.

“Go home Alex.”

He scoffed and walked back into his room, already back to the essay he was putting together at breakfast. As a result, he barely noted Thomas looking at him oddly.

“Alex, are you okay?”

“Course, why?”

“Um… you’re wearing two different shoes.”

Alex’s eyes shot to his feet before groaning. The shoes looked similar at first glance, but one was brown and the other was black. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just a busy morning.”

“Are you sure? Laf was telling me last night about-”

“I said I’m fine, can we not just drop it? Nothing is wrong!” He didn’t notice his eyes were closed until he felt Thomas touch his face.

He opened them to see nothing but worry in his boyfriend’s eyes. “Alex, I think you should take the day off. If you get like this with your kids, it won’t turn out well.”

“That’s not-”


After a moment, he sighed. “I hate my birthday.”

Jefferson looked at him oddly. “Pardon?”

“I already have, like, five mother hens constantly freaking out over my health. On my birthday, suddenly everyone needs to tell me that I look too tired or that I should take the day off. I’m still not used to all these people caring about me, and it makes me uncomfortable sometimes.”

His boyfriend looked at him and took his hand. “I’m not trying to be overbearing. I’m not trying to annoy you or shield you. I just…” he raked a hand through his own hair, “well, I guess now is as good a time as any. Alex, I think I love you.”

Alex stood in shock for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around Thomas.

“Fine, I’ll go home,” he mumbled into his shirt. “But I’m texting you all day as retribution.”

Thomas smiled and dropped a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Trying to beat the weekend rush of wank that I know is coming

by posting a thing I wrote, but AO3 is having issues.  C’mon, AO3, I have adulting to do before high schools across North America let out and the flood of angry, hormonal children feel the need to misuse their family data plans by abusing strangers over the internet.

(Also, AO3, I love you.  When I die, I’m having it put in my obit that I don’t want flowers, just donations to you and Wikipedia.  Provided they still exist.)

ETA: Apparently it went through without telling me.  I hope.  Either way, there is fic.


  • when your family asks you what your “plans are for the future”
  • when the kid you’re babysitting looks up at you because they’ve killed their pet fish by accident and they’re so sure you know how to make it better while your whole brain is like I DON’T KNOW, I’M NOT ADULT ENOUGH FOR THIS, I NEED A MORE ADULT ADULT, A LEVELED-UP ADULT
  • when it is a very quiet monday and your coffee is warm and the whole world is big and kind of fucked up but at least as full of good things as bad things
  • when you’re idly fantasizing about your own life as a coffeeshop AU in which you are the charming coffee shop troubadour who catches the eye of, for example, a 6'7" lumberjack who works as a volunteer veterinarian in his free time
  • i mean, your mileage may vary with 6'7" lumberjack veterinarians, but you can go ahead and fill in that madlibs blank space with the coffee AU Person B of your choice
!! Christmas !!

if you reblog / like / reply this post I’ll send you a Christmas letter in your tumblr mail any time from now till Christmas where I am! I might even draw a couple cards if you have submissions open!

so a couple lovelies( @wynters-deathly-grin and @disenchantedxwonderland ) have done this and i thought id join in!! 

tysm to @iaintkissingnofrog @uh-im-spooky-i-guess @emmy-chan-8 and @wynters-deathly-grin for being so amazing and lovely!! also theres a fair few that i havent really talked to but @skyhalsted @canadiangymnastgirl @b1edictej and @just-sitting-on-the-internet are also amazing and i love you all so so much xx honestly i am so grateful for every last follower i have youre all brilliant and thank you so much for putting up with all my bullshit ^^ xx

(also im 10 away from 1.3k and im so excited idk why lmao ty x)