also. i am very drunk

anonymous asked:

Does your username come from something? I like it a lot!

Hi lovely!

It’s a reference to the ‘Bridal Chamber’ sacrament practiced by many Gnostic traditions. Traditionally it is described as the meeting of the feminine and masculine energies in one…but I basically say ‘fuck that’.

I’m tired of defining what qualities are ‘male’ and which are 'female’. I’m tired of having to follow heteronormative language in my religion. Most Gnostic scriptures were written by Greeks, some of whom believed the souls of women were weaker than those of men. That it was the male 'Logos’ that needed the rescue the fallen, female 'Sophia’. Modern day Gnostic schools, while not being as blatant in their sexism, still follow rather heteronormative traditions of such stories as Mary Magdalene being a fallen, disgraced and lost little girl until she finds her 'everything’ in hubby and teacher Yeshua. Sure she’s a 'Co-Christ’ and his female opposite yet still not 'equal’ to him. And for us to be one with God we apparently need to marry our feminine souls to the masculine 'Christ’ to be uplifted…Yeah, screw that.

I’m a gay woman. I want to be able to relate to God in my own personal way.

I am a daughter of the Mother.

I am a sister of the Daughter.

And I am a bride of the Holy Lady Spirit.

(I am also very, very drunk right now so excuse any harshness or typos with this reply!)

I have a genuine drug and alcohol dependency problem and I hate admitting it bc it’s fucking embarrassing but I need to get it together sooner rather than later. For the past 2 months, almost every single morning I wake up and drink a beer and smoke a bowl, at the very least. I also am always drunk and high at my night shifts at work and so are most of my coworkers so it’s hard to not do it around them. On top of it I’m on probation so I’m especially not supposed to be acting this way. I’m not happy where I’m at in my life right now, I don’t like how I’m doing in school and I have totally been letting this shitty boy control my life which is like my cardinal rule to not let happen. I like to consider myself an independent/strong spirit but I’m having the hardest time getting the jump start to change my habits right now. I’m so busy all the time so I just feel stuck and very unfulfilled and like I’m just treading water but starting to drown a little. I feel like a loser. Idk what to do and I need help but not sure where to find it