also-going-to-write-that-paper-for-reals-now

Okay so

- I got mad fucked up last night. And like real early too. But I guess that helped bc now it’s only like 10 and i feel somewhat human

- but yeah last night was so lovely and funny. It was most of my friends from freshman year all together dressed up as 1D and we got so trashed. It was 🙌

- but now I have to think about ~real world~ things like the paper I have due on Friday that I have no idea how to write and this midterm on Thursday for the class I’m so confused in

- and I also need to figure out how to withdraw from a class and just get that out of the way

- but I’m thinking about emailing my professor (or just going to her office hours tomorrow) to be like “yo. My life is falling apart. I really can’t concentrate on this paper. Also can you explain how to write this paper. Also is there a way you could let me turn it in late”. But I’ve never asked for an extension before on a paper so idk how you would even do that

- also my parents texted me last night and said they were gonna come down here instead of having me drive up in the snow and like its good, I still get to see them. But now this means that I can’t cry in the safety of my own home. And tbh I’ll probably end up crying in the middle of chili’s bc that’s where we always go. So that’s kinda lame

- also so I might have drunk snapchatted CPG last night and I’m really embarrassed and I followed her on Instagram too and idk thinking about her still gives me butterflies but as we all know, my life is hell right now so I shouldn’t be trying to do anything with feelings

Sorry for being inactive these days, but real live keeps all my focus right now. i’m sick (again) and i’m also trying my best to hold all those strings together and not to break apart. i’m trying to fix that huge mess that my life actually is, but there is so much stuff to do and papers to write, and also stuff i can’t do anything about. having to sit around and go on with life while waiting for good news everyday and no influence on the situation really bugs me. i also had a few breakdowns this week, but at least my sore throat got me to move one exam to the end of march, until after all those other due dates.