also me: but what if i made a trashy video instead ???

youtube

i don’t know how this happened but it did.

Yoongi Scenario: Spoiled Baby.

Request: Hi girls😊 I want to request a scenario of our min yoongi where y/n is jealous after she sees a mv of bts where yoongi is rapping to a girl and when yoongi goes to visit her and ask for her opinion they have a little fight? Fluff ending please

Genre: Romance.


You were waiting in front of your laptop, seeing the youtube page and the hour, refreshing and wondering when would the music video be out. Remembering you could actually watch it on your TV you went for that, the bigger the screen the better, as any other Army you were waiting for the new BTS music video to be out and you couldn’t wait. Yoongi had been looking so extra hot lately you knew that music video was going to be fire.

You giggled to yourself thinking about it, Yoongi was so handsome, you didn’t go around telling him all the time but you loved your boyfriend to pieces and for you he was the most attractive man there was.
The music video started and you squealed clapping watching the Big Hit intro and it came, this concept you were loving so much, for this one they had gone for a bad boy image mixed with the classiness of wealthy powerful men and each of them were pulling it off perfectly.

Yoongi was wearing all black which was the look that was as godly as it was sinful, you were afraid the stylists were going to go crazy with he clothes but they had stuck with these clothes and you were sending your appreciation to them and all holly beings.

The music was amazing as well, hype and a bit dark and the song had the right amount of sexiness, so much they even include a girl.
You nodded watching her, they had chosen well, she was really pretty and was dressed sexy but not trashy, it was all good until the scene changed to an alley in which was only her and Yoongi.

It was Yoongi solo part and as expected he was putting to work all his tongue technology that if it was true turned you on, you didn’t enjoy seeing so close to another girl. The way he rapped to her was insinuating, the way his body leaned to hers like demonstrating interest and sexual desire, the attraction between them making the scene and the rap be more intense, it got you distracted from the mv itself as something inside of you was shot. A sensation that started in your stomach and brain and then you felt everywhere, you wanted that girl out of the picture and Yoongi as far away from her as possible. It was stupid since you knew this was just the mv, acting, but then you couldn’t help it, seeing him with another girl was hard. And then you frowned, Yoongi was a terrible actor, could it be that some of this attraction was real?

The music video ended, it had been good but all you could think was of that scene and the hours of filming, they practicing.

-I’ll watch again- you mumbled to your self seeing the video again which only made you angrier. Yoongi hadn’t mentioned this little detail with the girl, why was he hiding it?

You frowned and watched your phone, the last thing he had said was that they were going to be at the company doing the live pre show, then they would watch the video and film reaction and do some practice of the choreography. Then he was supposed to come to your apartment to have a rather late dinner together.

You inhaled sharply telling yourself to calm down and wait, instead of starting to recriminate over the phone like you wanted to do. But you knew it was best to do it in person, you wanted to see his face when you brought the issue over, Yoongi had some explaining to do.

Keep reading

How to Fake a Marriage (chapter 4)

(AO3) (FF.net)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10



Marinette was more than a little bit nervous as she stood with Adrien on the sidewalk in front of Rosalie Fashions as they waited for Mr. Agreste and Nathalie to arrive. She could feel Tikki giving her encouraging pats to her side through the purse that hung at her hip. Adrien had told her that she didn’t need to be out here, but she was hoping that maybe having someone else present would make Mr. Agreste tone down his anger.

It was a long-shot hope, but she was Lady Luck.

“I’m sure Nathalie will be on our side,” Adrien said, squeezing Marinette’s hand. “She’s helped me out a lot before. She was the one who talked my father into letting me go to public school back in collège, and I’m fairly certain that she was the one who talked my father into paying for this round of university.” Adrien grinned before wincing and adding “Of course, that might be gone now. I don’t know. Hopefully not, but I wouldn’t be terribly surprised.”

They fell silent as a cab rounded the corner and sped up the block towards them. It screeched to a stop in front of them, and Gabriel Agreste unfolded himself from the backseat with a scowl. They could see Nathalie passing some cash forward to the cabbie before she got out as well and rounded the car to pull their bags from the trunk. She crossed the street as the cab zipped off.

As soon as Gabriel laid eyes on Marinette, his scowl deepened. Marinette couldn’t help but shrink back a bit, edging a little behind Adrien. It was starting to look like her presence would just make things worse, not better. Perhaps she should have anticipated that. He probably blamed her for giving Adrien the idea of a fake wedding, even though it had been entirely Adrien’s idea and Marinette had (very briefly) tried to dissuade him.

Keep reading

Heat

A/N: Hello everyone! This is a ‘lil scenario I made for my wonderful friend and co-admin Emp  for their (extremely late) birthday! I really hope you enjoy! (This is also posted on my private blog so there’s no stealing :D )

Genre: Angst/fluff

Word Count: 3,549

Leaning back in the squeaky dining room chair, your glance shifted from the empty glass in your hand to the unopened bottle of wine on the table. You absentmindedly looked at your phone to check the time again, even though you knew it was way too late to expect anything. The snaps that the guys sent you even proved it; Yoongi wasn’t there and too busy working on the studio. That always seemed to be the excuse with him. You were always understanding of this, knowing music and rap were his passions. However, a part of you hoped that he could make the exception to be with you for your birthday. The last thing you heard from him was a text saying he couldn’t wait to see you when he came home. That was two nights ago. There was no mention of your birthday nor when he would actually come home. You knew that Yoongi wasn’t the best at articulating himself, especially through text, and your overanalyzing of it was petty, but you couldn’t ignore the heavy weight on your heart.

The sound of blasting music next door shook you from your thoughts. That was the third time in the past hour that they turned it up only to be brought back down before you could type out a text asking them to stop. You turned your focus to the wine, reached for it without hesitation and used your popper to screw out the cork. You closed your eyes for a moment as sweet aroma of red wine eased your mind. Smiling to yourself, you watched your glass fill up with the poison meant to distract you from your feelings. You slowly brought the glass up to your lips and took a generous sip. The burn in your throat was minimal, but you were itching for more.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi! I got this bottle to keep me company tonight,” you announced to your empty apartment, holding up the glass and bottle.


Soon enough one glass became five and you found yourself on the couch, stripped of your cocktail dress and heels into one of Yoongi’s shirts and a pair of sweatpants. Despite not looking in the mirror, you knew you were a mess with your makeup smudged and hair frizzy and out of place. Sighing deeply, you watched one of the trashy Lifetime movies that were playing on your TV until you fell asleep.

You were woken by, yet again, the sounds of your neighbors having a far better night (more precisely, early morning) than you. All of your sadness and anger at Yoongi came flooding back and soon enough, your slippers were on and you were out the door. The wine that once dulled your emotions was out of your system by then, and you were ready to take it all out on your neighbors.

Your apartment was at the far end of the hallway so you felt bad for the tenants living closer that probably didn’t get any sleep at all. You slammed your door shut and once you began shuffling angrily down the hallway, you notice the music get louder. You felt your head begin to spin, looking left and right at each door, focused on keeping an ear out for the source of the music. Reaching the end of the hallway, you realized that the music became even louder towards the stairs. So that cleared anyone on your floor of blame. You hung your head, feeling too tired to climb the stairs, but you summoned the strength to do so.

It felt as if each step up the creaky stairs was another notch turned up on the volume of whatever speaker was playing that incessant music. There were five floors to your apartment building and you lived on the second, but you hadn’t even noticed you climbed so much until you reached the door to the roof. You were too busy being distracted by the music that had started to become clearer to you. Being able to pick out some lyrics and melodies, the current song that played was the one you and Hoseok drunkenly danced to at Seokjin’s Christmas party last year. You remember being sober the next day and begging Yoongi to delete the video he took of the whole shitshow, but you believe he still saved it to his computer somewhere. The corners of your mouth perked up at the memory, but were forced back down when you remembered why you were here in the first place.

You were angry. Without Yoongi. Alone. On your birthday.

Not giving yourself time to question why someone would be blasting music out on your small apartment roof at 3am, you turn the small door handle and try to push open the ancient door. With a little extra effort, you were able to shove it far enough to squeeze yourself through. You expected to be enveloped in a crowd of sweaty drunk people with the scents of multiple alcohols filling your senses, but it was quite the opposite. Instead, you focus on a small patio table with the dreaded speaker set on it, along with various snacks, beer and wine scattered about. The convenience store bags they came in lay below them on the ground. The rest of the roof was empty except for two lawn chairs spread out, one of which being occupied. Before you could speak, that person on the lawn chair sat up and stretched their arms. You clenched your fists in annoyance at their lethargy. They slowly stood and walked over to the table and turned down the music to a more pleasant, tolerable in your opinion, volume. Even though the cheap roof bulbs casted some light, the person had their hood up so you couldn’t see what they looked like.

That is, until they turned around and your mouth dropped.

”Took you long enough,” cheekiness showed through as he chuckled to himself. Though it being a trait you shared with him, right now it just fueled your anger even more 

You found yourself walking towards him, preparing the angry and hurt rant you’ve been fueling since the start of the day. Most likely recognizing that look™, he knew he had to start explaining before things got worse.

“Okay, you have the right to be angry at me, but here me out,” he put his hands up in front of him, so you paused just a few feet away.

You had no idea why you were allowing him this chance since he really didn’t deserve it for playing this game with you the whole night, but you still waited for him to continue.

“I had this whole plan to deck out the whole roof in lights and balloons with your favorite takeout and drinks. I had called the caterers and decorators, but because of the storm that was said to start tonight, they all cancelled on me so I panicked,” he started to pace as he gave his explanation, his frustration clear by this and his tense expression. Normally Yoongi was able to keep his composure under pressure, but something was different this time.

“So while I ran out to make some up some excuse of a party, I left the damn speaker on. The thing is already broken with its volume always going up and down depending on the bass of the song. I went to so many fucking stores and you have no idea how many of them are too pussy to stay open during a fucking storm, which actually didn’t even end up happening! Now all I have is this cheap shit and some old fold out chairs from Namjoon’s place.” The anger that had been weighing down your heart was completely replaced by something just as warm, but much kinder. You cut him off by closing the gap between you in a tight hug.

Your embrace was heated, both of you radiating off so much emotion, but the two of you still held each other close. Not normally the crying type, you felt tears prick at your eyes. You let them soak onto Yoongi’s jacket as one of his hands ran his fingers through your hair. You began to mumble out words of understandings, but Yoongi abruptly pulled away from you.

“No, I know I just asked for it, but don’t make excuses for me. I even fucking fell asleep from stress on this lawn chair rather than going to find you. I couldn’t stand to face you! I should’ve done all of this earlier, and not last minute like I do everything else that’s not about my damn career,” his downward glance shifted up to lock eyes with you. You saw something you had never seen in Yoongi in all the years you’ve known him.

Shame.

As if on schedule, you feel light drops of rain descend from the sky, but you were far too engrossed in what he was saying to really care.

“I need to change something. Even though you deny it, I know you always feel that you come in second to my music. I fucking hate it because I make it fucking true! Hell, Jungkook even told me you stopped crying for me when I wouldn’t come home when I said I would. Not that I want you to cry, but still he said that you expected it by now! I couldn’t put up with that if I were you,” he takes a shaky breath before continuing, “I’m terrible at change, and I know you know that, but I want to show you that I’m willing to actually work for it.”

He stopped his ramblings and stuck one hand in his pocket. Your breath hitched in your throat and you felt your heart rate pick up more if that were possible. Everything was moving so quickly, you just couldn’t keep up.

“I wasn’t planning on asking you today, but thankfully I was smart enough to plan at least one thing ahead of time,” Yoongi chuckled lowly while kneeling and pulling out a small black box with contents you already knew were inside. 

You didn’t know what to do with yourself so you just pulled your hands to your chest as you waited for him to ask the age old question.

“I promise you everything, even the things both of us know I probably can’t deliver, but that I will try my damnedest to be the best person I can be for you. You have always made me believe in myself and I want to start being the same for you. Y/n, will you marry me?”

This was all too much. By then, the rain had become heavier to where Yoongi had to hold a hand over the opened box and was struggling to look at you through his wet bangs covering his eyes. You knew he was petrified, his heart literally in the box he held out to you. Yoongi wasn’t the type to let himself become vulnerable, especially with his emotions. All that you were feeling seemed suffocating, but in the best way possible. This is the man who can piss you off more than anyone else, but also the man you love far more than that. He is the one who can ease you of any frustration or sadness by just laying down and holding you. Yoongi is your soulmate, that’s just the way it is, but even though there will be issues, you wouldn’t want to face them with anyone else. These sensations were so unusual. The rain was cold, but your skin was steaming. The beating of your heart outmatched the sound of the rain hitting the roof. Your tears blended with the rain and you definitely looked worse than how you did when you woke up, but Yoongi was too busy looking at you like his future. You couldn’t stand to let him wait like that any longer.

You could barely scrape out a yes, but Yoongi heard it. He slammed the box shut, jumped up and pulled you in for a passionate kiss. It was messy and forceful, but all the feelings that had been accumulating the past day, and from your whole relationship, were being released which made it all worth it. You were the one to pull away for a breath of air, lips almost aching.

“Aren’t you gonna,” you paused for being so out of breath, “actually put the ring on me, dummy?”

Yoongi laughed and put a hand to his forehead in embarrassment while pulling the box out again.

“Oh my gosh, not here!” You rolled your eyes while grabbing his arm to pull him under the overhang by the doorway. You were trying to bring the emotions back down to a manageable level. Everything was just a little too overwhelming and you were still trying to ease your racing heart rate. Once you both escaped the rain, you took a deep mutual sigh which led to a small laugh from the two of you. It was hard to describe what you felt while watching him place that ring on your finger. You were surprised to find that the diamonds weren’t giant, as you know Yoongi likes flashy things. Meanwhile you were more on the minimalistic side of things. The band was diamond encrusted, with three slightly larger diamonds that cut into each other in a particular pattern.

“Do you like it? Not to be sentimental, but I made the diamond design like that on purpose. This large one at the bottom, it’s like our foundation, all the shit we’ve been through before today,” he moves from pointing at the bottom diamond to the smaller middle one.

“This one is much smaller because it represents just this day. Today isn’t just special because I proposed to you, it’s because it’s integral to,” he lastly pointed to the largest diamond at the top, “our future.”

Yoongi was waiting for a response, but you were speechless. You opened your mouth to speak, but when you looked up at him, you knew you couldn’t just say that it was beautiful. Like he said, today was integral to your future. You both were going to remember this day during the hard and happy times. So were you going to waste your important moment with just a dumb cliché? You had to speak from the heart, which was just as hard for you to do as it was for Yoongi.

“It’s perfect, Yoongi. Not just because it’s beautiful, but because you put so much thought into it. Wherever we are years from now, no matter how far apart, I’ll be able to look at this ring and remember today. I’ll be able to remember how you could make me go from angry to loving in just one hug. I can look at the diamond arrangement and remember how you feel about me when I know neither of us are good at expressing ourselves. This ring is a symbol of a fresh start for us,” your eyes began to water again as you link arms with him and look out at the rain, “as spouses. And whether you like it or not, you’re my soulmate so no matter what life throws us, I’m not giving up.”

The two of you stood in silence, taking in all that had happened in the last fifteen minutes. You went from having heartache caused by the very same man that you just become engaged to. It’s funny how life works sometimes. You both looked at the patio table, which contents had become completely soaked as the rain picked up even more.

“Looks like I’m going to have to get a new speaker,” Yoongi had to basically yell so you could hear through the downfall.

“Our gourmet dinner seems to be in the same situation,” You nudged his side and threw it right back to him. This was the marriage you were signing up for, one full of sarcasm and banter, but you couldn’t be anymore excited. 

The door was still open so you slipped back inside the building first, Yoongi right behind you. Once both inside, he closed the door and the two of you began your descent down the stairs.

“You know, I still haven’t properly wished you a happy birthday.”

“I know, what a terrible boyfriend you are.”

“I think you mean fiancé.” If there was a contest for sarcasm, there’s no telling who would win between you and Yoongi.

“Ugh, it’s gonna be so hard to get used to that,” you whined just to annoy him.

Your back and forth banter continued until you made it back to your floor and your stomach let you know how long it’s been since you last ate something. You spun around and started walking backwards so you could look at him.

“You know, a girl doesn’t get this dolled up to not go out to eat.” You ran a hand dramatically from your sweatpants up to your hair to show off your glamorous appearance. Yoongi chuckled before unexpectedly grabbing that arm and pulling you close. He snaked both arms around you and down your waist as he leaned by your ear.

“It is your birthday after all, so there’s still one thing we could eat.” He jumped away before you could have the chance to react. He laughed at your reddened face and took this as a victory.

“Hey, I just meant we could have some of the leftover lasagna since I know you love Italian food. Gosh Y/n, get your head out of the gutter,” Yoongi said while laughing.

You weren’t going to go down that easy. Instead of swatting his arm or something, you stayed quiet and started walking back towards your apartment. Yoongi was surprised and paused for a moment before following you. As soon as you were a few feet away from your door, you began to complain,

”I hate how high they keep the thermostat here,” you said while reaching down to pull off your shirt. You had remembered that when you changed into his shirt and sweats, you didn’t take off the lingerie you had worn underneath

“Don’t you think, Yoongi?” You turned back to show him, making the man freeze in place like a little boy. As he became much more distracted by your diversion, you went in for the kill.

“It’s just too bad you lost your keys at the airport,” you said quickly before rushing into your apartment and slamming the door behind you. Clicking the lock, you happily sighed in your victory by leaving Yoongi and his developing problem in the hallway.

“Y/n, I swear to God, you better open this door or-”

“Sorry babe, I can’t hear your threats over the sound of the shower running,” you yelled back as you skipped towards the bathroom. You were planning on turning on the water for only a few seconds to make him think you were actually going to leave him out there while you showered. Flicking on the lights to the bathroom, you looked in the mirror for the first time that night to realize just how messy you looked. Perhaps Yoongi could wait a little bit longer so you could wash your face. After rinsing with a little soap, you felt and looked much better. You had to finish your plan, so you walked over to the shower to pull the curtain open and reach for the handle. A small cough from the doorway startled you.

“Little do you know, one of the managers ended up finding my keychain in their suitcase. Taehyung picked it up for me yesterday.” Yoongi said lowly, trying to make eye contact with you to which you avoided. Shifting your attention to the running water, you were about to turn it off before Yoongi stood before you.

“You said you needed a shower, so get in.” Oh shit. So this is where things were going to go. 

The two of you would be up until the sun rose which you both watched while in bed. He had his arms wrapped around you, blankets scattered about, but you still felt just as warm.

”So, when are we telling everyone?” You asked, your voice soft and tired.

“That we had sex?”

”Goddammit, Yoongi”

“Whenever we want.”

“I bet the guys will be shocked.”

“What do you mean?”

”I mean, none of the other guys are married and Jimin’s been together with Minsun longer than us.” You weren’t really that doubtful, it was really just some of your sleepy ramblings, but Yoongi still responded normally.

“Who cares though? They know that I love you and that should be enough.”

A smile spread across your face as you tried to scooch closer to him and pull his arm tighter over you.

”Hey, I don’t really have the energy for round two.”

”Lies.“

“Okay, fair enough.”

A comfortable silence resumed as the sunrise became even clearer. The shining rays of red, orange and yellow that radiated through your windows made you feel completely at peace. This was the best start to your new life that you could’ve asked for. Things were inviting, bright and you had Yoongi right by your side. Nothing could be more perfect.

~Bunny 🐰

random aus

They’ve prolly been mentioned before somewhere else but meh i’m gonna do it anyway have some aus

  • “I’m a dancer and was trying out this new move in public but accidentally crashed into you and you got hurt so I brought you to a nearby clinic and I am so fucking sorry about that what can I do to make it up for you (also fuck I broke a hot person’s arm I am absolute trash)”
  • “I am legit the BEST fucking cheater in this classroom I have never been caught once but then YOU came along and found out that I had marked the windows with a special ink that is only visible through the type of material I made these glasses out of and I REFUSE to be beaten by you I’m gonna find a way to cheat successfully in your class I swear”
  • “I am a new teacher and I encourage all of my students to try and cheat through my class because the subject I’m teaching centers around problem-solving and critical thinking and if you ACTUALLY find a way to cheat without me knowing then you’re utilizing the knowledge properly”
  • “There’s a curse on this entire city and we literally cannot speak without it being a direct line from any song at all which is why I’m explaining it to you using this note also my singing voice is terrible”
  • “I accidentally wrote your last name instead of mine when I was writing my full name in the test and I totally forgot about it but then the teacher suddenly started giggling to herself in the middle of the class and I didn’t know until she called both of us to the front”
  • “My dog escaped last night and so did your dog but when my dog came back your dog followed her and is now trying to bang her and um this is kinda awkward”
  • “We accompanied both of our little siblings/cousins to this birthday party and now we’re handcuffed together because the shitty magician they hired fucked up his trick and is now trying to convince all the kids that the reason the cuffs wouldn’t come off is because destiny is binding us together do you wanna corner him later and beat the shit out of him”
  • “I just asked the most inane question in the entire world rhetorically but then you barged in and gave a legit response and I actually didn’t know that and now I am ashamed”
  • “My little siblings LOVE going to this trashy pizzeria so I pass the time by beating all the high scores on every single arcade game they have but then one day someone beat all of my high scores by exactly 100 points and I KNOW it’s the same person because they used the same fucking name on the scoreboards each time my pride is on the line who the hell did this I will fight them”
  • “So this couple just passed by and they’re singing to each other and all of a sudden the passerbys just joined in and it’s become one huge musical number and suddenly I know the song and start dancing along then started dancing with you and we had the same confused/horrified looks on our faces and then the music stopped and everyone went back to normal like nothing happened and we’re just looking at each other and we’re so confused are we in a Disney movie”
  • “The local government hired me to paint a mural on this extremely long and blank wall and I’m pretty sure I only started at end of the wall I didn’t do the stuff at the other end but somehow the entire thing is coming together as this panorama story thing and I NEED to know who that other artist is because really they’re making my job easier plus their work is beautiful”
  • “I’m the English lit teacher and no one must know that I write fanfiction of my own students and publish them online so I’m TERRIFIED when I learn that you - the art teacher - know about everything but turns out you make fanart for them and turns out we’re both fans of each other’s work online do you wanna work together and hook these guys up”
  • “This really fast paced song came on and I started dancing to it using these dance moves from this very specific video somewhere and it turns out you know the moves too so we end up dancing together and now everyone is staring at us I don’t even know you’re name”
  • “Am I cross-dressing at this costume party yes yes I am and it’s fantastic”
  • “We’re both at this costume party held by mutual friends and you’re dressed as the person I heavily ship with the person I’m dressed as also you’re cute can you pls make this ship come true for a while for me I’ll buy you a honey bagel”
  • “I just met you but I’m PRETTY sure you’re literally Captain America no really what is a perfect specimen you doing in this danky-ass coffee shop that I work at is that your drawing oh my gods you really ARE Steve Rogers aren’t youuuu”
  • “Did you actually fucking make a fully functional technological suit of armor for this cosplay competition- oh my gods you DID I’m gonna have to step up my game during the presentation. What the hell though you should be making a self-sustaining energy source or something not wasting your talents on a fucking cosplay convention”
  • “I animate a bunch of music vids on YouTube and decided I’d try out doing a cover for this one song so I go out of my way to use and actual recording studio because my mic is shit and I’m really flustered about singing this in front of a total stranger but you’re being really supportive and keep giving me tips for making my voice sound better and eventually we end up singing a duet and it sounds amazing and I am subjected to listening to it over and over again and I end up animating a love story using our vocals and it’s got so much positive feedback and they want us to do another duet? What? No, I didn’t make it a love story bec I fell for you at first sight what no”
  • “My jam went on while on the bus and it’s REALLY hard not to dance to it in my seat and you’re staring at me weirdly I apologize for being a strange creature but you don’t understand this song is perfection”
  • “We’re the only two people in the class who know how to sing this one Russian lullaby and the whole class goes totally silent while we do a duet and apparently it sounds REALLY creepy when we sing it wanna dress as dead Russian children and sing together in random dark alleyways”
  • “The teacher accidentally left his music playing on his laptop so when he opened it it started playing a Japanese song very loudly and we just start belting out the lyrics we’ve memorized by heart and I’ve never really talked to you but you seem like a cool person plus you’re singing voice is great why is the teacher looking at us with sparkly eyes
  • “I make really cheesy/nerdy pick-up lines and usually when I tell them to people they groan at how terrible they are but then you overheard me telling one and cut in with an equally cheesy/nerdy pick-up line so now we’re just shooting each other pick-up lines back and forth”
  • “I play the cello really weirdly and you play the guitar really weirdly so our friends decide to hook us up and now we’re composing a hella good song it’s gonna be a huge hit”
  • “You are literally sparkling in the sunlight are you okay you’re not a Twilight vampire or a shoujo character are you?”
  • “I am a tech wizard and am so sorry for your loss, and I will do my best to try and restore your laptop to its former glory with minimal pay, also you should probably avoid looking at funny videos and drinking milk at the same time”
  • “What the hell kinda vine are you tryna make that involves me holding onto your legs as you dangle haphazardly out your apartment window that is on the eighteenth floor”
  • “That is the most neon shirt I have ever seen a person bear to wear pls burn it”
  • “As your doctor I would advise you to stop from using yourself as reference I don’t care if it’s for your novel you can’t just walk into a bar and ask the biggest guy you can find to punch you really hard in the shoulder my gods”

I’ll add more when I think of them if yer gonna use them tag me maybe idk