also yes he has a lisp

Jake Peralta: Stepdad!AU

So this was going to be an actual fic, but, alas, any sort of narrative wouldn’t come, so instead allow me to offer a series of (not at all canon-timeline compliant) headcanons about Amy Santiago’s tiny daughter taking Jake in as part of the family:

  • When Amy starts at the Nine-Nine, she is Very Adamant that Jake will never meet Maya, largely because a) He’s the worst, and b) Maya doesn’t need to see her mother curse out a fellow employee, but mostly c) He’s The Worst.
  • Except she only lasts twelve days, at which point Captain McGinley calls her in on her day off because he’s finally realized that his new detective has started and he wants to meet her, even though they have met four (4) times and he’s assigned two cases to her and Jake
    • It’s supposed to be a short meeting and she promises a very teary-eyed Maya that she’ll be real quick, but she needs to go in without Maya because McGinley looks like he might yell for some reason, Amy can just tell, and Sarge isn’t here and Amy barely knows anyone else and Jake offers, basically
    • Maya is just v. v. teary when Amy blows her a quick kiss before entering McGinley’s office
    • The meeting lasts exactly forty-seven minutes
    • Amy expects A Disaster when she gets out, or at the very least a very stressed-out Jake trying to pass her daughter off on someone else
    • But instead Maya is sitting in Jake’s lap with two of his superhero figurines gripped between her sweaty little hands, patiently telling a story while Jake writes on a piece of paper next to her
    • “And then there’s a dragon,” Maya says breathlessly, and Jake nods along patiently
    • “Fire-breathing or bearded?” he offers, and Maya really considers it for a moment before deciding on bearded. “Got it, I’ve jotted that down.”
    • “I thought no one was allowed to touch your dolls?” Amy asks when she gets to them, and she’s a little stressed out about this whole situation because Jake is suddenly, like, a kind person? Who’s been watching her daughter for forty-seven minutes and counting?
    • “Uh, obviously this is Red Metal Man and Mr. Star, okay.”
    • It’s not. It’s Iron Man and Captain America, and Amy can tell because she’s not totally out of the loop of the cultural zeitgeit, okay, and she sometimes pays attention to movie posters and has very definitely seen at least two of the superhero movies
    • “Plus I believe I said no Santiagos, and that was back before I knew there was a cool Santiago in the clan.”
    • Maya, meanwhile, has grabbed a pen off of Jake’s desk and is now leaning precariously over said desk and drawing on some of the large blank spaces Jake had left on the paper
    • And Amy realizes that Jake was writing down Maya’s story but made sure there was room so she could draw
    • Jake grins at her sheepishly, braces Maya with one hand on her back to make sure she doesn’t slip, and says, “It’s her vision, and she’s, like, a really good storyteller.”
    • Amy swoons, but in a low-key, subtle way. Probably.
    • Anyway, but Jake is also The Worst, so it doesn’t matter

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

headcanon that lance had a lisp when he was younger and went to speech therapy or something for it. sometimes it'll still come out & he gets really insecure about it. while the team is going over training exercises or something lance starts telling jokes like usual but then it comes out and he gets really flustered and tries to run away to his room while the team has these really puzzled looks on their faces because they've never heard it before

I live for this. I really want him to also be covering up his accent by forcing himself too sound american- because people can do that. But yes, Lance with a Lisp is totally canon okay.

anonymous asked:

So, what are your favorite Arasol headcanons?

Ah yes, the ask I never thought I’d get

  • Sollux is taller than Aradia (the top of her head would reach the tip of his shoulder) and he likes to tease her about it sometimes
  • She has to stand on her tippy toes to smooch him :’>
  • She likes to playfully mock his lisp and then tell him how cute it is
  • In a domestic AU they cuddle when they sleep together and often Sollux is the bigger spoon (obviously because of his height)
  • ^ Aradia sometimes hogs the blanket
  • ^ Aradia also snores lightly in her sleep (not loud enough to keep him awake though) and when he’s not in a grumpy mood he finds it adorable
  • ^ When Sollux stays up late he just lies in bed with his laptop on his lap while Aradia would snuggle up to him while she slept that way so
  • ^ Neither of them cook so they always end up almost burning the place down when they attempt to use the stove/oven therefore microwaving is their only option
  • Sometimes when she smiles he just likes to kiss her dimples because they make her adorable as hell 
  • They like to play Minecraft together
  • Puns