Hello, new followers!
There certainly are a lot of you!
So this post that I wrote a long time ago suddenly gained a lot of traction, and between when I went to bed around 1 AM and when I woke up around 11 AM (ahhh, Sundays), I gained almost 100 followers; in the last 3 days, that post has gone from 1000 notes to (as of last count) about
I used to have an introduction post, but it’s kind of outdated, and there are an awful, awful lot of you who probably only know me from one of two or three posts. So… hi!
Radfems, TWERFs and SWERFs are explicitly not welcome here, and I do not want my family stories or life used for your politics. I block all three categories, full stop. Radfems & TWERFs/TERFs deny the essential humanity of myself and my daughter and if you self-ID as one of those, please save us all the trouble and just don’t. If you’ve reblogged one of my posts and added something about how this proves one of your points, please pretend you respect other people and take it down.
If you are here because you don’t understand the post about the dog that attacked me, or its point, either legitimately or because you don’t really want to get it & want to argue with me about it, tell me I need to get counseling for my fear of dogs, tell me I’ve compared men to dogs, please go read seananmcguire explaining the post to someone who already sent me an ask about it. That pretty much covers why the post exists. Also you should buy and read Seanan’s books.
Also, also, all of the stories about @seananmcguire you’ve heard are probably true if they’re bizarre or funny. Especially the one about the lizard and the one about the frog.
If you’re here to tell me my views on asexuality & the queer community are wrong or that stuff I lived through & you weren’t born yet for is ‘ahistorical,’ go away. This blog is explicitly anti-gatekeeping for the Not-Straight Club.
If you’re here about the post about my great-grandmother, I kind of don’t have it in my heart to answer all the sad family stories. If you shared a family story on that post, thank you. If you want to use it to make some sort of gross radfem point about marital rape or some comment about how my great-granddad should have learned to pull out, I’m gonna block you without answering you. Don’t be gross.
If you’re here about the post about spoon theory, I ended up so grossed out by a small group’s insistence on gatekeeping (yeah, anti-gatekeeping is kind of a thing for me when it comes to marginalized groups, who knew?) that I no longer call myself a spoonie and use ‘energy currency’ instead of spoons.
If you’re here about the tiny house post, please read the notes, I’m not gonna explain it again.
Anon is never turned on, but if you ask me not to publish an ask, I won’t. Please remember to put that in the ask.
So here’s some stuff you should know about me:
I’m older than large portions of Tumblr, and in a fair number of cases I’m probably twice your age or more. If that’s a problem, I really am not offended if you aren’t cool with interacting with me. Age can be a powerful unbalancer in social relationships. I am going to get annoyed if you start 'explaining’ stuff I lived through to me and insisting you know my history better than I do.
Since it bears repeating one more time: I’m not interested in interacting with TWERFs, SWERFs, or ace-exclusionary queers. I’ve been Out for 26 years & I really have no desire to argue my lived experience with anyone. I explicitly reject the terms SGA & MGA.
My immediate family consists of my spouse adhocavenger, my teenage daughter @mistresskabooms and my stepdaughter, my adopted son scribbleowl (who lives across the continent from me), and adhoc and I’s 3 dogs, hereinafter referred to as BigDog (Lex), SmallDog (Kusto), and Captain America, aka Cap, aka Pudding Butt, who is actually the tiniest of them, but SmallDog has been called SmallDog by our family for like ten years now.
I have other adopted internet kids. They’re great. I’m not tagging them unless they give me the okay to do so, because I don’t know if they want me to say so!
I’ve been called Spider for 20+ years, & now a lot of people call me Mama Spider.
I am a Jewish convert in progress. I will be glad to talk to you about my conversion process and progress but I am not an expert on Judaism. Please do not approach me as if I were one!
In this house we do intersectional feminism, we don’t do transmisogyny, we recognize asexuality as valid and part of LGBT and no I won’t argue about that no really, we recognize that biphobia, transphobia/transmisogyny and acephobia are all real and not just subsets of homophobia. In this house we don’t do antisemitism or Islamophobia, and we’re thoughtful & careful about our interaction with other cultures, because we recognize White people have to be actively careful to manage the harm we can do. This goes like quadruple for interaction with Native culture.
In this house Black Lives Matter, and if you don’t understand why I have to say that, please click here and listen at least 20 times on loop. If you don’t understand after that, I can’t help you. If you tell me All Lives Matter I shall send you to bed without supper and you can think about what you’ve done.
In this house we try to stay in our lanes & we understand call-outs while being aware of the toxic parts of call-out culture. Be cool to teenagers: you were one, and yes, the shit you said was just as stupid. You don’t win points for browbeating a teenager over an idea, you just look like a jerk.
If you screw up and you say something that hurts someone, say you’re sorry, and try not to do it again. It’s not that hard! Don’t tell them they shouldn’t be hurt. This goes double if it was an accident. “I didn’t know that was offensive, I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll be more mindful in the future.” See how easy that is? That’s how we do in this house.
I’m bi/pansexual, genderfluid (or non-binary, still unsure which label I like better, so yeah, it’s cool to be questioning at any age), disabled, neurodiverse, and don’t want pity or to hear how sorry you are for either of those things. Being autistic is just fine, and it didn’t happen because I am vaccinated. I have PTSD and GAD, and I live with both of them. They’re terrible roommates but I’ve got used to them. I’d like it if people would just stop throwing shade at the invisibly ill when we park in handicapped spots – I’m missing part of my spine, for fuck’s sake – and playing Oppression Olympics will get you stern looks and no dessert.
In this house we do nerd culture, there are no fake geek girls, and we understand that women invented masked superheroes (The Scarlet Pimpernel), science fiction (Mary Shelley), the modern novel (Jane Austen), dystopia fiction (Mary Shelley again), computer programming (Ada Lovelace and the ENIACs, which is my new band name), and got Star Trek on the air (Lucille Ball).
If I didn’t cover it, assume if it involves being a jerk or punching down, I’m not okay with it.
If it involves dogs being adorable, otters, mermaids, spiders, most of the major fandoms Tumblr loves (I can’t get into Supernatural, sorry, I tried), or people doing awesome shit, I am definitely here for that.
I am a Social Justice Rogue. My points tend to be sharp and driven home when you’re not expecting it. Also I might steal your powers via touch. I will neither confirm nor deny that.
If I get enough XP I think I’ll dual-class to Bard.
@hypoallergeniccuddles thinks I’m secretly Mrs. Weasley.
That may be true also. If so, please remember what happens when you fuck with Molly’s children.
Welcome. Supper is at seven, the Wizard Home will make a room for you if you need it.