also this was one of the reasons i started watching community

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

3 Study Methods You Should Use More Often

This was originally for an article writing assignment, but I thought “why not write something I can also post on my blog?” so here are three study methods that I haven’t seen a lot of in the studyblr community but are definitely worth mentioning.

The Leitner System

          Flash cards have remained one of the most popular ways to study. Some people use them to memorize vocabulary, remember answers to specific questions, or even associate dates with events. Although the use of flash cards is convenient, their effectiveness has been reduced due to most people’s habits of prioritizing each card equally and therefore spending too much time memorizing the information on them.

          The Leitner System, created by a German popularizer of science named Sebastian Leitner, is a more efficient method of studying that implements the concept of spaced repetition. All the cards start off in one pile. You would first scan through these cards, then test yourself. Each card you answer correctly goes to a second pile, while those you answer incorrectly should be revised then placed at the bottom of the pile. When you review the cards in the second pile and get them correct, they will be promoted to a third pile. An incorrect card will always get demoted to the first pile, even if they had previously been promoted to the last pile.

          The reason why this method is so effective is that you end up reviewing the first pile of cards more frequently—the cards you don’t know very well. Some people choose to review their Stack 1 cards every day, Stack 2 cards every other day, Stack 3 cards once every three days, and so on.

          Once all your cards have been promoted to the highest box, study them thoroughly and then start over. The continuous revision trains your speed so that you may reach fluency, which allows you to recall the information faster.

Timed Memorization

          The name tells it all: you memorize a certain text within a time limit, normally around five to ten minutes depending on your fluency and memorization abilities. When the timer starts, you begin memorizing. When time is up, you flip to the next page, even if you haven’t finished the previous page yet. Continue until you’ve gone through all your material.

          Timed memorization helps you to discipline yourself because your brain thinks that there’s no time for messing around; you have to do this here and now. Make sure to repeat the things you missed and revise everything frequently. This method is actually one of the most effective for cramming as it gives a better coverage than if you spend a whole half hour memorizing one subtopic.

The Memory Palace or Mind Palace

           Sound familiar? In BBC’s Sherlock, the ‘highly functioning sociopath’ uses this method to remember vital information and facts. A mind palace is a systematic arrangement of information, each detail corresponding to a specific object in a familiar place. To ensure that you really remember everything, the objects have to appear shocking and conspicuous.

           Here’s an example: if I wanted to memorize “crimson, 11, delight, petrichor (the smell after rain)”, aside from imagining Amy Pond or the Doctor saying it, I would first choose a place, let’s say my school. I’d imagine myself walking up to the front gate and seeing that the entire building has been painted the color of blood—crimson. The building would then rise as though it were lifted from the earth and crumble into rubble, controlled by Eleven, the character from Stranger Things. Now, since I can’t really picture delight specifically, I’d probably end up visualizing a colossal sign that simply reads “delight” posted in front of my school. As for petrichor, I’d imagine curves rising out of the puddles on the asphalt after a rainy night, a visual representation of the smell of the rain. Of course, these visualizations have been created to suit my memory. (I wouldn’t know if you watched Stranger Things.)

           I used this method when memorizing case studies for geography, although I chose to visualize fictional places from television series and cartoons. Some people do opt to create artificial places, but these often become blurry and are easily forgotten.

           As with any study method, repetition is vital to storing the information in your long-term memory. Visit your “palace” as often as you can. Soon enough, you’ll remember the data as well as you remember the place associated with the data.

So there you have it, three lesser known methods of studying that have proven to be immensely efficient. Now, there is no “correct” way to study, but there are methods that can ease your learning process.

I had someone ask me via message on where to start in regards to adopting an “unadoptable” dog, and we had a rather pleasant conversation, but I feel like something needs to be said in public on this blog due to my history of having owned such a creature.

Ethical shelters and rescues do not label dogs unadoptable for no reason, in nearly all cases. There is something about the dog that will determine it being an extremely poor fit for 99% of homes that would be interested, and typically that 1% would need to make tremendous amounts of sacrifice in order to successfully own them. As nice as it sounds- wanting to give a dog everyone else has given up on a home- ethical rescues and shelters have a responsibility to take care of ALL of the dogs in their care and to not endanger those they adopt to or the general public with their adoptions. Taking in unadoptable dogs and keeping them until that 1% person shows up takes vast amounts of money away from perfectly adoptable dogs and ends up killing the friendly, healthy, young dogs that are deemed “more likely to be adopted”. Don’t believe me?

Someone I know from dobermantalk stopped fostering for her rescue when they took in 2 heartworm positive senior beagles to foster from a high kill shelter and left the young healthy beagle that had been surrendered with the older pair. The “adoptable” dog never got a foster. He also never got adopted. When his time was up, he was euthanized. The older pair did not survive their heartworm treatment. Three dogs died because of a focus on unadoptable dogs. Who does that help?

About five years ago, a woman took in two seriously dog aggressive presa canarios to foster. What was left of her body was found several days after the fact- she had been torn to pieces. It was hard for the authorities to determine if the presas had done the deed or if her personal dogs, one “pit bull” bbm and one frenchie, had contributed, but they guessed that the presas, two intact males known for engaging in serious fights with other dogs, had begun to fight and redirected on her when she tried to break them up. Due to their size, they would have overwhelmed her quickly, especially if the other two dogs joined in the frenzy. From there it’s hard to tell what bites were inflicted post-mortum, when the dogs ran out of food and turned to the only available source of meat, and what bites caused her death. Reports from those who found her described the scene as a bloodbath. All four dogs were euthanized. Who does that help?

A small breed puppy mill rescue dog I personally knew, deemed unadoptable for her extreme fear issues, was taken in by a well meaning family member. In a very short amount of time, this family member had been bitten multiple times for offenses as minor as walking by the dog while she was sleeping. Eventually, the dog slipped her harness after spooking due to a loud noise, ran into the road, and was killed instantly by a car. Obliterated. In front of her owner. Who does that help?

Skoll was a dog that had been failed by everyone in his short life. He’d come from known abuse and had clear abandonment issues. He had terrible health and his fear of people and his learned behavior of biting to make the scary things go away were ingrained into him long before he came to me. I gave him a chance anyway, I couldn’t sit by and watch a young dog be killed for something that wasn’t his fault. He mauled me without provocation and I euthanized him two months into our time together. He should have been euthanized on take in- he had a long, long list of documented bites well before he ever came to me, though I didn’t know it at the time. Who does that help?

Instead of focusing on these unadoptable dogs, there is a better solution. If you want to feel like you’re making a difference, find an ethical rescue or shelter and foster! Transport! Volunteer your photography skills! Learn their temperament and health testing process and volunteer there too! Make goods to sell at fundraisers and auctions! Organize a community donation pool! There are so many things you can do for dogs in need that aren’t things that, more often than not, end up with the dog dying anyway. But wanting to adopt a dog labeled, for good reason, unadoptable? Especially if you are not experienced in intense or extreme issues, temperament or health wise, in dogs? You are asking for a lot of heartbreak.

Adopt the adoptable dogs. Accept that we cannot save every unwanted dog. Accept that not every unwanted dog SHOULD be saved. It’s not the dogs’ faults, but neither is it the public’s for not being able to deal with these sorts of issues.

We talk a lot about Yuuri having to reconcile his idea of Viktor with the real Viktor–that is, Yuuri has this flawless, wonderful ideal of Viktor in his head which has to sort of be cut down to fit the person that Viktor really is. Which is a healthy part of their relationship, and which I completely agree is something Yuuri has to face at some point during that first summer.

But I think there’s also something to be said about Yuuri realizing that some of the horrible things he’s heard about Viktor through the skating community grapevine are not so true.

Yuuri, despite what he says, is much closer to is idol than most people ever get. If Viktor is a movie star, Yuuri is the secondary character–he’s there, and a lot of people definitely know he’s there, and he knows enough people who also know Viktor for the gossip mill to really get churnin sometimes.

I also think that at the back of every person who has ever had a celebrity crush’s mind is a little voice saying, “Never meet your heroes,” and Yuuri Katsuki is terrified of that little voice, and it contributes to the distance he keeps from Viktor–because at some point, that much distance from someone you’re facing off against in international competitions has got to be just a little bit purposeful.

So cue Viktor coming into his life all of a sudden one day, and all Yuuri can think about are the terrible awful no good very bad things people have told him about Viktor and the kind of person Viktor is.

“Fuck Viktor Nikiforov,” an older skater had told him after Skate America, six glasses into a box of wine and bitter as hell about missing the podium. “No, really, fuck him. The Russians are paying off the ISU to keep him at the top. He isn’t even that talented. I hear–I hear he doesn’t even train. I hear he just shows up and fucking does whatever and they give him gold because he’s Viktor Nikiforov.”

“I…don’t think…” Yuuri frowned at his own glass of wine. “I mean…that couldn’t be true.” He glances at Phichit next to him. “Could it?”

“Sour grapes,” Phichit advises, and Yuuri isn’t as familiar with English idioms at that point, so he thinks Phichit is talking about the wine.

Yuuri mostly forgets about it, but somewhere in the back of his mind–he can’t stop thinking about it. He watches and rewatches Viktor’s old programs and wonders to himself if the reason he thinks they’re so good is because he’s watching them through rose-tinted glasses.

Yuuri and Phichit are suffering through finals and trying to survive through twenty-hour days of nothing but studying and skating. They lay themselves on the bleachers one afternoon while they’re supposed to be doing warm ups.

“What if I just quit school and became and underwater basket weaver,” Yuuri mumbles directly into the metal seat of the bleacher. “That would be fine, right?”

“WWVND,” Phichit replies. “What Would Viktor Nikiforov Do.”

“You’re right,” Yuuri sighs.

“Viktor Nikiforov is dumber than a box of rocks,” says of the other members of the club as she skates by. “You know he never even finished high school? I mean, what counts as high school in a country like Russia. The guy probably thinks two plus two equals borscht.”

“That’s not…” Yuuri smushes his nose against the bleacher. “Hey, that’s not…”

“FUCK OFF OLIVIA,” Phichit shrieks across the rink, and Celestino definitely hears. They have to do twenty minutes of line drills. 

“What Would Viktor Nikiforov Do, right boys?” asks Olivia as she watches Yuuri try not to heave after Celestino finally releases them from their Sisyphean torture.

“I’m gonna fucking kill her,” Phichit says, and he sounds so deeply serious that Yuuri is sincerely worried.

Several weeks later, someone mentions Viktor within earshot of Phichit and he jokingly says, “Watch what you say, that’s Yuuri’s future husband you’re talking about,” and it sort of makes Yuuri want to hit him but mostly makes Yuuri blush.

“Really?” replies that someone. “I don’t know about that, Yuuri. I wouldn’t touch that guy with a thirty foot pole. He sleeps around. Probably has all kinds of nasty stuff going on down there.”

“Oh, whatever,” Phichit says, rolling his eyes. “Like you would know.”

Yuuri ducks his head back into his book and tries not to think about it.

These are the things that Yuuri holds in the back of his mind about Viktor, the worries that travel with him anywhere he has even the chance of encountering Viktor Nikiforov. 

‘Never meet your heroes’ becomes something of the unspoken mantra of Yuuri’s life. 

Then Viktor Nikiforov catapults himself straight into Yuuri’s lap, and Yuuri learns a few things.

Viktor trains. Viktor trains hard. Viktor has neglected everything but training and skating and satisfying his own frantic need to be the best for twenty years. Viktor Nikiforov is a lonely, sad bookworm with one friend and a gaping, yearning need to be touched–and he did not get to be where he is without making sacrifices. 

Yuuri has never met anyone who made more sacrifices for this sport and this art than Viktor Nikiforov. It opens something up inside of him, throbbing and raw. It makes Yuuri want to take Viktor’s heart and shove it inside his own chest so that it never feels cold or lonely again. It makes him want to stand on the top of a tall building somewhere and scream fuck you to every person he’s encountered whose jealousy tried to convince him that this man was less than what he is.

And yes, Yuuri knows now that Viktor is forgetful and brutally honest and often doesn’t say the right thing at the right time.

He knows that Viktor is only ambidextrous in that he can use a fork with both hands and that it takes him twenty minutes in the morning to decide on a shirt to wear. He knows that Viktor Nikiforov is a blanket hog and that if Yuuri wants to wake up still covered in the morning, they have to have no less than three blankets on the bed at all times.

He knows that Viktor sometimes descends into these loops of manic energy where he wants to do everything and can’t sit still and in those moments, Yuuri wants to lock him in a room and leave him there until he starts making sense again.

He also knows that Viktor Nikiforov has the most genuinely beautiful soul that Yuuri has ever had the opportunity to touch. He knows that very few people in his life will ever love him like Viktor, and that he himself has never felt for anyone quite what he feels for this man. His man. 

He knows these things and he thinks that maybe Viktor is perfect after all, perfect in his imperfection. Every jagged edge of his fits into one of Yuuri’s, and every curve of Yuuri’s lovingly presses flush with Viktor’s until they fit together seamlessly, like a pair of puzzle pieces.

Yuuri is also still a very petty person on the inside, though–which is why he makes posts on Instagram that read things like Viktor received his sixth well-deserved Russian National gold today! Congratulations to my amazing fiance.

And also:

So proud of my husband for all of his hard work commentating at the #Olympics. Some people go to school for half their lives and aren’t half as articulate as my Vitya. #Proudhubby

After that last one, Phichit leaves a voicemail on Yuuri’s phone that is literally just two whole minutes of him laughing hysterically and then wheezing, “THE SALT!” before hanging up.

“Yuuri, why did Phichit just sent me…sixteen crying laughing emojis and a text that says ‘your husband I can’t,’ in all caps?”

“Because a lot of people tried telling me you weren’t perfect and I’m proving them wrong,” Yuuri replies, not even looking up from his phone.

“Oh,” Viktor says, and literally crawls on top of him.

Yuuri supposes that the moral of the story is that the heart wants what the heart wants, and you have to find perfection in the imperfections–Viktor is loud and ditzy and forgets the English word for tomato on an almost daily basis, but he’s Yuuri’s husband. And because he’s Yuuri’s husband, he’s perfect.

A LIST OF SWAN QUEEN FAN FICTION

B/C I KNOW Y’ALL ARE TIRED OF LOOKING FOR SWANQUEEN FANFIC RECS ON TUMBLR SO HERES THE GOOD SHIT.

  • all of these are in english
  • if you have any recommendations or additions, please let me know!
  • some fanfictions that i originally planned to include on this list were deleted by their authors :( 


CLASSICS (favorites)

The Art Of Being Extraordinary - if you haven’t read this already, wyd? The ending will destroy you - be prepared to cry. 

Letters From War - another extremely well known fic among swen. a heart-wrenching and beautifully written AU fic. even if AUs aren’t your thing, seriously, give this one a try.

Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.

A Trail Of Destruction - DEFINITELY a classic imo. this is one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Trigger warnings for violence and gun threats and general angst. Slow-burn swan queen.

Miles To Go - AU; emma and regina meet at a party and the rest is history. this ones pretty long (80 chapters), but so worth the read! angsty & lots of ‘sexy times’ 

Everyone has their own story, this one is theirs and it paints the picture of a love story that spans over two decades, with all the ups and downs and everything else in between. SwanQueen AU
 

Of Love and Loathing - a lot of angry sex in the beginning, which eventually turns into lovey sex. another well known and well written fic - this author is one of my favorites. *reaaallyyy hot smut 

“I have been sleeping with someone,” Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, “whom I absolutely loathe.” •Emma/Regina•

Meet me Halfway - one of the first swan queen fan fictions i ever read! still a classic to this day. AU

Emma Swan works hard every night as a bartender, struggling to raise her son and save up enough to own her own bar. Regina Mills is an upper class New York photographer who wouldn’t normally spare a second glance at people below her. When their paths cross, their lives adapt to each other, but how much are they willing to change?

Love Undefined - in the process of re-reading this one because of how much i love it. angsty as hell but such a beautiful story.

It’s been eight years since the last time Regina and Emma saw each other, eight years since Emma lost part of her happiness, her family, and everything fell apart. But she hasn’t forgotten those three years in New York, or any of what Regina had brought into her life. A late night phone call to Regina takes Emma back eleven years to when they met, saved each other from loneliness, and Emma started learning what it meant to live. She relives the moments that had changed her life for the better, and even the ones that had hurt.

Teacher’s Pet - KNOWN AS THE ONE TEACHER/STUDENT FANFIC THAT EVERYONE HAS READ. 

Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this ‘bitchy Evil Queen’ as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.

Lost in Translation - i wasn’t sure about this before reading it but i LOVED it. the description pretty much sums it up.

AU. Regina is deaf. Emma is the only one who refuses to give her pity. In response, Regina is thrilled by this new challenge and the stand-offs commence, but over time she finds out there is more to the blonde woman than just a target to throw a stinging quip and pointed glare at.

Send Up a Signal - emma and regina are actresses and their fans ship them with each other. ;)

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she’s invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.Their characters’ fanbases, however, have other ideas.

Reset - SO. GOOD. 95 chapters. if you’re looking for long fanfics, this is for you. 

Following the breaking of the curse everyone in Storybrooke is finding their happy ending, with one exception. Resigning herself to having lost Henry’s love and respect forever, Regina decides there is only one path available to her.

Take Me Home Tonight - AU!! lots of smut :) this is a newer one that i’ve seen around twitter and tumblr and i really enjoyed it! this one’s pretty short (14 chapters)

AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she’s a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.

The Staircase - non-consensual sex in the first chapter, so please be aware of that; its not for eveyone. this story is very dark but has a happy ending i promise!

Regina could still smell her cologne and feel the cheap pleather pressing into her back. The brunette sucked in a breath. She was still lying on the floor at the staircase’s base and she stared back up at it. Everything was different now. Changed. She felt broken by what had just happened, appalled and enraged, dirty. WARNING: NC17 for non-consensual sex. Dark. (But gets lighter.)

the trouble with emma - very very well known within the swan queen community. i’ll be honest, i never really got into the story but i can acknowledge that it is the most well-written fanfiction i have read to date. the author is truly talented. (the first in a series of fanfics)

Post ep 4x23, Emma becomes the Dark One and learns nothing is quite as it seems or as simple as black versus white. When Regina removes the curse no one in Storybrooke is prepared for the far reaching fallout which leaves none of their lives unaltered or untouched, least of all Regina’s.

SMUT 

shadow haven  - the one smut fic everyone has read.

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.

the wicked stepmother - the one kinky fic everyone has read- or attempted to. i couldn’t get through the whole thing but the first few chapters,,, holy hell.

When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter… but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

in control  - Regina had never been in the habit of relinquishing control, but when it came to Emma Swan, she was starting to find out that giving in had its benefits. - Established Swan Queen - One Shot. Rated M for language and content.

the collar - It will carry strong mature themes as well as a Mistress/Slave relationship but it is also a lot more than that. However, as a warning this story will celebrate the shades of grey of our favourite couple as they find their way to each other and will deal with darker elements of their characters. Emma’s history differs a little from canon but will be covered by the story but there is no Henry and she is an adult in this fiction.

a little taste  - author of A Fine Line and Letters from War. 

Emma has been desperate to know what it’s like to kiss the smirk off of Regina Mills, but when she finally gets the chance, it doesn’t seem to be enough.

tempest - A storm ushers in an expected opportunity for Regina to finally rid herself of Emma Swan. She will posses the sheriff’s heart and then crush it. But what happens when nothing goes as planned? Rated M for language and Swan Queen sexytimes.

come on be nice - Regina has decided that the quickest way to get rid of Emma Swan is to scare off the commitment phobic woman with a come-on. This, as with many of Regina’s plans, does not go as, well, planned. Rated M for Swan Queen sex.

black lace - Emma and Henry find a way around the 'no visiting’ rule involving binoculars and the walkie talkie. Emma’s attention is fully on her son, she truly doesn’t intend to watch Regina at all. At least until the mayor begins undressing in front of her window..

dirty words - Regina is plagued by thoughts of a certain blonde. Deciding she is in need of cathartic release, she writes a quick narrative in hopes of cleansing her system. However, by a happy accident, the story falls into the wrong hands. What will Emma do with this new and intriguing insight into the mayor’s mind?

damn you, miss swan  Emma visits the mayor one night with a bottle of wine to cheer her up. Anger issues and smeared lippy ensues. WARNING: Includes a non-explicit passing reference to rape. This is my first story. A/N Jan 2015: Way back when I wrote this, no one knew anyone’s back stories, so I just made up stuff. Don’t be upset for canon divergence if you read it now. It wasn’t canon then.

mirror tricks The Evil Queen has made her way to Storybrooke, but she only seems to be interested in one thing: Emma. When Regina realises this, her jealousy starts to get the better of her.

my enemy’s enemy After her mother’s death, Regina finds a terrible surprise hidden among the witch’s belongings. Unfortunately, the only one able to cure her from the ailment is Emma…if she agrees. Strong language and mature themes. First stab at SwanQueen :)

ANGST

to remember her happy ending - “She doesn’t even remember her family! How am I going to explain this to her when she hates me!” She was falling apart now. The way the women in the other room had just looked at her, with such disdain. That wasn’t her wife. That was the Mayor, the Evil Queen maybe…but not her wife.

for endings are where we begin Regina Mills is your average working mom - she spends long hours at her bakery, loves her son Henry with all that she is, and can touch dead things and bring them back to life.Emma Swan is an orphan, an ex-convict, and a bail bondsperson residing in Massachusetts. She is also currently dead.This is the story of how they meet.

the loudest silence - New to Chicago Emma, a professional cellist, is shocked to find that a beautiful deaf woman is her new president of the board. As their friendship grows Emma begins to wonder, what does it look like when a world of sound and a world of silence meet somewhere in the middle? SwanQueen AU

broken 16 year Emma Swan is a preachers daughter on a tight leash, what happens when Regina Mills returns to town, dark, mysterious and dangerous? Will her father’s expectations take over or will Emma follow her heart? Is Regina legit or is Emma cute little pawn? Will Emma be able to love Regina for who she is or will her dark past ruin it ALL! SwanQueen G!P Some BDSM

bring her home Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina’s door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home.

if the blazer fits Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.

a fine line Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

a pale imitation Regina is furious with Emma after she brings back Marian, but since she can’t take it out on her, Regina creates a mindless clone of Emma to hit instead. The clone doesn’t stay mindless for long though, developing an obsession with Regina. Written for summer 2014 Swan Queen Big Bang. (TW for sexual assault/rape and graphic depictions of violence)

FLUFF

one fine mess - Regina’s gut twisted with an agonizing pull and, for just a moment, she thought she might need to take up the same position as the woman crouched before her. “You’re pregnant?” she whispered grimly. Emma’s only response was to turn and retch into the toilet again. — Swan Queen, magic!pregnancy

coffee at midnight - (so good) Slow burn AU that starts with two women from different parts of the USA meeting on Twitter. Emma is an insomniac loner who is a Personal Trainer. Regina is a writer with a sleepless baby. Their lack of sleep and love for coffee soon brings them together and after that they find it hard to part. This is a fic where coffee is taking to mythical levels, despite it’s bad effect on people with insomnia and people with babies - showing that sometimes what you need and want isn’t always the thing that is wholesome and harmless. But also that denying yourself it will only lead to misery, something which Regina has to apply to other parts of her life.

all the single ladies With the library in desperate need of renovation, Storybrooke prepares for a fundraising dinner and bachelorette auction. What mischief and romance can be found as a result? SwanQueen with some RedBeauty Rating has been raised to M - now including adult content.


TEACHER+STUDENT / EMPLOYEE+BOSS

teacher’s pet - see above (classics)

take me home tonight - see above (classics)

step into my office, baby  - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea.or, the one where they’re in an office.

teaching miss mills  - Swan Queen Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to small-town life, gets her teaching mojo back and grows closer to Regina. NOW COMPLETE

troubled teachers - COMPLETE! SwanQueen AU. Geography teacher Emma Swan starts a new life far from her troubled past and meets history teacher Regina Mills. But all is not as it seems when it comes to the composed, intelligent, and beautiful brunette. Family struggles and difficult relationships lead to a friendship and soon something more blossoms. Rated M for Ch 7, 18, 22, 24, 28, 29, 31, 35 and 38

not a virgin anymore When college student Emma Swan wakes up one morning with no memory of what happened the night before she’s very surprised she finds herself in professor Mills’s bed. 

is that so, miss swan? - College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see. AU. Slightly OOC at times. No magic. SwanQueen. Rated M for serious language and eventual sexy times between our two favorite ladies.

butterfly effect - in her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only… she doesn’t expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills. Complete. AU Swan Queen

a sophisticated seduction Emma’s a college student, working as an intern at the Dazzle Magazine for a powerful woman she has never had the good fortune of meeting. But everything in her life is about to change when they finally meet. Especially when one falls so deeply in love with the other and the insecurities from a broken marriage comes to light. (Not Based on The Devil Wears Prada)

some other faves

down east decisions - Massachusetts State Police Capt. Emma Swan leaves her red-hot career to become the police chief of sleepy Storybrooke, Maine. She’s hoping for a less-complicated, less-dangerous life, a desire that is dashed on both counts. AU. No magic. Crime drama and romance. Swan Queen is endgame.

that drunken night - Emma’s wasted and accidentally calls Regina instead of her mom. And Regina isn’t as loathe to talk to the blonde as she usually pretends. Did things change between them so radically while they were in Neverland? (No copyright infringement intended.)

chasing henry - SQ. Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny’s magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely.

so does this make us both the other woman? - Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma’s fallen into a relationship with Hook. Shame about all that subtext that’s rapidly threatening to become text.

1. Take a clipboard to school.
You have to be prepared to do homework ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. Carry it in your hand with some paper and your homework clipped onto it and get work done whenever you can. Don’t keep the clipboard in your bag.

2. USE YOUR PLANNER EVERY DAY.
Keeping track of assignments and important dates helps clear your mind. You don’t have to worry about remembering everything because all of it is written down. If you have a lot going on at once, start a bullet journal. If you can, divide your planner into sections based on different activities. For example, my bullet journal has 4 major sections: school work, extracurricular activities, community service, and general life issues. This creates order in the midst of chaos and also enforces the idea of taking everything one at a time. Your planner shouldn’t overwhelm you.

3. Get the biggest calendar you can find and hang it on the wall.
The purpose of the calendar is to allow you to establish a general time frame for everything you need to do. PLAN AHEAD. Make sure EVERYTHING is on that calendar. Being overwhelmed by your planner is bad because it leads to a stressful day; your calendar takes on the role of allowing you to see the big picture. Having everything written down on a calendar creates a sense of urgency that’ll decrease the likelihood or duration of procrastination.

4. If you’re taking multiple AP classes, dedicate at least one day of the week to each subject.
I had 7 AP’s so I studied a different subject each day. For example, every Monday was Macroeconomics day. I took my econ review book to school on Mondays and studied whenever I had some extra time. Start doing this 3 or 4 months before the exams in May to avoid cramming and excessive stress.

5. Sleep whenever you can but avoid sleeping on the way home from school.
If you enter your home feeling sleepy the bed is going to be extra enticing.

6. If you NEED to pull an all-nighter (try to avoid them), drink a cup of straight up black coffee (no sugar) and take a 20 minute nap.
It takes some time for the caffeine to kick in so you might as well get some sleep. You’ll eventually get used to the bitterness.

7. Sometimes you need to skip school but don’t skip unless you absolutely have to.
If you do, you better not sleep in! Wake up normally and get to work ASAP. Do the makeup work and turn it in the next day, even if you don’t have to.

8. Study smarter, not harder.
Figure out which study methods work for you. Note-taking is time-consuming so try to find alternatives. You don’t have to make everything aesthetically pleasing to post it on tumblr. In fact, if you’re compelled to take pretty notes just to post it on tumblr, LEAVE NOW. DO NOT WASTE TIME.

9. Do homework for the learning experience instead of the grade.
Don’t copy work from your friends. If you use homework as a study resource, you won’t have to worry about long review sessions before a test. I have never studied for a Spanish test but the lowest score I’ve ever gotten on one is a 93. How? I did my homework.  

10. STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
Perfection = waste of time. Don’t spend 10 hours writing an essay if you know you can get the same grade by only spending 2. I used to believe that the most important thing was being proud of everything you put your name on but none of that matters when you haven’t slept in 48 hours.

11. Complete the difficult tasks first.
One of the many reasons people procrastinate is to avoid difficult tasks. If you save the hardest assignment for last, you’re more vulnerable to wasting time.

12. This one is very bad because it involves lying but it saved my grade a couple of times: ALWAYS turn in your homework.
Why? Rarely missing an assignment gives you a good reputation and teachers tend to trust hardworking students. If you ever forget to do an assignment and you’re known to be a good student, your teacher is more likely to believe your excuse. Or, if you really left it at home, he/she/they might give you an extra day.

13. GOOGLE DRIVE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND.
Can’t turn in your essay because you told yourself you’d print it in the morning and forgot? No worries! It’s in google drive! Need a past assignment for reference but have the copy at home? No worries! It’s in google drive!

14. Your study space significantly impacts productivity. Organize your room/space to maximize concentration/productivity.

15. MOST IMPORTANTLY, give yourself some time off.
If you don’t, you’ll eventually burn out and nothing will be able to motivate you again. I like to go watch a movie alone once in a while because it clears my mind for 2 hours. Being constantly bombarded with due dates can lead to massive anxiety issues. And guess what? You can’t get anything done if you’re having multiple panic attacks or if you’re in bed all day because you’re depressed. Take care of yourself. School can wait but your physical and mental health can’t.

Shiro and the Black Lion meta: “You Saved Me.”

I’ve been wanting to write this meta for a while, because after season 2 came out I’ve seen a lot of people characterise the Black Lion as disloyal or fickle, and I don’t think this is the case. I think the Black Lion is extremely loyal to Shiro, and very closely bonded to him; and I think she probably hates Zarkon as much as Shiro does. That might be a strange conclusion to come to after she literally spat Shiro out in the season 1 finale, so let’s break this down a little bit:

If you leave aside the incident in 1x11, the rest of the show portrays the Black Lion and Shiro as very closely bonded. In 1x02 Shiro is the only Paladin who’s able to do the nosedive exercise. At this point he’s been piloting the Lion for like… a couple of days MAX, but he’s able to bond with her to the point that he can see through her eyes. So far, we haven’t seen any of the other Paladins pull this off. The Lion/Paladin bond is a two-way thing - we see that clearly with Red and Keith - so we have to assume that this bonding moment is not just down to Shiro’s calm focus. It’s also coming from Black.

You can also see Black’s willingness to bond with Shiro in 2x07. Shiro goes down to the hangar, sits in the Lion, and goes: “Work with me. What do I have to do to strengthen our bond?” And the Lion is like: “YES BONDING! ALRIGHT! LET’S GO!!” She immediately powers up and whisks Shiro off on a spiritual journey. She invites Shiro to see through her eyes, and shows him her history and how she was made. Shiro asks ‘what do I have to do to strengthen our bond?’ and the Lion’s answer is 'you need to understand my history and where I come from’. And again - we’ve not seen any of the other Lions do this. Shiro is the only Paladin whose Lion has opened up about their past or told their Paladin this kind of visual story.

None of this is consistent with the characterisation of the Black Lion as disloyal. It certainly doesn’t seem like she mistrusts or dislikes Shiro, right? If anything, she seems positively eager to open up to him.

Which brings me to my theory about the Black Lion: I don’t think she’s fickle, or contrary, or lowkey still into her ex. I don’t think she likes Zarkon at all, or misses him, or wants him back as her Paladin.

I think she’s traumatised.

More under the cut, because sweet quiznak did this get long:

Keep reading

Okay, so I just binge read all thirteen chapters of Adventures of Supergirl, a comic series based on the CBS (now CW) show. And now I’m going to list little facts (semi-canon facts) for all you fan authors and artists for your shit. So here you go:

  • Kara lives in Hammersmith Tower, apartment 4-A.
  • Kara had a bully on earth during high school called Belinda-the-bully, who seemed to always beat Kara at Street Combat Six using a surprise uppercut TKO.
  • Also there were no video games on Krypton.
  • Kara has one hell of an uppercut thanks to Belinda-the-bully.
  • Kara has to calculate everything during a rescue. Air resistance, negative acceleration, matching the object’s speed. Like everything. Or else whiplash could kill victims or she’ll make a cater after every landing or things would crash against her as she catches them. Our girl knows how to multitask like a boss.
  • Kara does her calculations in Sulls, a weight measurement on Krypton. She problems converting these to pounds.
  • Alex is approximately 31 Sulls.
  • Kara isn’t that great with Earth’s physics. The Rokyn Society’s Gravitistics doesn’t line up with Newton’s laws all too well. She apparently tried to tell that to her ninth grade teacher while English wasn’t her first language.
  • Krypton didn’t believe in resolving conflict by physical violence. They first exhausted communication, every diplomatic option before disagreements got out of hand. So, that explains a lot about Kara’s temperament and hesitance to start a fight.
  • Kara talks to Clark a lot about people finding out about her identity and how it would affect the people she cares for.
  • Winn has a badass hijab-and-leather-jacket-wearing hacker friend named Rabiah Zinoman, who can go up against an alien who is practically a computer himself.
  • Did I mention her screen name is RazzleDazzle130?
  • Edit: She also explicitly mentions she does not date, which is typical of a devote Muslim, of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone (props for writers here?)
  • Speaking of screen names, Winn has several: Supergirl_In_Action252, Mufungo, and Dollm8ker (the latter being a throwback to his comic book roots).
  • … James apparently got turned into a turtle once? (I need a fic now!)
  • Kara had a college roommate named Donna, who was in love with Silence of the Lambs and would watch it every few weeks. After capturing and interrogating Fort Rozz criminals, Kara doesn’t like it that much anymore.
  • Kara’s father used to say, “Not my cup of Thoni tea.”
  • Kara learned how to control her dreams from the decades in the phantom zone. She dreamt of Kypton mostly. She used a Kryptonian dreaming technique called Tarukor for the control. She’s also so proficient in it that she went toe-to-toe with an alien known for manipulating/creating dreams.
  • Alex promptly calls Kara a dream warrior.
  • Kara, after dreaming/sleeping for decades, didn’t sleep much on earth the years following her landing. Now she mostly does it out of habit and normalcy.  
  • Alex and Kara saw My Chemical Romance in concert. Seriously just imagine scene teens Kara and Alex though.
  • Kara had a weird dream about Oscar Isaac once.
  • Cat milks stuff for days after a Supergirl fight.  
  • Kryptonians used sunstones as pictures. Like multi-faceted rocks with pictures on them.
  • Kara is very proficient in hand-to-hand combat (since she learned of the DEO), despite not learning it on Krypton. Without her powers, Kara can still kick your ass if she wanted to. She also really likes uppercuts.
  • Clark loves mysteries, grew up reading them and they are half the reason he became a reporter, wanting to uncover the secrets in people. They infuriate Kara, though, she just wants the world to be straightforward.
  • Alex doesn’t know Kryptonese.
  • Alex had a med school boyfriend that used to write poems about them together like “And so we fight, tooth and claw, with our backs to the wall.” That may have been the reason they broke up.
  • Cat apparently partied with cast of Hamilton.
  • Cat had lunch with Gwendoline Christie.
  • Hand of Krypton was its justice system’s greatest honor and heaviest responsibility. They were in service to Krypton’s future.
  • Kara went to Stanhope College.
  • College actually challenged Kara in academics her first year. Yes, Supergirl was brought low by Professor Haley’s Oceanography pop quizzes.
  • Kara did a huge research paper on doxing in college.
  • By her own admission, Kara graduated ‘top-ish’ of her class (knowing her though I headcanon that she was at least top ten).
  • Kara curses a lot more in Kryptonese than in English. Like a lot.
  • Kara learned (passable) English in a day. Our girl is a fast learner (do as you please with that information).
  • Midvale is in California, on the beach.
  • Kara can fly to about 40,000 feet before she’ll be at risk of being in space.
  • The DEO has at least one agent that wears hijab.
  • Clark says, “Truth, justice, and the American way,” Kara on the other hand would say, “Hope, help and compassion for all.

But seriously guys, go read them. The art, dialogue, and narration is colorful and amazing.They’re really fun and since we’re in hiatus they’re good fillers before Season Two starts. They’re about 99 cents apiece and there’s only thirteen chapters. 

Hey pals. Apparently this is a thing that we, as an internet femslash community, need, so it is time for Grouchy Aunt J’s Guide To Fandom Deportment.

1. I know that you really like your favourite actors, especially the ones involved in your fave wlw ships. I totally understand this! They are pretty, and wlw fandom is really fun, and if your ship is also a canon ship then it is super exciting and validating to see yourself reflected in media that you love. I, too, love that feeling and get really passionate about the media that I watch, which is why I am a Fandom Old.

2. The actors in your favourite ships are people. Like, real people, with anxieties and food preferences and sometimes they have weird hair days and some of them are introverted and some of them are extroverted, etc etc etc. When they are acting in your favourite media, they are going to work.

3. Part of an actor’s job these days is to sometimes be around on social media. Sometimes not! If they are kind/friendly/available on social media, that is a fun perk of someone who is going the extra mile for their job. You are not entitled to this.

4. Even if you super like a ship and are really passionate about fandom, there are things it is not alright to do. Actors are people, and when fans start treating them poorly it is unkind and potentially frightening or traumatic. Plus, your behaviour reflects badly on all fans and means that fandom as a whole doesn’t get to have nice things anymore. (Thanks, jerks.)

5. It is never okay to:

  • harass actors on social media because something about their character is interfering with your ship/they’re not supporting your ship enough/they’re supporting the wrong ship too much/their character is problematic/the ship you think their ship is better than is problematic/just whatever please stop it this is not their problem. Tweeting at them will not fix whatever is upsetting you on the show you like, but it is probably pretty hurtful for them and not something they should have to put up with.
  • harass/question actors who are involved in queer ships about their sexuality in public spaces. People’s sexuality is private, and being involved in portraying a queer canon or subtext ship doesn’t give fans the right to know about an actor’s queerness or lack thereof unless they choose to volunteer that.
  • tell actors on social media about any sexual fantasies you may or may not have about them, b/c sexual consent also applies to actors.
  • send actors unsolicited links to/hand bound novellas/lovingly hand-lettered scrolls of fanfiction, especially smutty fanfiction, especially especially if that author is not aware that their fic is getting sent to actors inappropriately.
  • send actors your nsfw fanart about them, or someone else’s nsfw fanart about them, oh my g o d.
  • ask them to read your fanfiction or autograph your fanfiction, damn.

5a. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: would I, or another a reasonable person, want to see this [insert fanwork of varying levels of nsfw] about a representation of myself/themselves? Most actors are actual people who find this just as upsetting as you might find it, if someone drew fanart of you and then brought it to your workplace.

5b. Yes, I know, there is a certain amount of distance involved in creating fanworks because they are about fictional characters and that storytelling and play is one of the things I love about fandom. But I also never, under any circumstances, would want any of the actors involved in my ships to read my fanfiction because it would be super uncomfortable and that’s the point

6. Also, your favourite actor’s non-actor family and friends are just that: not actors. Don’t bother them. Don’t - hypothetically - stalk them and try to catfish them to get information about your favourite actor. It’s super super not okay and it’s a huge boundary violation.

In conclusion: social media is super great and has changed fandom in a lot of neat ways, but having cool TV and movie actors available to connect with in that way is a privilege, not a right. Let’s all act like we are worthy of it.

anonymous asked:

Wait what happened with supergirl? Never really watched it but as usual theres chaos. I know theres an lgbt couple there did they die or something soph?

Well there’s two LGBTQ+ pairing in the show, one is canon “Sanvers” (Alex Danvers + Maggie Sawyer) and one is non canon “Supercorp” (Kara Danvers aka Supergirl + Lena Luthor)

This week-end was the Comic con and during an interview a member of the cast was asked to make a singing recap of the season, but while singing that recap he isolated the Supercorp ship and sang the words “They’re only friends! They’re never gonna get together!” while laughing hysterically, a majority of the cast present there laughed with him, including Melissa Benoist who plays one half of Supercorp - basically mocking the ship. 

Songs starts at 1:30

Later in the interview Katie McGrath who plays the other half of Supercorp tried to defend the ship (7:15) but she was rudely interrupted, which pissed everyone off even more.

Now what those actors don’t understand is that an LGBTQ+ fandom, whether their pairing is canon or not, is always gonna be a very sensitive and vulnerable fandom. Because there are so little representations of the community, those ships are extremely important (you can include Camren there), and a LOT of fans felt attacked and ridiculed by the “joke” that this actor made. 

After that things escalated quickly, the actor in question, Jeremy Jordan, send out a message to apologize but basically didn’t, he made it about him and not about what the real issue was,

He later understood his mistake and send another message :

Also a few tweets - I think he got it

Other members of the cast also responded, using the basic “I can’t be homophobe, I worked in theater, I have gay friends, the show has a canon gay ship…” etc - trying to defend their behavior.

Then a fan (https://chloeniccole.tumblr.com) send an fucking incredible email to Melissa’s rep to explain why the fandom was so upset and what an important thing shipping is for the community

To which they responded, completely missing the whole point 😒😒😒

Hi Chloe,
Thank you for your email.  
As someone who was present in the room yesterday during the impromptu, musical recap of S2 during MTV’s live stream with the cast of SUPERGIRL, I can speak as a voice of reason and with objectivity as this situation requires.  It’s entirely up to you to accept or deny the following…
I will not undermine your feelings or those of anyone who took issue with what you’ve perceived to be offensive.  However, as an activist, it’s very important that you take a step back before inflicting public scorn.  As a role model, it’s incumbent upon you to shape your understanding and engage in meaningful and respectful dialogue based on fact and motivation, and not just on whether your feelings were bruised.
You cannot fairly denounce Melissa or Jeremy or the cast for what they DIDN’T say. You cannot fairly characterize their verbiage or actions as “aggressive,” on the contrary.  They were having fun in a riff session and hardly at the expense of the LGBT community. You cannot fairly assume or rationalize why David Harewood or Katie McGraff didn’t participate so to substantiate your argument.  To enter into a sensitive debate, you have to be really careful about making baseless claims based solely on emotion.
Chloe:  neither Melissa or Jeremy or any of the cast members marginalized any individual, regardless of orientation, by saying “Kara and Lena” are just friends. They didn’t say “can’t be friends” or “shouldn’t be friends” OR remotely imply that “two female characters would never see each other in a romantic light in their whole lives.”  Then you take it one step further to accuse them of declaring “the incomprehensibility of a woman loving another woman” and “blatantly made a mockery of non-heterosexual women.”  It’s wholly irresponsible to publicly admonish anyone, as you have on your social media platforms, and I mean anyone, for such a broad and unsubstantiated interpretation of the S2 recap.
That, Chloe, is actually the definition of defamation.
Allow me to also clarify for you that other than Melissa who MTV brass placed next to host Josh Horowitz, the cast seated themselves. As did all 13 casts of films and television shows that I guided through MTV.  Unless David and Katie said they felt “isolated” in their positions in the back, I would recommend you walk back these statements as well.  
There are gross injustices globally of the LGBT community. This was not one of those occasions. You may feel slighted because the creatives behind the SG series didn’t lead the Kara-Lena relationship in a direction that would have made you happy and proud in S2. You cannot therefore accuse them of being anti-gay.  If Josh Horowitz instead engaged in a serious Q&A with the cast as to why they didn’t take that path and Melissa, Jeremy and the cast responded “Kara cannot be in a relationship with Lena because she’s SUPERGIRL” then I invite you to protest loudly and with far more aggression and passion than what you perceived from the cast yesterday.
You’ve indicted people who are genuine ambassadors of acceptance, compassion and equality and have proven as much, not on only Glee but on SUPERGIRL and in their own personal lives.  
As you continue your mission to right the wrongs in society and especially those inflicted on the LGBT community, I highly recommend you postulate your arguments soundly.
Thank you Chloe for reaching out.
Kindly,”

And now apparently Melissa’s team is threatening to sue her for defamation…

Also other people who are in the LGBTQ+ tv-show horizon responded to the whole thing - Kaitlyn Alexander from Carmilla 

And Emily Andras who’s the showrunner of Wynonna Earp 

Anyways this whole thing has just reached the medias, so I think we’re gonna be hearing about this for a little while.

The issue here is a very common one unfortunately - public figures just don’t take the time to think and educate themselves - even if it doesn’t look like it, this is homophobia, a very latent, unintentional, type of homophobia, but still homophobia. 

It might seem silly and taken out of proportion, but the community has been shut down and mistreated for so many years by the television industry that now even the smallest thing matters. Those ships have such a huge impact on people’s lives, it’s important, and it has taken fucking years for showrunners to understand that, and some still haven’t caught up #fuckyoujasonrothenberg. Showrunners like Emily Andras and a cast like the one of Wynonna Earp are what this community needs - people who take the time to educate themselves, learn from other’s mistakes and most importantly listen and respect the fans. Because at the end of the day the fans are the ones calling the shots, I know for a fact that a majority of the fandom would stop watching Supergirl right now if it weren’t for the Sanvers storyline. The LGBTQ+ community is one of the most loyal source of fans a show and an actor can have, we’re the fucking bomb, we get shit done and we love and ship harder than any other fans, but if you betray us or disrespect us, there’s no coming back, and we will fucking roast you.

Revenge on homophobic dad

So I came to visit my dad on Easter and I’ve never heard so many homophobic words in 6 fucking days. He went full on how gross and disgusting and all that homophobic bullshit and then - of course - he fetishised lesbians, because “they are nice to look at”. I got really pissed when he started to wonder if Church will let him change godfather for my brother, because the one he has Come out as gay couple weeks ago… I was like “what is wrong with you? I honestly want to know?!?!?”

I tried to use reasoning but it failed so now I’m in the middle of making my revenge in couple simple steps:

1. Go on yt and watch so many gay (les too but not two attractive models making out) videos ad you can so recommendation on yt will always show gays.
2. Go to his porn account (I just happened to know his login and password to everything so that’s not a problem) and also watch gay (this time male/male only) videos and like them, comment maybe so it will also jump on in recommendation.
3. Say you are gay. Bonus: Suggest having a gf and say that “those sleepovers you let me go to were total fun”
4. Trick him into watching gay movies(:
“Brokeback mountain” may not be a good to start with, because most people knows it’s gay. Better start with some less known movies) then watch him storm out the room when he reliased what he is watching.
5. Made him read gay ff - must be slowburn. I will tell him that I wrote it and he - as a good father and shit - should support my dreams and read this. Make him fully invested before he reliase it’s gay love story.
6. Find out how many celebrities he likes are gay. Watch movies with those people and when they appear on screen say “Did you know he/she is gay?”
7. Find out how many historical figures and his idols may be gay and destroy his image of them.
8. After this he will probably start to fight: “its not important that he is gay, because he did something and he is my Idol”. Make a face and make him understand what he just said.
9. If 8 happens give him a break because he starts to get it.
10. if 8 does not work just jump straight here and be as gay as possible. Mention things about pride during meals, show how much LGBT community suffered over the time, try to make him understand something (if he doesn’t plan vacation and place him in one room with gay uncle)

MAKE HIS HOMOPHOBIC LIFE A GAY HELL, BECAUSE HE DESERVES TO KNOW WHAT BIG ASSHOLE HE IS.
(I’m currently at point 2. Revenge Is on)

UPDATE (which i should add a while ago but I’m shit so yeah): https://futurepast56.tumblr.com/post/159791268652/revenge-on-homophobic-dad

 before i say anything else about all my thoughts and feelings on 210…

I LOVE THAT NICOLE IS MARRIED

yes, it’s something to be talked about big time between wayhaught. yes, it’s a big ‘ol ugly secret. not technically a lie but sins of omission.. yeah yeah yeah it is what it is.

But seriously, this is something I have never witnessed be addressed in lgbt rep. It’s something I never expected to see. And it’s so personal to me.

Personal story time literally nobody asked for: I got married shortly after the repeal of DADT in Washington DC at the ripe old age of almost 20. I was young, dumb, and in the military. I was also extremely aware of the history, the battles that lead to small political victories. A lot of us were. And a lot of us did get married simply because we finally could. It was a huge deal then - not too fucking long ago.

Same thing but on a much larger scale throughout the US: after the US Supreme Court “ruled” on the federal legalization of gay marriage, a literal fuck ton of us got married just out of the sheer euphoria at the fact that we could. It was monumental for us to have this right. So, some of us (a lot of us) jumped straight (lol) for it.

Did that mean a lot of young people getting married before they were in anyway ready for marriage? yeah, big time. 

I am one of those people who is still technically married just because divorce takes time. It takes a ton of time, a decent amount of money, and a significant (excruciating) toll on a twenty-something-year-old’s heart and mind.  

So allow me, if you will, to paint you a picture. You’ve been watching the politics play out the entirety of your young adult life. You’ve got a girlfriend who you love. The battles so many generations before you have fought and died for have finally, slowly, painfully, been won. You partake in the victory not just for your life and your love, but in the name of those who have fought and died for this before you. The weight of this victory is not lost on you in the slightest. So you get married. A year (if that) later, it doesn’t work out. Like about half of all marriages, yours fails. But divorce is expensive. It’s approximately one trillion times harder to get divorced than it is to get married. So, a few years later, you’re still legally married. You’ve met the absolute love of your life, and you are still married. You still have a wife out there who you don’t talk to. You are not in each other’s lives, but you’ve got that title still.

That is my exact situation right now as I’m writing this. And I never thought I would see that issue on TV. It is a real issue in the LGBT (well let’s throw the blanket term “gay” on it as I’m talking about gay marriage in particular) community. A lot of us are in real, committed, loving relationships but we have actual spouses still. This is a real issue in so many of our lives. And idk if Emily meant to write this in because she is aware this issue effects a lot of us or not, but it’s amazing to me that I am seeing myself actually represented not just as a lesbian, but as a lesbian who rushed into a marriage.

If I went to the hospital right now at this moment in some near death situation, my actual wife would be called. My gf who I live with, have the happiest and best relationship I’ve ever been blessed with, and plan on marrying someday would most definitely be the one by my side, but my actual wife may show up. 

Now, my gf knows about my wife. She’s still my wife. I can’t call her my ex-wife yet. Not legally. I told my gf before we even started dating about my whole situation. Yeah we’re separated. Yeah, the only time we talk is about legal stuff. But the fact remains, I am a married woman.

Now, let me add something really emotional to this picture: divorce fucking sucks. When you go for a divorce, there are certain feelings that come along with it that never go away like fucking scars. You feel like a failure. You feel stupid. You feel unlovable and dirty and shameful and guilty and like you aren’t worth it. You suddenly can’t stand being around your own friends anymore because they’re married and having kids. Everything is a reminder that you failed somehow, even when you know it’s not your fault. No matter what the reason for the divorce was, you are shattered. All the love in the world from your soulmate you might find later on doesn’t totally banish those feelings. Some days, you don’t even think about it. Some days, it hits you like a sack of bricks that you weren’t worth keeping promises to. Divorce is by far the most painful experience I’ve had, and I’ve broken a lot of bones and been through my share of disowned by family, going to sleep starving shit.

So it is not crazy at all that Nicole, who fell fast and hard for a girl she did not expect in a million years to light up her life the way she did, hasn’t found the right way to bring this thing up. Wayhaught has been together how long at this point? A few months? I’m guesstimating 4 at most? I find it hard to feel any kind of mad at Nicole for not bringing this up yet. It sucks to talk about because it hurts to you, who went through the pain of a failed marriage, and you have to consider how to not hurt the other person who loves you now with the fact that you had a commitment to another person in the past. A serious, legal one. It’s a shit position to be in. It’s a nearly unwinnable situation. And it’s one that takes time to process for the other person. There is a fat chance this marriage that isn’t valid to you anymore turns off the other person because it speaks to your flaws from a time when you were young, dumb, and reckless, and promised somebody else your love. I don’t blame Nicole at all for not bringing it up yet. Maybe that’s because I know the feeling. Maybe because like, when has there been the time for such a big discussion?

Honestly, the reason I told my gf about being married when I did, the way I did, was because I was trying to keep her from liking me. When we first met, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I had just gotten out of one literally days before we met at a concert. Then she starting hanging out at my place because my roommate was dating her friend. I knew she liked me, so I gave her all the dirt on me: I’m married, I drink, I’m a writer, I’m broke, I’m medicated, I have a bad leg, all the negative things. “I’m married” is not a good way to start a conversation. That will keep the ladies away, usually. I mean, ultimately in my life, it was good to have all the bad things in my past out in the air, and our relationship is like the funniest, best love story I’ve ever seen.

But let’s look at life in fucking Purgatory. All the times both Nicole and Waverly have been attacked, been nearly dead, maybe been actually dead, been possessed. They fight demons. Their lives aren’t normal, and they are always in danger. Bringing up a topic like legal marriage? As someone who is married and has been separated for years, there are days I don’t even think about or remember that I’m married anymore. It’s just not something that’s part of your life when you get caught up in school/work/puppy training/what have you. It’s not something on Nicole’s mind always, I can guarantee you that. And when she does think, oh maybe I should bring this up now, something insane like oh, my girlfriend’s possessed takes precedence. 

That was super long and unsolicited, but I think important. Nicole has always been an important character to me, but now exponentially more so because an issue has been addressed that does touch so many queer lives. I feel represented in a way I didn’t know I needed until I saw it tonight.

I want to say that I get why some people are mad about Nicole being married, but honestly, no. Sit down. Take a look at the community around you and real issues we deal with in our real lives. If you don’t want to see the hard part of our lives portrayed, what the hell are you talking about when you cry about wanting representation? If all you want to see women kissing and smiling, go watch porn. It’s just as realistic as this “representation” you say you want. You want positive representation, that is what we are getting in a way I feel so blessed to be witnessing. We have real characters in the media reflecting real struggles. We have a bisexual woman in a small town who is extremely apprehensive and makes rash decisions because she’s been through hell. We have a lesbian with a protector impulse which makes her prone to bad judgement calls but very good at her job, and she’s got a past that echos what so many of us lesbians living in the real world are going through. So, no, sincerely reexamine what it is you want these characters to be, because it’s not good representation. It’s fake. And it’s not doing anyone any favors. 

tl;dr: Nicole is the rep of my dreams. Learn some history. Fight me.

High School In Review (so far)+ Some Tips!!!

Hello everyone! I’m Niva and I am a student of the High School class of 2019.

Now I’ve been in high school for 2 years now, so I think that can give some pretty solid advice to ya little upcoming freshman and any person who is still struggling in high school. So buckle up ya seat belts and put on some shades, cause we’re about to take a LONG ride

I know there are tons of freshman advice videos and posts out here on tumblr dot com, so I’m gonna try and make mine unique

*Note: My HS experience is unique; your may not need any of these tips, so who knows. Also, this post contains profanity. I don’t know if y’all care, it just seems that the studyblr community are all these sweet angels who attend church every Sunday and read the Bible in their spare time.

~=+=~FRESHMAN AND SOPHOMORE YEAR~=+=~

my freshman overview: Look, this year was hardest compared to my sophomore year. One class literally ruined my life, my dudes. {humble brag} Throughout my entire life from PreK to 8th Grade, I had gotten straight A’s on all my report cards. My freshman year, I decided to take AP World History and BOY did it crush me. I made a C in the class first semester and a B in the second semester. Now, it was not the teacher at fault. In fact, I LOVED the teacher. I just was not interested in that class at all and the work matched with me being in Marching Band nearly sent me to my death bed. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just being 100% legit. This is also a PSA to all freshman offered to take APWH: This is one of the harder AP courses, and I wish one of my teachers had told me this before I decided to take the class (they probably did and I ignored them). This also was my first year in marching band and I’m telling you right now, if you’re wondering whether or not you should do marching band, do it. Even if you just do it for one year, it’s fuckin worth it mate. 

my sophomore overview: This year was SIGNIFICANTLY easier. During my freshman year, the way the schedule was set up was an A/B schedule; your schedule would alternate. On A days, you’d have these 4 classes and on B day, another 4. My sophomore year, they changed that and it was a bit easier for me. Not that I didn’t like the A/B schedule (I loved it), it was just a lot easier to manage classes. I only had one AP class this year, because I couldn’t take AP Lang because of schedule conflicts. ANTYWAYS, AP Gov is one of the easiest classes I took. My teacher was extremely chill and put a curve on every test and quiz, so that’s mainly why I didn’t fail. Marching band was much easier to handle since I already had experience. This was also the year I quit TSA (technology student association) and VEX Robotics, due to scheduling conflicts with band. And, to be quite honest, neither of the clubs were fun lmao. Literature class was annoying, because I got stuck in a class that DIDNT WANNA DO ANYTHING. They didn’t wanna read along, read at all, do projects, breathe, etc. (if you need tips on how to handle a trash class, just ask and I might make a post on that lol). Chemistry was purgatory, not hell, just purgatory. It was hard but not too hard that I didn’t pass. Math has never been hard for me so nothing really changed with that class. This year I brought back my streak of All A’s, so this school year was the best of the two in my eyes.

~=+=~The TIPS~=+=~

1. Normally, freshman don’t take AP classes, but if you are, be prepared. Depending on the class subject, you’re gonna have to do a hell of a lot more than just read the chapters once and do one page of notes. Try to always be ahead of the class and start some sort of study group. 

2. You’re best friend does not need to be your project partner all of the time. Seriously. If you have friends like mine, you will sit on your phone looking at memes on twitter for a long ass time before you ever start your project. Try doing a solo project every once in a while.

3. Don’t randomly join clubs. I was offered to join BETA Club and I didn’t wanna do it, so I didn’t. Don’t do clubs cause it looks nice cause 90% of the time, that one club won’t affect anything.

4. Save money. If you’re in marching band, dear god, save your money. School might as well be charging you to breathe. Everything cost SO MUCH MONEY. If you need to, set up a secret money jar so your parents don’t hijack your money.

5. Make new friends. Unlike most people apparently, I didn’t lose any friends. I do talk to certain people less because of class schedules, but we’re still friends. There is a small ass chance you’re gonna get caught in a class full of upperclassmen and no friends, and I had that situation. It’s not fun. Eventually, you’ll make a friend in that class, so don’t panic. But, anyways, new school, why not make new friends?

6. Don’t? Switch? Lunch? Tables? Okay, I don’t mean that someone’s gonna like sucker punch you out of your seat like in the movies. I mean like if we’re 5 months into the school year, don’t just randomly change your table, because …just don’t do it.

7. Don’t be that person who purposely gets on the teacher’s nerves to make class harder.

8. If you hate one of your teachers, suck it up buttercup. You have a choice of passing or failing, don’t let a teacher ruin an A in class for you.

9. Try and be on the other side of drama. It’s much more fun to watch drama go down, that to actually be involved in it.

10. Be early (if you can). I ride the bus, so I have no choice. But, there is legit no reasons for you to be walking into the class 10 minutes late, because you thought you could sleep an extra 5 mins.

11. I know your literature class is getting boring. This is probably your 7th consecutive year of learning the difference between a simile and a metaphor. I don’t know why they continue to reteach that stuff, but they do. All I can say is utilize what their teaching in some way, so that you don’t feel like the class is completely useless.

12. We all have that one class that you just do nothing in. Take advantage of that and get work done. I don’t have a “study hall” class so, any time you have to do work, use it.

13. Go to at least some of the school events. You can get relatively free food. 

14. Look, I could not care less if you skip school. But, don’t do it often and if you can, don’t do it ever. 

15. If you’re gonna eat in class, don’t eat something obvious like Lays Chips or a whole orange

16. Make friends with your teacher. Don’t be like creepy, but like, don’t have a bad relationship with your teacher.

17. Sophomore year, start thinking about college. You may think it’s too early, but it’s not. At least have an idea of what you want to major in.

18. If you can, get your permit as soon as you turn 15. Please don’t be like me. I still cannot drive and getting from Point A to Point B is harder than the VESPR Theory.

19. Disrespectful classmates are just an opportunity for you to get special privileges in class. If you’re class is disruptive and you’re just a sweet little angel, the teacher will most likely be more lenient with you. My teacher literally gave me a 100 on a project I turned in a day late (supposed to be 5 points off) because literally me and this other girl were the only ones who turned the project in.

20. Do your homework the day you get it. I don’t give a damn if it’s due in two days or two months, do it right then and right there.

21. In your language class, please try. Nobody likes the kid who doesn’t participate. If the teacher asks,  ¿Como estas?, you better fuckin say ¿Bien, y tu? back.

22. If you’re in a situation like mine, you’re gonna have a class you didn’t sign up for, yet somehow you got it. Just deal with it. If you can’t change your schedule, that’s all you can do. Just do the assignments and hope you pass.

23. Okay, most schools don’t have a “popular” group. But all schools definitely have the Prep group. You know, those kids. If you’re not one of them, just ignore them. If you are one of them, stop being so goddang stuck up and realise that you have an annoying voice. If you are not sure if you are a prep, you most likely are not.

24. My school doesn’t use lockers purely based on the fact that it would take too long for kids to get to them and back to class since my school is so big. So, if you also do not have lockers, make sure your bookbag can handle one full school year. I cannot stress this enough. You don’t wanna walk around school with a 15lb bookbag and only one functional strap.

25. Eat the school food. It’s honestly not as bad as the internet makes it. Like…eat ya pizza and enjoy it.

26. If your single and you want a relationship, please do not get a crush on random people like me. Someone would let me borrow a pencil and I would fantasize about a wedding for the next 2 days. I know it’s hard being lonely, but being in a relationship won’t get you a college scholarship.

27. Don’t drink a lot during school. There’s gonna be a teacher with a restriction on the bathroom because for some reason, they think bladders have a specific schedule to follow.

28. Don’t be that freshman that dates every senior in sight. If you have a relationship with a senior and it lasts, great. I’ve seen it happen, but 90% of the time it does not. 

29. Likewise, if you have a friend that’s running you up the wall with their problems, specifically relationship problems. Find a way to distance yourself from them, or even better, get them help from someone else.

30. If you have Type 4 hair (or type 3, it depends), you gotta do your hair at least 3 days in advance, especially if your hair is short. I don’t know a single person with kinky hair who can wake up and just simply throw their hair up.

31. Look, man. Just look here. Look at me in my eyes and listen. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU ARE GONNA HAVE SEX USE A CONDOM! USE A CONDOM OR DONT HAVE SEX AT ALL. I’m not speaking from personal experience, but I many of girls have gotten pregnant at my school

32. If you’re gonna do drugs, don’t. Don’t be stupid. Especially if you’re in a school club or sport. You are subject to random drug tests at all times. 

33. Try not to let people affect the way you dress. Wear what you want.

34. Something about you is gonna change. Your personality, your look, your aesthetic. Whatever changes, don’t be stuck up. Nobody likes stuck up people; not even stuck up people like stuck up people.

35. You know those posts that are like “Grades don’t determine intelligence?” Yeah, well they don’t determine your intelligence, but they can determine where you get into college (if you wanna go) and how you’re seen and perceived by teachers. At least, try to pass.

36. If you can, take the ACT or SAT or whatever standardized test you have for your schools. I had an opportunity to take the SAT in 4th, 7th, and 8th grade for $35…and I didn’t take it once. I heavily regret it. Mainly I didn’t take it, because, at the time, it was hard for my mother to pay for it when we had much bigger problems, but like, if you have the opportunity and the funds to take those tests, take them.

37. Don’t rely on quality points. In my school (they’ve gotten rid of this now though), if you’re in an AP class you got 10 extra points and if you were in an Honors/PreAP class, you got 5 points. Colleges look at your grades without the points. The only purpose for these quality points is so that kids in CP classes don’t get valedictorian or some shit idk

38. If you’re in America, you’re gonna have somebody walking around school in a Trump shirt. By all means, beat their ass, but know the consequences. Also, if you’re gonna talk about politics with somebody, please know at least the bare minimum. At least know what the Hillary email scandal is before you try and defend her. Same goes for my friends across the pond. You see someone supporting Theresa May, beat their ass, know the consequences, and learn politics.

39. Actually? Check? Your? Grades? I know so many people who just don’t know what they’re grades are. Know you’re grades so you always know where you stand.

40. I wanna say class rank does not matter, but if you’re anything like me, you’re gonna obsess over it for a while. I know you wanna be in the Top 5, but if you’re no where near it, you’re gonna have to work EXTREMELY HARDER THAN NORMAL. Try not to make a huge deal out of it, unless you’re aiming for Valedictorian.

41. Moisturize ya self. Don’t nobody like ashy knees and elbows. Invest in some lotion.

42. Listen. We all hate dress code. But just follow it. You can’t do anything about it. Just wait til the weekend to wear your spaghetti strap shirt and ripped jeans. And if you wear leggings and you have a wide hip and butt area, you are definitely going to be called out. If you’re not sure if you’re breaking dress code with what your wearing, bring an extra shirt and jeans just in case.

43. Go the fuck to sleep. Don’t be up at ass o’clock in the morning doing who-knows-what on the internet. I know from experience. You may think you can survive 8 hours of school with 2 hours of sleep, but as the day goes on, you’re not gonna want do anything at all, but sleep. But hey, if 2 hours of sleep works for, go ahead. It’s not healthy but I can’t regulate your life.

44. If you walk in the wrong class, everyone will forget about it after the a good 2 days. Literally nobody cared that much. Just walk out and forget about it.

45. If you have a phone, get your friends numbers/contacts/emails. You’re gonna need them for homework sooner or later.

46. To all those uber religious people out there, drop the clean act. If you hear somebody say “fuck”, get over it. I don’t know how else to say it. Teachers cannot stop somebody from cursing completely. People are gonna have sex, people are gonna cuss, people are gonna be inappropriate, and all you can do is focus on yourself.

47. Wear deodorant. You will be surprised at the amount of people who don’t. 

48. Studyblr is fun. Studyblr is nice. That being said, studyblr is not the end of the world. If you don’t have a bullet journal, just use the calendar in your phone or have an online bujo. Don’t let studyblr take up 90% of your study time, because scrolling through the studyblr tag is not studying.

49. Don’t be that kid that walks around with fucking surround sound speakers on their back. Wtf, like invest in some headphones my guy.

50. Never buy a 1 inch binder. Always 2 inch and above, unless you know for sure you only need a 1 inch.

51. You are gonna have a set of people you absolutely hate that for some reason, you cannot get away from them. The best you can do is ignore them.

52. If you’re required to take a Fitness class and you are a festively plump child or an unhealthy/unfit person such as myself, you are going to be embarrassed at some point. Look. I cannot give you advice that’s gonna raise your self-esteem, but I can tell you that if you don’t pay attention to anyone else, it’s much easier to get through that class. The fitness gram pacer test doesn’t last forever. Likewise, don’t treat fitness class like the fucking Olympics. The coach asked for 10 pushups not 100.

53. Extra Credit is your friend. Even if you have a 100 in a class, extra credit doesn’t hurt.

54. Do not walk slow in the hallway, please. I like getting to class on time. If you plan on having a conversation in the hallway, only do it if you walk and talk at a reasonable speed.

55. If you ride the bus, get up at least 45 minutes before the bus gets there. I don’t have a big morning routine, so half of the time in the morning, I just scroll through twitter. Wake up early enough to get everything done.

56. C’s get degrees, my friend, but C’s don’t get scholarships.

57. If you wear AXE Body Spray or any perfume/cologne, I want you to know that your smell occupies the entirety of the hallway you’re on. Please, use only a small amount of fragrance, because not only do they most likely stink, some kids have asthma and some kids are allergic to fragrances. Just refrain from wearing strange smelling spays.

58. If you’re a theatre kid or sport kid, don’t be completely set on becoming a professional singer/actor/athlete. Have a Plan B. The last thing counselors wanna hear when they ask you what you want to be when you grow up, is a NBA Player.

59. To all my shy people out there, that speech you have to give doesn’t last forever. In fact, it may only last 3 minutes. In my literature class, we were required to recite lines from Romeo and Juliet, for some odd reason, and I made such a big deal out of something that barely affected my grades.

60. For this last and FINAL tip of this post, don’t give up. I didn’t wanna be generic, but here the fuck! I! am!!! When I took AP World History, part of the reason I ‘failed’ was because I just stopped trying. I would make low C’s on the test and just think, “Well I didn’t pass, might as well just give up.” Well, no shit you didn’t read the chapter. If you’re trying all you’ve got and you’re just not making it, talk to the teacher. That’s one thing I regret from my freshman year. I just gave up. I didn’t try and get help because I felt that getting help meant that I was stupid. It doesn’t. It just means you’re smarter for trying to get a good grade.

WELL THAT’S ALL FOLKS! Sorry if my cursing doesn’t fit your aesthetic, too bad. I can probably think of 40 more tips to make this 100, but I didn’t want this post to be extremely long (lol good job on that). Anyways, if you ever want any help, feel free to message me, but I’m not that good at text conversations or conversations in general so I’m your last resort.

TO THE UPCOMING FRESHMAN: Have a great first year of high school! You’re about to enter a new life where the teachers are more serious and, yes, coloring still somehow counts as a grade.

TO THE UPCOMING SOPHOMORES: I know. You’ve only been here one year and your tired. Have hope. You’re one year closer to that diploma.

Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception

Writing with color receives many questions regarding the stereotypes Characters of Color and their story lines may possess.

There’s a difference between having a three-dimensional character with trait variance and flaws, versus one who walks the footsteps of a role people of their race/ethnicity are constantly put into. Let’s discuss this, as well as how sometimes, while there’s not much issue with the character, a biased audience will not allow the character to be dimensional.

But first: it’s crucial to consider the thinking behind your literary decisions.

Trace your Logic 

When it comes to the roles and traits you assign your characters, it’s important to ask yourself why you made them the way they are. This is especially true for your marginalized characters.

So you need an intimidating, scary character. What does intimidating look like on first brainstorm? Is it a Black man, large in size or presence? (aka a Scary Black Man) A Latino with trouble with the law? If so, why?

Really dig, even as it gets uncomfortable. You’ll likely find you’re conditioned to think of certain people in certain roles on the spot.

It’s a vicious cycle; we see a group of people represented a certain way in media, and in our own works depict them in the way we know. Whether you consciously believe it’s the truest depiction of them all or not, we’re conditioned to select them for these roles again and again. Actors of Color report on being told in auditions they’re not performing stereotypical enough and have been encouraged to act more “ethnic.” 

This ugly merry-go-round scarcely applies to (cis, straight) white people as they are allowed a multitude of roles in media. Well, then again, I do notice a funny trend of using white characters when stories need a leader, a hero, royalty, a love interest…

Today’s the day to break free from this preconditioned role-assigning.

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Humans Are Weird

It is well established among all sentient species that Humans are Weird. Exceptional Humans, however, make the regular humans seem almost tame in comparison.
Yatrov was to show the newest crew member- another Human- “the ropes”, as Human Jenny phrased it.
Upon arriving, however, the newest Human barely spared xir even a glance, which was odd, seeing how Humans prize interaction above all else. Shrugging it off, xe delicately held out a clawed hand to engage in the Human positive-meeting greeting, a “hand-shake” it was aptly named. “I am known as Yatrov, in Human Common tongue. I am sorry to say that I was unable to read your file report, and am thus left without your name. What is it you wish to be called?” Yatrov was genuinely sorry; the ship was in dire need of repairs, and this Human was coming to help.
Instead of taking the proffered hand, the human’s brown eyes stared into xi’s own violet. “I am Giovanni. And you are approximately 7 minutes late. I do not fault you for your tardiness, your job is a busy one, so your apologies are void. I do not need to see the entirety of this ship, I only require the engine room. Take me there and I will begin repairs immediately. Social niceties and other such meaningless things can be done at a later date, if done they must be at all.”
Yatrov felt somewhat slighted; xe’s species did not greet with touch, but it was seen as an insult- a social misdemeanor- to deny the shaking of hands. Attributing it to the Human having been under circumstances that made him “cranky” and to the fact that the Human was excited to work- humans forgot norms when excited, xe had found- Yatrov continued to try to create a pack-bond with this Human, “I have heard many great things about you.”
“Truly?” The Human considered this for a moment, head tilting, “I am merely faster than most, mentally. A marathoner or racer is not spoken of in as high-esteem as those with quick mental facilities are, are they?” The Human was speaking out loud, xe found this practice odd and ignored it. “What exactly have you heard?” The Human tapped their legs with their fingers, adopting a rhythm unknown to xir, and hummed. 
Arrogance or curiosity? “Admittedly, not much has been told. I know that you have several thesis papers, have repaired and improved upon numerous ships, and that you were good enough that our captain was surprised that you even bothered to consider joining our crew.”
“Huh.” And that was that. Giovanni did not speak after that, made no effort to communicate. Giovanni did not try to obtain physical contact. Giovanni remained aloof with even Human crewmates long after he had joined. He also remained fidgety, seemingly unable to keep still, unless it was to engage in a staring contest with the resident cat- to keep the Humans from adopting a weird, deadly creature- or to continue his single-minded work with machinery.
Three weeks after he had joined, the ship was attacked. Vernians boarded the ship, using their many appendages to apprehend multiple members of The Highlight- the ship- at once. No one knew where Giovanni was, and no one would have been surprised if he had left to save his own hide.
Which was precisely why everyone, who were all bound and trying to negotiate with what was essentially pirates, was surprised when Giovanni came around the corner, a knocked out Vernian held under gun point.
Guns pointed at him, Vernians shifted to attack him. “What you need to know: firstly, I have hacked into your language processors. All Vernae will sound like gibberish.” He paused, then grinned ferally. “Try”, he dared.
“Kir-ah?!” They did, and did not seem pleased with the results.
“Back! Restore!” the voices of Vernians screeched, their language translators on the fritz. 
“Secondly,” he paused, “I will shoot your friend if you do not release my own.” When an uproar of shouting started again, he blandly stated, “Blank point will be quite messy, won’t it?” He hummed, as though in thought, though his eyes trailed after every movement the Vernians made.
A smaller one, likely emotionally closer to the Vernian Giovanni was holding captive,  pounced.
ZZZZZT-PA! The Vernian howled, two of its 11 “arms” gone. “My threat is not idle.”
The room quieted, members of the Highlighter slowly being released.
“Thirdly.” His lips pursed, his nose tilted, sneer deadly, “Run, and pray that I never see you again!” He shot a wall, and they scattered, leaving the crew of The Highlighter mostly unscathed.
It was hours later, after the chaos was settled and the ship fixed up again, that Yatrov approached Giovanni.
“Why did you save us?”
Giovanni scrunched his thick eyebrows together, “Why ever would I not?”
“You make no attempt to communicate with us.” Yatrov insisted, trying to discover the reason Giovanni would do something without some sort of gain.
“Oh, that.” He dismissively waved his hand, his face again lax and bored. “I do not see the point in wasting words. I enjoy the presence of the crew, and- while I see no point in engaging in it- their idle chatter is amusing to listen to.” He raised an eyebrow, “Why do you ask?”
“The crew operated under the belief that you disliked us.” Yatrov felt a small bit of shame; clearly, Yatrov had been wrong to assume that all Humans were so similar.
“I-” He looked hurt, eyes filling with water- tears, they were called, and Yatrov knew that this was not a good sign. His lips twitched, his words near whispered, “Did you not consider me a friend? I thought we were.” He had begun nervously threading his fingers, humming lightly.
“I thought you disliked me.” Yatrov’s admission only increased xir’s guilt, and the slight tremors of the Humans smaller body.
“I made you and the others a new computer.” Giovanni’s eyes searched Yatrov’s one, and again found no solace. A computer did not equate to friendship. “I *made* you and the others a new computer.” The emphasis hit Yatrov. Why would one handmake something if the person receiving it did not matter to them.
“I am sorry.” Yatrov paused, xe had seen it in a Human film once, maybe…? “Can we start over?” A small nod eased Yatrov’s mind and reaffirmed xir’s decision. “I am the one known as Yatrov, and I enjoy reading: fiction, typically.” Xe did not hold out his hand, but stared Giovanni right in the eye.
The smirk on Giovanni’s face told xir that the actions- or lack there of- was not missed. “I am known as Giovanni.” He held out his hand, looking smug and slightly proud of remembering this, as their hands clasped, he said, “I enjoy sandwhiches, science, and conversations on how realistic or achievable a work of fiction can be. It will be a pleasure to work with you.”

Humans were odd, but exceptional Humans lived by a very different set of rules. Intelligence changed their perceptions. Yatrov knew, from personal experience, that they were still Human, still fantastic and horrifying, at their core. Yatrov put down the book xe was reading, looking up to watch Giovanni’s animated expressions as he ranted about machinery. Yes, truly, Humans are Weird.


(Please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes, my hand has been cramping up lately and it is hard to write at the moment. And I should not be writing sci-fi, because it is NOT my forte, but I had a plot-bunny and felt the need to attempt it. This is basically a shortened version of what I wanted to write, skipping over much of what I actually wanted to put down. Feel free to take the general idea and write something better XD )

Try to rip people off with shady flipped houses? Watch me flip your bank account.

So I don’t think this is entirely pro, but this just happened and I’m quite pleased with myself. Sorry for how long it is, I’m a wordy person.

Background: my girlfriend and I have been trying to buy a house for a month or two. Housing market where we live is tough, we don’t have a huge income, most houses sell within 24 hours, etc so it’s been a struggle. About a month and a half ago we found a house that was PERFECT. In the neighborhood we wanted, 2 bed 2 bath, at the very top of our price range but still doable, etc etc. Best part is that it’s beautifully renovated, new roof, everything is new and gorgeous! We put in an offer, but get outbid by someone else (which is crushing, if you have yet to experience that).

We mourn and then continue searching for other houses….until we get a call from our agent saying that the other buyers backed out and the seller is offering it to us first before putting it back on the market.

A quick important note here: the seller is the owner, but is also acting as his own real estate agent, and he runs his own business buying foreclosures and flipping them. This is important later.

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the reason why you should watch/read Doukyuusei

i know i someone has probably done this already but i just want to truly display why I love “Doukyuusei” so much.

the movie and manga’s visual art is stunning, with a simplistic art-style and light lines with lighter colors. the gorgeous aesthetic is simply too attractive to pass.

the voice acting is simply breath-taking, the well known Hiroshi Kamiya (Levi of snk, Yato of noragami, and Choromatsu of osomatsu) plays Kusakabe Hikaru. 

whereas, Kenji Norima (Chiba Mamoru of sailor moon crystal, Taihei Doma of himouto! umaru chan, and Natsuya Kirishima of free! starting days) plays Rihito Sajou

they play the parts of nervous and shy teenagers in high school beautifully, with all of the normal “hiccups and stutters” of a teenager confessing to a loved one. 

however, the most important part of this movie is the message.

the movie’s portrayal of youth finding their sexuality is just so accurate to the real thing, something you do not often find in the shounen-ai community. 

the “but we’re boys” comment is mentioned, but is not a revolving issue of the relationship between our two protagonists Kusakabe and Sajou. it is mentioned but quickly dismissed as they realize their feelings for one another.

the two boys suffer the same hardships that any person going through a relationship will suffer such as school and college, and not only that they move at a normal pace of a healthy relationship. 

in contrast to the trope in bl stuff today, the couple does not have intimate interactions until they have been going out for a year and this is just deep kissing. this is realistic for a high-school couple of japan, thus displaying how NORMAL a same-sex relationship really is as many depictions of shounen-ai couples have had the couple have bedded one another within days of their “get-together.”

the movie not only depicts a warm and loving romance between two young-men and their innocent love for one another, it also pushes for the acceptance of same-sex couples, showing that they are not any different than the social norm.

same-sex couples have blushing confessions. same-sex couples have arguments. same-sex couples have confusion and thought.

just… this story and series is gorgeous and stunning and something i would absolutely recommend to anyone.

Why You Should Read/Watch Gangsta

1. Ethnically Diverse Cast

Gangsta takes place in the fictional city of Ergastulum and it is where the main subjects of the story, Twilights -or Tags- try to coexist with humans. And due to things such as prison overcrowding and becoming home to refugees, the city became a very populated and diverse place and you can see things such as interracial couples and even important characters that are POC/ mixed such as:

Nicolas Brown (mixed- Asian/White)

Alex Benedetto (mixed- Black/Asian)

Galahad Woehor (black)

Doug (mixed- Black/???)

Worick Arcangelo (white)

Yang (Chinese)

2. Disabled Main Character That Kicks Major Ass

One of the main characters, Nicolas Brown, is deaf and often communicates using sign language (and on occasions, he will talk though his voice is distorted and slurred).

However, despite Nicolas being deaf, this guy will easily kick someone’s ass all over town with his katana.

In fact, that’s what he’s most known for: being able to kick someone’s ass even though he can’t hear a thing. Making him notorious throughout the streets of Ergastulum.

There’s also another male main character, Worick Arcangelo, who only has one eye and is sight-impaired because of it. He doens’t let it get to him though and his disability doesn’t make him any less threatening than Nicolas and Ergastulum also knows to fear the one-contract holding normal who’s apart of the Benriya Trio.

3. Badass Female Characters  

Probably one of the top reasons you should ever consider this series– the female characters are amazing. Despite some of the girl’s large busts, they aren’t being used for just plain fanservice and actually bring something to the show with varying aspects.

We have Alex, a former prostitute who suffers from PTSD,

but she is brave and won’t let her inability to fight stop her from jumping in to help her friends, even against people who are clearly stronger than her.

Loretta, one of the most accomplished girls in the story at a young age –15 to be precise– who is the leader of her own mafia family. She has men to do her bidding and to use at her disposal, but she blatantly refuses to sacrifice them and let them die needlessly– so she joins the fight too.

Connie, even when out numbered and overpowered due to her status as a normal(human)– she fights. She isn’t indestructible and she isn’t strong, but that’s exactly what makes Connie a powerhouse. She doesn’t step down and her willpower to survive and protect the people she cherishes most is outstanding.

And this is only to name a few of the beautiful women that grace this series (and the ones that aren’t even Twilights). 

4. Accurate Use of Japanese Sign Language

Though this possibly should have gone after reason number two, I digress. Another good reason to start looking at Gangsta is the fact that legitimate sign language is used and could be even be educational in the fact that you can practice reading it.

However, keep in mind that this Japanese Sign Language, so for those who already know some form of sign language– here’s a chance to pick up another type just in case you might actually be heading to Japan and encounter a person who knows it.

5. A LGBTQA Couple

Though not much has been explored on these two characters, Gina Paulklee and Ginger are two Twilight women that happen to be in an implied relationship with one another. Heavily so.

So if you want a series with an actual lesbian couple that isn’t just yuri-exclusive and it’s ACTUALLY canon, Gangsta is the series for you.

6. Nina

Nina is possibly one of the most precious characters in Gangsta and a constant ray of sunshine when things get too dark. She’s a nurse-in-training who works for a gruff doctor named Theo and is a very open-minded, gentle person who doesn’t discriminate people due to colour or species.

She’s not portrayed as a weak little girl either and will jump in a surgery as fast as possible, getting info as she prepares.

Also, Nina and Nicolas’s uncle/brother-niece/sister relationship is one of the most endearing and adorable things ever.

7. Delico

Another precious child who must be protected at all costs and is a total bae. (His tarot card representation is the hanged man like Kaneki, you know he needs a protection squad!)

8. Just An Interesting Series In General

Gangsta takes an interesting twist on things like discrimination with it’s dog tag wearing characters called Twilights and the mafia. The diverse cast of characters extends past the fact that they are different races and delve into deeper things like, what past events shaped up their current personality or reasons that lead to make certain decisions with their lives even if it wasn’t the best choice.

The girl characters are used for more than fanservice and there are more than just hetero couples, LGBTQA and interracial couples all included.

While this may be a phrase used to describe many other anime/manga, Gangsta is a series that is taking the otaku community by a storm due to bringing what other, more mainstream stories, fail to include in their storylines and Kohsuke is doing a wonderful job with it.

So at the very least, check out the first chapter or episode of Gangsta and give it a chance because this is a series that is worth a try.

First Contact

This is a very hasty opening section to a story I’m going to write about Humans being the weird ones. For the most part, I’m just going to use the concepts I like and leave out the ones I don’t I also refuse to make the aliens talk like fucking morons such as everyone else does. it pisses me off. there is no reason for them to be both polite and also use regular words instead of sounding like they are vomiting a thesaurus. I also used terms like Light Year and Light Minute even though they are subjective terms applicable only to the ear’s solar cycle because it is better than making up terms that have no context but essentially mean the same thing.


Also, I suck at writing so I apologize in advance.


———————————————————————————————————–


It started three hundred million years ago. The Dareth species was spreading across the galaxy. In only a few hundred years, they had completely conquered it, and had devoted their resources to moving beyond to other galaxies. After a few thousand years, they had taken more and more regions, never stopping, declaring all space to belong to them. But finally, in a supreme effort through the combined forces of 538 hundred species, one galaxy worked together to reclaim their systems. After that monumental and unique victory, the other galaxies followed suit and fought to own their systems again. It took nearly 5,000 years, but the efforts of 247 galaxies containing 350 million species drove the Dareth down to a single solar system.  Trillions of lives were lost from all sides, but the megalomaniacal Dareth were nearly destroyed.

Once they had won, the leading species of the revolution held mass executions, reducing the Dareth to a few hundred children, all in their adolescence. Stripping them of all clothes and tools, they were marooned on a hostile planet in a distant galaxy over 50 billion light years away, devoid of life. The planet was carefully chosen, a careful balance of being able to support life, while also being borderline inhospitable. It was filled with dangerous animals, few edible foods, and was plagued with extreme biomes and fluctuating weather.

No one really expected the children to live, but they thought that they would at least offer the chance. Once they were on the planet, deemed “prison 1”, all species immediately broke contact. And after a few hundred years, they also slowly stopped monitoring the Dareth children who miraculously survived. Since they were children, they were mostly uneducated in the ways of production and the manufacturing of advanced technology, so they initially were capable of little more than cave dwelling and hunting with stone weapons. They developed very slowly, and it seemed that no one had to worry about the Dareth again. After several million years, people referred to them mainly as a mythological monster race, no one really believing that the Dareth really ever existed. They faded into obscurity, eventually remembered only in a legend only history fanatics knew of.

Until one day several millions of years later, that is. An expeditionary task force was exploring a barren galaxy, and came across a primitive radio signal. They traced the source to a solar system a few light years away. Upon entry, they must have triggered an ancient outpost; a message appearing on the main screen. The words were incomprehensible, but a translator ran a few algorithms and after several minutes, showed the message in the crew’s native language. Unfortunately, the message was so short that the software could not fully translate the whole message.

W-rn—: You h-ve e-tered – forb-dde- sector. You h-ve f-ve m–utes before –uthor-t-es t-ke –ct-o-. To        -vo-d arrest, e-ther e-ter your p-ss code or le-ve –mmed—tely for your ow- protect-o-.

A count down timer followed the message.  Unfortunately, the software took a few minutes to translate, and by the time it finished, the counter was in the last 30 seconds.

“What language is that?” Admiral Hot’ath asked no one in particular, knowing full well that all known languages (over 2 trillion) were in the ship’s computer and would have identified it within seconds. Typing a search into the fleet’s contact list, he called the head Archivist “I need you to analyze this message.” He ordered, attaching both the original and translated message to a file, sending it to the Archivist. “Tell me if you think it is an ancient language, or a foreign one.” The female only glanced at it before answering.

“Ancient. I can’t read it, but it strongly resembles Standard Intergalactic it is either a more archaic and older form, or a language that coincidentally is similar to our ancient dialect.”

The admiral nodded in understanding. The message was nothing to be concerned over. The solar system was cordoned off so long ago, that everyone had forgotten that it was even there. Thusly, there were no authorities coming to get them, so they had time before deciding whether to leave or not.

“Sir.” The captain of the flagship interrupted. “Even if no one is here, there is a reason this area was blackzoned, and if anyone finds out we were here, legal actions can still be taken against us.”

He nodded knowingly. “Where did this message originate?”

The communication officer answered. “A small outpost on the planet furthest from the system’s star.” The man brought the co-ordinates up on the main bridge screen. The navigation officer quickly followed up with a map of the system, marking where the planet was.

“We can at least go there.” The admiral said firmly. “If nothing else, we can legally go that far and collect data.” The captain nodded, plotting a course on the map and sending it out to the rest of the fleet.

They planned a small expeditionary force to explore the station and gather artifacts and information. What they found astounded them. It turned out that one of the planets in the solar system was an ancient prison of sorts. The records that had survived was enough for a complete translation of the archaic language, but even so, no one knew who these Dareth were, or why they were exiled to such a distant galaxy, barren of life. No one, that is, except the archivists.

The Admiral again called the head archivist, “Proffessor Lart-tch, do you know who the Dareth were?”

Immediately, the blood drained from the archivist’s skin, the grey flesh turning a sickly white. “T-the Dareth?” she affirmed, hoping that she misheard.

The admiral slowly nodded, grimacing. The reaction was enough to let him know that there was in fact a very good reason they were exiled so far away. “I take it they are not good?”

“To put it lightly.” The female answered. “Though the legend is so old, it is probably exaggerated. But we all thought it was just that. A legend. Or more like a horror story.” She added the end with a shudder. Then with a flash of fear, she started. “We came here because we picked up a radio signal.” Her voice was a whisper, cracking with terror. “We need to leave now!”

The admiral was surprised. “Are they really so dangerous? Only a single outpost was here to watch them, and it was peacefully abandoned.”

“This was a race that had conquered over 500 galaxies. Not planets. Not Solar systems. Not Starfields. Galaxies.”

This time, the blood drained from the admiral’s face. The largest empire recorded in history was a single, unified galaxy. Two was unthinkable. But 500? That was terrifying. “You said that the legend is probably exaggerated though.” He tried to assure himself.

The woman nodded, “Yes, but only in the hundreds. There is lots of evidence that at some point in the distant past, some sort of empire had spread across between two and three hundred galaxies. No one is exactly sure how many, but at that scale, even a hundred off is little difference in scale of even the mightiest empire.”

“H-how did we ever defeat such a force?”

The woman merely shrugged. “The legend is vague on that part. But it ends with a few hundred children being left on a hostile planet with nothing to help them survive. They were essentially sent back to the stone age, and were expected to die. But they didn’t. And they will eventually learn how to leave their planet again and return to kill us all.”

The idea was enough to send a cold stab of fear through the Admiral. “We should leave.”

But before he could give any orders, the communication officer called to him from across the bridge. “Sir, we have received a message via the radio waves coming from the planet identified as Prison 1.”

Another cold stab tore through him. “Can we translate it?”

The officer nodded. “it is primitive, but I have made the adjustments to decipher it. It seems that they are repeating the same message over and over.”

“Is there enough to translate?”

“Barely. It is difficult to read, but it boils down to saying, ‘We are here and want to talk.”

The admiral had no clue what to do. If what he was just told was true, then potentially the most dangerous species to ever live was asking making contact with him, the first foreign species they have seen in millions of years.

After several moments, he decided what to do. “Tell them that we are on the edge of a restricted zone and may not come any closer. We also need to leave as soon as possible before we get in trouble.”

He was visibly shaking in fear, and he knew that there would probably be more messages before they were able to leave. There were still units searching the outpost, and it would take around 30 hours before they were recalled, even if they left immediately. They were 327 lightminutes from the Prison Planet, but that still left time for quite a few messages before they were able to leave.

Sooner than expected, another message arrived. “They are asking if they are in the restricted area, and if they will get in trouble as well.”

“N-no. Tell them it does not affect them.” He stammered out. This was getting out of hand. He was neither a military officer, nor a diplomat and this was something that no one in the entire fleet was capable of dealing with.

Again. A reply much sooner than he wanted. “They are asking why the area is restricted.”

This one was surprisingly easy to answer. “Tell them that we don’t know.” He lied

A few hours later, “They want to know what our protocol for First Contact is.”

The answer to that question was drilled into the explorer so hard, that the words came out before he realized that he was speaking. “Observe and learn until they contact us, then send a survey team to the surface to directly learn as much as possible about the new species. Providing any technological knowledge is prohibited until intergalactic diplomats arrive and officially classify the species and permit trade. Ideally, the envoy will make the decision before any contact. In the unavoidable circumstance that contact is made, we are to treat said species as a Class Three.” He finished, then realizing that the Dareth probably didn’t know what planet classes were, he quickly listed, “Class 1: lower intelligent, incapable of societal structure. Class 2: Upper intelligence, incapable of leaving planet. Class 3: Capable of limited space travel. Class 4: Capable of extended space travel under light speed. Class 5: Capable of FTL travel. Class 6: Capable of Intergalactic travel. And the hypothetical Class 7: Capable of instantaneous travel.”

He listed these quickly, momentarily forgetting the insane levels of danger they were in. fortunately, the message came slower than the others. But it still came. “They are asking if contact takes precedence over the blackzone.”

This was the first question that the admiral was completely at a loss for. The majority of blackzones existed because of environmental dangers the others were for military secrecy and they all took up several solar systems. This was by far the smallest blackzone he had ever even heard of and it did not fall under either category.  “T-tell them that….” He started talking, but he couldn’t think of anything. Fortunately, they didn’t wait for a reply. “Sir, they have sent us a file that seems to be a compilation of their history, biology, anatomy, and information of their planet’s wildlife, fauna, geography, and more.”

“A-are you serious?” he blurted out. The officer nodded. They labeled and organized everything for us. There is even information on their technology and mass medical records. They gave us everything.”

“Are there images of them?”

“Yes sir. Also, they call themselves, ‘humans.’”

“Screen.”

A series of pictures flooded the main screen showing hundreds and hundreds of the Dareths. Some were professional, and some were impromptu. They also greatly ranged in age with varying degrees of quality from brown and a little blurry to full spectral and crisp The newest ones even being three dimensional video. They did not look particularly dangerous, though they did have predatory features. They were bipeds with joint articulation and front facing eyes.  It seemed that they had full body skeletons and were mostly hairless, except for their heads and some of their faces. They were also very diverse. Some had pale skin, some were brown, some were yellow tinted, and more.  On top of photographs and videos, the Dareths also included a single diagram of a Human in a circle. It did not take long for the Admiral to understand that it was a mathematical diagram of the Human’s physiology. “Fascinating.” He whispered. But there was one thing above all else that astounded him. The photographs genuinely looked happy. There were pictures of Humans who were angry and sad as well, but for the most part, they all had kind expressions. If they were the Dareths in the legends, then either they had changed, or they were trying to trick him into letting down his guard.

“Sir,” the intelligence officer spoke up. “The planet has an open network database containing the planet’s combined knowledge. We can cross-reference everything they gave us with that system to see if they deliberately left out information or lied.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that we have enough time for that. I want to leave immediately.” Though he was still scared, he did not feel like the Dareths were of any danger or were lying to them. To the communication officer, he ordered. “Record and transmit as follows: Thank you, humans. You have saved us much time and deliberation. With this, we can go back and deliver the information you provided to our government and they will decide what to do next. We are merely an expeditionary unit and have no authority. You have provided us with an easy answer to deal with such an abnormal situation. We will leave as soon as possible and return to our home system without delay.”

When he finished talking, the captain spoke. “Sir, the expeditionary force has returned.”

“Good, we are leaving immediately!” he blurted out.

While the fleet left, they received one last message, “Good bye. We look forward to your return.”

Once they were safely in FTL, he ordered the “human” file to be distributed to all of the ships. In the months it took to return to their home system, everyone had poured over the files and read as much as they could. And frankly, no one knew whether they should be terrified or relieved. By now, the legend of the Dareths had spread throughout the fleet, and despite the history of war and violence that was in the files, there was just as much goodness in them. They seemed to be a fiercely loyal people, extremely innovative, and often benevolent to a fault. This was the trouble. There was no solid trend to determine their species overall personality. Even in war, they would often be kind to their enemies even while they killed them. But when they made an alliance, it was not easily broken; and when they decided to help someone in need, they did everything in their power to do so.

And none of that was even touching their bizarre physiology. They could handle an incredibly wide variety of biomes and conditions, they could survive and recover from what most species would consider life threatening injuries, they ate anything and everything, even if it had no nutritional value or was even dangerous to them. They often underwent drastic changed to their physiology for completely aesthetic reasons. And their medical methods were nothing short from horrific. They actually cut themselves open and put the organs of their dead inside their own bodies and survived. They cut out their organs, and replaced parts of their bodies as though they were machines.

By the time they reached their home, the crew had split in two as to the opinion whether the information they had was true or not. Some said that it made sense for such a domineering race to be capable of such things, while the others insisted that the information was designed to confuse them and make the humans seem stronger than they were. As far as the admiral, he was certain that the information was true. It was all nonchalant, and so strange that it didn’t seem right that the Dareth’s purposefully made it up.

He dutifully handed it over to his superior and up the chain it went. A few weeks later, he was summoned before the King. He knew immediately why. What he didn’t know was if it was a good or bad thing. The escort gave him no time to prepare. They took him from his office to the planetary palace across the continent. He was searched and taken into the throne room, the King and his wife lounging on a large sofa while other nobles of high office lined the room.

Admiral Hot’ath walked forward and knelt before the King and Queen “My liege.”

The king was a large man, but his weight was deceptive, he was an intelligent and cunning man who only appeared to be a lazy slob. So when the King looked down on him with his beautiful wife leaning against him, Hot’ath felt a stab of fear just as powerful as the one he felt facing the Dareth.

“So you are the man who says that there a monsters on the edge of the universe?” the King’s voice was slow and deep, but his tone did not seem mocking.

“Your highness,”

“I kid of course.” The king interrupted, speaking just as slowly. “I have read through all of the reports made on the subject and looked at the Human’s files personally. I understand why so many believe them to be the Dareth’s in the old story, and to be honest, I agree.” His voice gave nothing away, he spoke in nearly a monotone.

Hot’ath relaxed slightly. “I am sure that you know, but I feel that it bears repeating. My fleet did not enter the BlackZone. We remained on the edge and only got so close to explore the outpost, which is not against the law.”

The large king laughed, his bulbous core jiggling as it heaved. “Again, I agree. You have done nothing worth punishment. I have ordered your presence to ask your personal opinion on the information. Do you think that it is reliable, or a Dareth ruse?

After a moment, the admiral replied, “May I speak freely, my liege?”

“I insist it.”

Hot’ath took a breath, “I think that it is all true, my liege.” The crowd around them broke out in a quiet deliberation at his statement. “It is all far too strange to have been made up.” He continued. “I feel like it is subtle and presented as normal. If they were lying, then the lies would have been emphasized and presented as proud aspects of their race. But they record these traits as nothing special. I am certain they would be genuinely surprised if they were to learn about our own physiology and how we are so much weaker compared to them..

The king nodded. “I feel the same. But this is far too dangerous to act one without facts. Tell me why you think they gave the files to us if not for deception.”

“I think that it was an act of trust. I believe that they did so because I was hesitant to go visit their planet. I had told them that they were in a black zone, so they understood that I was not allowed to spend time and wanted to make things easy for me. Also, I do not believe that this was in my report, but my Intelligence officer had access to a global network of their combined knowledge. It was open to everyone. As far as we could tell in the short amount of time we were there, they only provided information that was on the network, that is to say, none of this is a secret to them, and they have no problem with others knowing.”

“That is new information.” The king muttered. “New Knowledge New Light.” The old saying seemed especially applicable here. “I order you to go back. I give you permission to enter the blackzone and go to their planet. Keep at least one ship on the edge out of their range. Under the slightest hint of suspicion, have it leave immediately and return directly to me so we know that they cannot be trusted.

“W-why me?”

“Do not misunderstand. You will have diplomats go with you and a small military escort. But you seem to have earned your rank and are capable of subtle discernment. You will not be doing anything more than your regular job, just with the added knowledge that everything could be a lie. I merely need you to let us know if that is the case.

The Last Word

I was rewatching that episode of Community where Abed and Troy kept hitting each other with pillows because they didn’t want their friendship to be over, and I just kind of liked the idea of an argument stretching out ridiculously long just because 2 people don’t want to stop talking ^^

college AU.

read it here on AO3!

“Dean, this is Cas - Cas, Dean,” Jo said, calling over the thudding music in the bar where they were standing, propping up the bar. She had a hand on Dean’s shoulder, and she gave him a little shake. “I’ve been meaning to introduce you guys since forever. I just know you’re gonna get on great. Cas, Dean likes philosophy, and psychology - that kind of thing!”

“I’m, uh - an armchair philosopher at best,” Dean said, throwing Jo a look that said, as clearly as he could without words, don’t play me up too much. Cas, the guy standing in front of him, was quite clearly out of Dean’s league - tall, lean, with the looks of an Athenian hero and the expression of a Roman statue, chiselled and unsmiling. Dean took a hefty swig of his drink, and smiled charmingly.

Well, he thought, you never know until you’ve tried.

“So, are you a Freud or a Jung kind of guy?” he said. Jo clapped his shoulder and moved off, evidently satisfied with the opener and feeling as though her introductory duties were complete. Dean watched after her for a second as she went, taking her social skills with her.

It wasn’t that Dean was bad in social situations - it was only that when there was just him and an undeniably cute guy, things tended to get a little… flustered. Jo, on the other hand, was perfectly at ease, and good at smoothing over the stupid things his runaway mouth tended to say -

“You can go and talk to her instead,” said Cas, and Dean started and looked back at him guiltily. Cas’ expression was unreadable, watching him watch after Jo. “Please, feel no obligation to enjoy my company.”

Dean blinked. Cas raised his eyebrows.

“I’m, uh, I’m - uh,” Dean said, wrongfooted. “I was just -”

“And I think - Jung,” Cas said, cutting through his fumbling. “Freud’s theories are too rooted in misogyny and phobia to be of any interest beyond the influential and contextual, for me.”

Dean swallowed.

This is going great, said a little voice in his head.

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