also this kind of turned into a meme

BTS reactions to you being a drummer!

A/N: I tried to do a more serious Jungkook, bc i never let him live. -amelia 

Seokjin:

*DEEP BREATH IN* *exhale* *MY GIRL IS SUPER FRICKIN’ COOL OMG CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A JAM SESS SOON I’LL BRING THE SNACKS AND MY GUITAR SEE YOU THERE* How could you hide that so long without him knowing? Now he’s just amazed by you even more and wants to spend the weekends rockin’ out. 

Originally posted by mscleaningfairy

Yoongi:

He likes this. So very much. He’s enamoured with you now. The thought of you playing drums is hardly conceivable to him, a concept he’d never pondered. And the fact that it’s not a figment of his imagination… He’ll be taking you to the studio and plopping you on his lap in front of that drum set. Smiling into your back and listening as you bless his ears. 

Originally posted by pastelyoonseok

Hoseok:

I think Hoseok would just find this new info shocking. But not that shocking… He kind of knew there was something about you, how you bopped along to their songs as you watched him practice. He knew you had some rhythm in you despite you being an awkward dancer and now he wants you to see him awkwardly drumming. He feels this is a great way to fool around and have fun with you! 

Originally posted by chimcheroo

Namjoon:

Kim Namjoon is ready to drag you to the studio now every damn day because he can incorporate his bae into his work life. Seriously, once he learns you’re a drummer he’s so excited but he’s trying to play it down by being sexy and… it’s working, but you see that gleam in his eye; the one that says ‘I’M SEVEN AND I JUST GOT A NEW TOY TO SPEND THE NEXT MONTH OBSESSING OVER’. But since it’s you we’re talking about, I’m not sure he’ll ever stop obsessing. 

Originally posted by bangtanbanchan

Jimin:

Sweet lord this is his fantasy. You’re such a good girl (as he likes) but this is exactly what he dreamed about… dating someone who is perfect, beautiful, smart, kind, etc… but has a little something unique about them. He’s so turned on by your existence. When he learns about this you won’t be able to walk the next day i’m sorry but something has clicked inside chim, good mcfrickin’ luck. 

Originally posted by sugutie

Taehyung:

He is stoked. Now he thinks he’s gonna go over to your place and rock out hard 25/8. (He also thinks you’ll play the beat of cypher pt 3 for him…. maybe you will…) He’s completely absorbed in living a cool life now, throwing those memey kirks out the window… but he doesn’t realize his enthusiasm on it’s own is… one giant meme. 

Originally posted by unicornrulerofnarnia

Jungkook:

He’s 10,000x more attracted to you now. This small bit of info has altered his entire impression of you, and now he really wants to learn how to play drums. An excuse to spend time with you, and getting some more of that good ol’ education. Bangtan is proud, jungkookie is growing up~

Originally posted by baekon-stripss

The greatest trick the internet played on itself was thinking it was subversive and unruly. But your average 4Chan post has all the forged renegade edge of bathroom graffiti in Tom Morello’s studio mansion. Take the most popular symbol of online rebellion: the Guy Fawkes mask.

Quick tip to any revolutionaries out there: If a side effect of your anti-establishment movement is that Warner Brothers makes a cool $600,000 in merchandise sales … you might want to rethink your approach. Because that’s absolutely what happened in 2011 when over 100,000 of these masks were being sold annually.

And this is just the tip of the jagged and ironic iceberg. Remember that Trollface meme? The one that was originally created to make fun of trolls? Well the guy behind that actually copyrighted it – and has since made an equally cool $100,000 in licensing fees and settlements. For as they are inorganic, unoriginal, and attention-desperate, memes are also extremely corporate. And to further expose that irony-berg, the swell of legal interest has to do with how lawlessly they were first conceived. You see… it turns out that you can’t just use an image you don’t own without there being some kind of judicial consequence. Especially when it’s of a person. Star Wars Kid, Scumbag Stacy, Good Girl Gina – these have all resulted in takedown requests, lawsuits, and ruined lives. Not to mention all the memes that originated from TV and movies.

To recap: Memes were created by a “free” internet using stolen pictures, those images became the subject of copyright and harassment lawsuits, and as a result the meme world became more corporately owned and mainstream. This led to the final nail in the coffin – for where there is money and sweet youth blood, there are inevitably politicians

Memes You Probably Helped Spread Are Secretly Propaganda

Jungkook Boyfriend Material

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Out of Bed

  • he first appeared silent, mysterious 
  • at least when you first meet him
  • he’ll tend to stare at you from afar quite a bit
  • u werent really sure whether he was oddly intrigued by u or hated you
  • … u were more inclined towards the latter
  • come to find out later he was just too afraid to approach you 
  • he was actually the exact opposite of what u initially thought
  • he was an open book 
  • ot mysterious in the slightest or silent for that matter
  • he would be rather awkward towards you at first bc he just thought u were so pretty anf also !!ah !!! female
  • especially when he was around tae or jimin 
  • lots of tickle fights with you either letting him win or him using his strength to pin you down
  • and then he would kiss you on the lips that lil happy bunny grin of his would form on his face
  • there would also be lots of fort building and staying inside the house for movies and cuddles
  • your relationship would be the perfect kind of cutesy it wouldnt be the unbearable kind like some relationships are but more the relationship goals kind
  • there would in general be a lot of teasing between the two of u
  • and memeing 
  • so much meMEING
  • you guys would make stupid faces at each other p much 24/7 
  • but also macho jungkook where he calls you his baby girl and insists upon taking care of you
  • also him showing off his muscles to u and lowkey wanting you to call him strong and manly and be a lil turned on
  • also he would be v possessive 
  • he would defs be the jealous type
  • “You’re mine and no one elses. Never forget that.”
  • cherishing you entirely and completely because your actually his everything even if he does tease you quite a bit

Originally posted by mvssmedia

In Bed

  • once again very possessive
  • calling you baby girl
  • rough sex
  • though not really the daddy type unless you were to specifically ask him for something like that
  • he would defs play the role well though if he knew you were into that ;)
  • a lot of grunting and groaning with each thrust
  • stuttering your name when you sucked him off
  • going completely silent when he cums only to shudder and moan after
  • lots of dirty talk
  • sucking on his fingers before and after he fingers you
  • “Baby, you’re cum taste so sweet”
  • he would be into roleplay
  • especially cop jungkook and professor jungkook
  • public teasing
  • nothing too over the top tho 
  • just grabbing your inner thigh maybe his hand accidentally slipping up your dress and into ur underwear every so often
  • lots and lots of hot makeout sessions that start innocent but lead to rough couch or floor sex
  • him fucking you from behind against a wall
  • fucking you on the kitchen island
  • him holding you up against the wall and fucking you from the front
  • him loving blowjobs
  • coercing you into giving him blowjobs by promising to make you feel just as good afterwards
  • him being sneaky and eating you out and the slyly suggesting a blowjob as payment
  • knotting his fingers in your hair and closing his eyes when your tongue glides down his shaft
  • getting hard-ons during casual movie and cuddle nights and trying to contain it but later takes out his built up frustrations on u instead of watching the movie


requested by anonymous hope u enjoyeddd :)

~Admin S

solverne  asked:

9 or 12 for the draw meme? :D

9. Them as a tiny six year old cutie-patoot.

I’m sorry her 6 year old is not cute, because that year was hell for Athelas. ;—-;

12. An AU!

Modern AU where she is waiting for le hubby (Solas, in case you’re wondering) for a date night! This design is actually from a short comic that I will post soon.

Thanks for the ask @solverne! :D


Send me Inquisitor Drawing Meme!

Reality Bites Me - Veronica Lodge x Reader

Warnings: Really light swearing

Request by @riverdalexoxo : Hey, can you do a Veronica x reader where Veronica is angry at the reader bc she forgot an anniversary and she makes the reader sleep on the couch but they make up at the end with a lot of ~kisses~ thank you ur awesome ilu

I really hope you like this :) ilu2

Keep reading

Meet Your Overwatch Quick Play Team
  • Genji: either there's an enemy Bastion they're trying to counter, or this person thinks they're pro and will definitely waste your time; cried for 5 hours when Genji got nerfed
  • McCree: really good at hitting crack shots and somehow manages to get at least three people with Deadeye every time; alternatively, they could be almost unspeakably bad at landing shots
  • Pharah: JUSTICE RAAAAI--AUGH! every goddamn time; on the other hand, if you politely tell them to flank before ulting, they'll probably listen and improve, because they're usually decent people
  • Reaper: they don't know the meaning of "teamwork" and honestly believe their teleport is silent; they'll queue in last and choose Reaper when there's still no healer
  • Soldier 76: takes the game way too seriously but never bothers to focus the enemy Pharah; almost always uses their Biotic Field selfishly with few exceptions
  • Tracer: is actually pretty good about staying alive on their own and harassing the enemy team; on the other hand, they might be terrible and constantly spam "Need healing!" from across the entire map and can never stick their ult to anyone
  • Bastion: can't seem to figure out that Genji's Deflect will absolutely destroy them if they keep shooting; alternatively, they might save the game, but they'll definitely steal the POTG in the process
  • Hanzo: has a foot fetish and can't seem to stop aiming for the enemy's feet, but loves it because the hitboxes are ridiculously big; definitely hates your team and will refuse to switch heroes even if they're unbelievably bad
  • Junkrat: previously played Demoman exclusively in TF2, and is here to fuck shit up for the enemy team; you GUESS they're pretty good, but their ult always steals the POTG
  • Mei: they're either spot-on with their Ice Wall, protecting your team from nearly every enemy ult, or they can't aim for shit and always end up blocking your team in terrible spots
  • Torbjörn: *announcer voice* Play of the Game *footage of Torbjörn's corpse next to his turret, which manages a quadruple kill before someone blows it up*; Defense Torbjörns hate themselves, and Attack Torbjörns hate their entire team
  • Widowmaker: there's a teeny tiny chance that they're actually a pro and can land all sorts of insane shots; more likely, however, they're unspeakably bad and turn your game into a 5v6
  • D.va: thinks that D.va is a front-line tank and an acceptable stand-in for Reinhardt; doesn't understand the meaning of "disruption tank", but tries their best anyways
  • Reinhardt: a team player, but also kind of an egotistical asshole when they manage to get POTG; they'll protect you, sure, but they won't hesitate to blame the healer for a lousy game
  • Roadhog: is either an excellent enemy harasser who always lands their hook, or is the only tank on your team when attacking on Volskaya; often forgets about their self-heal
  • Winston: thinks Harambe memes are the best, and is generally a fairly good addition to your team to counter Tracer, Symmetra, or those damn enemy snipers that your Hanzo/Widowmaker can't ever seem to take care of
  • Zarya: is always there for you, shielding you at just the right moment, and doesn't get enough love; alternatively, they don't know how to aim with their secondary fire
  • Lúcio: probably a salty Mercy main who just needs a break; they'll be there for your team, and if everyone else dies during Overtime, count on them doing a panicked yet determined Payload Dance™
  • Mercy: is completely numb to the suffering of their teammates spamming "Need healing!" from 50 miles away; drinks straight vodka and does their best, but never gets enough appreciation from solo queues despite almost always carrying the team to victory
  • Ana: loves the idea of being a support sniper, and is pretty damn good at it, always landing their shots and grenades to keep the team alive; the resident team grandma, complete with freshly baked cookies
  • Symmetra: likes making "death chambers" with their turrets and miraculously manages to keep their teleporter up for a decent amount of time; alternatively, they may be the worst teammate and never seem to have their teleporter
  • Zenyatta: doesn't seem to understand that Zenyatta is always best when paired with another healer; singlehandedly wrecks the enemy team with their Discord orb, but can't manage to keep the team alive on their own

You know why I don’t buy the “we’re only making fun of people with fake triggers” bullshit?

1) How do you know it’s a fake trigger and not just an obscure one, which happens a lot. Quite a few people with PTSD have odd triggers. It happens. The brain makes weird associations.

and

2) Plenty of people pull the “no only the fakers” bullshit for all kinds of stuff. You know what I’m talking about, espeically in nerd culture where meme proliferate. “Fake nerd girls,” “fake gamers,” ect. But there’s also the legislators who will, when talking about Medicare or SNAP, will say, “oh people who really need it won’t be affected only the fakes/welfare queens/fraudster’s” and then will turn around and slash those programs for everyone.

9

Myka loving Helena [x]

[insp.][also this]

anonymous asked:

What is your opinion on vegans eating honey? Thanks:)

Good question! A controversial topic for sure. I personally believe that honey should not be eaten if one is vegan. However, I also believe that one shouldn’t freak out and hate themselves if they accidentally eat it! 

For example, a friend of mine recently went vegan a few months back. Turns out, she didn’t see that honey was in one of the cookies she ate. As you can infer, she called me and was pretty much bawling her eyes out! Clearly, I find that this kind of behavior over a minor slip up is totally unnecessary (and even quite funny)! The meme below was my reaction to a tee lol.

As most of us know, honey bees have recently been added to the endangered species list. This is definitely awful because these small creatures play a very powerful role in our environment. However, I feel like it must be mentioned that the extinction of these poor bees is not the direct result of people cultivating their honey. Yes, many bees may be squashed on or stepped on in the cultivating process by the farmer, but they are not all dropping dead around the globe because of this. 

Rather, the major causes of their decline is due to

  1. Pesticides
  2. Industrial Practices
  3. Herbicide Application
  4. Climate Change
  5. Advancement of Agriculture 

As claimed by Green Peace here!

All in all, the cultivation of honey is not the main cause of the decline of bees! Yet, it does contribute to it and can (and should) be stopped. 

If you read this and decide that you do not want to buy and use honey any longer (yay!) then here are some alternatives that are awesome to use:)

  • Agave Nectar. 
  • Coconut Nectar.
  • Maple Syrup
  • Molasses
  • Barley Malt Syrup
  • Brown Rice Syrup

Please remember that this is just my personal opinion:) Remember that being vegan is not about judging others who are trying to benefit the planet and themselves just as much as you are! Even slowly starting to cut more and more animal products out of your diet, and even stopping wearing and supporting clothing companies, makeup companies, etc. that contribute to the suffering of animals is doing a lot of good. Once again, do not beat yourself up for being human and making mistakes. We all do it, and you should use that experience and learn so you can grow from it:) 

I had a horrible dream last night where my tumblr art was so bad Canadians turned it into a meme, and I made a list for the top 500 mlp artists online as #465 purely based on the meme’s popularity, but when I looked at the meme that was made using my art, it was just a picture of Carly and Sam from iCarly????? And I was really confused, not because it obviously wasn’t my art, for some reason I thought it was, but I couldn’t understand why the Canadians were so mean because they were supposed to be really polite.

Ahem.

Anyway, just a cartoon Pinkie to make up for the lack of (good) art.
She’s happy because heavy metal.

About anonymous hate

We don’t know what their exact motives are, what they’re going through at the moment, or when they’ll stop.
Though the things they say are hurtful, that shouldn’t be the sole reason for us responding to them with more hate. They’re a person, too, and although they’re hurting someone else’s feelings, our words can hurt theirs too, and cause more trouble for the person receiving the anonymous hate. Responding to anonymous hate with swearing or threats is only going to make the problem worse. You can’t fight fire with fire, guys.

Here are some reasons why:
1. You’re showing them that what they’re doing is bothering you, and that’s giving them a sense of power over you. They’ll most likely send even more negative things after that.
2. You’re responding in a way that makes them grow frustrated with you, which results in more negative messages. This frustration leans more toward anger. Not confusion(the type of frustration we should be aiming for)

This all might sound really wierd to you, but I’m almost 100% sure the reason why we still have anonymous hate in our community is the way we’re responding to it.

Things you could do instead(if you’re going to respond to them):
1. Tell them a joke
2. Respond with a meme
3. Quote Shakespeare
4. Tell the anon random chemistry facts
5. Turn their ask into a story with a completely unrelated ending.

You could also just not respond, delete the ask, block them through their ask, and/or turn off anon. (I’ll make or find a post on these later.)

AAAHHH ANON!!! THIS IS!! TOO SEXUAL!!

lmao let’s do it

S. Coups

  • daddy is gonna nut 
  • he would b very shook at first real life mr krabs and then gradually he’d turn into a red hot mush he can’t even talk
  • OR when you start dancing he’s like oohhyeaahh but then you do a step wrong and he’s like hUH gets up himself and 1ups u rip. now u r the mushy hot mess how the tables have TURNED SON
  • tbh afterwards it wouldn’t be a big deal

Originally posted by sassyminghao

i have been SAVING THIS GIF for a request like this lmaooooo i plan ahead B)

Jeonghan

  • would do his coil little smile u this little shit probably films it 
  • sometimes he adds the song to a playlist twice when you guys are alone “lets have fun and dance jagiya!11!!1!! oh wow! playboy by exo is playing!!!”
  • lowkey would brag about it to the boys bc lets be real he’s that kind of guy. but only to scoups and joshua bc the others are too young for SEXUAL CONTENT.
  • rip joshua and seungcheol. when they compliment u jeonghan gets mad, when they say they r uncomfortable jeonghan gets mad, when they dont comment at all jeonghan gETS MAD its a catch 22

Originally posted by infinitblaq


Joshua

  • i know that most people depict him as this holy catholic Jisoos but like! he is a boy! who would really really like! his girlfriend to! dance to playboy by exo! more often!
  • has a really big grin on this face and probably sings or claps along omgthismarshmallow 
  • but like one time it played in the car when you guys were w the other boys and they have never seen joshua move so fast to literally slam down on the radio button lmao you weren’t even doing anything but now this song makes him feel a certain way
  • has daydreams about it

Originally posted by jaemln


Jun

  • has no idea what’s happening? doesn’t even know that it’s playboy by exo? because he’s too busy looking at u :’)
  • he’s just watching at the start and then his pants get tight and he gets up to pin you against the wall and that’s all folks this is not an nsfw post no no but lowkey would feel you up and get really hot and bothered. do you guys have sex? probably
  • sexy dances all the time no, sexy dancing is your thing u guys r unstoppable no one wants to hang out with you guys anymore
  • but dont worry yall aint ott with the whole dirty dancing classy on the streets, nasty in the sheets

Originally posted by withjunhui


Hoshi

  • he’s actually so pure he would make the :o face and then he would make the face he makes when he watches other idols perform - you know the one
  • blushes a lot and probably wants to ask you to stop but it’s lowkey not even a sexy dance and he double thinks and then comes to a conclusion that he’s just a pervert like rip hoshi 2kSVT
  • he wouldn’t tell anyone about it bless his heart
  • next time you guys are hyped and dancing he’d probably play a shinee song and hope u dance to it the way you do to exo

Originally posted by svnteen-idiots


Wonwoo

  • leaves the room but comes back but goes to the bathroom and doesn’t come out for a very long time lmao
  • when he’s back your dancing to a different song but still dancing so he puts it back to playboy and youre like what ??? but this boy is like shrugshrug idk i like the song shrugshrugshrug
  • but youre tired so you take a seat and he’s lowkey salty that you’re not dancing
  • because he really wants to see it again but he doesn’t wanna seem like that guy so he holds it in and sheds a tear

Originally posted by jeonsquared


Woozi

  • stares the whole time kinda shamelessly but then when it’s over he looks away to hide his blush because he is a child inside
  • he probably swears a lot under his breath because he doesn’t want think of having sex w you bc he’s similar to wonwoo in the sense that he doesn’t want to seem like that guy
  • deletes playboy from his phone afterwards but then changes his mind and puts it back
  • considers writing a song with a similar mood because he is now digging this concept self-consciencely

Originally posted by 17-gif


DK

  • sunshine that doesn’t hide his emotions like thank god we have one son who can express his emotions shamelessly
  • ur number one fan “wooo!!1 shake it!! that’s it! you got this!! damn gguurrrlll!!!”
  • sings along to it but in an exaggerated hyper way although sometimes he’ll sing it in ways that make u melt while your dancing literally turns into some kind of angry memeing cause both of you are hyping each other up rip ur neighbours they just want one quiet night
  • the boys are scared to ride the same car as you two justin case playboy starts playing and that says a lot more than words can

Originally posted by 17-gif


Mingyu

  • you don’t know what you’re doing to him
  • he’s so excited like omg he’s the same as joshua as in he just wants you to sexy dance sometimes and he claps along
  • watches open mouthed but also a bit sheepishl. loves that it makes him feel scandalous lol
  • that one time someone actually walked in mingyu started screaming and standing and it literally scared the shit out of everyone because he’s a walking lamp post. really embarrassed about it and probably scarred and never wants to hear playboy again

Originally posted by seokmin---s

been saving this gif too

Minghao

  • rip minghao doesn’t know what hit him so he is in total shock mode this is not a drill you don’t even notice he’s in shock mode
  • My Story: My Girlfriend Was A Sexy Dancer In Her Previous Life???
  • im sorry but i cant see minghao 100% enjoying it because he’s pure and tries to hide behind something, like he’d catch himself enjoying it and just be like ohmygod i have lost touch with Jisoos (im sorry its just such a spendable joke)
  • jun probably tells him its okay to like it bc u look hot and minghao becomes thughao like bro thats my girl you cant say shes hot u pervert

Originally posted by performanceunit

that camera is the something he hides behind lmao

Seungkwan

  • like DK but toned down because he would be half terrified
  • not because it’s too sexy or he’s too turnt but that he immediately thinks HOW DO I TOP THAT because divaboo is just as sexy as u and can sing the song a whole octave higher
  • when he joins in you don’t laugh, i mean you laugh but in a relaly good way that makes him happy and it makes him like youu 100x more because you don’t judge him and you get his humour and at the same time you make him feel happy
  • hhhhhhhh i just want him to be happy and loved

Originally posted by s-lay-ing


Vernon

  • kinda like minghao he doesn’t know what to do
  • might started uncontrollably smiling because he’s kind of flustered and kind of happy and kind of embarrassed
  • mouths the lyrics to the song and doesn’t take his eyes off you + maybe films it
  • uses the video he filmed of you to make a lit edit and you’re waiting to see it but it’s a crack video because we can’t trust this meme i can’t trust him you shouldn’t trust him - with videos of you dancing that is

Originally posted by sneezes


Dino

  • this might count as nsfw so i won’t do him lmao
  • but im a shit so i’ll leave this because i can really see him saying this “oh my god, waaa, that’s my girl”

Originally posted by swagplusderp


lmao is this nsfw? no it’s not. but is it?
should just leave thesse to mod velvet lmao

mod kimchi!!

faerie-apples  asked:

Rivalry and Holidays

((I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG i was gonna do each as a separate post but this is the only one ive finished with my broken arm and all sorry lmao. also it kind of got away from me so its longer than i intended :V

HOLIDAYS

“Emmanellain!” Artoirel de Fortemps’ voice was not loud, but a boyhood education in rhetoric assured it would carry. Emmanellain heard it from several rooms away, gave up on trying to find a cup with a handle, and turned around to straighten his coat.

“Yes, dear brother? I’m right here. No need to shout. Why so glum? It’s Saint Dannifen’s Day! Cheer up a bit, old boy.”

The eldest scion of House Fortemps leaned against the kitchen door and pinched the bridge of his nose in anticipation of an oncoming headache.

“Emmanellain,” he began again. “Why is there a child hiding in the coat closet?”

“Hiding? Gracious – you must have startled him, Artoirel.” From the slight waver in Emmanellain’s steps and the reddish flush from ear-tip to ear-tip, it was clear his brother was drunk as a country friar – not that this was uncommon for Emmanellain, of course, but he seemed to have taken the holiday as carte blanche to start drinking earlier in the day than was typically considered seemly. Emmanellain pulled an apple from a basket on the shelf next to him and polished it on the sleeve of his coat. “He thinks he’s not supposed to be here, you see.”

“He ISN’T supposed to be here,” Artoirel said slowly. “Fury’s sake, Emmanellain, you cannot just – did you just take him off the street?”

“Of course not!” Emmanellain scoffed . “I asked him if he’d ever had a proper St Dannifen’s Day, and he scarcely knew what that entailed, so I thought it would be best if I brought him here for the night.” Seeing his brother’s glare hardly lessened, he tried to explain further. “His name’s Honoroit. He works for a spice-merchant down in the Crozier and the brute had him hauling salt bricks since before sunrise, so I told the boy he ought to put the tongs down and come with me for the day.”

“Emmanellain, what were you thinking? What do you think Father will say when he finds out you’ve brought a CHILD home like he was a stray kitten? Hasn’t the boy got a family or –”

“No, no, nothing like that– Listen–listen–” Emmanellain held up his hand to stop Artoirel’s protests. He ignored the question of what Father would say, and what he was thinking, because of course Emmanellain never stopped to think even for a second about anything. “He hasn’t got a thrice-damned thing! His mother sold him for a purse of gil like so much old silverware, and the brute who employs him cuffed him across the ears for offering to carry my parcels in return for a coin or two.” Emmanellain gesticulated with wild passion, nearly flinging the apple halfway across the room. “How’s a lad of ten supposed to pay his way out of indenture when he’s knocked into the dirt for trying to earn an honest penny and he’s barely eaten enough to keep on his feet? Honestly, Artoirel, I think the boy deserves a medal for not simply picking my pocket, under the circumstances! Have you ever in your life heard such a dreadful story, my dear brother?”

Artoirel closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. Of course he had heard such dreadful stories. You could walk down any back street of the Brume and find a hundred such stories, and worse if you cared to. Emmanellain, naive and sheltered idiot that he was, had finally been confronted by one of life’s harsher realities, and decided the best way to solve the problem was to invite it home for almond-cakes and stargazing.

“Listen – let me talk to him,” Artoirel heard Emmanellain say. “He’s a sensible lad. Smart as spear-point, I promise you.”

“Just…get him out of the coat closet, if you will, please,” Artoirel said, waving Emmanellain away.

******

All in all, the Fortemps Manor coat closet was a rather good hiding place – at least if you were a small boy. For a grown man, even one as slightly built as Emmanellain, it was a bit of a tight squeeze. Nonetheless, he was determined to confer with the boy face to face, and since Honoroit had set the terms of the engagement he would stand by them. Unsteadily, he shucked off his boots and crawled inside the coat closet on his hands and knees.

Honoroit was actually a bit hard to spot – his near miss with Artoirel had driven him far to the back of the closet, crouched behind several pairs of riding boots and almost entirely swallowed up by a rather lovely embroidered summer coat that hadn’t seen use since the Calamity. “Honoroit?” Emmanellain half-whispered, not wanting to startle the boy out of his hiding place. A pale freckled nose and a pair of wide green eyes appeared at the sound of his name, poking out from behind a black velvet sleeve. He was clearly in some distress, and appeared quite out of his element. Well, Emmanellain had hidden in a handful of closets in his time and usually ended up feeling quite the same way, so he felt the warm glow of kinship in his heart.

“Come on, my boy,” Emmanellain said, trying to sound as cheery as he could while crouched shoeless under one of his father’s fur coats. “My brother’s dreadful at parties and may not have cracked a smile since he was in our mother’s womb, but he means you no harm.” Sensing a note of doubt, Emmanellain continued. “I promise.”

“M'lord is drunk,” the boy mumbled, the implication apparently being that his promises may not be trustworthy when it came to the reactions of nobility to trespassing urchins.

“Accurate observation, my lad, but Fury Herself strike me down if my judgement prove untrue. Now, come on out of the coat closet, will you?”

Emmanellain held out his hand, and slowly, hesitantly, Honoroit took it.

Artoirel was waiting outside the closet at a safe distance while his brother tried his best to extract his unannounced holiday guest. The boy stiffened up when he caught sight of Artoirel, adopting the tense pose of someone who believes danger imminent. Obviously he’d had the fear of rich and powerful men drilled into him practically from birth, but Artoirel noted it seemed to have made him more wary than meek. Emmanellain hovered somewhat behind the small boy, wringing his sleeve anxiously. For all his melodramatic rambling and idiotic behavior, Emmanellain was a creature of very sincere passions, and damned if his brother’s wrenching concern for a destitute child wouldn’t have moved a heart of stone.

“I am informed your name is Honoroit,” he said. The boy nodded. “Do you have a surname?”

“Banlardois, m'lord.”

“I’ve not heard it.”

“No reason you should have, m'lord.” He tapped one foot nervously on the carpet; Artoirel noted he was wearing new shoes.

“You are…acquainted with my brother Emmanellain?” Artoirel asked. The little boy nodded somewhat more enthusiastically at this.

“For well on half a season, m'lord!” he said brightly. Emmanellain glanced awkwardly around the room as though the revelation were somewhat embarrassing, but Honoroit kept going. “Every few days, or near to it – he comes by with food if I’ve not had any and brings cards – dice – I can do sums in my head now when we play games and I can tell when m'lord lets me win – and books, and –”

“Honoroit,” Emmanellain interrupted gently, looking as though he wanted to disappear into his extravagant fur coat. “I mean, we’ve been – like I told you, the boy’s smart as a spear-point– I mean, it’s not as though we have children in the house – begging your pardon, brother! – so I thought, what’s the use of alphabet primers and the like sitting on our shelves gathering dust?”

Artoirel, for his part, might have been knocked over with a feather. Emmanellain’s attention being the flighty thing that it was, he’d presumed his brother had dragged the urchin home on a brandy-soaked surge of holiday spirits. Hearing that he’d been teaching the boy mathematics…bringing him schoolbooks? Well, he had a certain image of his younger brother, and this did not fit at all. Emmanellain bragged about so much embarrassing nonsense that he got up to in his spare time, and yet he’d avoided mentioning this singular devotion to charity.

Of course, when presented with clear facts, the rational thing to do is adjust one’s mental model.

“Emmanellain,” Artoirel said with a sigh. “You are a legendary idiot. Fetch Filibert and ha ve him brew another cup of cream tea.” After a moment, he added, “withOUT brandy, if that was not plainly obvious.” Honoroit realized Artoirel’s intentions before Emmanellain did; the child’s eyes lit up with anticipation while Emmanellain blinked at Artoirel in vague, drunken confusion. “Oh, and…” the very slightest hint of a smile might have crossed Artoirel’s face, though it was gone in a heart’s beat, “…a good and merry Saint Dannifen’s Day to you both.”

well well well, this is a PERMANENT STARTER CALL, which i’ll be reblogging every once in a while, starting from now. by liking this post, you allow me to:

  • tag you in starters randomly
  • shower you in memes / turn said memes into threads
  • hit you up through IM for some plot / wish list ideas
  • reply to your open starters
  • just love you in general???

this doesn’t mean you have to respond to everything i do, this is just to get over my anxiety and know that you’re comfortable with me in here. also by liking this i (kind of) expect you to do the same! you’re always allowed to send in / tag me in / hit me up with any random idea you’d like to bring to reality!

au ideas!!!

  • you were crying at the library and i thought you were hurt or in need of help but it turns out you had reached the sad part of the show you were marathoning which also turned out to by my favourite show
  • you walk so fucking slow so i tried walking on the grass to overtake your snail ass but my foot caught on a rock and your long fancy coat was the only thing i could grab on before i completely lost my dignity
  • you’re a gardener with a nice ass that i can’t stop staring at and one day you caught me looking at you bent over and fuck that’s embarrassing but then suddenly you started wearing tighter pants dear holy lord
  • it’s exam week and i run a coffee shop near the campus and you walked right into my glass door i’m laughing so hard oh my god
  • i’m a fierce coffee lover who had recently cut caffeine down to once a week and the day i bought one you accidentally knocked it over and i was gonna be mad but you looked at me and holy fuck those eyes so even though i’m not mad anymore i’ll still pretend to be so you’ll but me coffee
  • you’re my brother’s coworker and kinda-best friend so you’re around a lot and you’re pretty cute but my brother will probably stab me if i chase away another friend of his

Keep reading

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DEAR FELLOW CARATS, Our babies are 2 years old now. Whether you’ve been a fan since 17tv or sometime after debut we have to be strong for our sons and help them to be strong in turn. Let us continue to support, standby and cherish them as they work hard and produce the music that they love. Also let us show love and be kind to Seventeen the way they show love and are kind to us, they’re precious Carats!!!! HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO THE FOREVER MEMING TALENTED ADORABLE LOVABLE LIL SQUISHIES THAT WE CALL SEVENTEEN !!! SAY THE NAME YA’LL !!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

tjtech13  asked:

jh.🍡🐗😂☝👌😅😂😅🚬😑🎷⚏😑😑😑😉😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂♪♪♪😂😂😂⚏😂⚏♪😂😑😑😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🚶♩🚬😑🐶🚫👌😑🚫⚏📻🐱🐗♩🎸📻📻🎷🎹🎸🐱🚶😉📳☝🎻🏢⛪🌇🌇🌌🎠😅🏛

so you’re telling me that your dnd character, Jelly Hog (a light-hearted individual with a good sense of humour) went through some kind of hardship and took up smoking and also the saxophone in an effort to cheer themselves up again. it worked for a time, but Jelly Hog ultimately turned their back on music and went looking for other avenues to keep their spirits up. They couldn’t afford a puppy, but whilst listening to the radio one day they heard an advertisement from the local pound beseeching people to adopt a cat. Jelly Hog did so, rediscovered their passion for music, and toured the world with their new feline companion - finally having achieved self actualisation and regained their lust for life.

send me a fact about your dnd character and i’ll reply with one about mine!