also this is such a failure man

Spongebob is a tv show about a closeted gay young man getting the attention of an unreceptive crush (Squidward) while also maintaining a performative crush on Sandy (known lesbian) anyways by the end of the series he will have come out and gotten over his thing for Squidward (which he was unknowingly only harboring because Squidward actively disliked him and Spongebob was setting himself up for failure) and form a committed and mutually beneficial relationship with Patrick, realizing he’s been in love with his best friend f years and Patrick (bisexual) has felt the same but also felt as though he couldn’t compete with the high culture that Squidward possessed

kisschugger  asked:

prussianmemes who is your avatar

It’s a Soviet Cosmonaut, Vladimir Komarov (1927- 1967) - who was the first human to die during a spaceflight - but is also more notable for his sacrifice

He was chosen as the pilot for the Soyuz-1′s first manned test flight. Initial evaluation of the craft by Yuri Gagarin and Komarov was done and they found around ~204 anomalies within the module.

Komarov tried to warn other engineers and his seniors about how the module won’t function properly, and that there would be a failure during testing - but nobody listened to him.

He was going to get out of the mission - but then he found out that his seniors would have sent Yuri Gagarin - who was an extremely close friend of Komarov.

Vladimir Komarov couldn’t do that to his friend. “That’s Yura,” his biography quotes him saying, “and he’ll die instead of me. We’ve got to take care of him.” Komarov then burst into tears.

Komarov decided that he would go instead - knowing that he would most likely die.

At the same time, Yuri Gagarin tried to force his superiors to let him replace Komarov on the mission for the same reason; he didn’t want to see his buddy die. The whole thing is incredibly sad.

During the flight, the solar arrays didn’t deploy - EXACTLY as Komarov suspected, and at the same time the launch of the other module was cancelled - meaning he needed to re-enter.

The parachute failed to orient properly when entering the atmosphere, and the parachute failed to deploy.

During the re-entry he contacted the land base and cursed an yelled at his seniors for sending him to this mission - cried - and demanded that he had an open-casket funeral so Soviet officers had to see what they’d done.

He literally melted in that module - and crashed a couple of minutes later

He’s my personal hero for that sacrifice - and how he tried time and time again to prevent this from happening.

It’s a real shame that he’s almost unknown today - his entire tale was incredibly sad, but it’s also one of great heroism and selflessness.

ao3 klance fic recs

After making my way through most of the klance tag on ao3 I thought I’d share the ones that have stuck the most with me so far. honestly this fandom is a blessing, these authors are a blessing, these dumb space gays are a blessing. so in no particular order, please, have some klance;


Cheeky by rideahorse / a short and sweet oneshot that involves both kissing and incessant bickering, and honestly with this pair, what more could you ask for. rated T.

official summary: Keith pinches his eyes shut, slamming the book down again and swiveling to face Lance. “Oh my god,” he groans, standing up and crossing the two feet between them before Lance can get out a word. He grabs Lance’s face between his hands (perhaps a bit rougher than needed, but hey, he’s always wanted to slap Lance’s stupid face) and the last thing he sees is an expression of pure surprise before he leans down and presses his lips against Lance’s.It’s a peck, and it lasts a second, and then it’s over. Keith leans back, releasing Lance’s face, and hisses, “There.”

if it takes two by velvetcrowbars / Lance has a confession to make and Keith is a knight in shining armor (sorta). a well written oneshot that Lance is absolutely not going to remember in the morning. rated T.

official summary: After the Sendak attack, Keith and Lance deal with unresolved things. Whatever those might be.“Keith?”“What?” He finally says, safely slipping the piece over Lance’s head with minimal knocking against his temple. He sets the discarded parts on the floor next to the bed.“I have a confession.”

never been kissed by kairiolette / I got a pretty good laugh out of this one, Keith and Lance have a Quality Bonding Moment™ at a local alien burger joint and things may or may not get a little out of hand. not that either of them are really complaining. rated G.

official summary: “You give off the obnoxious popular vibe. The mullet, and the rap sheet, and—the fingerless gloves,” Lance replies, and barrels on before Keith can take it the wrong way. “I’m so handsome, my name’s Keith and I’m a pilot.”“That sounds more like a compliment than an insult,” Keith says slowly, a disdainful quirk to his eyebrows that only spurs Lance on. He tilts his head a bit, his bangs shadowing his face, like he’s assessing a particularly impossible physics problem. “And I don’t like that voice you’re using.”

A Fish And A Bird by Methoxyethane / I loved this fic, adored it to be totally honest. the writing is excellent and the plot is funny while also being meaningful. could alternatively be titled “Keith and Lance take miscommunication to a whole new level and then some”. rated T.

official summary: Lance has a boyfriend. Lance does not realize he has a boyfriend. Keith, understandably, does not react well.

head to head, neck and neck, side by side by kushling / lance actually wins a spar with keith and he is so incredibly baffled that he 100% misses the 5000 implications of keith’s super massive gay crush on him. also, avatar references. definitely worth the read. rated T.

official summary: Lance and Keith both like sparring, Avatar, and each other. They have a hard time admitting it. Pidge makes fun of them. Space swords!!!

Stranded by cyborgtoaster / keith and lance end up being both very cold and very gay, in that order. denial is rampant and i definitely snickered once or twice during this one. rated T.

official summary: On a mission gone wrong, Keith and Lance end up stranded on a barren planet during an unexpected ice storm. Left to their own devices, they have to find a way to keep warm for the night. For once, maybe they can get along and only increase their unresolved feels.

moments of silence by attemptsonwords / really well written and great character capturing. lace is super bi and keith is really really frickin gay, together they both start to put the pieces of their relationship together. rated T.

official summary: Quiet moments between two boys who spend most of their time yelling at the other.

Drive! by wolfgun / set in an earth-centric au, keith has obviously never attended a child safety course in his entire life since he thinks jumping into a strangers car and screaming “Drive!” is an acceptable escape plan. it’s like a sleepover au but better. rated T.

official summary: “C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Don’t you know how to drive? With a car like this, you can’t tell me you just love to mosey on down the road like a goddamn geezer,” he taunted. “What is this? Just a bit of daddy’s money and mommy’s rules?”“I’ll show you geezer, mullet-head!"Au Prompt: You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man (except it’s not cops because Lance’s mom would kill him for bringing home a wanted teen)

I’ve got 99 problems and you’re every single one by kitwitt / lace is so deep in denial it’s almost physically painful to witness, keith is so amazingly gay that’s almost physically painful, too. for an explicitly rated fic a majority of the (currently 4/5) chapters are more fluff then smut. well written and witty, keith is a snarky little shit and it’s great. rated explicit.

official summary: “Obviously I’m not gay.” Lance floundered, voice breaking to a higher pitch.
Shiro tilted his head slightly. “But you have a crush on Keith.”

In which Lance fails to mask his attraction to a certain pilot under the ruse of rivalry, and everyone knows but Keith.

Miscommunication and failures by Lance by mikuridaigo / oh man i got a pretty good laugh out of this. collage-student au where Lance fucks up big time and ends up with a seriously pissed off Keith on his ass. literally. rated M.

(it’s Explicit companion piece Disastrophe (I like it rough) is also absolutely worth the read if you’re looking for that kind of thing.)

official summary: When Hunk called the Sunday before the spring quarter began, asking if he wanted to grab brunch with him, Lance said yes; and when Hunk called again, saying that his friend was joining at the last second, Lance didn’t think anything of it.Until said friend was the best sex he’s ever had.Basically Lance is a screw up and fixing this mess was probably going to kill him.


I could absolutely keep going and going and going (and going) because there are so many great klance fics floating around out there. I definitely encourage you to root around in the tag for yourself if you haven’t already. huge shout out to all the voltron fanfiction writers out there, every single one of you are in my heart. every. single. one. 

thats all for now kids, tune in next time for more Quality Space Gay™ fanfiction recommendations !

every big brother cast

in honor of the new season of big brother i decided to make this post detailing who is in the cast each season

Loud  ™

Average white guy. Louder than everyone else. Makes an all guys alliance on the first day but no one sees him as a threat. Everyone listens to him for some reason. He’ll be booted off in a few weeks but isn’t seen as a failure. Had a showmance with a girl he doesn’t respect

Old  ™

Old man or woman. Only on the show so it doesn’t look like a dating show. Booted off in the first few weeks and everyone who voted for him to go cries anyway because they were “best friends”. They’ll be missed. Not really.

Gay  ™

All he talks about is being gay. The straight guys are friends with him to look accepting but talk shit about him behind his back. He’s also friends with all the girls which is why he stays in the game for so long. Acts dumb but actually has a strategy, to the surprise of all the straight people. Kind of racist.

The Single Mom  ™

Hot. Won’t have a showmance but she’ll come close. Playing for her kids. Talks about them a lot but it never makes it into the show. Everyone will call her kids ugly behind her back. Makes it to jury even though she didn’t have a very good strategy. 

The Lesbian  ™

Has no strategy. Makes you wonder why she’s here. All the girls think she’s flirting with them even though she’s not. Tries to be one of the guys but they’re all uncomfortable around her. Doesn’t make it to jury and has no friends. She gained some twitter followers though and exposes all the houseguests after she leaves.

Country Bumpkins  ™

Really annoying but no one thinks so. Makes it into like 1000 alliances. Everyone finds out halfway through the season that they’re racist and is somehow surprised. The girl is always in a showmance and wins a lot of competitions. The guy is really close with all the other guys and he saves the girl he likes from eviction like once. That’s it. Also what is loyalty? They’ve never heard of it.

The Minorities  ™

Only on the show so Big Brother doesn’t seem racist. Really religious. Has a touching backstory. The girl is always Sassy and is seen as a threat though no one will admit why. Can’t catch a break. Have to fight their way to jury because they’re always on the block. 

Unemployed  ™

Kinda ugly. Easygoing. Just lost his job. Lives with his mom. In a lot of alliances. Everyone sees him as a threat for some reason (he’s really dumb but no one thinks so). Somehow lands a showmance with a cute girl. Doesn’t make it to the end but comes close.

The Superfan  ™

Youngest one in the cast. Seen as a threat the first week but then everyone forgets about him. One of the only people who knows what’s going on. Good at mental competitions/challenges. If he doesn’t win he comes really close. 

Girl With Makeup  ™

Everyone hates her because she’s pretty. None of her houseguests respect her. She’d have a good game if literally anyone would make an alliance with her. Gets pretty far because of a showmance. 

Mr. Exercise   ™

Works out. Really dumb. Flirts with everyone. Has zero strategy, his Boys carry him through the game. Has a showmance that no one cares about but the girl will make it further because of him. Talks to the cameras on the live feed. Loves his mom.

The Pawn  ™

Average guy. Does everything his boys asks him to. On the block every week but never goes home, at least until the end of the season. The other side of the house will tell him he’s being used to get his vote but he won’t believe them. Wins one HOH and his Boys make all the decisions anyway. Probably in a showmance but backstabs her without a second thought. Definitely not a fan favorite. 

Quirky  ™ (aka She Wears Glasses  ™)

Won’t stop following the guys around but constantly talks about Girl Power. Has two friends. She makes everyone uncomfortable but stays around because she wins a few competitions. Makes it to jury and the fans kind of like her even though she won’t win fan favorite. Her game is really messy which is why she doesn’t win. Can’t keep a secret. 

Bonus:

one of them is Very Italian and won’t stop talking about it. One of them is related to a past houseguest. One of the girls won’t stop crying. One of the guys call all the girls “too emotional” but has a literal mental breakdown.

Disrespect also can take the form of idealizing you and putting you on a pedestal as a perfect woman or goddess, perhaps treating you like a piece of fine china. The man who worships you in this way is not seeing you; he is seeing his fantasy, and when you fail to live up to that image he may turn nasty. So there may not be much difference between the man who talks down to you and the one who elevates you; both are displaying a failure to respect you as a real human being and bode ill.
—  Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

consider also: teru is not only bad with animals but is also bad at identifying them, as seen with his utter failure to identify bugs in the summer fun omake

teru, looking at a raccoon: man what a cool dog

Voltron Theory Part 2 Season 3: Lotor’s Parentage

So, we’ve now been introduced to Prince Lotor, and he’s a heck of a lot to un-package.

Smart and charismatic, but also manipulative and doesn’t suffer failure. It’s clear that there’s more to this man, he also seems to hold grudges and allows others to be harmed for his actions, such as in the case of Throk.

And yet, there is a nicer side to him. He’s protective of his generals, it’s clear that he respects them and their opinions. He’s also a man of action, showing that he can get into the thick of it, and yet knows how to pull back when there’s not much to gain.

It’s clear that he was trained hard in becoming very well versed in military strategy, but why? We also know for sure that he was exiled by the Galra for some reason, and has since been off doing something else. What’s interesting is that he picked up the Generals, all female too mind you, and have been using him as his elite squad of sorts.

Unlike Zarkon, there’s a clear equality that he sees in his team, something that…on the one hand is awesome, on the other hand, given his reaction to Acxa’s failure with the Teledav, one has to wonder how far his equal view of his men goes?

Physically he’s an interesting Specimen to the eye.

He’s tall, but smaller than a lot of Galra, meaning he’s roughly about the size of a Human or an Altean.

He has white hair, which again is unusual because there are only a few people that have that hair: Alfor, his wife, Allura, Keith apparently (as per Lauren’s comment about him dying it black was part of an idea they had for the series) and surprisingly Kolivan (the long end of his hair is white).

He also has a very narrow chin and features distinctive Altean ears, something that hints at his being half, and also, importantly, is something carried over from the main series in both the original Go lion and the American Voltron Defender of the Universe.

Lotor also has yellow eyes, but blueish irises, and a very sharp chin, unlike his father who has more of a square jaw. 

Again Altean features as far as we’ve seen in the show, save for some of the Galra, like Throck and Haxus who both have pointed chins but seem to lack some of the qualities that these two had.

There’s also the fact that he doesn’t wear the same sort of armor as the other members of the military, and that his helmet is distinctly Altean in design, much like Allura’s Paladin look.

What’s also interesting with Lotor is the fact that he bears no markings of the Altean people like his mother. Although there’s some question if that is his mother but more on that later. He also seems to have the smoother skin for the Galra rather than a more fuzzy aspect. Which is again rather different than other members of his species.

So this got me thinking, exactly who is Lotor. Or rather who is his parents? There are a few options, so let’s dive into them and hopefully we can come up with a good theory about where his blood line is coming from.

Let’s start by looking to the past to get an idea of who we can rule in and out of this versions heritage.

Lotor from the original series was born from King Zarkon and a young woman from Arus, who was taken as his slave. Haggar (Honerva in Go Lion), the former Queen of Planet Doom and Zarkon’s Mother, was Lotor’s grandmother, both of which Lotor didn’t know about. In the updated comic Lotor’s mother Lora, given an actual name, is the royal consort (although I don’t know if the marriage was an alliance deal or something that was a willing deal) of king Zarkon and actually does things in his name, and seems to have been there for Lotor as he grew up to a point. In both cases his mother seems to be Altean, and his father Zarkon.

We know for sure that we can rule out the idea of Haggar (points for using both aspects of the original series with that one guys) being his grandmother as we’ve seen that she came from Honerva, Zarkon’s wife. And we can probably rule out the idea of Zarkon enslaving someone to give him a child, since even Zombified Zarkon is somewhat honorable. So where does that leave us to figuring this out.

Well we know that Lotor claims that Zarkon’s his father so we can go with that as a Start and list all the ways that Zarkon can be Lotor’s father.

If Zarkon is Lotor’s dad Theories:

1.       Zarkon and Honerva had Lotor biologically

Now in Episode 7: The legend begings, we see the back story of how Zarkon met Honerva met and got married.

 During this time we also saw the birth of Princess Allura and, during none of the time while they were alive, did we see either of them mention having a child. 

This would be a big thing, as given how friendly the two men were before things went down, it wouldn’t have been that hard to believe that they could have arranged to have Lotor and Allura marry.

This doesn’t even touch on if Galra and Alteans can have kids together, however the show has been hinting at the fact that it’s a possibility with the hybrids and Keith’s existence.

As @radioactivesupersonic post pointed out, it seems really weird for the two to conceive a child after being Zombified. I’m going to go one further on this, I don’t just think they are Zombified, I think they are actively being controlled and possessed. So if that’s the case, why would they want to have a child? Given that Haggar couldn’t remember being married until she went into Zarkon’s mind, and he clearly wasn’t showing that he recalled her (even if they were still emotionally bonded) it would be hard to believe that they would want to have a child together.

Lotor clearly was born after Allura went into her sleep as she would have recalled him, and Coran indicated that they didn’t know he had a son. This means that Lotor wasn’t born before the Zombification of Zarkon and Honerva. So they had to have him after, but how? If they are dead, that would mean that they don’t have the living options in their body, as Haggar is shown to have gone from her normal brown color to a dark purple, which could be either from the thing that attached to them, or (like Transformer that turn gray) Altean’s bodies turn a darker color when they die. Thus making it clear that both are living on borrowed time.

Regardless, Haggred’s one track mind on experimentation and Zarkon’s desire for Voltron, indicate to me that neither of them would have the mind to, nor the inclination, to create a child though a union of their own. This also doesn’t explain why Lotor only sees Zarkon as his father and doesn’t mention Honerva, nor does it imply why he calls her his father’s witch. Unless Lotor has no clue of his mother at all, and this is going to be a situation where he wigs out and kills her like in the original Go Lion. But given the way they’re building up Lotor, I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen, as he’s more like the Devil’s Due version in that he’s a more honorable person…to a point.

So if that’s the case then…

2.       Lotor is an experiment by Haggar

This one is another thing brought up by @radioactivesupersonic, and I think it’s a good one. The idea is that Haggar created Lotor by building a child based on the DNA from herself and Zarkon, and possibly Alfor or his wife.

Now I can believe that. We know that Haggar can create things, and alter people (Shiro and the other cyborgs) and infuse people into the Robeasts (as we’ve seen with the first and second season) and we know that they’re creating clone technology (as per Kuro –fake Shiro). So the idea of her creating a child possibly from various bits of DNA and mixing them to give birth to him.

In that case, he would know that Zarkon is his father, but when was this done, and how long ago did this take? We have no info on that, and I would think that, if Lotor was going to be a test subject for Haggar, there would be more clues given.

On the other hand he could be from only one parent with add ons put in him. As in Lotor is a clone of Zarkon, the problem with that is that Lotor bears no significant traits with Zarkon, and only has the purple skin tone. And he certainly has more qualities with an Altean and has the white hair, which we now know is connected only two a hand full of people (Alfor, Allura, Allura’s mom, Kolivan and Keith). So did Haggar clone Alfor and alter him? There is that option since Lotor does have a similar eye color to the late King.

Then again, if Zarkon couldn’t remember her, could he have forced a child from another Altean?

3.       Zarkon’s the dad, but another woman is the mom

There is a chance that given Zarkon not recalling his past, he could have taken on an Altean woman to have Lotor and then left her behind.

However, this is less likely because people point out that Lauren Montgomery has noted that Lotor has a connection to Princess Allura. Something that being born from an unknown woman wouldn’t allow to happen.

The other option is that Zarkon and Allura’s mom had Lotor. We are told over and over that Alfor was killed by him and Altea was blown up. However I don’t fully believe that the Alteans are dead, due to the fact that Lotor had his ship built and the only ones that can do that are the Olkari, who probably wouldn’t do so, and the Altean’s since they built the first set of lions.

If Lotor is Allura’s brother through her mom and Zarkon, the issue is how has he stayed alive? Unlike Zarkon and Haggar, it’s clear that Lotor hasn’t imbibed in the Quintessense since his eyes still have irises, and we’ve seen other Galra not have glowing yellow eyes. These are Galra that look closer to the original form of the Galra (see the captain of the ship that the Blue Lion attacked in the first season) or seem to be halfs. So unless he’s being corrupted by the Quintessense I don’t think Lotor is that old, and can’t be Allura’s brother that way, unless he was frozen as part of his exile.

4.       Lotor is Zarkon’s son from another reality.

This one is weird but there is this option. We know that there are other realities and we’ve seen how things can pass through. So there is that option, but…and I say this hard, if Lotor did come through he would have had to have passed through via ship like Voltron and been picked up by the Galra. Now we know that he’s interested in building a teledev and that he seemed to have an idea of other realities, or at least that the meteorite can go between ala Voltron.

However the main problem also is that he was able to control the Altean ship, which means that he has to have some connection to the royal family to do anything to that ship. However he could very well be a descendent from both the Empress Allura and the Zarkon of another universe. We’ve only seen one so far, and the idea that there are more out there indicates that there’s a chance for that reality to have had some form of peace between the two forces.

The problem with this is, how do you prove he’s from another reality?

On the plus side, if he is from another reality and thus connected to Allura as a brother, then that could explain the whole issue of him moving the ship.

There is also a chance that Lotor is not the Son of Zarkon but may be another person’s child all together.

1.       Lotor could be the son of Empress Allura

While this is the least likely choice, there is a small hint that it could be. We know that Lotor has a very close look physically to Allura, and this isn’t just by design. If Lotor came from that world, how did he get to our known universe? The only way I can think of is due to a number of situations that allowed for him not to be affected by the rift.

However he clearly wants to travel between worlds as he purposely built that ship from that meteorite. He knows about the way it works, and the only way he could know that is if he was able to test that factor. He also wants a teleduv which means that he knows how to use that too.

If he is the son of Allura that could explain the whole idea of him being connected to her.  If he is from another universe, this might be a case of him wanting to go home, rather than continue Haggar’s tests. The issue is still how did he get across the rift without being vaporized.

2.       Lotor is Allura’s brother

Okay this one is one that keeps going around my head. There are still issues with it, but there’s some very interesting ways this could be.

While looking at Episode 7 I noticed that Lotor does bear a striking resemblance to Alfor. They share similar eyes, not only in color but in shape.

 Also chin and nose as well.

Alfor also has the same sort of side burns as Lotor, and there’s some similarity in their hair styles as well. Then there is the ears on Alfor and Lotor. They are practically the same.

They both seem to share even their smiles, and some of their personality traits in the smug department.

We also know again that he could turn on the Altean ship which is rather important since it’s been stated that only a royal family member can move Altean ships. Coran and others have said over and over that ships that are like the one that was between the rifts can only be moved or controlled by the royal family. Which means that previously the Commander of the ship would have had to have been a member of the royal family as well, or that there was something on the ship that allowed it to move.

Furthermore when you actually examine the options for who could be Lotor’s parents, with Honerva and Zarkon you run into a few problems.

For one thing their eye colors do not match their son’s. Like at all, in any way, shape or form. Not only that but there’s the fact that Lotor’s ears are closer in shape to Alfor’s then Honerva’s. Both Honerva and Zarkon have brown eyes, and yes I checked with a hexadecimal code to see the exact color that they used in the coloring of the eyes of the characters.

Lotor’s eyes match up with the range of Alfors as both Honerva and Zarkon’s eyes are brown. The only people that have blue eyes are Acxa, Allura, Alfor, her mom, Ezor, and oddly Coran.  Unless it turns out that Coran is his dad, which would match up with the idea of Coran having a missing son.

So how would Lotor end up being under Zarkon’s control? And why would Allura not know she has a brother?

Well if Allura’s mom was with child during the events of the fall of Altea, then there’s a strong chance that she could have, and would have given birth after the castle was taken. Assuming that the Alteans didn’t all die, it wouldn’t be that hard to believe that Zarkon would kill them all as they’re actually useful to them, and there are hints about the druids being Altean, then it could very well be that he’s placed them under his control.

If Allura’s mom did have a child, it wouldn’t be that far to believe that Zarkon and Haggar wouldn’t want a child to rise up and find his sister. They could have easily put him under experimentation, and frozen him for a time to carefully grow him in a controlled environment and make him believe he is the son of Zarkon.

The other option was that he was born from Alfor and Allura’s mom through a less conventional way and at a later time, then infused with aspects of the Galra to maybe create someone that could be used to control the Alteanas or Polluxians or other races in their stand. Unfortunately he’s too independent and was sent away due to his own nature to want to do his own thing.

It’s hard to tell for sure exactly where Lotor’s from, but a lot of signs point to the idea that he is at least connected to the royal family. So those are my theories, anyone have others?

One other funny note: 

Alfor’s sword….

Lotor’s sword. 

They’re very similar in design. 

anonymous asked:

What did you think of Vex's characterization in the comic?

Man, I was impressed. There’s a lot going on there, right off the bat, and this plot is pretty much perfectly targeted to get to the bottom of the twins’ characters at this point in time. 

Vax wears his heart on his sleeve and his reactions are pretty much as expected: how terrible, we have to help these people, they have almost nothing, they’re like we used to be. While Vex is all business in the peasant’s house, he’s glancing over at the empty crib and sneaking a look back at the man as they leave. He romanticizes the pre-Syngorn days, and of the two of them, he’s always been the one rhapsodizing fondly about the time spent with their mother.

Vex… is a bit of a different story. “At least that mother fought to keep her child.” Okay. Okay. Oof. Whether or not this is something she processes or externalizes later in the series, it seems to me very believable that she’d be the one to still harbor a bit of resentment toward what could easily be seen as a betrayal or an abandonment, even if she hasn’t really worked out why yet.

There’s also the thing where the twins had their fuck-yous to Syngorn in very different ways. Vax was about escaping that hierarchical structure, getting the hell out of the game altogether, and-I-walk-away. Vex has always been about redefining that hierarchical structure so that she’s on top. She’s still playing the game, she still values and craves all the things that she and Vax got looked down on for not possessing, but she’s made a conscious decision that the path of least resistance is to act like she’s already one of the elite.

  • “Noble-born don’t grub around in the muck chasing after a swamp god curse.” “They do if I’m doing it.”
  • “Brighten that cloak up a treat, very fashionable.” “My dear man, whatever I’m wearing is fashionable.”

It’s fundamentally performative, though—she’s been through enough and has enough empathy that she can’t quite pull ‘disinterested snob’ off convincingly—and that’s why she folds so quickly after berating Vax for taking on a job with such a small cash payout. Her act’s also doomed to failure, because the people who really are part of that elite are never gonna accept her for it, no matter how much she pretends she’s already been given their approval. It’s why Percy’s gift in Syngorn was so complicated; it wasn’t just a simple fuck-you to her father because it was simultaneously shifting her closer to what Syldor wanted her to be: nobility, titled, worthy of his blood.

Vex is raw, early on, and this plot might be the first time she’s having confront the one piece of her history that doesn’t fit the role she’s been desperately trying to play. I can’t wait to see where it goes next.

Ten things I wish someone told me when I started HRT:

You can get hormone therapy in the United States without undergoing a long evaluation period or undergoing a ‘real life test’ if you seek out an ‘informed consent’ doctor or clinic. I waited over a year before seeking hormones because I did not want to place myself at the mercy of a mental health professional and I did not want a doctor ‘diagnosing’ my gender. Which brings me to…

They’re going to diagnose you anyway because they need an ICD code to bill your insurance company. I was furious when I found the diagnosis on my medical chart. It would have helped a lot if the doctor had asked my permission or explained that it was for insurance billing purposes only but he didn’t.

Hormone therapy drugs bought from overseas pharmacies are safe and will not cause ‘legitimate’ clinics to refuse treatment should you later decide to switch to a prescription. At the time the information I was able to find talked a lot about how trans women who use ‘black market’ hormones are not to be trusted and that a trans woman who uses such medications should be denied care until they can prove themselves ‘trustworthy,’ somehow. It is a lie.

There is absolutely zero evidence that injectable estrogens are more effective than oral estrogens. The fact is that the ‘advantage’ attributed to injectable estrogens is almost certainly placebo (and injectable placebo is known to be much more powerful than one administered orally). I could have saved myself a lot of discomfort and a serious leg injury caused by an improperly prepared injection.

Properly dosed, there is no reason that sublingual estradiol should be more effective than oral estradiol. The only thing that matters is that enough estradiol enters into your bloodstream and that is something that will be reflected in your labs.

Transdermal estradiol patches are itchy, smelly affairs that cost quite a lot of money and refuse to stay on. Knowing what I know now I would have avoided them entirely.

When I started hormone therapy my endocrinologist gave me conjugated equine estrogen because it came in smaller doses than 17β-estradiol. I was kept on conjugated estrogen for some time under the pretense that he was making sure I didn’t have any bad reactions to being on estrogen. Knowing what I know now I would have been able to argue that conjugated equine estrogen has a much worse side-effect profile than 17β-estradiol and that placing me on this drug unnecessarily endangered my body and my transition. Furthermore, the smallest doses available were far below a healthy dose needed to maintain bone and emotional well-being. Done again I would have insisted that I be started on a reasonable dose of 17β-estradiol.

Low progesterone is implicated in poor emotional health in women. Micronized progesterone is valuable to trans women for maintaining a healthy level of progesterone. I’ve personally benefited a lot, emotionally, from having it and I just wish I started using it sooner.

I wish someone had encouraged me to seek out other trans people as friends. At the time I first came out I didn’t really know there were other people out there that could really help me. The only thing I knew about being trans was what I was able to read online and in books and most of that firmly emphasized the idea that you should transition until you’ve had surgery and ‘pass’ and then disappear and that the people who ‘hung around’ the community were somehow failures. I know that’s not the truth, now, but it really messed me up early in my transition.

I wish someone told me to be cautious. I wish I was told that doctors and mental health professionals aren’t the last word and that if one decides that you’re a ‘failure’ or ‘actually a man’ it’s them that is wrong and not my own instincts regarding who I am. I also wish someone had given me a gentle nudge that some of the people I would meet in the trans community are not to be trusted and do not have my well being at heart. I feel that knowing those two things coming into that experience would have saved me a lot of grief.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for writing dirkjake? A lot of writers can't really capture their relationship as well as you do

ok I’m going to write like a million words about dirkjake get ready

I think firstly with DirkJake there’s just core differences in how different fans interpret the characters and relationship from the very foundation. The way fanon is so established for like 10 different versions of Dirk and Jake individually followed by at least 3 different common ways for their dynamic to be interpreted… it all leads to a shit ton of variance in what you get when any given writer decides to write a DirkJake fic. 

I guess for me, the main things to get “my” flavor of the relationship, what I try to focus on: 

1. Dirk as a complex character primarily defined by his overwhelming constant internal state of anxiety filtered through the fucking pinhole of his exterior facade. So like. Dirk is a character that wants and needs and feels so many things, but never wants to express any of it because he is terrified that expressing all the shit going on behind the mask will drive people away from him either in disgust or terror. Dirk is a person who is constantly afraid that he is becoming the worst version of himself and constantly unable to talk about that because if people understood what the worst version of himself was capable of they wouldn’t even want to be associated with the current version of him, who is trying so fucking hard not to be that. And because from Dirk’s perspective he’s “hiding” the reality of who he is from everyone he cares about (Dirk has a VERY FUCKING LOW opinion of himself) he’s in a sense manipulating them via lying by omission. Dirk thinks he is responsible for everything bad and other people are responsible for everything good and therefore other people have no sense associating with him at all. Dirk is trapped inside his own goddamn head 100% of the time when left to his own devices and WILL destroy himself if allowed to do so. 

His stuff is a mirror of Dave’s, with one huge difference: Dave hides everything because he’s afraid everyone will think less of him for being so soft – he’s afraid of the harm they might do to HIM, emotionally. His facade is protecting himself. Dirk hides everything because he’s afraid of the harm that DIRK might do to THEM. His facade is (from his perspective) protecting everyone else (from him.)

You’ll notice I didn’t mention anime, puppets, horses. Yeah. Moving on. 

2. Jake is ALSO a complex character primarily defined by his overwhelming need to avoid conflict and downplay his struggles with being hugely introverted in favor of projecting an idealized version of himself worthy of his own grand destiny. Jake is primarily concerned with JAKE’S own comfort, and this selfishness leaks in to the way he conducts all his relationships – Roxy is spot on when she says that Jake is an asshole, but he doesn’t MEAN to be an asshole, he’s just… Jake. Jake is simultaneously really easy to take advantage of (because he will always defer to the easiest route if possible – Jake calls himself a man of action but he would almost ALWAYS prefer to do nothing if he can get away with it) and also really good at manipulating people because everyone underestimates him. Jake is SMART. He just often downplays his own intelligence because he’s terrified of failure. He walks this line between being perceived as capable but not being perceived as TOO capable, because he wants to put out a specific persona without ever being called on to act in a way befitting of that persona. Like, wearing the costume is easy but walking the walk is hard, right?

Jake wants to be the hero and also wants to be the damsel but ONLY for the fun parts because the rest is hard and feels bad and is awful and sucks. He wants to skip from the Inciting Incident of a story to the Hero’s Triumph and then to the Happy Conclusion without experiencing ANY of the tumult or conflict or setbacks in between. He wants people to understand him without having to express himself because that’s hard. 

His stuff is a mirror Jane’s, one again a major difference: Jane bottles things up because she wants to appear effective and actively be relied upon to do great things – which she is confident in her ability to do and eager to inherit. Jake bottles things up and meticulously avoids difficult things because he wants to appear technically capable of effectiveness but doesn’t actually want people to call upon him or depend on him. He is NOT confident in himself or his own abilities and intelligence. Jane wants everyone to want and need her, she thrives on being the center of attention in a room. Jake thinks about being the center of attention in a room and wants to die. 

I would never ever ever use the words “cinnamon roll” to refer to Jake English. So yep. Moving on. 

3. the DirkJake relationship is a story about two boys who have been in love with each other basically their entire lives, except they grew into a pair of maladjusted unsocialized messes with zero emotional intelligence and oh, yeah, also one is a huge fucking introvert pretending to be an extrovert and the other is a desperate fucking extrovert pretending to be an introvert and WOW IS THAT A RECIPE FOR DISASTER. Especially when they immediately torch all their other relationships and have no one to ground them or pull them back or otherwise vent or express themselves to ON TOP OF all the other personal baggage each is working through throughout the alpha session. 

And I personally take an optimistic view of it, which is, these boys have loved each other their entire lives, they aren’t going to stop now, but they are going to have to learn to work through the myriad fucking issues I outlined above in healthy ways with the help of ALL their friends and family and it will be difficult but ultimately successful and rewarding and their eventual relationship with each other will be one where each feels respected and fulfilled and no longer afraid of horribly disappointing (best case) or utterly destroying (worst case) the other. 

I like to think toward and write them toward an eventuality where Jake is no longer afraid that he isn’t capable of loving Dirk as much as Dirk loves him just because he feels and expresses the emotion differently, and Dirk is no longer afraid that Jake is just humoring him or that Jake’s inability to be in full social mode 100% of the time means he’s getting or gotten over him in full, forever. Also, where Jake is no longer afraid that Dirk will judge him or feel full on disdain for the fact that Jake actually really doesn’t want to deal with the realities of a hero’s journey and just kinda wants to chill and have fun instead of being effective and heroic 100% of the time, and Dirk is no longer afraid that Jake will come apart like a wet paper towel at the merest hint of exposure to his actual innermost self and feelings. 

And that’s my big rant about the stuff I try to keep in mind when I write DirkJake even though like 70% of it is just smut like honestly what the fuck

Trump claims “no politician in history has been treated worse”

So I decided to dispute this claim for him in a list form. I even just stuck to presidents, though he left it open to “all politicians.” Here are some examples of criticism our former presidents received:

  • President George Washington: had to borrow money to attend his own inauguration; Jefferson repeatedly accused him of treason especially regarding the Jay Treaty
  • President John Adams: entire reputation scourged by a scathing 72-page letter written by Alexander Hamilton (a member of his own party) about how horrible he was
  • President Thomas Jefferson: election called the “greatest misfortune our nation has ever experienced” by Martha Washington; also historically despised by many of his colleagues
  • President James Madison: was frequently made fun of for being small/frail/weak (5'4", about 100 pounds, very sickly); the wife of a Virginia politician once labeled him “the most unsociable creature in existence"
  • President James Monroe: was nicknamed “The Last Cocked Hat” due to his outdated revolutionary-era fashion sense he still kept later in life; also…he acquired Florida
  • President John Quincy Adams: constantly plagued by calls of illegitimacy for his term because of the backroom deal he made with the House to be elected over Jackson
  • President Andrew Jackson: basically almost caused mutiny of Southern states over a tariff; was chastised for his nepotism and also nicknamed “King Andrew” for his selfish/monarch-like tendencies as president (also committed genocide but I’m not counting that in here because he was actually LAUDED for it)
  • President Martin Van Buren: nicknamed “Little Magician,” “Sly Fox,” and “Red Fox of Kinderhook” for his shitty political skills, small stature, and red hair; Charles Ogle called him “Martin Van Ruin” on the floor of the House of Representatives
  • President William Henry Harrison: gave an ill-advised address in the freezing cold rain & was literally president for 30 days 12 hours and 30 minutes before he died of pneumonia, after which the nation quickly forgot about him
  • President John Tyler: nicknamed “His Accidency” after inheriting the presidency from Harrison
  • President James K Polk: so obscure that one of his rivals coined the slogan “Who is James K. Polk?” during his campaign; highly criticized for his war with Mexico
  • President Zachary Taylor: though only president for 16 months, often remembered as one of the worst presidents in history; as a total outsider he completely demolished the Whig party after his victory
  • President Millard Fillmore: entire cabinet unanimously resigned after disagreeing with him over a free vs. slave state issue
  • President Franklin Pierce: was abhorrently despised for his hand in the Kansas-Nebraska Act and failed to be re-nominated for a second term
  • President James Buchanan: pre-civil war, became so hated during his presidency part of his cabinet resigned; said to Lincoln upon leaving, “If you are as happy entering the presidency as I am leaving it, then you are a very happy man.” Also has evidently been ranked among 3 worst presidents in every poll and survey conducted since 1948
  • President Abraham Lincoln: shot & killed
  • President Andrew Johnson: literally faced impeachment over his failure to work with Congress; during his trial he blamed his troubles on “a mendacious press” that continually criticized him
  • President Ulysses S Grant: no political experience entering office; was loyal to people close to him and as a result failed to remove ineffective people; presidency riddled with scandals and corruption, though none involved him directly it caused him to be remembered as guilty by association
  • President Rutherford B Hayes: official inauguration secretly held inside the White House for fear of the trouble his opponents might stir up
  • President James A Garfield: shot & killed
  • President Chester A Arthur: plagued by a negative reputation of cronyism garnered in his early political career
  • President Grover Cleveland: sexually abused a widow (which he threw into an asylum) and fathered an illegitimate child (which he threw into an orphanage); was criticized with chants such as “Ma, Ma, where’s my pa?”
  • President William McKinley: shot & killed; also had a poor reputation due to his relationship with Republican party leader Mark Hanna who was seen as manipulating McKinley
  • President Theodore Roosevelt: shot & lived; also seen as egotistical and somewhat of a bully, greatly expanding executive powers
  • President William Howard Taft: Ballinger-Pinchot controversy gained so much bad press it led to the split of the Republican party
  • President Woodrow Wilson: aside from massive criticism over his handling of WWI, also garnered criticism for an investigation launched during his presidency over claims of homosexual interactions between naval personal and civilians
  • President Warren G Harding: Teapot. Dome. Scandal.
  • President Calvin Coolidge: actually criticized for saying too LITTLE
  • President Herbert Hoover: severely criticized for his handling of the Great Depression; also ordered Army to break up protesting veterans & his harsh methods got him a lot of public dissent
  • President Franklin D Roosevelt: faced allegations from Republican leaders in Congress who said he left his dog in the Aleutian Islands after a family trip & sent a Navy destroyer to rescue said dog at the taxpayers expense
  • President Harry S Truman: involved in a scandal when an investigation into the IRS lead to the firing of 166 IRS employees; stained with allegations of corruption in the aftermath
  • President Dwight D Eisenhower: many in his administration under investigation as to how many of their “gifts” and personal purchases were allegedly funded by taxpayer money
  • President John F Kennedy: shot & killed; also had a lot of alleged affairs
  • President Lyndon B Johnson: Pentagon Papers indicated he systematically lied to the American people about American involvement and actions in the Southeast Asian region
  • President Richard Nixon: …do I really have to say anything about this one?
  • President Gerald Ford: pardoned Nixon & hated for it
  • President Jimmy Carter: shit ton of criticism for Iranian Hostage Crisis
  • President Ronald Reagan: shot & lived; Iran-Contra affair; AIDS crisis…yet somehow remembered as America’s sweetheart
  • President George HW Bush: secretary of treasury arrested and sentenced to prison for tax evasion and obstruction of justice
  • President Bill Clinton: almost impeached over Monica Lewinsky
  • President George Bush: a journalist literally threw shoes at him
  • President Barack Obama: birth certificate fiasco, “THANKS A LOT, OBAMA”

Note that this is an insanely brief overview of criticisms, but the point is IT’S PART OF THE DAMN JOB, DON. NOW GET THE FUCK OVER IT BECAUSE NO ONE IS ATTENDING YOUR PITY PARTY.

anonymous asked:

winteriron neighbours au bucky is 28 or 29 and tony is 24 or 25, where bucky and tony live next to each other and tony is scared of him. bucky is always grumpy, angry, glaring at everyone. tony thinks bucky is a serial killer. one day he just blurts it out and bucky is very offended. that's how they start talking. later when they start dating steve still can't get over the fact that tony had thought that bucky was an assassin. he still laughs at them because of that. happy ending.

Resting Bitch Face/Bucky will always be one of my top pairings lmao. (Man I had plans for this and then I threw in angst lol I’m a failure.) Look out for under the cut!

You can also find this on Ao3 here.


Tony was pretty sure his neighbor was a serial killer.

Like, he’d done the proper thing his mother had said to do, introduce himself to his new neighbors (he had a standing offer to have coffee with Bruce anytime), but when he’d knocked on the door of 4D, a man had answered looking ready to commit murder. There had been bags under his eyes and his eyes were red and his hair was a mess. He’d grunted out a terse ‘the fuck do you want’ and Tony had been able to do nothing but squeak. And then the door had been slammed shut in his face.

Which, you know, might have been a little rude; no one looked good first thing in the morning and Tony had clearly blind-sided him. But the guy hadn’t had to slam the door in his face. He had planned on just nicknaming him ‘Rudy McTrudy’ and moving on with his life.

Except sometimes Rudy McTrudy came home late at night clutching his left hand with a towel that was stained with blood.

Tony nicknamed him ‘Murder Guy’ instead.

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Messed Up Bowers Gang Headcanons

First up: I don’t want to hear any “You are justifying abuse/blahblahblah/bullshit” on this post. These are my personal thoughts and I like them and I’m not hurting anyone. Please check yourself.

Edit: More Headcanons: Messed Up Bowers Gang Headcanons - In A World Without IT Headcanons - Bowers Gang Height/Weight Headcanons - Quick Vic + Henry Headcanons - Bowers Gang Sexcanons Part One - Bowers Gang Sexcanons Part Two  - Bowers Gang Pet Headcanons - Bowers Gang “Bully Boy Poly Puddle” Headcanons Part One

BELCH HUGGINS

  • Belch lives with his mother, his father ran out on them when he realized there would be no more free handouts. He was a bit of a bum, only wanting to leech off of the Old Money Belch’s mom comes from. Of course, when he split, Belch was barely old enough to know that something was missing. His mother raised him to be Her Good Big Boy, but she was lax and careless with what he consumed. He was angry for so many reasons, but it only really kicked up when his grandparents moved in. All of a sudden, his grandfather shoved himself into the head of their family, and tried to rule with an iron fist. The first time he spoke out, Belch was hit. He did everything he could to rebel, and when he met Henry, it felt a bit more like, maybe, he could escape. Belch was never very smart, and it only made things worse between him and his grandfather. Teased for his intelligence, he found ways to try and counteract it, but nothing was enough. The grandfather died shortly before the start of the movie with this thought in his head that he was doing the kid good by not being gentle with him. Belch, to this day, hates him and hopes he’s rotting wherever he is. 
  • Belch has a somewhat severe learning disability. And it goes almost unseen because of his family’s unwillingness to admit to a “failure”
  • Belch is secretly very, very self-conscious about his nickname but he knows, at least, that his friends mean it in the best way possible and are actually impressed by his burping abilities. 
  • Belch suffers from Binge Eating Disorder, mostly in part because he grew so fast and large. Being six foot tall and 170 lbs at age 12, he was diagnosed with giantism when he started to get even taller. It made him even more self conscious, being “Big and Stupid”, which comes out in small, but threatening, bouts of rage.
  • He learns best when he does hands-on things and can see what he’s doing, rather than doing everything mentally. He is actually the oldest in his friend group because he was held back a year due to just how badly his grades were the year before he met Henry.

PATRICK HOCKSTETTER

  • Patrick and his parents have a very strained relationship. His father knows that he killed Avery, but he also fears bringing it up with his son. Patrick honestly terrifies both of his parents to the point that they give him whatever he wants. He’s literally spoiled further into his way of thinking, which only adds fuel his sadistic behavior towards others. However, he never receives any positive feedback, any kind of touching (negative or positive), and it makes him both loathe and crave touching. Which is why he goes out of his way to use almost intimate touching in his bullying, it’s the way he can feel it out on his own.
  • Patrick suffers from bipolar disorder with psychotic features. He probably suffers from manic episodes often, actually, and it’s a huge reason why he believes in Solipsism. As Bipolar can onset as early as puberty, but in some cases earlier, it would also explain a lot of his more self-perceptive thoughts.
  • because of his friends/lovers being “wussies” and a possible hospitalization, Patrick starts taking psych meds and he only stays on them because Henry and Belch force him to
  • Patrick hates/fears being accountable for his actions, but Belch and Henry aren’t about to live with him if he’s off his rocker
  • Patrick is not very into touching unless he initiates it and deems it necessary. He prefers to initiate at all points and finds casual affection to be incredibly strange. 

VICTOR CRISS

  • Vic’s family situation is more that he suffers more abuse if he talks. He has to kind of wait for his father/mother to tell him what they want to hear and he parrots it back. His mother was a beauty queen gone sour in her “old age”, and his father is very much the “no fucking son of mine” kind of guy. The mother wants her son to be Pretty, and has engraved it in his head that there is a certain standard he should be achieving. But he can never quite make it, because it doesn’t have an actual form. His father thinks she’s turning him into a ‘pussy’ and he actually enjoys knowing that he’s hanging out with Real Men. But any implication that it’s Gay and he flies off the handle. Vic takes a lot of abuse from his father, but he hides it. It’s part of why he and Henry are so close. 
  • Vic has an eating disorder (Bulimia), and also selective mutism.  Henry, Belch and Patrick are almost the only people that ever hear him talk.
  • Vic is very tactile, and is always willing to hand out hugs and snuggles to his friends. He gives the best hugs because he is versatile in the way that lets him adapt to the needs of the hug. He will also happily hold Henry or Belch, or Patrick when he’s feeling it, and be whatever spoon they would like. He has held Henry through so many crying fits that he isn’t even sure when it all started.
  • Vic has a hard time sleeping unless he’s laying with someone he trusts or drunk. He’s an incredible lightweight and it takes less than a can of beer on a bad day to get him drunk. 

HENRY BOWERS

  • Henry’s father is incredibly abusive, physically, mentally and emotionally. He is not afraid to show his son that he is most certainly not hot shit, and that he will tear him down and leave him bloody and wishing he was dead at every chance. Being a racist, homophobic, sexist drunk, Butch almost constantly has his son hiding or on the run with his friends. Because of Butch’s unpredictable behavior, Henry has a somewhat free pass to climb into all of his friends’ windows when he needs to. He also has a copy of the key to Belch’s car, in case he needs to joyride his way out of an emotional breakdown.
  • Henry has PTSD, at the very least, and I also headcanon that he’s a cutter. It’s why he covers his wrists. He predominantly cuts his left wrist, which is why the bandana is on that one. Whenever he can’t take out his frustrations from his dad’s abuse on others, he takes it out on himself. 
  • He has a severe fear of being a failure, of being a “Paper Man” like his father always calls him. He has the most insecurities of all of his friends, and he finds himself only more certain that he’s less than a man because of his sensitivities. He does not cry often, but when he does, he cannot stop.
  • Because of his father’s drunk behavior and occasional night shifts, Henry was left to learn how to cook on his own and actually found that he very much enjoyed it. 
The Gang Represses Their Sexuality: Dennis, Dee, and Compulsory Heterosexuality in “The Gang Saves the Day”

So this is a post that I’ve been…. threatening to make? For a VERY long time now. And now that I’m finally more or less done with school for the semester, I have the time and energy to sit down and make it!

This will be a very long, dense, and text-heavy/image-heavy post.

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12x19 Deconstruction: Part II - The Mixtape Exchange


(A MIXTAPE, GUYS. A GODDAMN MIXTAPE!)

So, yeah, there really wasn’t anything else I could possibly call this piece of dialogue, was there? Nope. Let’s set the scene:

Dean is at his computer. There’s a knock on the door. Cas opens it, pauses, and what we learn from this, by the way, is that Cas was waiting for a response and when he didn’t get one he proceeded inside, thinking Dean wasn’t there. What does this visual exposition tell us?

a) Dean’s bedroom is not off limits to Cas if Dean’s not there, because there’s trust
b) Cas didn’t come to the room looking for Dean

The reason Cas goes to Dean’s room is to get the Colt - the mixtape is just his excuse. So, then, what an utterly beautiful tool of exposition this innocent piece of prop becomes, and how incredibly well it’s used to highlight exactly what the problem has always been in this relationship: the lack of fucking communication. In fact, not only does the mixtape highlight the lack of communication, it goes further as it turns that problem on it’s head completely when, suddenly, both of these men open up to each other. And the fact that Cas is there on a mission, that he’s effectively playing Dean, doesn’t take away from all the truth that is in this exchange as well. Not that there’s complete honesty. Not just yet, but it’s coming. Oh, it’s absolutely on the horizon. It has to be. And this exchange is, as so many others, riddled with subtext which makes the interpretation of it layered to the extreme, but what I have on offer today is my take. So, here goes:

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Back in the 90′s David Duchovny was once asked what he wants to do in his life and his answer was: 

“Write. Have a family. Be what my mom calls a decent man. I’d like to cause less pain than there is. Maybe alleviate some pain.” 

We all know years passed by and not everything worked out as planned. Guess what. He made mistakes. Guess what. You did too. I did, too. We all do. The things that differentiate us from each other isn’t in who makes mistakes but if we realise them at all. Do we always acknowledge our mistakes, others mistakes? Or we just become blind and ignorant? When we do acknowledge them, what we do with them, how we handle them? How we handle others failures, how we help them? Or not. These are the big questions.( Also, in his case, the mistakes being documented and thrown back into his face all the time)

David Duchovny went on with his life and became the person who he wanted to be. He became the person he was hoping for back in the 90′s. He is a humble, soul-lifting, decent, feminist puppy man who is absolutely happy in where he is at this stage of his life and I could not love him more. 

He keeps going around, acknowledging his previous mistakes and giving interviews on how failure can be a good teacher. He teaches his kids that it’s okay to fail. He started to learn the guitar so his kids can see how he struggles in something and keeps going, ‘cause it’s worthwhile.

He made mistakes, he acknowledged them, learnt from them and improved his and others life. So anyone out there, dragging him for no better reason than his failures in the past, or for the characters he played on TV!?, STOP IT. Stop the hate, the poison, we have enough of that already in here.

What we should always take away from the history of a person is the appreciation of their journey, their life. Leave the past in the past, improve and embrace the present. In the meantime living by these words does sound like a good idea:

“I’ve made so many mistakes but it is my feeling that you learn from failures, so I welcome them as often as I can.”

Drowning (Rick Sanchez X Reader?)

This is my first so uhmmmmmmm help me and give criticism or whatever…..

Oh… This might be sad. Just saying. And swearing and stuff… Mentions of rape and abuse… And suicide? Yep. SFW… I think? Uhhhsend me prompts or something please. It can be whatever gender, situation or whatnot. Just… Something?

Also, this isn’t C-137.. ok?
***
Rick rolled onto his side once more, his hair sticking up into the air, a mess. His eyes were bloodshot and his breath was akin the weak buzzing of bees. His hands clenched onto the bedsheets under him, and his eyes slammed shut.

He wanted to curl into a ball and die. He wanted to believe in a god, just so he could blame him or fate for all of his misfortune. He wanted to rip everything to pieces, including himself.

He was so stupid. So fucking stupid. After everything he had been through in life. After everything he had done, and seen. After all that he had killed, or left behind, and this is what had broken him.

She was so beautiful. Her hair was soft, and her skin glowed in the light. Her eyes were filled with warmth and a love beyond anything Rick could comprehend. And he had broken her.

She had come to him one night, broken, bloody. Her eyes were so intense. They locked on him as she spoke to him of her troubles.

“I’m so sorry Rick, to come to you like this. But I had nowhere else to go. You’re my only friend.” Her words were so sincere, and broken. She sounded defeated as she sobbed into his chest.

He loved those broken sounds.

He should have known then to back off. Just stop. No one needed to know. No one needed to get hurt.

But Rick didn’t stop. He wanted a control he had never had before. And it was so easy.

She had fallen so quick too. He charmed her with his jokes, and adventures into the stars. He was quick to prove his strength and his worth. And every time she was ready to go, he would guilt trip her into staying. He was an awful creature.

She was less than half his age too. She was in mid college, ready to be a doctor, determined to help the world. She was so intelligent.

Three months into the game, she quit school for him. Years of studying and hard work down the drain, because she loved him.

He drugged her once. Had her beautiful body to himself. He didn’t like it all too much though, deciding it would be better if she were awake.

He was an awful man. And he knew it too. His family wasn’t really aware, only noticing marks on her wrists, or a hoarse voice when she came to dinner. Morty had once brought the subject of their relationship up, but Rick quickly turned it down.

She loved him. And now she was gone.

She went in her sleep. Pills or something in his workspace.

He hated himself. And it was all his fault.

He thought of a conversation she had had with him once, before all of it.

“You know Rick,” She started,her voice soft, her eyes looking to the distance. “Love is like drowning.”

Rick had scoffed, not believing in love, ashe had told her before.

“It is. Honestly. You get so devoted to someone, you’re willing to do anything, knowing it might never be returned. Like parents are for children. They love them, never expecting love in return, not truly anyway. But once you're​ in, you just suffocate yourself in them, and your failures. You want them so badly, and you lose yourself trying. But for some I would say it’s different.” She was gone then, lost in her own thoughts, leaving Rick to wonder where she had gotten that from.

And she was always drowning.

What an awful man.


***
Uhm… Also someone send me a thing showing me how to italicize or something. I am so awkward……

Uh. Yeh.

anonymous asked:

Itachi and Kakashi as husbands?

 Itachi

•Honestly a great husband. Little to no drama, always understanding, always considerate, always ready to provide for you. Itachi wouldn’t want to get married until he had dated his s/o for a long, long time. So of course by that time, he’s completely devoted to them 

•The very definition of a sacrificing spouse. He’s selfless, always. Would really do anything for his spouse

•Protective of course. Once he’s a husband, he knows it’s his responsibility to take care of his spouse even more than he did before. One main example of this would be when it comes to his father. Fugaku could very well disapprove of this marriage. And it’s probable that he would slander Itachi’s spouse in an effort to try and deter the marriage, maybe try to change Itachi’s mind by pointing out all their flaws. But Itachi doesn’t allow that. There aren’t many situations where he really takes a stand against his father, even at the risk of disrespecting him, but these are one of those cases. He doesn’t tolerate anyone talking down on his spouse. Especially not for the sake of trying to scorn their marriage. He sticks up for his spouse no matter what

•Shisui was his best man at his wedding. Just saying. Maybe Sasuke. But probably Shisui

•Speaking of Sasuke, he also has a role in Itachi’s marriage, in a way. It might be a little odd, but Itachi hopes that he can set an example for Sasuke. Itachi isn’t full of himself, he’s not haughty, so he’s not going to claim to be the world’s best husband. But he knows he takes care of his spouse. And he hopes that Sasuke can learn from both his achievements and failures. Itachi is always looking out for his little bro, even in his own marriage

•The only negative to Itachi’s marriage is his work. Because of his sense of duty to the village, he might not be around all the time. He’d take month long missions, even though he knows his spouse will be lonely. Weeks will go by where he comes home in the middle of the night, and leaves early in the morning, so his spouse hardly sees him

•It’s difficult to say whether he would apologize for his absences. He acknowledges how it might be affecting his spouse, but he also expects them to know that he has Konoha’s best interest in mind. He can’t apologize for wanting to do right by his village

Kakashi

•Being married to Kakashi isn’t much different from dating Kakashi. He’s still laid back, still requires a little push every now and then in terms of functioning in a relationship. It’s kind of like you’re dating a ‘man-child’. It’s an annoying title, but it’s true in Kakashi’s case

•He lazes around the house, doesn’t bother cleaning, probably expects his spouse to make him food. It’s not done in any way to belittle or walk all over his s/o, but he just feels like since he’s married now, his partner will happily tend to him. He of course returns the favor though. On some days, he goes on a cleaning spree so his spouse comes home to a clean house. He’ll make an attempt at dinner. He’ll wake up early and make them breakfast. So it’s not entirely one-sided. But still, he sometimes acts like he can’t function on his own. He’s just lazy

•He doesn’t tell anyone about his marriage tbh. Three years into it and he’ll casually mention his spouse in a conversation and someone will be like “Wait, what? You’re married???”

•Kakashi probably wouldn’t get married until after his days as a sensei are over. Married life is retired life in his mind. All he wants to do is lie around the house with his spouse and avoid responsibilities

•When people come around the house looking for him, and his spouse answers the door, Kakashi—only semi-jokingly—tells them to say he’s not home. His spouse has to be involved in his antics most of the time

•Kakashi isn’t the best at remembering anniversaries. He’d probably forgot the second or third one. It might have led to a fight, a pretty bad one if his spouse was that hurt by it. From that year on though, he remembers it down to the very hour

•He has a bad habit of using his spouse’s things. He’ll steal their toothpaste and use it all up. He’ll use their brush, get silver hair everywhere. Probably even takes their clothes. He believes in the ‘what’s mine is yours’ mind set

•On an angsty note, Kakashi still might not have opened up to his s/o about his traumatic past even well into their marriage. Maybe he’s just waiting for the right moment. Maybe he doesn’t want to scare them away. It’s one of his hidden insecurities. Even if he trusts them with all his heart, he doesn’t know if they’re ready to hear about his father, or Obito, or Rin, and everything else