also this is horrible but whatever

i have a fake son.
his name is Tim and he is working on his M.S. in astrophysics at Berkeley.
he is devestatingly handsome and enjoys rock climbing and volunteers as a counselor at the local YMCA there in Berkeley, California.
i am so proud of my fake son. i have raised him up in my own head to be such an outstanding member of society.
“Tim” is only brought up when asked about by one particular woman at work that i only see on occasion. i don’t make a habit or game of lying to people, but with her, it kinda came about as follows:
Faye is one of those people who has been there/done that and will hang herself on the cross while she tells you how much worse the experience was for her. i’ve seen this woman Kanye West an 8-month pregnant girl at said girl’s own baby shower to glorify the gift she gave her as well as go into how horrible her labor was with her own children. Faye also is a braggart. her car/purse/house/ring/shoes/etc. all cost more than whatever yours did and her children are all angels.
i was forced to work with Faye for 2 days about 5 years ago. she called me Emily a few times before i finally told her my name is Amy, not Emily. she gave me a sideways glance and said, “I like Emily better”, and since then, she has always called me Emily. i let this go because to get angry with her and tell her off is to see her become dramatic and begin crying and insist she did not mean anything by it while not issuing anything close to an apology. Faye is always right, too, you know.
anyway, when she shut up long enough about herself and her fabulous offspring on the second day, she asked, “Do you have any children, Emily?”
i replied that i do not. she then launched into her daughter taking fertility drugs so that she could give her mother grandchildren someday.
that was the only question she asked me until i saw her about a year later.
“Oh, HI, Emily! How are you?!”
“Hi, Faye…how are you?”
“Wonderful, wonderful. Stephen just graduated from UT. He’s going to be the best doctor ever! How is your son, uh, Tim?”
it took me a second. Tim? son? what the hell is she talking about?!
it dawned on me what a complete narcissist she truly is. she hadn’t heard me the day she asked if i had children, because she didn’t care. she didn’t care enough to call me by my real name, so it wasn’t much of a surprise.
i couldn’t stop myself. i briefly thought about correcting her, but i decided to just go with it.
“Tim is doing so well. He was just accepted to Berkeley after his amazing thesis on planetary nebuli. We are so proud of him.”
her eyes grew big. “Oh, how nice! But, Berkeley? That’s so far from home. UT is an excellent school; surely he could’ve been accepted there?…”
i gave a small chuckle. “Oh, well, they wanted him for sure, Faye. I mean, all the letters he received, practically BEGGING him to study there. But, well, they just don’t have a sufficient astronomy department. UT is a fine school, but not for the subject that Tim is going into. Astrophysics is not something you can study just anywhere, you know.”
her eyes narrowed. “Medicine is what these young people should be going into. Astrophysics? What is that, anyway? How will it contribute to the world?”
“Gosh, I don’t really know how to explain astrophysics, Faye. It’s so mind blowing for simple minds like mine and yours. But searching for things in space that could potentially help our planet is a pretty big deal, I think.”
Faye promptly excused herself. i knew i had gotten her.
i’ve bumped into her on and off throughout the past 5 years and she always told me how her angels were saving the world, especially Stephen, and then she’d ask about Tim. and i made sure my Tim was one step above her Stephen. her face would turn crimson and she would have to abruptly leave.
i saw her as i was leaving work yesterday and she stopped me to wish me a happy Easter.
“Stephen is coming home this holiday. He’s bringing his fiance. She’s a doctor too, you know. How is Tim? Don’t tell me he’s still not graduated?…”
“Oh, Faye, don’t be silly! Astrophysics takes YEARS to graduate from. It’s not as simple as medicine. But, yes, he is close to graduating.”
“Is he coming home for Easter? I can’t imagine spending holidays without my children; how dreadful! Oh, but he’s all the way in California…it costs so much to fly here, I assume.”
I grinned. “Yes, it does. But he’s such a sweetheart, he’s flying me out there this year! Taking a break from his studies and humanitarian efforts to have his dear ol’ Mom around for Easter. I’m so lucky!”
“…yes, well, have a nice time, Emily. Happy Easter!”
“You too, Kay! Oh, I mean Faye!”
you know, like i said before, i don’t like to lie. it does seem very silly to have let this go on for so long. Tim has been a fabrication in the making for over 5 years now, he almost feels real to me.
when i see Faye, i have images of my fake son, looking so handsome in his lab coat as he’s peering into a microscope looking at dust particles from a comet. i see him jogging with his dog on the beach. i see him hiking and biking and climbing. i see him helping an elderly woman with her groceries.
it’s a true testament that if you lie, or let a lie go on for a while, it becomes a solid thing that you have to keep up with.
oddly enough, i don’t lose sleep on this lie. i don’t see her often enough to fib about this on a daily or consistent level. Faye never cared anything about me or my life until she had something to try to one-up me on. SHE is the one losing sleep on account of her Stephen not succeeding quite like my Tim. it’s amazing how this lie has eaten her alive and made me feel proud of something that doesn’t even exist…
eh well.
i’ll be boarding the fake plane to Berkeley this afternoon, to celebrate Easter with my fake son.
Mama’s soooo proud of you, Timmy!


Au where Jasper is alive and work with David and Gwen.
Then comes the cultist, Daniel and Jason to ruin their day.

(click for captions)

Jason is from this masterpiece by @zoruui


Hey Scott. So I’m here. Im in Quantico, Virginia. At the FBI. I’m at the freaking FBI. It’s real. I’m really here. I kinda told Lydia that I miss her and I can’t wait to get home, but listen Scott. Whatever you’re doing right now make sure you’re still getting out of Beacon Hills. I mean maybe you think you can’t leave like the whole thing falls apart if you’re not there which I get. But you have to. I know you’re supposed to drive out tonight so if you don’t call me back just promise me you’re actually going. Just get in the jeep and go.


here’s some stuff i did cuz it’s been a while since i posted or whatever
the last max is just me redrawing the max @ttoba did on twitter c r i e s
also, i wanted to use the way @zoruui colours, but i didnt have photoshop so i had to both improvise and suffer on sai

Time for some more rambling. I’m not sure if this is something that’s already been touched on in the fandom, but I was rewatching the The First Avenger recently and I’m pretty sure the train was set up by Hydra to be a trap for Bucky… 

Let’s start by looking at the scene where Steve rescues Bucky from the Hydra munitions factory. When Schmidt sees that Captain America has infiltrated the facility, he sets the building to destruct. Zola sees what Schmidt is doing and he freaks the hell out.

Now, Zola is normally a groveling worm when it comes to Schmidt. He knows better than to stand up to him; but there’s something that tips him over the edge here–if just for a second.  

We already know there are a handful of other munitions factories across Europe (which is part of the reason Schmidt can be so casual about blowing up this one). Wanting to save the weapons might be part of Zola’s reaction here, but that really isn’t reason enough for him to risk Schmidt’s anger (which can be deadly). At this point in time, there’s nothing in the factory they can’t afford to lose. 

Except for Bucky. 

Sergeant Barnes is the first one to show signs he might survive his stint in the isolation ward. He’s the first one to show signs that he might be responding to Zola’s attempts to create his own super soldier. That research is only located in one place, and Schmidt is about to send Zola’s breakthrough up in flames. The moment Zola realizes he can’t stop Schmidt, he makes a break for the lab to try to rescue his notes. Of course there’s no way he can carry Bucky out of there, so he has to make do with what he can get.  

In a painful twist of fate, Steve does Zola a favor by saving Bucky. 

Take a look at this standoff on the scaffold. Here the audience is meant to focus on Steve and Schmidt going head-to-head for the first time; but pay attention to Bucky and Zola. This is their standoff, too. Follow their line of sight. They’re not looking at Steve and/or Schmidt through most of this scene. They’re looking at each other, and you can almost see the realization on Zola’s face that his experiment might just be saved. 

Don’t you dare look at Bucky like that, you asshole. 

Also, can I just point out the look on Bucky’s face when he spots Zola?

If looks could kill. 

Not to mention his face when he sees what Schmidt looks like under the mask. Sure, Bucky’s line asking Steve if he has “one of those” is meant to be a joke for the audience; but I think Bucky’s experience as a character is a lot different from our experience outside the fourth wall. He’s genuinely scared–for Steve, for himself. You can see the trace of tears in his eyes. 

Bucky knows something awful has been done to him at the hands of Hydra, and he doesn’t know if he’s going to lose his humanity, too. 

Jump ahead and Captain America and the Howling Commandos are now laying waste to anything and everything Hydra. Things are looking bad for our villains.

This is an interesting line, because the movie doesn’t exactly tell us what Zola’s mission is. Maybe we’re supposed to think his mission is to make sure the weapons are finished in time to meet Schmidt’s timeline for world domination. Or maybe it’s to kill Captain America. And maybe those things are part of his job, but as Zola himself says, “I merely develop the weapons. I cannot fire them.” His primary job is research and development, not tactical planning and defense. 

Now that Hydra is up against a super soldier, it’s likely that Schmidt is anxious to get his own super soldiers into combat. The easiest and fastest way to complete that research, of course, is to retrieve Sergeant Barnes. (In theory, Zola could use Steve for experimentation if he caught him; but he would have to start the experiment from scratch. Peggy made it clear earlier in the film that it would take them years to find out the formula using Steve’s blood. Chances are good the same would apply to Zola. The work on Bucky is already underway, it’s Zola’s own handy work, and Bucky’s still weak enough to be an easy catch compared to Steve.)

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, directly after Schmidt gives Zola the ultimatum to “finish his mission,” we cut to the Howling Commandos laying in wait for the train. They’re hoping to catch Zola, whose location has somehow been leaked, and it quickly becomes clear that the scummy doctor hasn’t been caught by surprise. In fact, everything indicates that Zola was the one laying in wait for them. He’s surveilling the entire train from a command center and issuing orders to strategically placed Hydra soldiers.

When Steve and Bucky board the car, Zola deliberately separates them.

Divide and conquer is a tried and true tactic, but look at the difference in the opponents sent after them. Steve is given a huge opponent armed to the back teeth with a Tesseract energy gun. But Bucky? Bucky faces off against one traditionally-armed guard. (EDIT: In a subsequent viewing I noticed he actually faces off against two guards, but the second one is barely seen and is removed from the equation fairly quickly.)

Why wasn’t that guard given an energy weapon too? My guess would be because Zola didn’t want his guinea pig harmed too badly. Bullet wounds can heal, but disintegration is forever. 

It might also be telling that when Steve and Bucky are back in the same compartment together, Zola screams “kill him” not “kill them.” It’s up for debate who Zola meant for the guard to target; but since he was initially sent after Steve, it’s my assumption that’s who Zola meant for him to shoot.    

As we all know, the plan goes horribly awry on both sides and Bucky falls to his seeming death. Zola is captured and, when Colonel Philips tells him that “the last guy you cost us was Captain Roger’s closest friend,” Zola barely acknowledges it with a creeptacular grin. 

He knows. He knows whatever he did to Bucky would keep him alive. And, as it turns out, even as a captive Zola will gain the means to finish his little experiment. 


  • *something horrible happens*
  • a rightfully concerned individual: omg are you okay?
  • my emotionally stunted air-moon ass: lol, whatever, it's No Big Deal, shit like this happens to people all the time... The Worst Thing I can do is blow it out of proportion,, god forbid I experience Emotions, much less Talk about them lmfao... what am I, five?? don't think so haha nice try but ur barking up the wrong tree here

Hey! Sorry, I know it’s been a while since I posted a one-shot! Believe me when I say I have a lot of stuff in the works… school has just been kicking my ass.

This is for this prompt, requested by @legendarylangst.

So Lance and Keith are neighbors - their bedrooms share a wall - (apartments) anyway, Lance gets sick - like rlly sick - so he stays home and tries to sleep it off, but in his sleep he moans ans groans because even in his sleep he’s in pain. and Keith thinks he’s getting off,, and bangs on the wall ans then when it doesnt stop he goes to the door and pounds on the door until Lance answers while in a blanket

Hope you guys enjoy!

Lance hated being sick.

Not that he’d ever admit that he was, but he despised it all the same. It wasn’t even the symptoms that bothered him the most, even though those sucked. It was the feeling of not being able to do anything. There was nothing Lance hated more than being useless.

Still, despite his protests, Hunk had decided that Lance couldn’t possibly go into work that day. The guy was usually a big pushover, except when it came to his friends’ health. Then all bets were off.

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I can’t stop thinking about the finale and the part where David finally learned that Max was never signed up for a camp because his parents didn’t care. And like,,,,it hurts so much more when you think about it more because then you realize that David was saying how Max would FINALLY be able to show off how good he was at his camp, but…

He didn’t have a camp. David literally was saying, “Now let’s go show everyone how great you are at-!” But there was nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. And it shows how fucking horrible Max’s parents are because whatever camp a kid went to was what that kid was good at or enjoyed, and his parents basically put down that he was good at nothing. That really fucking hurts that they sent their kid away because they didn’t want to bother with him while also saying he wasn’t good at anything, and I’m going to punch his parents in the fucking face.


other people: im glad dipper and candy didnt actually get together in canon and instead were both able to move on and stay friends

me: i respect that, however, i suck, and also i have an au and i can do whatever i want

We know for a fact that Akechi’s power started out weak.


Sounds familiar.

In terms of ‘berserking’ at the point when he received his power, what we’re talking about is the means to cause embarrassment and loss of face at most, if even some of his later ‘exploits’ are anything to go by (specifically, prompting a chef to take nude selfies of himself). 

Akechi had known well at age fifteen, that he could use the powers to some degrees of success. There weren’t exactly any leashes on him regarding that matter. He may even have run riot with petty psychic crimes - nothing notable let alone dangerous- before he got into the ‘big leagues’, so to speak. 

With that said… he would never have even reached that on his own.

Even with the immense freedom in his power, he had to truly solidify his conviction for the power to be any ‘real use’. It’s the same reason why Haru’s Persona barely took form at all, even though it was there.

Similarly, facing her father was the catalyst for her Persona’s ‘true’ awakening- the means with which to awaken and channel the anger in her soul. To betray him, and take her freedom.

I don’t believe this was a coincidence. This is heavily paralleled in Akechi… and with horrible irony. Haru’s conviction to not be a puppet is brutally subverted.

Somehow, awakening to his true power trapped Akechi.

Funny isn’t it…. to note that this kid, who supposedly had an all-consuming, burning desire for revenge against his father at whatever cost, one that seemed to surpass all else and consume him whole… had a piss-poor Persona. And it was only after coming into contact with his father, that he became ‘truly resolute’ in exacting the revenge on him in the first place. 

The implications of that are… interesting, to say the least.

It’s also notable that Akechi’s black garb is noted as his ‘true self’ when in reality, it’s his clothing bound up in wraps and belts, and he flashes into that form…

…when he’s losing control of himself. 

1. I think it’s likely that Tumblr “safe mode” blocking teen-friendly LGBT content is a poorly chosen/implemented filtering system, and not deliberate censorship.

2. I also think it’s inexcusable for @staff to not immediately respond when people are pointing this out.  A fix may take time to implement, but a post saying “we hear you, we didn’t want this, and we’re working on it” would be easy enough to make.

3. Making “safe mode” mandatory for users under 18 was a really, really bad idea.  If they wanted to introduce it as an optional experimental feature, then whatever, it’s only mildly offensive.  But rolling out their broken-at-best filter as mandatory because “think of the children!” was just a horrible idea.


Every fandom needs an avatar crossover amirite

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GoT 7x07 Finale Thoughts Part II

Okay, so I forgot two things I really wanted to talk about. Actually, I forgot one thing and the other thing came to me while I was out and about being a (fake) adult.

This is entirely Jonsa-centric, so if you’re here for less shippy stuff… well, this ain’t it xD Sorry. 

First thing, the Ashford Tourney theory. This is the original theory from Reddit a few years back, so I’m not claiming any of this (and anything in italics is from the original post). For people who don’t know, what it basically talks about is GRRM’s The Hedge Knight and the Tourney at Ashford Meadow. Lord Ashford holds a tourney for his daughter’s 13th name-day and the remaining 5 champions defending her are: 

  1. Lyonel Baratheon
  2. Leo Tyrell
  3. Tybolt Lannister
  4. Humfrey Hardyng
  5. Prince Valarr Targaryen

The theory goes on to point out that the names of these houses correspond quite nicely with the suitors that Sansa later has in ASoIaF: 

  1. Sansa’s first betrothed to Joffrey Baratheon
  2. Sansa’s then planned to be wed to Willas Tyrell
  3. Sansa’s married to Tyrion Lannister
  4. Sansa’s now being betrothed to Harry Hardyng (in the books)

Now, however, the theory then talks about how it’s Aegon VI Targaryen that will be Sansa’s 5th suitor, not Jon despite him being a Targaryen as well. The theory is quite compelling and it says that although the theories that Aegon isn’t really a Targaryen at all doesn’t matter because it’s the name that counts, since technically Joffrey isn’t really a Baratheon, but he is at the time of the betrothal. The OP also says there is no happy ending for Sansa and her suitors, as in The Hedge Knight, none of the 5 champions end up marrying Lady Ashford. 

However, that doesn’t necessarily spell doom for Sansa. I’m going to talk about the show now and how this helps the case for Jonsa. Clearly, D&D didn’t feel that Aegon VI was an important enough character and cut him out. There’s a meta floating somewhere about how this is negatively affecting the story, but I can’t find it right now. Anyway, that actually works in Jonsa’s favour because if Aegon was supposed to end up with Sansa in some way and affect her storyline that drastically, being her final suitor and all, he’d be included. And D&D also cut out the Hardyng storyline because it would’ve taken too long to conclude and they needed Sansa back with Jon as soon as possible. 

So maybe OP was wrong. Maybe it’s not Aegon VI that ends up being Sansa’s last suitor but Jon. And yes, the Ashford Tourney didn’t end up with a happy ending, but just because there are parallels doesn’t mean the ending is always the same. It would be just like GRRM to have history repeating itself but subverted in a way that’s different. Also, this quote from Sansa makes me want to believe she does have a somewhat happy ending in the end:

“No one will ever marry me for love. It’s my claim they want.” 

This is true. Every suitor thus far has been betrothed to her or married her for her name and her claim to the North in some way or another. Sansa is ‘the key to the North’, as it were, and if/when Jon loses his crown, a union between them would give him back the North. Or it would at least solidify his claim on the North as he would have none being a full Targaryen. But the twist is Sansa will be married for love as well as her claim. She will have both in Jon. 

Now my second point is this: 

The 7x07 finale revealed that Sansa and Arya have been playing Littlefinger the entire time. It was satisfying; it was beautiful; it was quite frankly the first time our Stark sisters actually felt like their characters. But they never explain for how long Arya and Sansa were in cahoots. Was it from the very beginning? Or when Arya hands Sansa the dagger? Honestly, despite how satisfying that was to watch, the entire plot was still rather convoluted. I still hated the way they mischaracterised Arya for the sake of it. But the point of the whole plot was to show that it is now ‘a time for wolves’. From Seasons 1-5, the story has continuously beaten down the Starks. They were too honourable, too weak, too naive, too honest, too blindingly loyal to win in the game of thrones, where deceit and cruelty are rewarded. But Season 6 saw a Stark reunion and finally a Stark victory. What I believe they were trying to do with Season 7 is show that the Starks are real contenders now in this world. They’re no longer too honourable or too honest to be manipulative, too weak to kill their enemies with ruthless precision, too naive or blindingly loyal to those who don’t deserve it. Sansa and Arya show that as a collective duo. 

What does this have to do with Jonsa, you ask? 

Well, a lot of us in the fandom believe in Undercover Lover Jon for great reasons, but I know a lot of us were also hoping for something more concrete to live off of in the hiatus between now and the final season. Of course, I never thought it would happen. That’s the kind of reveal you save for the final season; that’s the kind of ‘gotcha!’ moment D&D salivate over. But fear not, it actually works out in our favour. Showing Arya and Sansa manipulating someone this season allows room for Jon to do the same in the next season. It’s foreshadowing that it will not be a House Targaryen restoration, but rather a House Stark. And whatever Jon’s real name and heritage may be, he is still a Stark at heart and he’s not above manipulating someone despite what he claims to say to Cersei. The fact that Sansa uses LF’s ‘love’ for her against him also is very foretelling of the possibility of Jon using Dani’s ‘love’ for him against her. 

I think it’s also really interesting to note that after Jon and Dani do the nasty, it cuts to Sansa and Arya overlooking Winterfell and Sansa saying:

“It’s just strange. In his own horrible way, I believe he loved me.” 

And in his own horrible way, LF did. He loved the idea of Sansa, of her resemblance to Cat, the power she wields with her name and her intelligence that matches his. But it was also fake. LF used Sansa for his own gain. He manipulated her for a long time. Now I don’t believe Jon is as cruel or as manipulative as LF in any way, shape or form, and I don’t think he dislikes Dani either. He’s attracted to her. He thinks of her well enough, though I still am under the assumption that he doesn’t fully trust her and is still wary of her. After all, he still has yet to offer any personal information on his end. She has given and given with him, confiding in him, asking for his advice, but Jon has done nothing of the sort. He doesn’t say anything he doesn’t have to. All of their conversations that wasn’t ‘bend or die’ related always ends up with Jon appeasing her, appealing to her in some emotional way. The most ‘personal’ thing he does is bending the knee to her. So in my opinion, this line foreshadows Jon’s betrayal of Dani, which would also, mind you, coincide perfectly with the prophecy that Dani will be betrayed by a lover. 

It’s also interesting that the boatbang between our two resident Targaryens is followed by a loving conversation between our two resident Starkling sisters, where Sansa also says:

“When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.”

A lot of people are wondering if this means Jon will die again. I do have my theories on that, which I won’t clutter this post with, but I also think it’s there to solidify that Jon will always be a Stark at heart, and in spite of how it may seem now, he’s with them. He’s following the pack, and guess what the pack has just done? They’ve just manipulated someone. 

Another thing to think on: remember how mad we were at D&D’s portrayal of Arya? Remember how uncharacteristic she was? In the end, our true Arya came back to us. So now, we’re all mad at D&D’s portrayal of Jon and how uncharacteristic he is. I hope that in the end, our true Jon will come back to us too. Convoluted as these storylines may be, I have to believe that though the route sucks, the conclusion will be satisfying for all of us. 

EDIT: I just realised something else. Jon’s speech to Cersei and then to Tyrion seem to centre on Jon being exactly like Ned. At first, this upset me because I don’t want to see Jon falling down the same path Ned did in Season 1, but then it occured to me, do you guys know what Ned also did? He lied to the world, to his betrothed, to protect his family and to protect his sister’s secret and subsequently Jon. So if Jon is Ned 2.0, would it really be so far-fetched to believe that he is also lying to the whole world to protect his family, his pack?  

Jonsa is endgame, friends. Party on! 

Woods of Chaos

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 2025

Warnings: “Scary to Sexy to Cute and Cuddly” and NSFW gifs…

@deanwinnchesterisbae asked “Could you do a one shot where reader is having an anxiety attack and Bucky helps her and they realise their feelings for eachother, fluff and smut(?) ensues, etc. Just super cute and cuddly and sexy? Thank you so much! I hope you do good on your exams or papers or whatever you have to do if you haven’t already taken them. ❤”

A/N: Mentions of anxiety attack so if that makes you uncomfortable, please leave now! Don’t want to make anyone feel horrible. Thank you and enjoy. Also, if you have any tips on writing better smut, do let me know. Please!!!

Permanent Tag List: @meganlane84 @mizzzpink @bringmetheemobands @kimistry27 @fireandicewillsuffice @vacam79 @amrita31199 @badassbaker @feelmyroarrrr @aekr @sexy-sea-basss @isaxhorror @actual-bucky-barnes-trash @cassandras-musings @kimistry27 @mo320 @ssweet-empowerment

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just because your anger at something is justified doesn’t mean that lashing out at people with that anger is also justified.

example: a person says something horrible to you and you get mad about it. this anger is valid, it’s reasonable, it’s justified. you go home mad and take your anger out on your roommate by screaming at them, slamming things around, punching walls, whatever else. these actions are not justified.

your feelings about a certain situation or person can be 100% totally reasonable and valid but that doesn’t mean that going on to use those feelings as a weapon against someone who is innocent in all of it is okay. 

anonymous asked:

Hey Mun, I got a quick question for ya, but please don't think of it like I'm attackin you or anything~! What kind of asks do you refuse to answer? Are there any topics or questions that are in general kinda stupid and you don't want your chars answering them? Or things you don't want to hear period? I'm asking cos I don't wanna send asks that;ll make ya uncomfortable or less motivated or whateva. u prob get many asks /day and a repeat of the same stuff is not all that good in certain context

Oh my whole hearted goodness, this’s a damn tasty question!! Thanks so much for asking!

Only a TEENSIE WEENSIE bit of things don’t agree with me. The tastebuds in my head & heart aren’t picky, so no pressure my dude! Asking should feel lemon squeezy.

BUTT the few things that I can’t digest are when people take this blog or its characters too seriously.
Believe it or not, Ripley- I get a lotta peeps who’ll try to get on Sanzu’s good side by comin in here with some heavy, heavy luggage (like, say, “my grandmother just died”) and using that to appease him. (”You can have her body” for example.) It happens a hell of a lot, and it’s totally uncool to say I’m not exaggerating in the slightest.
Please don’t use your super real personal tragedies as an olive branch to these super not-real characters, that’s not gravy.

Secondly, when y’all precious babes shoot me asks sayin you feel ignored or unheard bc my fellas haven’t answered yet, it rubs me the wrong way. Normally it wouldn’t, I’d understand! But I’ve had Drebae show off how incredibly full the inbox is several, several times, so those “I feel ignored” asks read more like “hey, Special👏 treatment👏 over👏 here👏 puh-leEEEZUH.👏” Like ya don’t care about the hundreds of thousands of other people goin’ unanswered bc I’m only half robot on my dad’s side & I didn’t get the genetic coding that allows me to answer everyone at the speed of light.

🎶 LLLLASTLY BUT NOT LEASTLYYY~! 🎶 This kinda refers back to the first whine I muttered about personal stuff, but I’m also not quite comfortable with people using their personal disabilities/situations as an introduction? I’m prayin to whatever god cares enough that y’all understand where I’m coming from here, because I do NOT want you guys to think you should stay quiet about your problems, but like I said– I just don’t like how serious some peeps are treating this blog! 
I’ve gotten people who are suicidal, people talking about their panic attacks as it’s happening, people talkin about family deaths and all this horrible stuff as if some comic-book characters on tumblr are the go-to instead of 911, and that shit’s scary, bro. Just, why? whyyyyyy, buddy??

Again again again! Have respect for yourself and your loved ones, don’t use personal tragedy as an ice breaker or a line to go fishing with. If you’re having serious problems, get professional help. (There are plenty of places to go or people to contact in case of a crisis, like I’ or 7 cups! )

Phew, thanks for lending me your earballs- but damn if that ain’t a finger-lickin’ good question you asked.
Before I smother my typing fingers and put an end to this novel of a post, I just wanna clarify that ye, I DO get a lot of these kind of asks, but that isn’t what makes up my ask box. 90% of you babes have awesome, kind-hearted, interesting, wicked tasty, soul-thirsty things to say and ask and I cherish all you babies in the deepest chambers of my heart.

Pokemon game concept

You play as Arceus and you have to invent the world.

You gotta do stuff like:

  • Stopping your horrible Legendary children when they bicker
  • horrible horrible bickering children
  • When Giratina appears you have to send it back to the Distortion World or things start to warp
  • you get to choose the order in which you create the regions (not necessarily the canon ones? just like, go wild n design ‘em yourself or whatever) but
  • after X amount of time, Arceus is tired. gotta take a nap for 100-1000 years. have you made sure there are safeguards to stop your horrible children from wrecking the world? (eg you’ve locked up Palkia and Dialga away from each other for a bit so the space-time continuum remains mostly in-tact, if you’ve made Groudon and Kyogre you’ve also installed Rayquaza or else the continents may not be where you left them)
  • things will Still Happen while you’re asleep tho. spice up your life. depends on how long you sleep
  • maybe Mew decides to get involved in making Legendaries too and you have to be aware of what might be required for damage control
  • no Mew why would you make Yveltal why i was asleep. i gotta stop it eating the survivors and also make a Big Deer
  • populations of ‘mons in regions are randomised by the biomes and space and stuff
  • you might end up with a region where there are a bunch of different ‘mons or just Bidoofs and Magikarps and maybe a Sunkern. RNG’s a Heck.
  • you can dedicate time to altering the diversity of a region if you really want after the fact but you’ve only got so much time before you gotta nap again and there’s A LOT TO MANAGE
  • once you’ve got most of the Legendaries and their constraints in place things get easier OR DO THEY
  • at some point once the Legendaries are set to go, humans show up, they’re probably from another world? idk the whole thing’s weird and vague
  • you gotta deal with their shenannigans and now when you nap you might wake up to your current region suddenly being colonised
  • or humans messing with the Legendaries so you gotta interfere and send a Holy Ten-Year-Old to deal with it
  • or Suddenly Human War
  • ultra beasts?? ???? who let them in???
  • how do you deal with the artificial ‘mons?
  • what is Deoxys?????
  • if a human finds you while you’re nappin you wake up Grumpy and function at half capacity for the rest of your waking time so you gotta make sure your naptime place is too difficult to reach
  • more??

aim of the game is to create all of the Pokemon in the Pokedex. once you’re done you can either just sit and watch your world carry on by itself, or become Micromanage God and start poking things for no reason

I love the Aphrodite blessing lol


I know this comic looks horrible, but whatever. xD I’m reading the second Percy Jackson series finally and I just started the second book after thoroughly enjoying the first. Also, don’t ask me why the Aphrodite Blessing makes her look like an 80s’ beauty queen. IT JUST DOES. 

feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • [ TEXT ] I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
  • [ TEXT ] This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left…bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
  • [ TEXT ] I bet your mom’s never met a girl who’s thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
  • [ TEXT ] Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry’s mind
  • [ TEXT ] You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn’t have predicted the housing crisis.
  • [ TEXT ] I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
  • [ TEXT ] I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
  • [ TEXT ] I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t take a pillow from my bed. You don’t know which ones of them my vagina has been on
  • [ TEXT ] I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that’s not awesome customer service, I don’t know what is.
  • [ TEXT ] my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it’s literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
  • [ TEXT ] that’s what I’m here for. I’m literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
  • [ TEXT ] sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
  • [ TEXT ] All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
  • [ TEXT ] Dude I turned down free booze. I think I’m growing as a person.
  • [ TEXT ] Can’t tell if it’s the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
  • [ TEXT ] it was a hallmark card with butt plugs
  • [ TEXT ] Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It’ll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
  • [ TEXT ] It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
  • [ TEXT ] His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
  • [ TEXT ] If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
  • [ TEXT ] We’re lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we’re okay. I think they all understand.
  • [ TEXT ] Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend
  • [ TEXT ] i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering “why” in various inflections.
  • [ TEXT ] Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
  • [ TEXT ] Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
  • [ TEXT ] I couldn’t find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
  • [ TEXT ] Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I’ve never met before.
  • [ TEXT ] Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
  • [ TEXT ] how do i act around someone who’s shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
  • [ TEXT ] he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
  • [ TEXT ] I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
  • [ TEXT ] Why can’t they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I’m meant to be?
  • [ TEXT ] There’s nothing like when u really click with a stripper
  • [ TEXT ] Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
  • [ TEXT ] I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
  • [ TEXT ] Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
  • [ TEXT ] He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
  • [ TEXT ] That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
  • [ TEXT ] You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him “shouldn’t you be yelling at dragons”
  • [ TEXT ] I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.