also there should be a next time

ifgrasswereblue  asked:

Soulmate Au where you absolutely must laugh at ur sm sense of humour? Also please: Dayum Will u got it hard with all of Hannibal's cannibal puns. >w<

It starts off when Will finds himself laughing uncontrollably on a normal Friday evening. His dogs stare at him, heads cocked in curiosity.

It happens again the following Saturday. Jack mentions the next time he sees Will that Hannibal hosted a wonderful dinner party, such a gracious host, Will should join them time.

That’s when he starts to wonder. Hannibal never struck him as someone particularly funny but - well? Maybe?

Hannibal invites him over but Will can’t quite bring himself to stay. He deposits a nice bottle of wine along with his apologies, but he lingers, just long enough to watch Hannibal work a little with those rolled up sleeves and muscled forearms.

They are rather distracting.

And then the topic of Hannibal’s change in profession comes about and when Hannibal says “I transferred my passion for anatomy into the culinary arts”, Will has no idea why he’s suddenly laughing hysterically.

It’s worded a little too baroquely, sure, but it’s not funny. Hannibal just stares at him, his mouth ticking up at the corner.

Will lets the laughter run out, his head between his knees, taking as many deep breaths as he can. Then he starts to do the math and his blood runs cold. He straightens up so fast he goes a little light-headed.

“Holy shit,” Will says, “you’re the Chesapeake Ripper.”

Hannibal doesn’t really react to this, just politely sets down his knife and raises his eyebrows.

“Which would mean that you’re my soulmate.”

Will swallows hard. “Oh, shit.”

He runs out into the night and doesn’t look back.

-x-

Five years later

Hannibal serves the meat to their guests, meticulously arranged on blood-red plates with white lettuce, stewed cranberries and nettle sauce.

“Ooh,” coos a woman to Will’s right, “what is this.”

“Turkey,” Hannibal replies. “Though this particular bird was in quite a foul mood.”

Will bursts out laughing, so hard and loud that he almost falls off his chair. The rest of the room falls awkwardly silent.

“Please don’t mind my husband,” Hannibal says with a smile. “He has a dreadful sense of humour.”

6

Denise: Hello?

Dina: Hello, Denise? It’s Dina Cali- Dina Bachelor here. Brandi’s friend?

De: Of course, Dina. It’s lovely to hear your cheerful voice. What can I do for you?

Di: Well, of course I should have called much sooner, but I cannot thank you and Luis enough. For the lamp.

De: Luis gets all the credit for it, dear. His lamp, his choice.

Di: Michael and I would love to call on you both, if that’s OK? He really wants to shake the hand of the man who’s given us this second chance.

De: That would be wonderful.

Di: We’d also like to introduce you both to our little boy, Luis.

De: [choking up] Luis will be positively thrilled, Dina. This news really couldn’t come at a better time.

Di: Great! How about next week, or-

De: Oh no, no. If… if you want to see Luis, you’ll need to come over within the next few days, I’m afraid.

HELLO EVERYBODY!!! (-^   O ^-) i’ve been away for like… a week and a half because of health and family reasons~ but wow! (^   v ^) *pfft!* it actually feels like it’s been a month or more! LOL! LOL! LOL! i hope everyone has been having a nice time since Valentines day! have i missed anything exciting!? AH! (7O   [  ]O)7 it’s Otayuri week i see!!! what a thing to miss!!! i should make up for it a bit next week with sketches for each theme or something! (-^  3 ^-) that would be fun! ALSO!!! isn’t it time for the Final Fantasy XV update?!?!? GAH!! i need to get on that!!!

OH! (O //w//O) and my husband surprised me with a copy of Tales of Zestiria!!! i’ve never played a Tales game before but i was always really interested in that one?! now i have it!!!! i can’t wait to play it!!! (^   w ^) ALSO! i re-watched all of season one of Seven Deadly Sins while i was sick in bed!!! (-^ ____^-) season two just started and i’ve been enjoying it so much!!! so, there will probably be one piece from that coming some time! hahaha! it’s not a fandom i see myself getting into~ but there’s one character in particular who i love, so i envision myself doing something of him! <3 <3 <3

WELL!!! (-^   O ^-) looking forward to being back!!! thank you so much to everybody who sent me messages while i was away! i’m sorry i didn’t leave a hiatus message! i really didn’t realize i’d be gone so long! (^  v ^) if anybody has stories to share feel free to send me an Ask! missed you guys!!! <3 <3 <3 love love!! *HUGS*

anonymous asked:

How dare you!!!!!! I was fine. I was having an okay day. Then I saw your... Ugh I can't even think about it without getting hot and bothered. When he flipped her over (the first time) I had to clench my thighs. Like I cursed out loud and I got a very bad look from n elderly lady. I'm alive, but FREAKING BARELY!!!!!!! I was just waiting for him to choke her...I was waiting for the last nail in my freaking coffin. Why must you attack me so? Also please never stop. Jdjsuwndjdjdndndjsiejsjdndjsjshdj

BY AN ELDERLY LADY HAHAHAHAHA OMG you should have shown her this is why you cursed

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

and she would have been like “fuck okay”

O M G wow i honestly didnt even think of choking when i wrote it and wow if i remembered i would definitely have added that. Guess i gotta save it for next time

3

and you call yourself a spy Natasha

7

12 Days until Woohyun’s Birthday - Woohyun through the Eras  

7

Heads up! Yuri On Ice spoiler alert! If you haven’t already watched the last episode, skip what I write, THEN come back!




I just realized something……..

Viktor tells Yuuri that in compensation for him being his coach again for another year as he also competitively figure skates again under Yakov, that Yuuri should try to do what Viktor did.

Yuuri asks him to stay as his coach for one more year, telling Viktor that he will definitely win gold in next years Grand Prix Final. BUT, Viktor with his eager eyes, and love struck face, tells him ok good! But keep going he tells him. Viktor tells Yuuri to keep going, surprising Yuuri for a moment. Viktor goes on saying how it will be difficult to both make a comeback and train again as a competitive skater and also train Yuuri. In exchange he tells Yuuri, “I’ll need you to become a 5 time Worlds Champion at least.”

For those who don’t know, The World Championships takes place after the Grand Prix Final and will take place between March 28-April 3 of 2016 (remember the Grand Prix Final in YOI took place last year in December).

Viktor is telling Yuuri to keep on going, to keep on competing, to try to get to his level by pushing and encouraging him to win gold for the Worlds like he did because he knows Yuuri can do it.

IF THERE IS GOING TO BE AN OVA LET IT BE FUCKIN WORLDS SO YUURI CAN WIN GOLD.


ALSO! Regarding Viktor!

Viktor said he is going to be training himself up again to compete in the Russian Figure Skating Championships. Now keep in mind it was too late for him to skate in it because it was taking place around the same time as the GPF. So he literally has until September of 2016 to train and win the series of competitions in Russia for the Final. He took a year off of training to coach Yuuri so it’s going to take him some time to get back in proper shape to skate competitively again. It’s not an over night thing even if you have been skating for years, he has to get himself training and body physically fit again rigorously. Viktor has 9 months to train for the Russian Championships when the first round of competitions begins. It is partly why Yuuri moved to Russia at the end of the episode and why the next season we more than likely get to know Viktor more and any family he has as we will be leaving Japan and heading to Russia. 

Season 2 we will more than likely see Viktor compete in the Russian Championships as Yuuri competes for the Grand Prix Final again. 

But once again, CAN WE PLEASE HAVE AN OVA OF YUURI COMPETING IN WORLDS???? PLEASE??? 

3

This is probably my fave piece I’ve done so far askjdsy

It was a lot easier than the others and the background was super fun too!!

Natsume Takashi is my precious son ;;;;; I love him pls protect him

afterwards, you stretch empty fingers
into dream-space, wishing
for your own adventure. you pray
 
your hand closes around a dragon egg,
a jewelled sword-hilt,
a bloodstained rose, a crown.
 
you keep your eyes on your shadow,
keep your eyes open
as night’s breathing slows, waiting.
 
the air smells like snow, sharp and clean;
you exhale hard, picturing smoke-clouds,
picturing flames. patience remains
 
fleet-footed as a nymph, her laugh
as mocking. renown lives in distant mountains
past realms unknown, but here,
 
beauty grabs your wrist as you pass,
a bright-eyed temptress draped
in frozen pine needles.
 
afterwards, you build your own story.
you name your favourite pen,
compare word counts like a kill count, argue
 
the merits of quality over quantity. palms
dripping dream-dust, you shape your own world,
your own adventure, chase magnificence
 
at the speed of thought — you know it is yours,
surely as the long-lost heirs of faraway lands
believe in a waiting throne.
—  glorification, for @mirrorsandwindowsabstractedfocus
Cats and Dogs

Originally posted by hellosarang

Note: Originally was just a college au but I incorporated the animal hybrid element because why not.  Also, I’m sorry if this is disjointed but I was literally working on this from 5 different angles.  I’ll be better next time hunnies.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Rating: NC17
Warnings: hybrid!au, frottage, masturbation, voyeurism, slight name-calling/insulting (not in a sexual way though)
Genre: Smut
Word count: 4723

[Mini-Masterlist]

Summary:  When you skip your yearly heat, it causes a different kind of friction between you and that perpetual, thorn-in-your-side mutt named Kim Taehyung. (cat!girl/dog!boy au)

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*

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You should have never engaged Kim Taehyung while you are going through physical difficulties, but he is an expert at egging you on.  The dog hybrid might be a slacker in class, but he’s absolutely conscientious when it comes to pissing you off.  It also doesn’t help that this is the first time in years where you’re late for your heat by a whole month.  Usually you are on-the-dot regular, but with graduation looming and the overwhelming fact that you’ll have to go out into the Real World soon, you’re on edge, and not a little bit stressed out.  

Even Jimin and Jungkook, your two best friends who have been with you from the cradle to adulthood, have taken pains not to be around you too much because you’ve taken to being a little…extreme with your words and actions as of late.  (Read: You were being a Bitch.)  

But Taehyung just doesn’t know when to stop irking you.  

Keep reading

youtube

NEW VIDEO: “Trying Strange Toys ft. Kellie PIckler- this might be the most hilariously disturbing episode of The Tyler Oakley Show yet, and Kellie was cracking me up the ENTIRE time. What a goddess!! Reblog with who YOU want to see on my show next!!

the weirdest cycle of behavior in Reccuring Blizzard Fanbase History was whenever a fan would point out that a given design/voice line/bit of lore/etc was kind of sexist and blizzard would like go and halfassedly change it a month later weird dudes would always be like “you SEE feminists?!?? not EVERYONE is against you…. maybe next time you should WAIT before you complain” as if the changes were not made, at least in part, as a response to the initial criticism and also as if whatever writer being like “oops yeah my bad, that was misogynistic” is something that like…. proves critics Wrong or whatever

“I’m not half as good at–at anything as I am when I’m doing it next to you,” (Tony Stark to Steve Rogers, Avengers Prime Vol.1, #5).

~*~

Another Stony Fanart! This time in 616! They are so romantic and this quote proves how much they love each other; so, why aren’t they married already?!! arrrrghh!!! *cough*…well enjoy! :3

~*~

Also, I apologize that Tony is shorter than he should be. At first I wasn’t going to have him in the suit; but, then I changed my mind. I was already finished the fanart before I realized I should’ve made him taller than Steve. lol

Those who reblog this before December 11th will receive a Pokémon egg!

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You might remember way long ago when I did this last time. Since it is the holiday season, I thought I should do it again. All you have to do is reblog this and I will give you a Pokemon egg! (however, this will be to the first 100) - though I might think about increasing this number 

Also, you need to have a submit box!

———————————————————————————

What you will receive ~ 


Example:


“Here’s your Pokémon egg! Take good care of it ‘til it hatches!”

*next day* “Oh look! Your egg is about to hatch!”

“It hatched into…”

“…a Vulpix! Congratulations!”


This is just one example — you could get any pokemon!

~ SPN 12x12 coda ~

Streetlights gleamed on the hood of the Impala and shone on the windshield as Dean drove past. He listened to the familiar purr and rattle of the old engine. Maybe he should tune the old girl up sometime in the next couple of days. 

You know…when he had the time.

Sam shifted in his sleep and Dean glanced at the rearview mirror to see if he was all right. As they passed under another streetlight, Dean caught a glimpse of Sam curling into the backseat like he used to when they were kids. 

His grip tightened around the steering wheel as his eyes found the road again. Cas let out a long sigh, distracting him for a second. Dean glanced over to find him staring out the window at the passing night.

“Everything all right?” Of course, it would not be, but… 

“No,” Cas said in an irritated sort of huff. Dean’s hands jerked on the wheel, swerving the Impala off to the shoulder. “Dean, no.” He corrected his turn and glared at the asphalt before them. “I’m fine. I feel fine.” 

Dean pursed his lips, looking back in the rearview mirror to check if Sam was still asleep. He was. “Don’t scare me like that, man.”

“Sorry.” 

The only sound in the Impala for a couple of minutes was Sam’s quiet snoring. Dean tapped his thumb on the underside of the steering wheel, searching for the right words. “I…I thought I was gonna lose you.“ Again. He could not go through that again. He cleared his throat when he felt Cas’ eyes on him. “We, I mean.”

“I heard your prayer,” Cas said, softly enough that Dean thought he might have imagined it.

He had prayed – a desperate plea sent out to anyone who would listen. Dean did not remember what he had said. Rather, he remembered the feeling of Cas’ blood and sweat slick against his hand as he held him steady. He remembered the shuddered way Cas struggled for each breath. So yeah, he prayed.

“It was just your voice in my head. I couldn’t understand you exactly, though, since I was a little preoccupied.” Dean sniffed a laugh. “It was…comforting.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean’s eyes darted to the rearview mirror and back to the road, “you said you love – “

Dean’s voice caught and he gulped. He could not just say it outright. What if Cas had not meant it like that? Of course, he did not. Sam and Mom had been there as well and Cas had obviously been talking to them, too. It might have been different had it only been the two of them. Why…why would he… 

“You said you loved us,” he said, cringing at his repeated words. 

“And you called me devastatingly handsome.” 

Dean’s eyebrows arched at the smile in Cas’ voice. “That I did,” he said with an amused snort. He took his eyes off the road for a second to glance over at Cas, catching a glimmer of a smile in his reflection.

Smiling, Dean turned his attention back to the road.

about sirius/james brotp : a list of unorganized thoughts
  •  before the sorting ceremony, even if they knew each other since barely half an hour, sirius made james swore he won’t stop talking to him if he ends up in slytherin
  • they think they have invented everything. like “what do you mean remus we didn’t invent drinking games in the dorm ? excuse you !”
  • they have the most complicated secret hand shake ever which includes singing and rock paper scissor.
  • sirius had always said james should give up on lily because he didn’t like to see his brother hurt, but he was the first to notice lily was warming up to him and wasn’t hating him as much as before, and he started to play matchmaker.
  • james is doing the exact same thing with sirius and remus since fucking day one. he forced them to settle in the beds next to each other.
  • they try to finish each other’s sentences and fail all the freaking time.
  • they also always ask “are you thinking what i’m thinking ?” and end up thinking about something completely different and make a mess
  • sirius started the gryffindor cheerleader team. he was the only member but didn’t care and performed before every match anyway to cheer on his bro
  • try and tell me everyone didn’t believe they were a couple.
  • because they cuddled all the time
  • PLATONIC KISSES ON THE BLOODY LIPS FIGHT ME ON THIS
  • private jokes all the time
  • and now with the angst.
  • james knew since year 2 about sirius’s home situation, and he always knew it would end up like that. he had already asked his parents countless times if they would adopt him if he needed
  • and when it finally happened, sirius slept in james’s bed for the rest of the holidays. the only exceptions were the times remus visited and james gave them some couple privacy
  • when james and lily went to their first date, sirius was sincerly crying because he was scared james would leave him now he had someone else important in his life. it took two hours to remus to comfort him.
  • during the war, sirius would burst into the potter’s home whenever it was too much for him
  • and when they went into hiding, sirius cried for three days. literally.
  • and
  • the
  • 31th
  • of
  • october
  • he felt like his mind was blank and all he could think about was to kill peter. it was the same thought who occupied him most of the twelve years in azkaban - that and his remus who was alone and vulnerable.
7

Kamala Khan improvises her superheroing by dressing up in Pakistani-style version. She meets a local vigilante from Pakistan - Laal Khanjeer also known as Red Dagger. 

- Ms Marvel #12

(And next time, Kamala should team up with the other Muslim heroes such as Dust, Monet, Faiza Hussain and Arabian Knight where they could fight crime, beat up terrorists and bigots.)