also the blog is awesome in case you don't read it already

anonymous asked:

Hi, if you don't mind could you explain what that means because I'm lost, also what trend where you talking about here: "me, being kicked out of school for plagiarism: um you’re not entitled to my emotional labor? find the sources yourself"

um, you’re not entitled to my emotional labour.

No, I’m joking, of course I will explain.

This is a joke about an exchange you might see rattling around tumblr, usually in regards to social justice topics. Someone will ask for an explanation of or clarification on a topic, or advice on how to handle something and they’ll just be told to “educate themselves”, and sometimes told directly that asking is demanding emotional labour of minorities.

(in case you’ve not run across the term, emotional labour originated in describing the extra emotional theatre service workers are expected to perform for customers, but nowdays gets used more broadly to demands for emotional support and processing and free domestic and similar labour which is disproportionately demanded of women and other minorities).

So the joke is about the differing epistemological standards between Tumblr, where that’s appropriate and academia, where you’d actually be punished because you are, quite legitimately, expected to back up your statements.

And the reason that I reblogged it specifically in the meanest way possible is that I do not like the concept of “just educate yourself”. I really, really do not.

This is an idea that comes from a lot of good places, which is what I’m going to start with. But it also gets used in a lot of ways I find at best deeply suspect and at worst fairly toxic, which is why I was reblogging the joke in my nastiest voice.

1. I do think that if you’re going to ask someone for advice directly the polite thing to do is to exhaust your own resources first. The idea that Dr. Google should be your first stop is a good one and I don’t want to bash on it.

2. A lot of this arises from people who get deluged with questions, often invasive, and often repeatedly exerting the right to take a break. AND THAT’S DEFINITELY AWESOME. No one should be compelled to do activism. When someone says “hey can you answer my question” unless you’re actually being paid to educate them, “no” is definitely an excellent and reasonable answer. And if someone tells you their not doing the question answering thing, the only polite option is to gracefully go ask someone else.

3. Some people get tremendously picky about how other people offer them free time and effort and the call to educate yourself comes, in part from people who’ve been offered summaries and curated reading lists and demanded, instead, private lessons. Which is just bloody rude.

BUT, even though “go away and educate yourself” is a totally reasonable idea in many circumstances, as I’ve listed, there are some really icky ways I see some of this getting used.

1. I find the idea that dropping an ask in someone’s open ask box is a “demand” very suspect. Its certainly a request, but there’s no force associated with it. If I’d decided not to answer this, for instance, I could simply delete it. If I kept getting too many asks I could even close my ask box, or turn off anon. You can’t compel me to answer your ask. You can’t punish me for not doing it. (I am perfectly happy to answer this, fyi). Now, the nature of Tumblr means that searching is very hard and its easy to end up deluged with the same basic question over and over. I’m not an education blog, I get few asks and I’ve still been asked what image captions are for 5-6 times. So I get that it can be very frustrating… but its still not a demand.

2. It often seems to carry the idea that finding information is a lot easier than it actually is. Really basic information can be readily googled. But there’s huge amounts of ideas I’ve encountered during fandom conversations, or just floating through tumblr threads, or on ask blogs that I have LITERALLY been unable to find via google, even after a good few hours looking, and that’s for information that I already know. I don’t think this is malicious a lot of the time. When you’re an expert its very easy to loose track of what is and isn’t easy to find for a non-expert. But its still pretty brutal to exhaust your google-skills, go ask something and be told in so many words to “just google it stupid”.

These two aren’t so bad, they’re mostly just a case of conflicting experiences and that happens. But.

3. Even though “go do it yourself” is a great thing to say if you’re looking to avoid activism (and I’ll reiterate I think that’s everyone’s right and you should never feel bad for saying ‘no I’m done/not doing this’ about activism, God knows I do it enough) I see it being used as activism instead. And it gives me a case of the nopes. Because the person who does the educating sets the curriculum. And when you say “go educate yourself” you’re rolling the dice on if the person who does educate them is on your side or not. Especially because it is virtually impossible to fact-check something you’re unfamiliar with. There’s also often a HUGE effort imbalance. Like, sure, it takes me some effort to dig up my “here’s why image captions are a thing” post. And it took me a bit of effort to write it in the first place, but It would probably take the asker a lot longer to google it all up. And that’s a pretty simple topic. I’ve asked activist friends for reading lists before and realistically getting 20-30min help from them has saved me probably 2-3 hours. And the information quality is better on top of that.

4. While this doesn’t happen a huge amount, I see this sometimes attached to very complex issues, or or topics where opinions are very diverse and then it, quite frankly, creeps me out a bit. Because when I see “just educate yourself omg” attached to a post with a strong opinion element, even though it might not be intentional, I cannot help but perceive an undercurrent of “if you were truly educated you’d agree with me” and “how dare you ask for sources, don’t question me, just shut up and do as I say”… and those… those are not good dynamics.

LOVE

so it’s interesting to me that we were all brought here by love. and yet, sometimes our fandom is just the opposite of that. judgmental, hurtful, mean, rude, etc. it has been nice to come back tonight and see all of these lovely messages of love on my dash. 

there’s a reason i’ve never done a follow forever or when i’ve gotten anons asking for a list of other blogs to follow, i’ve said no. i’ve been left out of things before, lots of times in fact, and it always sucks. i’d never want to be the cause of that for someone else. i’m going to try very, very hard here with my list of love.

the stay salty ladies. @alarrylarrie @louandhazaf @theonewiththebluemic @justafatbirdonaboat @fratboylouie @unintentionalarry amanda, nic, lu, katie, julia, ashlee. you guys are so great and i’m so lucky to have made friends with such lovely people. like nic said, the round robin of positivity is amazing. when one of us is down, another one is up, and we help each other through. and not just fandom stuff. you guys have made a huge difference for me, encouraging me to start writing and keep it up, but also other stuff. you know what i’m talking about. i’ve loved getting to know you guys and your families.

the fic chat. all of y’all… i feel like i totally failed you guys with the chat, but we’ve done alright, maybe? i think the best part of the fic club is the friendships that have been made there. i….. don’t want to tag everyone, because that’s really a lot of people to tag lol i’m going to tag a few of you though and hope that everyone sees this post! @loubeesarmy @beccasafan @happilylouie @vintage1der @justapayneaway @mydnytkiss  @harrysdandelion @melmanpur @moonblessd@choncetaking @millionlittletings @captiveharts @lifestyleofpj 

to the rose and dagger chat @nottooldforthisship @loveisalaserquest17 @melmanpur @allwaswell16 @doctorrainbows @tomlinshawpie @letsjustsee @softhie @assisreal @eachothershappyending @waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee i feel like i’ve forgotten someone… anyway, some of you i already talked to somewhat regularly, and i’m looking forward to getting to know the rest of you. i love that our no drama chat has turned into chat of cheese and cats and axes and idek what else. 

some other people @gettingaphdinlarry i don’t know you well, but i like what i know. you’re an awesome beta and super smart. 

@phd-mama getting to know you a little at a time. love your writing, but also that you are an hp freak like me. 

@nottooldforthisship i know i tagged you already, but i love ya. you’re awesome. what you do for the fandom with fic recs is amazing, but also what you do with supporting and encouraging writers is a big thing. i love it.

  @someonethatsfunny i don’t know you well, but i like you. you’re always super sweet when we chat <3 

@softlouiswarmharry you are always so nice about my fics. messaging me when you’ve read them and i just love getting feedback from you. 

@xabjectlessonsx phoenix you’re super super lovely, talented in many facets, and you love dolly parton and cher. enough said. i can’t wait to get my tattoo and send you pics! 

@mllesouthernbelle you called me your fairy larry god mom. i love it. love you!

@muchbetterjulia where are you even? i’m wondering about your hair. let me know. 

@annie-pie we tend to agree on so many random things and i love that i can message you and scream about things that will not be named. 

@waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee kk with our similar blacklists i feel connected to you lol sometimes i look at my dash and know that yours is the same, all little boxes that say “blacklisted because” 

@catp i connect with so many random things that you post. haven’t known you long, but still. LOVE.

@lucystarkid i love you! love your writing and all of the love you put into this fandom!

gdi @twopoppies i forgot you! i love you gina! you’re so talented and so sweet <3

last, but not least, i’m going to come back around and send more love to nic @louandhazaf because i love you extra.

okay that was actually really tiring because i’m sitting here completely paranoid that i’m forgetting someone. 

JUST IN CASE I’VE FORGOTTEN YOU, HAVE SOME EXTRA LOVE!

alecsexual  asked:

Friendly reminder that you're awesome and such an adorable cutie! ;;u;; Also, Baekyeol/Kaisoo are my OTPs to the max. I'd love to be your friend /shies away/ unless you don't want to be friends with me, haha. It's all cool! Also, just wondering if you have AFF?? Or do you post fics?? Any hella good recommendations? (I'm sorry pls ignore me you must have a billion asks already oopS) ;;; (p.s. I love your blog and the level-headedness of your replies!)

BaekYeol/KaiSoo fic Recommendations

(Read my reply to your message below the fanfic recs! :D) Before I start recommending stuff I’m going to answer you first with a no. No, I do not post fanfics lol. I want to, but after I write a chapter or two I lose all motivation to write any more. So basically, writing fanfics isn’t my forte lol.

Okay, so since you’re a BaekYeol/KaiSoo shipper, I’m guessing you already know the classics. In case you missed some, I’m just going to list them down again (since all the classics are breathtaking) ^^

[Legend: +Chaptered; -One-shot; ^Two/Three-Shot]


BaekYeol/KaiSoo classics:

The links I provided for “Anterograde Tomorrow” and “Absolute Chanyeol” is not where it’s originally posted. The original links of those stories are not accessible as of now, so the links I provided are where you can read them ^^ (i hope I won’t get sued for this or sumthing lol) and to read fics by: “jumpthisship”, you need to create a livejournal acc and join her community (she accepts anyone so don’t be lazy!) :D

Oh and, if I forgot any other classics, don’t hesitate to tell me. My mind got a little rusty since I accidentally deleted everything I wrote to answer this ask T__T

Since the fics I listed above are classics, I’m not going to give my opinions abt them. Instead, I’m just going to go on and list my personal favorites. So I’m sorry if some of these might not be of your liking, since they are my faves after all lol. But imo, the fics I’m going to be listing down are all worth the read, so here I go~


Personal Favorites <3 (From lowest to highest. Meaning, the last fic in this list is the best for me)


-CEO SOO IS DA BOMB. Lel, I mean…the Kyungsoo who fans cal “Satansoo” is def CEO DO in this fic xD I love how he’s all strict and all here even though he’s squishy af xD And I also love the slightly stupid Jongin here lel, but I just love tsundere Kyungsoo here xD Oh but beware, there’s also melodrama in here so it’s not just all giggles and that.

-This is just me, and my love for well-written smut. I hate reading smuts that seem…forced or unreal, or just anything cringe worthy actually (how the hell am I one to talk I’m young af). But anyways! Haha, policeman Yeol is hot af so…hehe if you’re searching for smut then read this xD

-THIS IS SO FLUFFY!!!! GAHH BAEK IS SO FCKING CUTE. KYUNGSOO, JONGIN AND CHANYEOL IS SO FCKING FUNNY AND EVERYTHING’S JUST FCKIN’. Loljk no. But really, this fic is extremely fluffy and heart fluttering <3 hihi it’s just squeal and giggle worthy bc Baek is so demn cute. Ugh, there’s no reason to not read this! >u<

-This fic has one of the simplest plots ever. But what can I say, simplicity is beauty. Such a simple story being told in expressive words and sentences, and the way Jongin and Kyungsoo’s relationship progress is just…wow. A very good read :)

-Again this is just me, and my love for well-written smuts hahaha. This fic has made me go whoo~ in more times than I could remember. But maybe it’s just bc I have a thing for dominance and submissiveness in smuts? Idk shame me now hahaha. Again, if you’re in search of good smut fics, read this XD

-I just read this actually hahaha. And I found it funny bc I can seriously imagine Baekhyun and Chanyeol acting like this. And then Jongin, Kyungsoo and the rest are just there getting completely annoyed bc of them. Just…very funny hahaha, read it for laughs, come on. Lift up your mood! ^o^

-This is long, so after reading it…It’s a damn rollercoaster of emotions. You’d feel all giggly, then you’d feel sad, then you’d feel giggly, then you’d feel all hot, then you’d feel all frustrated af. For a ride of different feels, read this fic! 

-Well, it’s….love. wtf? No, I mean…you’ll feel what the characters are going through. Like, you’ll get immersed into their world. Another ride of feels with a dramatic start and a splendid finish. A very good read :)

-This gives an outlook on life. Well maybe it’s bc it’s based on a vid, but still. This fic was as great as the vid it was based on. This fic is going to teach you to not judge anything by basing solely on it’s outer appearance and what other people claim to “know” about it. This is a great read not just for it’s feels, but for it’s moral lesson :)

-Lol, this is me and my love for well-written smut. I mean, who wouldn’t love to see tsundere Baek getting pwned and…well, you know what I mean haha. This is cute in it’s own way too!! (for me at least) And it has a sequel *Q* But I’m not going to post the link bc there’s only like…only 2 chapters and it’s still ongoing. And I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys hanging (although I’m pretty sure you’re going to be reading the sequel anyways).

-This is awesome and awesome and awesome!!! GAHH, it’s literally a “Daily Lives of Highschool Boys” (this is an anime series which can kill you with laughter btw) minus the crack and with the characters falling in love with each other <3 This is super cute and adorbs! And it can also happen in the daily lives of some people so it’s very fun to read ^^

-mpreg! Okay, I’m still young and I know I shouldn’t be having good thoughts abt teen pregnancy, but I can’t help but find Kyungsoo’s pregnancy here as a cute thing. I’ve no plans for being a party goer (my parents would kill me first anyways lol) and I don’t want to be pregnant at such a young age…but I think. That teen moms are people who should be given an award. Not because they got knocked up at such a young age, but bc they chose to give life to somebody. They’re waay better than those teens who you think are good girls, but then you’re gonna find out sooner or later that they had an abortion, just bc they can’t face the responsibilities and consequences of their actions. This is another fic woth a good moral lesson. From the same author too, jjokkomi seems to be awesome at this genre xD

-THIS IS SO CUTE AND CUTE AND ADORABLE. To the highest level!!! Crazy Kyungsoo is the cutest evurr!! OMG!! KYAAAAHHHH!!! I’m sorry, it’s just that I squealed too much for my own good while reading this fic. Hahaha, kei-senpai (I’m feeling giggly by addressing her that >u<) is amazeballs in fluff! <3

-This is a little heartbreaking honestly. But overall it was beautiful <3 You’re going to fall in love with Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s relationship here, it’s just sooo…/sighs dreamily/. I swear kei-senpai takes my breath away with almost every fic she wrote.

-$w4g93r Baek in the house yo! HAHAHA! Baek was so epic in this fic! This fcker is so funny and cute and just…hahaha fic. I swear, kei-senpai is too good at writing fanfics that it’s becoming scary. Lol whoo this is the 3rd of my favorites!! SO THIS IS A MUST READ ALREADY. Now on to the 2nd~

-Bc as you can see, I’m not that fond of angst. I have a weak heart I guess. I don’t cry that easily but once a fic has struck my heart, I get emotionally unstable for some days lol. SO HENCE, I LOVE THIS HILARIOUS AF FIC. This has got me rolling on my bed and holding my stomach bc of too much laughter xD Otaku KrisHo, awkward KaiSoo and just..HAHAHA THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST CRACK FICS EVER, SO JUST GO AND READ IT. IDC IF YOU’RE IN A BAD MOOD OR NOT, THIS WILL DEF MAKE YOUR MOOD A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER XD. Oh and, kaspian writes sooo many amazing KaiSoo fics. If you’re KaiSoo deprived then just go “here” then indulge yoursleves ^^ (almost everything’s rated so…read at your own risk? lol)

Aaaand the top 1 is….

  1. +“Not Intended” -EXObubz [BaekYeol; romance, comedy]

-BECAUSE FARA (EXObubz) IS ABSOLUTELY LEGENDARY. NI Baek is my favorite Baek amongst all the fanfics I have ever read. Baekhyun’s personality in this fic is just so…LOL. Literally, LOL. He’s funny af, but there are also lots of other qualities abt him that you’re bound to love <3  And his relationship with Chanyeol in this book? OH GAWD WOW, it’s so cute and funny but just…READ IT NOW OMG. IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS THEN YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON LIFE. LOL. READ IT. OKAY? OKAY. And also the other characters in this fic is funny. Just everyone in this fic is hahaha. But what’s amazing is that you can still distinguish one character from the other based on their personalities, despite all of them being funny. So I guess the characters are different kinds of funny? Haha, maybe Kyungsoo is occasionally funny, Sehun is unintentionally funny, Kris is annoyingly funny, just read this and fall in love. Not just with the story, but also with it’s characters :”)


So that was my fanfic recs! Now on to my reply to your tearjerking wonderful message <3


:O


I actually didn’t know how to respond to your message because…wow. I’m staring at my screen while thinking…whut? someone thinks I’m an adorable cutie? wtf? U for real?

Okay I’m sorry it’s just because…I’ve never read such flattering words in my life so I didn’t know how to properly react so hahaha sorry for my crappy reply. Just…THANK YOU SO MUCH OKAY? KNOW THAT I AM EXTREMELY GRATEFUL TO YOU BC OF YOUR KIND WORDS TT___TT

You’re ultimate OTP is BaekYeol/KaiSoo too? YESSSS!! OMG c’mere and let me hug you! (/TwT)/ /sends virtual hug/

Dafuq do you mean I might not want to be your friend? I’d be damned if I ever though of not befriending such a sweetheart like you ; A ; So yes, we’re friends now darling, go ahead and ask me all you want, I will never mind. I love answering questions <3 You actually read my answers? AND YOU EVEN THINK I’M LEVEL HEADED. well I’m not okay, I’m literally flailing around rn GAWD THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU MADE ME TTwTT

PS. Sorry if this was a little delayed, like I mentioned, I accidentally deleted everything I wrote so…just imagine the pain of having to rewrite everything above. Gahh, and there’s school too. So sorry darling, my answer also became a full-blown fanfic rec post.. I hope you’re fine with that XD

Why I've Been Silent: a pretty little liars rant

I’ve known the details of what was to happen in last week’s episode for months now. I know the details of what will happen in the next episode. And the next one. And the next one. I have theories that overlap into S5. From a plot standpoint, they make sense. After watching every episode, they make sense. They are smart and interesting and take into consideration every clue we’ve been given. What they don’t take into consideration is what the writers decided to spew after Free Fall aired. I can’t lie. I didn’t see that coming.

I could write a book that would outweigh Fitz’s true crime novel of all the things that will no longer add up if Ezra isn’t A, but I think it would be a big waste of my time. I hate that the writers ran to the media to plead their case. It was a huge mistake on their part. It didn’t help anyone, and here’s why:

CONFIRMING THAT EZRA ISN’T A SCREWS EVERYBODY OVER.

I really feel sorry for the Ezria shippers right now. The writers think they’re doing them a favor by promising some kind of redemption. To say that Ezra knew who Aria was when they met and that he talked to her for that very reason and that he allowed them to dry hump in the bathroom with the knowledge that she was only 16 and that he would be her teacher the very next day is a low blow to their shippers and to mankind as a whole because shit, that is repellant. To then say you’re looking for a way to make him a hero and find redemption in this story is just disgraceful. It honestly shouldn’t be allowed.

The writers took a risque story that seemed to come from innocent origins and made it a nightmare, only to try their hand at rectifying it and grossing everybody out. I honestly would have been happier if the Ezria shippers got their way. As it is now, we all lose. He isn’t A, but he’s disgusting anyway. For no good reason!

I’ll be honest. My confidence in my theories went down the drain after reading the writer’s responses to everything. I don’t want to run a blog where I have theories that completely negate what the people running the show have to say. It’s not worth my time to go out on a limb like that, with such a big risk of being wrong. I’ve always tried to consider information from all sides while trying to figure things out. If there was ever any reason why my theory didn’t make sense and I couldn’t talk my way around it, I’d drop it. I’m trying to dissect the show as a mystery. I’m not as interested in my original guess being right as I am following the clues to their obvious conclusion. I just want everything to make sense. If what the writers are saying is true, then the show has stopped making sense and I can’t continue running this blog.

In an interview, when asked if while Ezra has been watching these girls, he’s witnessed A’s evil antics and just turned the other cheek, Oliver Goldstick said, “No, no, no, no. I wouldn’t say that […] We never wanted to commit to him knowing that the girls had been being tormented like that, because that would’ve been cruel.” Exclusively, but without a big spoiler (but look away now if you don’t want to know anything), this is a piece of the script from Cover for Me (4.22):

Keep reading