How do I even begin to explain @aqua-harry (aliases: Sarah, Laurence, Bitch)?
“Aqua-Harry is sassy.”
“She has four Fifty Things Harry Does lists and a masterlist they can be found on.”*
“I hear she’s kinda into him.”
“I hear she speaks German (but she’s only ever told @permanentcross to shut up in it, so…).”
“Her favorite movie is Rockstar, because that’s when she saw boobies on TV for the first time.”
(Speaking of boobies….)
“One time she met Harry Styles on a plane, and he told her she was pretty.”**
“One time, she dragged me for saying whatever hair made Harry happy made me happy… it was awesome.”***
Welcome to the quarter of a century club. Please wire money. It’s… uh, it’s for dues.
What? Don’t send money to people on the internet? Says who?
Happiest of birthdays, Sarah. I feel so lucky to have come to know you throughout this past year – first through your warm and cozy anons, and later through frequent spamming of each other in our IMs and texts. You are kind, critical, and fair, and I think we both know how rare that is and that they’re special traits to have in friends. You’re one of my absolute favorite people here, and I’m happy to have your support and to give mine in return. Thank you for your sass, for which I’m always appreciative, and for your friendship. Most importantly, thank you for the memes, and for all the photos and videos of Atticus the Catticus and the goats, including my pal Manny.
(Please send more, they will suffice as club dues.)
May we always sip the fresh-brewed tea together and not the powdered drink mix tea that tastes similar but isn’t real.
Goldie (aliases: E, Whore)
*Llink in the bio – don’t ask her for it on her birthday, please. I’ll get blamed for it.
**She didn’t… yet.
***Permanentcross was lying. Just cause you look good with every haircut, Harry, doesn’t mean you should let the people (me) suffer.