also my head is the shape of a nicely rounded potato

anonymous asked:

Single dads Eren and Jean flirting with Kindergarten teacher Maroc~ Eren and Jean competing for his attention but their kids getting it all instead xD

“C'mon, c'mon dad! We’re gonna be late!” Balancing the tray stacked with brownies would have been much easier had his other hand not been occupied by an excited five year old, tugging him along the sidewalk, but Jean somehow managed. This wasn’t his first day wrestling the little bundle of energy after all and short child legs could only scurry this quickly.
They reached the gate without a catastrophe in form of baked goods crumbling to the ground and the boy jumping in front of him let out a joyful shriek as he took in the festively decorated backyard of his kindergarten.

There were several big, colorful tents already bustling with life, tables to draw and craft at scattered all over, a big barbeque station in the back and other, smaller food booths all around.
Everything was decorated with balloons in all shapes and sizes, fluttery paper bands with cute slogans painted on and photos stuck everywhere they would hold. St. Sina’s Kindergarten sure knew how to throw a nice summer fete.

Before his son could tug him much further onto the yard there was a soft tenor calling out for them and Jean turned to see one of the teachers, Mr. Bodt, heading their way.
His heart wasn’t doing that silly fluttery thing, it wasn’t.
“Oh, Mr. Kirschtein! I’m glad you could make it.” That smile was dazzling, as always, the sunlight catching in his dark, round eyes and making his hair shimmer like the richest chocolate. Okay, maybe a little bit of fluttering, if Jean was being honest.
“Yeah … yeah, I finished most of my paperwork last night, so…” Mr. Bodt nodded, smile still bright, before he crouched down in front of the boy still clutching Jean’s hand.

“My, Luke … what a nice skirt you’re wearing! It’s new, isn’t it?” He reached out to carefully tug at the hemline with the white cotton trim, making the boy beam with pride and run a small hand over the blue and purple fabric.
“I told dad how you said we could wear whatever we wanted … and he got it for me … and I…” Luke bit his lip as he cast his gaze down, a little shy all of a sudden, and squeezed Jean’s hand.
“It’s okay, go on…”, the teacher’s voice was soft and encouraging as he tipped his head to the side, still smiling. Luke still needed a little nudge from his father and a warm “Yeah buddy, tell Marco.” before he looked up again.
“I feel … really pretty”, the boy giggled, rubbing a hand across his flushed face as he grinned at his teacher.
“And you look really pretty, too!”, Mr. Bodt exclaimed, all enthusiasm and kind honesty as he regarded his charge one last time before getting up again and turning his attention back to Jean. Those big eyes would be the death of him someday.

“We uh…”, Jean began awkwardly, still struggling a little to keep the tray upright, “we brought brownies?”
“I helped!”, Luke cried immediately, bouncing on his toes. “I stirred the batter and put it on the tray! And dad let me put the flour in … but not the chocolate cause it was too hot…” Mr. Bodt’s eyebrows shot up at that and, gaze flicked between father and son and the tray stacked with treats a few times.
“Oh? Those look great, I didn’t know you…”
“Could bake?”, Jean finished with a lame chuckle. “Yeah I’m actually, uh … pretty good at it? Cooking not so much, but…”

“His cooking is awful!”, the boy next to him fake gagged, clasping a hand over his mouth and making Mr. Bodt laugh.
“Well, it’s a good thing you eat lunch here most of the time then, right?” The teacher sounded amused, eyes twinkling with laughter as he looked at the child, then back at Jean.
“Uh, anway … my brownies are great, you have to try them. And I also make mean crêpe, maybe you should…”
Before Jean could finish the lame pickup line of Mr. Bodt having to come around sometime to try them his son gave a piercing shriek and let go off his hand to run off back to the gate where a father had just arrived with his daughter.

“Carla!”, he cried out, wrapping the little girl in a clumsy but enthusiastic hug that was returned with just as much energy as they bounced up and down a few times. Mr. Bodt laughed at the sight, a sound so honest and clear that Jean had to take a deep breath.
“It’s like they haven’t seen each other for ages instead of just a day.”
Jean hummed and swallowed down the disappointment and anger rising up in his throat.
That Jäger guy did always have the worst timing. But there was no use in whining and self-pity, the afternoon was still young, he’d get another chance to talk to Mr. cutest teacher alive and maybe not make an ass of himself this time.

Leaving the kids to their excessive greeting Jäger strolled over with a wide grin, holding a large bowl out in front of him.
“I brought potato salad!”, he proclaimed victoriously and Jean was confused for a second before he heard Mr. Bodt’s almost pornographic moan and couldn’t help the deep flush creeping up his neck.
“The one you made last year?”, the teacher asked with way too much enthusiasm to his voice and took a step forward to peek under the lid Jäger lifted for him. “Oh, that smells heavenly, I might just jump in there and never come out again…”
Both men laughed and Jean felt something sting in his chest, anger again as well as something else, something more vicious.
“Please, feel free too”, Jäger snickered, eyes drifting over to Jean for a moment as he flashed a sharp grin.

This had been going on for at least a few months, both of them being crazy attracted to sweet Mr. Bodt, both trying to somehow make a move but always failing thanks to the other or one of their kids – who were getting along incredibly well, by the way.
Just now they came running again, hand in hand as they almost barreled into their teacher, screaming something totally unintelligible. At least it ripped Mr. Bodt’s attention away from Jäger and that damn potato salad.

“Hey, hey, calm down you two!”, Mr Bodt laughed and crouched down again, laying his hands on either of their shoulders. “What did you say?”
“Look, look Marco!”
“We match, Marco!”, Carla cried out, tugging at her purple and blue shirt and pointing at Luke’s skirt with the same colors.
“Ohh, you’re right!”, Marco smiled and looked at their respective outfits. “You both look very nice!”
“Earlier he said I look pretty, Carla!” Luke was flushing a little again as he told his friend about the compliment and she giggled.
“You do, silly!” Then she turned back to her teacher. “We need to show you something, Marco!” They both took one of his hands and tried to tug him along, almost tipping him off balance as he struggled to his feet again. Two kids with that much energy were harder to handle but he had even more practice.

“Okay, just give me a second, yes?” With that he turned back to Jean and the man standing behind him.  “I assigned you both to the salad bar, if that’s alright? Just over there … your shift starts at two and then an hour? Of course you can stay and enjoy the party with us afterwards…”
“Second’s over!”, Carla insisted and the kids began tugging again, this time Mr. Bodt went with them willingly, only shouting over his shoulder that Jean could give his brownies to Petra Ral if he saw her around.

Hearing Jäger clear his throat he turned back to him, looking at that raised eyebrow and borderline smug expression.
“One hour, eh?”
“Ugh, shut up…”
It would be one very long hour. But to get the chance to talk to Mr. Bodt again today, Jean could tolerate one shift at the salad bar with Eren Jäger. Even just barely.

Common Physical Traits of The Signs to Look Out For
  • (based on PERSONAL experience so chill x - will include who I know that's each sign x).
  • Aries: Square/rectangular/broad bodies, average height and weight, confidence, great smiles, flat noses, darker skin, shiny hair that's usually short, not very light on feet/move awkwardly, flat chestedd, nails on fleek tho. (This one nerdy perfectionist chick from my old school, aunt).
  • Taurus: Often chubby, big eyes with long lashes, curly hair or hair that stands out n a crowd, clear complexions, small mouths, heart-shaped heads, obviously insecure but still generally happy looking. (This one chick who was fab and loved astrology too but had the voice of a chainsaw in a meat grinder like leave please).
  • Gemini: Sharp/pointy/little noses, weird necks, long hair, splotchy skin, blushes a lot, generally pretty, but thinks they're prettier than they are, dull eyes, nice teeth, either athletic/slim af or chubby af, short, you will always feel like they're better than you, look intelligent even when they're not, walks around like a toddler when in a mood, otherwise moves around quietly/carefully/gracefully.(frickin sister-in-law).
  • Cancer: Thick af eyebrows, big noses, full/pouty lips, annoying laughter that sounds like crying, long necks, weird/broad shoulders, super facial expressions; they can talk to you just by looking at you, mouths are never still, awkward arms and hands, bad skin, huge smiles, big/bright/expressive eyes with heavy lids, constantly fluctuating weights, disappointing thighs, always the perfect height for you, soft yet nappy hair. (My big sister, this one guy, ME, my nonna, my gandpa, ChRiS pRattt).
  • Leo: Great hair; always an interesting color, average to tall heights, dull or just small facial features, up-turned noses, energetic/expressive eyes, great smiles, average weights/usually athletic, really small ears, washed out skin, undefined chin, super confident, white af teeth, their bodies are mainstream fitness goals, small af lips but the smirks they do make up for it. (A friend/squad member, my first ex, this one guy, this little kid, that little kids mom, my dog. Yea, I know my fcukin Leos).
  • Virgo: Short, boxy eyebrows, still cuter than u, defined af jawline, ability to spontaneously grown goat-tee, pointy head, really stand out in a crowd, hair always wavy, big flat noses, eyelashes on fleek, can be really slender or just plain boxy, full/pouty lips, af, they look lost/worried/naive - but they still look happier and more approachable than you probably. (My big brother, this one kid at school with neckflaps and runs like mario, my friend/squad member, my moon sign).
  • Libra: Looks salty, intimidating af, resting bitch-face, short, thinnn but still got a layer of baby-fat, cute cheeks, eyebrows on FLEEK, weird shriveled up mouths, photogenic af, really big fish eyes, will steal your boyfriend, fuckin amazing hair, actual not confident at all, tries to look innocent, you feel like they're always better than you (they probably are) , really good at make up, uummm UR hAIRY *cries* (this one bitch adsfkdfkdfl,also my rising sign).
  • Scorpio: Long/straight/shiny hair, usually pale skin, tiny heads, either short or skinny, low-key Regina George, prettier than everyone else but gets over looked, weird chins, short limbs, weird af noses like what why is it so small (lele that's what she said), will remind you of a sword-fish at times, did I mention shortttt? (Cousins, Girl-crush/bff).
  • Sagittarius: Smirky, squinty, fashion gOALS, undefined bodies like where are u, cuter than U, round faces, no eyebrows but lol who still has those it's 2015 loser, weird/no necks, fists that look ready to knock u tf out, have their guard up, looks good with lipstick/bright colors, you either try to hard or are too nonchalant, authority figures, you just kinda wanna go give em a high five. (Aunt,friend/squad member, my other dog [yes she no eyebrows]).
  • Capricorn: -PAUSE- y'all know that feeling just after u eat a truck load of TACOBELL and it feels like ur stomach made a 360 and you can practically feel lava dripping from your butthole, down your thighs? Yeah. That's how Caps make me feel - THEY WILL MAKE YOU NERVOUS AF. They are usually better than you even when they suck. Usually curly or wavy hair. Just general great hair. like wow. Kind/innocent/expressive eyes, Sporty AF, average to tall heights, great arms, biceps for days, thick necks, weird eyebrows, babyface/babymouth? Washed out skin, kinda potato (dumb), stocky, usually have abs, big/pug noses, nice profile, big hands, you just feel like curling up to them and talking for hours but if you have a crush on one ur first instinct will be to run FAR away before you look stupid. (my ex who I hate, this guy I liked who liked me and we dated but not officially just made out etc and then we both moved, my crush who is the biggest crush I've ever had, my favourite kickboxer who is also hot af. yea, clearly I have a type).
  • Aquarius: Big/soft/sad eyes, thick hair, freckles or moles, huggable, either really short or really tall, chubby, boxy eyebrows, skin tans easily, nice lips, cute cheeks, stronger than they look (physically nooot mentally), calm af, understanding faces, even when they're old they're nice to look at, not intimidating, how they feel inside will always affect how they look outside. (My mom, my mom's cat, Favourite singer, my first girl crush whose now a bitch).
  • Pisces: TALL AF. Usually waaaay dark, babyface, instant-beard powers, strong af, reminds you of obama, you just wanna shake their hand, sleepy af eyes, grinds teeth when angry, bad posture, always looks up when thinking, judgmental, premature gray hair, generally just a lot of hair, except on the head u bald bye. (my dad... papa if ur reading this hi im just kidding teehee).