also me when ppl tell me to chill

ya’ll really gonna tell me that blarke is canon after clarke consistently manipulates bellamy, chloroforms/DRUGS him, KIDNAPS him so that he couldn’t object to HER fucked up decision, breaks his trust, and not to mention…. she’s also gonna point gun at him when he tries to leave???? really??? that’s not “love.” that’s toxic.

anonymous asked:

when i have Bad Brain Time or a breakdown there are always ppl who are like "no that's not true you're not a horrible person ily" and i know they want to help but??? I just go "oh god i've manipulated them into thinking i'm a good person i'm the worst human being ever how have i lied to them so much that they think i'm a good person????" and it just makes everything worse. but also if nobody tells me anything it just confirms everyone hates me and no one cares. @ brain: can you chill maybe -Ivy

i do the same thing!! it’s why when i’m feeling my worst i isolate and don’t really communicate it to anyone than vague tumblr posts and tweets lmao. 

the brain is so fickle and manipulative.. it wants you to believe that you’re awful no matter what. literally anyone could say or do anything - or do nothing - and somehow the brain would figure out a way to make those actions, or lack of actions, into the thoughts that you mentioned: “i’m awful and everyone hates me.” it’s terrible!!!!!!!!!!! there’s no logic and yet the thoughts feel so real and are so overwhelming

i guess the ultimate goal is to get to a place of self-love, or at least self-like?? in the meantime i just use distractions To The Max because if i don’t force myself to focus on other things my brain will just be a broken record of ‘you’re awful everyone hates you’ x1000000

anyway it sucks so much you’re dealing with this too, it’s one of the most annoying Bad Brain things. one of the main things in dealing with breakdowns and Bad Times™ is to get support from loved ones and the brain is like ‘hell nope i’m gonna take that away from you too!!’ it’s just ridiculous and terrible and i hope those thoughts don’t plague u forever