also look at my college on my shirt


[a/n]: helllloooo!! decided i’d get one more thing out before classes start tomorrow :( i probably won’t post anything else until next weekend, but i’ll work on some writings do they’ll be ready to go by friday! if u have any requests send them my way (also any feedback would b nice) and i hope u like it!!!

pairing: min yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, college!au, frat boy!yoongi

word count: 367

summary: yoongi wakes up to you wearing his shirt and he just noticed how much he liked it. (and you)

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So I saw one of my favorite former students this morning. At the hospital for my exam, she was the receptionist helping me fill out my paperwork. She asked if we knew each other. So I looked at her and then at the name ‘Kristi’ on her shirt, and I remembered exactly who she was and why she was one of my favorite students. Kristi and her friend Andrea had one of my English courses at the community college around 5-6 years ago. Nice pair of gals, around my age (late 20s at the time) and smart and outgoing. 

What was remarkable about Kristi and Andrea, though, was how they basically adopted one of the other girls in the class. There was a younger girl in the class, whose name was also Kristi, who was fresh out of high school. Kristi the Younger was a very bright young woman, but small and highly introverted. What was so amazing was how Kristi the Elder and Andrea immediately became pals with Younger Kristi and on the second day of class started sitting on either side of her. I wish my memory was good enough to give examples of specific incidents, but it was really kind of an over-the-semester progression. They’d ask Young Kristi for feedback and opinions on things. They’d prompt her during group discussions, and even got her to speak up during class discussions. And frequently they’d comment on how smart she was. It was kind of impressive just how much more confidence Kristi the Younger was showing by the end of the semester, both in her writing and in her interactions during class. (I remember getting the impression that the three of them hung out outside of class a bit too. Which was cool as well.) Though I haven’t taught in a few years now, I always placed a great deal of value on my older, non-traditional students and the ways that they can influence and even mentor the younger students—often without even realizing that’s what they’re doing. 


So, I ended up going on the trip to Florida with my SD after all.

Overall it was a fantastic weekend. We stayed in a gorgeous Hilton Hotel right on the beach. I got my first ever spa treatments (a Swedish massage and deep sea full body scrub can work wonders). We also did a little shopping. I didn’t get much though. Mostly because the mall in town was pretty shitty and my SD hates shopping. But I picked him out some t-shirts from Hollister because he likes to feel young 😁, lol.

I received so many hateful stares from older women and some looks of amazement from some older men. Pretty amusing to say the least. It was a much needed escape from my reality. Coming back to college made me feel so sad. I miss being pampered 😔. But next semester’s tuition is paid so that’s all that matters.

He also mentioned planning another trip sometime. This time Costa Rica was an option, but I don’t have a passport so that was out. But I planning on getting one very soon. I gotta be prepared for these things!

I’d actually love to travel with him. We get along really well for the most part and he has a great personality. I finally feel like a real sugar baby. I’m only going up from here! Just be patient ladies, the right SD for you will come. Just keep shining. You’re a star ✨.

Dear Polished Stranger (From a Happy Working Mommy)

Dear Very Polished Stranger,

Let me tell you a secret … I am well aware that that my toddler is currently trying to drive a toy dump trunk into my cleavage while announcing, “Oh no! Truck stuck!” 

You are right, though, that I didn’t notice the 2 pens in my hair … yes, or that binder clip the toddler found in my shirt. I’m sure there was a reason it was in there. I had copy-edits this week … and am drafting … and had teleconferences with Hollywood … also a toddler, a teen, and a kid in college. It’s been a chaotic week, and I think it’s only Wednesday.  Honestly, though, we should be grateful that I’ve remembered to wear a shirt in the first place. I’m a little sleepy. 

I will admit that juggling work & kids hasn’t made me look particularly model-like. (Neither did the years pre-kids & career when I partied, incidentally. The black circles under my eyes aren’t actually NEW.) You know what my kids & work HAVE made me? HAPPY even when I’m as tired as I look.

Yep. I’m kinda old to have such a wee mammal, but no, I’m NOT his grandmother.  That teenager currently making faces at my toddler isn’t a teen dad. They’re both my kids. There’s a 3rd one at university (graduating after only 3 years with HIGHEST honours, btw.)

Yep. I can see why you think it’s a “little weird” to have a 21 year old, a teen, and toddler.  I was pretty close to my daughter’s age when I started this mom gig. 

No, it wasn’t an “oops.”  Motherhood has been on purpose every damn time, too. I FOUGHT for these kids. I don’t have a body that grows babies well. Only one of the 3 grew in my body, so when I say it was a choice, I mean it was a difficult, expensive, and utterly exhausting fight to have all 3 of these kids in my life.  I spent over $60k in legal fees for one of them. The hospital bills for one were in excess of $200k, and I didn’t know until afterwards if the insurance would cover it. Let’s not even start on the future tuition bills (do you know how expensive college is these days?), or the past clothes, lessons, and etc.  Then there’s weird things. Teen is getting a pilot’s license. Daughter needed to move to Guatemala (among other places) for a few months for school.

 It’s all my money though, and that’s what I choose to spend it on: being a mom. If it were your money, you could comment.  It’s not.  

Some people like designer clothes or shiny rocks on their fingers and ears… or cars … or who knows.  I don’t get some (most) of that, but I don’t care what they do with their lives and money bc it’s none of my business.  Me? I work to afford being a mom and to take trips. That’s my choice.

Some people hit an age where they stop wanting babies. I hear it will happen to me too, but … lately I’ve been thinking that maybe I’ll start fostering or adopting teens in a few years. That’s my current loose plan for the next adventure. I like being a mom.  I like working too. I’m doing fairly decent at both so far.  The eldest had scholarship for uni, and multiple fellowships for graduate school. The middle one is excelling in school and socially. The wee one overcame medical challenges. They’re all happy and want for absolutely nothing.  

While we’re chatting, I want to politely point out that if you suggest again that my rather intense toddler is “lucky” I adopted him, I may have to smack you. I’m trying not to resort to violence or cussing because it would set a a bad example.  Being a mom makes me a better person.  It might be a fair note to say that you’re lucky I adopted him. Without him here in my arms, I would be demonstrating my skills with words that aren’t toddler-safe. I do get what you meant, but he’s no luckier than my other two kids. It’s hurtful to say that. I didn’t “rescue” any of them. It’s not a social service to be a mama. It’s my calling in life. I’m the lucky one

I don’t judge you for your lack of kids. I promise you.  I’d rather people who don’t want to be parents opt out. It’s better for you and potential kids. It’s a respectable choice. It’s perfectly cool not to want this. I even understand why it seems odd to want it somedays, but I’d like you to think about your attitude toward those of us who DO want it. I’d like you to think about why you see no issue with YOUR choice, but think it’s okay to judge mine. 

Here’s the deal: finger paint is messy. Motherhood, in general, is messy. Writing is oddly messy. All of it is a bit exhausting when combined. It’s also exceedingly fun–and it hurts no one.  

And if I’m okay with my choices and can afford them, why does it even matter to you? I’ll take the babies. You take the baubles. We’re both happier with this plan, and at the end, that’s what we ALL deserve in this world: happiness.


Happy Working Mom

PS I clean up pretty well, so feel free to come to one of my book events where I usually wear the clothes I don’t wear around the toddler. I’ll even cover some of the black circles under my eyes. Umm, no promises on the pens in my hair though. 


Lucky number 13.

I will spare you the details about my trip to London, how it involved a lot of 13’s (including my birthday 13/10)  and go straight into my experience about hearing, meeting and briefly talking to Mr. Spader.

As I sat two seats away from the actor behind Raymond “Red” Reddington, staring intensely at the person with black rimmed glasses, I found myself trying to decipher, every eccentricity, nuance, micro expression and body language for over an hour. It felt like observing a specimen without a magnifying glass. He vaguely reminded me of a college professor I once had: the open white shirt, a vast amount of visible shiny dark blonde chest hair pointing north, flawless tanned skin, comfortable half buttoned sweater underneath a brown sports jacket to weather the storm. He also had a watch like what my grandpa used to wear, wrapped around a slender wrist, paired off with burgundy red trousers, and shiny brown shoes. Despite my best efforts to look beneath the hood, I wasn’t able to. You won’t figure him out, no matter how hard you try.

I think even if you have a one on one with him – he will still be a mystery at the end of the conversation. With every answer given, I was stumped and delighted by his lengthy pauses and avoidance of eye contact with the crowd unless you asked the specific question. Was he remembering his previous answer to a similar posed question? Trying to pair it off with new thought/insight? Or was he merely thinking about the best way to skate around the topic long enough so his mind could conjure a proper/appropriate response? While apologizing for his “compulsive tendencies and not being able to answer absolutes”, he kept answering question after question, being generous enough with an extra 30 min of his time, despite the interviewer constant need to glance down at his watch and reminding James of the ticking clock. He decided to stay & I believe would have continued on had his son not been waiting for him at dinnertime.

He was as enigmatic as his counterpart, but that is where the similarities stop, safe for a few quirks & majestic way of speaking with arms, hands and legs (being an entertaining Luddite). This man showed his sensitivity. His heart shined through moistened eyes when spoken of fond memories ‘involving long lunches’ during movie breaks, lovely people he immerses himself with in his private/professional life and a true gentleman not afraid to be ‘this side’ of him, At All. He just doesn’t care about public image as he expressed during the interview. Honestly, for one who does not cater to the word ‘celebrity’ as it has been foreign to me for a long time, nor ‘obsess’ with meeting some fantasy in real life, baring in mind that most I did, were disappointing to say the least, this was quite different. I would not treat the queen any differently than my neighbor. Okay that is not entirely true, because I don’t care for the man next door, but I had no expectations about Spader as a person coming in, other than what I had seen & heard from other people. Somehow he still managed to exceed all that.

He is different and wears it like a second skin.

James Spader came over as someone on another level of humanity: kind, sincere, humble but confident, lover of life and love, funny, quirky and fond of everything that is condemned ‘unusual’. Basically a very gentle man with a very odd job, except that is not all there is to him, and no matter how close you get, he won’t show you the back of his tongue, and you will not get to know him like this. Nevertheless, you get a piece of the puzzle, and your mind just fills in the blanks for you. 

For me, the episode (6) screening and Q & A session were part of the experience of going to London & hanging out with new friends who share a love for shipping, and the show. I was not star-struck like the lovely lady next to me who was shivering like a leaf when he walked by in his signature fedora, trench coat & purple scarf. I didn’t feel the need to jump him or run away due to nerves (Bless your heart Ms. H, I had a few chuckles at your expense, thank god so did you.). My heart did not speed up when he talked on stage or met my eye in passing. My legs still worked properly after it all ended, despite an overblown bladder, and made a conscious decision to walk over to him while he lit his cigarette to unwind and briefly conversed with another (lizzington shipper) fan (despite his managers/assistant earlier protest in the auditorium about the tight schedule) My hand did not tremble when I lay it upon his shoulder to get his attention and waited in patience for acknowledgement. There were no magic or unicorns flying, despite the rainbow I saw on my way over to London – instead, I felt at ease. He truly had a positive, relaxed energy around him, a fact that surprised me given that he is not very keen on public speaking, and quite often is seen during a cigarette break.

However, when he turned around and I saw his greying stubble underneath his chin, caught a whiff of his clean scent, I finally got the chance to exchange words with him. I told him about the amount of miles I had travelled to hear him talk, and that it was well worth it; a smile and a polite “thank you” was given in proper response. I unconsciously noted that he was a little shorter than ‘expected’ though. The words tumbled out of my mouth without filter, shame or second thought and a giggle erupted from his whilst piercing green eyes bore into mine, our fedora rims in closer proximity than first: “Well I am only 5’10” his deep voice jovially declared, I smiled back: “I am only 5’3” after all the booted heels were my way of cheating (short people problems).

In That Moment and before his ‘manager’ almost dragged him away, while I was informing him about a lovely friend of mine from Amsterdam who could not make it, despite desire & absent of choice and extended greetings, he apologised to her and said that “he would feel guilty” if he didn’t sign my comic (regardless of the no signing/fan-time policy) after all, I came from far. My eyes lit up & a stupid grin spread over my face when the scribbled signature appeared on paper. 

In a span of no more than XX seconds, I saw what made him so swoon worthy to millions of women, something I was struggling to wrap my head around at first: I was utterly charmed by a handsome, witty, middle aged nobleman with an adorable paunch.

He is James ‘Todd’ Spader and the man is not legend or king, but he is one upstanding human being. To me, that is worth more than any title you could want to ‘label’ him with. In short: he is a very, very attractive man. I had my fan girl moment; feeling like a teen with a crush, despite being a grown woman, Interesting to say the least.  I guess it is the ‘Spader’ effect.

I don’t know what I would consider the highlight of my trip: meeting new friends, seeing James, exploring a city I love, the delightful food & wine we had afterwards or even the hotel company that made my night & my laughter lines deeper till 3 a.m. before I turned into a pumpkin again – I guess it was a combination of it all.

During the duration of my stay I saw my bank account slowly declining, getting closer to 0 with each passing moment, and it couldn’t have made me happier. Another memory locked in a vault, another experience richer.

Life can be delightfully simple sometimes and I would love to do it all over.

A special thanks to Harriet for making me her plus one & Mary/James for the delightful company. You were a lovely bunch of people & hope will meet again.

For a small part of the interview/pictures and more story go to: 

So I went to the “Rainbow Reception” that the LGBTQA program at my college was hosting and I walked in and the theme was superheroes.  Superheroes. At the Rainbow Reception. Gay superheroes.  And I looked down at my Flash sweatshirt over my #LoveWins T-shirt and me and my encyclopaedic knowledge of queer superheroes just went like