I just want to sleep. I have read the same 16 page document three times and retained no information and made no meaningful edits.
It takes all my energy in the afternoon to do pick up, make dinner, play, baths, books, and bed. I’m exhausted, but stay up well into the morning hours.
I think about foster care. I think about the what ifs. I think about parenting and opportunities for the kids. I think about where we live- the two year lease now has 17 months left, which in foster care speak isn’t that long. The owner is a nutcase with a suspected drug problem, so not an idea situation, but the neighborhood is good and the schools are navigable. If adoption happens, will we move to the Midwest, back to family but also lily whiteness and an insufferable lack of diversity? Or do I take an international position and struggle with balancing an intense career track and motherhood? I think about the relationship the kids need to have with their biological family and worry about the effect of that on the kids. I wonder how I fill the void of an unknown father. I wonder if things go differently than I hope, how I prepare the kids.
Okay but can we talk ‘bout how McGonagall not only made special how arrangements for harry to be seeker & have a broomstick (lbr she didn’t ask Dumbledore she told him and he shrugged and was like ur my fav do what you want) but then she did exactly what she wanted which was to drop a small fricking fortune to buy harry THE COOLEST BESTEST FASTEST BROOMSTICK available