ALRIGHT MY DUDES I’M NOT GONNA BORE YOU WITH THE RABBIT HOLE I WENT DOWN TO FIND THIS BUT JUST LOOK AT IRL KEITH
His name is Ernie Reyes Jr. but he played a character named Keno (KENO?? KEITH?? COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT) in the 1991 movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (again, don’t ask how I got here)
He’s a pizza delivery boy that gets caught up in turtle shenanigans and literally only exists for one movie but please just look at him.
The black t-shirt, the bright red jacket, tHE MULLET. Did I also mention he’s Filipino because I could go for some Filipino!Keith headcanons like sign me the fuck up
AND WHAT’S THIS??? Have you always wanted to know what Keith would look like reacting to meeting cryptids irl well HERE YOU FUCKING GO. THROWBACK TO THE OG CRYPTIDS OF MY CHILDHOOD: GIANT RATMAN AND HIS GREEN DISCIPLES
Here’s him ready to fight a bitch in a tank top because he loves fisticuffs and is a hella good martial artist. Within the first like four minutes of the movie, he sees these dudes robbing a store and goes up to them ALONE telling them “you’re under arrest” HOLDING A BUNCH OF PIZZAS and attempts to take all of them out alone. I mean he beats the shit out of them but like then a bunch more guys come running out and then he’s like oH SHIT I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH but luckily the turtles come to save his ass.
Did I also mention that out of all the turtles he is most similar to Raphael? The red turtle. The most impatient and impulsive turtle. Always ready to fight. PLEASE. Also Raphael doesn’t really like him at first but then Keno suggests he use himself as bait to find the baddies and suddenly Raphael is like “I hate to agree with him but he’s gotta point.” So even though Splinter is like “TOO DANGEROUS” the two of them break off from the rest of the team and do the mission anyways (um) and accidentally find The Big Bad™ (uM) and then get into hot shit (UM) and Raphael sacrifices himself for Keno (UMMMMMMMMMM). But don’t worry Keno brings everyone back to save him.
And then later there’s a scene where Splinter tries to teach him how to meditate but Keno physically can’t do it and runs off to fight instead because fuck patience he needs to kick something. Here’s this idiot literally back flipping onto the stage to fight Shredder one-on-one like wtf he’s so extra™
He also had an action figure even though he was only in one movie and HOLY SHIT THIS IS MORE KEITH LIKE THAN THE KEITH ACTION FIGURE????
In conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK WAS KEITH DOING WITH THE NINJA TURTLES IN 1991?? IDK BUT I FOUND HIM
i say this every time, but seriously… read @tyranttortoise‘s Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady. this latest chapter is one of only innumerable reasons why it is forever in my top favorite fics, period.
… and talk about seeing fireworks with a kiss. <333 honestly red is my eternal weakness, and i’m not even mad about it.
I was throwing shipping prompts at another author for fic ideas and I accidentally gave myself a ship (It's not really a ship, it's more like a dingy heading for a waterfall). Consider this: Shikamaru and Minato. After the 4th Shinobi War or with time travel involved, but still. Look at it.
So apparently I like this idea a lot oh my god.
This is all massively troublesome, damn it, and Shikamaru only has himself to
Somehow, it was a hell of a lot
easier to disregard what flee on sight
orders mean in the rush that came beforehand, in the uneasy alliance with a
man who should have been dead several dozen times over by now. In seeing the
lines in Sasuke’s face from too many sleepless nights, the way Sakura was
activating her Strength of a Hundred Seal, the impossible determination in the
slant of Naruto’s mouth and the fire in his eyes as he said this last attempt was too close, Shika. We’re
going to send you somewhere you won’t be in danger. Just keep your head down
and you’ll be fine.
Right. Head down. Fine. Which would
have been a hell of a lot easier if he hadn’t landed smack dab in the middle of
an alternate universe’s battlefield, practically on top of the Hokage.
Not his Hokage, because that would be too easy. And also not Hokage yet, so when Shikamaru had dragged
himself off the ground and blurted, “Yondaime-sama!” in front of a squad of Iwa
nin, it was close enough to spilling an S-rank secret that the Yondaime had
The Iwa-nin are dead. Shikamaru got
“Sorry,” Minato says almost
bashfully, leaning over him to check the knots tying his hands. “Is that too
tight? Can you feel your fingers?”
“I’d feel them better if you untied me,” Shikamaru complains, and
wonders where the hell Sai landed. It’s the ANBU commander’s job to keep him
safe, and he could really use some backup right now. And gods, if Shikamaru is
counting on Sai to get him out of
this mess, things have really gone south.
Minato smiles like it’s a joke,
checks Shikamaru’s feet, and drops back into his seat across the small
campfire. “We’ll be back in Konoha in a few days,” he says, like it’s any sort
of consolation. “If you really don’t mean any harm, T & I will let you go
in a day or two after that. You’ll be all right. All we want to know is how you
got that information in the first place. Only the Sandaime, the Daimyo, and I are
supposed to know.”
Being targeted to having
information that other people want is becoming something of a pattern, Shikamaru
thinks, faintly despairing. That’s what got him into this whole mess in the
first place, and if he’d realized how troublesome it would be, he’d have left
that damned scroll where he found it.
With a groan, he flops back to
lie on the grass, staring balefully up at the stars, and it’s hardly comfortable
with his hands tied behind him, but there aren’t really a lot of other options.
He could definitely get out of the ropes if he tried, could probably get past Minato
if he had the element of surprise on his side, but there’s no way he’d be able
to escape the Yellow Flash without help. More help than Sai, at least. They’re both
some of the best, but the Yellow Flash is better.
“I hate my life,” Shikamaru tells
There’s a quiet chuckle, and
then Minato leans over him again, blue eyes warm in the shifting firelight. He dangles
a ration bar over Shikamaru’s face, swinging it lightly, and says, “It might
look better after a meal?”
Shikamaru sighs, but Minato has
a point. He’s pretty useless right now, but if he can get the chance—
Well. For now being here is
definitely safer than being in his Konoha, what with a band of very dedicated
priests trying to kill him and retrieve the scroll that bonded itself to him.
…Shikamaru hates that that is a
reasonable sentence that he can say and understand. It’s all Naruto’s fault
somehow, he’s sure of it.
“Thanks,” he says, not quite
grudgingly, and starts to pull himself up—
Long, callused fingers press a
chunk of mealy protein against his lips, and Shikamaru is so startled his mouth
opens automatically. Minato gives him a cheerful smile, settling next to him,
and damn it, but Shikamaru’s always lowkey thought of him as gorgeous, but that
was before he knew his hands smelled like honing oil and a trace of mint.
“Sorry,” Minato tells him
sincerely. “I can’t risk untying you right now, but I can still feed you. No need
to be rude about it, right?”
Shikamaru doesn’t quite swallow
his tongue along with the ration bar, but it’s a near thing. And—maybe he’s
spent too long around Choji, who takes food very
seriously, but feeding another person is not
what you do unless you mean it.
Oh no, Shikamaru thinks, staring at the man who killed twelve shinobi
in the space of a few seconds, who had him tied up and pinned to the ground
before he could even summon his shadows. Who’s sitting close now, their
shoulders practically brushing.
Shikamaru isn’t exactly a
stranger to sexual attraction—he’s been dealing with both Ino and Sai for years now, and their ongoing, insistent
attempts to wrangle him into another threesome—but this…
This is goddamn troublesome, and Shikamaru objects wholeheartedly.
Good news- the small child was perfectly enchanted by her mermaid surprise unlike the first mermaid party I did where the birthday girl wanted to be as FAR AWAY FROM THE MERMAID AS POSSIBLE
they wheeled me out on a desk chair which was pretty hilarious but actually worked a lot better than a Throne of Dads
and then omfg to get me in the pool
they put me in one of those disability chairs that you sit in and it sloooooowly lowers you into the pool
so I just sat in it, princess-waving for a full 5 minutes while I’m majestically lowered into the water. hilarious
Unlike the last party I actually was SWIMMING the whole time! They plopped me right into the deep end and I paddled around with the kids (who had floaties on and were swimming with their parents). Birthday girl was more than happy to show Marina the Mermaid how she can dunk her head in the water and jump off the side into her mom’s arms (she had just turned 4). Super cute.
Where does Keith, lance and pidge participate in the altean!Hunk and Altean! Shiro?
Keith grew up as a Galra with the blade of marmora. Notices he ages fast (like I hc Galrans have long lifespans) Keith discovers he is half human and travels to Earth to find some answers and look into clues for Voltron. Figures out how to shift into his human form, joins the Garrison, gets kicked out (similar in the show basically).
Lance and Pidge are gonna remain human (the reason for this is because Coran is an instructor at the garrison and Allura is a senior office, what position Shiro had and got suspended/fired which was do with with her digging around into her Father’s death. So Allura is Lance’s hero, that I dig and Coran is one of their instructors, their fav one)
I’m thinkin then Altean!Shiro crashes to Earth (maybe escaping the Galra) but also a piece of Altean technology which Allura discovers and links her to the castleship. Gang saves Altean!Shiro, find out Keith’s half alien then find Blue Lion and off they go into space and find Altean!Hunk.