also if you like doctor who

I just watched The Good Doator and??? Holy???? Crap????

I don’t know much about Autism in general, but the idea of the main character being an autistic doctor just? Makes? Me? So? Happy?

Also, this,,,, kid,,,,, I love him?,,,, like I would honestly,,,,,,, fight anyone? Who disrespects him??????

I had to calm myself down once this dude doubted him,,,,,,,

And,,, he has such,,,, a sad,,,, fucking story, like, why?????

Is this director’s goal to make you cry forty eight times in an hour????

Bc if so,,, then you succeeded

So anyway The Good Doctor

Watch it

Make It Cannon Plz

Allura and the Paladins go to a planet to form an alliance, and the aliens want to play their planet’s national anthem, so out of respect they listen to it and…it’s fuckin Toxic by Brittany Spears. Pidge would probably die from laughter and Allura and Shiro try to control their team like the mom and dad they are while Lance just starts crying, wraps his arms around Keith and Hunk, and starts screeching the lyrics.

Here’s All the New Mass Effect: Andromeda Info from the Press Embargo

SOURCE: https://www.reddit.com/r/masseffect/comments/5vq0qp/embargospoiler_discussion_thread/de4a760/

RANDOM BITS

  • Shepard’s gender affects Andromeda’s story somehow.
  • According to a Bioware rep, ‘Eagle eyed players may uncover a few narrative morsels related to Shepard’s story’.
  • No importing of the trilogy’s save files.
  • Character customisation contains ‘unconventional and bizarre hairstyles’. Makeup, scars and tattoos are also available.
  • You can choose the training Ryder received. They are: Security, Biotic, Technician, Leader, Scrapper and Operative.
  • Game starts out quickly with the introductory sequence takes place on a toxic planet.
  • According to IGN and Gamespot, the game has performance issues, with visual glitches, audio and framerate drops.
  • Clunky and jarring Bioware animations on characters. Awkward faces and movements.
  • ‘Eyes, eyelashes and mouths look particular cartoony’, according to IGN.
  • Gamespot’s reviewer feels that ME:A is a more polished version of Dragon Age Inquisition.
  • PS4 Pro will support higher resolutions and HDR features.
  • It feels like Mass Effect.

COMBAT

  • The game opts for flexible skill profiles that can be changed to suit different challenges.
  • Combat is ‘engaging’ with a variety of skills and combat encounters. In addition, the skill tree is ‘massive’ which can be mixed and matched.
  • Skills trees are Combat, Biotics and Tech.
  • Once you hit rank 3 of a skill, you get to choose between 2 separate varieties of the same power and specialise in 1.
  • Classes are still present. They are Soldier, Engineer, Adapt, Sentinel, Vanguard, Infiltrator and Explorer. They have no unique skill trees but rather, they give you a boost in things such as health regen or access certain items that might help you in combat.
  • Combat is faster with tighter gunplay and more responsive handling.
  • Gun feedback has been greatly improved.
  • Most offensive abilities are considered ‘primers’ or detonators’. Deploying a primer skill followed by a detonator inflicts more damage on your target.
  • Jet pack allows for more combat strategies and can be used to access higher, out of reach places.
  • Skills and abilities can be saved and favourited. You can switch between different set-ups mid combat.
  • Some enemies can apparently kill you in one hit.
  • Cover system is sticky and a little finicky, according to IGN. Automatic clipping into cover when the reviewer did not want to get into cover.
  • Squadmates’ AI seem to be more competent.
  • You cannot control your team mates like in the Dragon age games but you can tell them where to go, like in the previous games.

CRAFTING

  • Armour is customisable and can be changed on the ship.
  • Elemental ammo (fire and cryo) are no longer powers but consumable items.
  • Powers can be combined to produce devastating results to your enemies.
  • Autosaves seem generous and Ryder respawns 1 to 2 mins before they he/she died.
  • Blueprints for armour and weapons using RD (research data). You can obtain these by scanning environments and creatures.
  • Blueprints are colour coded. Bronze (common), sliver (uncommon), gold (rare). The rarer it is the more RD they cost.
  • Crafted items can be named.
  • You can add augmentations to your armour.

DIALOGUE

  • Paragon and renegade choices are gone, replaced with more open ended dialogue allowing for grey areas.
  • Dialogue choices are emotional, logical, causal and professional which will influence the direction of the conversation.
  • There is A LOT of dialogue now.
  • Interrupts are now called ‘Impulse Actions’. Interviewer did get the chance to experience it.
  • After completing a mission, you can look at a summary of the events as well as see how you responded to any choices.

EXPLORATION

  • Exploration is ‘exciting and not a chore’.
  • The Nomad controls like the Mako but less rubbery. No bouncing and no weapons on it. You can also return to your ship any time by holding down the Evacuation button.
  • The Nomad has a booster and a shield that, when destroyed, knocks enemies back during combat.
  • Nomad has mining drones to help you retrieve resources.
  • Environments are ‘gorgeous and varied’.

COMPANIONS AND CHARACTERS

  • Interactions between characters are similar to where ME3 and the Citadel DLC left off, more friendly and light banter.
  • You can interact with Dad Ryder.
  • Companions are sectioned off into their own rooms like the previous games.
  • There is a whole menu detailing your relationship status with your crew. Relationships are obviously going to be a huge part of the game.
  • Party members as well as non-party members (eg. the pilots, engineers and doctors) have been fleshed out, with equal care put into each. For example, your crew interacts with each other over the intercom.
  • All squadmates can be flirted with but a relationship might not be necessarily possible. (Think Samara’s romance)
  • You get Cora and Liam at the start of the game.
  • Cora and Liam are ‘fun, passionate people who want to get away from the life they lead but also want to talk about it.
  • Cora is stricter and trained to be your senior but has to deal with the fact that you now outrank her.
  • Liam is cool, upbeat and cockney.
  • Kallo, the new pilot is a bit more serious than Joker.
  • Asari doctor, Lexi T’Perro is voiced by Natalie Dormer from Game of Thrones fame.
  • There is a Scottish scientist called Suvi and a chief engineer called Gil Brodie, who enjoys Male Ryder’s flirting.
  • Vetra is like a ‘stern mother’ and warmer than Garrus.
  • Drack is a bit like Wrex with his dead pan humour but also has a more mature point of view.
  • PB is impulsive and flirty and lives in an escape pod.
  • SAM (Simulated Adaptive Matrix) is like a combination of EDI and Legion and was created by your parents. He can eventually bond with your brain and you can engage in philosophical debates with him. It is hinted you can uncover more of your family backstory though him.
  • Sloane Kelly is an ex-Andromeda Initiative officer who defected.
  • Companions are as engaging and interesting as the ones in the original trilogy.
  • Banter is back. They can be triggered during exploration and while driving in the Nomad.
Beginners guide for wlw mangas/manhwas

1. Tamen De Gushi (Ongoing)

Okay. Listen. This manhwa is for yall out there who just want a chill, innocent, non complicated, 50/50 fluff-to-humor ratio story. Blonde and Brunette. And listen, listen, listen… This is DIABETES worth sugar. The art style is really good too. It’s simple but somewhat sophisticated. So far it has 139 short chapters (about 12 pages per chapter). There’s a linear story to it, but it sometimes drifts to a completely different timeline. It updates about once a month, or sometimes once every two months. 11/12

2. Fluttering/Exciting Feelings (Ongoing/Currently in Hiatus due to Author’s health)

Before I even start with this, I got major Korrasami vibes out of it ho ly shit. Anyway, this manhwa is currently at chapter 68, and sad to say that the author may never continue the story again due to cancer and several other reasons. But I am still adding this manhwa to the list because it’s sooo good. It’s not as fluffy and humorous as Tamen De Gushi because later in the story, No-rae (brown hair) brings in some drama while Seol-a has drama of her own kind. The art is simple but it’s great enough to look amazing. Still though, the manhwa is great, but sadly… it might be discontinued :(. 10/12

3. Citrus [Saburouta] (Ongoing)

I like this manga. I like it a lot. The art is good anatomy wise, but sometimes it gets too…. much….. Here’s a note, though: These two are step sisters. Yes. You heard me right. There are a lot of love triangles, a lot of drama, a lot of “Im-gonna-kiss-her-wait-no-nvm” moments, but there are a lot of WELL-DRAWN kiss scenes and semi-sexual things. There is almost no story line? Well, there is, but it’s your typical high school plot. It barely updates, and it currently has 30 chapters. Probably updates once every two months. 8.5/12

4.  Yagate Kimi Ni Naru (Ongoing)

Yo, listen. This one is ……. VERY complicated. If you are planning on reading this story, I need you to know that this is as basic as I can put it: Nanami hates herself and doesn’t want her partner Yuu to fall in love with her, while Yuu is someone who can’t fall in love with someone. The art is simple but good god it’s really good *o*. It has fluff, but for every fluff there will always be some sort of angst right after or before it. There is certainly a plot line on this but it doesn’t focus too much on the plot. Characters are great and they have a personality of their own. Despite the “Im not in love” thing that is going on in this manga, there are many, many, cute parts. It updates about once every month or every two months. 10.5/12

5. The Love Doctor (Ongoing)

(PS: this image is misleading btw but it was too fucking cute) I. freaking. love. this. manhwa. so. much. Now, this has many, many fluff moments but it also has its bulk of angst and drama. Love(ish) triangles, dark past from both parties, and there IS an age gap between the two but I forgot how many years. Still though!!! It is worth a read! The art style is cute and light and adorable, but sometimes the emotions can start looking the same in each panel (especially for one of the characters). Updates, I believe, every month. 11/12

6. Pulse [Ratana Satis] (Ongoing)

Look at this art. Look at it. Isn’t it cute? Well, if you’re here for cute shit turn the fuck away cus this IS indeed cute, buuuuuut it also has sex scenes. There is also fluff and drama, and as you can see, one of them is a doctor. The art style is pretty well done and really sophisticated. I can’t remember if there’s an age gap? I’m pretty sure there is? Anyway!!! There’s a story, yes, and also a shitty ex that no one should like but everyone feels sorry for (for good reasons of course). 12/12

7. Magan & Danai / Magan he Danai (Ongoing)

This one reminds me of Tamen De Gushi a lot, BUT…. This one is directed to the life of two women who love each other and what happens in their daily life. The art is much more detailed that TDG, and the characters have very different personalities. Danai, the shorter one, is the more mature one but also the more feminine one while Magan, the taller one, is definitely a fucking cry baby. To be honest, idk how frequently it updates? But!!! Still!! Go watch!!! 11/12

8. What Does the Fox Say? (Ongoing, 2 chapters left)

Ho ly shit whe re to be gin…? Definitely not light. It is not full of fun or fluffy or innocent. This manhwa is dark, sexy, angsty, drama-filled, teeth gritting, and very complicated. VERY, VERY, VERY, Adult. A story with a beautiful young blonde who loves a much older boss, and the much older boss has a shitty ex that everyone loves who fucked up a lot but she has her reasons. This is one of those manhwas that you need to ANALYZE every. single. fucking. scene. It is one of those where each scene MEANS something and you have to keep a sharp eye even at the sex scenes. The art style is good. Not amazing, but decent enough. As I said, it ends in two chapters. It updates twice a month (from my observations). 12/12

*Note: These are all based on my observations

8

The Capaldi Era (14/41)

The Magician’s Apprentice - written by Steven Moffat - directed by Hettie MacDonald

psa for the yoi fandom: russian names & how to use them

Russian guides: masterpost | patronyms | terms of affection | answered asks

I’m going to start by swearing this isn’t me just complaining but a general resource for the Yuri on Ice fandom because I’ve noticed some mistakes in the naming conventions used among the fandom and want to help correct them. Especially in how the fandom treats diminutives. I absolutely love seeing the huge amount of interest in Russian diminutives, etc. in fanart and fics and hopefully this breakdown will help continue that trend and interest and even spur some more ideas in fandom content.

So let’s go through some important details below the cut!

Keep reading

AH I FINISHED THIS IN TIME!! :D (It’s still the 16th here!) But today is my good ol’ friend @a-million-chromatic-dreams‘s birthday today! I hope you’re having a great day, Jen - I love you bunches! You now have one more year left of being a teen. ;D

10 Things I love about Expiration Date

#1.

This face. 

Legend says it only happens within a millisecond, but once you see it, it’s chilling. Like if this screenshot doesn’t describe the personality of Medic idk what else would, guys. Dude is so ready to scare the entire shit outta Scout. You can see it in his cold blue eyes. That boogeyman smirk. His evil (yet groomed) eyebrows. Y’all, this man holds so much unadulterated glee at witnessing the pain and suffering of others, so much madne–

–aaaand he’s back. Everything’s cool. Hey doc what the hell is that?

“TUMORS!” :Dc

k then

#2.

So originally I took this screenshot bc of Spy’s eyebrow and Heavy’s annoyed expression of being awoken from his slumber….

but then I proceeded to laugh my ass off bc I also happened to capture Sniper staring off into space while contemplating his existence in this universe.

(I’m sure this is a common occurrence with him. He’s probably the type of dude that wonders if pigeons have feelings.)

#3.

Still in the same room, only this time Spy has been gravely insulted by the Scoot.

But look at the others. They don’t seem too exasperated with Scout and his doodles of Spy. Maybe it’s because they also think this meeting is dumb, maybe it’s because they actually knew Scout was going to pull this prank, or maybe it’s because they too think The Eiffel Tower Having Sexual Congress With Spy is a hilarious joke.

Either way, it’s nice to see the other mercs genuinely smiling at Scout and his shenanigans. It’s better than the common fandom theme where Scout is The Worst and Everybody Hates Him.

No, the other old dudes know how to kid around too (even though it’s still at the Spy’s expense, oops)

Of course, whether the Pyro is smiling at him too is something we’ll never know. Personally I think he’s just eyeing up that bucket. Imagine how different this whole video would have gone if Pyro took the bucket instead of Soldier. 

Probably not so different actually.

#4.

This goes to show that Medic is not just a sadistic doctor. He’s a sadistic doctor that cares about his friends and smiles at them when he passes by.

It’s like when you’re walking down the hallway to class and you see your friend going to their class and you smile and nod to acknowledge their existence. It’s such a nice thing, and of all ppl Medic was the one who did that.

“Interesting.”


#5.

If there was a looping video of just Demoman and Sniper playing their instruments of choice I would pay to watch it forever. Also, how did they get there? Did Spy just yell “hey assholes who wants to help me create a romantic dinner mood so I can teach Scout how to talk to a girl” and Demo and Snipes were like “ok m8 no problem B)”

I know we’re already used to the fact that these boys are mad talented, but I still love the fact that their instruments aren’t what you would stereotype them to play based on their personality. 

The dude that’s paid to blow shit up can probably play Beethoven, and the Loner Guy that lives in a camper van probably knows the tune of Careless Whisper by heart. 

I love that.

#6.

Once again I take a screenshot in order to capture the character in the middle, only to lose my shit at the person standing at the far left.

Look at Medic’s face. Yes, I get it, in context this is a ridiculous situation. I mean the last line said before that was “I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days”. This is almost Saturday cartoon material here.

But still, look at his fucking face. I just…

MEIN FUCKING GOTT VHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCK

#7.

Speaking of horrified reactions. 

Thank goodness I know what the context is in this clip because otherwise I would have assumed someone died, or Armageddon had arrived, or something else completely unimaginable happened and there’s nothing that can be done at all, ever.

But no, it’s just a mutant tentacle monster. And this is right before Heavy asks Medic to ubercharge him, because he’s metal af.

All jokes aside, though, the reason why I am putting so much emphasis on these little miliseconds of expression is because these characters are 3D animated, and a team of people sat in front of a computer rigging these facial features to move this way. Even though these moments happen for only a second, they are still very telling when you look at them up close.

Besides, Heavy doesn’t make this face very often (as far as we’ve seen) and it’s something worth remembering (amirite, Comic #6??)

#8.

Ok, lemme tell you guys a thing:

If I was fighting a giant-tentacle-whole-wheat-bread-monster and it hoisted my ass several feet into the air, only to fling me back to mother earth with all of it’s strength, I would stay on my fucking back for like five minutes trying to get breath back into my lungs and wondering why tf I even bothered to fight anyway.

THIS DUDE get’s knocked on his ass, arms and legs akimbo and everything, get’s back up mid-fucking-tumble while reaching for his blade, and charges back into the fight like nothing ever happened. 

Seriously, it’s one swift motion, like a damn nature show. You could watch the video again but you’d have to make sure not to blink because it happens so fast.

 And the amazing thing is that all the mercs (and Pauling too) have this insane ability of getting fucked, getting even more fucked, getting back up, and then getting back into the shitstorm with no hesitation. 

Then again, what’s what the Gravel Wars basically are right?

Shit, Administrator was right, these dudes are straight up Plutonium.


#9.

“Good news! We’re not dying! We are going to live FOREVER!”

Oh that Soldier, always giving a laugh. Honestly, though, the reason why I saved this was because I didn’t realize for a long time that the reason why he was able to jump in on the conversation was because he was eaten by the bread monster.

It makes sense, because last time we saw him he was being dragged while screaming something about teleporting bread. He was probably just laying there in the monster’s throat, getting ready to use a grenade, when suddenly boom went the bomb and he received visitors. All this time I never put two and two together that he was stuck inside the bread monster before Pauling and Scout made it cool. Shame on me. That’s definitely a Soldier thing to do.

(Also, you wanna know what a bread monster and Soldier have in common? They both have a talent of cockblocking Scout.)

#10.

And the final one.

There’s nothing like a family portrait. If the video froze at this point with credits I would have expected to hear a 90′s family sitcom jingle.

What a video.

8

The Capaldi Era (5/41)

Time Heist - written by Steve Thompson and Steven Moffat - directed by Douglas Mackinnon

Jerome Valeska x Reader: Daddy’s Little Doctor

Originally posted by evaalterrr

omg i got so excited at it i can’t even….. ugh. not only because i got an another request but also because this is an amazing idea and i’m in love with this, i think i need to change some things that were a little unclear to me but i hope you will like it anyway

sorry if it’s too short to your liking, & please let me know what you think
REQUESTS ARE  O P E N

PART TWO


[Y/N] was a pretty 15 year old girl, who liked spending her free time in her dad’s work. Jim Gordon’s work. She’d go there everyday after school.


She wanted to work at the GCPD in the future, not as a cop, but as a doctor, just like Doctor Leslie Thompkins. [Y/N] was a very smart girl, so everybody believed she would accomplish her goal.

[Y/N] enjoyed being with Doctor Lee, and as you may wonder, Doctor Lee enjoyed being with [Y/N]. She reminded her of herself when she was younger, so she was happy to answer any questions this sweet girl had.

“Harvey! Do you know where Doctor Thompkins is?" 

[Y/N]’s been looking for her, she wanted to watch her work, as always. At first she wasn’t sure if that’s okay with her but she said she enjoys her company, much to [Y/N]’s joy.

"I don’t know, kiddo, check the morgue.” Answered busy Harvey Dent petting her on the head and walking away.

[Y/N] was walking to the morgue as she heard two cops talking about Jerome Valeska. They didn’t have a chance to meet but she saw him, that day when they found his dead mother. Dead because of him.  

His cult was trying to bring him back from the dead…

“Can you believe he’s lying in the morgue right now with no face on?!”

“Shut up, this is disgusting.”

[Y/N] could agree on that. It seriously gave her chills.

But still, it didn’t change the fact she wanted to see how he looked now. She would never admit it to anyone, but she thought he was kinda cute. When he had a face and was still breathing, though.

[Y/N] entered the room humming a song she always does.  

“Doctor Le–” she stopped dead in her tracks.

Before her, Lee Thompkins sitting on a table, tied up, looking over her should to see who just came in, worry filled her eyes as she noticed it’s [Y/N]. And there it was Jerome Valeska, standing across from Doctor Lee, his face all bloody and bandaged smiling widely at [Y/N]. He was wearing something very skin-tight…

“Hi there. Care to join us, Sweetheart?” Jerome walked towards her.

Now as he took a better look at her, he noticed she looked younger than him.

“Don’t cha a little too young to work here?”

[Y/N] only shrugged and gulped as he started to tie her up and told her to sit beside Lee.

They looked at each other, Lee’s gaze looked like it was asking her “Why did you have to come here exactly right now?!”

Jerome not interested in Lee anymore, moved to kneel before the pretty girl and looked into her eyes.

“Do you know where is my face, Precious?”

She stared at him. “Yeah… I heard Dwight took it and that he wears it like a mask..” She made a disgusted face.

Jerome exhaled deeply. “At least he’s a handsome fella now.”

[Y/N] cracked a small smile trying not to giggle. She didn’t want Doctor Lee to think she’s stupid.

Jerome glanced back at Lee and then back to [Y/N] and cupped her cheek. 

“Now tell me, what exactly are you doing here?  You can’t possibly be working here, you look young. How old are you anyway, Sweet Cheeks?”

“Umm..” She was unsure if she should tell him but he had something in his eyes that screamed “tell me all about you!”

“I don’t work here, I’m 15 years old. My dad is working here.”

“Don’t tell him that [Y/N]!”

“[Y/N]? Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He smirked and reached for something to gag Doctor Lee. “Who’s your dad? I’m dying to know.”

“James Gordon.”

He started laughing like crazy. “James Gordon! I can’t believe it! And Doctor here is still talking to you after what your father has done to her poor husband?” He burst in another laugh.

[Y/N] wanted to defend her dad but she knew there was no point.

“Ohhh you’re coming with me, Gorgeous! You’re too fun to be left here!” He started to untie her.

And she left with him. Just like that.

Doctor Lee waited for someone to rescue her, they needed to find [Y/N]. They needed to find Jerome.

But she could’t stop thinking about that one thing  that was still disturbing her.

The adoration in young girl’s eyes when she looked at the Ginger.

Ok forgive me but I just need gush about Anissa Pierce (AKA Thunder), a DC superhero, because first of all look at her, she’s amazing:

A badass woman of color whose power is to control her own density (which sounds kind of strange at first until you realize that means she can make herself completely invincible and kick everyone’s ass by dropping herself on top of them holy shit)

Not only that but she’s got a medical degree because she wanted to graduate before becoming a superhero so like???? she’s a fucking doctor oh my god

And she’s multilingual (English, French, and Spanish) so that’s amazing

But wait! There’s more!!

She has a girlfriend who is also a woman of color and is also super badass:

That’s Grace Choi, a seven foot tall (so big!!!) Amazonian and Asian-American woman who is clearly amazing. 

Grace is an abuse survivor with superhuman strength, durability, and healing so good luck trying to beat her up, she’ll kick anyone’s ass

So anyway the two of them are cute together and they’re each super awesome LGBTQ+ women of color which is great

Also here they are playing video games because that’s adorable:

Humans are weird

There’s a lot on here about how humans would be considered a weird species when compared to the rest of alien life. I got to thinking about how aliens would respond to humans having multiple skillsets. Like, imagine that every alien species is divided based on their skills, scientists are only scientists, warriors are only warriors, chefs are only chefs, and so on. 

The moment that humans get thrown into the mix the new medical officer, and the first human on board, is not only able to perform exceptionally as a doctor, but can also fix mechanical problems on the ship. And if you challenge them to a game of those paper rectangles humans call “cards” you can watch your credit balance decrease after each “hand”. 

Image the aliens being utterly baffled by a human who spends all their day in the kitchen also being able to calm down and contain the sixteen foot apex predator  the crew brought on board that morning, at the cost of two expedition teams.

And how much would it freak the aliens out if the ship got attacked, and the normally very calm and collected human Records Keeper pulls a laser pistol out of her desk and proceeds to slaughter the raiders without breaking a sweat.


“Human-Tifa, I thought you were trained in classical literature!” said Jorbit, still shaking in his grey uniform and getting a healthy amount of sweat on the recently cleaned floor. Tifa returned the pistol to her desk and sat back down to keep working. 
“I spent two tours on Locus 8 during the Captish Wars.″ she says, and Jorbit absorbs this information slowly, gaining a new appreciation for the crew’s Record Keeper. He picked himself up, and made a mental note to never annoy any of the ship’s humans.

Part 6 of my Studyblr University Orientation Week

I see a lot of people on studyblr talking about dealing with stress and anxiety over grades and perfectionism, but not a lot of discussion of being mentally ill and in university/college. So if you’re looking for stress reduction stuff, this post is not for you. This is for my mentally ill peeps. 

I just want to preface this with a little disclaimer. This is based on my own experience. I have depression, anxiety, ADD and OCD. I don’t know everything. I still have a lot of trouble coping, particularly with the last two as they were only recently diagnosed. This is just meant to be a few useful tips that might help a little bit. 

  • Go see a therapist. Even if you think you’re doing okay, it’s still good to have that support system there if you need it. Your therapist can also give you coping mechanisms that are tailored to your specific needs. They may also suggest you go on medication or refer you to a doctor who can prescribe it. 

  • If you are taking medication, set a reminder on your phone so that you take it at the same time every day. 

  • Set about sixteen alarms in the morning, starting half an hour before you want to wake up and spread about five to ten minutes apart. If you’re anything like me and have a lot of trouble getting to sleep, you probably have a lot of trouble getting up in the morning. This technique is a lifesaver. Also change up the alarm ~once a month. I find that my body gets used to it after a while and I just sleep right through it. 

  • Register with your school’s disability services. Yes, your mental illness is a disability. They’ll be able to help with accommodations (this could be anything from extra time on exams to extensions on your assignments). 

  • If you think that you might be handing in a paper late because depression is kicking your ass, message your professor at least a week in advance. If you tell them two days before, they’re not going to care. And if you end up not needing the extension, that’s okay. It’s better for it to be there if you need it. 

  • Headphones. Everywhere. People are stupid and loud and it’s overwhelming as fuck. Wear them right up until the prof starts lecturing. Do NOT wear them during the lecture though, your prof will hate you - though you may be able to discuss it with your prof the first week. idk, maybe you have cool profs who get it. 

  • Make a friend in your class that you can get notes from in case you can’t get out of bed. I mean this is good for anyone in case of illness in general, but yeah. Depression. Woohoo. 

  • It’s okay if you need to take a lighter course load because of your mental health. Loads of people do it. 

  • Related: It’s okay if you take 5+ years to complete your degree. You’ll get there. 

  • AD(H)D friends who stim: That’s super great and you totally should. But please do not leg bounce when you’re at a desk that has all the chairs connected to it. You will shake everybody’s seat and distract them. I get the urge to leg bounce (fuck, I’m leg bouncing rn) but please try a different stim if you could. Or bounce gently. Just no earthquakes (no joke, I literally thought it was an earthquake once and was super confused why no one else was panicking. i learned nothing that day, I was so distracted). 

  • Fidget toys are the best things ever and you can use them in lecture (provided they don’t make too much noise because your prof might yell at you for that). 

  • Bathrooms are your new best friend for panic attacks. Hide in a stall and take a few deep breaths to calm down. There’s a lot less noise there and you’re less likely to be disturbed than if you go to a stairwell. 

  • Breathe in for 5, hold for 5, out for 7. 

  • 5-4-3-2-1: Find five things in the room that are blue. Four things that are yellow. Three that are pink. Two that are purple. One that is green. You can substitute this with any colours you like. You can also do ones like “think of five things that start with f (and so on)” or “five tv shows that you like, four books, etc.” if you’re somewhere without a lot of colours (or in your handy bathroom stall). Repeat with new criteria or new answers until calm. 

  • If you’ve been crying and don’t want people to know: grab some paper towels, run some cold water on them. Wipe your eyes with them. Pat your cheeks with them. It makes less of a mess than splashing your face will and I find that it helps me a lot more. 

  • Schedule the shit out of your life. You won’t forget important meetings or things like eating dinner (whoops). 

  • Make sure that you give yourself plenty of breaks during the day. Gotta conserve that energy, yo. 

  • Find out when the library’s quietest and grab your books then. Same deal with the bookstore at the beginning of the year and buying your books. Please, the bookstore is scary when it’s busy. Save yourself. 

  • Frozen dinners are cheap, easy to make, and require next to no energy. Same with cereal, ramen, and most pasta. And egg sandwiches (two eggs, hot sauce, and mayonnaise. Best thing ever.). 

  • Great questions to ask the people who sit next to you in class: What’s your name (preface this with “Hi, I’m *blank*”)? What are you studying? Where are you from? How are you liking the class? 

  • If you’re having trouble getting started, try for ten minutes. You may find that it’s easy to keep going after that. Or maybe you’ll need to stop but at least you’ll have gotten ten minutes of work in. 

  • You’re doing great. This is a really hard thing that you’re doing right now, but you’ve got it. 
Taylor Mason

I am really excited about Taylor Mason’s appearance in Showtime’s Billions.

Here’s Showtime’s behind the scenes introduction of Taylor on YouTube, with interview snippets with the actor and the writers.

I don’t know the show at all. It is definitely not my usual genre. No one does any science or magic, you know? It’s a fast-paced businessy financey drama thing. I don’t even remember how I found out, but when I heard that Billions claimed to have the first ever nonbinary character on TV… well, to be honest, I kinda did a skeptical face. The articles are all very US-centric, and explicitly nonbinary characters are not uncommon in some parts of the world. And anyway, “nonbinary character” usually means “gender non-conforming binary character” because that’s usually the best we can hope for. But yeah, I was interested, so I looked into it.

Here’s my TL;DR: Billions is the first mainstream US TV show to my knowledge that contains a character overtly described as nonbinary and whose they/them pronouns are stated in the show and affirmed by almost all of the other characters.

We’re introduced to Taylor, played by Asia Kate Dillon (also nonbinary, they/them pronouns), in the first episode of season 2 - toying with another character about being vegan. They’re a sharp, brilliant, think-outside-the-box intern.

In episode 2 it gets a bit more in-your-face:

That guy in the second shot, Bobby Axelrod, is the very rich, very arrogant boss of macho boy’s club Axe Capital. And he just accepts Taylor’s assertion of their pronouns, no questions asked, no raised eyebrows. Just, “okay.”

Taylor proceeds to seriously impress the very rich arrogant boss guy in the chair.

Taylor isn’t going through some coming out plot, working out their gender and discovering themself. Taylor is out and comfortable and confident in their identity. People who refuse to accept them get bulldozed, either by other characters or by the plot itself.

Later in that episode there’s a scene in which Taylor isn’t present, and Taylor is misgendered by that bald guy, Bill:

It’s hard to capture the tone in this scene. It’s an alpha male showdown, over a nonbinary person’s pronouns. The arrogant guy who misgenders Taylor gets corrected, and then has two guys above him in the pecking order stare him down until he concedes, in body language and facial expression. Taylor’s rich white old guy boss is not gonna tolerate you misgendering them. (Over the next few episodes it becomes clear that Taylor is replacing Bill as Axelrod’s “favourite.”)

Bobby Axelrod upholds the pronouns of every singular-they nonbinary person in this one scene, to everyone watching the show. After that the conversation continues as before. It all happens very naturally as part of a conversational plot to take down a business rival, like it’s important and yet no big deal at all to correct a colleague’s pronouns.

There are people watching this who are nonbinary and going “wow, that’s me.” There are nonbinary people who haven’t worked themselves out watching this and going “wow, maybe that’s me?” There are parents of nonbinary kids watching this and going, “wow, maybe using new pronouns isn’t so hard? Maybe my child is not just going through a phase?” There are nonbinary kids watching this with their parents, thinking “maybe now my parents see Taylor being taken seriously they will take me more seriously.”

This is incredible.

Naturally, I have concerns. I’ve got them on the back-burner because one TV show is not a pattern among TV shows. It does, however, fit a known trend of nonbinary visibility.

Taylor is white, AFAB, thin, young, wealthy, able-bodied, and masculine-presenting. They fit the nonbinary cliché so well that I can’t even find any deviation from it. In reality nonbinary people are very diverse in pronouns, gendered presentation, race, body type, and class. But when newspapers are interviewing these “new” and fascinating nonbinary people, they always seem to choose people mostly like me: white, thin, AFAB, young, apparently able-bodied, androgynous-to-masculine-presenting. (I’ve been interviewed by journalists for articles about nonbinary people that then didn’t even include me in the final piece, because I refused to be seen as a representative of nonbinary people in some way.)

Taylor is also autistic. I don’t know if it’s deliberate, goodness knows writers create accidentally autistic characters all the time, but if you know what to look for in TV-autism it’s really really clear. And people really like to draw attention to the way autism and gender non-conformity overlap, to the extent that articles have been written by and focusing on doctors who believe that some gender non-conformity is directly caused by autism and should not be treated. (Article link. Warning: Daily Mail, general awfulness, etc.)

So going forward, I’m hoping that if and when there are more nonbinary people in TV shows we get to see some femininity, some differing body types, some people of colour, etc. I’m also hoping that we get to see some nonbinary people who are not obviously autistic - characters who express emotion freely and are not somehow brilliantly sharp and intelligent and innovative in one particular area of interest, for example.

But for now, I am thrilled. A TV show is portraying someone like me. In this case I’m lucky because I fit that autistic nonbinary cliché down to the ground, and I am perfectly represented in a mainstream US TV show for the first time in my life. I want other nonbinary people to experience that too, and this is a huge step forward and a long-deserved validation of the nonbinary community. I am excited to see what happens next for nonbinary representation and visibility.

stuff from amy’s insta livestream (9.15.17)
  • amy wants ethan to dress up as timmy from fairly odd parents bECAUSE REASONS
  • amy was playing gorillaz during her lilvestream
  • amy is a lowkey fan of couples costume and urges mark to dress with her
  • she also is a huge ass fan of group costumes
  • blue smurf costumes and body paint remind amy of bad homestuck cosplays
  • canon peevils has three eyes and no limbs attached
  • amy is (or used to be)  a doctor who fan
  • mark used to watch doctor who as well !!
  • amy’s fave doctor is matt smith
  • amy loves to shop at asos
  • mark bulk buys, according to amy
  • amy wants tO BE ETHAN FOR HALLOWEEN AKSAHDJHSDIUERT
  • she also wants to dress and act like kathryn because she knows her the most
  • kathryn is more into gaming culture than the rest of teamiplier
  • amy wants to improve on her pottery skills
  • amy wants to livestream open rct with mark on tour
  • amy was making a stamp on the livestream!! it’s an alien!!
  • “nothing wrong with being sad once in a while. sometimes you just need to be sad for a little bit.”
  • amy can hold grudges for a long time and doesn’t understand the concept of forgiveness ad forgetting
  • eventually amy will have an office room for her to do her art. for now, she’s doing her art in the kitchen.
  • amy’s fave colors are yellow and charcoal
  • amy has a snoopy waffle iron she never used
  • shitty art classes with amy: a new tv series coming to you
  • that top thing was a joke and i can’t believe i have to clarify that

comment other things from the stream!!

Negan Imagine ~ Out of the blue

When Negan first visits Alexandria he takes a liking in the heavily pregnant reader and shows a whole different side of him when its suddenly gets really tough for her…

Requested

Originally posted by aliciasdaryl

The sun was shining brightly while you sat on the porch of your house while you sat in the rocking chair swinging slightly back and forth as you saw Rick coming towards you.
”Feeling better?”, he asked as he walked the stairs up.
Your pregnancy had been everything else than easy.
Shortly after you had noticed it, the problems had began and while you had thought that it would stop after the first months it got even worse.
You could be glad that you were in Alexandria, had medicine and wouldnt have to fear that the baby would come while a hoard of walkers could show up around every corner.
”A bit. The fresh air is doing a good job”, you said smiling at him while he pulled some tablets out of his pockets.
”I was told to give them to you”, he said laying the tablets into your hands.
You looked at Rick while he sat down next to you in another rocking chair.
His face was pale, he looked like he hadnt slept in days and his eyes looked like he would begin to cry in every next second.
It was just days ago you had seen your friends coming back, their faces completely distraught and filled with grief.
Their eyes still red and swollen from crying.
It still felt unreal that they were gone and you wished that they would come back, even if you knew they wouldn’t.
You weren’t with them when this man, this monster, killed them.
You were in Alexandria, keeping everything as good together as you could while Rick was gone.
You had almost come with them, but Gregory opposed to let two pregnant women live at Hilltop and you knew that you would let Maggie go when he announced that to Rick.
You had a break of your problems in that time and you would have never taken the place while seeing how bad she felt.
But the hard pregnancy wasnt the only thing Maggie and you shared.
The father of your child wouldnt ever get the chance to see his child grow up, just like Glenn.
He had died shortly before you met Aaron who brought you to Alexandria and also shortly before you found out that you were pregnant.
”Wont be long until its coming, huh?”, Rick asked smiling slightly while nodding over to your belly.
”By what the Doctor at hilltop calculated the last time, it has to be about two weeks, maybe a bit less left”, you said smiling back.
You looked back onto the street and saw how Rosita walked towards your house and looked up to Rick and you.
“Rick? I’ll go with Spencer on a run. Just wanted you to know”, she said into your direction.
“Alright”, responded Rick nodding before just minutes after Rosita had vanished you heard noises coming from the gates you couldnt match to Rosita and Spencer.

You walked behind Rick in the direction of the gates and could already see from afar that Spencer and Rosita werent alone and that the man behind the gates was no one else than the man your friends had told you of with shook in their voices
Negan.
He was standing there, with the baseball bat that had killed your friends over his shoulder while he talked to Spencer.
“You’re too early”, said Rick while he walked closer towards Negan.
“Missed you”, Negan said chuckling with a weird grin on his lips.
You surveyed him while he talked to Rick.
He was tall, his dark hair was gelled back, his lips that still formed that grin were surrounded with a salt and pepper beard and his eyes were gleaming.
And this pair of eyes suddenly darted directly at you while their gleam increased.
His glance stayed on you and caught your eyes and didnt let them go for moments until he looked grinning back to Rick.
Your glance went behind him were you saw how Daryl stood within Negans army.
He looked horrible, clothed in some kind of sack looking stuff and his face was swollen and covered with bruises.
God what had they done with him?

You got ripped out of your thought by the squeaking of the gates and saw how Negan walked grinning inside.
“Hold that”, muttered Negan grinning to Rick before walked towards you.
“Holy crap Darling, you are really pregnant like holy shit…and by the way also fucking pretty”, he said smirking as he walked closer while his eyes didn’t leave yours letting a shiver run down your back. 
He looked on some exaggerated kind of way around as if he was searching for somebody before he looked back at you. 
“You know Sweetie, you really deserve fucking better. If I’d be your fucking man I wouldn’t leave your fucking side…especially not in your circumstances”, he said grinning at you. 
“He’s dead”, you hissed glaring at him. 
Negan formed an “Oh” with his lips which you werent really sure about if he was actually sorry or just being sarcastic. 
Seconds later he looked smirking at you, his tongue between his lips while he analyzed your face.
“Would you-”, started Rick to say but was directly interrupted by Negan. 
“No Rick. Would you fucking shut up while I’m talking to this beautiful lady?”, Negan said chuckling at Rick while he pointed at you. 
You nodded to Rick, trying to show him that everything was alright, another dispute here was the last thing you needed and wanted.
“So what’s your name, Darling”, he asked as he turned smirking back to you . 
“(Y/N)”, you said. 
“Thats some fucking beautiful name, Darling. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m Negan”, he said smirking while you just nodded trying to respond with an uninterested glance. 
“Sweetheart, Its a fucking shame that I gotta do some work here but I’d fucking love to spend some time with you when its done”, he said winking at you before he walked back to Rick who was still holding Negans bat in his hands.
“Didn’t know you have such treasures here”, you heard him chuckling say as he bowed down to Rick. 
Negan winked one last time at you before he and his men began to make their way through Alexandria.

You walked sighing through the streets, not really knowing what to do while you saw how the Saviors got everything out of the houses that seemed somehow useful to them, before you saw Carl walk into the provisional Hospital and decided to follow him into it.
But as you had already expected it, you and Carl werent alone for a long time.
You jolted up as you saw two men walking into the room and walked straight towards the cupboards with the medicine and began pulling everything inside their bags they could grab.
”You need to leave something here”, growled Carl while one of the men turned chuckling around.
”We don’t need to leave anything here”, he said before he turned back around again and grabbed some more tablets.
“Don’t you see that she’s pregnat? She needs the medicine”, said Carl his voice already trembling though anger.
“Kid, do you think we care about that? ‘Cause surprise surprise, we don’t”, said the man chuckling darkly.
“The deal was half of it, not all”, you said calmly but still tensed.
The man turned around and looked chuckling at you.
“The thing is, what you say doesn’t matter. Not at all”, he said grinning at you. You scoffed but before you could continue you saw how Carl raised his gun.
“Deal is Deal”, growled Carl as the man turned around to him.
“Come on Kid, put that gun down you won’t shoot anyway”, said the other man grinning.
In the same moment Carl pointed at the ceiling and pulled the trigger producing a loud shot.
“I’m serious”, Carl growled before he continued.
“Now put them back”, Carl threatened while you saw two figures coming in through the door.
Rick and Negan.
Negans glance wandered from Carl to you and back before he turned around to him.
“Wow, really Kid?”, Negan asked chuckling.
“You should all go before you find out how dangerous we all are”, growled Carl, the gun still raised.
“Well, pardon me, young man. Excuse the sit out of my goddamn french but did you just fucking threaten me?”, asked Negan pointing at Carl who growled in response.
“I like you, so I don’t wanna go hard and prove a point here…again”, Negan continued while Carl finally lowered the gun.
“So whats the fucking problem, that Carl over here wants to shoot my men”, asked Negan raising his eyebrows.
“Your men want to take all the medicine and not the agreed half”, you said while Negan turned around to you by the sound of your voice.
He smirked while looking into your eyes, but just seconds later his glance got more serious before he turned around to his men.
“Alright…you leave the fucking medicine here”, he said shortly glancing at you and then back to his men.
“Everyth-”, began the shorter one to reply but got interrupted by Negan.
“Yeah fucking everything. But that doesnt change that this young man tried to cause some fucking trouble with one of my guns. So you know what I fucking guess Rick? I think you have way to many of my fucking guns”, he said looking over to Rick.
While Negan began to talk to Rick you felt how an unbearable pain shot through your body and made your legs feel like they couldn’t hold your body anymore. You heard how you gasped asyou stumbled backwards, while your eyes fluttered through the pain that just wouldn’t stop shooting through every inch of your body.
You felt how somebody grabbed you before you could stumble even more and how this person placed one hand on your back to stabilize you.
As you slowly looked up from your belly you didn’t saw into Ricks or Carl’s eyes, it were Negans.
“Holy crap Sweetheart are you alright?”, he asked looking at you while you tried to get your voice back.
“It’s coming”, was the only thing you could get out of your mouth before the pain shot again through your body.
Looking into his eyes you saw the shook in them, he swallowed hard and it seemed like he couldnt get a word out of his mouth.
You had made this man speechless for a moment.
You saw how he rallied himself , while you noticed that you had clawed your hands into the leather sleeves of his jacket.
Hell, why now?
Why?
Now when this man was here.
“Where’s your fucking doctor?”, Negan finally asked turning to Rick.
“Your men shot her some time ago”, you muttered before Rick could say anything.
Negan looked back at you while he breathed stressed out.
“Anybody else who knows how to deliver a fucking baby?”, he asked and you could hear that he tried to be as calm as he could.
You tired to get your pounding head to think about the people that could be in line for that.
Rosita was in the woods with Spencer.
She could be anywhere there.
The only one that came into your mind was Eric.
He had told you some time ago that he had assisted by one of the births while Pete had been the doctor here.
And that was better than nothing
“Maybe Eric, but I don’t know where he is”, you  said while your voice trembled.
“Okay Sweetheart, I’ll fucking stay here with you and we’re gonna bring this baby fucking healthy into the world, trust me”, he said still holding you tight before he ordered Rick to search for Eric.
“You’re not staying alone here with her”, said Carl suddenly glaring at Negan.
“Kid, do you really fucking think I’ll hurt her or what?”, Negan asked bewildered.
Carl scoffed while his glance gored through Negan.
“Alright, stay here or help your Dad search for that man, whatever”, Negan said before he looked back at you.
“Its too early, its coming too early”, you muttered trembling while you still tried to realize what was happening right now.
“Don’t worry Sweetheart. Its gonna be fucking alright”, Negan said stroking over your back.
He was calm now, or at least were good at pretending to be and with that, he surprised you.
Right now he wasnt that asshole, he was softer and more concerned than you ever thought this man could be.
Your legs began to become weak again and it seemed like Negan noticed that.
“I’ll get you to the cot”, you heard Negan mutter before he slowly lead you over to the cot.
Your legs trembled as you propped yourself against it and suddenly felt something wet running down your legs.
“Shit”, you muttered before you looked swallowing at Negan.
“Something wrong, Darling?”, you heard Negan ask with a concerned undertone.
“My water just broke”, you responded while you saw how Negan swallowed before he helped you get onto the cot
You laid there whille the pain of your first contraction decreased as Negan looked at you.
“Alright, we gotta get you out of those pants”, he said looking down on you before you slowly nodded.
Negan began gently slipping off your pants but as he went for your panties you jolted up by his touch.  
“Theres no reason to be shy, Sweetheart. Trust me, Ive already seen lady parts and I won’t touch you anywhere you don’t fucking want to”, he said.
”Okay”, you responed quietly nodding.
You looked over to Carl.
You could see that he tried his hardest to not let it show through how difficult this situation was for him.
You had been with them when Lori gave birth to Judith, had helped Maggie to get the baby out of Loris body and had seen how Carl had to see how his mother died.
And you had heard how he finally shot her.
If the situation right now sent you back to the moment his mom died through childbirth, then he would see the pictures before his eyes again also.
“Carl, you don’t have to stay if-”, you said but before you could go on Carl interrupted you.
“I’m staying”, he said determined while you heard Negan chuckle slightly.
You looked back at him, he had sat down on a chair and now he took your hand into his.
“What are you doing?”, you asked looking surprised at him.
“You’re gonna need something to fucking squeeze, right?”, he asked grinning.
That man that sat next to you, holding your hand had nothing in common with the man your friends had to met.
With the man that had bashed your friends heads.
And that confused you.
You didnt know how to get those two versions of him together.
How to see him anyways.
You were about to ask him why he was staying but you felt how everything in your lower stomach contracted again and the pain rushed through your whole body.
You began to tremble uncontrollably as your breath got faster and your heart pumped heavily against your chest while it felt like somebody was ripping your stomach.
The pain brought tears into your eyes and let them fall down your cheeks while you tried to not let the pain drive you insane.
You squeezed the living hell out of Negans hands while he stroke with his free hand over your lower arm, trying his best to help you through your pain.
Suddenly the door hit open and you saw how Eric rushed in, while you felt how the contraction got less strong again but left your body trembling.
“Rick told me-”, he said but suddenly stopped as he saw Negan sitting next to you while you saw how Negan began to grin.
Eric swallowed but walked then over to you.
“So you know how that whole fucking thing works?”, asked Negan looking at the swallowing Eric.
“I’m no doctor, but I helped once…I’ll try my very best", he said to Negan before his glance wandered over to you.
“Trust me”, Eric said while you responded with a nod because you couldn’t get a word out of your mouth.
You tried to calm yourself a bit down as the pain left your body, but you knew that it would come back, and that it would come back even worse.
You looked at your hand that was still grabbed tight around Negans and made his turn pale.
You shocked loosend your grip as you saw how hard you had squeezed it.
“No, no, its fucking okay, just keep doing it”, he said pulling your hand back into his after he had seen your glance.
“Thanks”, you forced with the last energy out of your trembling lips while he began letting his thumb circle soothing over the back of your hand.
“Any fucking time”, he said with a slight smile on his lips.
You stayed like that for not long until the next contraction started that was even worse than the others before and it just kept going like that.
Contraction.
Break.
Contraction.
Break and it just went on and on, while the breaks became smaller and the contractions so worse that you had the feeling that it would break your body.
You don’t know how long it went on like that but it felt like a eternity.
“Alright, (Y/N) you have to press”, said Eric and seemed to sound as calm as he could.
You followed his directions but it just felt like it helped nothing while the pain tortured you.
You heard Negan saying words and even if your pounding head and the gaze the pain had laid over you didnt let you hear what he was saying, his voice somehow calmed you a bit down.

The pain of the contraction finally decreased slowly and left you completely done.
Your ribcage went uncontrollably up and down and you felt as weak as never before.
“I don’t know how long I can go on”, you stumbled, your voice trembling almost as much as your whole body while you looked over to Negan.
“Alright, listen Sweetheart, you seem like a fucking brave and strong woman and I fucking bet you’ve went through a whole shitload of crap so you’ll fucking make it through this too”, Negan said calmly while he soothing squeezed your hand.
You nodded slowing your breath down and laying back into the pillow.
Suddenly Eric’s face went as white as a ghost.
“Whats wrong?”, you heard Negan ask concerned.
You looked to Eric and saw his hands and lower arms completely covered in blood while he stared swallowing over to Negan.
”I don’t think that much blood is normal”, it blustered out of his mouth while his eyes were widened.
Your breath got heavier again, while your body began shaking harder.
You didnt know what to do anymore.
Your head was muddled trough all the pain and your body felt like it couldnt take much more burden.
“What now?”, was the only thing you could get out of your mouth.
“I…I make it somehow happen..we have to go through this, theres no other way I can think of”, said Eric exhausted but still determined.
You saw yourself already dead, worse, your child dead and the thoughts of that made the panic increase and your eyes widened, while you began to quietly whimper.
“Shh, you’re doing a fucking great job (Y/N). You’re gonna make it through this, alright? We’re gonna deliver your baby fucking healthy, I fucking promise”, Negan said before he brought your hand to his face and brushed his lips over its back while his thumb kept circling soothing over it.
You tried to allow the feeling to calm you down, you didnt want the pain to take over your head even if it seemed often like it almost did.
And after a few moment his actions actually calmed you a little bit down before the next time wanted to test you again.
Eric did all he could.
Carl glanced supporting at you even if you saw how hard it was for him.
Negan kept sitting next to you, stood by your side the whole time, held your hand and somehow found the right words.
And you, you were trying your best to stay determined and not let the horrible pain get you down that kept trying to conquer your head after it had overtaken your body.
You don’t know how long it stayed like that.
How long the pain washed over you like a wave that tried to drown you again and again.
And even if it seemed almost impossible to you, Negan was definitely one of the reasons you could keep up.

You were almost completely down and out as you heard a scream and with that one moment you were complete awake again.
As your view began to be clear again was the first thing you saw Negan, his face turned away from you but you could still recognize how amazed and speechless he looked into a specific direction.
You followed his glance and saw how Eric walked towards you with a little body in his arms.
The little body of your baby.
As you felt how it was laid onto your chest, the feeling of pure happiness streamed through your whole body and seemed to wash all the pain out of it.
The last hours suddenly didnt matter anymore for now, they were more than worth it.
You looked at the little human that laid just covered by a small blanket in your arms while you felt how warm tears of happiness rolled down your cheeks.
After some time your glance went up and you saw into the faces of Carl, Eric and also Negan whose glances were directed on you and your child.
You smiled overjoyed and couldnt even stop doing so.
You were exhausted but you didnt care about that for now, you were just happy that your child laid healthy in your arms after that torture of birth.
You heard a knock on the door and just moments later a savior came in.
“Boss, the night has already descended. We should maybe leave…”, said the man with a nervous undertone.
“A third of you stay here with me over the night, the others leave. I don’t fucking care who… and now get the fuck out”, growled Negan before he looked back at you.
You looked asking at him before walked a bit towards you.
“Just wanna be on the fucking save side that you’re both doing well”, he said with a small smile on his lips.
It was not alike the saucy grin he had on face when you were standing by the gates, no, this time and also the whole time he was standing by your side it was a honest friendly smile you would never have expected from him.
You should hate him for what he had done and was still doing to your friends, but after these endless hours he had shown another side and you couldnt leave that side unnoticed.
Negan sat down next to you on the cot looked from you to your child after he had softly brushed a strand of hair out of your face.
“Thats some fucking miracle, huh?”, he said looking at the little bundle of joy in your arms.
“Yeah, it is”, you muttered smiling while you the hand of your baby wrapped around your finger.
“I’ll let you everything here you fucking need, you’re not gonna have to fucking worry about anything”, he muttered half in thoughts before he looked with a half smile up and you could see in his glance that he absolutely meant it.

That man who was a monster had also a humane side in him left you couldn’t deny and he didnt just proved it through the birth where he had stood by your side the whole time, he also stayed the whole night after it with you, making sure that you were alright.
You got to see this side of him even more and more and somehow, you seemed to let this side of him grow.

tagging: @myrabbitholetoneverland
(In case you wanna be added to any tag lists, just send a message)

10 Things I Learned as an Interviewer for the Interviewee

As a fourth year medical students (yikes) I was able to become an interviewer for my medical school. So yes, that means maybe someone I’ve interviewed may one day see this. Though probably not. Anyways, it was very surreal to be on the other side of the process all these years later and while I’m getting ready for interviews myself (anyone want me for residency, btw?)

A lot of expectations and previous notions about interviews that I had really did change and I can see how intricate the process actually is, and I get why we get asked the questions we do. At least somewhat better.                                                                   

All experiences and interviewers are different but here are some things I think can really help out the interviewee. Maybe things you thought were hard and fast rules but aren’t or things you didn’t expect us to be looking for. Anything to help! And while this is directed at pre-meds, the advice should still general enough that anyone can use it, if they want.

Some things to know beforehand; I was part of a two-on-one interview setting which lasted 30 minutes with a few preset questions we needed to ask. The interview was blind, so we couldn’t see stats.

Take a second to observe your interviewers.

This isn’t an open invitation to judge your interviewers, but most of us are pretty telling in the way we present ourselves. If you can take a break for the nerves for a second pay attention to our introductions, our demeanor and how we’re dressed. It can give you a sense of how relaxed or stringent we may be and what our personalities may be like even if we were told to stay stone cold poker-faced. And always keep in mind who your interviewers are and what departments they’re from. It can help guide the tone we set for the entire interview.  

Play off the interviewers.

Now that you’ve taken a moment to take in your surroundings use those to your advantage. If we’re playing tough, answer with strength and intention. If we’re relaxed, don’t sit so stiff and maybe get us to laugh. If you are asked thought provoking questions, take time to think about it and provide thought provoking answers. The more you work with us, the easy and more open a dialog becomes and the more personable the interview will become. It’s a great way to show flexibility and adaptation, and for the interviewers who did this well we found ourselves impressed.

If I’m offering you information, take it.

If I am telling you that I am a 4th year and I can answer your questions about rotations, classes, or student life I am literally giving you questions to ask me in the event you have forgotten all of yours. If faculty tells you which program they are a part of and what they specialize in they are opening that line of information for you. They are telling you were their interests and focuses are and you can run with that, if you like.

Please, please do your research.

We had an application who couldn’t tell us what they liked our school. Had no idea what the mission statement was or what the goals of the school were. Didn’t have a clue. I had to use my doctor face so I could stay neutral. It was bad. I get that you just want to be in medical school but come on. Point blank, there is no excuse for anyone to know nothing about the program they’re interviewing for. You should also have worked out answers for frequently asked questions. Getting stumped on classic medical school questions…it’s a big red flag. So please plan ahead and do your research.  

Pick the length of your answers carefully.

Different types of questions prompt different types of answers. There are a lot of questions that can prompt follow up questions. Hobbies for example; going into every detail about your hobbies is probably counterproductive. But that’s assuming you have a fair amount of things you like to do that aren’t medicine. You can add a snip here and there, like “I’ve done that for 15 years” or “it’s really a huge passion of mine” but if there is interest in hearing more, we’ll most likely ask. If you only have one thing, don’t think “I like running” is a good enough answer. Give us something to work with. There are questions, especially theoretical ones or tell me a story situations that are meant to be longer. And always keep in mind your time limit.

Be confident, not cocky.

There is a huge difference between smug and confident. We had one prospect who gave this shit-eating “gotcha” grin after every question they thought they had aced. It was almost like they were trying to directly challenging me. It got to the point that I stopped caring what they were saying and was just getting pissed. The answers could have been great (they weren’t) but all that stuck with me was the cockiness. Not sure if you do that unintentionally? That’s what practice interviews are for. There are very clear differences when someone was proud of an answer and were pleased, and what this individual was doing. And if you do act that way, personally, I don’t want you representing my school, regardless of what your application looks like.

I don’t care about the “right” answer. I care why.

I know there are certain questions answers that are kind of set in stone. And I know straying too far from say, an ethics question, is hard to do in a new and unique way. The way to make yourself stand out from the crowd is to explain the reasons why you believe this to be the “right” answers since those tend to differ among applicants and shows your critical thinking skills past “well obviously this is the right answer”. Aside from that most interviewers don’t have specific expectations for most questions. We’d rather just hear about you and your personal experiences, honestly.

We’re not always looking for your spoken answer.

Sometimes we’re looking at your body language. I will purposefully ask questions I know there are only a few answers too. Not because I want to know if you know it, but rather how you viscerally respond. Do you look uncomfortable when answering an ethics or grades question? Did you answer robotically? Are you still looking at me? Can you pick yourself back up after a rough question? What you do speaks just as loud as the things your saying and I’m looking for it.

Use your personality and responses to show you want to be here. Not your grades.

This was not an isolated event. I had a few prospective students speak about a class and sneak in “which I got an A in” and continue. Not really a fan of that. I naturally assume that everyone we interviewed had good enough grades and scores because, well, you’re at the interview. At this point in the process all I want if for you to shine beyond those things and prove to me that you can be a doctor on paper and in person.  

Make me feel connected to you.

In the end, I want to feel like I know who you are. I want to know what you stand for and I want to experience the person who wants to become a physician. I want to appreciate your story and how far you’ve come. We don’t need to become best friends, we don’t need to have similar thoughts or values or personalities. But I want to feel like we could understand each other now and in the future. Let me be excited about you and for you. Let me want you to be here so I can check accept.

I hope someone was able to get something useful from this because for all of you here dying to enter this crazy profession I want you to reach your goals. I really do, and I’m just doing all I can on the internet. Good luck to everyone on your interviews!