To Gravity Falls, From Piedmont: Chapter 27
Summary: It’s a long way until next summer. Until then, Dipper and Mabel share their daily antics and life problems with their lifelong friends and attentive great-uncles through an endless string of e-mails. Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all, and there’s no place Dipper and Mabel love more than Gravity Falls.
To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess)
From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)
Subject: School assignment
Remember a couple of days ago, when I asked you guys what you thought of me for a school report? Well, I’m asking again, only this time I want to know what your opinion is of Dipper! He’s asked all the guys but refuses to ask you girls, which is totally biased. Since he’s being a dork about it, I decided to ask on his behalf! So fire away!
Stretching her arms over her head as she watched her e-mail disappear into cyberspace, Mabel stood up from the computer chair. She ventured out of her bedroom and went into the living room, where Dipper had taken over the coffee table. He was currently reading through a notebook, brow furrowed in a mixture of amusement and frustration.
“What’s up, bro?”
“I can’t use these!” Dipper exclaimed, holding out the notebook for his sister to read.
Written in his handwriting was a collection of quotes from their friends. Mabel bit down on her bottom lip to keep her laughter from escaping, as they were mostly various synonyms for the word ‘nerd’. “I guess they weren’t taking it seriously?” she managed to say.
“Robbie and Gideon? Apparently not,” he grumbled, grabbing his phone and typing a text to the aforementioned males. “Soos and McGucket were really nice, but these two are just messing with me. How am I supposed to compile enough material for this assignment if they won’t cooperate?”
“You know they love you.”
“I’m tempted to argue that point,” returned Dipper, though he smiled. “What did they say about you?”
“Robbie said I was a suffocating ray of glittery sunshine and Gideon said I was an angel who did not deserve to walk amongst regular people.”
Dipper stared at her for a moment. “Well, at least Robbie said more than two words to you,” he said at last. “And we obviously know I’m not Gideon’s favourite.”
“Any input from Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford?”
Dipper shook his head. “No. Which is kind of surprising. I thought Grunkle Stan would be the first with some sort of smart comeback for this.”
“Darn. I didn’t hear back either.” Mabel lowered onto the end of the couch and rested her chin in her hands. “You think they’ll respond in time? I really wanted to include them in my report.”
“I’m sure they will,” assured Dipper. “They always respond whenever we text, they just might be tied up right now. Fighting some three-eyed monster or whatever. So what did Soos and McGucket say about you?”
“Soos said I was the nicest person he’s ever met,” Mabel smiled happily. “And McGucket said I was so sweet I give him cavities. How about you?”
“Soos said I was the best pterodactyl bro he could ask for and I’m super smart. McGucket said I was clever, kind and should have more confidence in my abilities.”
“We have great friends,” said Mabel contently.
“Well, the jury is still out on Gideon and Robbie,” joked Dipper. As the words left his mouth his phone trilled, indicating a new text in his inbox. He checked the message, lips quirking in amusement. “They decided to make an effort this time. Gideon says I’m annoyingly persistent and determined, but it’s admirable. Robbie’s surprised by how tough I can be, and respects how I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. He still thinks I’m a dork, but a cool dork.”
“What do the girls say about you?” asked Mabel innocently.
Dipper shot her a look. “You know I haven’t asked them, and I’m not going to ask them.”
“Why not? I asked all of our friends! What’s the big deal?”
“I don’t know, I just feel awkward about it! I’ve never asked a girl what they thought of me before, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to hear the answer.”
“You’re taking this too seriously,” said Mabel, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice.
“Story of my life. But I’m still not going to do it.” Dipper reached over to jab at her leg. “Stop pressing.”
Mabel let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine. I’m going to start on my report, then. Good thing it only has to be two pages, or you probably wouldn’t have enough material since you only asked half of your friends.”
Smirking, the girl skipped back to her bedroom, jumping into her computer chair and going for a quick spin before checking her e-mail notifications.
Mabel Pines: Remember a couple of days ago, when I asked you guys what you thought of me for a school report? Well, I’m asking again, only this time I want to know what your opinion is of Dipper! He’s asked all the guys but refuses to ask you girls, which is totally biased. Since he’s being a dork about it, I decided to ask on his behalf! So fire away!
Wendy Corduroy: I was wondering why I didn’t get a message from him. I know he can’t be worried about what I’m going to say because he asked Robbie for his opinion.
Grenda Gosling: Yeah, we’ll be nice!
Wendy Corduroy: With a healthy degree of sarcasm.
Candy Chiu: Dipper can be very silly.
Mabel Pines: Tell me about it. He’s never really had any girl friends before, so I guess he’s not really comfortable with hearing what girls might think of him, even if they are his close friends. I thought I’d help him out!
Pacifica Northwest: What exactly is the point of this assignment?
Mabel Pines: Well, first we have to write a page on how we view ourselves and how we think others view us. Then we have to talk to our friends and family and get their opinions to see how they view us. We write up another page and then we have to write a conclusion, comparing the two viewpoints and seeing how similar or different they are.
Wendy Corduroy: Dang. Wish my schoolwork was that easy.
Grenda Gosling: I think Dipper’s a great guy! He’s nice and he doesn’t act like a jerk to be cool and he’s still cool anyway.
Candy Chiu: He isn’t afraid to apologize when he is wrong and he means it. I know if I ever need his help he will give it to me. He’ll hang out with us and do girly things with us, even if he gets embarrassed over it sometimes he does it anyway. He’s not afraid to embrace his feminine side.
Wendy Corduroy: He’s thirteen and yet he’s already way more mature than ninety percent of the guys—and girls, for that matter—at my school. He can hold a meaningful conversation and he can just joke about the most ridiculous things. He’s not afraid to stand up for his friends and family and you can always count on him. He’s also a huge dork, but I love him for it. He’s my bro.
Mabel Pines: Thanks, guys! Dipper will be really happy when I tell him this. Pacifica, I know you have something to add!
Pacifica Northwest: No, not really.
Wendy Corduroy: What’d we say about the Ice Princess routine?
Pacifica Northwest: Ugh. Fine. Dipper’s okay. He helped me out with the whole ghost invasion incident even though he didn’t have to and I probably didn’t deserve it. He’s kinda funny. Doesn’t have much fashion sense, but that can be fixed. He’s got the backbone to tell people off. He’s nice, not fake nice but sincerely nice. But he can be a jerk sometimes which is good because it’s exhausting being around people who don’t know how to be snarky or mean. He can be way too uptight and serious. But all around, yeah, he’s a decent, cute guy.
Wendy Corduroy: …
Grenda Gosling: …
Candy Chiu: …
Mabel Pines: SQUEE
Pacifica Northwest: What?
Pacifica Northwest: NO COOL I MEANT TO SAY COOL
Wendy Corduroy: BUSTED
Candy Chiu: That is what we call a Freudian slip!
Grenda Gosling: I knew it! You like Dipper!
Mabel Pines: I CAN SET YOU UP ON DATE! I’LL BE YOUR MATCHMAKER!
Pacifica Northwest: GO AWAY. It was autocorrected, you dorks! It was supposed to say 'cool’ not 'cute’!“
Wendy Corduroy: I wish I lived closer so I could see how much you’re blushing on a scale of one to ten.
Grenda Gosling: There’s no autocorrect in the e-mail server’s instant messaging!
Pacifica Northwest: Look you got your stupid opinions. Can I go now?
Mabel Pines: Aw, come on, you totally have a crush on Dipper! Admit it!
Dipper Pines: …you think I’m cute?
Wendy Corduroy: Oh snap.
Grenda Gosling: How’d you get in this chat?!
Dipper Pines: Candy tagged me into here a little bit ago. I should have spoken up sooner but…
Pacifica Northwest: I’m leaving.
Pacifica Northwest: And I meant cool, not cute!
Candy Chiu: I think I am going to go find a hiding place. I suspect she is going to come hurt me. I may or may not talk to you later.
Grenda Gosling: Wait until I tell Marius this one!
Wendy Corduroy: This went down a path I was not expecting and I am not displeased by. See you dudes later. Oi, and Dipper, next time you have an assignment like this one you know you can ask me anything, right?
Dipper Pines: I know. I was being, as everyone is correct in saying, a dork. Thank you. You’re my bro, too.
Mabel Pines: …are you mad?
Mabel Pines: Dipper?
When her brother did not reply further, Mabel hesitantly rose from the computer chair and started back for the living room. She peeked around the entryway and found Dipper sitting where she had left him. He was staring blankly into space, a smile on his features and a blush on his cheeks. He seemed to be taking in the fact that Pacifica Northwest thought he was cute, and was currently no longer working.
Mabel ventured further into the room and cautiously poked his shoulder. When she didn’t get a reaction, she grinned and said, "I’ll come check on you in an hour.”
She returned to her bedroom and grabbed her notebook, deciding she better start on her own report. She was just finishing up the intro when her phone trilled in her pocket. “Hello?” she answered.
“Hey, pumpkin,” greeted Stan. “Sorry for not getting back to you right away. Hope you still got some space left in your assignment, because Ford and I have quite a bit to say. Is your brother around?”
“Um, yeah, but you might have to talk to him later, or I could relay everything you say.”
“Is everything okay?” spoke up Ford.
“Oh yeah, totally. It’s actually amazing. Matchmaker Mabel is back in business!”
To: Pacifica Northwest (GravityFallsPrincess); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Grenda Gosling (Hugsx0x0); Candy Chiu (SweetasSugar88); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)
From: Stanley Pines (StantheMan)
Subject: Autocorrect my butt
You’re not kidding anyone, Princess. Ask him out already. Just be sure to treat him right or we’ll have to have a talk.
See all messages in this thread (Expand)
Pacifica Northwest: Oh. My. Gosh.
Wendy Corduroy: Ha! You’re never living this one down, Pacifica.
Grenda Gosling: He ships it!
Candy Chiu: I think they would be cute together!
Stanford Pines: Leave her alone, Stanley.
Mabel Pines: Grunkle Stan I told you not to tell her I told you!
Pacifica Northwest: I hate you all. I’m disowning you. I never want to speak to you again.
Grenda Gosling: …are we still on for the sleepover this weekend?
Pacifica Northwest: Yes.
Pacifica Northwest: AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I MEANT TO SAY COOL.