also i miss being in a relationship

anonymous asked:

Just started talking to my ex after no contact for months. He did me really dirty. We were together for two years. I missed having him in my life and this was a ldr so we don't see each other but he wants me to visit him this summer. He knows where we stand and respects and has been respecting me since. But in my head I'm like damn I lowkey miss being with him but also remember the shit he did so I don't trust him one bit.

don’t let that devil back into your life. interacting with someone who did you wrong just bc you feel a softness towards them bc of the history or whatever is NOT WORTH IT, I PROMISE YOU. I tried to stay cool with one of my ex’s and for what? he was abusive towards the end of our relationship and I didn’t recognize how he was treating me as abuse until long after we were through all bc I felt so much for him, we had been together for 3 years. don’t blind yourself to how ugly a person treated you just bc you used to love them. wish them the best but I suggest not interacting/talking with them or following them anywhere and especially not going to visit him this summer. it seems harsh to just stop talking to someone especially if they’ve been acting “respectful” but idk I don’t buy it. just focus on yourself and try moving forward. you deserve so much more and so much better in your relationships, romantic or not. I understand why you miss him bc I was there. I know what you’re going through, and it’s because I understand that I’m telling you straight up to just cut that bitch off. you don’t owe him an explanation either. do you.

if you need to talk to me personally, then I’m here for you. I’m wishing you all my best and sending you strength to move forward. 💖

things i learned in 2016:

  • sometimes i’ll try my best in school and i’ll still fall short of my goals, but i’ll still survive because life goes on
  • what’s important is learning how to overcome fear of failure and perfectionism
  • rest is important, but so is knowing how to push myself enough that i can accomplish the goals i have for myself
  • taking care of myself is important, but so is being aware of how to improve myself so i can be happy with the person i am
  • being by myself and having quality Me time is important, but so is interacting with people who uplift me and add positivity and radiance into my life
  • i don’t have to drink if i don’t want to
  • nothing excuses behaviors that hurt other people
  • i don’t have to cut off my friendships from high school just because college is a time to Explore and Meet New People™ 
  • with that being said, i also shouldn’t cling onto past relationships just because they were once a thing. there’s a time to let go for almost everything, and relationships aren’t an exception
  • support systems are important
  • social media breaks are important
  • doing things that are fulfilling in life is important
  • helping other people is important
  • GETTING. ENOUGH. SLEEP. IS. IMPORTANT.
  • i missed reading books purely for the joy of it
  • the most ‘successful’ people in the world learn to let go of envy or jealousy, and learn + gain motivation/inspiration from those who are better than them
  • negative bias is real, but just its mere existence indicates that good things do happen in this world and i will learn how to appreciate that more in 2017, god damnit.
  • i need to rely more on internal and not external validation

Isn’t It Rich? Are We a Pair? - All-Broadway All-Musical Narumitsu Fanmix

LISTEN HERE ON PLAYMOSS

Hey everyone, I’ve started the process of reuploading my old fanmixes to Playmoss so that people can actually LISTEN to them ever since 8tracks started sucking. So the obvious choice for the first one is my pride and joy, my sappy romantic All-Broadway fanmix for Phoenix/Miles from Ace Attorney.

Fanmix cover art by mustachossom.

Tracklist and notes under the cut here.

Keep reading

sleepyhead

this was an anonymous request, hope you like it love!

Word Count: 1000+

Rating: PG

You couldn’t help but chuckle as you scrolled through your Instagram. 

“What’s funny?” Joe asked, looking down at you. You were on your back on the couch, your head on his lap, his fingers running through your hair. You passed your phone to him, showing him Caspar’s Instagram post with Maddie. 

“They’re so cute,” you said, reaching up to toy with the strings of Joe’s hoodie. 

“We’re cuter,” Joe smiled at you.

“I know,” was all you said, but Joe knew you well enough to read what you didn’t say. He took your hand, kissing the back of it gently. 

The two of you were a very open couple when it came to each other, but not when it came to the rest of the world. Joe wasn’t really one to share his personal life, and that included you. You understood it, of course. After seeing all the hate on Maddie’s profile, or any girl who could possibly have any connection with any of the boys for that matter, you didn’t have to question why Joe wanted to keep your relationship a secret. 

That didn’t mean it didn’t suck though. From no PDA in the vlogs to no social media posts, it was hard to keep up with sometimes. Joe was Joe, but Joe was also thatcherjoe, and not being a part of that side of his life was almost like missing a big part of him. Sometimes, you just wanted to post a cute picture of your boyfriend. All the thoughts made you feel selfish, so you never brought them up, but Joe saw right through you anyways.

“I wish we didn’t have to hide either,” he murmured to you. “I’d show you off to the whole world if I could.”

“You can you know. I’m sure I’ll develop a tough skin,” you replied.

“You shouldn’t have to.” His voice was sharp, and you tread carefully.

Keep reading

Mob Psycho 100 Fanfiction Masterpost

A guide to fanfic recs by genre, because I really needed a place to have all of these lists together. Still a work in progress, I need to add that sweet, sweet angst. No gross stuff (pedophilia*, incest*, rape*, ect). Read and enjoy! Please leave a comment or kudo on the fics you read! These are also all on AO3 for the most part, if there’s something I’m missing, please let me know!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you think Lena knows that Kara is Supergirl?

Hi Anon.

I hope you are doing well. Thank you for the question. 

Does Kara love potstickers? ;-)

Originally posted by nova-in-the-attic

I believe the answer to your question and the one I just posed would be a resounding ‘yes’. 

2.19 just further reinforced that Lena is wickedly smart. If she figured out Queen Rhea was an alien so quickly, I would think that she would be able to figure out that Kara is not of this Earth too. 

I mean Rhea tipped her off with the ‘gods’ comment and I think some of the schooling jargon. Lena then further confirmed her hunch with her alien detection device. This all occurred very, very quickly. 

Kara ‘I flew here on a bus’ Danvers has given Lena ample evidence for her to be a bit curious about her mild mannered reporter friend. 

Originally posted by dianahprince

Examples: 

-Kara’s very close friendship with Supergirl.

-Kara’s immediate defense of aliens + her reaction to the detection device.

-Um, Kara’s disguise? I know it’s comic lore and I certainly respect that, but Lena has been around both Kara and Supergirl a lot at this point…so maybe she’d at least notice a certain familiarity?

 -Kara seems to know a lot about particular situations that she probably shouldn’t know about. 

-Kara/Supergirl showing up after Lena has interacted with Kara/Supergirl. So, the balcony rescue or the Kryptonite-Explosion-Kara-Danvers-Believes-In-You event. They both seem to always be there for Lena at just the right time.

-The list goes on, so etc. 

Originally posted by flyingtothelesbianrainbow

Also, Lena has purposefully (imo) made some remarks or reactions that seem to indicate she knows of Kara’s double life. Most notably: 

Examples:

-”Well, that’s lucky!”…Seriously, her reaction was that of forced surprise. There have been many screen caps of her expression because most viewed it as comical because she has to know, given that reaction. 

-”What’s your kryponite?” ….I’m not sure if this needs an explanation. I believe Lena was messing with Kara about her Supergirl  identity when she asked this. 

- “ Supergirl may have saved me, but Kara Danvers, you are my hero”. Lena acknowledges both aspects of Kara with this line, but more importantly she states that Kara is her hero. I think she purposefully did that because she’s grateful to both, but knows that there is only one Kara, who’s also Supergirl.  

-The list goes on, so etc.

Both the comics and the show’s canon establishes that Lena Luthor is brilliant. She’s a genius. 

I believe that Lena Luthor is aware of Kara’s double identity. 

Why hasn’t Lena brought up the fact that Kara looks amazing in primary colors? 

Because Lena Luthor is very understanding and supportive of Kara Danvers. 

This character trait is supported by: 

Examples:

-Early on in their relationship, Lena aids Kara by giving her information on Roulette because Kara asked for help.

 -Lena not being angry that Kara missed their kombucha date, rather she visited Kara at CatCo to make sure she was okay. 

-Lena inquiring about Kara’s well-being when she notices Kara’s failed attempts at ‘grief baking’

-The series of phone calls in 2.19. Lena could tell Kara was upset just by her voice and later called her again to check on her. Also, scored herself another date.

-the list goes on, so etc. Lena is really amazing, okay? 

So, why hasn’t Lena confronted Kara about Supergirl? 

Originally posted by lexaheda39

Because she’s respecting Kara by letting her tell her when she’s ready.

A Way to You Again: Part 3

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Language, Excessive Drinking

Word Count: 1538

Part One | Part Two

Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Author’s Notes: Ugh. The feels! Also - Bar Harbor is a real town in Maine that I am obsessed with/want to visit terribly! Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for the request.

Tags are at the bottom. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged/removed. Hopefully I didn’t miss anyone!

Originally posted by adoringemiliaclarke

Originally posted by adamisstillinhellthankstoyou

Waking up so early ended up being an advantage for me. It usually took over eight hours for me to get from New York City to Bar Harbor. It was a cozy coastal town that I had always found magical with its whimsical shops and beautiful scenery. My family spent most of our summer vacations in the little town when I was younger. During times of distress I somehow always came running back. The cottage itself was small, plain, and old, but to me it had always been perfect. It was nestled on the outskirts of town overlooking the ocean. It was home, and I felt the relief of my sudden return as I pulled onto the beaten gravel driveway.

As I gathered my things from the car I reached out to grab my phone. I had forgotten to turn it off or maybe I had left it on intentionally… I really didn’t know. I looked at the screen – no messages. Part of me felt slightly disappointed, but I highly doubted Tony had had the chance to rat me out since Steve and Bucky were most likely still on their mission. I sighed sadly as I pressed the power button until the screen went blank. If I was going to figure this out without any interference, I needed it off. There was of course the alternative – that I had already figured everything out on the journey here and that maybe I needed to walk away from it all. The thought made my heart sink. No – I wouldn’t go there yet. First I needed rest and copious amounts of alcohol.

I made my way up the uneven path to the house as I lugged all of my bags with me. I struggled with the lock on the door – swearing under my breath as I jiggled my key until I was finally able to open the door. I dropped my bags at the door and stretched wearily. I wasn’t worried about anything other than getting a drink and sleeping. The long drive had left me stiff and exhausted. I was worried that the main source of my exhaustion was the creeping sadness that I was trying to keep at bay. I knew I needed to think about what had happened the night before and what I had discovered this morning, but it was too new – too raw for me to process rationally. I ran my hand down my face as I wearily stumbled into the small kitchen. I opened the cabinet where my dad had kept his collection of odd coffee mugs from our various trips and reached towards the back – sighing with relief as I procured the bottle of whiskey that I had hidden for myself. I took the bottle with me as I made my way to one of the tiny bedrooms on the other side of the cottage. Luckily – since I paid for someone to maintain the cottage while I was away – it looked just as I had left it before joining the Avengers. I plopped myself onto the bed and snuggled my way under the blankets before unscrewing the cap of the bottle and taking a swig.

I was finding it impossible to not think about Bucky, and the night before. The feeling of his lips against my skin. How he laughed breathlessly as he teased me relentlessly. The way he had looked at me… like he had never wanted something so much in his life. The way he told me I was beautiful – the words dripping with admiration. I sighed to myself before taking several more swigs from the bottle. Of course all of these memories were tinged with self-doubt and a feeling of betrayal because of Nat’s revelation. Had he said the same things to her? Had he looked at her the same way? Did he still feel something for her – was that why he hadn’t been overly keen on being open about us with the others? Each thought called for a few more drinks. The stinging sensation of the alcohol as it made its way down my throat was much more preferable than the heartache I was currently feeling. I kept drinking until I drifted to sleep. Unfortunately, my mind seemed set on not letting me have a moment’s reprieve from my self-imposed misery.


My dream seemed to be a video montage of Bucky and I’s greatest hits. While the memories swirled into a blur the dream centered around the first time Bucky and I had spent the night alone together in Stark tower. It had been a month since Bucky had kissed me for the first time, and I was ecstatic to have time alone with him without the threat of someone accidentally interrupting. Bucky seemed to be absolutely bursting with nervous energy as the others prepared to leave for a weekend mission. Steve had been the first to notice after Bucky had accidentally tripped on a rug, as he was pacing in the common room, causing a slew of profanity to spill from his mouth while I tried to muffle my laughter.

“You…eh…you okay there, Buck? You seem nervous…” Steve had asked uneasily.

“No… no I am fine. Don’t worry about it, Steve,” Bucky was just a little too adamant with his response which made Steve chuckle under his breath.

“Suit yourself,” Steve replied. “We’ll see you guys next week,” he called as the others entered the elevator. Tony was still demanding that we didn’t trash the place in his absence as the elevator doors closed.

“Finally!” Bucky exclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air dramatically.

“Are you… are you okay?” I asked through giggles. He answered my question with his famous lopsided grin. The one that made me feel like I could have my way with him then and there – consequences be damned. “What’s gotten into you?” His behavior wasn’t very Bucky-like.

“Never mind that! You stay in here… you are banned from the kitchen until further notice. Promise you won’t come in?” he asked sincerely.

I chuckled at this remark. “Um Bucky… I’m pretty sure Tony banned me from the kitchen after the first meal I attempted to make for everyone,” I grinned at him sheepishly as I remembered the whole cooking fiasco. In my defense I had told them I was a terrible cook.

Bucky laughed at that. “Okay… Just wait out here and I will come and get you in a little while… promise?” he asked sweetly.

“Cross my heart,” I smiled back. He left the room beaming as I turned my attention back to my book.

A few hours passed – Bucky would occasionally pop out of the kitchen to see what I was doing and then eventually make his was back to continue his secret operations. Finally, he came out of the kitchen with a giant grin plastered on his face. I smiled back at him – his smiles were always contagious.

“If you will follow me, please,” he said formally as he offered his arm to me. I giggled at him and stood up from the couch, hooking my arm in his. As we entered the dining room I gasped. Bucky had prepared an entire meal – homemade fettuccine,  breadsticks made from scratch, and a fresh salad all covered the table. He seated me at the table and poured both of us a glass of wine. I smiled at him sweetly as he handed me mine, before taking his place across the table from me.

“So he cooks?” I raised an eyebrow playfully as I brought the glass to my lips.

He chuckled. “Doll, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me. I just wanted to do something for you. It’s the first time we’ve been able to just walk around this tower and act the way we actually want to…. And do whatever it is that we’re thinking,” he grinned slyly at me as he paused.

“What is it that you’re actually thinking?” I asked coyly.

“Of doing this,” he whispered as he leaned over the table to kiss me. It was sweet but urgent, and he pulled away too soon. “Consider this our first official date,” he added as he winked at me playfully.

I couldn’t help but smile. It was one the kindest things anyone had done for me in a very long time. “Bucky…. Thank you,” I whispered shyly across the table.

“Well don’t thank me until after you’ve tried it,” he laughed.


I woke up with a start. For a moment I was happy, but the moment gave way to bitterness as my brain reasoned with itself – it had just been a dream. A flashback to happier days. That night had been the first night that Bucky had told me I was beautiful. It was also the first night that he truly began to open up to me about his struggles with his past. Ever since then we had harbored a deeper connection between each other. Tears fell bitterly from my eyes as the bed shifted from the weight of someone else laying beside me.

I turned over slowly and let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you for coming,” I whispered before falling to pieces.


Tags: (A few tags wouldn’t work – sorry!)

@bless-my-demons @lillian-paige @pleasefixthepain @nikkitia7 @kittthekat @ailynalonso15 @themistsofmyavalon @coffeeismylife28 @melconnor2007 @harleyqueen7 @sebbys-girl @marvel-lucy @lbouvet @totallygroovyllama @stickthinbarbie @avengers-bucky-fanfic @buckybarnesbestbabe @irepeldirt @glitterintheairblog @mizzzpink @barnesandnoble13 @themercurialmadhatter @bringmetheemobands @theloveablesociopath @selfdestructivefangirl @bellenuit45 @moncun @smkunz613 @ephemeral-high @the-craziestone @zxcorra @awinterloveuniverse @thefandomplace @hellomissmabel @imamoose @dont-let-me-go-again @barnes-and-noble-girl @hollycornish @amrita31199 @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @skeletoresinthebasement @iron-winter @mikaelarhead @shliic @queenllamamama13 @jasmins3 @caitsymichelle13

anonymous asked:

hi! uh so I kind of want to read some historical romances but I have NO idea where to start, so could you recommend me some of your favorites?

Well hello friend you made my day with this, 

and you also made my romance co-blogger bestie @cammiemorgan​ happy with this because to say that Eri and I love historical romance would be an understatement but 

ANYWAY, here’s a list (in no particular order because I don’t rate my faves it’s too hard) (links in bold):

1. Sarah MacLean

  • Nine Rules to Break While Romancing a Rake (Love by Numbers #1) - this is my first MacLean book and I love it so much because Callie is so relatable I love her. also, the whole story is so much fun because Callie’s like fuck the society and starts masquerading as a man and do fun stuff like going to gentlemen’s clubs and fencing


2. Tessa Dare

  • Any Duchess Will Do (Spindle Cove #4) - hero duke with a meddling mother who’d love nothing but to see him settled down, issues a challenge: if ma manages to turn heroine barmaid into proper duchess material, he’d marry. MY FAVE. actually the whole series is one of my faves but THIS BOOK. MY BABY PAULINE TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD, TOO PURE. ONLY WANTS TO OPEN A LIBRARY. also kinky sex. I just have to put it in there.
  • When a Scot Ties the Knot (Castles Ever After #3) - oh MY GOOOOOD IMAGINE WRITING IMAGINARY LOVE LETTERS TO YOUR IMAGINARY LOVER WHO WAS AT WAR TO PUT YOUR MEDDLING FAMILY AT BAY WITH THE MARRIAGE TALK, KILL OFF SAID IMAGINARY LOVER, AND YEARS LATER HAVING HIM APPEARING ON YOUR DOORSTEP DEMANDING YOUR PROMISES I WOULD DI-


3. Julia Quinn

  • Because of Miss Bridgerton (Rokesbys #1) - prequel to the Bridgerton series. longtime childhood friends/nemeses/neighbours suddenly having not-so-nemeses-y feelings for each other. much fun. also the second book is coming out soon so GET ON THIS ONE


4. Lisa Kleypas

  • Devil in Winter (Wallflowers #3) - The Wallflowers series is my first LK and I love them so much I’d still rec the whole series but THIS ONE IS MY ULTIMATE FAVOURITE (it needs all caps I’m not sorry). READ IT FOR SEBASTIAN ST VINCENT THE NOTORIOUS RAKE AND EVIE JENNER THE SHY WALLFLOWER WHO BROUGHT HIM TO HIS KNEES (in both ways)
  • Devil in Spring (The Ravenels #3) - newly released. it’s about Sebastian and Evie’s son Gabriel, the new Lord St Vincent who’s got the best of both worlds: his father’s looks and his mother’s temperament, and basically just wonderful. and Pandora Ravenel is not your typical hist-rom heroine. 


4. Courtney Milan

READ HER ENTIRE WORK. GO FOR IT. NO QUESTIONS-

but if you want some place to start then Unraveled (Turner #3) is my ultimate favourite, I say this very calmly. and I can’t pick my fav among the Brothers Sinister series because they’re all my children I love them equally-


Eri also would like to mention Bitter Spirits by Jen Bennett which is set in the 20s San Francisco, and Wicked Intentions by Elizabeth Hoyt for the dirty smut lmao


we didn’t go overboard at all with this, did we, Eri

WTF Is Going On In This Fandom: Camren, Epic, Jauregui Family, Social Media Rant/Theory

If you peeped the reblog I just posted from @backstage-meg this won’t seem like it’s coming out of left field. I doubt they (5H, Mila, their families and friends etc) are at liberty to truly discuss what has gone on behind the scenes so we are left with inuendo and scarce clues to try and piece together some semblance of an explanation for what has gone on over the last few months/year…I’ve learned not to trust anything that is being blatantly thrown in our faces. Hence Laucy, 5H drama between the girls, the families shading each other on sm, all this epic/syco label BS. None of them are saying or doing what hasn’t been scripted for them to say or do. Now of course I don’t mean literally scripted but more like dictated instead. I do believe all the girls have private AND public sm ACCTS…except for their twitters because there is really no point. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they have secondary Instagram accounts📱💻. And we already know they all have private snapchats. We are focused on the wrong things. Mike liking and unliking a tweet, Lauren following and unfollowing Mila, Candece Campbell’s radom tweet about Instagram messing up her followers at the same time Lauren was having her “follow debacle” happen, was like a whistle blow to pay attention to the details. Laucy was brought out and shoved down our throats while Camren has been denied and destroyed by mgmt, the label and even the girls themselves. Dinah’s last message to Mila “no matter what they say. No matter what you do…” 👀🐸🍵Come on Dinah was warning us just days before that shit was about to hit the fan and that we should know better than to just believe what we hear and see in the media. It’s all sensationalized. Mila saying she hasn’t seen or interacted with the girls since leaving (even though they all admitted to lying during interviews) was hard for me to believe, even with the current narrative💅. You don’t just sever nearly 5 years of a bond. No matter how tight things got in the end. It was always designed for mila to be the break out star💃 (or at least the first one) hell Demi called it years ago while they were still on x-factor. Now I know people and situations can change. Egos can grow and resentment can start to fester. But I also know enough to know that egos don’t destroy groups bad business practices do. All artists have major egos although some have learned to tame the beast. Your ego doesn’t make you a bad person your actions do. And honestly if the original members of Destiny’s Child can get over being robbed financially💲💰💵 and rekindling their relationship with Beyonce and Michelle and New Edition can welcome Bobby Brown’s crazy ass back in the fold and the Spice Girls can get over themselves to deliver a crazy performance at the 2012 Olympics then hell anything is possible.😮🙌 And I doubt Mila missing meetings would be the final straw to break the camel’s back. She received her gold plaque the same night she left/was kicked out of the group. And we all know there is no such thing as a coincidence when Camren is involved. I know this is long winded. But I had to speak my peace as I watch this fandom panic yet again over this staged bullshit. You’d think by now we could smell it before we see it…😂😂 I said all that to say, trust and believe all contingency plans have been put in place and if you hear the girls saying something especially in a well known publication or media platform📺🎤💻📰 understand those words passed through a dozen mouths before it left theirs. And anyone affiliated with them can’t take a shit around the girls without getting permission to use the toilet and signing their name on the tissue paper. And those who can’t be controlled will be removed. Probably why the laucy interactions have dialed down. Oh and don’t forget it was just in December that Lucy liked Camila’s tweet about the BT video and “bringing the characters to life” and then a couple days later she randomly unfollowed her ….really😒? And the Jauregui siblings pretty much unfollowed around the time she left too…smh. In the right light🔦 it looks like the story makes sense and is on the up and up. But start pulling at the loose strands and details of this narrative and you’ll see how quickly all this shit unravels. And on that note I’m done! This was just a flow of thoughts …So it may make sense. It may make me look crazy, but I’m willing to risk the credibility of my sanity for the sake of voicing my opinion and getting these thoughts down on paper. 📝Speaking figuratively of course. Love you Munchkins.😘

Dean Munch🎓

(Nikki)
RFA + MC: Panic Attacks

This also wasn’t requested. But I would like to point out that I struggle greatly with anxiety, panic attacks and low self esteem. That being said, everyone experiences anxiety differently. The accounts described are how I deal with them.

  • Yoosung

- It’s a shame. Rika wouldn’t do something like that
- If only Rika was here with us still, I miss her

- You and Yoosung were in a relationship for the past year and it was slowly blossoming. You two loved each other a lot and often told each other how you felt or if something was bothering you. You two vowed to be there for each other after all.
- Yet at times, you always felt that he still held Rika closer to him than you. Which was fine, Rika was like family to Yoosung. Her death was very traumatic for him, seeing that it was his first time coping with grief. You understood that much and were fine with that part.
- Yet you always felt at competition against her. And she wasn’t even alive anymore…
- He doesn’t love me
- He doesn’t appreciate me…
- I’m not doing enough for this party
- After all, I’m not Rika…

- Thoughts played on a loop. Your chest started to tighten and you awoke with a gasp. It was the middle of the summer and you were wearing your vest and shorts, yet your body was drenched in a layer of sweat. You started to lose sensation in your hands and feed and your breathing became faster and laboured.
- Tears streamed down your face as you croaked to Yoosung for help, unable to speak. You patted for him desperately.
- “MC..? It’s the middle of the night…” he said, groggily. He leaned over and turned on the lamp, wincing at the sudden brightness. He leaned over and froze when he saw you in your panicked state. He knew you got panic attacks regularly and he was there all the time for them, but he never knew the reason. “MC…”
- He never knew that you felt that you were being compared to Rika, and in turn, started to compared yourself to Rika.
- He pulled you close to him and tried to get through to you. “Shh, everything’s fine. You’re okay, it’s only panic. I want you to take deep breaths with me, okay?”
- You began to follow him and he rubbed your back up and down. He looked up to you so much yet you suffered with these debilitating attacks. Once you calmed down he asked what was on your mind. The stress of the party, feeling totally inadequate and comparing yourself to Rika, everything.
- He kissed your forehead and pulled you towards his chest now.
- “You’re so silly. Is that what triggered this? MC, love, there is no need go compare yourself to Rika and I’m sorry I come across as if I do that. I’ll change. But you’re you. Give yourself some credit. This is your second  party, give yourself some credit. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  • Zen:

- There he was, looking as dazzling as ever. He was where he belonged on stage. He was so gifted and handsome and chivalrous.
- It was so packed and hot and you couldn’t hear yourself think. Or breathe. You felt really unwell.
- The intermission was approaching. Good, I have survived an hour, I can do one more and then Zen will be finished and we can go home, you told yourself.
- But you now had to deal with Zen’s fans outside. The majority of his fans were lovely and they were happy with the two of you being in a relationship and later married. You neglected to tell Zen this, but some of them had been targeting you on social media platforms. This wasn’t the root source of your issues with a anxiety and panic, but it’s undeniably true that it has been making your anxiety worse.
- “Oh look, it’s MC.”
- “I wonder what she did to become Zen’s wife.”
- “Oh, you mean it’s not obvious yet? Look at her!” The insults came one after the other.
- And you ran. You couldn’t take it, those comments tipped it over the edge. You ran backstage, despite what security said. You called out for your husband, your panic attack reducing you to the floor.
- “Miss, are you okay?” A backstage worker asked
- You shook your head, trying to catch your breath, but failing. You grasped at the air before you, croaking for Zen again. And thankfully, he spotted you and ran over to you.
- “Oh, mc, hey, hey… are you okay?” Your chest screamed for oxygen but you shook your head. He pulled you towards his chest for a few moments.
- “That’s okay, let it out. You’ve done well to last this long, okay?”
- He lifted you up and took you into the restroom. Zen always kept one of your beta-blockers with him, as well as a bottle of water. He gently pressed a tablet against your lips and opened up the bottle of water. You took a drink and you chest slowly began to loosen.
- He informed the director he had to leave to tend to some personal issues of his own and have his understudy take over, against the director’s and your own wishes. But he insisted. He needed to make you feel happy.
- He drove you home, removed your clothes drenched in sweat and gave you some looser clothes. He pulled back the covers and wrapped his arms around you, whispering sweet nothings until you relaxed and fell asleep in his arms.

  • Jaehee:

- Jaehee knew that you suffered from GAD and panic attacks. You had been for years now and it took a while, but you have come to grips with it for the most part that you were just an anxious person. It took time, but you gradually began to get your life back.
- However, you still had bad days and today was one of those days.
- Maybe it was the heat or because the cafe was packed today. But you couldn’t concentrate and usually that was a sign that a panic attack could overtake you. Everything seemed ‘fuzzy’, as if you were having an outer body experience.
- Jaehee called you over to serve two customers. It took you a few moments to register her request, but you walked over and took the tray to the table.
- Jaehee noted that you looked very pale, as did the customers at the table. You were now shaking and your chest tightened.
- “Are you okay?” They asked.
- You didn’t answer as you ran into the supply room, Jaehee coming in a few minutes later.
- Needless to say, you were a mess. You were hyperventilating, tears leaving tracks down your face, shaking. The familiar feeling of dread lingering in the back of your mind. You needed to get out, you needed to–!
- “Mc.” Jaehee said, kneeling down on the ground before you. She had your sweaty, clammy hands in hers. “Remember, you’re okay.” You began to whimper again and she brought a tissue to wipe your face. “Shh, shh. You’re okay, you’re okay.”
- She placed a glass of water up to your lips, encouraging you to take a drink.
- “Take as long as you need. I hunted everyone out, saying we were taking a break for an hour for lunch or something. You know, maybe that’s what you need. But for now, sit here, compose yourself, and I’ll be out in the kitchen and we can talk then, yeah?”

  • Jumin:

- “Dear, you look unwell, are you okay?”
- You nodded your head, but you could feel the butterflies in your stomach. The tingling sensations spread down your legs and arms. Jumin took a hold of your hand, squeezed it as a way of saying, “It’ll be okay.”
- And he was right. It was proven that a panic attack can, generally, last only ten minutes. But those ten minutes were utterly horrifying and the panic attack could easily come back.
- Currently, Jumin, you and his employees were in a meeting about business related crap, you honestly couldn’t pay attention at this stage. And then, an employee asked you to speak.
- No, no, please, you said to yourself.
- You stood up and slowly walked over towards the whiteboard that had various diagrams on it. You had a sheet of paper in your hands of the points you wanted to make. You then felt the employees’ eyes piercing into your very soul.
- You blinked away the tears, trying to compose yourself. Your chest was so tight and there was a sharp pain there too. The room began to spin. Thankfully, Jumin came to your rescue by saying, “let’s take a ten minute break.”
- You dropped the documents in your hands in a hurry and ran out of the conference room. Jumin came out and he held your hand as he took you to his office. You burst into tears as soon as he shut the doors to his office. He sat you down in his office chair as he kneeled down. Tears dripped down, landing on your pencil skirt. Jumin had his hand in yours and was rubbing circles into your palms.
- “It’s okay. Just follow my breathing. Just concentrate on your breath coming in-” he paused to inhale, “-and out.” And exhaled.
- You shook your head, hyperventilating still. You looked into those familiar eyes of liquid mercury, a comforting glaze in his look. You told him you can’t but he was there to shake away those thoughts.
- “You can, you absolutely can. Keep your eyes on me and focus on your breath,” he cooed, his voice turning to a whisper. “I am not going anywhere. I know you can do it.”
- In, out
- In, out
- You kept your gaze locked on his hypnotic eyes. He was there every step of the way. A warmth filled your heart and he gently pressed his lips to yours.

Saeyoung:

- “I don’t care about your feelings, alright?!”
- “Don’t be nice to me if you don’t know anything..
.”
- “Keep your distance.”
- You had been nothing but kind and patient towards Saeyoung. You tried to be understanding, but he kept pushing you away. You tried to get through to him, but he wouldn’t have any of it. Today he reached his limits, and he snapped at you. And it was much harsher than normal.
- You slid down the edge of the island unit in Rika’s apartment. You buried your head between your hands and shook.
- You felt so stupid. I am such an idiot, he doesn’t like me at all… I just keep annoying him. Oh god, I must have gone overboard this time, you said to yourself.
- But you tried your best to help him; you gave him space, left him food, etc.
- Your chest grew tighter and tighter until you couldn’t breathe. You gasped in heavy strokes, trying to remain as quiet as possibly so that you wouldn’t disturb Saeyoung. You clamped a hand over your mouth, which echoed with a slap. Saeyoung must have heard it. He ran out and saw you in this state and. His heart split into two pieces.
- Oh god, are they okay?!
- He crouched down, shook them and took a hold of your hands. “Mc, mc… hey, mc! Can you hear me?”
- You responded with choked whimpers and laboured breaths. He sat down beside you, squeezing your hands.
- “You…” you whimpered, “you’re so mean to me… I am trying to understand you, but you’re so cruel to me…”
- I caused this… I caused them to panic like this, he said to himself, bringing you to his chest.
- “I am sorry, I am so sorry, Mc. I am doing this for your own good. I’m dangerous and you can’t get close to–”
- “I don’t care!! I don’t care that you’re dangerous. It makes no difference, because I love you… a-and you keep pushing me away!” you wailed. “But it just fucking hurts!” You choked. Your breathing quickened and the room started to spin and Saeyoung cupped your tear-streaked cheeks.
- Everything she said was a stab to the chest.
- “It’s like you don’t care… but I know you do, I know it!”
- “Deep breaths, Mc. Try to calm yourself before we talk about this…”
- He sat with you, taking deep breaths. There was bomb in this apartment, but this was more important. You were upset and he was partially to blame. As you stopped crying, he rubbed your back. He tried to explain his feelings to you.
- “I am sorry, mc… I am sorry I said those things. But… I do feel the same way. I just don’t want to hurt you… I want to cherish you. But look at what I have done to you… I will not yell at you anymore. All I ask is that you wait for me to deal with this bomb crap and we’ll talk more about this then.”
- You nodded.
- He guided to your bed and suggested to taking a nap. He left a drink of water in your bedside locker and stayed with you until you fell asleep.

rainbow-sunshine-unicorn  asked:

Hi, I really really love your fic recs 😘, so can you rec me some really long fics please

Hiyya! I’ve actually already done a 75k+ Drarry rec (can be found right here) so this time I’m going to just be listing stories that are 100k or more (that’s considered long, right?)

  • Starts With a Spin - by Maxine (120k)
    It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there’s almost no way out again. Except to keep playing. 
    (This was so incredibly hot! Fall in love with Pansy and Hermione as they team up and organise weekly 6th year party games to promote house unity! Watch as Draco and Harry are dared to do scandalous things together ;) And just enjoy reading about teenagers being typical teenagers) 

  • The Printed Press - by Soupy_George (119K)
    Draco Malfoy was still slightly amazed that he was standing on the doorstep of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He never would have thought that Harry Potter’s very public and very … sweary, emotional explosion would have led to him offering Draco, of all people, a job. 
    (A wonderful fanfic to read! Journalist!Draco was such an intriguing job idea, I loved the concept! Harry and Draco were the absolute sweetest together <3 And it was amazing to watch them talk about the war and all of their past issues and just leave it behind them. Brilliant!)

  • Big Dick, Come Quick - by Calanthe (193k)
    Draco’s got a theory. About sex. And after much searching for the right candidate, it appears that only Harry Potter, his life long enemy, can help him test it out. 
    (Many people believe that this is just 193k words of PWP - but the story is waaaay more than that! No, I’m not going to lie and tell you there’s no smut because lol, even the title shows the reader how much sex there’s going to be. But honestly, it’s a story about self-discovery, the love between Draco and Harry, and their relationship. Narcissa and Blaise are total BAMF’s as well)

  • There’s a Pure-Blood Custom For That - by Lomonaaeren (105k)
    The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?
    (This was just beautiful. All of the characters in the story were so in-character and realistic and they were all just so honest. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Draco and Harry’s relationship build and grow from the beginning - slow-burn is the best. If you’re interested, Lomonaaeren also has more long fics up on her account and they’re all very good!)

  • All Life is Yours to Miss - by Saras_Girl (114k)
    Professor Malfoy’s world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.
    (Okay, I totally fell head over heels for Draco in this story. Harry and Draco are both professors at Hogwarts. Draco accidently petrifies Harry for the better part of two-thirds of the story, so he has to take over Harry’s classes and responsibilities. It’s a very Draco-centric story and really, it’s a journey of self-discovery for Draco. It was lovely to get to know this side of him, the side that nobody else sees. Oh my god! Okay wait I almost forgot to mention Stanley, who is Draco’s beetle pet and is the most adorable critter ever!)

Notes:

  • Sorted in alphabetical order by ship, then by title
  • Ratings: G - general, T - teen, M - mature, E - explicit, NR - not rated
  • See ‘read also’ at the end of selected recs for more fic recs by the same author
  • This is always being updated - please share with me your favourites!
  • Most importantly, be supportive: leave kudos and comments everywhere you can!

BOKUAKA [Bokuto/Akaashi]

Among Us (verse, M) by dgalerab - I will personally advocate for this fic series until I die - I didn’t think I’d even like an X-Men AU but the dynamic and characterisation and character development and drama is just? too good to ever put down?? Whenever I share it with other people I advise them to read at least the first three chapters before passing judgement and I don’t yet think anyone has actually turned away from it after doing so. read also: e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g by dgalerab, starting with Notes: Bokuto Koutarou (G)

arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to (oneshot, G) by earlgrey_milktea - Character study and the consequence of familial expectations. Hooo boy, this was the first BokuAka fic I ever read and it still hits hard. So, so well done.

better than spy films (oneshot, G) by dalyeau - Akaashi is Kuroo’s new roommate and Bokuto falls in love. …Yes I know it’s not much of a rec when all of dalyau’s fics are some of the most popular BokuAka fics on AO3 but~ they’re exactly that for a reason and I’ll forevermore adore the heck out of them. read also: love in the time of wifi (G), tea-stained polaroids (G)

bitter (twoshot, G) by silvercistern - Valentines/White Day fic. The fact that these two chapters were posted on the corresponding days make them all the more sweeter– or… not sweeter? Good bitter? (And yes, the countdown to White Day was agonising purely because I couldn’t wait for this update and it was so, so worth it.) A headcanon I could 100% believe in Akaashi and, of course, no-one would pick up on something like that faster than Bokuto Koutarou. Super quirky, completely adorable. read also: Character Development (T)

full hearts and flower emojis (multi, G) by lagatos - Akaashi discovers that his garden has a serial flower thief every morning. Featuring my favourite trope - KuroAka being best friends and roommates - and dialogue that had me smiling for daaaaays. I can’t even do it justice in words but, if you’re craving something light and cute as heck, this is your fic.

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ugh it's a post about that stupid slave bikini

I have heard so many jokes about Han’s reaction to that outfit and Leia hanging on to it for ‘private performances’ or something like that. Ha ha, very funny. Except ew, no, that’s gross.

Because that outfit is not some sexy lingerie that Leia can happily don in the context of her healthy romantic relationship with Han Solo.

That outfit is the very means of her sexual subjugation by Jabba the Hutt. It is, canonically, in-universe, an instrument of sexual slavery. And given that Leia’s response to being subjugated in this way was to strangle the everliving fuck out of the bastard who made her wear that thing, I kind of doubt she’d ever be eager to put it back on.

Let’s also not forget that, canonically, Han Solo never saw her wear it. He was literally blind the entire time. In case it wasn’t clear enough that Leia wearing that outfit has fuck all to do with Han Solo and any consensual sexual relationship she may have with him.

So by extension, fanboys everywhere drooling over “Slave Leia” are seriously missing the point if they’re imagining themselves in Han’s place. Because lusting after a woman who has been forcibly sexually subjugated does not make you anything like Han Solo. It makes you Jabba the Hutt.

And Jabba is fucking disgusting.

Seriously.

You think it’s a coincidence that this slave-owning crime lord who keeps women on actual chains and humiliates them for his own entertainment and then subjects them to a brutal death when he gets bored with them is portrayed as a literal giant slimy slug? Or maybe the message is that doing things like that is revolting.

Don’t be Jabba. Don’t encourage others to be Jabba. Do not tolerate it when someone you know is Jabba. Find your inner Jabba and strangle the everliving fuck out of him, and help your friends do the same.

Then take a closer look at how Han Solo really acts towards Princess Leia in that movie, and try your damn best to be Han Solo.

You know someone is damaged when they get nervous with every little thing they say or do. They apologize a lot, and continuously check up and see if they’re not doing anything wrong. They’re very cautious of everything they say or do to their significant other. It sucks, but please handle them with care. Their intentions are pure. Make them feel comfortable and remind them you love them or how happy them make you. You love them? Push them to regain their confidence in a relationship. They could be the most confident person but when it comes to being in a relationship, they need that reassurance that they’re not as bad as they feel. That they don’t do everything wrong. It’ll help your relationship so much as well as help build them.

STELENA, BAMON AND KLAROLINE - OTPS

I honestly don’t know what to do with my life anymore im so bitter and sad Not only cuz delena and steroline are most likely endgame but just by what the show has become.

 It was so good in earlier seasons and had so much potential but then it just suddenly stopped progressing, storylines made no sense, characters stopped developing or lacked common sense. Characters somehow also forgot everything they believed in in earlier seasons and just changed into something they are not. 

Honesty if your not gonna give me a stelena, bamon and klaroline endgame then make the real endgames (delena, steroline ) actually make sense. 

It honestly baffles me how this show, shows you everything wrong with a couple (abusive, 

Originally posted by theeskyisthelimit

controlling,

 co dependent,

He legit killed her brother cuz she rejected him. 

 toxic, 

I mean he literally said the words

I miss when elena wasn’t soley driving on lust for Damon i missed when she was strong and told him what he had to hear.

And their excuse for being such a terrible relationship that does not grow and fluorish is….

(Tbh the delena fandom hypes this scene up way too much, they basically list off all the reasons why they suck as a relationship then just say “But that’s okay cuz a real relationship is where you accept all your significant others psychopathic tendencies and just learn to live with them” *Note the sarcasm*    shall i continue?) 

It’s just funny how they just somehow want you to accept that it’s true love because the couple somehow can ignore all these bad things about each other cuz ‘THEY ARE SO IN LOVE’ (Like is this TVD or the new Twilight?) 

and then you see the beautiful Stelena and Bamon scenes where bonnie doesn’t just accept Damon being a murdering psychopath and doesn’t make excuses for him but rather points out the things he does wrong and shows him how they are wrong. 

and Stefan is inspired by Elena to be a good person and hold onto his humanity, not because he feels he has to in order  “To keep the girl” But because he respects her enough to. And he doesn’t go on murdering sprees after every fight they have.

Cue the OTPS

and can we talk about this for a sec…

He actually WANTS to be good with Bonnie. Rather than feeling obligated to with Elena.

And he wants Bonnie to be happy even if he isn’t there to share her happiness with her. Unlike Delena where damon does not like a version of Elena that’s not crazy about him.

Originally posted by crishandra

*ME ABOUT STELENA, BAMON AND KLAROLINE

And then karoline

Originally posted by throughthebooks

He respects her and thinks so highly of her and sees her as a strong independent women and when she does reject him, he accepts it and would rather earn her love than force himself on her. 

Tbh the latest episode of TVD made me feel like i was at a dinner party i didn’t want to go to and was force fed a pile of bullshit. 

Originally posted by 0-4-1-1

When I first read ACOTAR I presumed Lucien was worried for his friend when he said this. But now re-reading, knowing what we know about our dear Tamlin the Tool, I’m thinking it might be a suggestion of abuse. That Lucien is worried about Tamlins “moods” the same way a victim of continuing abuse might be worried about their abuser being in an unfavourable mood.

I think there are also other subtle suggestions about an abusive relationship between Tamlin and Lucien in the book that I completely missed the first the time round!

Fic Rec Days: Rhodey-centric edition

Day 1: TonyRhodey fic

Happy fic rec days, everyone! So, it’s no secret that I love James “Rhodey” Rhodes with my entire being, and I wanted to show my appreciation for all the fic writers out there who constantly feed my unsatiable appetite for Rhodey content. Please do check the tags and warnings of each fic. Also, do leave kudos and comments!

Today, we’re doing TonyRhodey fics. They have the annoying habit of turning out to be disproportionately Tony-centric, which is totally fine, but not exactly what I’m here for. There are already some well-stocked TonyRhodey rec lists out there, so here are a few of my more recent faves (with a few old favorites mixed in).

A Million Shades of Blue by Not Applicable/ @notfknapplicable (T, complete)
An old fave that I simply cannot omit from any TonyRhodey rec list. Tony disappears into the wormhole, and Rhodey stops at nothing to find him. A true classic.

spy!au by @asexualtonystark (T?, WIP)
Rhodey is a field agent, and Tony is. Well. Read it and find out. The romance hasn’t fully kicked in yet, and it looks like it’s going to be a fun ride.

And James Believed Him by Avengerz/ @anthonyfuckingstark (T, one-shot)
Role reversal AU! I fucking love role reversal AUs, and this one did it so well.

Standing in the shadow of a damaged heart by @aslightstep (G?, one-shot)
This one is slightly role reversal-ish, too. Basically a what if: Tony brought Rhodey into the whole Iron Man thing from the start. 

Dreaming in Reality by Faillen (G, one-shot)
Pre-deployment angst.

Pretend We’re In Love (The Heartache Still Hurts) by InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (T, completed)
Fake dating AU! Rhodes family heavy, which I adore. Just as painful as the title suggests.

We Are (Not) Soldiers by arsenicarcher (Pepper/Tony/Steve/Nat/Rhodey (!), M, one-shot)
Another old fave. Featuring Rhodey pining, lowkey playing the martyr, kicking all kinds of ass, standing by his morals at great personal risk, and just being the Rhodey I love so much.

Sudden And Silent In Its Arrival by @phoenixfalls (Tony/Pepper/Rhodey, E, completed? series) 
More Pepper-centric, but lbr, we also need a lot more Pepper in our lives. Non-superhero AU.

Jet Boy Jet Girl by used_songs (Tony/Pepper/Rhodey, T, one-shot)
Charts their relationship from MIT to post-CACW. I really like how the author handled Tony and Rhodey’s backgrounds, especially the tension of Rhodey being military and Tony cutting ties with them. 


There’s a lot of excellent TonyRhodey content out there. I’m sure I missed a lot, especially fic that aren’t cross-posted to Ao3 (@waterbird13‘s stuff comes to mind; I remember a particular fic featuring insecure!Rhodey that I loved, but can no longer find for the life of me). 

Stay tuned tomorrow for more Rhodey-centric fic recs! And happy fic rec days, everyone.

missed opportunity - (Thomas Jefferson x reader x Alexander Hamilton)

summary : Alex fucks up his one chance with you and you run into the arms of his v attractive nemesis.

warnings - mentions of sex, implied smut, cussing, lots of angst, anxiety related things, and Alex/Thomas being dumbasses

pronouns : she/her

a/n - I’m distractin myself from being unable to write the third part of the bus fic !!!!1!1!! also I love angst way too much. I’m in a relationship. this is unhealthy.

a/n pt. 2 - anyways this is after i wrote this- this had been in my drafts for three weeks ugh. im not making a part two to this. chaptered fics give me anxiety. the third fic of the bus fic is going to be the last one. sorry guys, im choosing my mental health over my fics. :/


you sipped the lemonade-cranberry concoction you had made and watched your best friend from the distance. he had invited you to this party as his ‘date’. in his words, “not like a date-date but like a date.” when he looks at your confused glare, he cleared his throat, let out an exasperated sigh, and explained.

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i mean…. if you think about it bisexual!jake just…. makes sense??? i mean he’s basically a puppy with a badge, but he’s grown up emulating toxic hyper-masculinity his whole life and it clearly messed him up in several ways. he’s not unproblematic, but he’s clearly open to learning (see his rosa/gina/amy relationships; they’ve been carefully curated according to their terms e.g. how he corrects his sexism etc.); and then enter stage right captain raymond holt. not only is he seemingly rigid and irritating to jake, he’s the complete opposite to how jake thinks a police officer should be. until he like… gets to know him. the captain is a gay black police chief and he’s fought for everything he’s ever gotten, and jake has quickly seen that this fuckin guy… he’s a champ. he’s the ultimate cop, the missing father figure, the secret badass, all whilst maintaining a loving long-term relationship with his husband and generally being Good At Everything. (can u tell… i also… love ray holt…..) but the thing that MUST stick out to jake is the fact that the captain being gay doesn’t preclude his tenacity and how good he is at his job. that maybe, just maybe, being who you are is what makes you a great detective. 

anyways, jake peralta is bisexual as hell

8. A First Kiss (from this list)

(not compliant with dark cupid)

i’ve always sort of thought of mari as being the one with experience when they get older, but the opposite is also an interesting concept, tbqh :3c

“H-hey, Chat?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve… you’ve kissed people before, right?”

It was such an odd question that Chat stopped and stared. “I mean… I guess so? Why?”

Ladybug puffed her cheeks at him, embarrassed, and tightened her grip on the string of her yo-yo where it was secured to the next rooftop. “Just curious.”

“Oh… ‘kay?”

He extended his staff and primed his next jump, but apparently Ladybug wasn’t quite done yet.

“Can…” Chat glanced over and was surprised to find her fidgeting. “Can I ask when your first kiss was?”

He shrugged, watching her wind and unwind the string around her fingers in not-quite-concern. “Sixteen?”

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