also i may or may not have cried a little while making this

Tips for young trans boys going on HRT [From two dudes already going through it]

Ok so since not everyone is actually fortunate enough to go through an actual Gender Service, I’m going to write some Will and Probably Won’t things that come with going on T. For ref, I’ve been on T a year and my bf has been on for two. Let’s start;

Won’t:

You’ll wake up one day and sound like Morgan Freeman. 

Will:

Going on T will deepen your voice. 

For some people it may happen quite suddenly, for others gradually. Most likely you’ll sound like you have a bad cold for a while and then it’ll even out and be different. If you like to sing, be aware of voice cracks and suddenly being unable to sing as high as you used to. Some guys get lucky and still retain singing prowess, but be aware there’s a high chance you won’t. 

Each person’s vocal change is different. My voice cracked literally after the first injection, whilst my bf had to wait a while for changes. Don’t be worried if it appears your voice isn’t changing and be aware it may not go incredibly deep. It will probably be more noticeable to others than you and eventually it’ll feel like your normal voice. Your pets will recognise your voice, they will always come to know you. 

Won’t:

Face shape will change drastically to become more masculine.

Will:

After a while on T, you may experience some change in face and body shape. 

A lot of trans boys I know seem to believe they’ll wake up one day and just have the perfect masc face. Everyone is different, I can’t stress this enough. You may experience a huge change in the face, you may experience almost nothing. My bf always had a very round ‘moon’ face and his cheeks have started to slim down but his facial shape is more or less the same. As for myself I’ve not noticed anything too considerable yet. 

The same goes for the broadening of the shoulders. If you’re very slender to begin with, you’re probably never going to be Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, but you might experience some changes. Again, don’t be disheartened, everyone is different. 

Won’t:

The fat in your breasts will break down from going on T and make you look a lot more flat, if your chest is small you may not even have to wear a binder.

Will:

If you have A cups, then maybe the breakdown that happens with T will mean you don’t have to bind. However, the breakdown from T alone is very small unless you’re on it for years. Also be aware that a lot of the fat in your body in general is going to start focusing on your stomach. It’ll become easier to gain muscle once on T, but if you don’t exercise, the weight you lose from other areas will go to your stomach. But also, muscle weighs more than fat, remember that. You may drop clothing sizes, which can be a pain if you’re already quite small and have trouble finding masc clothes to fit you, trust me I know. 

Also a note on binders: Do not use bandages or cheap binders. Do not. Binders can cause damage after prolonged use when you’re using a proper binder nevermind anything else. Bandages are made to contract and not let in moisture, they are not good for being tight around the chest! Cheap binders are also usually not breathable and will hurt more than they should! It could cost a lot, but forking out for a proper binder from places like lesloveboat is really going to be worth it. There is the sports bra method if you can’t get a binder because you’re not Out yet and couldn’t justify getting a binder to your parents etc but even then it’s not as safe as a proper binder.

Any binder shouldn’t be worn for longer than recommended, and will most likely rub especially when the T starts to make you sweat more. There’s also going to be an increase in acne on the chest around where the binder fits. If your chest ever really starts to hurt, find somewhere to take the binder off. I don’t care where you are, if you’re getting huge chest pains, take the damn thing off. If you damage yourself the chance of being able to get surgery reduces drastically, not to mention a whole lot of health problems you don’t want to deal with. It’s harsh, but it’s a lot better for you. Get a binder in the next size up and try again.

Won’t:

My periods will stop immediately and I’ll never have them again.

Will:

Eventually your periods will stop, though you may spot occasionally whilst you still have the necessary organs.

Though everyone is different, don’t be disheartened if you still have a period or two after starting T, you’ll stop eventually. You could also go a while without a period and then spot before stopping again. If the spotting continues for a while, or if you start to experience severe cramping, go and see a doctor

Won’t:

I’m going to get angry and aggressive a lot when on T!

Will:

Your emotions will be doing a whole lot of different things. Your may get angry, and you may also find your sex drive increases. You might also get upset more often or at things that never upset you before, or aren’t necessarily sad. I cried listening to that Chick Chick song, it’s ridiculous. It won’t last forever, be patient with yourself, there’s nothing wrong with you it’s basically just puberty (again).

Last things - 

Hair growth all depends on the person, the face being the last place that will probably grow hair and even then you’ll probably only have a tiny fluff for a long time, unless you’re lucky. My bf is experiencing hair in places now that I started growing extremely quickly right away. It could be to do with my having dark hair and him being a redhead tbh. But you will grow hair, all over. All over. Be prepared for that. You will get hair in places you never had much if any hair before. I have hair on my chest now. Not a whole lot but it’s there. The stomach is another hotspot for hair growth on T.

You will get acne, you will start to stink, sweat more and you may get growing pains. Look up Male Puberty, seriously, it’ll give you a good idea of some of the stuff that will start happening to you. Until your hormones calm down, your acne will not ultimately improve even with skincare. If you’re under 21, you might grow a little and the pains will be considerable. I gained like maybe an inch so I’m still short af but that’s something.

Your clit will start to get bigger. I know talking about the female genitalia we have is a big dysphoria bomb for a lot of us, but you need to read this. Your clit will get bigger, maybe considerably, maybe so much that the lips won’t hide it any more (if they ever did). It will rub against your underwear and/or your packer. For me it’s just mildly irritating, though for my bf it actually hurts (stings) him. It will be really sensitive either way. Be aware of that. 

Some people you don’t see every day or aren’t very close to may not recognise you when considerable changes occur. Use this to your advantage! Reintroduce yourself! 

If you self-inject, be prepared to mess up. There will be pain, swelling and bruising. If you have a nurse to inject you (like we do) there’s a change that they too might occasionally catch a nerve and you may bruise. Do not inject directly into a vein.

It’s perfectly fine to cry because of growing pains, pain from rubbing etc. You can be a man and still cry and complain but at least be aware of what to expect. 

Most changes will be so gradual that you’ll never look in the mirror and see a stranger, it’ll be like this was always the way you were.

If you do however, start to become really distressed by the changes or start to see nothing but a stranger in the mirror, please reconsider whether HRT is the right thing for you. The last thing you want is to be stuck with changes that are actually distressing you. It’s ok if you thought you wanted/needed this but then realised you didn’t/don’t. 

Last (gosh this was long). Every guy is different. Some changes come fast, some don’t. Some may be huge changes and some only small. Don’t compare yourself to other trans guys especially your own friends/loved ones. Every guy is different, be proud of your changes as they come and don’t let anyone bring you down just because those changes aren’t ~*significant*~  to them.

anonymous asked:

I have a HC request! :) Yoosung or Seven or whoever you want honestly lol: MC and [RFA Member] are kids, about 10 years old. MC's reaction to finding out that [RFA Member] has a crush on her but she also has a crush on them. [RFA Member] may or may not have told MC themselves, she could have found out from somewhere else idk. Something cute, sweet, and innocent with the spark of love thanks to Valentine's Day xx

Doing headcanons for all of the members for Valentines Day ♡ 

Yoosung: 

✮ he had the biggest crush on you 
✮ he gushed about you to anyone who would listen 
✮ so it wasn’t really a surprise when you found out 
✮ you’d walked over to play on the playground with him when you heard him 
✮ “yeah, I just think MC is the prettiest girl in our school. we’re gonna get married when we’re older!” 
✮ and when he realises you’re there and heard everything he almost cries 
✮ but you say that you like him too 
✮ SMOL KID BLUSHIES 
✮ he constantly insists on playing games where you’re the princess and he’s your ~knight in shining armour~ 
✮ y’all walk around holding hands and all the adults think you’re the cutest 
✮ so pure 

Jaehee: 

✎ the friendship between the two of you was pretty normal 
✎ and she just thought ‘hey, she’s my best friend. obviously’ 
✎ but then jaehee began to notice how much more she wanted to hug you 
✎ and kISs yOur chEEk?! 
✎ she was 100% confused 
✎ and she felt weird asking her mum about it (bc she was young and her mum is still alive)
✎ so she kinda went up to you and she was super awkward
✎ and you were like ????? wot up
✎ ‘MC… can I hold your hand?’ and she was s o scared
✎ and you’re like ‘yeah of course!’
✎ so y’all walk around holding hands and being super cute
✎ and of course adults are like ‘aw look at those best friends. gal pals forever’  
✎ she just admires you so much 

Zen: 

✿ your friendship started because you didn’t treat him differently 
✿ because this was when his mum was really getting to him and he was insecure 
✿ and he felt like he could talk to you about everything and anything 
✿ and so obviously it grew into a fondness 
✿ he always bought you flowers and other things he thought were pretty 
✿ he just was so taken by you !! 
✿ he told his older brother who would just coo and told zen he had a cruuuuuush
✿ zen was in F U L L  D E N I A L
✿ this nugget actually asked you if he liked you 
✿ ???????
✿ ‘hyun… how am i supposed to know?’
✿ y’all think about this conundrum together for a little while
✿ eventually you’re like
✿ ‘well… do you think I’m a princess?’
✿ and instantly he’s like ‘yeESSSS OF COURSE’
✿ so you’re just like ‘cool. i’m the princess and you’re my knight’ 

Jumin: 

₩ this little rich boy 
₩ he doesn’t get along with a lot of other kids because even from a young age other kids were made by their parents to befriend him to further their careers
₩ and then he comes across this angry little girl at one of his father’s parties
₩ you’re pouting in this cute little dress and he’s just very curious about you 
₩ he asks why you’re so grumpy 
₩ you tell him that you don’t like being around all the serious adults 
₩ he agrees 
₩ y’all run around in his backyard and then become best friends 
₩ you yell at the people who make fun of him for being a ‘robot’ 
₩ he talks to his dad about his weird admiration for you 
₩ realises he might…. LIKE you??!??!?!
₩ he collects some of the flowers from his garden and invites you out for a tea party (omg) 
₩ his face is so red as he shyly hands you the flowers 
₩ and he’s like “i think i really like you” 
₩ you just take it at face value and kiss him on the cheek
₩ everything’s basically the same except now you run around his garden while holding hands 

Seven/Saeyoung: 

⌨  how would this work??
⌨  y’all met at church 
⌨  and he began to look forward to seeing you every sunday 
⌨  to the point where he told you about saeran 
⌨  and he obsesses about the fact that you care so much 
⌨  but unfortunately you can’t do anything to help 
⌨  so you hug him for as long as you can during mass 
⌨  he just really loves the attention 
⌨  he tells you that he’s gonna leave when he gets older 
⌨  and he hates it because you cry 
⌨  he tells you that he’s gonna find you and you’ll get to meet saeran and you’ll be their queen 
⌨  it’s just really pure and full of hugs and holding hands and being sad but supportive of each other 
⌨  even if you only get to see each other once a week 
⌨  you both treasure that one day 
⌨  it really was the Lord’s day 


I honestly had no idea how to do Saeyoung but I hope the other ones are alright! 

Happy Valentine’s Day ♡♡

-다가, -아/어다가, -았/었다가, -다가는, -에다가

This has been a much-requested grammar form! -다가 is a really useful grammar point that is used often in speech, so it would be really helpful to learn how to use it well.

I will cover four different “forms” of -다가, each of which has its own meaning(s). The four forms I’ll cover will be -다가, 아/어다가-았/었다가 (-다가 attached to a verb conjugated to past tense), and -다가는. Also, while it’s not the same as the verb endings that use -다가, I’ll explain the particle -에다가 as well.


-다가

Function

The -다가 grammar form is used to indicate interruption of an action. In English, we could translate this form roughly as “While doing X…”

Usage

-다가 is very simple to use! Just attach it to an action verb root in present tense! You can optionally remove the “가” at the end and just use it as -다 as well. Just make sure that the subject of the preceding and following clauses stays the same Let’s check it out:

Interruption of an action:

요리를 하다가 접시를 떨어트렸어요. (While cooking, I dropped a plate.)

영화를 보다가 잠들었어. (While watching a movie, I fell asleep.)

화랑 씨는 숙제를 하다가 친구들과 전화도 했어요. (While doing his homework, Hwarang  talked with his friends on the phone.)

수하 씨는 오랜만에 못 본 친구랑 통화하다가 울었어요. (While on the phone with a friend she hadn’t been able to see in a long time, Suha cried.)

NOTE: This section originally listed a second meaning for -다가, that being the introduction of the simultaneous occurrence of two actions. After looking into it a bit more, a true feeling of simultaneous occurrence can not be achieved by using -다가 and -(으)면서 must be used, otherwise the sense of interruption persists. You can read a little more by clicking this paragraph. I apologize for any confusion caused.


-아/어다가

Function

-아/어다가 is a grammar form indicating sequential actions. The action in the preceding clause is done first, and then the action in the following clause occurs in a different location. The two actions must be related to each other, so that the action in the following clause happens dependent upon the completion of the action in the preceding clause. You can think of it as meaning “First… and then…” in English, though of course you might have to change that a bit for a more natural translation depending on the circumstances.

Usage

To use this form, simply attach -아/어다가 to the root of an action verb in the present tense. Remember to change the root as needed depending on whether or not it’s irregular!  You can optionally remove the “가” at the end and just use it as -아/어다 as well.

제 가방 좀 가져다 주세요. (Please get my bag and give it to me.)

아름 씨는 김밥을 만들어다가 친구에게 줬어요. (Areum made kimbap and gave it to her friends. 

언니는 선물을 사다가 어머니께 보냈어요. (My older sister bought a gift and sent it to mom.)


-았/었다가

Function

Using -다가 on an action verb conjugated to the past tense indicates completion of an action, after which another action action occurs. This is in contrast to -다가 with a present tense action verb, which indicates interruption of an action or simultaneous occurrence of two actions, as seen above. The verbs used in the preceding and following clauses are often contrasting or opposite, though this is not always the case.

Usage

Just conjugate the action verb that you want to use to past tense and add -다가! You can optionally remove the “가” at the end and just use this grammar as -았/었다. Also, the subject of both the preceding and following clauses must stay the same.

갔다 올게요! (I’ll go and come back! [More naturally, “I’ll be back!”])

편의점에 들렀다가 집에 갔어요. (I stopped by the convenience store and then went home.)

NOTE: This form can also be used to express that something unexpected happened after doing the action in the preceding clause.

집에 갔다가 문 앞에 웬 소포가 있었어요. (I went home and there was an unexpected package in front of the door.)

기차를 탔다가 6년만에 못 본 친구를 만났아요. (I got on the train and met a friend I hadn’t seen in six years.)


-다가는

Function

This grammar point is used to give warnings, indicating that if the action or condition of the preceding clause continues, then the negative result in the following clause will occur. It can be translated as “If… then…”. Just keep in mind that it must be used with negative consequences only!

Something important to note with this form is that, while it might seem similar to -(으)면, the two are not totally interchangeable! -다가는 refers to an action that is already known to be in progress, regardless of context, while an identical sentence that changes only -다가는 to -(으)면 refers to a condition in the preceding clause that may or may not be in progress (unless prior context makes it clear that the action is in progress, in which case the two sentences are identical).

Usage

Unlike the other -다가s that we have looked at so far, this one can be used with action and descriptive verbs both! Just attach -다가는 to the root of the verb in either present or past tense. Using a verb conjugated to the past tense changes the preceding clause from a situation that is currently in progress to speculating about a present or future event.

PRESENT

  • Action verbs: -다가는
    • 담배를 계속 피우다가는 폐암에 걸릴지도 몰라요. (If you keep smoking, you might get lung cancer [LIT-I don’t know whether or not you’ll get lung cancer].)
    • 이렇게 공부를 미루다가는 기말 시험에 떨어질 수도 있어요. (If you put off studying like this you could even fail the final exam.)
  • Descriptive verbs: -다가는
    • 미세먼지가 이렇게 심하다가는 호흡기 질환 환자들이 많아질 거예요. (If the pollution stays severe like this, the number of respiratory illness patients will increase.)
    • 날씨가 이렇게 덥다가는 특히 노인들이 열사병에 많이 걸릴 것 같아요. (If the weather stays hot like this, it seems that especially many elderly people could get heat stroke.)

PAST— I actually struggled over this section quite a bit! I had to ask some native speaker friends to help me work through it. In general, the consensus we reached is that the examples that I wrote here are correct, but it is far more common to just use -(으)면 for the same meaning.

  • Action verbs: -았/었다가는
    • 어제 처럼 경기했다가는 질 거예요. (If we play like we did yesterday, then we will lose.)
    • 음식을 너무 많이 먹었다가는 배탈이 날 거예요. (If you eat too much food, you’ll get a stomachache.)
  • Descriptive verbs: -았/었다가는
    • 집안 습기가 계속 이렇게 높았다가는 곰팡이가 쉽게 생길 거예요. (If the humidity in your house is constantly high, mold will form easily.)
    • 출산율이 계속 낮았다가는 인구가 감소할 거예요. (If the birthrate stays low, the population will decrease.)


-에다가

Function

The particle -에다가 has two main functions. One of those functions is to indicate the specific location of something, and the other is to add more information in addition to something else. You can drop the final “가” and just use this particle as -에다.

Usage

When used to indicate the specific location of something, -에다가 is attached to an adverb. When used to provide additional information, it attaches to nouns.

Specific location:

  • 종이 밑에다가 사인해 주세요. (Please sign the bottom of the paper.)
  • 가방을 책상 위에다가 놓았어요. (I put my bag on top of the table.)
  • 어디에다 둘까요? (Where should I put it?)

Additional information:

  • 김밥을 만들었어요. 게다가(그에다가) 음료수도 준비해 놨어요. (I made kimbap. In addition to that, I also prepared drinks.) 
  • 소윤 씨는 알바하는 데다가 봉사 활동도 해요. (In addition to working a part-time job, Soyun also does volunteer activities.) NOTE: 데다가 = 데 + 에다가. For more info on -는 데, click here!
  • 이번 주 가스요금에다가 전기요금도 내야 돼요. (This week I must pay my electricity bill in addition to my gas bill.)


And that’s about it for -다가! There’s a lot of information in this post, so take your time reading through it and feel free to ask if you find anything confusing. Happy studying, everyone~

Here's to BTS.

Here’s to Rap Monster, who has dreamed of this moment since his debut. Who used to perform as an underground artist as a student and who led his group so well despite his young age, despite of his uncertainty and fear for the future. Who makes sure to always be there to talk to his members about their feelings and thoughts. Who gave up entering a good university for his passion for music and has spent nearly every night writing lyrics and making songs even till the early morning, even while waiting to go up on stage and even when they are on the plane flying to their next event. Who always writes such thoughtful tangents on loving ourselves, trusting our youth and our passion, forgiving ourselves, and appreciating everything that we have in this world. Who shows us every side to him even though he’s scared of the vulnerability. Who never forgets to thank those around him even if he does not know them personally. Who always thinks of us wherever he goes and who is always rooting for us in whatever we do. Truly without him, BTS would not be the BTS that they are today. And I really hope that he knows that; I hope that receiving this award was able to take all his stresses and heavy thoughts from his shoulders. And even more, I hope that he has learned to love himself- flaws and all- just as we love him. Thank you for always showering us with love and thoughtfulness even if we may not deserve it, thank you for never forgetting about us. I hope that you never doubt yourself and your pure heart. You are more than deserving of this award.

Here’s to Jin. Who has shown us that hardwork and self-confidence is everything. He was accepted into Konkuk university, which is a prestigious Seoul university, before entering Bighit. He got into the film department with absolutely NO special admissions. He studied hard with plans as to become an actor but when Bighit changed his career path, Jin practiced every single day to become the amazing performer that he is today. I think of how he called his vocal trainer at 4am to show her that he has improved and I get so proud. Here’s to the oldest member of the group. Who constantly showers his members and his fans with love. Who was the one that cooked for the members, borrowing food and tools from his own family when BTS could not afford to, who made sure that every member became comfortable in Seoul when they first arrived at BigHit. Who is unbelievably intelligent as well. Who is always there to make us laugh with his silly gags and jokes, who is always there to make us feel loved. You worked hard to improve, you worked hard to be where you are right now. You deserve this.

Here’s to Suga. Who learned what it meant to be an adult at such a young age. Who used to perform for audiences of two and not have enough money to even buy ramen. Who used to listen to people constantly tell him that he would ruin his family. Who came up to Bighit as a trainee to become a hip hop artist and still worked hard and did not falter when that goal changed; learning to dance and what it means to be an idol, studying and working part time, fighting with suicidal thoughts, depression, self-hatred, a broken shoulder, and more. Who spends countless of sleepless nights working on music and lyrics, even on the nights that they are on vacation or when they just come back from a performance. Who truly showed us that though the start may be humble, the end will be prosperous. Thank you for teaching us what it means to live with passion, thank you for always working hard even if you don’t need to. You may not believe it, but this award is real and you deserve it. You’ve achieved all of your goals now! You’ve worked hard to be where you are. Thank you for showing us that hardwork and determination will never, ever betray us.

Here’s to J-Hope. Who was a street dancer and came into Bighit planning to become a vocalist and dancer. Who, when everyone doubted his skills, practiced even harder to become the well-rounded artist that he is now. Who taught himself how to rap and how to write lyrics despite having little experience in that area and is now one of the main creators behind bts’s music. Who practices every night, working on his mixtape and working on his dance skills, because he loves to do so. Who shows us what it means to live with hope and who never fails to show us happiness even in the most difficult of times. I hope you know that we are aware of how thoughtful you are, I hope you know that our love for you is eternal, and I hope you know that you too are more than deserving for this reward. And I just hope that you know that your existence to us gives us strength, that you do not always have to put yourself behind a happy facade and force yourself to hide your true emotions. We know the wide range of thoughts that you have running in your head and we absolutely care for and love all of them.

Here’s to Jimin. Who was a diligent student that studied dance so passionately. Who spends nearly every night in the practice room because he thinks “who am I to be resting right now?” I think of how you cried when people doubted your skills and I hope you know that those people are completely wrong. Your voice is something that touches our hearts and moves us and your skill in dance never fails to amaze us. You belong on stage. Here’s to Jimin. Who also showers his members with such adoration and affection, who is always there to comfort them in the darkest of times. Thank you for showing us what it means to be a good friend and brother. Thank you for showing us what it means to be kind. I hope you know that we love you just the way you are and that it’s okay to rest and to make mistakes. Please don’t ever doubt yourself.

Here’s to Taehyung. Who had to get the help of the Bighit staff to convince his family to let him begin training. Who wanted to be a farmer so that he could help his grandmother in Daegu. Who has been so strong throughout this difficult and painful year. Who still performed passionately for us even when he lost one of the most important woman in his life. Who put up a joyful front for so long even though he was actually in so much pain. Who constantly shows us new sides to his personality. Who constantly works hard in all that he does. Thank you for never failing to put a smile on our faces even when you were going through such a low point and thank you for teaching us what it means to be a filial child. Thank you for loving bangtan just as much as we do and thank you for always being so kind and bright. You share so much with us even when we aren’t deserving of it, Your stage presence and skill never fails to amaze me as well. We will remember your grandmother and we will always thank her for her blessings. You are more than deserving of this award. We know how wide the spectrum of your thoughts are and we know how intelligent you are- no matter what type of expression you might have on your face, your existence is always one that we will love.

Here’s to Jungkook. Who started training at such a young age, who was so shy and insecure about himself. Who left his family in Busan to come up to Seoul when he was just 14 years old. Who sacrificed the chance of making so many important memories for his dream, who sacrificed his youth for us. You gave up so many childhood memories- school romances, field days, school friends- to be on stage. Thank you. I think of how you cry when you think of the hardships that his members are going through and I thank you for trusting your brothers and your future, you deserve all the love in this world but please realize that you, also, have been through so many difficult times and have dealt with hardships. It’s okay to not be strong all the time. Thank you for showing us your growth and your endurance and passion. Thank you for showering us with love in so many ways  (whether it be through your detailed song covers or your concert ments), thank you for becoming the person that you are today. Please know that even when your thoughts are cluttered and messy, we are always here to support you and love you. You are more than deserving of this award, thank you for sharing your youth with us.

Lastly, here’s to BTS. This whole entire post of mine is incredibly cheesy but they really do mean a lot to me. Not only do they brighten my every day with their humor and antics but they each have taught me so many things and they constantly inspire me in all that they do. They have taught me to dream, to be diligent, to be loving, to be humble, and to trust my future. More importantly, they have taught me what it means to be young. So here’s to BTS and their first daesang. You deserve it more than anybody in this world and you each are deserving of all the love in this universe. Thank you for showing us that we never are alone and thank you for understanding us and showing us what it means to achieve your dreams and to live with passion. We hear your voice.

Here’s to the first of many more :)

Fragments - Part 6

Word Count: 6811 - omg I’m so sorry

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence, Canon divergence, drinking, some self loathing, mentions of suicide attempt

A/N: Unbeta’d and unedited. Mistakes are all mine. Constructive feedback is always welcome. 

Fragments Masterlist


Your phone vibrating across your nightstand pulled you from a restless sleep. Truth be told, you hadn’t slept soundly since you’d been back except for the night you’d fallen asleep in Dean’s arms. You’d been plagued by dreams of all the hunts you’d been on, the woman you’d killed, the spirits of those little kids, Magda, and her horrible mother. You reached your hand out into the darkness and fished around for your phone, finally finding it and pulling it back to your ear. “Hello?”

“Sorry to wake you, Y/N, but this is important.” Cas answered hastily. “I may have found a lead on the pieces of your soul.” You sat up, resting your back against the headboard and pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Ok.” You breathed. “Spill. What’d you find?”

“I’m hesitant to tell you over the phone, Y/N, I’m sorry, but someone could be listening.” Cas explained. “What I can tell you is we may need to talk to your father.”

“But he’s…he’s dead how are you gonna -“

“We can make it happen.” Cas cut you off before you could finish. Whatever he found out wasn’t good news and it was making you nervous. “I’ll be at the bunker soon.”

After Cas’ phone call you tried in vain to go back to sleep, tossing and turning, before you finally gave up. You changed your clothes and went to the kitchen, pouring yourself a tumbler of whiskey and making your way to the library, sitting in one of the chairs and thinking about what the angel had said.

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Sometimes I like to imagine an au where Anakin and Obi-wan and Padme have been plotting against the mysterious Sith lord since Geonosis, and Anakin makes the decision to go deep cover and play along with Palpatine’s weird manipulation in order to get close enough to the Senate to figure out who’s calling the shots.

He figures out it’s Palpatine too late to pull out of the mission, and ends up having to do some things that will haunt him in order to maintain his cover. Like stand aside and not stop the clones executing Order 66.
Obi-wan and Padme know the truth, but no other Jedi do, nor can they be told or the operation is a bust.

Obi-wan is good at making a big theatrical production out of absolutely everything (because while you’re focused on the sassmaster Jedi, his soldiers are already past your defenses and capturing your base), so when he meets up with Anakin and Padme (who is a darn good actor in her own right) on Mustafar, he makes the duel look good.

But then Anakin wants to push it even further, make it more drastic. Obi-wan isn’t sure he can, but Anakin will force his hand if he has to. (“Look, I’ve lost the hand before. It’s fine, just chop it off, I need an excuse to not have a lightsaber”)
But then the lava surges. And Anakin is burning. Obi-wan tries to help, truly he does. But they both sense it when Padme goes into labor, and Anakin all but orders him to prioritize Padme’s safety over his. So Obi-wan walks away.

That will haunt Obi-wan forever.

The next year is a blur for Anakin and there are times when he can feel himself teetering on the edge of a precipice, times when he’s not sure he’s pretending anymore, when it gets harder and harder to reach the Light Side.
But then he’s sent to Alderaan to threaten the Queen and Viceroy and there’s a chubby bundle of ruffles and attitude clinging to Bail’s fingers and resolutely attempting to walk and he knows who it is.

He reveals his identity to Bail in private, who is astonished and heartbroken for all his friend’s husband has put himself through for a chance to stop the emperor. A chance that he ultimately missed. They begin to arrange secret codes and dead drops and things even the fledgling Rebel Alliance would have trouble deciphering.

Bail also discovers that Anakin and Breha are both of the “She’s crying! Bail, help!” school of parenting. They’re great at keeping Leia happy, but when she cries, Breha is like “is that the hungry cry or the angry cry I don’t know them apart yet!” and Anakin is like “Did I break her? It’s my fault, isn’t it. Don’t cry I’m sorry!!”
His sporadic, clandestine visits tend to leave Bail wondering which of her four parents Leia will take after the most.

Once every other month, Anakin sends encrypted messages as “Counterweight” to fellow conspirators “Linchpin”, “Leverage”, and “Fulcrum”. (Obi-wan, Padme, and Ahsoka of course). This is also how he and Padme exchange news, and record messages for the twins to watch when they’re older.

Luke grows up knowing his father is a “secret agent” with lots of scars, and that when he’s old enough he’ll get to help him fight the bad guys.
Leia grows up knowing her “Other Mama” is an “outlaw superhero”. (Bail and Anakin came up with that one together. Breha reflected “well, you’re not wrong.”)

It was Leia’s idea to become Vader’s somewhat political nemesis in order to divert suspicion from them. Breha thinks she’s just reveling in the chance to get to be like Bail and Padme while utilizing her natural Skywalker Sass.

Luke trains a little with Obi-wan, but mostly practices piloting. (Mother thought that might be what they’d need almost as much as Jedi, and Mother is never wrong). He and Owen may or may not have constructed a secret bunker under the homestead just in case Anakin ever makes it out to Tatooine.

But then word starts leaking out that the Separatists’ secret doomsday weapon wasn’t scrapped. That it had begun to be constructed during the last days of the Clone Wars, and was nearing completion.
A planet killer.

Looks like the Skywalker family reunion may be happening a little sooner than planned.

Taxi

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 516

Warnings: Mild angst

A/N: Because I’m currently obsessed with The Maine’s new album Lovely Little Lonely, I may or may not be writing drabbles based on their songs. This one in particular based on the song Taxi. Hope you guys like it. 

Originally posted by imaginingbucky

“Is the sadness everlasting?”

Looking out the window, the taxi drove through the city streets as the radio played softly through the speakers. You bit your lip and blinked the tears away that threatened to fall, waiting for an answer from your friend.

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Boyfriend Series; The8/Minghao

- minghao is the cutest boyfriend ever don’t even argue with me on this
- for your first date, he takes you to the roof of the highest place in the city at night and the cool breeze feels so nice and the stars are scattered all over the dark blue sky
- you turn to him and ask “minghao, why are we here??”
- and right after you say that, one firework shoots up into the sky and another and another
- minghao knew about the fireworks show and wanted you both to have the best view
- and on that roof is where you both share your first kiss
- he’s a bit of a worrier, so he often calls to ask you if you’ve eaten yet or if you slept well or if your day went well ISN’T HE CUTE
- you both make it your goal to try all the restaurants in the city so you guys go out for breakfast/lunch/dinner dates every day
- his eyes sparkle when you ask him to tell you all about china and he gets so excited while talking about his hometown
- apologizes cutely when he realizes he talked too much but you’re like no!!! keep going i love hearing about this!!! and his face just lights up
- he calls you tiánxīn (sweetheart) and qīn'ài de (darling) and you die
- he’s shy when it comes to having matching couple things, but after realizing that it would make you happy, he decides to get you both matching scarves
- minghao once tied your scarf for you and the other members all teased him about it because it was so k-drama
- but they stopped when he went all thughao on them
- remembers every single one of your achievements and always tells you how proud he is of you, which helps you feel so much better on bad days
- whenever you guys take pictures of each other, minghao always insists you send them to him right away so he can put one as his lock screen
- he also really loves photo booth pictures
- he hangs them up on his wall at the dorm and junhui points at you and goes like “ohhh who’s that cutie??” and minghao just glares at him like don’t. you. effing. dare.
- “GO AWAY JUN THEY’RE MINE”
- always wants to kiss you but he’s shy so you’re usually the one who initiates the kisses
- one time HE was the one who initiated the kiss and when you both pulled away his face turned bright red and he apologized for being so forward
- minghao loves forehead kisses
- maybe even a tiny bit more than kisses on the lips
- he finds them so warm and comforting, sometimes when you’re leaning in for a kiss he purposely lowers himself so that you’d kiss his forehead instead
- “(laughs) minghao i was aiming for your lips” “ohhh right”
- always tries to impress you with his b-boying and jihoon bans you from coming to dance practices because they never progress while you’re there
- gets you cute small gifts like ribbons and keychains and says “it looked like something you’d like” and you know what HE’S ALWAYS RIGHT
- takes care of you when you’re sick like he buys you medicine, makes you hot soup and tea, gets you 28379 blankets, makes sure you’re comfortable
- he just wants you to feel better again because he doesn’t like seeing you this way
- gets so flustered when you wear his shirts and junhui teases him about it
- you made his “lipstick chateau” your ringtone and he screams for you to pick it up the second it rings
- “why would you make that your ringtone???”
- since he complained about it a lot you changed it……. to his girls’ generation cover of lionheart and he was like oh. my gosh. i give up
- the type to go like “race you there” and does fricking backflips while racing with you and you’re like wtf
- honestly an amazing listener
- you could rant to him for hours on end and he’d just listen attentively while giving great advice every now and then
- loves cuddling but he’s shy so INITIATE IT AND YOU’LL CUDDLE FOR HOURS
- actually really loves holding your hand and makes excuses to hold it like “ohhh my hands are cold”, “hold my hand so i don’t get separated from you” and you’re like minghao you’re so obvious lmao
- scolded you when you tried to copy his b-boying because he was afraid you were going to get hurt
- hugs and finger hearts
- tells you he loves you in chinese
- surprisingly really protective of you like once he went to the washroom and when he came back out he saw this guy flirting with you
- he normally doesn’t like confrontation but the SECOND he saw him touch you, he walked over and pulled you close to him
- “sorry to interrupt you, but we’re leaving now. punk.”
- seeing him this way made you feel all warm inside
- his dream is to one day take you to china with him to meet his family and explore all the places and take thousands of pictures together
- gets you thoughtful gifts like once you told him you needed new socks because your current ones are all gross and ripped up
- and the next day he showed up with a little box to give to you and when you opened it, there were like four pairs of socks and you cried
- minghao gets nervous when you cry of happiness because he thinks it’s of sadness and he’s all like “did i do something wrong?? did i make you cry??”
- asks mingyu and seokmin to teach him how to cook your favorite meal so he can make it for you
- minghao is honestly the kindest and most thoughtful boyfriend ever, he cares so much about your well-being and always makes sure you’re smiling when you’re together
- he may feel homesick sometimes and he may get exhausted from practicing for days on end and he may be lacking several hours of sleep
- but the second he sees you
- he knows he’ll be all right
- “repeat after me: (in chinese) i love you minghao”
- “(in chinese) i love you minghao”
- “(laughs) (in chinese) i love you too”

does this make sense? | 01 (m)

 pairing: min yoongi x reader , college! yoongi
 genre/warnings: smut, future drama, future angst
• words: 11,310
summary: you meet the mysterious Yoongi at a house party and no matter how uninterested you tell yourself that you are, you can’t say no to him. Can you end up changing his playboy ways, or will you just end up getting hurt? 

» playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | + | ✓

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Teeth

Fandom: Zelda BoTW

Summary: After Link accidentally injures Sidon in a sparring match, he is so distraught from the mistake that he runs off. When Sidon tries to chase after him and console him, however, he doesn’t fully realize just how ridiculous his injury is.

Author’s notes: ….of course my first contribution to the Zelda fandom ever is fluffy garbage I’m not even sorry. 

Also yes, yes this is the thing I contemplated writing not long ago. It’s not as shippy as I thought it would have turned into knowing me, but this is still pretty damn cute and I am still pretty damn pleased. 

I just. Can’t stop picturing Sidon with a gap-toothed grin. May you never get the image out of your mind either. 

Also, if you’d prefer you can read here on Ao3! Or you can just click the read more button below! 

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anonymous asked:

rfa boys + v + saeran with MC as brand new parents. Like, we're talking baby time with middle of the night feedings and diaper changes, and crying and not sleeping and the exhaustion that comes with being a new parents, but also a cute moment here and there as well.

Awww anonny you’re hitting me with the feels! I could write tons of pages about the Mystic Messenger characters being parents so these turned out to be longer and fluffy! I based the children’s sex on my last post about these peeps being parents and I also added Jaehee just because I didn’t want her to be left out so hopefully that’s okay! I kind of want to give the children names and personalities now because I’ve become so attached to this idea thanks to you and the other anon’s parent request! I absolutely loved writing this request so I really hope that you enjoy!! :)


Yoosung

  • Yoosung is surprisingly really helpful when it comes to dealing with your newborn son
  • He understands how exhausted you are from the day and usually takes the night shifts when taking care of your son
  • Yoosung already stays up late to play LOLOL and has even started to set up a schedule as to when to check on his son while also killing some monsters
  • The times whenever Yoosung is actually asleep and hears your son crying, he always gets right out of bed to care for him
  • Your son sometimes has problems properly latching onto the bottle when it’s feeding time so Yoosung gives him little encouragements to help him
  • “Come on little guy, you have to drink your milk! How else will you grow big and strong enough to help daddy slay the monsters in LOLOL? Hey, that’s it! You’re doing it! I’m so proud of my little man!”
  • There have been nights where Yoosung is just exhausted from work and just wants to sleep but when he hears his son’s crying, he’ll attend to him no matter what the problem is… unless it’s diaper changing then he may call you for some assistance
  • One of Yoosung’s favorite things in the world is showing your son picture books of animals and seeing his reaction to each one, slowly but surely teaching his son the wonders of being a Vet
  • Yoosung is honestly Super Dad and is extremely attentive to his son’s needs because he’d do absolutely anything for his son

Zen

  • Zen definitely tried his best whenever it came to dealing with your son at night, he just wasn’t always the best
  • He’d come home tired from rehearsals and as the two of you were about to fall asleep, your son would start crying
  • With a deep sigh, Zen would roll out of bed and tend to his son’s needs
  • Your son was like his father for more than just his looks, he was extremely vocal like Zen
  • Zen would wince sometimes at just how loud his son would cry but he found that his own voice would usually soothe the little one
  • “Listen son, I’m really proud of you for working on that singing voice so early on in life but mommy and I are tired. How about you listen to your old man sing a little bit and then you go back to sleep alright?”
  • When it came to night feeding and diaper changing, Zen would typically have to turn to you for help because he would usually make the bottle too warm and could not change a diaper to save his life
  • But when your son wasn’t crying his little lungs out, one of Zen’s favorite things is to put his son on his bare chest, taking ahold of his son’s tiny arms and moving them in random patterns and singing to him while lightly kissing his forehead
  • Zen definitely has room to improve with his parenting, something he understands and accepts, but one thing that he’s mastered is to always love and care for his son

Jaehee

  • Jaehee already has experience taking care of the other RFA members, who’re basically kids, so she ends up being a super great mom
  • She sees how exhausted you are so Jaehee’s more than willing to take care of her daughter at nighttime
  • Your daughter isn’t a very loud crier but Jaehee can always tells when she’s in distress
  • Jaehee’s a pro at diaper changing and heating up the bottles since she had lots of experience with heating up her coffee
  • But there are times when both you and Jaehee are tired but your daughter is crying her little heart out but of course Jaehee will attend to her, she just may be a little bit cranky in the morning
  • When your daughter refuses to fall back asleep, Jaehee likes to read her stories from a fairytale book, even acting out all of the parts which earns a few giggles from her tiny daughter
  • “This is what I want you to learn my daughter, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything. You’re going to grow up to be such a strong and beautiful girl and me and your mother want you to be happy. We’ll make sure to always encourage you to follow your dreams.”
  • You notice your daughter starting to fall asleep only when she’s cradled in Jaehee’s arms, making Jaehee give you a shy smile
  • Jaehee is an amazing mom, no one would argue that, and her daughter grows up knowing just how much her two mothers love her

Jumin

  • Jumin wanted nothing more than for his daughter to grow up in a healthy, loving environment
  • To do this, Jumin wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, so since he worked during the day he usually would spend all night with her
  • But when your daughter would cry, Jumin would panic never knowing what she needed
  • Jumin was terrible at changing diapers, he could ever get the bottle temperature right, and it seemed like every time he’d try to pick his daughter up, her cries would turn into wailing
  • He was about to give up hope of being a good dad but you kept encouraging Jumin, telling him to just keep spending more time with his daughter then she’d start warming up to him
  • One night when you and Jumin were sleeping, the two of you heard your daughter crying yet again and just as Jumin was about to call a nanny, you convinced him to go to her
  • He was reluctant but did so, carefully picking up his daughter to try and get her to calm down
  • When her crying turned louder, not that Jumin was surprised, he tried something new and started to rock his daughter back and forth while singing a lullaby in his deep voice
  • “Do like my singing my little girl? Hmm your mother says the same thing but I don’t think it’s that great. But I’m glad that you like it, I’ll sing anything for you my precious girl.”
  • His daughter eventually fell asleep in his arms, making Jumin almost cry on the spot as he cuddled her closer in his arms
  • Jumin may not be the most experienced dad, but after that moment he knew that he would give his daughter all of the love he could because, besides you, she was his favorite person in the world

Seven

  • Seven would always joke around about being the best dad ever but he honestly was starting to become one
  • His sleep schedule is the worst so he’d always be ready to go to your son when he started crying
  • By some miracle, your son didn’t become a crying mess all that often, making both you and Seven extremely relieved
  • It took Seven a while to get the hang of changing diapers and getting the bottle ready, let’s just say there were lots of times when you had to help clean up the mess Seven made
  • But Seven would always let you sleep when your son cried at night because he cherished his time with his little boy
  • When the little Choi was being extra fussy and wouldn’t stop crying, Seven would lift him up and spin around in slow circles, telling his tiny son crazy made up stories
  • The smile his son would show made Seven’s heart melt, he finally had a family to call his own
  • “You know little guy, I never knew what it was like to have loving parents. But you’re never going to feel that way because me and your mom are going to love you for forever! And maybe someday if you’re extra good, I’ll take you to space with me!”
  • Your son always seemed to calm down whenever Seven was with him, realizing that your husband made a father-son bond that would never be broken
  • Seven would always spend as much time as possible with you and his son, making sure that his son would grow up in a family that was filled with lots of love

V

  • V already had a feeling that life was going to get a bit… messier when your twins had come into this world
  • He always had an immense amount of guilt for not getting the eye surgery sooner so that he could see his children
  • So V figured that taking care of your fussy twins at night would at least start to show how sorry he was
  • The twins weren’t easy to deal with, your son would try and crawl out of the crib and slobber on anything he could get his hands on while your daughter was a crying machine and would flail around whenever anyone would try and pick her up
  • V definitely had his work cut out for him
  • He was a terrible diaper changer and he usually ended up dropping the bottles of milk on the floor before even heating them up since it was still dark outside, not helping with his poor vision
  • But as time went on, V started getting more and more confident as well as helpful with his twins
  • He loved having them sit on his lap while he watched their eyes widen in wonder as V showed them his scrapbooks of photos
  • Granted, he had to be careful of his son’s drool and his daughter’s tears when handling the photos
  • “You two sure seem to like this photo a lot and I’m not surprised. Uncle Jumin took this one of mommy and me in the garden. I really love this photo, even though it’s pretty blurry, we still need to teach Uncle Jumin how to take photos when you two get older. I’ll have him take a photo of all four of us together when you both are bigger okay?”
  • Now every time V’s with the twins, they immediately start to crawl onto his lap waiting for a new scrapbook to be presented to them
  • V had become an amazing father to his twins, not that it surprised you, and when they did get old enough, V received the eye surgery to finally fully see his beautiful family

Unknown

  • Saeran was absolutely terrified about being a father and having a child to look after
  • In fact, Saeran was practically afraid of his son, he saw his own vulnerable self within his son, making Saeran think of his own awful childhood and wanting nothing to do with the little boy
  • You would usually end up taking care of your son day and night since Saeran would get flashbacks of his childhood and nearly had a panic attack once
  • But one night when you were feeling extremely sick and resting, Saeran heard his son crying from the room next door
  • Saeran cautiously went to his son’s room and yet again, panicked when seeing his son crying, reminding him of himself
  • But then his son looked Saeran right in the eyes, making Saeran freeze but realize that his son needed him and that nothing else mattered
  • He gently picked up his little boy and sat down on a rocking chair, softly shushing him and wiping his tears away
  • “I’m so sorry for not taking care of you and properly loving you. But you helped me realize something, you’re my son and nobody’s going to take you away from me. I promise to protect you and love you for forever so don’t be sad anymore okay?“
  • From that night on, Saeran became a super dad and wouldn’t let his son out of his sight, soon becoming a diaper changing and bottle making expert
  • His favorite thing to do with his son is to go sit outside and stare at the clouds, with Saeran usually chuckling when his son would get excited and point at the sky
  • Saeran soon became an amazing father and husband, he would always make it a point to tell both you and his son how much he loved and cherished you two

HOW TO RP A CHARACTER WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

although the other bpd guides are great - i realized most of them just explained what borderline personality disorder was, but they all felt impersonal. so here will be my guide on what bpd is, how to play a character with bpd, and what bpd looks like.

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When Angels Answer

Title: When Angels Answer

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 5,600(ish)

Warnings:Descriptions of spousal abuse, terminal cancer, character death, angsty, fluffy, smutty, tear your heart out stuff

A/N: I would love, love, LOVE, feedback on this!! Angst isn’t usually my thing so let me know how it is!! Enjoy!!



Today you’d been diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. And you were happy. How’s that for a fucked up life view?  This was the happiest drive home you’d had in 15 years.

Home was your own personal prison cell. You did as you were told because why would you further anger an already hate filled man?

This was your way out. You were only allowed one doctor’s appointment a year, apparently his care for you was enough to keep you healthy for ages. In reality, he didn’t want anyone seeing his fists handiwork. The one appointment a year meant you wouldn’t receive treatment. You could let the cancer grow and spread. You had a way out.

Sound extreme? Oh, it definitely is. Do you know what else is extreme though? Being thrown down a flight of stairs to be dragged back up by your hair, to take a steel toed boot to the gut and tumble right back down again. Why? You accidentally spilled his beer while he tried to have sex with you.

Running never worked, his grip on you was too tight. He tracked your cellphone that must be on you at all times. He counted the mileage on the car before and after you drove, only certain pre-approved routes were able to be used, so he would know if you spent any extra time out of the house. The neighbors all thought you were an adulterous slut, thanks to your lovely hubby of course, and whenever they saw you leave the house when he wasn’t home they assumed you were going to cheat and would call him right away.

There was no way out, until now.

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Motherly Instinct (Aaron Burr x Reader)

Originally posted by youforfeitallrights

Summary: After hearing a baby crying and a man’s desperate attempts to calm his child, you push your way into Aaron Burr’s life, helping him with Theodosia. Along the way you end up developing feelings towards Aaron.

Warnings: None really, I mean there are mentions of death, but that’s it.

Time Period: Hamiltime

Words: 2450 (sorry…)

A/N: Hello! So first off thank you so much for all of your support, it’s something I thought I’d only dream of. Next, I know that the GIF has nothing to do with the story, it was the only good one I could find. Finally, while I’m excited to post this story, since I don’t see many Aaron x Reader stories, I’m a bit nervous that it won’t be the best. So I apologize, but I hope you enjoy anyway. Have a wonderful day!

You walked down the crowded streets of town, your arm interlocked with your best friend’s, Peggy Schuyler. The two of you were enjoying the freedom of not being involved in a revolution anymore, you were free to go where you pleased and when. Although you were slightly older than Peggy, you still enjoyed her company and the gossip you shared. Today for example, the two of you were discussing couples that had blossomed throughout the war and how they were doing.

“How are Eliza and Alexander doing?” you inquired.

“They are doing well.” Peggy answered. Suddenly, she gasped as if remembering something and turned to you. “I forget to mention this to you before now, but Eliza’s expecting. I’m going to be an aunt!” she squealed.

A wide smile spread across your face as your watched your friend. She was genuinely joyful and ready to become ‘Aunt Peggy.’ Casual conversation flowed between you as you continued down the street, headed towards a small, outdoor café.

Before you could take a seat, you heard the unmistakable sound of a baby crying. Following the cry, you heard what sounded like a man trying to soothe his child. Unfortunately for him, and many people around him, the baby was not settling down anytime soon.

You tried to look around and see where the noise was coming from, and soon discovered that the man with the child was Aaron Burr. That would make sense, considering you had heard his daughter had been born many months ago. Theodosia?

Peggy leaned closer to your ear and whispered, “His wife died just a few days after the birth of their daughter. Complications during the birth.”

“That’s terrible.” you whispered back.

A sense of sorrow filled you as you stared upon the scene that laid before you. While you did not of any children of your own, you could imagine how terrible it would be to have to raise a daughter all alone. That scene struck close to home for you because that was how you were raised. Although, unlike Theodosia, your mother had died when you were two, due to illness.

You knew what you had to do, so you left Peggy’s side, and slowly made your way over to Aaron Burr. Once you reached your destination, you stood awkwardly in front of him to. When he didn’t notice you, you cleared your throat. Instantly, he looked up at you, confusion and desperation swirling in his eyes.

“Can I help you?” he asked, in a somewhat rushed manner.

“Um, I’m sorry to bother you Mr. Burr, but would you like some help?” you asked, gently, pointing to the baby girl that laid in his arms.

At once, he started nodding and you took the seat next to him, arms out, waiting to hold his daughter. After gently placing her in your arms, you supported her head, and began to rock her back and forth.

“Theodosia, right?” you questioned, making sure you had her name correct.

“Yes.” he confirmed, watching you carefully.

“Shhh, shhh Theodosia. It’s alright. What’s wrong?” you talked to the baby, looking down at her precious face. You remembered that Aaron had just been feeding her, so you lifted her up and rested her chest against your shoulder. You began to pat her back and repeated this action until a small ‘burb’ was heard from Theodosia.

You then began to cradle her once more and rocked her back and forth until her eyes began to close, and she drifted off into sleep. Smiling, you looked up and saw that Aaron was staring at you rather intently.

“H-how did you that?” he asked, loudly at first, but then softer when he remembered his daughter was sleeping.

“There’s nothing to it. You just have to make sure you try multiple tactics to quiet her, you’ll never know exactly why a baby is crying.” you explained.

He nodded slowly to show his understanding and gazed down at his daughter. You watched his eyes as he did so and saw how much love her held in his heart for Theodosia. She may not have a mother, but her father would certainly love her enough.

Once you realized you had probably been holding Theodosia for far too long, you handed her back to Aaron and helped him to readjust her, carefully so she could still sleep.

“Thank you so much…” Aaron began, but trails off near the end. He let out a quiet laugh and spoke once more. “I realized I never caught the name of the lovely women who taught be how to quiet my own daughter.”

You smiled at him and also let out a small laugh before answering. “My name is (y/n) (y/l/n).”

“(y/n).” he said, trying out how it sounded to his ears. “Well thank you for your help, (y/n). You have a very motherly instinct” he complimented, smiling softly.

“Of course, it was my pleasure. Now, I must be going, I’m sure my friend will be wondering what’s keeping me.” you explained, although part of you did not want to leave.

Aaron’s smile dropped the tiniest bit, but nodded his head and let you walk away. Before you were even ten feet away from his table, you heard a shout. “Wait.”

Turning back around, you saw Aaron Burr stand up, Theodosia still sleeping in his arms, and walked towards you. “I am so terribly sorry to ask this of you, but do you think you could help me out with Theodosia again tomorrow? I have a meeting with Congress, but it would only be for a few hours.” Aaron went on, trying to convince you to help him.

With a smile on your face, you rested your hand on Aaron’s, which immediately stopped his talking. “Of course, I will help out, I would love to. And please do not feel ashamed to ask that of me, Mr. Burr.” you assured him.

A grateful smile spread across his face, and he would have hugged you right then, if his arms weren’t already occupied. “Thank you so much. Oh, and you don’t have to call me Mr. Burr. Please, call me Aaron.” he replied.

Nodding, you made arrangements of when to arrive at his house the next day. Once that had been done, you curtsied to say goodbye, and walked away back to Peggy. You explained what had happened, and ignored the remarks Peggy insisted on making that this was the start of your love story with Mr. Burr.

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All of You - Part 2 (Dad, This is Daryl) | (Part 1) | (Part 3)

Daryl x Reader Smut Warning! 18+ Only! NSFW

Summary: As requested, here is part 2. Post-Negan era smut piece. The reader (Negan’s Daughter) convinces Negan to allow Daryl to be her bodyguard while he is away in Alexandria for a few days. Smut and romance ensue. When Negan returns, he finds out that they are sleeping together and loses his shit.

—–

You awoke the morning after your close encounter with Daryl, you awoke feeling wonderfully satisfied, yet hungry for more of him. You could taste his lips on yours and your hands roamed your body, in bed, wishing they were his. You felt them wander lower and lower down your stomach and grip your hips roughly, moving over to touch yourself, thinking of how fucking good he was to you last night.

There was a sudden pounding on your door and you grunted.

“What?!” You scream out, frustrated.

“Y/N. I gotta talk to you, wake the fuck up and open the door!” Negan yelled from behind the wooden door.

You grumpily threw the blankets off you and walked to the door, unlocking it and opening it harshly.

“What?? Can’t a girl get any fucking sleep around here?” You cried out, disgruntled.

“Shit, Y/N. It the fucking apocalypse, no one gets any fucking sleep.” He said playfully and sauntered into your room, making himself completely at home.

He wandered over to a small two person table you had set up in the big space, next to a big window that overlooked the gates of The Sanctuary, and beyond it sweet heavenly freedom. Your father sat down on one of the chairs and gestured for you to do the same. You plop back down onto your bed and stare at him from across the room, awaiting whatever the hell it was that was so damn important.

“I have to go to Alexandria for a few days…. Don’t know how long I will be gone. You gonna be okay here for a little while without me?” He asked with a hint of both concern and sarcasm.

I scoffed at him and smirked. “Yeah, I’m sure I can handle it, dad.”

“If any of those fuckers give you a hard time….” Negan says with a low voice and reaches for something tucked behind his back.

You see him pull out a small automatic handgun, pointing it sideways at you, nodding, and setting it on the table beside him.

Your father had been a big believer in self-protection for his little girl, even before the world went to shit. He took her to martial arts training as a child, self-defense classes, and eventually the shooting range. There was no doubt that Y/N could handle herself in combat if she had to. But Negan was also aware that here she was highly outnumbered and he wanted her to be safe.

Suddenly, Y/N got an idea, a way to use this concern to her advantage. She changed her demeanor and put a slightly worried look on her voice, nodding solemnly to her father.

“Actually Dad, I know how worried you get, me all alone with all those pigs who could easily overpower me.” You lean forward and put your face in your hands, rubbing the sides of your face.

You look up at him with curiosity, “Do you think, there would be anyway you could get me a bodyguard? Someone to make sure no one bothers me while you are gone? … I know I talk a tough game, but sometimes I do get a little nervous.”

You pause in all the right places and use the puppy dog eyes that you knew worked so well on your father. He looked up at you surprised for a moment and then looked down, his eyes staring at nothing in particular, as he thought your question through.

He sighed and nodded, “Yeah. I’ll get Dwight-“ He started, but you immediately interrupted him, sitting up and folding your arms together tightly.

“Not that fuck head.” You command, shaking your head fiercely.

“I don’t trust anyone else to do the fucking job, Y/N.” Negan complained.

“What about one of your prisoners?” You ask, fishing for his reaction.

His head shot up in disbelief, “Yeah. I’m gonna let one of the people I am torturing near my fucking only daughter!” He said sarcastically and laughed out loud.

“I mean it dad! Think about it, you could offer them penance for working it off, and it is near to your heart, so they could prove to you that they may be worthy of life outside of those damn cells!” You say, trying to convince him, you were sure he wouldn’t go for it, but you had to try.

“Plus, I have the gun. I won’t ever take it off me, if they try something, I’ll put em down and it will be one less asshole you’ll have to deal with.” You knew how much he hated the disobedient.

Negan was silent for a few minutes and his face ungiving as to what he was thinking. Slowly, he nodded again.

“Okay.” He said shortly.

You smiled inside yourself, but made no change in demeanor outside to your father, you nodded.

“I think that one, you captured a few weeks ago… You know the one you said would make a good soldier for you one day? I think he might work. You said he was strong and smart, didn’t you?” You say, recalling the things your father had said about Daryl. He really did seem to want Daryl on his side, but he hated that Daryl wouldn’t break, which is why he had been stuck down in that hell hole for the past few weeks.

Negan’s head shot up angrily at your request, but he said nothing, knowing that he did in fact want Daryl on his side as soon as possible, this may be another way to get at him, he thought.

He nodded. “Dwight!” He yelled loudly. You hear footsteps coming from down the hallway and Dwight emerged a few seconds later, still sporting that damn vest. You grit your teeth as he smiles lazily at you, before turning his undivided attention towards Negan. Dwight does not say anything, he just awaits instructions. Just like the little bitch boy he is. You say to yourself, but try and remain uninterested in his demeanor.

“Go down and fetch Daryl. I got a job for him.” He commands and swooshes Dwight away with his hand.

You and your father sat there in silence for a few minutes before your heard shuffling down the hallway. Your heart leaped a little and started pounding in your chest, you felt your body involuntarily shoot up at the sound. Luckily, your father didn’t seem to notice, he had his head in his hand, resting on his knee, swinging it back and forth loosely. He was humming to himself and looking bored af.

You snap your head over to see the man who had made your cry out in pleasure over and over the night before, Daryl walked in in that god awful sweat suit, followed by Dwight gripping him firmly by the back of his collar, like he was a fucking animal. You glared at Dwight, disgusted by the man. Your fists harden a little, but you try and take a deep breath to calm yourself, in a few minutes the man would be free of him, at least for a while.

Daryl looks at you briefly with slight confusion, before staring straight ahead, turning the emotion in his face off. He thought for sure you sold him out for what happened last night, anger seethed inside him. He breathed heavily and fixated on a spot on the wall behind Negan, the spot he would look at while he was beaten down, again.

Negan drops his head from his hands with a dramatic sigh, “Fucking… Finally!” He says and stands up, leaning backwards in his egotistical stance. You feel yourself roll your eyes as all daughter’s do when their fathers embarrass them. Fucking show off. You smirk a little.

“Dar-yl.” Negan starts and steps dramatically over to face Daryl, who stands there staring straight ahead, not looking Negan in the eye.

Negan notices this and grabs Daryl by the chin, putting his face inches away from Daryl’s, forcing Daryl to look into his eyes.

“I’ve got a real important opportunity for you, so you best look at me in my fucking face.” He commands, letting Daryl’s chin go, Daryl looked into the man’s eyes, as commanded.

“I’ve gotta go away for a few days, important things to do for an important man like me!” He says, turning away and sauntering around through the room. He couldn’t be more obvious if he had fucking peacock feathers. You say to yourself, laughing inside your head.

He paces around a bit before striding back to Daryl, standing in front of him again. “And I need you to look after this one here… She is… well she is very important to me and I can’t very well trust some of those men out there.” He pauses. “Hell, you know what kind of savages they can be.” He laughs, looking sideways at Daryl, who still shows no emotion.

Negan waits for a reaction for a moment and the stands firm, “Well?! Speak up, boy! I ain’t got all day!” He yells, irritated, making Daryl wince a little. “Will you or won’t you?”

“I will.” Daryl says softly.

“What? I can’t hear you…” Negan taunts him, humming his words.

“I will.” Daryl says louder and more firmly.

“Now, that’s what I like to hear! People complying!” Negan smiled to himself.

“Now, should anything happen to her in your care, well then, things won’t go so well for you…” He says lowly, threatening Daryl with death, just by using a look.

“However, if I come back and she says everything went just fine and dandy? Well then! You sir earn your way out of that box!” He yells happily, enunciating each syllable as he spoke.

“Is that understood?… Daryl?” He asked, putting his eyes to Daryl’s again.

“Yes.” Daryl said loudly and firm, he was getting the hang of how to talk to him, you thought. Your dad didn’t respond to cowardice or silence well, neither did you, in fact you hated it.

“Good! Then we’re all in agreement!” Negan said, looking around at you to be sure, you nod, and he turns his head back to Daryl, pointing at him hard in the chest.

“You will never be 50 feet from her, you understand? You don’t let anyone of those men even look at her out there. You have my permission to take care of anyone who tries to disobey you. You fuck this up and you will have me to deal with.” Negan says shortly, before turning around to give you a kiss on your head and hand you the gun he had swiped from the table, so that Daryl could not grab it. He hands it to you and stares seriously at you.

“You sure about this Y/N?” He asked you.

You nod. “Yes, Dad. I’ll be fine! Go!” You push him a little, and he hugs you, before straightening up, composing himself and turning back to the two men in the room.

“Dwight, come with me, I have some other great jobs for you while I’m gone.” He laughs and puts his hand on Dwight’s shoulder, leading him out of the room.

Negan shuts the door as they leave and you jump up after a couple of minutes and slam the giant deadbolt locked. You look over at Daryl who has not moved an inch, still staring straight ahead.

“You can relax, he’s gone.” You say and run over to the window, lifting the white curtain and peering out, waiting to watch your father drive out of The Sanctuary. You look down and see him starting up his vehicle and driving away, you smile to yourself, and quickly turn back around to face Daryl, who is looking at you confused.

“What the hell’s going on, girl??” He asked in a loud, low tone.

You smile at the sound of his voice and his eyes on you, you run over to him and wrap your arms around him, giving him a big hug around his shoulders. He stands there taken aback, arms still raised in the arm. You loosen your grip and pull yourself back so you can look in his eyes.

“I just got my father to grant you a couple of days out of that fucking box, that’s what’s going on.” You smile and kiss his lips quickly. He grunts and his eyes shift away from you. You smile coyly.

“What? You can fuck me, but you can’t kiss me the next day?” You laugh a little and grab the sides of his face, forcing his mouth against yours. You harshly shove your tongue into him and around his. You suck and swirl around his tongue a few times and feel his hands come closer, until they finally reached your back.

You let go of his lips and lean back again to see his reaction. He smirked shyly, not really sure what kind of game this was, but he loved the feel of you on his lips, and everywhere else.

You laugh a little to yourself, he really seemed to like it when you took charge. You look him up and down and realize he is still that awful sweat suit. You caress his chest through the ugly fabric.

“Come on.” You say and pull him toward the door. You unlock the deadbolt and pull him down the hallway to a room on the other end, on the left-hand side. You pull a key out of your pocket, looking around to make sure none of the servants were around. With Negan gone they had little reason to be up on this level, you took care of your own shit. You slid the metal object into the lock and turn, hearing it click open. You open the door, looking around to make sure it was empty, you usher Daryl in and walk in after him, locking the door again behind you.

“What are we doin’ here?” He whispered loudly, a little nervous.

“Relax, Daryl. I am allowed to be in here.” You say and smirk.

“I just didn’t feel like dealing with any of their shit right now.” You nod toward the door.

He nods, takes a deep breath, and relaxes a little.

“But, what are we doin’?” He asked, still confused.

You start looking around the room, moving piles of clothes, books, and papers around. You walk over to the closet and pull out a black t-shirt and some black denim jeans, you nod to yourself and look at Daryl.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t have you walkin’ around lookin’ like that.” You gesture your finger up and down him, with a smirk on your face.

He rolls his eyes and looks to the side slightly smiling.

You walk over to him and grab his hand, putting your lips just inches from his ear, making him grow hard. “Come with me…” You say in a low whisper and grab his hand in yours. You pull him to the door on the backside of the bedroom and open it. Daryl walks in to find it was a private bathroom, with a huge shower/bath tub against the back wall. Daryl looks at you with shock.

“You can’t be serious?!” He asked, surprised.

“What? It’s the only shower on this floor.” You say flatly and walk over to him putting your hands on his chest again, slowly moving your hands down to the hem of his shirt. You notice he is still so stiff.

“Relax, he’s not even here! No one is. It’s just us.” You whisper softly into his ear and start to pull the sweatshirt up over his muscular chest. He raises his arms and you lift it up and over his head. He smiles, finally being free again from the monstrous shirt. Your fingers dart into the waistband of his pants and he growls lowly, staring at you with pure desire. You slowly trace your fingers along his lower stomach, inside his pants.

“I missed you today.” You say, looking up at him with sincerity.

He growls again and pulls your lips onto his, passionately diving his tongue into your mouth, sucking a swirling around you. You moan in happiness, trying to capture his tongue in return.

He breaks away swiftly, looking at you with curiosity. He still didn’t know what you wanted with him, but it looked to him like you might actually care for him. How the hell did that happen? He wondered to himself. Looking at you in awe as you stared up at him with warmth.

“You gonna help me?” He asked with a smirk, nodding to the shower stall behind you two.

You bite your lip and nod, helplessly, “Yeah…” When he looked at you with those piercing eyes, it seemed to attack all sense of reason, this was a bolder man than last night and you loved it.

“You better get those off then.” He says, gesturing at your clothes. Your whole body is on fire as you think about his hands on you and him inside of you. You quickly rip your shirt off, unbutton your pants and tug them off, unclasp your bra, and throw it to the floor, and rip down your panties. He watches you, licking his lips and slightly growling, “Mmmm…” When you are done he rips his pants down, as his already hard cock pops free, he doesn’t take his eyes off of you.

You smile coyly and walk over, open the shower door, bend over and start the water. Suddenly, you feel him next to you, his hard, throbbing cock resting on your left hip as he leans into you, grabbing your ass and smacking it a little. You look up at him and moan, pulling the shower tab up to allow the shower head to spray the hot liquid into the big stall.

You get up, turn around and wrap him in your arms, pulling his mouth back to yours and trying to pull his body as close to you as possible. This made your legs hit to bathtub wall and make you two almost fall backwards, Daryl caught you both and held his arm to the shower door, brace your both and pulling you back up. You giggle in his ear, before crashing your mouth into the side of his neck and sucking on his harshly.

“Damn girl… Let’s get in the tub first.” He moans out when your lips hit his bare skin.

“Fuck… Alright, girl, get the fuck in there. I wanna make you feel so good.” He growls, grabbing the back of your hair and tugging on it slightly. Your lips break contact and he pulls you back so he is staring into your eyes. He was so fucking hard against your leg.

You nod and lick your lips, climbing in to the shower, backing under the shower head and letting it drizzle down your naked body, covering every inch of you. You watch as he steps in, eye fucking you, holding his erect cock in his hands. He shuts the shower door and walks over to you, stepping through the waterfall and pressing you into the wall behind you, crashing his lips down onto your neck.

He harshly sucks and swirls his tongue up and down the side of your neck, as you cry out to him. “Daryl!” You hold onto his huge, broad shoulders as he makes love to your neck. He sucks on your skin for a little bit longer, you watch as the hot water soars down the back of his head and down his broad back. He breaks his contact with your skin and leaves little kisses up your neck, to your cheek, and to your lips. He looks up at you with admiration in his eyes. He crashes his lips back into yours and devours you again.

You feel his hands run up your thighs and roughly push back onto both of your hips, pushing you harder into the tile behind you. You whimper in pleasure at the feel of his rough touch.

You look at him as you are swirling around in each others mouths, he has his eyes closed and is enjoying every second of having you in his mouth. You tease and massage his hair, which earns you another moan.

His hands slowly run up your hips and stomach, until they reach your breasts, he takes one in each of his large hands and slowly begins rubbing them, hard. You arch into him and cry out, pulling your head away from his lips. He smiles and begins to lick down the nape of your neck, all the way down your sternum, until he reached your breasts. You tug at his hair playfully, as you moan out in pleasure.

“That feels so good!” You cry out, tugging his hair into your skin, harder.

Suddenly, his mouth attacks your right nipple and sucks and swirls all around your breast over and over. “Mmmm.” He moans and vibrates into your skin, making you so fucking wet. You bite your lip and enjoy the sensation of his tongue all over you. His lips kiss and swirl over to your other breast and devour it in a circular motion, sucking and swirling, devouring and flicking your nipple over and over.

“Oh yes! Baby!” You cry out, pushing his head into you more and arching your hips into his. He detaches his lips for a moment, looking up at you hungrily, “You want me baby?” He asked lowly.

You look down at him, biting your lip and rapidly nodding your head. “Yes, Baby! I want you so bad!” You moan out to him. He smirks, his hands moving down to your ass and grabbing it harshly, before moving one hand back over in between your parted legs. His fingers trace up and down your folds and he feels how wet you are.

“Damn, girl. So fucking wet.” He says, darting his finger in and out of you a few time, before bring it up to swirl around your clit, making you buck into him and groan. He smirks and removes his hand, placing it back onto his aching cock, he needed to be inside you.

You part your legs in anticipation, staring at him as he pumped himself with his cock. He was so hard and so big. You lick your lips staring at him pleasuring himself, waiting to feel him inside you. Daryl stands up, looking directly into your eyes, and grabs his hard cock in his hand, guiding it to your pussy. You lock eyes and cannot look away, his stare was like pure fire, you loved to watch them stare you down as he fucked you. You lick your lips and he crashes back into your mouth, while moving his cock against your folds, pushing harshly into you.

You moan out in pleasure and pain, into his mouth. “Mmmm…..” You moan into him as his tongue caresses yours.

His hand moves up to the side of your clit and starts to run his index finger up and down you, putting as much pressure down onto you as he could, all the while slowly pumping into you.

You cry out again, “Fuck Yeah!” Moving your hips into him, fucking him back, as you got wetter with every thrust and movement by his finger on you. He built up a rhythm, he would stroke you and thrust into you, while pulling your hips into his with his other hand. You found his rhythm and dipped, bucked, and grinded in compliance, with every cycle.

The water dripped down on you both as you grind into him and he thrusts in to you over and over again, each time he put pressure on your clit and down your pussy. He looks at you as you lose control under his finger and his cock, his hips move slow and deep, watching you groan in pleasure. He then picks up his pace so you are bouncing against each other, he watches as you squeal and scream as he hits into you again and again. “Yes! Yes!” You scream in pleasure, your eyes closed, feeling every inch of him in you.

He groans and continues the pace you loved the most, he makes you bounce onto him over and over, as the water pours over you both. His pace picks up as he grabs your ass even harder, he growls at you.

“Oh Yeah!” His voice picks up in urgency and he grinds harder into your pussy as his dick pounds you.

You feel his cock tighten and harden even more inside of you and then he pushes hard onto your clit, over and over until you explode. You cry out at you cum all over him, as he fucks you hard, faster and faster, rubbing your pussy long and hard. You convulse a little at the pleasure. He watches as you cum because of him, and presses down harder alongside your pussy, making you cum again around him, screaming in pleasure as he fucks you.

He growls into your neck like a wolf and he licks you up the side of your neck, pulling your head back with his hand, to look at him.

“You ready for me?” He asks, fucking you harder than before, removing his hand from your pussy and grabbing your ass hard into him with it.

“Watch as I cum in you, baby.” He said and then drilled his forehead into yours, pinning both your heads into the tile as he moves his other hand to your ass, both hands now under your thighs, pull them around your waste and drill into you, hard and fast, over and over.

There is so much pressure it feels like you might break through the wall, you are crying out in pleasure as he fucks you so good.

“Yeah baby. Cum inside me baby.” You cry out, digging your heels into him, pushing him harder into you, loving him inside you.

You feel yourself building up again.

He stares at you seriously, as he thrusts strategically with every pump, seeing that you are ready to cum for him again, he tries to pump slowly without cumming before you. One thrust, you moan, he slowly shakes into you, hitting your clit with his core, while inside you. He thrusts like this in a slow rhythm, trying to control himself, he sees you start nodding in approval and slowly picks up the pace, while keeping the pressure on your pussy,

“Yeah baby! Just like that, please!!” You cry out and he continues his hard rhythm into you. You open your eyes and grab his face, pulling his mouth back into you as he thrusted into you over and over, harder and harder.

“Fuck yes, baby!! I’m cumming so hard!!” You scream out, leaning your head back and crying out in pleasure, experiencing the most intense orgasm of your life.

Daryl felt you cum, for the third time, and around him so hard. He smacked your ass as you came and thrust into you harshly over and over, as fast as you have ever felt, and you felt him cry out into your mouth.

“Fuck Baby!!” He said as his tongue swirled around yours in appreciation, as he explodes inside you, thrusting rough and deep into you as he cums, growling in pleasure.

He breaks his mouth from yours and kisses down your neck, before looking up at you. He smirked, pushing himself a little deeper into you. You moan as he pushes into you long and hard. You groan at him, still riding your high and pull his hair back to gain access to his mouth on your neck.

He pulls out of you and continues to devour your mouth, happily.

“That was so fucking good.” You say in between kisses.

As your highs die down, you both begin to feel and enjoy the warm water flowing down onto you both. You reach out, grabbing a clean washcloth from the sink, and a bar of soap you had set up. You lean back in to the shower, closing the door again, you begin to wet and suds the cloth. Looking at Daryl who smirks at you.

“I’m gonna wash you down real good.” You say in a sexy tone and snake your body under his arm, forcing him to turn around as you switch places in the shower, shoving him under the waterfall of warm water. The liquid flooded his hair, face, shoulder, chest, dick, legs, down to his feet. He closed his eyes in pleasure for moment, taking it in, before looking back at you.

You smile at him admiring his reaction, “Enjoy it, baby.” You say before continuing to suds the cloth up. You lean back on the opposite side of the shower stall and begin to suds up your own body, starting with your shoulders and neck, moving down to your sternum, to your breasts, you lean your head up and close your eyes as you feel yourself. You hear Daryl growl and your eyes snap open, he is eye fucking you, growing hard again, watching you wash yourself off. 

You bring the cloth away from yourself and walk toward him, crashing the cloth down on his chest and drudging it up and down, and then up and down his muscular arm, doing the same with his other arm. You snake your hand around his waist and begin to rub the fabric up and down his long, muscular back and shoulders, bringing it up to his neck. You twist your other hand around him, putting the soap onto the fabric again and rubbing it harshly, causing friction and more suds, you bring the cloth up to the back of his neck, then bringing your hands to rest on the front of his chest. You begin to rub the right-side of his neck, to the nape, and over to the left-side. He moved his head along with your fingertips motion, to allow you all the access you wanted from him. You bring the cloth up to his face, slowly tracing every inch of it, his forehead, his cheeks, down his nose and across his lips. You watch the cloth hit his lips and you lick yours, missing the feeling of them on you. He looks at you and smirks, pulling you into him, crashing his lips back into yours. He shoves his tongue inside of you again and begins to swirl it around yours, roughly.

You moan in delight, almost dropping the washcloth in the process, you catch it and bring it down to his ass, where you massage it into him, snaking it all around his backside and over to his hip, you rub feverishly, working your way to his cock, which is fully erect again. You use the cloth in your hand and pump his dick up and down a few times, making him moan into your mouth.

You drop the wash cloth, needing to feel him in your bare hands. You bring your hand back up to his dick and wrap it around, as he throbs under your touch. He moans again and kisses you even rougher, clanging his teeth into yours for a moment, feeling your hand grip around him.

You move your hand up and down a few times, staring at him as you enjoy his reaction. You smile, undoing your lips from him and taking a step back. You coyly push him back against the wall and begin to kiss and lick down his neck, sternum, stomach, until you are kneeling down in the shower, as the water pours down on his body. You kneel down in front of his huge cock and lick your lips. You look up at him and smile as he awaits your mouth, the look of want and need in his eyes are enough to make you want to touch yourself, but you focus on his cock in front of you.

You slowly lick up and down his shaft, slowly, tasting all of him. You swirl your tongue around his tip as you come back up him, making his hips arch into your face. You smile and slowly put his tip into your mouth, painstakingly sliding his cock down your throat, until it hits the back. You stop and slowly move him back out of your mouth, swirling at his tip again, as he exists you.

“Fuck Y/N!” He groans to himself, his eyes closed, loving the feel of your mouth around him.

You shoves his cock back into your mouth again, this time faster, you bob your head up and down him, his dick hitting the back of your throat harsher each time as he thrust into you in response. He put his hands in your hair and begins to thrust you into him, finding his own rhythm. You obey and continue to suck him off, bobbing your head in sync with his hand as it pulls your mouth over him, back and forth harshly.

You moan slightly, feeling yourself getting wet, your hand roams down between your legs and you start to rub your clit around and around harshly. You moan over him at the sensation of you getting yourself off. You look up at him as he thrusts your mouth over his cock and see he is staring down at you, eye fucking you again. He watches with low, lustful eyes as you play with your clit while sucking on his cock. He growls and shoves you deeper onto his cock, forcing you to gag a little. Your eyes roll back in your head and you regain your focus, rubbing over and over on your clit and sticking a finger inside yourself, darting it in and out, moaning onto his cock at the feeling.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum!” He cries out, shooting his head back and shoving you into him harder and harder. You suck, lick, and swirl around him, and shove him into you as hard and long as you can. You feel his hand erratically begin to thrust you over him, harder and harder until he slams you into him one more time and explodes down your throat. You swallow every sweet drop of his cum, licking and sucking your way up him, as his cock twitches in your mouth. His hand remains in your hair, softly caressing it as you lap up all of him in your mouth.

“Fuck! Take it!” He cries out in pleasure. You moan in pleasure as you lick up his cock. He tasted so fucking good. You thought as you lapped him up. While rubbing yourself harder and faster, you groan to yourself as you come all over your own hand. You remove him from your mouth when you are done, smiling up at him. He growls and looks at you with serious eyes.

“Fuck. I missed you too.” He growls, grabbing your hair pulling your head back.

You stand up and crash your lips back into his.

It went on this way for the next few days, you barely left your bedroom, finding every excuse to memorize each other in every way. When he wasn’t making you cum over and over, he was making you laugh with his idiosyncrasies, or holding you in suspense with the stories of him killing walkers and all the horrible people him and his group had faced and triumphed over.

You told him about your shitty, boring life in this hellhole your dad called home and how you wanted more than anything to be on your own. Whenever you described how miserable you were here he would reach over and put his big hand on your cheek and caress your skin, looking at you sadly, and placing a gently kiss on your forehead. You loved that.

When you did have to occasionally leave the room, for things like food and water, he always made a show of it. Puffing his chest out in his black shirt, walking in front of you, looking seriously at everyone he passed. He bumped Dwight on the shoulder every chance he got. Dwight of course just took it, looking down angrily, and walking swiftly away from the two of you. One day, Daryl stopped him, grabbing him by a familiar vest.

“Hey. Take this shit off.” He commanded.

You smirk a little to yourself, you loved his aggressive side. Dwight looked at you, questioning.

“You heard the man.” You say simply and gesture to Dwight, to take the vest off.

Dwight sighs and looks down, not wanting to know how many of the other Saviors were watching him be emasculated, by a prisoner of all people.

He rips the vest off and throws it at Daryl’s chest, Daryl catches it, and glares are the man.

“I’ll be back for my crossbow.” He says lowly, pushing his face into Dwight’s looking over him dominantly.

Daryl turns around, smirking a little at you, before nodding to you. You smile back and turn around, walking back up the stairs to your safe haven.

You began to lose track of time around the fourth day your father had been gone. It was so hard to concentrate with this man on top of you and his tongue all over you.

You cried out in pleasure as he pushes himself into you, you lost track of how many times he had made you feel this good, you just knew you were always ready for him. You nibble on the side of his ear, sucking up and down his neck harshly, as he pushes his cock into you long and hard.

“Yeah baby! Just like that!” You moan into his ear, digging your heels, that are wrapped around his back, into his skin harder as he thrusts into you, over and over. He growls wildly as he begins to fuck you harder, grabbing your ass and smacking it a little as he does.

“Yes!!” You cry out and push your hands into his back, pulling him closer into you.

He pushes you back hard into the bed and you drop your hands, falling in compliance. He stares down at you.

“I wanna watch you cum.” He says and grabs your hips with both hands, guiding your hips up into him, showing you his new rhythm. You cry out in pleasure, shooting your head back, as you find his pace and he slams up into you harder and harder, slamming pressure onto your clit with every thrust. You hear the headboard of the bed slamming against the wall, over and over, faster and faster, as he hits into you over and over. You hear him growl and groan as he fucks you so hard, you feel him slam into you again and again, and you feel yourself coming close to release.

“Fuck yeah, baby! Harder!” You cry out. He grabs the back of the headboard with both hands, removing them from your hips. He begins to fuck you so hard, the entire bed shakes. He thrusts into you harshly and fast, again and again.

You scream out in pleasure as he hits your clit with such intensity. You cum with him inside you, fucking the shit out of you.

“Fuck! Yes!! Make me cum! Just like that!” You cry out cumming around his throbbing cock as he slams into you.

He growls feeling you cum around his cock. He thrusts harder and harder, thrusting long and hard a few more times before exploding inside you.

“Fuck! Yeah! Y/N!” He cries out as you slam your hips into his as he cums into you, thrusting wildly.

You groan in pleasure, keeping your legs pinned behind him, trying to feel all of him inside of you for a few seconds longer. He pulls out and lays down on top of you, resting his head on the side of your neck, licking you up and down a little, before placing a rough kiss on your skin.

You smile down at him, wrapping your arms around him. You are both covered in sweet sweat and your hearts pound into each other. Your breathing returns to normal soon and you close your eyes, falling asleep with this amazing man pressed on top of you.

You slept through the night together and before you knew it the first rays of dawn began to dance across your window pane. You awoke early and smiled to yourself as you watched Daryl sleep soundly next to you. You wanted to do something special for him, so you got up, got dressed, and headed down to the kitchen to make you two some breakfast.

You tip toed down the stairs, one after the other, descending past the mostly still asleep servants, and down to the basement. You passed the cells that your man had once been trapped in, and to the locked double doors of the kitchen. You pull the keys your father had given you out of your pocket and slammed them quietly into the lock, twisting and turning until it popped open. You unwrapped the chains and let them fall to the side, as you pulled the double doors open. You walked into the dining hall, shut the doors behind you, and skipped happily to the kitchen.

You throw your hair in a messy ponytail and put a skillet on the stove, using a match to light the pilot light, while turning the knob on the side, a flame roared to life under the burner. You cracked a couple of eggs into the iron skillet and watched as they started to sizzle. You flipped the eggs a couple of times and threw them on a plate nearby. You shut off the flame and your eyes searched around the room, you smiled and grabbed a couple of whole peaches from a full basket that was resting on the counter. You grabbed a couple of bottles of water, tucking them under your arm, grabbing the plate of food, two forks, and headed out the door.

You sat your food down quickly to lock up again, before grabbing the plate and bottles again, and tip toeing back up the stairs, through the servants quarters and back up to your room. You slowly opened the door, looking at the bed, it was empty. You walked in into the room, closer to the bed and heard the door slam shut behind you. You spin around, almost dropping the plate in your hand, and see Daryl standing there with a smirk.

“You scared me!” You giggle a little before throwing the plate and the water bottles on the table next to you.

“Sort of the point.” He smirked, wiggling his eyebrow a little and rushed toward you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his mouth again. After a long intense kiss, you were left breathless again, as he moved his lips to your neck, sucking and swirling around your skin.

“I… I made you breakfast…” You say, trying to control your breathing, you loved the feel of his lips on your body, it made all sense of reason fade.

“Later.” He says, pushing you both back down to the bed.

—–

You stayed in bed all day, memorizing every inch of each other, he loved to run his fingertips up and down your body, watching you moan out to him in pleasure. He loved to watch you come undone at the sound of his lips in your ear, as he whispered all the things he wanted to do to you. He loved to touch you in all the right places and watch you cry out in need. He loved to be inside you, making you cum over and over again, watching you scream out his name in satisfaction. He loved every part of you.

You felt the same, you’d never thought you’d crave one person’s touch so much, just the thought of him touching you and kissing you all over made you want to touch yourself. Just watching him stare you down across the room, made you want to run over to him and be wrapped in his arms. You always felt he was too far away if he was not touching you in some way. You loved the feel of his lips all over you, devouring every inch. You loved how he moaned out your name right before he explodes inside of you. You loved how he smiled so softly at you before he closed his eyes and drifted off to asleep. You don’t know how it happened, but this had been the best week of your life and you ached for even more of him.

It was getting closer toward dinner when you heard a familiar engine rumble, you shoot up in your bed, only a sheet is covering your naked body. You grab the sheet around you, leaving Daryl naked on the bed, staring at you in confusion. You walk to your window and see your father’s vehicle driving in, headlights on, as the sun sets in the distance.

“Fuck. He’s back.” You say and throw Daryl his new clothes. “Put those on.” You say and begin to grab your own clothes that were scattered to every corner of the room, from earlier events. Daryl stands up quickly and tugs on his clothes, pulling the black denim jeans over his hips, zipping and buttoning up, and then throwing on the black t-shirt, covering his chest, much to your dismay. He grabbed his socks and throw them over his large feet, sitting down on the bed to shove his feet into the boots that were sitting by his side of the bed.

You quickly slide into some panties, throw on and clasp your bra, shake out your jeans, slamming your legs into them, quickly shimmying them up, zipping and buttoning them closed. You throw on your white t-shirt, and quickly throw your hair into a ponytail. You look down and grab the sheet that is by your feet, throwing it to Daryl who quickly throws it over the bed, smoothing the fabric out, you throw him one side of a blanket that had spent most of the past few days on the floor, and you both lifted it up and gently placed it on the bed, tucking in the sides.

You quickly ran over and crashed your lips into his, you had to taste him one last time. He grabbed you into him passionately, and devoured your lips into his, swirling his tongue around yours over and over. He broke the kiss and looked at you with love in his eyes, he brought his hand up to your cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. He looked like he wanted to say something, he started to move his lips, when you heard a loud bang on your door.

“Y/N! Let me in!” Negan’s booming voice came from the other side of the door.

Your heart jumped at the sound of your father’s fist on your door, but you took a deep breath and composed yourself, trying hard to find the sarcastic bitch inside yourself.

“Coming, Dad…” You groan and roll your eyes.

You walk over and unlock the deadbolt, you open the door and find your father’s smiling face on the other side.

“Hey, kiddo!” He shouts and leans back, opening his arms for a hug.

“Hey Dad…” You say quietly and wrap your arms around him for a short hug. You detach from him and he tussles your hair, you groan and begin to fix the damage. He does not notice and walks around you, into your room, looking straight ahead at Daryl, who is standing still against your back wall, on his side of the bed. He stares stoically at Negan and then picks a spot on the wall to stare down.

Negan laughs and walks in, sauntering around your room. He drags his index finger, inside his black glove, over your table, to your dresser, to the back wall, dragging it across the surface until he meets Daryl. He lifts his finger from the back wall and brings it in front of Daryl’s chest, pushing it into him harshly.

“You.” He says shortly and stares at Daryl with a playful look in his eyes, waiting for Daryl to react, when he doesn’t Negan smirks and turns his head back to look at you.

“How did Dar-yl, do this week, Y/N?” He asks, excitedly. “I hope he was a good little doggy.” He says, laughing back into Daryl’s face.

You roll your eyes at your father’s words. “Jesus, Dad. Lay off. He did… he was a great help.” You say sounding oddly optimistic. Your father paused at your change in demeanor and behavior. You wiped the smile off your face and tried to remain stoic. Calm your shit. You order yourself in your head, taking a deep breath trying to calm your nerves.

Negan looks at you as you recompose yourself, he shakes off your odd behavior, and smiles, taking in your words.

“Well Holy Hell! Is this man finally ready to step up and be a team player?!” Negan asks out loud to himself, his voice booming.

“Not sure he wants to be one of your butt monkeys, dad. He likes protecting people. Not sure that will quite fit with your murderous overtones around here.” You scoff, turning a chair in their direction and plopping down on it.

“Easy, Y/N. That murderous shit pays for all this.” He says gesturing to your room and belongings.

You could get into that right now, but decide against it. You look at Daryl who is staring straight ahead, not saying a word, as Negan breathes down his neck.

“What do you think we should do with him, then?” He asks you, staring Daryl up and down.

“Well, I sure have been enjoying not having to watch my back every time I step out of here. I’ll keep him.” You smile to yourself, butterflies dance around in your stomach.

Negan nodded, “For now.” He breaks eye contact with Daryl and begins to walk over to the door, he stops and grabs your chin, staring you in the eyes, searching for the thing he couldn’t put his finger on. He knew there was something you weren’t telling him. You stared at him, putting all the innocence you had into your gaze. He seemed satisfied and dropped his hand.

“Dinner’s in an hour.” He said and you nod.

Negan glares back at Daryl, who has remained still, and then heads out the door.

You slam the door shut and lock it. You run over to Daryl, wrap your arms around him and begin to devour his lips again. He pulls you up into his arms, wraps your legs around his waist, and drives you both back onto the bed. He breaks his kiss and stares into your eyes, “What are we doing?” He asks, moving your hair to the side, to view your eyes better.

You bite your lip, your heart racing, every inch of you on fire for his touch again. “I don’t know. But I don’t want to stop.” You say and pull his lips back into yours, he groans as he slides back on top of you, tasting you wherever he could.

“Daryl!” You cry out in pleasure as he starts to undress you.

—–

You sat down across from your father, trying to look a serious as you could. You tried to push the thoughts of what the man standing behind you had done to you just minutes earlier. You rubbed your face, hoping it wasn’t red, and smoothed down your messy hair. Daryl stood behind you staring blankly ahead on the wall, he too was trying to think of anything but how he had just made her cry out for him, over and over again. He cleared his throat, trying to push the thoughts aside.

Negan sat down across from you and stared back at Daryl, he looked Daryl up and down, suddenly realizing that Daryl’s infamous outfit was gone.

“Fuck Y/N. Did you give him my shit to wear??” He asked a little angry.

You scoffed, “Well, I couldn’t very well have him escorting me around in that dirty piece of shit he was wearing! I have standards you know dad?” You say jokingly, crossing your arms in defense.

He nodded after a moment, understanding your position.

“Fair enough.” He stated simply. You watch as Timothy walks in and pours your father some wine, he walks over to you and you nod to him, he fills your glass as well. He nods and heads out the door. He comes back minutes later, carrying two plates, on them are some steamed carrots, potatoes, and a couple of pieces of roast. The Sanctuary raised livestock that your father had confiscated from another group, so every once in a while meat was abundant. You breathe in the scent realizing how hungry you are, you had barely come up for air the past few days, too busy devouring Daryl’s body. Your mind races over more thoughts of you two and you stare absentmindedly at your plate.

“What’s the matter with it?” Negan asks, watching you with a questioning look on his face.

You snap out of your dirty thoughts and look up at him, embarrassed. “Sorry, I was just… Nothing. It looks great!” You say, trying to sound thrilled. You stab your fork into a carrot and raise it to your lips, you chew it up and swallow it.

You notice your father still has his eyes on you and suddenly his mouth drops a little.

“Well, I’ll be…” He says and smirks a little to himself.

“Is it true that my little girl has finally found a man to her liking?!” He shouts out, loudly.

You look at him in confusion, “What?… What are you talking about?” You ask.

He runs his finger down his neck, and then points to you, “Looks like someone has been doing some serious damage there.”

Shit. You must have had marks on you, you hadn’t even noticed. Undone by a hickey. Nice going Y/N. You say to yourself, angrily.

Negan laughs to himself, finding the situation thoroughly amusing, apparently. You reach up and cover your neck, as if somehow that would turn back time. Negan notices and shushes his hand out to you.

“Oh hell, Y/N. Just having a laugh. Relax.” He chuckles.

“So, who is this lucky servant of mine? Possible, son-in-law?” He says, stretching out every syllable as he spoke, with a shit grin on his face.

“I told you I wasn’t interested in any of them.” You said softly, but firm, rubbing your neck uncomfortably. You didn’t know if you should lie or not, but every part of your being wanted him beside you again, touching you.

Negan stared at you in anticipation. “Well, if not one of them, then who?” He asked, awaiting your response. You froze, unsure of what to do.

Suddenly, Daryl steps forward and puts his hand firmly on your shoulder, staring Negan directly in the eyes.

Negan’s eyes turn from playful to storm clouds in a matter of seconds as he puts the situation together. You reach up and put your hand over Daryl’s, looking a little afraid toward your father.

“I found a man that I want, dad. I didn’t expect it to happen, it just did…” You trail off, rubbing your hand over Daryl’s.

“What the fuck do you mean Y/N?!? How the fuck…” He stands up and paces angrily around the room.

“Timothy! Get Lucille now!” Negan louds out the door and storms back in pacing up and down the room.

You stand up, kick your chair to the side, and stand with your back buried in Daryl’s chest, pushing you both to the wall, until Daryl’s back slams against it, putting your body in front of his defensively.

“No, Dad! You aren’t going to hurt him!” You say, tears forming in your eyes, you try and choke them down, you try and remain tough.

“The fuck if I’m not! I ask him to watch over you and he takes that to mean, ‘Go Fuck My Daughter’??” He screams angrily and paces up and down some more.

“Dad! It was my choice, I started it. It wasn’t his fault… And it’s more than that, I think… I think, I love him.” You finish your sentence softly and look down, realizing this for the first time yourself. You feel Daryl wrap his arms around you, hugging you into him slightly, at your words.

Negan stops pacing and looks you in the eye, he had never seen you look this way, ever in your life. Hell if he didn’t know any better, he could have swore you were telling the truth. It was the same look your mother used to give him before she was infected. He missed her every day, but was comforted knowing his daughter was so much like her. He was startled when Timothy ran in, bat in hand, reaching it out to Negan.

Negan sighed, shook his head, and gestured it away. “Nevermind. Put her back.” He said. Timothy obeyed.

Negan walked back over to you two and looked you in the eye, Daryl dropped his arms and you stepped forward to meet your father.

He looked at you softly. “If this is really what you want Y/N, I’ll try to be okay with it. But if he hurts you…” He rambles off tightening his jaw.

You smile up at him and peck his cheek, “He’s not the type, dad.” You say happily. You turn back around and smile at Daryl who is looking questioningly at you both, not sure if he can relax or not. You smile and grab his hand, pulling him closer to you and your father.

You push Daryl’s hand out and grab your father’s and do the same.

“Daryl, this is my father. Dad, this is Daryl.” You say and they shake hands.

“Nice to meet you, Daryl.” Negan says, with respect for Daryl in his voice, for the very first time.

anonymous asked:

Do you think, if they survive the second apocalypse and the end of the show, that Clarke and Bellamy could ever have a family? How do you see each of them handling parenthood?

This has been sitting in my inbox forever, mostly because parenting and to have/to not have kids is a topic that risks alienating people and it is so difficult to talk about without someone feeling like you’re shitting on their choices and I have not had the brainpower recently to navigate it. However, @wellamyblake‘s awesomely morose headcanon on this subject (I loved it. I cried. I loved it some more and then yearned for fluff) has inspired me to put digit to keyboard at last.

This may border on fluff. You have been warned, but WE ALL NEED HAPPINESS RIGHT.

Disclaimers out the way first, because this stuff is important.  Women in all walks of life face so much pressure to have kids and it annoys me immensely that happy story endings for ladies almost always involve children somehow, even if a female protagonist has repeatedly said she doesn’t want to procreate (I’m looking at you Suzanne Collins). THAT SAID, it also annoys me immensely that parenting is repeatedly shat on as a lesser (i.e. feminine) choice more generally, as in bringing up other humans could not possibly compare to the Very Important Man Jobs that also make the world go round, and I wish that parenting and its associated joys and terrors were tackled more frequently in the media more generally.

You see the minefield we’re dealing with here.  (Sidebar: my feminism is undoubtedly not what you were after with this ask but I offer no apologies for delving into it.  THIS STUFF MATTERS.)

So what follows is just my read of Bellamy and Clarke and my own personal headcanon – no more valid than anyone else’s – and is inevitably coloured by my own experience as a parent.

OK, so the question at hand. Could I see Bellarke family? The short answer is YES PLZ, because my beautiful space babies have been through so much and I would dearly, dearly love for them to have a shot at family life after everything they’ve been through, and to reap the rewards thereof. Not actually in-show, mind you (JASON NO), but this is what my headcanon looks like.

I’m going to reference MJ throughout because her headcanon was so beautifully put together and I super agree with lots of it. Bellarke’s legacy will absolutely be cemented in the lives they’ve saved over and over again and I don’t think Bellarke kids would be relevant to their legacy per se. So too, Bellarke’s legacy will exist in the found family they have amongst the delinquents.

But honestly, I think that having a family would be something selfish, just for them and just about them as a couple, and that’s what I like about it so much after all the sacrifices they’ve made for their people.

Let’s rewind for a second. Why would Bellamy and Clarke even want kids?  Well so much of it for me is bound up in their respective childhoods. Bellamy’s family life was clearly very important to him.  He loves his sister. He loved his mother very much too. It is this love from which he derived so much of his strength in impossible conditions in the Ark, and later on the ground. In fact, Bellamy is basically made of familial love – the love for his actual family, his love for his found family, and his love for the various waifs and strays he picks up on the way (Charlotte and, *cough* Riley).  How awesome would it be for him to have a family on his own terms?  A family which he chose to have (rather than foisted upon him), with the woman he loves? The thought of it warms my tired, grizzled heart to a veritable furnace.

Need I mention this:

Originally posted by stiles-lydia

Clarke’s situation is slightly more complex, as biologically she would bear the initial brunt of parenthood, and let’s face it, Clarke is a person with Shit To Do. But in my headcanon, Clarke is tired of saving the world, ready to try something different even if it’s just for a little while, and take on a challenge of a different nature. And my girl NEVER shies away from a challenge if it’s something she wants. I get the impression that Clarke’s childhood was relatively happy, and I think Clarke, like many people, would like to recreate that childhood happiness for someone else with someone she loves.

Also this

Originally posted by alexmaggie

And just, drawing from my own experience, having a family together is about building a life together, and while achieving that through kids is not the right thing for everybody, I think Bellamy and Clarke’s depleted family connections and unique situation would drive them to create something new in their own image.

Now, MJ made the absolutely valid point that Bellamy and Clarke wouldn’t feel worthy of passing on their legacy via the gene pool, having had  hand in circa 1,600 deaths between them. This is 100% fair, but one thing about being a parent is this: you want better for your children than you had for yourself.  You want your children to be BETTER THAN YOU. You want to pass on the wisdom gained from the mistakes you’ve made so that they don’t make them.  And Bellamy and Clarke, who have made so many mistakes and had the courage to face them all, would have more than a little invested in passing on their wisdom to a second generation of Skaikru.

As for how they’d handle it. Well parenthood is and always has been about sacrifice, but (where it is a choice) it is also a selfish thing too – about bringing life into the world partly for your own benefit. And who knows more about sacrifice, or deserves more selfish pleasure than Bellarke? What’s more it has always struck me that Bellamy and Clarke are both naturally very affectionate people.  They enjoy lavishing love and affection on people and receiving in return. Again, own family, own terms.

And most importantly, Bellamy and Clarke have each other. They are a team. Bellamy may struggle with letting his impulses get the better of him, or expressing himself; Clarke may struggle with relating to those she loves, but between them they’ll muddle through because they always have and they always will.

(Before embarking on yet another sacrificial journey though, both Bellamy and Clarke deserve a long, long rest of several years, just them, spending lots of time together lounging in long grass, swimming in lakes and screwing in caves. Just have a look at the fanfic, OK? It’s all there.)

I warned you about the fluff. Now I’m embarrassed and I’m going to shove my face in a cushion until you all go away and stop looking at me.

Alternate Samurai Jack Season 5 ending (SPOILERS)

For those who weren’t feeling the Gurren Lagann ending.

Likened to the show, Aku rains death down on everyone, the 300 and 1, and Scottsman’s daughters even are looking like they will die, and some of them are wounded to the point of it.

Aku cackles in victory as the last piece of the puzzle is laid waste at his feet, Ashi is about to deliver the final blow to Jack.

It’s then that like in the show, his words “I love you” trigger something in her to find strength enough to resist him. She defends Jack and counters Aku with his own power.

She regains the sword for Jack and creates a portal in time upon the revelation of the ability to wield darkness like he can.

Aku tries to stop him but he slashes him hurting him, and…although Jack doesn’t notice it, Ashi winces as well, but ignores this.

Either way they both jump through the portal.

But Aku noticed, and as they vanish, in thought, he finally cackles again, knowing what’s to come. He knows he still will win, even in the past.

“Foolish Samurai!” he bellows as the rest of the legions of the resistance look up at him in confusion as to what he means, except for Scottsman; The Scottsman spoke to Jack of who has his heart, and knows what waits Jack in the past.

Scottsman:“Oh…laddie….” he says in remorse.

Jack and Ashi arrive in the past moments after Aku has banished the previous Jack, shocked at his soon return.

They do battle again, this time on the roof tops of the castle Aku has possessed, and Ashi fights with him.

Aku:“What?” -while fighting- “Who is this ingrate….who dares challenge me…along with you- ? I can tell by your scent you are a creature of mine!”

Ashi:“I am Ashi, and you will not wield me any longer, I am free of your sorcery and your hold on me…”

Jack:“You will never hurt her again…”

He strikes Aku down to the ground again like he did all those years ago, at his mercy, no energy in him again for another time portal to cowardly escape his fate.

But….

Now, Aku realizes she is birthed of his black magic, and cackles victoriously, Ashi is confused but it chills Jack to the bone.

Aku:“No , but…YOU will, foolish Samurai…”

Jack’s hands shake holding the sword.

Ashi:“What? What is it?”

Aku:“He has realized, if you are indeed my daughter, from the future…however that came about…what will happen to you, if HE slays ME…”

Jack:“……………..No…..”

Aku:“Defeat me at the cost of the life of your friend…destroy her, she means nothing to me….but to you? HA! She means everything, I sense it with every shiver down your spine samurai….”

Jack roars loud enough to be heard across the valley.

Aku:“Ahahahahahaha! One way or another Samurai, I win. You have a choice to make…throw in with me….or let me escape to my own devices, far from here…and i will let her live in happiness with you…or condemn your friend whom you love to death…”

That’s where the ghost’s of his ancestors or the samurai appear again.

They tell him, do it anyway.

They say it was his time to FINALLY kill Aku, and fulfill his purpose but he refuses again, and they warn him if he doesn’t, if he refused as he did before which lost him his magic sword in the first place, Aku will still reign and all will be undone.

Jack:“my sword will not kill an innocent!”

Ancestor:“She is no innocent Jack, she is a killer and part of Aku. Lord of Darkness! It is the only way:”

Jack:“No! It CANT be the only way, I won’t let it!”

Ancestor:“Has your time in the future filled you with such arrogance? Ungrateful one! You dishonor your fathers memory! Destroy Aku, restore balance to our world!”

Jack:“Arrogance? Arrogance! I was the one who gave up everything to learn to kill Aku, I was the one who went 50 years into the past and experienced the countless lives lost, trying to save "your world” as well as mine! Who lost my father, and my mother to this madness. I have been going mad for the sake of everyone and you call me ungrateful! You do not know my father if you believe questioning this would dishonor him!“

Female Ancestor:"Jack….your fathers sacrifice will still be in vain, all the same if you do not…”

Ashi puts a hand on his shaking shoulder.

Aku just chuckles to himself and begins to crawl away while he’s distracted.

Ashi:“Jack, it’s alright …I’m not worth it! Save the world…save your family…I’m part of Aku, they’re part of you, like your sword…”

Another portion of Aku forms a bow and aims it at Jack while he’s distracted.

Jack:“Your part of me too Ashi….I can’t - wait…that’s it!”
He suddenly springs into action. He slices the arrow in two, running full tilt after Aku. Aku tries to flee but Ashi, not missing a beat, uses her power to keep him steady.“

Aku:"No! Daughter! My child! What are you doing! Let me go! Release me or we will both die! We will cease to exiiiiiiiiiiiiiist-”

He’s struck down and banished from the world forever, and it resounds across Japan. Ashi wails and falls to the ground clutching her gut.

His tower falls , everyone cheers, Jack emerges from the ashes, everyone cheers louder.

“It’s Jack, he came back to the past!”

“The shoguns son has returned!”

“He saved us all!”

“There is his magic sword!”

“Hurrah for Jack!!”

But he runs past everyone carrying her weak body.

She gets weaker and weaker and wakes up on the back of a horse with him with the sky starry and dark above them.

Ashi:“You did it Jack…*cough* you killed Aku..you saved the past…*cough*.go back to your people, let me go…”

A bit of her fades.

Jack:“I vowed to not to kill just Aku, but to save everyone from his evil…that is what I will do now.”

She blacks out seeing her body fading a little more.


Finally She looks up and sees them in the temple where the sword was forged. He hold up the sword above her after putting her on the smithing alter.

The three Gods Appear.

Gods:“You have come to return the sword…or claim it for another time of need…”

Jack:“Neither.”

Gods:“What.”

Jack:“I do not relinquish it back to you.”

Vishnu God:“Your journey is done your mission is completed you have no need for it now.”

Set God:“it is not an item for decoration, for your hall of samurai, it is a living embodiment, and must be honored until called for again.”

Jack:“True, yet untrue, I still need it for one more thing. It is forged with the spirit of humanity, with the strength of my father, the love of my mother, and all our ancestors… in the end it was enough to save the world, and to slay Aku…”

Ashi:“Jack- *cough*…please…”

Jack:“….so it must be enough also, to replace him.”

Odin God:“You would give up the most priceless weapon on earth of unimaginable power, and good…”

Vishnu God:“When it could be used to prevent further dangers that may arise?”

Set God:”To win countless battles?”

Jack:“I would. It’s last sword swing will save a life, not take it.”

Set God:“….He truly is chosen…”

Odin God:“It is done…the darkness in her is now displaced with light that she may live…without it…”

-the sword turns with light and descends into Ashi as darkness seeps out of her and fades away like ash-

Gods:“Your sword will truly be by your side for all time.”

Jack holds her hand as she cries out shaking until the transfer and merging is complete.  Finally she opens her eyes, the glow in them leaving and turning to normal. She looks up at Jack.

Ashi:“….Jack….”

Jack:“It is fitting as you were the one who helped me to kill a Final blow to Aku. And were at my side and helped me find my way when it was not…”

We cut then to the wedding ceremony where she is walked down the Isle to the Daimyo Lord; Jack the Samurai who saved the world.

We pass by a tapestry depicting Jack as a child with his parents…and then One with him as the Lord, with Ashi, and their princes and princesses.

Finally we go outside to the hill under the same red leafed tree, where we find them old, and grey, holding out their hands for lady bugs.

END

Calling it Hope

Summary: Abby misses Marcus after returning from Polis, so she seeks comfort in his room, his trinkets, his clothes. Of course, because she’s back in Arkadia, nothing is ever really private…and she learns some news that changes everything for her and the man she loves. 

(Translated, my Abby/Raven brotp feelings got away from me and I cried three times while writing this and it’ll probably have another chapter).


Everything looked like him, smelled like him, felt like him.

From the trinkets on his bedside table to the paintings on the wall, Abby could practically sense Marcus Kane in the room. She could see him sitting in the chair at his small metal table poring over maps of the surrounding area, laying in bed reading one of the numerous books from his amassed quantity on his bookshelf, gently hanging his guard jacket on the hook on the back of the door.

He was everywhere and nowhere, with her and in Polis.

Some logical part of her knew it was silly, girlish even, to come wandering into his room in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep. What was she, a lovesick teenager? She’d only returned from Polis that morning, could still taste their goodbye kiss on her tongue. His “may we meet again” still echoed in her heart, her head, written into her pulse. A few hours was by no means enough to stir the deepest depths of absence-induced longing in her heart, but it was enough to make her uncomfortable: enough to drive her thoughts back along the path she’d travelled and up into their room in the tower.

What was he doing right now? Had Roan fought and won? Was the alliance still intact? And if it wasn’t, had he, Octavia, and Indra gotten out of the city safely?

Again, logic: there was little merit in giving weight to unfounded questions and doubts. But with Luna’s arrival – and illness – it had been a chaotic day, and Abby had quickly begun tiring of reining in her wayward brain. Her exhaustion pushed her doubts into a downward spiral, and a constant, nagging churning in her stomach hadn’t subsided since she heard the Polis gates close behind her. It had become increasingly difficult to force herself to remain sensible where Marcus Kane was concerned.

Such ruminations would be typical of the kids – of Monty and Harper, maybe, whom she’d just learned were in a relationship – but she was a grown woman, well past having learned how to cope with the absence of the man she loved. She constantly reminded herself that Marcus was fine, that this was by no means the first time they’d been separated, that they’d been parted during far more strenuous times in the past. All things considered, this separation should have given her less cause to worry than the others.

And yet, when she woke from a hellacious City of Light flashback of a nightmare, there was only one person she wanted to see. One man whose arms she wished were around her, one voice she wanted to hear soothing her as she briefly struggled to see through the hazy mirage of dreams. But her bed was empty, the sheets around her cold with his absence, her skin cool without the warmth of him beside her. As she took a seat in one of the cold metal chairs at his table and rested her elbows on the surface – then her head in her hands – she took deep breaths and tried to shove the tears searing at the corners of her eyes into submission.

It may have been late – later than almost anyone else in Arkadia would be awake – but she’d left the door open out of an informal self-reassurance. She couldn’t give into this now: not when they’d only been separated for less than a day. She just needed to be here, she told herself, for a few minutes. To feel him for long enough to calm her racing heartbeat, to absorb the remnants of his smile and laughter that remained in those stationary objects. Being here was like sitting in the sunlight; she felt safe, warm, hopeful.

When she was here, she was with Marcus.

Keep reading

MITSU’S TOP TEN ANIME OF 2016

Wow what a shit year! Not for anime, I mean, it was okay at worst. I think we’re definitely at the upward slope of the anime renaissance now, but still at the very start of it. It’s hard to think about that when most of what comes out (and is somehow popular) is just…the most generic shit. Well, I did the work for you. I weeded and trudged through some of the worst anime around and even some of my shit favorites to bring you the actual good, worth watching anime of the year.

Yeah, not everything you saw or want to see on this list is here, but you can check my foreword from last week that explains all that garbage. Links to each anime’s respective review will be on the titles (and added for those that just finished). Know that this list is pretty fluid. From 8 or 7 up, it’s all very much I loved them, but the higher up, the more I recommend anyone watch them.

10. Magical Girl Raising Project

Madoka was cool. I finally watched it this year and I was just as blown away by the psychological aspects as I expected to be. It just lacked that extra bite it needed to really scare my pants off. MGRP however, did indeed take a few years off of my life. I’m really in ruins right now since I can grab you by the shoulders and tell you now: you’ll like a lot of these characters and their thought out designs and personalities, but don’t get attached, cus ALMOST ALL OF THEM DIE.

I have to put MGRP on this list because aside from its fun and original designs, awesome interactions, cool-ass premise and execution (sometimes literally), it had some amazing rewatch value. I watched this anime three times, which is a lot to do in one year. I just had to watch people’s reactions and seeing stuff hidden in the background and revisiting some foreshadowing was so much fun. Definitely worth a watch and I’ll cover more about it in my upcoming review.

9. Orange

Regrets, like I have over not putting Kekkai Sensen into last year’s list, are the main theme of Orange. Buried under the shoujo themes of romance, high school, and angst, lies the actual regret: letting a friend kill himself. The main story unfolds itself very slowly as the group of friends discover that is what they must prevent, but it’s done in a realistic way. The signs of depression and suicide are so jokingly cast aside; it’s no wonder people miss it before it’s too late.

The climax of this story was heart-pounding and gut-wrenching. You find yourself rooting so hard for there to be success, to save someone who may not want to be saved, but must be saved. It might also make you pay closer attention to those around you. It’s an important anime to watch. If you do want one with a little less romantic emphasis though, I recommend you see Colorful instead (or also!).

8. Sweetness and Lightning

I need to marry someone who can cook. It doesn’t have to be a five-star chef, though I wouldn’t complain if it were the case, but Sweetness and Lightning reignited my need to be fed well. The show is about how food brings family and friends together. Aside from the great character interactions, well written children characters, and for god’s sake, the beautiful, perfect looking food, this anime was so pure in the amount of love put into it.

The food tops even some shown in Shokugaki no Soma, purely cus it’s doable for someone with a low skill level (like me), the meals are made for picky eaters (like me), and there’s not a ridiculously emphasis put on the orgasmic nature of food. That’s a thing that Shokugeki no Soma and even Koufuku Graffiti used stylistically in a comedic manner, but it doesn’t fit in Sweetness and Lightning for good reason. This show is accessible in that way, making it easier to show to someone who might want to try anime, but doesn’t want all the sexy fanservice.

7.Drifters

Kick-ass and Metal come to mind when Drifters is mentioned. I love Kohta Hirano’s previous work, Hellsing, a lot. It was a massive gore and blood fest with a sprinkling of comedy in the mix. This is a war and gore fest with a, not a sprinkling of comedy, but more like Hirano accidentally knocked the bottle of comedy over when he was checking on the oven directly into said mix. It’s really funny, but also really awesome. I have a lot to say about it in my review, but I think a dog fight with dragons involved kind of state my case for me. Also Elves, Dwarves and other Tolkien demihumans and monsters abound. It’s fun.

The animation is also gorgeous, especially that stylized, graphic novel looking opening theme with the rock anthem “Gospel of the Throttle” making you “NA NA NA NA NA NA” along with the characters every opening. It’s an excellent show to watch with friends or get yourself pumped. Returning sometime next year!

6. Kuromukuro

How can something be so trope-y, yet so damn enjoyable? Kuromukuro isn’t an original concept, but is done in an original way. The samurai trapped in a machine for 500 years is the new exchange student. The reluctant heroine needs to board the mecha to fight the alien threat. The school festival has been compromised by an alien mecha entering the atmosphere. This anime is funny, but it’s also emotional and holds a much wider scope than I ever could have expected. P.A. Works has been putting out some good contenders in the last few years, and with their lovely art style and well-balanced budget, they were able to pull off this massive mech story in an engaging and entertaining way.

I applaud the cast for one of the best ensembles on this list, bringing forth some of the best and most memorable character chemistry of the season, and some hilarious situational humor. I also cried a little near the end, but honestly, a lot of anime on this list did that to me this year.

5. My Hero Academia

Shonen anime is such a delight now, always a favorite of mine as a kid, but not as firmly as now. I love the underdogs; I love the over the top villains; I love the powers, the fights, and the yelling to infinity. It’s just so exciting and blood pumping, and MHA made it so refreshing with such an interesting spin. These characters are children, inexperienced, with quirks that may or may not be useful. I love Deku because his anxieties and general feelings of being less than everyone else not only make it exciting to see him overcome them, but to use them to keep his head and ego from getting over inflated like some shonen protagonists. Bakugo is such a good foil to him, showing where this could be a major weakness to a shonen protagonist.

Also it’s coming back with THE TOURNAMENT ARC, and if you’re like me and haven’t started the manga yet, DO IT! You won’t regret it! I’m more than excited to see more of this awesome anime in action.

4. Flip Flappers

This anime, wow this anime. I’m so upset not more people are talking about it, but have you seen this delight for the senses? I’m looking forward to reviewing it now just because my jaw is still kinda on the floor. Beautiful animation, a crazy cool style, and some of the best nonsense in magical-girl but not really fight scenes I’ve seen in a while. This anime reminds me of something, but I can’t quite put my thumb on it. I do know it’s like an amalgamation of my editor’s anime “TYPE” so you’ll see more about that in the review.

But good lord did I love the heart of this show. The pure romance, the exciting battles, the trippy psychological horror. Let me just say, that one episode (the Maria Watches Over Us “GOKIGENYO”), probably has scarred me for life, but I love it. It’s just so different and good. It deserves a watch, just for how delighted your eyes will be.

3. Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi)

I love a story that can get you emotionally invested and cheering for or yelling at the character who you don’t have any control over. Erased was paced beautifully (though some might disagree due to the slight differences in adaptation), and its animation only made every silent, tender moment more enjoyable to look at before the lighting and mood would change and the feeling of bloodlust would stain the air. That’s how you write suspense.

I’m a little annoyed because apparently some other people were reading some character motivations “differently,” (looking at you crunchyroll), but I think it’s safe to say this doesn’t cross the line into romance, at all, and stays a thriller about growing up in a life-threatening situation.

2. Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu

I love the theatre, and I love comedy and storytelling. This anime manages to hit both of these points while showcasing some of the best animation I’ve ever seen. On top of the animation, there’s good directing, and supporting that is a great soundtrack. The story is vast and covers several characters’ lives over several decades surrounding World War 2.

The rakugo, though, is what makes the story. It’s not the first anime to touch on this topic, but it’s the first to do so in such an interesting way. It was very refreshing compared to a lot of titles on this list (though many of them are refreshing ideas!) with its originality. It’s heartfelt, it’s serious, it’s funny, but it also makes me want to cry. If it weren’t for the top spot being so hype as hell and generally a weekly freak-out among me and my friends, this would have been number one.

1. Mob Psycho 100
What can I say about Mob Psycho that hasn’t already been said? Its opening is gold, its animation is unique and interesting, its writing, directing, and characters are all praise-worthy. It is just hands down the best anime of the year. You may be thinking, “but Mitsu, One Punch Man was number one LAST YEAR. Isn’t Mob a little overhyped?”

No. Sit down and shut up. One is probably one of the best writers on the scene right now and is doing a lot better at writing genuinely empathetic characters and commentary on modern anime genres and tropes than most of the big budget barf fests. I think the “overhyped” talk is nonsense when it comes to mob. It genuinely does some interesting and groundbreaking work. That’s why it’s not only on this list, but number one. It never moved an inch since I decided it should be on the list.

Everything I’ve said has BEEN said by several really good reviewers and critics out there and you should definitely check out what they have to say about it too, because honestly, they’re a lot better than I am. I like Mob Psycho, I like One Punch Man, but I like Mob more. I’m so delighted that One Punch Man will be returning shortly and I only wish for Mob to also share the spotlight, as it deserves.