also i love that emily line cause it needed to be said


This took a long long time, man.

We’ve all seen the Twincer theories circling around the site and I wanted to ensure that a full thought-out one was on here for when we look back on these amazing theories.

Firstly, I would like to point out that even though PLL does tend to drop storylines every now and then, they never leave them too open-ended without subtle hints as to what the reveal could be like. For example, the NAT Club plot from Season 1. That was left unanswered but the actual story surrounding it was thought-through and explained with detail. Remember this as we go along with this theory.

Let’s start off by talking about the Hastings/Dilaurentis storyline. We now know that Jessica and Peter had Melissa. We also know Peter and Jessica had Toby. We also know that Peter and Mary had Spencer and Charlotte. (I think it’s crazy that Cece and Spencer were sisters this whole time, but I’ll go with it). We know that Dr. Cochran said he dealt with two of Mary’s babies. One, of course, was Charlotte, and the other was unknown. The doctor said the second child was quite tenacious. (Flash forward a season later and Toby calls spencer that same word). Ignoring all of the specifics, who’s to say Mary didn’t have a second baby after that.. or even.. AT THE SAME TIME. One baby was given to the Hastings, and the other was sent to a psych ward.

Forward to 7X15, and we see Spencer’s twin for the first time (for all we know) at the airport with Wren. 

The reason I’m assuming this is Spencer’s twin is because this scene was shown from EZRA’s point of view, instead of from Spencer as all of her scenes usually do. This is quite unusual, and since this episode was directed by Troian herself, I 100% believe this means something. Also, two seconds ago, Spencer was wearing a totally different outfit while she was getting ROASTED by Detective Fury. Why would spencer show up suddenly to meet up with WREN, a person who we haven’t seen for three seasons, right after being interrogated and caught out by her ex-boyfriend? It’s super fishy. Also, Spencer seemed as if she was fighting with Wren for some reason.. She even asked Ezra not to mention it to anyone, which is also strange. Coming back to what I stated in the beginning of this post, this scene was NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN. Throughout all of this show’s crazy seasons, little breadcrumbs like this never get dropped and not picked-up again. Just sayin’

Here’s what Spencer’s outfit looked like during that Marco scene.

After that, Spencer is seen at the Barn coming outta the shower. This makes sense seeming as though she wants to clear her head and she’s probably exhausted.

Now, we’re back to normal Spencer.

We DO know however that Wren is for sure going to re-appear in the finale. Hmmmm… 

We also see (from the promo) a bald-headed man holding a gun during the finale…

So are we really gonna ignore the fact that Wren only showed up in 7X15 with “Spencer” and is gonna re-appear only in the finale while holding a gun? Does that not sound at the least suspicious?????

Flash forward to 7X17 and Spence’ is saying goodbye to Mary Drake. After she leaves she hears a strange noise, and turns around quite frantically. This scene practically ends the episode, and guess what? It hasn’t been brought up since!! Again, PLL never does this unless it means something specific.

We know Spencer is a genius. For her to feel something fishy going on MEANS that something fishy is for sure going on. After all, things are pretty crazy in Rosewood.

Flash forward AGAIN to 7X18, Spencer sees Toby for the first time since Yvonne died. Now, before I go on with this point, you should all know that Spencer is NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON TO HAVE SEX WITH HER EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT AFTER HIS WIFE HAS JUST DIED. Anyways. You can see that Spencer is talking to Toby quite calmly and sympathetically. Of course, it’s typical Spencer to be showing love and compassion to a person who’s in need of it. 

Forward to later on in the episode and “Spencer” shows up to Toby’s apartment wearing all-black (like Mary Drake’s style of clothing) and immediately starts to have sex with him. This is fucking crazy! Firstly, Toby literally says a quote along the lines of “That’s not the Spencer I know.” to her. After that, she starts to chug down a bottle of beer which - by the way - she never does.

After that, they proceed to have sex. Keep in mind that “Spencer” is the one who’s pushing the sexual agenda forward, not Toby.

I’ve seen some people saying that the bullet-wound ruins this theory but I actually think it strengthens it. A bullet wound from a month back should NOT be that red. Also, I think that “Spencer” inflicted a fake wound on herself. That explains why she immediately averted Toby’s hand from it in a really sexual - and really gross - manner. Nevertheless, I will for sure give props to Troian for her amazing performance here.

We should also remember that Keegan stated in an interview that there definitely is not gonna be ANY Spoby kisses for the rest of the series.

Now, don’t ask me why, but I just really think he was telling the truth on this one. To be fair, Spencer is really hurting cause of the Marco situation. It makes no sense - and is completely out of character - for her to jump back to Toby Like this.

To make matters even more obvious, Spencer comes home TO THE BARN she left from in a completely different outfit ONCE AGAIN.

To finish things off, let’s all remember the real reason why this new A.D. has re-appeared is to avenge Charlotte’s death. Now. Who better to get revenge for Charlotte’s murder other than her very own sister.. Spencer’s twin…. The real A.D.

Let’s not forget the first thing Mary ever said to Spencer..

“You look just like your sister.”

Thanks for reading!! - Nasser

Kick-Ass Chicks: Julie Mooney & Emily Sims

If you see two girls dancing perfectly in synch to your favorite classic tunes, there’s a high chance it’s sisters and bloggers, Julie and Emily. As we walked up to the busy front gates before the park’s official opening, we wondered just how we would find the two dancing darlings in a sea of people. But to no surprise, we spotted them in their matching Vans Lifeguard Hats & Sk8-Hi’s in a matter of seconds— after all, Vans Girls always standout from the crowd. Their laid-back California style and carefree attitudes may have already drawn you in, but their epic tips, tricks, and rare finds will keep you glued to their Insta stories and coming back for more! We sat down with Julie and Emily to get a glimpse into their mega fun careers and to talk building a business as sisters, and having the happiest place on earth as their office. Find out how they turned their passion into a career after the jump…

Keep reading

You’re mine, Omega

(Chapter Two) Jensen x Reader

Characters: Jensen, Jared, Reader, OFC Emily, mentions of Danneel

Warnings: tinsy bit more of angst, mentions of anxiety

Word Count: 2617

A/n: Thank you so much for all of you for liking this! I was so nervous about posting but now, I’m so excited to share this with all of you. Tags are under the chapter.

Chapter one


“Jensen, I know you want to meet your omega, but isn’t this dangerous? Don’t you think this will cause a rift in your marriage?”

Jensen sighed and dragged a hand down his face. Jared had a point. “Look, I’ve been looking for my omega for years now Jared… If I don’t at least meet her, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.” Jared sighed and nodded.

“I have my soulmate, I couldn’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. I’ll help. I don’t know just how badly this will go but-” Jared dragged a hand down his face. “I’ll make sure you meet her. On one condition.”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah man, anything.”

Jared sighed and played with his wedding band before turning back to Jensen. “You need tell Danneel the truth.”

Jensen swallowed thickly and nodded slowly, feeling a bit unsure. He really needed to meet his omega but he was afraid of how Danneel would take the sudden news. “Let’s go find this girl.”

Jensen let out the breath he was holding and hugged Jared. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this, man.”

“Of course and I’m not even going to mention this to Gen, I don’t want Danneel finding out from anyone but you.”

“No, no, of course not. I don’t want her to get hurt hearing from someone else. It’s ju-” Jensen sighed. Suddenly, his head whipped around as he sniffed the air, smelling the thick, heavy scent of his omega. “She’s near.”

He quickly went to the door and opened it, the scent still heavy in the air. Once he stepped out, he got overcrowded by his fans wanting to desperately meet him. He sighed and quickly put on a big smile as he started signing stuff handed to him and took lots of pictures with the fans. Before he knew it, the scent had disappeared and he had to get to his photo ops. He walked down to the room he had to be in feeling disappointed. He didn’t want that scent to disappear. It was thick and heavy and he just couldn’t get enough. He sighed as he stepped into the room where all of the photographers were and got ready for his photo ops.


You stood in the line for the photo ops alone, checking your phone every two minutes, feeling anxious about every second that passed by. Emily hadn’t bought a ticket so she was going through the booths, texting you pictures of the ones with good stuff. You would answer her with casual messages of cool and nice but you were feeling the total opposite inside. You couldn’t explain the overwhelming feeling in your stomach. It felt like butterflies on Viagra, on twenty seven energy drinks, running around inside your stomach. The only other time you felt this way was when you were eight and you were going to get on a rollercoaster that was part of your local fair, by yourself. This, however, was so much more frightening. You bit your lip in excitement and practically jogged in your spot.

You were seventh in line. You watched as one by one, every five minutes, someone went inside. The closer you got, the more nervous you felt inside. The agonizing pain to meet him overwhelmed you. You didn’t know why you were so nervous. He was just a person like anyone else, except, he wasn’t just anyone, he was Jensen Ackles, god of your dreams and your ruined panties. There was now four people in front of you. You fidgeted excessively with your shirt. There was a loose strand and you tugged at it, somehow giving you satisfaction in those few seconds.

Three people were left in front of you. That’s when it hit you. You felt the strong pull. You heard about this pull but never felt it before. It wasn’t exactly like Star Wars kind of pull, no force here, but his scent. His heavy scent. He was in a rut and you could smell him from a mile away. You wondered why it barely hit you now but you shook your head, trying to focus on the fact that your alpha was near. He was near. You could feel his rut and his need for you. You hoped he couldn’t feel yours. One person was in front of you now. You’d focus on your alpha later. Right now, you were going to meet Jensen Ackles. The Jensen Ackles!

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the person in front of you went in for her photo. You stood there, waiting, feeling like time couldn’t pass any slower. You looked up at a clock hanging on the wall tick by every second. It’s like time just couldn’t move faster. You felt a bead of sweat slowly travel down the side of your face and fall onto your shoe with the tiniest plop. You looked at the spot confused as to why you were sweating. Being nervous and anxious was never a good combination for you. It usually triggered excessive amounts of sweating, bouncing, and the intense need to pee.

It had been about five minutes until you saw a man poke his head out of the curtain. “Number 637, you’re next.”

You took in a deep breath and slowly stepped forward. You couldn’t feel your legs but somehow, they just moved on their own. You walked into the room and there he was. He was more gorgeous than you could ever imagine, also strangely, taller. You slowly took a couple of steps until you were three feet away from him. That’s when you felt it again; that strong rut scent from earlier that made you get dizzy for a second, it was hitting you again but harder, stronger, it was, at that moment, one of the best things you had ever smelled. It filled you with need, with the urge to just shove your hand down your pants and become a pervert, of course, you wouldn’t cause that’s just wrong.

Your eyes widen as they moved towards Jensen’s beautifully toned back. There was absolutely no freaking way Jensen was your alpha. You looked around seeing there was about five people in the room besides you and Jensen. You swallowed thickly and begged your heart to quit beating so hard. It could be anybody in this room, you thought, there’s no way a god like Jensen is an alpha to a nobody besides, Danneel’s was his omega and that was that.

Jensen turned around and looked at you and his heart skipped a beat. He closed his eyes momentarily. He inhaled deeply and there it was. The scent of his omega. He took a step towards you and the scent grew stronger. He studied the way your cheeks were a bright red and how adoribly shy you were. He almost fell in love with the sight before him. Step by step, the closer he got, the stronger the scent became, the harder it was for him to concentrate on anything but you.

You looked up seeing him and you held your breath.

“Hey sweetheart, I’m Jensen. What’s your name?” Your fingers trembled as your mind was racing with words.

“(Y/n).” Your voice was soothing and soft. Although you were nervous, Jensen loved your voice and you had only said your name.

“What a beautiful name.” He reached forward, grabbing your hand, interlacing your fingers like it was second nature and pulled you towards the background and the camera. You felt shocks up your arm and you shivered. You were touching THE Jensen ackles. “Do you know what pose you’d like to do?” Jensen looked at you and locked eyes for a second with you and in that moment, he knew and so did you, you were his omega and he was your alpha.

When your eyes locked with Jensen’s, you blushed darkly and looked away. That’s when it hit you, hard. The slowly pool of emotion settled at the bottom of your stomach and you didn’t know what to do. You wanted to throw up, jump in his arms, run out of the room, and faint, all at once. It was undeniably overwhelming. “Y-yeah.. I-i was w-wond-dering if we c-could do a hug f-fr-from the back?” Jensen swallowed thickly and nodded, chuckling softly from how nervous you were. He turned you around and slowly moved his arms around your middle. His fingers touched your bare skin on your hip where your shirt raised, sending shivers against your skin. It felt good and perfect. Jensen felt the same electricity in his fingers and he swallowed thickly. It took every ounce of his strength to not turn you around and make you his, to claim his missing omega. He pulled you flush against his chest and hugged you like he was holding onto the most important thing in his life. You moved your hands over his and looked at the camera and smiled as the camera man took the pictures.

Once the camera man finished, you slowly moved your hands from his. Jensen moved his arms reluctantly and he looked at you and smiled. “Thank you for taking a picture with me. I hope you like them.”

You smiled softly and looked at him, swallowing thickly. “Oh please, I’m the one with the once in a lifetime opportunity here.” You bit your lip in shock. Where the hell did all that newfound confidence to even speak come from? And why the hell did it come now? You thought this in the span of a couple of seconds before Jensen smiled widely and chuckled softly.

You leaned in to hug him but felt that would be weird and inappropriate and decided against it. You waved awkwardly at him and swallowed the huge lump in your throat. “Thank you Jensen, again, for, um, pictures.” You smiled softly as you stepped back and walked out of the room as the guard brought in the next girl. Jensen watched you walk out and dragged his hand down his face slowly, practically rewinding and replaying what just happened in those five minutes. He softly let out a sigh and he rubbed his eyes and mumbled, “this is going to be so much harder than I thought.” He heard the next girl approach him and put on a fake smile and continued doing the photo ops.

As you stepped out of the room, you couldn’t believe you did what you did. You hugged Jensen ackles. You hugged him! Well, you didn’t really hug him, he hugged you from behind but still! You ran to a bathroom and locked yourself in a stall. You needed to think about what just happened. That’s when you felt an ache in your chest. You physically missed Jensen. Well of course you were gonna miss him, especially when he was your alpha. Shit, he was your alpha. Your eyes widened as you realized what you just thought. He was your alpha! The moment you looked into his eyes, you imprinted on him. You were his, his and only his. This was bad, very very bad.


Once the photo ops had finished, Jensen followed his bodyguard to his first panel of the weekend. He sighed heavily feeling empty. He had met you. He had finally met his omega, and now the inexplicable pain in his chest did not leave. He never knew he’d get so attached quickly. His father had told him about how if an alpha and an omega don’t meet after a certain age, they start to feel a sense of need for one another and once they meet, they’ll physically feel pain and want for each other until they knot their love. Jensen sighed and rubbed his forehead. How could he remember this now and not before he met you?

You were sitting anxiously, waiting for the panel to begin. You fidgeted with your bands countless time before Emily looked at you and raised her eyebrow. “What’s got your panties in a twist?”

You swallowed thickly and looked at her. “I met him.”


“I met my alpha.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?”

“Y-yeah, it’s just, it’s way more complicated and it’s really bad. I can’t believe this happened. I’m freaking out here and I think I just might die.”

“Emily looked at you confused. “Boo, what are you talking about?”

You sighed and put your face in your hands. “It’s Jensen,” you mumbled. You didn’t want anyone else hearing you. It was bad enough it happened, you didn’t need countless fans bashing you on the internet.


“Jensen!” You whispered loudly. Emily’s eyes widened as she looked around, making sure nobody was near the two of you.


“Y-yeah.. I imprinted on him..” You groaned loudly and brought your legs up on the chair and put your head on your knees.

“Are you sure?” You nodded furiously.

“Y-yeah, my chest burns right now cause he’s not here with me. I physically miss him Em. What am I gonna do? What the hell am I gonna do? I can’t just go back to my life like nothing. I will die.”

Emily sighed and sat back on her chair. She rubbed her face, trying to think of anything that could help you. “Shit babe.” You nodded and kept your face in your knees. This was very bad.

At that same moment, Jensen was passing backstage. He was waiting for Jared. He needed to talk to him urgently. Hopefully, before going up onstage for the panel. He smelled your thick scent once more. He knew you were in the audience, waiting, and it killed him not going out and seeing you once more. He heard some loud footsteps and he turned, seeing Jared walking up with his bodyguard. Jensen sighed in relief and practically sprinted to Jared. “Dude, we have a problem.”

Jared looked at him and looked around making sure nobody was close enough to hear them. “You meet her?” Jensen nodded furiously and swallowed thickly. “Yeah, I did.”

“Well, good, you finally met her. You’ve accomplished what you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t you feel great? This eternal search of yours can be over!”

Jensen groaned, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes harshly. “No, no I don’t because, well, I physically miss her a-and well, she’s gorgeous and her voice is amazing and she’s just… Wow. And I can’t do anything about it because, I well, ugh! This is hard!” Jensen huffed sadly and angrily and sat on a stool near the curtains of the stage.

Jared sighed and looked around, making sire it was still just them two. “Look Jen, first off, quit acting like an obnoxious child throwing a tantrum and two, I don’t know what to tell you. Honestly, three hours ago, I thought Danneel was your omega and that you were happy, and now, you’re huffing and puffing about your real omega who you just met like thirty minutes ago. I’m your best friend and I won’t judge you about any decisions that you make, but before you make any, let’s ease into things ok? You can start out as friends with your omega and well see where it goes from there.. Maybe you really did belong to your wife and not this girl, even if, she’s the one who was technically, is your true omega.”

Jensen looked at Jared and nodded. “You’re right man, I shouldn’t be worrying so much about this, well just ease it. I’m cool. So cool, vanilla ice would be jealous.” Jared groaned but smiled and patted Jensen on the back.

“Alright, well, come on, we have a panel to attend to.”

                                              .                 .                 .

@sis-tafics @grace-for-sale @goldenolaf25 @sea040561 @feelmyroarrrr @castielsgrace-idjits @nippleemma @butiaintgonnaloveem @babypieandwhiskey @winchester-writes @nataliehasgrace @lupine-princess @ellen-reincarnated1967 @reigningqueenofwords @sofreddie @giftofdreams @faegal04 @smoothdogsgirl @idk-life01 @sorenmarie87 @fictionalabyss @lovebodymindstuff @fallen-castiel @thetrickster67 @p3nny4urth0ught5 @tas898 @chelsea072498 @esmiestyles @suzannebeaketa @ironictrickster @arikas5744 @caratala @dustycelt @mandylove1000 @band-and-sadness @angelkurenai @bringmesomepie56 @dancingalone21 @writingthingsisdifficult @waywardlullabies @imagining-supernatural @thevioletthourr @frenchybell @waytooinlovewithdeanwinchester @plaidstiel-wormstache @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @captainradicalpassion @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @super-not-naturall @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @luci-in-trenchcoats @just-another-busy-fangirl @evansrogerskitten @supernatural-jackles @emilywritesaboutdean @percywinchester27 @impala-dreamer @iwriteaboutdean @jpadjackles @adoringjensen @lipstickandwhiskey @ilostmyshoe-79 @allinhishands @deanislife67  @spn-imagines-nation @creatively-charlie @torn-and-frayed @mrswhozeewhatsis @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @deandoesthingstome @padamooseandgrasshopper @crowleysplaythings @d-s-winchester

anonymous asked:

MG said the song for episode 20 is Until You Come Back To Me. The lyrics are sad and it sounds like Oliver's just going to wait some more. And he said it takes 2 to break up: does she think she has to apologise or something? It was his fault! This sounds like a very painful episode...

Are we setting ourselves up for a fall here? Are we looking forward to an episode (20) that’s going to basically tell us why Olicity are the way they are with each other and that’s it? There’ll be no reunion? Just this recognition of what happened and why but nothing more? 

Is that what you actually took from those lyrics and the spoilers?


Honestly? (Please don’t be offended) I 100% disagree… (Feel free to disagree with; I could be very wrong).

The lyrics from Until You Come Back to Me… First I need to point out that I think some people take them as a step by step representation of the episode when they really shouldn’t be. Not one of MG’s song choices have been 100% accurate in regards to the contents in any episode. What they DO do is create an overall feel for what might be shown/seen and it’s usually in regard to Olicity. But because they’re taken so seriously they are often misinterpreted and thus the depression starts…

But… sad? THESE LYRICS? I’d say the exact opposite.

I absolutely adore them.

They give me nothing but hope.

To understand why though, you need to look – REALLY LOOK – at Oliver.

Yes, I know, why not Felicity, right?

Well… because Oliver is Felicity.

Let’s look at their respective emotional positions this season.

Now we haven’t been given a lot of detail into this and I feel like that’s for a reason. A good one. As said by @jbuffyangel​ usually the pacing of Arrow seasons has each build up to a climax, usually with the final 5 episodes focused on - and being primarily occupied - by the most important aspect of the show for that season. Something that sends a message. Something that’s been long since coming, something for the protagonist to either earn or realise or require for strength (or a mix of the 3). So it makes sense that Olicity’s ‘confrontation’ is in episode 20, right before the final 3.

But other than this, I bet you’re wondering why it took them so long?

Well, there’s @marcguggenheim​ answer: there were other stories to tell and there were. He’s right: we can’t sacrifice story-lines to propel a romance we KNOW is going to happen. And we also know that once they do happen, they’ll probably be at the forefront of a lot of stories come season 6 (something for which I am greatly looking forward to).

But there’s also a second part to it that, if Marc explained, would probably ruin whatever surprise is coming our way.

At the beginning of the season, we see Oliver + Felicity working perfectly in unison with each other, but there’s an edge. Stephen referred to it as robotic; kind of like how he was throughout season 1. A deliberate way of acting by Stephen and Emily, an unconscious expression of behaviour for Oliver and Felicity.

In what I’ve seen (which albeit, isn’t much) people – ex-partners – usually do this when they’ve either a) been hurt and are defending themselves from further hurt or b) are unable to face something that also/still hurts. See the theme?

It’s about pain.

But, from what I’ve seen floating around on tumblr, a lot of people seem to think Oliver was waiting for Felicity and that he closed the door to ‘them’ after he found out she was dating, but I don’t think that’s correct.

Was he hoping? Hell yes. He’s always hoping she’ll turn around and give him another chance, always hoping he can become a better man for her.

But, was he WAITING?

No he wasn’t. Oliver had fully accepted that Felicity had said no, but he still kept the door open for her to come back through if she wanted to… she didn’t.

But he didn’t close it.

He just decided to further accept her choice and resigned himself to whatever came his way in his life. Resigned. How lonely a word that is. He didn’t go fishing, he didn’t search for romance, he didn’t even glance upwards (he didn’t: watch the episodes).

Instead, he simply said yes to the first offer he received.

After watching episodes 16, 17 and 18; I think I now understand why.

Oliver accepted long ago that he wasn’t worthy of Felicity. I just didn’t know that he hasn’t stopped feeling that way.

Originally posted by klarolicityswan

In season 3 + 4 Felicity got him to see that he did in fact have self worth and he started to see it in himself too; he started to believe. But not once did he think he was truly worthy of Felicity. Did he think he was the luckiest man on the planet because she chose him to love above all others? Very much so. But he considers himself lucky because she chose to love a man who will always be deficit, a man who wears a monster as a mask.

And after they broke up, why earnestly look for that kind of happiness again when he doesn’t feel he’s worthy of the happiness he did receive - because he proved he didn’t by destroying it - because what he wants above all else he knows he can’t have again? 

Why try to win her back, to turn her head around when he feels – in his core – that he isn’t just unworthy of her, but that there’s something very wrong inside of him? Why put that on her again?

She’ll only suffer for it and he’s caused her enough.

So he settled. And accepted. There was no moving on. But there was also no waiting for her to come back. It would be insulting to both of them for him to do that.

And now Oliver has lost what little hope he did have.

Originally posted by arrowsource

It’s as if, without Felicity, he slowly lost sight of the good he can do and everything good that can happen in life.

Which comes to this point: since we know how he feels about himself now – someone sick at the core who ruins lives, someone who takes pleasure in the kill – do you honestly think that episode 20 is going to be about Oliver telling Felicity that he understands now where he went wrong, has grown from it, has dealt with his trauma, accepts her decision and will wait for her as she goes on her dark path…?

Originally posted by giffix

Yeah, I’m going to give a big fat NO on that one.

He isn’t close to seeing that light. It’s right there but he just can’t see the wood for the trees and there are so many

What he wants right now (ep19?) is to keep Felicity from falling down with him because he sees her jumping into Helix’s arms a result of his own darkness infecting her.

Originally posted by emilybuttrickards

He doesn’t realise that she has her own ‘dark’ to experiment with – something she needs to do to understand herself more and her own insecurities. He also doesn’t realise that Adrian’s words are in his head speaking for him.

Who else could possibly make him see through that, other than Felicity? I mean, IT’S FELICITY: the one who taught him that he does have light inside him.

That line Oliver says, about her being the unforeseen force Adrian didn’t count on? Well, maybe he did. Maybe he’s part of Helix, maybe he isn’t. But I guarantee Adrian didn’t count on her influence on Oliver.

Originally posted by whoeveryoulovethemost

Adrian implanted Oliver with a notion that no longer holds true, hasn’t held true for a while now.

Of course he enjoyed darkness. Of course he relished killing. Of course he wanted it.

After five years fighting to live, how else is he supposed to compartmentalise? It only told me that he is one smart cookie.

Oliver feels things deeply. He experiences emotions on levels that could cripple most. How do you think he could ever deal with doing what he’s had to do over and over again in the years he had to survive alone? If he doesn’t learn to like it then he has to admit each time that he hates it and constant hate is extra weight (added to guilt etc) that slows you down. Get’s you killed.

And he promised his father he’d survive.

Originally posted by olivergifs

THAT was how he chose to survive. Subconsciously, his mind knew enough to see he needed to change. To fit this constantly hostile environment. So he learned to like it.

It’s a subliminal, near neurological response: a lot of military personnel – soldiers (usually not officers) front line guys, squad vets and special forces – probably do the same. They learn to somewhat - if not enjoy what they do - then take comfort in their ‘work’ in differing ways and usually, they adapt towards the environments that create such feelings and that can be where the PTSD comes from.


PTSD often shows itself most when the sufferer has to return to normalcy. When they have to experience quiet again, kindness again (things that remind you you’re alive and human) and face the creature they’ve been forced to become.

Oliver never did; his PTSD has come out in various ways (hyper vigilance etc) but the most prevalent is his habit towards self destruction. His lies.

His way of hiding his dark.

The Hood.

The problem, was that he split himself down the centre in the hopes of separating himself from it when he never needed to. It’s like being an alcoholic. You can’t split that from yourself; you have to confront it. It’s painful and it can takes years. 

In creating the divide he gave his darkness room to breathe.

think… (guessing) he lied to Felicity about William to protect himself. To unknowingly defend and conceal his weakness/his darkness. A man/woman suffering PTSD is always on the defence. He/she expects the worst of any situation and as such, creates the worse possible outcome each time.

I don’t think we should be concentrating on why Oliver lied, but on why he feels he has to do that, on why he keeps doing it. Why he keeps making that same mistake, as he does every single season.

Seeing it in that perspective, puts what he did in a more sympathetic light. Does it make it right? Nope. Not a chance. But it gives us an understanding as to why he’d do that to the one person he never had to hide from. Here’s hoping we get some clues/answers.

Now, Oliver was the impetus that broke their relationship… but Felicity was the one who broke them up.

That is her mark to bare.


Breaking up with him was the right option; what he did required that jolt of reality. She needed that… but it’s her reasons why she did that are the problem.

Notice how she never gave him – her Oliver – a second chance? Why? He’s the love of her life: why hold so steadfastly to something that makes them both miserable? Neither of them have given one honest smile all sodding year!!

So… why do this to them? (Because they’ll never be a ‘him’ and ‘her’. They’re an ‘US’ always and forever. What happens to her happens to him,so why?)

Again, I might be very wrong but, I think Felicity kept that door closed simply because she saw in Oliver all the things she feared. She saw a man who would one day leave her, who would do as her father did, as Cooper did… and what was so wrong with her that they kept leaving?

So she left him. She left him. She needs to see that. And I think she does.

And because she does - because she’s understanding about her own darkness - she can understand his, she’ll see him. I mean, is it any surprise after seeing season 2, 3, 4 and this season that it’s Felicity who might see the light (metaphorically speaking)? 

I REALLY DON’T think Oliver is in any kind of place to do so, do you?

Originally posted by feilcityqueen

If these two love birds had been ready for marriage, if they’d been ready for each other, if they’d understood the way they thought they’d had. Oliver wouldn’t have lied.

But even if he had (devil’s advocate)… they would have fought. Argued until the walls shook. Eviscerated each other with words if necessary until they’re this raw nerve that bows only to honesty. So they’d inevitably have sex - because that’s always an honest expression of emotion - the kind that wears into the bone, until you feel nothing, until you can’t breathe. Then maybe they’d cry… then laugh.

Until it’s sorted.

They weren’t there yet.

So those lyrics?

I am so sorry that I bothered you
Now I know why you have to hide
I didn’t know what you were going through
All I could see was my own sign

I will just fade away
I will let you be here
I won’t say a word until you come to me
Until you come to me
Until you come to me

They just tell me what you’re in there for
How could I know you did not say?
But now I know what I am living for
Tomorrow will be just another day

I will close my eyes
And I hear a quiet peep
I will wait in the shadows until you come to me
Until you come to me
Until you come to me, oh

Ah, sweet youth will all too quickly end
And we will never be this free
So all I ask is that we look again
Before we grow too old to see

I will fall alone
My elm was sweet and envy
Still I will be crying until you come to me
Until you come to me
Until you come to me, ah

I’m not going to analyse it all because there’s no point: it isn’t a bit by bit sketch of the episode.

But it tells me that the understanding we’ve been waiting for Felicity to reach, may finally be here because Oliver knows he fucked up.

He knows he did this to them, knows he destroyed them. But unless she understands his vulnerability, his weakness, his heart - then nothing will change. Maybe it’s up to her. To lead him into the right direction so he can take that step into the light himself. 

“How could I know, you did not say?”

It’s suggestive: in the episode they might both basically say ‘I get it now and I‘m sorry.’

But I’m right here… until you come to me.

It looks like that so-called closed door will get opened waaaaaay wide (about time right?)

Unless I’m completely wrong and ridiculous etc

But MG is kind of genius with this stuff (Oliver and his darkness and the light and Felicity) so I’m remaining hopeful.

I think it might be pretty brutal in regards to honestly; they haven’t talked all season so we aren’t sued to it but that might be the effect that they’ve aimed for: like a kamikaze run. Shock and awe.

Also, I DON’T think there’ll be a reunion in episode 20 and THANK GOD for that. I don’t want it resolved in 1 episode. I do however think it’ll set up the next 3 eps.

I wrote a post weeks ago stating that 1 good, LONG and brutally honest conversation was all it would take for Olicity to get back together. I can’t tell you how unbelievably psyched I’ll be if turns out to being even close to true.

So… I hope that answered that (not quite an ask, ask) for you. I’ve only been receiving asks for a little while (it’s always surprising) and thankfully, it’s only sporadically because I can’t answer some of the few I get and I’m always terrified at the potential reaction I may receive!


A/N: An anon request where Spencer and the reader are married and work together. She’s pregnant with their baby and has to stay behind at Quantico with Garcia. Spencer goes on a case, and he makes threats against the team, specifically the reader, so he calls her to see how she is, but he can’t reach her. @coveofmemories


“God, I’m so not used to this,” Y/N said, pressing her hand into her back to relieve a bit of the stress on her spine. At eight and a half months pregnant, the baby was starting to put a lot of stress on her back. She was ready to not be pregnant anymore. Plus, she was desperate to get back in the field.

“Not used to what, gorgeous,” Garcia said, standing tall on five inch heels as she tottered over to where the rest of the team was standing. They had 30 minutes until wheels up and everyone was ready to go. So was she - but being so far along she couldn’t. 

“Oh god, I’m not gorgeous. I’m a sweaty bowling ball.”

“You are not!” Garcia and JJ exclaimed at the same time. “From someone who has also had a baby, you are a beautiful pregnant lady.” JJ had looked like the epitome of gorgeousness when she was pregnant, so hearing it from her felt nice.

“And I’m not used to not being out in the field,” she said, as Spencer came back from the bathroom. “Garcia, I love you with the burning fiery passion of a thousand suns and I appreciate what you do more than you will ever know, but I am going stir crazy in here. I wanna kick an unsub in the face again.”

Spencer had come to stand at her side, kissing the top of her head as he laughed. “First, maternity leave, and then you can start kicking the crap out of people again.”

“Oh thank god,” she exclaimed, bending over in an attempt to stretch out her spine. She was so ready to be not pregnant anymore. 

“Alright, wheels up,” Hotch said, as he walked out of his office. “Y/N take care of yourself and this one.” When they all passed on the way the elevator, they patted her stomach, as had become customary since she started saying behind.

Spencer was the last to leave, pressing a firm kiss to her lips, and her stomach. “I love you, and I love you.”

“We love you too,” she replied. “Please be careful.”


Normally, the team didn’t get involved until after something was wrong - until after there was a dead victim, but a single mother of teenage twins flew in from three states away when her daughters were taken.

They had been stalked relentlessly over the past few months by someone they didn’t know, or at least no one that had made themselves known, but when the team saw the letters the unsub had written, they had no doubt that whoever he was, he could’ve come out of the shadows to take them away. 

Upon their arrival, they had difficulty tracking him down or even narrowing down who it might be, until he slipped up, allowing one of the twins to run for help. Although she was captured again, there were eyewitnesses, which led them straight to him.

As they made their way into the warehouse where he was keeping them, all six team members had their guns up and trained to shoot at a moment’s notice. “The fantastic BAU comes to the rescue,” the man announced, waving his gun about in one hand while the other clutched the twins by the neck.

“Let them go!” Hotch yelled.

“Why should I, Agent Hotchner? Dead ex-wife Hayley, father of Jack, leader of the BAU, narcissistic, overbearing. Why would I listen to you?”

He was attempting to get under their skin, make them think he’d studied them as well as the twins, but in all likelihood he’d done a cursory search of them once he realized they were on the case. “Maybe I should listen to Jennifer Jareau, mother of Henry, girlfriend of Will. Why aren’t you married yet? Afraid to make something permanent when it could all be taken away in the blink of an eye?” 

All JJ wanted to do was lunge across the room at the maniac and make him beg for his life for even mentioning her son’s name, but she stood her ground, keeping the gun trained as he went around to each member of the team, looking for a way to push their buttons. “Or maybe I should listen to the stubborn Dr. Spencer Reid, the one that is overprotective of his very pregnant wife, Y/N. You might want to get home soon Dr. Reid.”

“Why?” he asked without thinking. He shouldn’t be giving anything this man said any credence, but at the mention of his wife, he couldn’t help himself.

“I have a partner,” he declared. “Go ahead, tell them girls. There was another man here wasn’t there.” 

They both shook their heads. “But then he was gone.”

“I assume he’s on his way to DC, to take your wife, as I told him too,” he said with a smile as the horror crossed Spencer’s eyes. He must’ve assumed he had leverage against them, that he had them hook, line and sinker, because he moved out from behind the girls and in milliseconds, Emily had taken him out. 

Spencer ran outside, dialing the phone immediately to check on his wife. The man was undoubtedly lying, but he couldn’t be too sure. The phone rang and rang and rang. Nothing. No answer. No matter how many times he called. “She’s not answering the phone,” he called into the team.

“Go!” Hotch screamed back.

So he ran. Spencer ran as fast he could back to grab a cab that would take him back to the airport. He needed to get back to her. The chance that she had been taken was too great for him to wait. It needed to be now.


Nearly two hours later, which felt more like eight, he’d made it back home. He must’ve had shoddy connection where he was because the second he got off the plane, he had a text message from Garcia.


Y/N wasn’t due for another two weeks, so at the mention of the word hospital the color drained from his face. Had the unsub’s partner been real, already gotten there and done something to her? Was she even still alive? The text message had come in nearly an hour before, while he was in the air. As he ran to the car, he threw the siren on top, gunning it to the hospital nearest to the BAU. 

“Y/N,” he said to the nurse at the front desk. “My wife, Y/N Reid was brought in here, I don’t know how long ago, or even why.” The panic in his voice was causing him to stumble over his words. “Where is she? Please, I need to know.”

“She’s this way, sir,” the woman said, leading him down the hallway. Once he’d entered the room, his utter panic vanished, instead replaced with complete joy. There, in her arms, was their baby. It was just an early delivery.

“Oh thank god,” he said, running to her side across from Garcia. “I thought something had happened to you. The unsub said he had a partner and he was coming here for you and I panicked and flew back without everybody else.” As soon as he looked toward the bundle in her arms, his eyes grew watery. “Is it a girl or a boy?”

“It’s a girl,” she smiled, holding her up to pass her to her father. “We need to pick out a name. I’m okay, Spence.” Apparently, he was still a little panicky. “I’m good. Everything hurts, but that’s supposedly normal. Don’t worry. Garcia took care of us.” 

“Thank you, Garcia,” he said, walking over to the other side of the bed and giving her a half-hug, considering the baby in his arms. “What about having her middle name be Penelope?” he asked his wife. 

“Really!?” Garcia exclaimed as Y/N nodded and Spencer placed the baby in Penelope’s arms. “Hi first name not sure, middle name Penelope. I’m your auntie and I’m going to spoil you rotten because that is my job.”

happy birthday (a hector bellerin imagine)

Originally posted by ultragooner89

Summary: he has a new girlfriend, and she’s totally, completely, entirely 100% fine with that, right? 

Seeing him was strange. Arriving at his birthday party and walking through a house that should have been theirs wasn’t just strange, but plain weird.

The kitchen is busy, with people crowded shoulder-to-shoulder around the island and countless empty beer cans and food wrappers littering the table. The atmosphere is light and jovial, with Justin Bieber blasting in the background and the golden fairy lights giving the room a warm glow. She continues to nurse her gin and tonic and every now and then, grabs a salted pretzel from the bowl to her left. She doesn’t want to be such a “debbie-downer” (in her best friend’s words, who keeps on trying, to no avail, to get her to join in with the karaoke in the living room where Crazy in Love is being butchered and the wine is flowing more freely) but she’s just seen him with his arm around her and now any attempts at a smile or a dance would be futile at best.

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Heaven in Hiding || Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez  {PT. 1}

“I can tell you mean it ‘cause you’re shaking.”

Summary of Imagine: Luke gets drunk at Spencer’s party and becomes dependent on Reid, in which things end up going in the complete opposite direction they both expect it to.

Warnings: None in this scene except some swearing!

Length: Long, 1,507 words

A/N: Inspired by the song Heaven in Hiding by Halsey! (I really wanna do a whole Halsey series tbh) I really hope you guys like it and forgive me if this is choppy - I’m so used to my old fanfics where they were always heterosexual relations so I haven’t really worked with same gender relations! (I’m 100% supportive of every relationship though no matter what!) Enjoy! ALSO: FOR THE SECOND PART I WOULD LOVE IF WE COULD GET 50+ NOTES SO I COULD WRITE IT :) (just seeing the interest!) Thank you and I love feedback!!

@reidoneshots / @ssajenniferjareau (for the ship recommendation!) @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @reidbyers @bookofreid @dontshootmespence 

It was Spencer’s 30th birthday, and JJ had surprised him with well, a surprise party that had been casually thrown together in a last minute attempt to make the birthday boy feel special, instead of sitting alone on his birthday snuggled up with a book and a cheap cupcake from Costco. 

Everyone managed to stay sober except for Luke and Emily. Those two went at it with the alcohol Emily provided, and no one stopped them. They both threw in their responsibilities considering both Sergio and Roxy were at the kennel for an overnight visit, so with the parental needs out of the way, they were intoxicated to no end, but those two were having fun, so the team just let them go. 

As the chaotic shouts of the night slowly faded into the desired rest of morning and the team was yawning more than laughing, Spencer decided to call it quits on the bash that had now become well… a crash. Emily and Luke were both giggling, but eventually fell asleep on Spencer’s tainted corduroy sofa adorned with coffee stains. 

JJ agreed to escort Emily home, considering both of their residences were in close proximity to one another, and an hour ago she was itching to get home to see her child and Will. 

Everyone else left except for Luke who refused, promptly hissing at Emily and JJ as they walked out. Emily proceeded to laugh, squirt Luke with a plant spray, and tell him that “momma is gonna punish you”, implying that Emily was so drunk she thought Luke was her cat Sergio.

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Pharmercy Appreciation Week: Day 6 - Wedding

I have to go back and do days 4 and 5 because this weekend was much busier than I anticipated … but here’s day 6. :’)

Summary: Lena and Emily get married; Angela asks Fareeha to be her date.


Lena announces her wedding date a year before it happens. She and Emily are ecstatic, in love, totally and completely happy. Angela’s happy for them, too. Happier still when she goes to the bachelorette party a month out (both of them) - ridiculously happy to drag a drunken Farreha home after one, and then to have been escorted home drunkenly at the other by the same woman.

A week out and Emily calls her to go to lunch and Angela accepts willingly. Sitting across from the red head, sipping coffee after her meal Emily finally leans forward and, looking almost too serious says:

“So have you asked Fareeha to be your date yet?”

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damhunterofartemis  asked:

Hey can you pleasedo one where Spencer and the reader are secretly dating, and the team doesn't even know he has a girlfriend (she doesn't work at the BAU) until somebody sees them kissing?


Hey guys! This is my first fanfic, so it’s without a doubt, not the best:/ I’d love critical feedback and thoughts on how I can improve the next time around. Also, I think and feel as if Ive read something very similar to this but am not sure, so if it is exactly like another fic, I apologize and did not write this with the intentions of copying someone else.
(Also I apologize in advance for the crappy ending)
Thanks xx



Of course the team had noticed Spencer’s abnormal behavior, but no one dared to ask him about who or what was causing it. He was arriving to work later than he normally did, which of course was no big deal to anyone, but was very unlike the agent. He had been texting more often and smiling down at his phone during briefings and while working on cases, and instead of being one of the last people to leave the office after organizing files and filling out paperwork, he would rush out and leave almost immediately. Of course, everyone had their suspicions, but seeing as he was happier, the team didn’t bother asking.
What they did not know was that the doctor had been dating you for a little over 3 months. While you made him the most delighted he had been, he had just not found the right time to tell his colleagues.
Spencer hoped and guessed that they would support him and his relationship, but couldn’t help fearing that they wouldn’t. Quite frankly, he was afraid that they would make fun of him seeing as you were the most beautiful girl he had laid eyes on and expectedly would never fall for a guy like him.


“Wheels up in 30” said Emily routinely as everyone simultaneously stood up and began to shuffle out of the room.
“Leesburg, Virginia, couldn’t get any more interesting than that, could it?” mumbled Luke to no one in particular.
“You know, in 1699 the Conoy Tribe inhabited Leesburg before the Europeans began to enter the land even though it is most commonly believed that …. shoot.” replied Reid.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have my travel bag, I must have left it back at my apartment.”
“Ooh, sorry bud but we don’t have time. You might just have to go without it.”
“Yea…” said Spence as he began to pull out his phone. Luckily, you had crashed at his place last night after falling asleep together while watching movies and eating takeout. He hoped that you were still at his place and hadn’t left, but knowing you, expected that you were probably still asleep. Spencer was right and you were awakened as your phone rang, flashing the familiar number of your boyfriend.

“Good morning sweetie! Could you please please do me a huge favor?”
“Spencer it’s like 9 in the morning, what could you possibly need?”
“Well, you see we are leaving for Virginia in 30 minutes and it seems as if I’ve left my travel bag at home and I..”
“Yes Spencer, I’ll bring it to you.” you said while laughing at the fact that someone as smart as Spencer could sometimes be so forgetful.
“Agh perfect, I love you, but hurry!”
“Love you too and see you soon.”

“Wait, who was that?” retorted Luke, noticing that Spencer had not only called the person on the other line sweetie, but said he loved them.
“mmm no one.” said an alarmed Reid quickly walking away, realizing what he had just done.


Nearly 20 minutes later, you pulled up to the parking lot of the building in which Spencer worked. You saw Spencer rush out of the front doors as you stepped out of your car, travel bag in hand.
“Ahhh, thank you so much darling. What would I do without you?” asked Reid as he embraced you in a tight hug. You laughed as he leaned in and lightly kissed you. This was not an uncommon gesture between the two of you, so when you heard cheers coming from the front doors, you were quite surprised, pulling away from Spence.
“I TOLD YOU SO!! YOU OWE ME, HAHA” hollered a blonde female dressed in bright colors and bold patterns to a smaller blonde girl standing next to her.
“Hey who are those people?” you giggled.
“Come on, I want to introduce you to some people” uttered a clearly anxious Spencer taking your hand in his and leading you to the now somewhat calm group of people.

“Everyone there is someone I want you to meet. This is my girlfriend y/n and she makes me the happiest I ever have been. She’s also the reason I’ve been acting… different lately.”

“Oh I knew it! I knew something was up with you pretty boy. I’m Penelope Garcia, it’s such a pleasure to meet you y/n! Might I say, you two make the cutest couple, and you are absolutely gorgeous!” squealed the woman that you had just seen hollering. As you shook her hand, she pulled you into a tight hug. Surrounded by his team, all smiling at you and Garcia hugging, it was then Spencer realized that he had no reason to worry.

How do I stop loving you?

How do I stop loving you?

How do I stop leaving you little notes when I know you’ll never see them again?

How do I stop leaving the coffee pot on, expecting you to come bounding down the steps and nag at me to, “replace the creamer once you’ve finished it, Spence.“

How do I build up the courage to sleep on your side of the bed knowing that once it’s been slept on the smell of your skin will be gone and replaced by the smell of mine own?

How do I stop bringing home a bouquet of flowers from your favorite flower shop everyday, knowing you’ll never receive them?

How do I stop waking up and expecting to hear the silent wheezing coming from your nose?

How do I stop expecting to come home and hear the light pitter patter of your feet against the hardwood floors we used to share?

How do I stop imagining what could’ve been? White picket fence, a few kids, and growing old together.

How do I stop replaying the last words I ever said to you, in my head like a broken record player? “I don’t know why I even try, all we do is fight and fight, I think we should take a break.”

How do I stop my heart from breaking every time I remember hearing your voice break when you pleaded, “Spencer, please, you don’t mean that I love you.”

How do I stop hearing the door close just a few hours later, not realizing then that it would be the last time you walked out of our shared apartment?

How do I stop waking up with the smell of ammonia burning my nostrils as if I were back in that hospital watching you slowly leave me behind?

How do I stop remembering reaching out to grasp your small limp hand up, tear ducts ready to burst, and hearing a long flat piercing sound that penetrated my ears, realizing that the monitor had flat lined?

How do I stop blaming myself, because I can’t. I can’t stop imagining what was going through your head while you were driving down the interstate highway in the rain going 20 miles over the speed limit. Hydroplaning, they said it was and I knew what it meant, I just didn’t understand how. I mean hydroplaning is when a layer of water builds between the wheels of a vehicle and the road surface, leading to a loss of traction that prevents the vehicle from responding to control inputs. I know that but you were always an overly cautious driver. I know you were because I remember teasing you about it just a couple days prior. “I can’t believe you literally drive like a grandma! I mean you do know that statistically 143 accident a year are caused by slow drivers right?” only receiving a lighthearted chuckle in response.

How do I stop the feeling, that same tightness on my chest when the doctor said that he had done all he could and yet he still couldn’t save you, the realisation that I could’ve. Because if I had never said that I wanted a break, you would have never left and I wouldn’t have to imagine you sitting on our obnoxiously yellow couch, that you’d insisted on buying because “You, Doctor Reid need a little brightness in your life.“ You’d just be there instead.

I mean how absurd! I don’t even remember what we were fighting about!?

How do I stop loving you?

The answer is I won’t.

A/N: I really hope you enjoyed it I would appreciate it very very much if you would leave a like or even a reblog letting me know if you enjoyed it (or not it’s not obligatory) Also a very very special thank you to @cherry-loves-fanfic for helping me edit and decide if this story was any good

I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.

This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @cooperjones2020 work!

1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.

I post all of them on AO3 as well as on tumblr @cooperjones2020 under the tag #mine and on my master list. (also fyi it’s a sideblog, so if you ever get a reply from @acitrusmoon, that’s also me!)

2. Tell us a little about yourself.

I’ve tipped the scale into second half of my 20’s. I’m currently doing my master’s in English lit, focusing on early modern drama and cultural studies. Canada is the third country I’ve lived in. I’ve been in four separate countries within a 24-hour timespan on two separate occasions. I prefer children’s toothbrushes to adult ones. I made my parents let me drop out of preschool when I was four because they wouldn’t give me orange juice.

3. What do you never leave home without?

Nothing. I leave with the absolute bare minimum I can get away with. So 99% of the time I have my phone, but even that’s not a sure thing. If I can stick a card or some cash in my bra so I don’t have to carry a purse or wallet, I’m doing it. If I do have a bag, I definitely have my giant reusable water bottle and a book with me.

4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Early bird. I’ve hit the level of adulthood where I wake up at like 6:30 sans alarm. And I have no excuse. I don’t have to be at work til 10.

5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?

I’ve been thinking about this question and I can’t come up with anything other than HP. I basically learned to read off those books and grew up alongside them. That fictional world is so embedded with my real one, it would be a disservice to pick something else.

6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met.

In general, I have no interest in meeting famous people, so I think the most famous person I’ve ever actually met was Roger Ebert at an ice cream shop in Michigan when I was 8. But I’ve been adjacent to famous people. I saw Josh Radnor in my college bookstore, I’ve emailed with John Green, and Chicago Fire used to film in my old apartment in Chicago before it became my apartment. They would still shut our street down to do external shots, and NBC paid my landlord not to gut the apartment when he rehabbed it, in case they needed to use it again.

Does Walk the Moon count as famous now? I’ve met Nick Petricca at parties (figure out what Josh Radnor, John Green, and Nick Petricca have in common, and you’ll learn something else about me).

7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?

I’m the worst with “favorite” type questions because I change my mind all the time when my attention wanders. So TV shows I’ve loved a long time and will continue to rewatch ad infinitum: Gilmore Girls, Charmed, Boy Meets World. I don’t really re-watch movies, which is my general bar for loving something. I recently saw The Third Man and it blew my mind, so much so that it made it into chapter 5 of “Nobodies Nobody Knows.”

(but also I haven’t had consistent access to a television since 2006 because I went to boarding school for nerds, so I’m out of touch with a lot what’s been on unless I’ve been able to find it on the internet and binge watch it)

8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?

Again, I don’t know if I have anyone I would say is a favorite above all the music I like. I cycle through songs I get obsessed with for a week or two. The Spotify playlist I’m currently listening to on repeat includes Halsey, Imagine Dragons, Walk the Moon, Regina Spektor, Lorde, Cigarettes After Sex, Ed Sheeran, Adele, X Embassadors, and Sia. But it’s also my Bughead writing playlist. I’d really like to see Maren Morris in concert.

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In Time Part 4- Dean x Reader Soulmate AU

In Time: A Fate We Must Accept.

Rating: T
Warnings: Talk of Suicide.
Word Count: 1700
Summary:  Dean finds his soulmate, but you are already gone.  Will there be a way for you to be together? 

AN:  So I had this rolling around in my head when I was looking soulmate AU prompts.  I hope you like it.  If you would please leave feedback, I would greatly appreciate it!   For @imgoldielikehawn, cause she’s awesome and so supportive!  Thanks girl!  Let me know if you want to be tagged! Also thank you so much for 700 (almost) hundred followers! Ekkkkk. I’m so excited.

You hummed happily as you flipped through the pages of your weathered copy of The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson.  It had been your go to book throughout high school and college. You had always felt a connection to her words and the way they spoke to your soul.  Dean was sitting on the couch looking at you pensively as music filled the room.  You smiled at him as you slid a finger down the page.

Padding your way over with a soft thud of each step, you sat next to him and allowed yourself to get close.  Dean seemed to understand and leaned in closer.  The feeling of you against him wasn’t like it would be if you were a body, but the way your energy flowed through him made his heart rate increase.  He shifted a bit from side to side to get more comfortable.  

You allowed yourself to glance at him out of the corner of your eye.  A smile spreading across your face when you took in the splattering of freckles across his cheeks. Dean was a bit older than you and he seemed to have a worry line written into his skin.  You couldn’t begin to imagine the things he had been through, but you knew the story was dark.

“You know I think what I miss the most about being alive….”

“Sex?” Dean offered with smirk as he locked eyes with you.  Yours widen at the implications there but shook away those thoughts. Reaching out, you slapped his arm gently.

“I was going to say chocolate.  You pervert…” You said with a sigh.  “The taste of my favorite food. The way the rain feels on my skin. Silly cliches like that.  But mostly I miss my little apartment.  I miss girls’ night with my friends.  My mom calling to scold me when I haven’t called.”   You murmured lowly.  Fingers running down the spine of your book.  Pressing your lips together, you shifted from your place on the couch.

Letting out a shaking breath as you walked over to where your pictures hung on the wall.  You ran your hand under the length of your lifetime.  From the time you were a baby up until your past birthday just six short months ago.  This whole experience was surreal.   Here you stood looking at the beginning and the ending of your story.

A story that never had a chance to include love.  At least not real love.  You chewed your lip and smoothed your hair as you turned back to Dean.  He was looking at you like you had just broken his heart and you hovered on that thought.  As much as it hurt to know, you couldn’t help but wonder what he would have to say.

“Dean…  If I was still alive…  Do you think you would have been interested in me?  I know what you said earlier and….”

“I think I would have married you.”  Dean blurted out before you could get a chance to finish your thoughts.    His words made your heart squeeze in your chest and you brought your hand up to stop your gasp.  He couldn’t mean that…  How could he mean that to a girl he could never really know.

“Dean… I…  I mean.  You don’t even really know me.”  You offered as you looked at him with sad eyes.  Tears trickling out and landing on the wood floor.  You glanced down in surprise and raised your hand to touch them. You hadn’t be able to cry in months.  Only briefly the night you had met Sam and Dean.  Other then that, you had been almost in a complete state of numbness.  Everything about this man made your soul vibrate and long.   Long for something that you never even had in the first place.  

“Yes I do sweetheart.  I read your book.  I know all your secrets.”  He said with a thicken whisper.  “And it’s like you call out to my soul.  I can’t help it, Y/N.”  

With those words, he picked himself off the couch and moved over you.  You swallowed the lump in your throat and backed right into the walk as he stared down at you with a hunger you never experienced in life.  

“Dean…  Remember the other night when you asked me if I had any regrets?”  You asked as his hand went to cup your face.  Dean only nodded in reply.  

“Well.  I do.  I regret that I didn’t get to meet you.”  You murmured before you stood on your tippy toes to crush your lips to his.  Dean was kissing you the moment your lips landed on his.  The ache that went through you made you cling to his shirt.  Your fists balling into the material as the regret of your inner self poured into the kiss.  Dean was groaning as he gripped your hips.  He was  trying to fill the void within himself as you flooded your light into every dark corner of his mind.  Finally when it became to much, he broke away with a gasp for air.

You looked up at him and give a weak smile.  The twist in your gut let you know right away that this was the biggest mistake you could make.  That letting yourself go would only hurt him.  You didn’t want to hurt him, but the intensive need made you feel weak.  Weak enough to give into those eyes and lips.  To pretend like this would never end.  

Except that you knew it would and yanked away from Dean.  The pain searing hot and destroying as you held yourself back once again.  You turned so that you could walk around him and flung yourself to the floor.   Resting your head on your knees, you sighed deeply with regret.  A feeling you hadn’t felt since you let your ex-boyfriend Vincent back into your life.   You could feel Dean’s eyes on you and you know he wanted you to turn around.  You didn’t  and  his sake you couldn’t.

“Dean…  This wasn’t how this was suppose to be.  You were suppose to meet me when I alive and full of light.  Now I am barely anything.  Just a faded memory.  Just the scar of a tragedy.”  You whispered almost to lowly for him to hear.  The sudden drop in the temperature didn’t go unnoticed by Dean as you seemed to flicker.  Your spirit fading to to be almost transparent as he watched a new figure materialize in front of you.

It was a pure blackness that wasn’t natural and female in appearance.  It wore a hooded sweatshirt and instead of a face there was just a void under the hood.  When it began to reach for you, a sharp yell of, ‘NO’ escaped from Dean’s lungs as he reached for the fireplace poker.  

Though before he could get to you, the figure had placed it’s hand on your upper arm.  You gave a blood curdling scream as the feeling of ice filled you. Reaching up to grab at the attackers hand, screamed again as you felt an oddly cold burning run down you.  The pain seemed to crack open something within you leaving you to fall limp on the floor.   

Giving it a harsh swing, Dean passed the fire poker  through the figure which burst into a cloud of black before dissipating.  His eyes watching in confusion as it seemed to travel up through the ceiling and towards your bedroom.  He squatted next to you and muttered a few choice words under his breath.  

You laid almost without any color to you- limp and gray.  His hands reaching over to to cup your chin.  His eyes widen in astonishment- as he ran his hand along your jaw you seemed to come to life.  The color returning and your limbs relaxing.  You sat up with a start and a gasp of air.   Your eyes turned to his bewildered ones.

“What the hell was that?”  You gasped as you reached up to clutch one of his arms.  His arms pulled you into a crushing hug.  You hummed lowly when you could hear the rhythm of his heartbeat.

“I’m not really fucking sure.  Some kind of ghost.”  He replied as he pressed you closer to him.  His forehead was wrinkled as he tried to run through all his ghost lore.  You flinched a bit when his and made contact with the your right upper arm.  Reaching your hand over, you felt the spot again and frown.  The spot felt cold even to you.   You took Dean’s hand there and let it rest despite the pain that radiated from it.  

“What is that Dean?”  You asked with a confusion that came from deep within.  Dean moved back from you and gently pulled the sleeve of your sweater up your arm.  His eyes seemed to burn a hole through you before he spoke.  

“A burn?”  He questioned himself.  You looked up at him in surprise.  

“A burn?  I’m dead, Dean.  I don’t think that’s possible.”  You quipped.  You could see the exasperation  in Dean’s eyes at your comment.  You smiled at him playfully and mouthed a sorry.  His eyes lingered on your burn before he pulled you both to your feet.

A few hours later, Sam had returned with all the information from the police.  It seemed that the other victims had a similar marking on their bodies as you had just received from the entity.  This had shocked you and both men.  When he got to the last file, Sam sat tightened lip and didn’t open it.  You flinched a bit when you figured out that it must be your file.  

“Tell Sam it’s ok.  That I’ll be ok if we look at my file.”  You urged to Dean.  As you reached over and gave his arms a squeeze.  Dean leaned over and took the folder from his brother.  Sam let air pass through his nose.

“Dean…  It’s pretty grizzly.  I don’t think she should see it.”  Sam warned as rubbed his chin.  You shook your head and told Dean to go ahead.  Dean, himself, felt his stomach twist into a sick knot.   Sighing, you took the folder from his hand and flipped it open.  

You let out a shaky breath, but tried to ignore the sinking feeling in your gut.   As quickly as possible, you made your way to autopsy report.   The pictures there made you feel an unimaginable pain as you looked at yourself on the slab of cold metal.  Finally, you managed to come to the picture of the black mark on your neck.  

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HVFF London: here’s my (way too long, if I were you, I’d keep on scrolling) report! :D

Oh, boy… What. A. Weekend!!! Seriously there are no strong enough words to describe how utterly awesome this whole experience was. But enough gushing, there will be plenty more as I go on. Let’s start this report! :D (I have highlighted the different parts so you can just skip to what you wanna read about)

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Wynonna Earp 2x05 Thoughts and Faves

I needed a little extra time to ruminate on this episode. It was billed as a game changer, and it certainly delivered.

I have to start my discussion of this episode with a full-disclosure: I’m not generally a huge fan of kids or pregnancy storylines in tv shows. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched a couple shows in my time that seemed to derail when they introduced the element; or perhaps it’s because I’m not really a kid person (except for my nieces and nephews, because they’re kind of awesome). It’s impossible to watch something and not have it affected by your own personal likes/dislikes/experiences. And so, for me, it’s inevitable that I view things through the lens of someone who’s always known kids aren’t for me.

So why am I starting out with this? Because I want it to be crystal clear how much it means when I say, I love that they are doing this. Let me repeat that. I LOVE that they wrote Melanie’s pregnancy into the show, and not just because I think as the face of the show she shouldn’t have to hide it. 

The way they handled the reveal tells me that if there is one tv show and creative team I trust to do a pregnancy storyline without sacrificing narrative and character elements, it’s Wynonna Earp. Who knows where this is going to go, but in 2017 you’re damn right a superhero can be pregnant and still kick-ass and drop the snark and one-liners like nobody’s business. A part of me thinks that, just maybe, if I previously had the opportunity to watch a quality show like Wynonna Earp handle a pregnancy storyline, I might not have such an aversion to it now. I’m along for the ride, and I have a sneaking suspicion it will be a good one.

Okay, moving on from that. I feel like we should know by now, and cease to be surprised by, Melanie Scrofano’s performances each week. We should know better, right? But she keeps knocking the material they give her out of the park. Goo-Infected Wynonna is a rollicking, tour de force who moves from manic glee to menacing threat, and back again, at the flip of a switch. The opening scene in the kitchen was a joy to watch. Bless Goo Wynonna’s special brand of crazy for giving us a glimpse of how truly terrifying a gleeful Wynonna without snark and self-deflecting sarcasm is. 

I’m going to save the Earp sister stuff for last here, so let’s hit on all of the Wynonna and Nicole stuff first, because I have a lot of feelings about it.

Someone asked me which things Wynonna said to (and about) Nicole and her relationship with Waverly I thought were actually true, and what was just the Goo messing with Nicole/Waverly. And here’s the thing, I think most of what Wynonna said was partially true in her own mind, at this point anyway. The exception being the insinuation that Waverly fakes it in bed with Nicole, because considering how often Wynonna interrupts the two of them/has seen the two of them get lost in each other, there’s no way she believes that. 

Also, let’s not act like Nicole Haught isn’t the most attentive and thorough lover on the planet, because you know she is. Everything about her personality screams that. And there’s no way the gravitational pull that is on constant display between Nicole and Waverly results in a less than satisfying physical relationship. 

The rest of her comments though? Wynonna does partially believe them, but I don’t think it’s personal to Nicole.

Wynonna has an issue with authority figures. Understandable, given her life experiences, but all the same, it’s a very real part of her makeup. Nedley (prior to the Season One finale), probation officers, foster homes, even the way she interacted with Dolls through most of the first half of Season One, make that clear. I fully believe Wynonna respects and overall likes Nicole, but she’s a cop; an authority figure, and Wynonna has very decided feelings about that. It would cause friction between the two of them whether or not Nicole and Waverly were dating, as evidenced by 1x07 and Wynonna’s switch to the ‘local flat-foot’ narrative when she gets upset. It’s her default setting with police and the like.

Wynonna can’t help but view Waverly and Nicole’s relationship through her own lens. She doesn’t do serious and committed relationships, and she struggles with emotional intimacy; of course she thinks their relationship is stifling for Waverly. “She’s dying underneath the weight of your expectations” might as well be about herself in regards to most people and situations in her life. It doesn’t mean that’s how Waverly feels about it. I think Wynonna knows that on some level, but she can’t separate the way she would feel in the same position. Same for her comment about Nicole being a ‘boring cop’. To Wynonna, she is somewhat boring as dating material, but then, Nicole doesn’t find Wynonna good dating material either, so they’re even.

I think Wynonna also feels threatened by Wavelrly’s relationship with Nicole. Her previous experience on this front is Champ. Let’s face it, Wynonna never really had to take him seriously. She knew, deep down, Waverly was aware of how unworthy he was, and that they weren’t a good fit. That’s not the case with Nicole. Nicole is steady, smart, devoted, and so obviously head over heels in love with Waverly, that I think Wynonna can’t help but fear being replaced in her sister’s life. Wynonna stating Nicole is not her sister’s keeper is telling, because Wynonna considers herself to hold that role. I’m pretty sure it’s the one thing she feels like she’s done right in a long time, when you take into account her past and the situation with Willa, and right now she feels like there’s competition.

Frankly, I love how they’ve set all this up between Wynonna and Nicole. I still think WynHaught Brotp is the name of the game, but they’re going to have to earn it through candid conversation, learning to trust each other fully, and time. 

There has to be an official ‘I love you’ between Waverly and Nicole coming. We’re running out of ways for Nicole to say it without using the actual words, and Waverly has only ever said it to Wynonna in the heat of a tense moment. I like the wait though. They got together fairly quick, and it was very sweet and earnest, but now we’re moving into something more solid and real where life encroaches on the happy little bubble things started in. Waverly is finally Goo free, it’s time for the two of them to address some things, get very honest, and finally exchange proper ‘I love you’s’. I don’t think we’re by any means out of the woods with angst yet (can you ever really be on a show like this?), but I think we have a special moment coming. The payoff will feel earned and so very worth it.

Favorite small moment of the episode alert: The way Nicole leans into Waverly’s touch after confessing she would shoot anyone for her, and Waverly responds “That’s really sweet”. The relief and overwhelming emotion Nicole feels the moment she realizes ‘her’ Waverly is back is palpable, because this is who she fell for.

Now on to the heart of the show, the Earp sisters. All of their scenes together this week were stellar. 

Of course Waverly is the one to save Wynonna from the Goo. The way she tells Wynonna she’s not enough to save her, in a slightly broken voice, is painful. Because she is enough. She’s the only one who can save Wynonna. We know because she does it over and over, without even realizing it. The faith Waverly has in Wynonna is unwavering and so beautiful, and without it, I think Wynonna would collapse under the weight of her own insecurities and doubt. Wynonna might bear the responsibility of the family curse, but there’s no way she succeeds without her sister. 

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a prior sister experience is the thing needed to defeat Mikshun. One that Waverly probably doesn’t have fond regards for, interestingly enough. At the end of the day, Waverly saved Wynonna and herself; brave little toaster indeed.

Regarding the final scene, all I can do is echo everyone’s applause, because it was so well done, and beautifully shot. When Waverly tells Wynonna she’s not alone it was one of the most powerful moments I’ve seen on tv in awhile. It doesn’t matter to me where the pregnancy storyline ultimately goes, if we get material like this between Waverly and Wynonna, how can it not be amazing? 

Rapid Fire Thoughts:

-This is the first Season 2 episode Waverly fully felt like Waverly. I think that’s a testament to Emily, Dominique, and the writers fully taking the time to understand the changes the Goo rendered in her. Like Haught, I’m happy to have her back.

“It was exhausting being inside of you, all that goodness.”  “You’ve got dark corners you haven’t explored yet.”  The ambiguity lives on. 

-Waverly shooting a shotgun is forever my aesthetic. “Frankly Lucado, the situation is balls” is now a top 5 favorite Waverly line, and that’s stiff competition. 

-The whole fight scene played amazingly well, with the action and Wavelry’s running commentary. The show shines in those moments, having a perfect balance of humor and action.

-I was actually starting to like Lucado and her antagonistic relationship with the Scooby gang, but that head explosion sure was something. It narratively made sense, but I’m glad we got the glorious fight scene before Lucado made her final bow.

-“It’s Tuesday.” Add Melanie’s “Good to know” to my growing pile of line delivery love. 

-The Order showing up with a bunch of dudes when what’s really needed is one competent woman to get the job done is the perfect representation of this show. I suspect Wynonna and The Order will have to work together more as the season goes on, but while they may have similar goals, their tactics will never align, and that’ll bring problems down the road.

-I find a strange sort of parallel between the way Wynonna asked Waverly “Did you do that?’ last week, and this week when she says “Look what you did to the woman you love.” She has such an older sister trying to stay calm while extremely worried tone during both lines.

-Jeremy continues to be a giant dork and I enjoy it.

-Who hurt Nicole Haught? Her reaction to Goo Wynonna’s comments makes me suspect she was previously in a relationship she thought was stable and committed, but the girlfriend burned everything down and made her feel overbearing on the way out.

-Doc and Dolls begrudging brotrain rolls on, and continues to be a surprising delight this season.

-”What do you mean ‘all of it’” - I’m glad they’re highlighting Kat’s excellent comedic timing.

-”Are those pants?” I couldn’t help but view this moment actually playing out as: “Hello fellow fully human person, I see you’re wearing pants, which I, also a fully human person not at all possessed by a Goo demon, wear.” 

Anyway, that’s it for this week. Can’t wait for 2x06. Maybe I’ll actually have coherent and cohesive thoughts about it, but with this show, I doubt it. It’s just too good.

Imagine the world where 98% of the population is autistic, and allism is a disorder. Imagine the world that was built for autistic people and doesn’t support allistic people. Imagine the world where allism is a disability. Imagine a world where an autistic mum finds out that her only son is allistic. Imagine…
A Very Weird World Indeed

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anonymous asked:

Prompt idea: One where the baby hasn't kicked in like a day and Ali gets all worried something happened (she's like really pregnant) and Em calms her down and then he kicks please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?

loved this thank you!! <3

Ali sat silently on the couch, her fingers locked together on top of her very, very, pregnant belly. She chewed feverishly as the inside of her cheek, tasting blood, as she watched the clock devotedly, her eyes not leaving the rhythmic ticking of the little black line. 3 hours. 3 hours since her baby had kicked. 3 hours since any movement had caused tiny feet to be pressed up against her belly button. 3 hours since she had been awake. 3 hours since she had snuck out of hers and Emily’s bed to sit alone in the dark in the dead of the night without the strength to move because why, why had her baby stopped dancing? Her heart hammered relentlessly in her chest as she waited a few more minutes, each second that passed becoming more and more fearful. Resting her head in her hands, she let out a buried sigh. It was only when the lights suddenly illuminated the room that she looked up, relieved but also guilty to find Emily standing there in a pair of silk pyjamas, a frown on her face.

“Ali?” She said, relief radiating out of her as she raced over to the sofa and took her in her arms, holding her head into her shoulder with furious protectiveness. “what are you doing down here in the dark? I thought something had happened” Emily wanted to be annoyed but as Ali refused to let go she realised that maybe something had happened.

“He hasn’t kicked, Em” Ali said quietly as Emily pulled them both back onto the sofa, Ali curling into her side as she softly stroked her hair. “it’s been three hours” Emily froze for a moment.

“Why didn’t you wake me up” she said “Ali, we’re in this together. You don’t have to sit here and wait this out by yourself” Ali sighed, averting her gaze from Emily’s. “come on, we need to go to the hospital” Emily stood up abruptly, running across the room to grab the phone. Ali’s eye bulged open as she followed her girlfriend, grabbing the phone out of her hand and slamming It back down on the hook.

“Emmy-no” She said decisively “this is why I didn’t wake you up. The books say you should wait 6 hours before calling anyone” Emily sighed, tilting her head and not releasing Ali from her stare as she reached behind her to the grab the phone again.

“Alison- I don’t care what the books say” As she furiously dialled their OBGYN’s number, Alison grimaced at the use of her full name.

“Don’t call me Alison” she said “you know I only like that when we’re in bed” she teased, trying to distract Emily as she kissed her softly on the cheek and along her jaw so she could prise the phone out of her hand. Unsurprisingly, it worked. But only for a moment. “Just- please wait until morning” She said gently as the phone was put back to where it came from. Emily pursued her lips as she stared, torn as to what to do.

“I’ll give you an hour” She bargained. Ali sighed, slowly nodding her head in agreement. “go and put a movie on. I’ll make you some hot chocolate” Ali grinned, grabbing the phone before she walked across the room and curled underneath a blanket. She watched happily as Emily fretted around her drink in the kitchen, already feeling calmer just being in her presence. Flicking through Netflix, she landed on ‘Ella Enchanted’- some Anne Hathaway movie from god-knows how long ago.

“Oh my god my favourite!” Emily said sarcastically as she walked back over, two hot chocolates and a mountain of cookies piled on a tray. Ali rolled her eyes as she placed them both on the table, stretching her arm around the blonde as she snuggled into the sofa.

“Shush” Ali ordered with a smirk as her eyes fixed on the Telly, her belly protruding out of the blanket, blocking Emily’s view ever so slightly. She smiled, placing her hand on top of it. Ali looked down at her briefly and smiled, but said nothing. Her fingers traced Ali’s stomach delicately as she lifted up her jumper, drawing little shapes across the stretch marks and humming to herself as Ali delicately ran her hand through Emily’s hair. They stayed like that for a good 30 minutes, as Emily progressed from humming to quiet singing under her breath, the movie almost forgotten as they basked in each other’s company. It was only interrupted as Ali took a sharp intake of breath, suddenly sitting up, flinging Emily across to the other side of the sofa. As she saw traces of pain appear on Ali’s face she immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her up.

“No! No it’s fine, it’s good” Ali promised with a grin “that was just a really, really hard kick” She couldn’t barely speak coherently through the smile that plastered her face and Emily let out a sigh of relief.

“My god, Ali” She said, slapping her lightly on the arm “you scared me”

“Sorry” Ali shrugged, pulling them both back down on the sofa “I guess he likes the sound of his mama’s voice” She smirked, kissing her lightly on the tip of her nose and sending her whole face into a crimson red.

“I’m just glad he’s okay” she said, grabbing the remote and pausing the movie. Ali side-eyed her in annoyance, trying to take it off her before she flung it across the room and it landed on the armchair.

“What are you doing?” Ali said suspiciously as she noticed the little glint in Emily’s eye that she was slowly becoming accoustomed too. Emily shrugged, leaning up to kiss Ali as she pushed her back onto the couch, letting her hands slowly graze the insides of her thigh.

“We’ve only got a couple more weeks to be up in the middle of night by ourselves” she muttered, stretching up to Ali’s ear and sending a trail of shivers down her spine as her hot breath tickled her neck “what do you say we make the most of it?” She pulled away for a second before going any further, waiting for Ali to give her the smile she knew and loved.

“I say yes please” Ali breathed, and Emily was forever grateful for that night, as it was one of their last together before their baby boy arrived merely 72 hours later.

Male Orgasm Control for a better sex life

Initial source : Benefits Of Male Orgasm control through applied Tantrism and Taoism
Inspired by a post by Aislin Acquati on May 1, 2013
Edited and augmented by Vulcain99 in June 2017

Other sources :

Alice Stockham – A book for every woman, 1886

Wikipedia - Coitus reservatus

“He knows how I like it,” explains Emily Darnell, a married advertising executive in her late twenties. She’s glowing as she details the sexual routine she has with her husband. “First he goes down on me, often for a half hour or so, and then when I’m right there on the verge of cumming, he enters me and fucks me viciously and I have such an intense orgasm.”
She stresses those lost two words, eyes wide with excitement. Intense… orgasm.
“But not him. He isn’t allowed. He stops after I cum so we can have cuddle time and I think it’s so hot feeling his hard cock pressed against my ass, knowing it belongs to me and his pleasure is mine to give or withold. It is quite the power trip!”
Emily is just one of a growing number of women who practice erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial or orgasm control, a sexual practice in which a man is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without orgasm. The length of time can range from hours and days to weeks and months.
“He’s much more attentive to me when he hasn’t cum for a while, much more willing to please me, to communicate with me.” says Emily. “And I’m all over him cuddling and thankful for his commitment while reminding him that it’s me who says when ”

Old knowledge practiced today

Directly derived from the teachings of Tantrism and Taoism, this way of leading a sex life between partners actually puts old knowledge into modern times. Having her man preserving his sexual energy, making it accumulating and channeling it to her is directly inspired from Tantrism. Taoism teaches us complete control of ejaculation as this is considered as a loss of male vital energy if practiced too often. The theory would be ideally having a man releasing his sperm only when the intention of procreation is there (cf. Alice Stockham) but modern society sees this otherwise as pleasure is the main drive of our lives nowadays.

If we look behind the curtain, science has shown that orgasm and sperm release are two different things and are triggering chemicals in the male brain. Spermal release through various non orgasmic techniques will ease the physical pressure the male partner might experience after longer periods of chastity. The pressure of seminal fluid in the prostatic gland might become uncomfortable and trigger an unwanted release during jntercourse so it is actually preferable to ‘milk’ the male partner when he feels that he is on the brink of uncontrolled release.

Sciences tells us also that orgasm denial builds up high dopamine levels in the brain while orgasm generates prolactin, a substance that makes dopamine drop rapidly. Without high levels of dopamine, a male partner is less attentive and loving than when kept on the edge for weeks and months. Of course masturbation with an orgasm will subsequently drop dopamine levels and thus it is important that the female partner stays in control rather than him. The couple’s harmony depends on these high dopamine levels and to keep these high discipline is required.

Now where is the issue ? Things are Males are addicted to orgasm by their biology and will search to relase as often as possible their sperm through masturbation or intercourse. This is what happens for most of them and intercourse with their partner is centered around his penis and his orgasm. Very often the female partner doesn’t even reach one orgasm while the male partner once done, gets quickly disinterested and the session is over.

The point here is to change this old rule by using ancient orgasm control technique together with modern sexual life where the female partner becomes the center of attention and in control of the male’s orgasms. Basically if the male partner is not allowed to cum when he wants, he will stay aroused and focused on her. He will keep his sexual energy, build it up and wait for her to tell him when he’s allowed to release. You can increase your male partners energy by edging him and by making him wait longer periods of time. This works only with discipline and trust. The truth is, men clearly need help controlling their cock.

Teasing and denying a man is extremely pleasuring for you and sexy to him. Eventually, you might allow your lover to have an orgasm as a reward for pleasing you and to strengthen your intimate ties. But when you finally decide to let this happen - make it HIS moment. Offer yourself to him and whisper sexy things in his ear to ever increase the sexual tension. Be focused on him so that he can release without any afterthought, freeing himself in an incredible orgasmic wave from the accumulated sexual tension.

When asked how she ensures her man isn’t masturbating, Emily said, “well – that’s the trick, he has to give you his word, and you have to let him know how disappointed you’ll be if he masturbates. Most guys who give control of their orgasm to you will at some point cheat and masturbate. You’ll soon recognize the signs – he becomes less agreeable, and his sexual response time slows. You’re able to pick up on subtle clues.”

Kimberly Thomas, a recent college graduate, has a similar approach and says, “A guy’s whole demeanor changes after masturbation. After you get to know him, it’s really easy to tell if he’s jerked off. If I suspect it, I just extend the time until he can cum again.
In some couples the game goes as far as that she physically locks his genital parts in a chastity device but this is more an SM fantasy game than a necessity. Basically this ‘game’ relies on trust and honesty. If one of the partners is not fully involved in the game and it’s rules it’s not going to work. On the other hand full adoption of the rules leads to permanent sexual excitement and a strong couple.

Benefits of Male Orgasm Denial

1. You’re in charge. He cums when you decide.
2. You’re the focus. Receive sexual and sensual pleasure the way you want and when you want.
3. You’re always desired. He’ll want you constantly.
4. The lines of communication are now open. He’s now more willing to share his thoughts and feelings with you and you are driving his desire for you with ever loving attention to make him feel that you value his commitment
5. You will explore your sex life to every extent

There are numerous benefits to women who practice male orgasm denial, and don’t worry about him, because he will experience pure ecstasy as a result. He will enjoy hours of passionate sex, rather than a short session of fucking for release. And, when you do allow him to cum, it will be a mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasm.

Your man will also gain heightened sensual sensitivity. Emily says, “My husband often jokes that he gets a hard on whenever the wind blows. I can just brush my hand across his cock, and it gets hard almost instantly.”
Make no mistake about it – Emily is in control of his orgasms but this is a 50/50 relationship where he enjoys new sensations and she gets more attention and orgasms than ever before – her lover enjoys the results of being played by a woman who has mastered this art. “My husband has become my willing sex toy and I reward him with lots of kisses, cuddles, caresses, teasings and whisper sexy words  in his ears. I can ask him to undress when I want,  to have him licking my pussy whenever I desire, to kiss and massage or have intercourse anytime. He is always aroused and ready to go. And it almost never ends with him cumming, only me.’’

Male orgasm denial is erotic for both partners, but it offers multiple benefits to women. Being in charge of a sexually aroused man is electrifying – both mentally and physically. Knowing you have the power to cause and prevent events from happening, as well as create the conditions, is exciting.
Kimberly says, “I feel very excited. I mean, I control a very key part of his manhood. I learned by experience that a horny man is an loving man,” says Kimberly. On the other side she covers him with compliments, affection, massages, flatters his cock, whispers thankful words in his ear for taking care of her many orgasms and shows gratefulness while reminding also that she counts and controls the days on which he’s allowed to cum.
This is precisely the way this partnership works, keeping him confident and aroused and her sexually satisfied to every extent.

 Orgasms – Orgasms – Orgasms

Since you decide when your man will be able to cum as a reward for pleasing you, he will make every effort to give you orgasms – with his cock – his tongue – a vibrator – any way you please. Some men can stay hard and please their woman as long as needed once they are used to restraining themselves from cumming. As a result, you can expect to have multiple orgasms.
When asked how she benefited from male orgasm control, Kimberly said, “More orgasms more often for me, harmony in our partnership and peace".

Teasing and denying

Teasing and denying is fun, and it gives both sex partners a rush. When practicing male orgasm denial, you arouse your lover until he is on the verge of cumming, and then you make him stop – he is not allowed to cum. Tease and denial can take place during sex, but you can also get very creative by using sex toys.
Kimberly says, “Tease and denial is a very important aspect. I’m really into edging and brewing guys. I also like to use some emotional teasing – like when I’m cumming, I’ll say something like, ‘No, don’t cum, I don’t want you to, resist the urge. I decide ok ?’ to him which makes him even more excited. I’ve also told him in the past a man’s orgasm is for making babies, and since we’re not trying to make a baby, why does he need to cum? This makes him even more aroused. I’ve also reasoned with him that a woman’s orgasm is purely for pleasure. It’s really fun between us as we have a huge complicity in sex.

Milking or brewing

The problem you might encounter is that your man might actually build up too much sperm in his prostate, especially if you keep him chaste over weeks or months. This might make him unstable when rocking in and out of you. To reduce the risk of ejaculation or spilling sperm unwillingly, you might want to tease and milk your man to reduce the pressure. It will slightly reduce his levels of hornyness but evacuate the excessive sperm and allow again long sessions with him in you.
To milk or brew your partner i.e. to evacuate the excessive sperm without making him cum there are basically two options. Either you tease and deny him until sperm starts to flow like lava from his cock (sexy and exciting but this can take up to an hour and you take the risk of a preorgasm through risky stimulation) or you can stimulate the prostate gland directly by introducing one or two fingers in his anus and gently massaging the prostate’s seminal gland (not easy to have him accept this in the beginning btw). This second option might be surprising and requires lots of trust but it’s very efficient and rather quick depending on the levels of fullness of the gland. Some couples even use a prostate stimulator to make sure he gets the right stimulation.

You see, when you tease your man and deny him an orgasm regularly, you are building his frustration tolerance; therefore, he becomes very affectionate and more fun to be with. Why ? Because when a man is teased and denied, he experiences a mindset change. Remember the dopamine/energy pile up ? This is the reason. As a result, he reacts much like a female does after an orgasm. He wants to be intimate and snuggle. This allows for a more like-minded, enjoyable relationship.

 An Energetic Lover

As you now know, when a man cums, his energy level declines. However, a guy who has his orgasms controlled has an increase in vitality due to built up sexual energy. The result is a man full of life who is willing to use his energy – by taking you out – communicating – massaging you - however you want.

Emily explains it this way – “In some spiritual beliefs like Taoism, orgasm control is encouraged to preserve a man’s strength and essence. Ever heard that old adage in sports that athletes should avoid sex while training? You know that brief moment after a guy comes where he gets emotionally distant and physically spent? Taoists call that ‘the little death,’” she said.

Getting Started

It’s easy if your partner is willing and trusts you. The key is the way you make him feel how much you appreciate him for leaving you in control so that you build up his trust in you. Be aware that handing over his orgasms to you is a true gift from him to you and a sign of true love and devotion to your person. Make it clear that you’re now managing this part of his life but that you also highly appreciate his commitment. This is key in the rewarding mechanism that makes him feel good for giving you pleasure and affection. It’s this that keeps the whole thing going. Being a selfish bitch that uses her man just to cum whenever she wants it will ruin the alchemy rather quickly.

If he’s not, try to explain the benefits and start having sex where he holds back for a day, then 2 then 3. He’ll get to understand how this works and how exciting it is.

How long between two orgasms ? Keep in mind that you will have to increase the amount of time he goes without an orgasm gradually, but 2 weeks to 1 month is a good time frame for a build up.
In the end it can be one per month as a routine but some couples have been seen with him having an orgasm only once per quarter and sometimes more.

The thing is that he can improve and master his orgasms or need to orgasm through tantric exercises where he releases his perineal muscles completely combined with slow breathing to evacuate the contractions leading to orgasm. That way he stays in control of his body and will serve your pleasure endlessly without fighting constantly the urge to cum.

You are the sweet princess - he is your energic knight. The ability to tame him lies in your hands.
Have you mastered the art of male orgasm control ? If not, are you ready to start?

anonymous asked:

#25 W/Emily Prentiss. Congrats on 600!!! :)

Thank you hun. I hope it’s okay.

#25  “Please don’t leave me. Everyone always leaves.”

Leaving isn’t always a choice

Emily x Reader

Word count: 1531

Song: Broken by Seether and Amy lee

Originally posted by em-ily-pren-tiss

You have had a long and heart breaking past of people always leaving you.  When you were a baby your  parents had given you up for adoption were you were adopted by a really nice couple until they too were taken from you by a car crash when you were only sixteen. You went into foster care making friends just for them to leave and go to another home. Life was hard but you managed to pull through it getting a job and meeting your first girlfriend only for her to break up with you a few months later over a guy.

You felt like the whole world was against you. Anytime you opened yourself up to people they always left you. And you knew that it wasn’t always their fault but they were still gone and it fucking hurt. So you built walls and fortified them anytime you even remotely thought about letting someone tear them down. It was a lonely life, a sad life.  So you decided that you would put your loneliness to good use and join the F.B.I. You worked hard all the while keeping your heart under lock down until the day you joined the B.A.U.

They tore your walls down and showed you how to love again. Rossi who never minded his own business, Spencer with his huge brain always making jokes with Derek, the strong one. Then there was Hotch the leader and all around great guy, also Penelope who was always able to make you happy, and J.J who was a great friend and listener and last but not least the quick witted Emily Prentiss.

Emily above everyone else destroyed your walls. She was so strong. Stronger than anyone you had ever met this was one of the reasons you fell in love with her. You admired how she was able to be so strong without hiding and vulnerable without breaking. The day she told you she loved you was just one of the many ways she proved that point.

You had been together for almost a year now and all lingering traces of fear were all but gone. But when the phone rang that night you knew there was something wrong.

And as the team approached the dark deserted house that feeling grew. You didn’t know what to do, you told the team about it on the way there but they all sort of brushed it off, even Emily when you tried to tell her again before everyone got into positions but you got the same reaction. What else could you do though, this was their job and just like them you weren’t going to let a bad feeling get in the way of doing it. You had people to save.

You approached the building then broke off into teams of two. You and Emily went around the back and quietly made your way through the house. When the house was clear and you guys were all standing outside you thought that you had been worrying for nothing when a man jumped out of nowhere and ran for it.

Everyone pulled out there gun except for Emily who ran after him and disappeared into the trees lining the edge of the property. You ran after her feeling that dread from before come again. You ran as fast as you could feel the rest of the team close at your heels when two shots rang out through the night air.

You stopped as fear took over your entire body. With trepidation you walked into the clearing were the man and Emily had run into and felt your blood run cold. The man was lying face down with a blood seeping out of his shirt while Emily laid further away blood rushing out of her leg.

You rushed over to her your heart pounding in your chest “Emily look at me are you okay?” You asked putting pressure on her leg to stop the blood from coming out.

Her eyes were glassy when they met yours “Yeah just a little scratch nothing to worry about.”

You knew she was lying you could feel the blood coming out of her wound as you tried to stop the bleeding the amount of it was making your heart beat even faster with alarm.

“Call an ambulance tell them we have an officer down.” You said looking at Hotch who had joined you kneeling in front of Emily.

Hotch spoke into his radio when Emily’s eyes began to close. You shook her a little trying to keep her from going to sleep.

“Hey baby you need to keep your eyes open. Just stare right at me help is on the way.” You said leaning down to kiss her. She weakly nodded her head when you pulled away and kept her eyes trained on you. But as minuets passed and help was nowhere in sight her blinks were becoming heavier and heavier. You could feel the panic in your voice as you kept talking to her begging her to stay awake.

Finally you could hear sirens and you let a small shred of hope enter your system. But when you looked back down at Emily you saw that her eyes had drifted closed. Fear wound its way through your heart again and tears began to slide down your cheeks. “Emily I love you please don’t leave me. Everyone always leaves. I don’t think I’ll be able to get through this if you leave me too” you sobbed wrapping her in your arms and rocking here back and forth crying into her shoulder.

The paramedics got there and took her from your arms putting her on a gurney taking her away to the hospital. You and the team followed behind in the black SUV’S you used to get to the crime scene.

When you got to the hospital no one would tell you what was happening and you hated it. Waiting to find out if the love of your life was alive or dead was pure torture. Everyone was trying to comfort you while they dealt with their own grief which was only making the situation worse.

Hours passed and you still heard nothing. Then just before dawn a tired looking doctor walked out to the waiting room and called out Emily’s name. You and the rest of the team immediately stood and walked over to him and started peppering him with questions.

He held his hand up effectively quieting you down as he began to speak. “She lost a lot of blood. We had to do a transfusion and surgery to fix some internal bleeding that the bullet caused. It was a rough few hours for her but she pulled through. A few minutes more and we would have been too late” He said smiling at the relieved expressions on everyone’s face. “She’s ready to see you if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to her.”

You followed the doctor to her room and felt tears again seeing her alive and awake. She looked up at you and held out her arms some of her own tears falling down her cheeks. You ran over and threw your arms around her holding tight unwilling to let her go.

After a moment she pulled away just enough to tip her head back and press her lips to yours in a kiss that held more relief than any words could say. When she drew away you sat down next to her on the bed as she greeted the rest of the team with hugs and kisses and solace.

After a while of mingling the team filed out one by one until you two were the only ones left. You were lying down next to her content holding her in your arms while her finger stroked through your hair. “I heard you up in the forest telling me to stay. I fought so hard to stay awake for you because I promised you I wouldn’t leave you like everyone else did.”

“I knew you would fight it but you don’t always get that choice” You said reaching up and taking one of her hands that were running through your hair to lace your fingers together.

She sighed and squeezed your hand “I know but there is something we can chose right here and right now.”

“What‘s that?” you asked sitting up and turning around to look at her.

She reached out with her free hand to cup your face. “Will you marry me y/n. I love you more than anything and I want you to know that you will never be alone again. You are the love of my life and I can’t imagine my life without you?”

You sat there stunned for a second and then smiled as you leaned in to kiss her “Of course I’ll marry you Emily” You said looking into her brown eyes that were filled with so much happiness and love that you were sure was mirrored in your own.  After that you laid there in the hospital clinging to each other as the night turned into day and you thought to yourself that someone finally stayed.