also i look so young wtf is that

Let us also hate the smaller details of the Pepsi ad

Everything about the new Pepsi ad is repugnant and insulting, okay? The two supporting characters to Kendall Jenner’s lead role are (A) a hipster cellist who beckons her to join a “protest” and (B) a hijab-wearing photographer whose moment of triumph is capturing a celebutante model hand a cop a can of soda. The cumulative effort is the single most repellent video I’ve seen since I watched an actual beheading.

But! Let’s not get bogged down in think-piece territory. There are lots of LITTLE things to hate about the video, too. And we should appreciate every terrible detail.

“Join the conversation” is a blank-box social media prompt. It is not something you would put on a sign for a public demonstration, even if that public demonstration were for something as nebulous and inoffensive as LOVE or PEACE. 

“Hey, you coming to the peace rally?”

“Yup, got my Join the conversation sign and some cans of soda.”

“Perfect, that is everything you need for a protest in free democracy.”

WHO MADE THESE SIGNS?

It started as a circle with a line through it, but there doesn’t appear to be anything inside the circle, because the people who made this commercial couldn’t take the chance of being actually AGAINST anything, even if they were going to slap a heart over it to show that love conquers all. 

NO HATE? Whoa, slow down! We’re pro-love, but we’re not anti-anything. Nazis can love, you know. And they deserve the fresh taste of Pepsi as much as the woke millennials whose business we so desperately crave.”

WTF? “JoTin The conversation”? Hey, the milquetoast invitation for discourse wasn’t half-assed enough, let’s shittify it an extra 15% with a nonsensical design flourish.

“Hey man, made that LOVE sign you wanted.”

“Looks like the lettering was too small the first time so you painted over it and gave it another go.”

“Correct.”

“And the second time was also not large enough to fill the sign.”

“Listen, I didn’t have all day.”

Bullshit fucking fake-ass spacious protest. “We’re marching for peace … and elbow room!”

AD EXEC 1: Y’know, not ALL young people like protesting. Can some of them just be, like, eating pizza?

AD EXEC 2: Should they get up and join the protesters? It doesn’t really fit with Kendall’s narrative.

AD EXEC 1: Fuck no, they’ve got pizza. 

Kendall Jenner’s mind is blown as she sees middle-class people for the first time! 

KENDALL: Ew, what’s that smell?

PA: I believe that’s a mix of debt and diplomas.

KENDALL: What and what?

OH SNAP. Kendall has shed the artifice of wig and lipstick to join the FIGHT to, uh, join a discussion about love? I feel so empowered! And thirsty!

Welcome to the protest! Everyone’s marching with plenty of space on a pleasant day in Los Angeles, but we have a hydration station that may or may not dehydrate you (the science is still kinda iffy, don’t look it up).

What’ll it be? We have Pepsi, Silver Pepsi, Pepsi Blakk, and Pepsi in bottles. Just some ice chips? Okay, but they’re not water. 100% Crystal Pepsi.

Step back from this article for a second, dear reader. Place aside your immediate thoughts of the protester-police unity achieved by Kendall Jenner giving a handsome cop a Pepsi (even though there wasn’t tension between the crowd and the cops before this, because that would have taken some sort of narrative risk). Table, if just for a moment, the emotional and political flashpoints of Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, the Women’s March on Washington, conspiracy theories about paid protesters, and the increasingly fraught existence of basically everyone in America except for a small percentage of exceedingly wealthy people.

Consider, instead, the marketing team behind this. This was born in a brainstorming session, or perhaps in an executive’s mind as he watched a throng of angry, desperate people stand up for what they believe is right. This is a branding opportunity, someone thought, fanning the flames of a garbage can fire in Rome. 

If I can give Pepsi any credit here, it’s the notion that a pretty white girl born into money and fame is the best person to bridge the gap between protesters and police. We could have really used her in Ferguson. 

I’m sure she was busy.

Yeah, totally. Join the conversation.

anonymous asked:

wait, what's the difference between Cassian's real age and the age they say he is?

I’m assuming this is in response to my tags about the amazing @notbecauseofvictories thing I reblogged about Cassian and Mon Mothma, because I vaguely remember typing something like that, but it might not have been; regardless, if anyone reading this diatribe hasn’t read it, they should go do that. 

Diego Luna is 36. 37 now. Born in 1979, just like me. Look at him, look at his face as he plays Cassian; he has creases around his eyes and the bones of his face are sharp in a way they weren’t when Diego Luna was in his mid-20s. He’s beautiful, he’s not young, he’s weathered and sharp and his life is engraved on his face. He’s not old, but he’s not young. I can’t find the still I want: it’s when Jyn has the blaster and he tells her to give it to him, and she slyly says “Trust goes both ways” and he stares at her for a moment. Every minute he has lived shows in his face in that shot, every moment of pure agonizing bullshit he has ever weathered is just right there to see, and it’s fucking amazing. It’s like a half-second acting clinic in Having A Face While Being In Your Late Thirties And Having Seen Some Shit. It’s absolutely what I wish I could do with my face. (I can’t. I have zits and wrinkles at the same time. No one takes me seriously, I get carded for booze, and I’m also old enough to be invisible. it’s amazing.) I can’t find it, so have this still instead. 

According to Wookieepedia and various promotional materials, Cassian Andor is 26.

It’s not… impossible… for a man of 26 to look like that but… why… 

I’ve just done the Extra™ thing and looked up what Diego looked like when he was 26.

As someone of Diego’s actual age, I feel like that matters. I understand, Cassian would lead a more weathering life than Diego presumably has (I actually don’t really know his RL business but I’m assuming it involved a lot less murder and espionage, and I’m super sorry if that’s an incorrect assumption, but come on Diego is a human sunshine muffin I’m not drawing this out of thin air here).

He’s still not a baby in this photo, of course. He has lines around his eyes, a little bit. Probably if he were frowning his forehead would have some of that crease in it that Cassian has in every frame (because he is frowning in every frame, but, you know). But his cheekbones are still smoothly hidden under softness, there are no hollows above his jaw, he’s soft and smooth and pretty and it doesn’t take anything away, he just doesn’t have as many lived moments in his face to turn wearily on Jyn and visibly decide that he just has no fucks left to give over whether she shoots him or not.

Anyway! A bunch of us writer types were sort of just assuming that Cassian was played by an actor about his age, and have constructed headcanons accordingly, and they are way more interesting headcanons I think than him being a murder baby! It’s the sort of thing, I admit, that at 26 I would have been like “what does it matter” but now that I am 37 I am like “no it matters a bunch, honey”. 

ALSO FELICITY JONES is 33 and I was SO EXCITED that they had a heroine over 30 but NO, Jyn is supposed to be like 20 or whatever, WTF. WTF! WTF! Ugh. COME ON, LET WOMEN AGE. It’s bad enough the only women in star wars have to be under five-three and brunette with large eyes and wide mouths but now they also have to be under 30 whether or not their actress is. (CARRIE FISHER WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME.)

Obviously the casting people weren’t really thinking “not every adventure has to happen to Very Young Adults” which is what I was so excited about, they were thinking “These Hot Young People Should Be Played By Hot Slightly-Older People Because Adventure Makes You Look Slightly Older Than You Are”, which is bullshit

i can already tell i’m going to be one salty motherfucker the entire time my sister liz is pregnant..

I hate the entire culture??? around pregnancy, like when relatives expectantly look at newlywed brides like “so….. when are you having a baby?~”
when she and her spouse feel like having a kid IF they feel like having a kid, aunt susan. mind your fucking business.
no one should have a kid based off of the wants of relatives

and i also hate people who like babies because of the ‘new baby smell’
like…. get away from me????

another thing about pregnancy that pisses me off is people looking at young girls like “i can’t wait for you to have kids”
you are talking to a child, about them having a child. wtf is wrong with those people??

don’t assume because a human is born with the parts to make/carry new life that they want to use it.

people need to stop being baby crazy.

okay so I just went onto Harry Potter Wiki and it says that Tina was born in 1901 (it also says that Percival Graves was born pre 1909 ) and that Seraphina Picquery was born in 1903. Okay???? (I always thought Picquery was older but anyway. 

Newt was born in 1897, so he’s older than Percival……

Also it says on HP Wikia, that Seraphina Picquery ended president term in 1928 but beside her birthdate it says 1928. 

So does Seraphina get killed off or something like?????

anonymous asked:

Unpop op: I hate how much the media buys into K*lie and Kend*ll Jen*er; they honestly wouldn't bother me if I could look at websites w/out having to see their faces,, also that they use other ppls culture for their own gain.. this is gonna sound petty: but that one time k*lie snapchatted her "ramen recipe" and it was literally garlic powder and an egg, everyone was flipping their shh?? I make ramen the way my mom taught and it's "garbage student food", k adds a fucking egg and its gourmet, wtf

BAHAHAHAH YESSSSSS I SO STRONGLY AGREE !!!!!!!!!!! I wish like smart asf science gals or my art ladies or like young and up-coming political girls got a fraction of the attention these week af rich fake ugly rude annoying lazy girls get pmfh I could rant for years about how much I hate them and their fame h o n e s t l y

can we just take a moment to appreciate billie joe armstrong?

billie joe is the frontman of american punk rock band green day. the band has been together since 1986 and throughout that entire time billie has been blessing the world with his amazing music and all around greatness

one of their albums was literally turned into a tony award winning broadway musical and it’s actually amazing

he’s super passionate about what he does

he says great stuff like this:

he’s got two kids and he’s the most punk rock dad look at him at his son’s graduation also both of his sons are older than me and i feel so young wtf??

he manages to make these bunny ears look punk af

also he can totally rock practically any hair colour. like honestly billie joe how??? 

he’s openly identified as bisexual since 1995 and wrote ‘Coming Clean’ about him coming to terms with his sexuality

he’s been married to his wife adrienne since 1994 and first met at one of green day’s first gigs when she approached him asking where she could buy one of their cds

look at how cute he and his entire family are wow so adorable

in short, not only is billie joe armstrong an incredible musician but he is also an excellent human being and i love him so much. this post serves no purpose other than just me crying over this amazing man

Caught at Lord and Taylor!

Omg! Bitches I got caught!! Wtf!! Okay so me and my lifting buddy were at Lord and Taylor, we go to two locations near us all the time and never ever have a problem there. It’s so easy for us at the locations we normally go to, but today we went to a diff one and just fucking assumed it’d be easy. Nope wrong. I grabbed a Fitbit that I’ve been wanting for so long, detagged on the floor and slipped the sensor into some jeans I was holding once I got in the dressing room. I thought I was being totally stealthy and shit I didn’t see any cameras, I wasn’t being dumb or anything and I know that there was nobody around who saw me. So anyways I keep on shopping with my friend, she also had a Fitbit in her bag and I detagged it for her at the same time I did mine. But we were looking around because she needed some jeans and I wanted a pair too and these two guys walked up to us and they weren’t in uniform and they seemed relatively young so I thought they were just dudes trying to talk to two girls. The taller one came up to me with a big smile on his face and said “hey ladies how’s it going?” And I kinda shrug smiled back like uh wtf I’m fine? And then his smile just totally disappears and he says “okay show me where you put the Fitbit.” And I’m not stupid I wasn’t tryna play no games w this dude he was big and scary as fuck so I just pulled it out and started crying saying “I’m so sorry I’ve never done anything like this before it was just untagged and I really wanted it I’m so sorry I’m so stupid I can’t believe I did that” and he wasn’t having any of my shit he just said “do u have anything else in ur bag” and thank fuck I didn’t because if I did I probably would’ve taken it out because I was scared out of my mind but I said no and he just replied with “okay why don’t you two get out of here. Like now. Right now.” So we left and got out and walked sooo far away before sitting down and taking a breath. Scariest 30 seconds of my life Jesus fuck. I’m just glad they were really nice about it and didn’t take me back or search my bags or call my parents. They didn’t even ask for my name or anything. Moral of the story, DONT ASSUME EVERY LOCATION IS GOING TO HAVE THE SAME POLICIES / IS GOING TO BE EASY BECAUSE DIFFERENT LOCATIONS WILL HAVE A DIFFERENT GAME PLAN DEPENDING ON WHERE THEY ARE DONT FUCK UP BITCHES.

Okay so in light of this obvious as fuck whitewashing in the casting of the Ghost in the Shell movie Ive been seeing some bullshit ass comments about how the characters “dont look asian in the animation”….. and thats just….. such garbage honesty??

Like holy fuck its a cartoon its animated people make stylistic choices! Do the character in fuckin ED Edd and Eddy LOOK white? no they dont and in fact they arent really comparable to any real life human at all AND YET any logical person can use context clues to infer that they are young white boys living in America. 

I am sooo beyond over people pretending that its somehow unreasonable to recognize that characters who speak japanese, have japanese names and actually DO look japanese are in fact japanese LIKE??? Sorry that not every character who has a similar skin tone to u is the same ethnicity as u. Also wtf stereotypes do these ppl have in their heads when they imagine japanese ppl cuz like..? Its not like its a hidden plot device like these characters are pretty obviously japanese its not subtle

Anyways hollywood is racist and so are anime fans i guess thats not really news anymore but w/e

Phil Lester fucks me up because

•He’s so fucking cute, he’s a freaking ray of sunshine.
•But he’s also super hot. Like TOO HOT dammit
•And he’s almost 30. How the fuck?!!
•But he looks so young and fluffy and innocent
•He is kinda shy and quiet. So pretty
•But he’s also very funny and has strong opinions
•He’s a human contradiction.

star wars re-watch: so i watched rots… yeah…

  • i’m actually glad our planned re-watch went to hell and i still have my fave two movies to look forward to so i can erase this movie from my mind
  • the plot caught up with the writing and they both decided they should start seeing different people, but remain friends, which is why almost everyone fell down with an extreme case of the giving-ups, some in more extreme ways than others
  • “you were my brother” and i’m not going to mercy kill you cause you deserve to slowly burn to death. stay crispy my sith friend. (again major props to mcgregor for his performance that speech was great)
  • “we must wait for the right time” says yoda as he fucks off to a far off planet luke only accidentally stumbles upon a few days before yoda shuffles off this moral coil (and yeah even if you  think that the whole yoda calling to him stuff doesn’t make it accidental let me remind you that in different circumstances luke would be whining about not having a life while he continued to not get one in the middle of nowhere)
  • “she has nothing to live for” they say of padme, who was just naming her children with a smile on her face, insisted anakin still had good in him (lord fucking knows why) AND HAD JUST LOST HER NUMBER ONE FOREVER LOVE DEMOCRACY TO A DUDE SHE’D MAKE SURE TO BLAST SILLY EVEN IF IT WAS THE LAST THING SHE DID
  • “we’ve always talked about adopting a baby girl.”/ “what about the boy?” / “…boys smell.” in which organa is a firm believer in the girls are queens and boys are lowly peasants school of thought
  • even obi-wan lost his farmer’s market hot to a haircut. he was still beleaguered single dad hot but it’s not the same
  • speaking of hot… i don’t know what that says about me but anakin in this movie makes me think padme had terrible taste in men but not terrible taste in men if you know what i mean. that scar. the black leather. that angst that had matured like fine whine. delicious. it’s too bad about the whole genocidal rage monster tendencies. i guess no one is perfect.
  • i fucking hate every time this movie made me think “well. they have a point.” about the sith
  • bless the wardrobe department i hate the jedi but i do not hate the shoulder width those tops give them
  • and yeah i despise them but they way they went down? fucking awful. imagine your brothers in arms shooting you in the back the second they got the order. the second.
  • speaking of which why wasn’t yoda targeted before he felt his jedi die? i mean you’re going up against fucking yoda you’d at least want the element of surprise on your side
  • “younglings” very sad but also wtf was children or young ones not good enough? wtf?
  • koala bear obi-wan in the elevator shaft
  • yoda mcclaining it in the space vents
  • the skywalker tradition of insulting people’s height
  • padme was so alone in this movie… like she used to be surrounded with people and i understand her need for secrecy but damn. she’s a senator she needs people around her. it was weird and sad.
  • just so you know anakin’s favorite color is yellow. he has picked yellow vehicles at least three times in as many movies. i was looking
  • “you can communicate with qui-gon”  i like to imagine obi-wan said “YOU WERE MAJORLY FUCKING WRONG ABOUT THAT KID YOU MADE ME ADOPT MOTHERFUCKER” and then hung up forever
  • also palpatin was fighting yoda by literally flinging the crumbling remnants of democracy at him. damn
  • i wonder how long palpatine had waited to just go ape-shit on some poor fucker. is the secret to the dark side counting to ten and clenching?

michiferangst  asked:

Young Unalaq was kinda pretty, tho. But nothing beats shirtless Tonraq.

Okay, real talk. I see that a lot of people are fans of shirtless Tonraq. But I am so not into beefcakes. Like, this is kind of terrifying to me:

Tonraq is totally my mental image for young Robert Baratheon though. Give this man a war-hammer.

I agree that young Unalaq is okay:

Still a bit long in the face, but boy did he not age well.

Look, if we’re going to objectify the men in the series, then just give me Wing and Wei (please tell me they come as a packaged deal):

Especially in their stealth gear:

And yes, I say this knowing I’m far too old for them. Also wtf is that, a floating arm?

I just want to talk a little bit about my grandpa. He’s like that eccentric relative everybody wished they had. This man has 25 chihuahuas. 25. He’s always dressed to the nines. He will wear a lavender suit with a satin shirt (and a scarf, of course) to the most casual restaurant, and let me tell you he looks fly af. His hair is long and he dyes it blonde. He carries a man purse (it was made from material my grandma gave him, my grandma died 27 years ago). He’s 100% Italian which is something he’s very proud of. He eats crazy healthy. He once told me one of his favorite foods is a baked potato with nothing on it (wtf??). He’s from New England so he has an accent. When my friends and sisters’ friends meet him, the first question they ask afterwards is always, “Is your grandpa in the mafia?” Because he just gives off that kind of vibe I guess?? It cracks me up every time. He’s the kind of guy who random strangers will go up to asking for advice, just because he looks like a guy who knows things. He’s also smart af. Man can do math like it’s his job (which it was for a while). Back when he was a young whipper-snapper, dude worked his way up the corporate ladder to become the CEO of a successful company. He’s also mega generous. When we go out to eat he’ll buy meals for homeless people. One Christmas he bought all his grandkids MacBook pros. And he donates mad money to charities. Did I mention he’s hilarious? I just started to feel close to him in the past year. I hope I have a lot more time with him.