also i can't fall asleep

Painting is just an endless cycle of “I don’t know where I’m going” and “how the fuck did I end up here?”.

.

This never ending artblock is killing me. I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything for the past few years. Even the one thing I’m passionate about feels like it’s slowly dying. I don’t wanna have to consider the possibility of something like that. I can’t see myself doing anything else. At the same time I can’t help but feel like I’m stuck like this and it’s only gonna get worse. And the worst part is that no one but me has the sole responsibility to figuring it out. I’m no closer to fixing the problem as I was a year ago.

I don’t know why I’m like this.