also i apologize for my lack of perspective

r-eading  asked:

okay I imagine you get tons of messages and shit per day and whatever and idk this is hella random but this summer three musicians I enjoy released new music and IMO they all sold out and it was super disappointing but idk you seem so genuine and true and your music is literally just that - yours. so anyway u rock and your Twitter always makes me laugh and pls keep making whatever you feel like making

Thank you so much for reaching out and for your kind words, but I can’t help but ask - what do you mean by “sold out”?

If you mean those artists went on to play bigger shows, signed to bigger labels, and started to reach more people and make more money, then I have to say that it might not be “selling out,” but just “becoming an adult.” The thing is, you just can’t keep living in 1 tiny room with 6 other roommates. At some point you need to pay for health insurance because you will age and your body will start malfunctioning, and you will maybe want your own house, and maybe you’ll want a family one day and be able to support them, or you want to be able to help your parents in their last years, and you just want what normal people in other professions naturally get to have. But all that has to be earned somehow, so it either has to come from making music, or come from other said professions, meaning you’ll have to quit music to make a real living. I just don’t think it’s fair to say artists have “sold out” because they want to have a clean home of their own where they feel safe, and I also think it’s underestimated just how little musicians are paid, where we have to do A Lot just to make a tiny bit.

Or if you mean they changed their style and started making music in a different genre, maybe they actually grew or changed as artists, and decided they didn’t want to make the same music as before, and they didn’t like the same things anymore. Artists are also people, and people change all the time, some more than others. We can’t expect artists to never grow as people just because we want only one thing from them.

I don’t know which artists you’re referring to, but I’m always wary of the term “sold out” because I think it lacks perspective. And I’m not saying this to put you down whatsoever; I used to say that about many artists myself until recently, and I’ve only just started to look around and realize maybe I’ve been judgmental for telling people they want the wrong things when I don’t actually know them or their circumstances, and I shouldn’t feel like I have any kind of ownership over how they make their art.

Again, please don’t take my telling you this in any kind of offensive way, and I also apologize if I’m misinterpreting your definition of “sold out.” I’m just saying what I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older, and as I’ve watched good friends make life choices for their health and sanity, that strangers then told them they’re greedy and bad for making. I realized I should be more compassionate towards other artists, and other people, because I don’t know what battles they’re fighting in private, and we’re all just doing our best to live in a fundamentally oppressive system where no one gets to really win.

I have had moments when I have argued to the point of exhaustion because I was committed to ending an argument with the championship belt and victory title. In growth, I have to check myself on that constantly. Especially after becoming an attorney, where I know that I could go blow for blow, round after round, until I’ve beaten every point I’ve made into the ground.
The issue is that that perspective shows a lack of humility, understanding, and maturity. So as I’ve grown up, how I argue changed. And it’s not about being right, it’s about expressing my hurt, listening for his hurt, and getting to a point of mutual understanding, apologizing sincerely, taking steps to move forward while also giving space for the hurt person to be hurt.