also how hot is this person

Listen. This is a terrible outlook on your work-life choices.

Your job and ultimately your career are important choices that should not be dictated by woo-woo bullshit like a “calling”. Should you have an affinity for what you do? Sure, yeah, whatever. At the end the day, though? Your job and career are about providing for yourself and your dependents. Your “personal values” are not lesser just because you took a job that gives you food security and lets you live in a nicer part of town. 

The system is designed to take advantage of people who buy into this having a “calling” bullshit. They’ll eat you alive if you think like that. They’ll pay you $36k/year to work 50 hours a week and still expect more from you. They won’t give you any professional development or training and then they’ll force you to retire early because you can’t keep up with the new, even cheaper hires. And at the end the day, they’ll make sure you’re still saying that old line, “Oh yeah, the pay is terrible, but it’s so rewarding.”

And don’t forget that it’s almost always women who are encouraged into these rewarding jobs for shit pay. Pink-collar jobs are full of professions that have been re-packaged to sell as “callings” instead of bona fide careers: teachers, librarians, nurses, etc. Highly educated women talked into taking bad jobs with worse pay because it’s their calling

I could go on. 

What I really want to do though is encourage you to always think of your career as your career. It is quite literally the thing that keeps you clothed, fed and housed. Career is not a dirty word!  👀 You career should not be dictated by what job gives you the moral high ground or the fuzziest feelings; it should be dictated by the what job gives you the best compensation* for your skills. (*Compensation here does not always equal pure salary, of course.)

anonymous asked:

Shit I'm GAY tell me about Steve pls I love him

He’s what I wish I looked like if I were a good-looking spicy meatball dad D:

Steve’s a self-insert pretty much! Except better! He’s an art director at a large videogame company, something of a metalhead, not a morning person at all and likes to chill with a beer in the evenings while binge-watching crime shows. 

He treads a fine line between ‘cool’ and ‘embarrassing’ dad, he has the power to humiliate his kid with his dad-ness or impress their little friends (depends on how hot the other parents are and if they’re present at the time). 

He wears thumb rings. Prone to sulk on occasion. 

Also a shitposter on social media and the amount of memes in his phone almost almost surpasses that of the pics he’s taken of his child.

She seriously has to be on drugs or mentally ill. You can never blame PKs on anyone. The US didn’t score another goal (I’ll let Jill take the blame on that) and did she forget that Alex kicked hers way over the top. I’m a former keeper & field player & PKs are what they are; you can practice & practice but those nerves take over. If you don’t want PKs, then you have to score. Soccer is a team sport so you can’t pin it on a single player


Yall listen, why are yall giving this person anymore attention? let her have her wrong ‘opinion’ on how she feels about someone shes never met based on what she sees on tv/social media… (that alone should be a red flag to yall) … and also who continues to have hilarious hot takes on soccer.  

10

Someone in the notes of the last Leyendecker post I reblogged mentioned having difficulty telling his work and Rockwell’s apart, and I know from experience that many people get them confused, which is somewhat astonishing as, to my eyes, their styles are very distinct. Leyendecker was Rockwell’s idol and mentor, but they were very different people and were interested in portraying different aspects of humanity, even when the basic subject matter was the same.

Surface-level, here are some differences:

  • Leyendecker smoothed out faults and imperfections (in the young. he stylized them in the old); Rockwell exaggerated them to mild or moderate caricature
  • Leyendecker approached his paintings as sculpture- even the merest clothing folds are carved out of the paint; Rockwell approached his paintings as drawings- the underlying contour always shines through.
  • Leyendecker used broad hatching brushstrokes and areas of smooth shine; Rockwell used more naturalistic texture and lighting
  • Leyendecker created idolized, larger-than-life figures that feel Hellenistic in their perfection; Rockwell created intimate scenes populated by figures that feel familiar in their specificity
  • Leyendecker’s best and most comfortable work was as a fashion/lifestyle illustrator; Rockwell’s best and most comfortable work was as an editorial/humor illustrator 
  • Leyendecker created beautiful still lives with his figures; Rockwell told compelling stories
  • Leyendecker often created erotic tension in his paintings; Rockwell almost never did.

See below: Two paintings of soldiers with women, but in Rockwell’s there is a clear punchline, and while the poses are contrived for the sake of composition, they’re not self-conscious. The women are pretty- as demanded by the central joke- but not truly sexualized anywhere but in the mind of the young soldier who is being overloaded with cake and attention. 

Contrast Leyendecker’s soldiers with a young nurse. Everyone in this image is posing attractively- no one has their mouth full or ears sticking out. Each crease and fold is sharp and sculptural, and the light picks out their best features- in particular the shoulders and posterior of the soldier facing away from the viewer. There is neither joke nor story, merely a group of beautiful young people, portrayed with deft brushwork and graceful lines. (and check out that hatching! That’s indicator #1 that you’ve got a Leyendecker image)

Leyendecker was very comfortable with “hot young things wearing clothes”, and did them very VERY well, but his facility with idealization came at the cost of personalization, which was fine for fashion illustration, but shows in his domestic scenes: 

Beautiful, but… cold. (Also, that hand on the left- who holds a baby with their hand like that??? Good lord, J.C.) Compare a Rockwell illustration (for a baby food brand, I believe) of a mother and baby: this is clearly a real and individual young mother and baby, interacting exactly how parents and babies really interact.

Even when they did basically the same content, and putting aside posing or composition or anything other than objective visual analysis, it’s still obvious who is who:

  • Red: NR’s smoother rendering vs JCL’s super cool hatching
  • Green: NR’s naturalistic cloth folds vs JCL’s sculptural stylization
  • Blue: NR’s natural lighting vs JCL’s world where everything is shiny

Now go forth, confident in the knowledge that you’ll never confuse a Rockwell or a Leyendecker ever again, and can refute any claim that their styles are ‘virtually identical’. 

this show is killing me like jack the ripper travels 130 years into the future and after literally a few hours has already figured out how to get money, a hotel room w/ no i.d. of any kind, work a cell phone, dress himself in current styles, and pick up chicks in night clubs meanwhile h.g. wells wandered around, got hit by a taxi, and can’t even walk straight

people with STDs are used as a punchline and most people dont realize how dehumanizing that is.

“haha would you ever date someone with herpes? what if theres a really hot guy with AIDS would you date them”

people with STDs are still desirable. theyre not gross, theyre not dirty. they are not joke fodder. theres also more to them than their disease

so please stop making jokes of people with STDs. you really are no better than them or more valuable as a person than them simply because you are living without a sexually transmitted disease

I don't speak Spanish either.

So, this happened several years ago. My boyfriend and I had been in a long-distance relationship for a long time, and we would see each other maybe twice a year. This was during one of my month-long visits to him over the summer.

We’d decided we wanted to go to one of the nearby malls, and had to take two separate buses to get there. Him living in SoCal, it was fucking scorching; it was probably around 100F. For a “delicate” NorCal girl like me, that feels like death.

We’d gotten off the first bus and were walking to another stop a couple of blocks down to catch the next one. We’re stopped at a corner of a particularly long street, waiting for the light to change so we can cross, and there’s group of three girls behind us. We’re not paying them much mind at first, until I hear one of them go “No, I don’t want to ask them! I don’t even speak Spanish! How am I supposed to talk to them?”

This is where it’s important to note that my boyfriend and I are both of Salvadorian descent, and therefore pretty obviously brown. However, my Spanish is incredibly poor [that’s a whole different story], and I really hate it when people assume that I don’t speak English. It’s rude. But whatever. I guess it happens. It’s what happens next that ticks me off. An attempted whisper: “Look, just ask the girl. Fat girls are always nice.”

Okay. Fine. Not worth my fucking time. I’m not even gonna say anything because it’s hot and who wants to deal with this shit. But then from behind me I hear, awkwardly, “Perdón?” I turn, and it’s one of the girls–surprisingly, one that also looks latina. She sounded like the one who’d claimed not to speak Spanish.

“Yeah?”

She looked a bit surprised, and relieved that I spoke unaccented English. “We were wondering if you could tell us how to get to _____?” Some location. I was the wrong person to ask.

“Sorry, I’m not from around here. You’ll have to ask him.” I gestured to my boyfriend. Again, I’m from NorCal, so I had no idea where anything was down there.

The girl turned to him hesitantly, asked him, and my boyfriend, being friendly, gave them directions. Turns out it was straight down the long street we were on. The girls took off without even thanking us, and the light changed so we finally crossed the street and waited for us bus.

The bus shows up maybe ten or so minutes later, and we’re relieved to be out of that god-awful San Fernando Valley heat. The bus takes us down the long stretch of road, and I see the girls from before trudging down the sidewalk under the merciless SoCal sun.

“I told them that it was right down the street,” my boyfriend says. “I never told them the bus goes there.”

Low Spoon Spirit Work/Companion Tips

12 Spirit Work Tips for people with low spoons, or just anyone who doesn’t have as much energy at the moment.

Tip #1 -Look at the stars with them

I really love to look at the stars with my companions. It is amazing after a hectic or stressful day to just sit outside and think about nothing with my spirit family.

Tip #2 -Watch Tv

Seriously just sit down, and decide on a show together. Ro is a huge fan of Peaky Blinders on Netflix, so I always try to watch at least an episode of it when I can with him.

Tip #3 -Find a YouTuber they enjoy

Ro is a big fan of beauty gurus and Archie likes to watch horse videos with me. Hyl seems to like when I binge watch music videos. There is something for every companion on youtube.

Tip #4 -Hum to music together

I love to sing but sometimes I don’t have enough energy to. I usually just hum while laying down if I can’t sing right then.

Tip #5 -Write a story with your spirit companion as a character.

I’m currently working on a story with both Archie and Ro in it and Hyl is gonna make an appearance in one of my other story’s. For me writing is super relaxing and low energy.

Tip #6 - Draw a Doodle of them

I doodle anyways so just channeling a little energy into what my companions might look as a doodle isn’t a huge thing. (This is a bit more high energy and is only for when I feel a little better than normal.)

Tip #7 -Cuddle them

My all time freaking favorite. This is the lowest of all the energy things. Its also pretty self explanatory.

Tip #8 - READ BOOKS!!!

Can you tell I like reading with my companions? Hyl and I bond over reading literally every day.  

Tip #9 -Write a letter

Pour out your feelings, hopes and dreams in this letter and then show it to them. Also one can try channeling with their companion to receive a letter from the companion.

Tip #10 -Write a poem

If you are an artistic person or like writing poems this one is for you people that are blessed with an awesome vocabulary. Also you could write one line of the poem and they can write the next line.

Tip #11 -Play Hot&Cold

Try to feel their energy and use how your body responds as a way to detect them when they are nearby. It is super easy to turn this into a fun and entertaining game.

Tip #12 -Twenty Questions

Use a twenty questions app to learn things about them that you might not ask them yourself.

Sorry if this post seemed a little lackluster. I really had to push myself to finish it… Low spoon problems. Anyways I hope someone finds this helpful. Thanks for reading.

some more thoughts on the sensates, season 2:

  • will: this boy has TOO MUCH heart he cares about everyone so much i cannot believe a str8 white male character can give me so little grief everyone take notes. cheekbone game is also still strong, but with too much time covered in stubble imo
  • sun: SUN FUCKIN BAK i cannot believe how far my soft baby bird kickass diamond of a character has come she’s so GOOD, but she can also break your neck i love her so much. in more important news however she got reunited with her dog. heckin yes 11/10.
  • lito: continues being the absolute Most™ and we all love him for it. ”i’m practicing””for what?””for my future as a homeless, unemployable failure”. i mean what a fuckin Leo- also relatable as all hell. my beautiful proud gay son. what a gem.
  • riley: sweetest bean in the entire universe, most unrealistic part of s2 is that no one would trust her. she loves a dopey police officer from chicago so much and most importantly she really likes boning him. also shout out for her immense knowledge of graffitied hovels, v impressive.
  • capheus: my newest kid hit it out of the park. he doesn’t have a clue how he got here but he’s still the best person i know and if he doesn’t end up as the president of the world by the end of the series then what are we even doing here?????? also hell yeah my boy got some proud of u bud.
  • nomi: what the hell is this radiant angel and how is she making money. i can’t believe she’s responsible for all of the sensates not being in prison, mvp of the whole fucking show. she’s basically r2d2 if it was a hot, genius woman who fuckin OWNS it. 10/10 five stars would watch again.
  • wolfgang: “he doesn’t really talk” except when he does he BREAKS MY HEART. still the most problematic of all my children but i don’t care i just want him and kala to be happy god fuckin damnit. also i can appreciate the commitment to both his Look and his woman. good one dude.
  • kala: the rambliest and also the smartest, god bless her. honey thinks too much about good and bad when it’s so obvious that she’s a Hoe for the bad boys- specifically German bad boys with unresolved anger issues. also shot a gun and it was pretty fuckin hot tbh.

other thoughts on other characters:

  • whispers: hey man FUCK YOU and also FUCK OFF
  • jonas: what is the point of u doesn’t naveen andrews have better things to do honestly.
  • daniela & hernando: sometimes a family is two gay dudes and their drama queen best friend and that is beautiful..
  • amanita: QUEEN of supportive spouses also she loves nomi so much, can relate.
  • diego: i found myself whispering “no diego no” to myself and it made me laugh so there u go.
Mischief and Babygirl // A Stiles Stilinski Roommate AU Smut

Prompt: Imagine two people being in a situation where they can’t stand each other and are forced to live together. They hate each other with every fiber in their body and are always mad about the smallest things. But, what they didn’t know was that they had made an online friend and had grown very fond of each other and started dating online with each other. When they decided to meet up and see one another for the first time, they find themselves in a very shocking and unexpected situation.

Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Mutual Masterbation, Dirty Talk, Sexting, Nudes, Oral (male on female), Fingering, and Swearing.

Word Count: 6,829

A/N: This is definitely one of my favorite one-shots I have written. I really hope y’all like it, too. It’s another round of me and @celestial-writing just putting ideas together (love you)! Also, how fucking hot is angry Stiles tho???

And guys, I put this thing so you can now read your own name instead of (Y/N)!! If you’re not on my blog, you just have to click the little box which will take you there and BOOM, now my fics have become 100% personal for you! (Unfortunetly, doesn’t work on mobile)

Your name: submit What is this?


Immediately letting out a shout as anger boiled up inside of her for the millionth time today because of the same freckled boy, (Y/N) grabbed the empty jug of milk out the refrigerator and trudged towards the dining room table. There sat her four roommates and greatest friends in the world, well everyone except Stiles Stilinski that is.

“Stiles!” She yelled, throwing the empty bottle in his lap and startling him. “I swear to God, if you ever leave anything empty in the fridge again, I will kick your sorry ass!”

“Sweetheart, you couldn’t kick this ass no matter how hard you tried.” Stiles scoffed and took the bottle off of his body to place it on the table.

“You wanna bet?” (Y/N) threatened.

“Funny.” He laughed which only made the young woman even more furious than she already was.

Stiles immediately jumped when she harshly slammed her hand down on the surface in front of him, leaning her face so close to his that they were only inches apart.

“Never doubt a woman’s capacity to destroy someone.” (Y/N) stated, her voice harsh enough to make him gulp. “We do know how to perfectly get rid of blood stains after all.”

“Damn, Stiles.” Scott chuckled from his seat on the table. “If I were you, I’d go buy a lifetime supply of milk right now just to protect myself.”

“Nah,” Camile disagreed and everyone could hear the smile in her voice. “What they need to do is sleep with each other already. The sexual tension between you two is really tiring.”

“I’ll say.” Madi groaned. “I’m the one who’s room is right next to theirs and, God, the fighting is non-stop. Just have sex already, please? Not for the love of God, but for my sanity!”

“(Y/N) wishes she could get into my pants.” Stiles smirked, a grin playing on his lips as their eyes locked.

“Oh please, Stiles.” She scoffed, standing up straight again. “As if you actually had something in your pants that interested me.”

“Ouch.” Scott cringed and a devious smirk made its way onto (Y/N)’s lips when she noticed Stiles get offended by her comment. “I’d leave her alone after that one.”

Stiles angrily skid his chair back, its legs screeching against the tiles, and stood up. As intimidating as it was to have him look down into her eyes due to how much taller he was, (Y/N) stood her ground and didn’t dare shy away.

Out of nowhere, Scott picked up the butter knife he was using for his bagel and unexpectedly begin to swat the air in between the two young adults.

“What'cha doing there, Scott?” Stiles asked, their eyes now staring at their fellow roommate.

“Trying to cut the sexual tension between you two, but damn it’s too strong.” He laughed, the two other girls in the room laughing loudly along with him.

“Screw all of you.” (Y/N) huffed, walking away from every single one of them and going up the stairs to her room in anger.

As much as she hated to admit it, Scott was unfortunately right. There’s no doubt about the sexual tension within (Y/N) and Stiles and, yes, both of them have yet to confess that they’ve thought about being with each other on more than one occasion. But, even though she does have a secret crush on him and would love it if Stiles got under her bedsheets, the way he gets under her skin frustrates (Y/N) more.

Reaching the first floor of the house the five of them rent so they don’t have to live in crappy dorm rooms, the furious girl walked inside of her bedroom and shut the door behind her. The sound echoed through the halls and the four left downstairs all jumped at the sudden sound. Scott, Camile and Madi instantly glaring at Stiles.

(Y/N) immediately laid down on her messy bed and grabbed her phone from her nightstand. Tapping on the instant message app, she began texting her online friend. I wouldn’t exactly say that they were just online friends because it’s so much more than that. They’ve been texting each other anonymously for about a year now and couldn’t get enough. Neither one of them have ever shared a picture of their faces because they want to focus on personality and not appearance. All the time that they’ve spent texting, both knew for a fact that they really liked one another. Which is why the two are beyond nervous for their first blind date tonight.


Babygirl 💋 [12:45 pm]: Today is the day I commit my first murder, Mieczyslaw

Mischief 💚 [12:45 pm]: Roommate again? 😂

Mischief 💚 [12:46 pm]: Well, where do you want us to hide the body?

Babygirl 💋 [12:46 pm]: Should we just bury him out in the woods?

Mischief 💚 [12:46 pm]: Nah, that’s a dead end. The cops would find it too easily

Mischief 💚 [12:46 pm]: What we need to do is go to the zoo and when no one’s looking

Mischief 💚 [12:47 pm]: We throw his body in the lion’s den

Mischief 💚 [12:47 pm]: There’s no crime if there’s no evidence

Babygirl 💋 [12:47 pm]: You know, sometimes your intelligence really scares me

Babygirl 💋 [12:47 pm]: You’re too much of a fucking genius!

Mischief 💚 [12:48 pm]: Just a genius?

Mischief 💚 [12:48 pm]: Nothing else? 😉😏

Babygirl 💋 [12:48 pm]: And really fucking sexy

Babygirl 💋 [12:48 pm]: Especially when you talk cop to me

Mischief 💚 [12:49 pm]: Well, in that case…

Mischief 💚 [12:49 pm]: All units proceed with caution

Mischief 💚 [12:49 pm]: We have a 180 on our hands here

Babygirl 💋 [12:50 pm]: Fuck

Babygirl 💋 [12:50 pm]: The things you do to me…

Mischief 💚 [12:50 pm]: What kind of things, baby?

Mischief 💚 [12:50 pm]: Tell me everything you’re thinking 😉


(Y/N)’s entire body sparked with immediate desire the second she finished reading his message and she could already tell her panties were slowly getting wetter by the second.


Babygirl 💋 [12:51 pm]: Well, for starters

Babygirl 💋 [12:51 pm]: I can’t wait till our date tonight because I’ll finally be able to feel your lips on my own

Babygirl 💋 [12:51 pm]: I’ll get to feel your hands all over my body

Babygirl 💋 [12:52 pm]: The friction of our skin sliding against each other taking over all of my thoughts


Stiles Stilinski shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he continued to read the dirty texts his online friend was sending him. The excitement for their blind date tonight getting stronger than ever and Stiles honestly couldn’t wait until he finally came face-to-face with the girl that completely takes over his thoughts. Well, second girl that is. The first being his favorite roommate (Y/N) (Y/L/N). He knew that he irritated her beyond belief, but he couldn’t help but think how beautiful she looked everytime her eyes glared at him with such fury that it instantly became sexy or how her lip would snarl in anger and how much he desperately wanted to bite down on it.

Their relationship was an addictive game of Cat and Mouse and both parties enjoyed every second.


Mischief 💚 [12:53 pm]: Fuck, baby

Mischief 💚 [12:53 pm]: What else?


“Do you have ants in your pants or something?” Camile questioned the smirking young man and Stiles’ head immediately snapped up at the blonde. “Stop moving so much in your seat, dude.”

“U-Uh…” Stiles stuttered, feeling like he just got caught doing something very naughty. Which wasn’t exactly far from what was going on on his phone. “S-Sorry.”


Babygirl 💋 [12:54 pm]: I can’t wait till your mouth attaches to my neck

Babygirl 💋 [12:54 pm]: Then slowly keeps going down and down…


“Why do you keep grinning at your phone like that?” Madi asked, tearing Stiles away from the intoxicating text.

“He’s talking to his internet girlfriend.” Scott smirked. “They pretty much sext daily.”

“We do not sext daily!” Stiles complained at the same time that (Y/N) sent him a picture of her body in just her underwear, showing him exactly what he would be touching tonight. “Fuck.”

“What’d she send this time?” Scott laughed, the three curious twenty year olds trying to peak over Stiles’ phone to see.

“None of your business, Scott.” Stiles scolded, getting up from his chair and trudging away towards the staircase. “Or anyone else’s for that matter!”

“Make sure to clean yourself up afterwards!” Camile yelled.

“You’re disgusting!” Stiles shouted back, a holler of laughter taking over the dining room. “Go to hell!”

“Only if you’re there, too!”

Once Stiles reached his bedroom, he entered his safe space and shut the door behind him. By the way their texts were leading up to something more, he knew for a fact things were about to get hot and heavy and he didn’t need anyone passing by his room to see him in a very vulnerable state.


Mischief 💚 [1:02 pm]: I can’t wait to touch you, baby

Mischief 💚 [1:02 pm]: I’m literally counting the seconds until I finally get to lick your stomach

Babygirl 💋 [1:03 pm]: Fuck, Mieczyslaw

Babygirl 💋 [1:03 pm]: What else are you gonna do to me?

Mischief 💚 [1:03 pm]: My tongue is gonna keep going lower until it reaches the place you want me the most

Mischief 💚 [1:04 pm]: Then, I’m going to slowly circle it around your swollen nub

Mischief 💚 [1:04 pm]: I’m gonna wrap my lips around you and suck so hard you’ll be cumming in a matter of seconds

Babygirl 💋 [1:04 pm]: Oh God, Mieczyslaw

Babygirl 💋 [1:04 pm]: Keep going

Babygirl 💋 [1:05 pm]: I’m almost there


In the short time that Stiles spent arguing with his friends downstairs and texting her the dirty things she so desperately wanted to read, (Y/N) had removed her clothes, taken a picture of herself for him and began working on her own body thanks to how hot he’d made her. She started out by moving her hand slowly around her clitoris before using her other hand to pump two fingers inside of her soaking wet core. Even though she really liked Mieczyslaw, she didn’t exactly know what he looked like so, as shameless and dirty as it was, (Y/N) thought about the first sexy guy she could think of. That handsome man being, none other than, the exact same person that was currently thinking about her as he quickly unzipped his jeans and pushed his hand inside of his boxers to get a hold of himself.


Mischief 💚 [1:06 pm]: Fuck, that’s so hot

Mischief 💚 [1:06 pm]: Send me a picture

Babygirl 💋 [1:07 pm]: Attachment


Stiles cock twitched when he noticed that she hadn’t sent him a picture, but an actual video instead. Rubbing himself with one hand, Stiles used the other to press play on the video with eagerness laced in his blood. The footage began to roll and the boy licked his lips in anticipation. Stiles groaned and increased his pace on himself when he realized it was a video of the girl fingering herself for him, her sexy moans almost pornographic. It consisted of a full view of her body, her breasts perky for him as her finger moved fastly inside of herself. In a matter of seconds, (Y/N)’s legs began shaking to indicate she would be soon falling over the edge and that’s exactly what happened. Hearing the girl moan shamelessly and watching her entire body shudder as an overwhelming orgasm​ hit her, it didn’t take much for Stiles to also reach his.

His legs shook and his eyes shut, Stiles’ head falling back on his pillow, at the same time that hot cum shot out of his tip and immediately landed on his stomach. He imagined it was (Y/N) that had jerked him off and it was enough to make his high last longer. Stiles didn’t even mind the sticky release on his skin, all he could think about was how much pleasure he was currently in.

As soon as (Y/N) finished cumming and sent Mieczyslaw the footage, the girl had got up from her bed with satisfaction in her veins. She walked over to her closet and put on a robe before walking out of her bedroom to go to the bathroom and take a much needed shower. The second she passed by Stiles’ bedroom, however, desire and lust flooded her entire body when she suddenly heard him moaning uncontrollably.

“Hey, Stiles!” She shouted, knocking on the door and startling Stiles in the process. “Stop watching porn and go read a book!”


~


“(Y/N)!” Stiles yelled angrily, his fist pounding against the bathroom door. “Get out already! I have to leave soon!”

“So do I!” She shouted back, not caring about wherever it was Stiles needed to go to. “And I have actual hair to wash here!”

“Just don’t wash it!”

“I’m going on a date, idiot! I have to be completely clean!”

“For what?” Stiles questioned, sarcasm laced in his voice. “It’s not like he’s gonna go out of his way to sniff your hair!”

“No, but he’s definitely gonna be able to smell it when his head is snuck in my neck as he pounds me into oblivion!”

It was a simple comeback, but it did manage to sting Stiles’ heart in jealousy. Slamming his fist against the door one last time, the young man let out a frustrated grunt before walking away to his room.

(Y/N) gladly took her time to finish prepping herself in the shower until she finally decided to step out of the bathroom. Needless to say, Stiles was furious at the young woman but she couldn’t find a single bone in her body that actually cared. She wanted to look, smell and even taste her best for her date tonight and no man was going to stop her. (Y/N)’s been waiting for this special night for too long to worry about what other people had to say.

Which is why the young woman just walked right by Stiles without even giving him the chance to scold her. He stared in awe as she entered her bedroom, noticing how good she looked with her face flushed from the hot shower and the droplets of water running down her skin. Stiles’ mind immediately picturing himself licking the water off of her naked body and he felt slightly guilty.

The both of them got ready at the same time and the rest of the house watched in amusement as they simultaneously shared the bathroom, arguing the entire time. (Y/N) would try to look at herself in the mirror to put on mascara and he would get in her way to fix his quiff or just as Stiles would wet his toothbrush with the running water because (Y/N) was finishing up brushing her own teeth, she turned off the tap.

“You’re unbelievable.” Stiles groaned, shaking his head and opening the tap again.

(Y/N) didn’t say anything, she just blew him a kiss that was nothing shy of sass as she left the bathroom to finish her look in her bedroom. She had already fixed her hair and put on all of her makeup, so all she had to do next was take off her robe and wear the gorgeous black dress she specifically bought for tonight. Once she sprayed herself with her favorite perfume and was ready, (Y/N) walked down the staircase and approached her other three roommates in the living room.

“Well, how do I look?” She asked and they turned their heads to take in her outfit.

(Y/N) was absolutely gorgeous and it was no surprise everyone’s jaws were dropping at her breath-taking beauty.

“Like a queen.” Scott gawked, a genuine smile lighting up on (Y/N)’s lips.

“It’s not too much?” She questioned, spinning around for them.

“Hell no.” Madi smirked. “Whomever you’re seeing tonight is one lucky guy, my friend.”

“Good.” (Y/N) answered.

Just as she was grabbing her favorite coat from the rack, Stiles had reached the last step of the staircase and laid his eyes on the incredibly stunning woman before him. He immediately stopped in his tracks as his eyes grew wide at the sight. Her hair was perfectly done and a part of him wanted to run his fingers through it but the other part of him knew that if he did it would ruin the style and that would be a crime. Her makeup was simple, however the bold red lip definitely grabbed his attention and he wanted to smudge it with his own. (Y/N)’s long legs went on for days, Stiles already picturing them wrapped around his waist. However, what caught Stiles’ eyes the most was the alluring dress tightly hung against her beautiful curves. It made his brain spin in his head and jealousy crashed all over him at the thought of her being dressed like this for someone else.

“Do you really think you should be wearing a dress like that?” Stiles asked, clearing his throat and (Y/N) spun around to gaze at the source of the sudden voice.

“What is that supposed to mean, Stilinski?” She retorted, her manicured hand settling on her hip.

“That dress is too revealing.” He scolded. “It’s definitely not first date material.”

You’re not first date material.” (Y/N) scoffed, slipping her coat on.

She didn’t want it to be true, but the young woman could’ve sworn she saw a small glimpse of hurt in his eyes. But, it was soon gone before she could really check.

“Have fun on your date.” Stiles stated harshly as he walked past her and opened the door. “I hope he’s an ass.”

Before (Y/N) could even respond, Stiles was out the door and slammed it. The rough action surprising her and making her feel not only guilty but heartbroken that she caused that. (Y/N) loved the hate relationship she had with Stiles, but she also knew she wanted more. The two constantly fought because they were so alike. Stiles loathed how quick and sarcastic she was, but at the same time loved that only she could handle bickering​ with him. (Y/N) despised that he always managed to point out the things about her no one ever noticed, but loved that Stiles actually paid enough attention to see them. It was a complicated game they played, but the two were masters at it.

“Do you ever get tired of the way you treat each other?” Scott spoke up from the couch and (Y/N) turned around to look at him, the hurt still evident on her face.

“Sometimes.” She answered softly.

“Shouldn’t you two just stop?” Scott asked. “It’s obvious that you do all of this because you’re into each other.”

“Shouldn’t you three stop butting into our love lives?” (Y/N) retorted, no longer sad but now angry at the entire situation. “It’s Friday night and you’re sitting on the couch. Go out and have fun!”

“For your information, we are going out.” Scott scoffed and the two other girls nodded.

“Good.” (Y/N) stated as she opened the door and walked out. “Get to it!”

Even though he wasn’t in the best mood, Stiles pushed down all of his feelings for the girl he lived with to focus on the girl he was about to meet. She has helped him get her mind off of (Y/N) on more than one occasion, even though they did have the same name, and he was ready for her to do that again tonight. He thought about all of the incredible times they’ve spent chatting before pulling into the restaurant they picked and parking in the first space he could find. Once he locked the jeep behind him, Stiles headed towards the main entrance and nervously waited for the girl he talks to more than his own family.

With the anger still flooding inside of her, (Y/N) left her car and arrived at the restaurant. She no longer wanted to go on this date because she knew that all she will be able to think about is the spastic boy she lives with and never leaves her brain. It doesn’t matter how distracted she gets, Stiles is always there in the back of her mind.

The second (Y/N) looked up from her heels clicking against the pavement, her heart stopped inside of her chest. With every step she took towards the main entrance, her heartbeat would increase more and more. There, in front of her, was Stiles Stilinski. The exact person she was trying to get away from.

He was so focused on what was going on inside of his mind that Stiles hadn’t noticed her until she was literally right beside him and (Y/N)’s perfume made its way into his nose. Stiles’ head snapped towards the source, his eyes growing wide when he noticed it was (Y/N) herself next to him.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles asked, entirely confused. “Did you follow me?”

“I have better things to do than follow you, Stiles.” (Y/N) scoffed. “I’m meeting my date here. What the hell are you doing here?”

“I also have a date.” Stiles smiled smugly and certainly didn’t fail to notice how it effected her.

“So, we’re both having dates at the same place?” (Y/N) stated, in awe of this awkward situation. “Wonderful.”

“Where’s your date anyway?” Stiles questioned. “Shouldn’t he have picked you up?”

“It’s a blind date.” She explained, folding her arms against her chest which made her cleavage pop out even more and Stiles awkwardly tried to gaze elsewhere. “What about your date? Weren’t you supposed to pick her up.”

“I’m also having a blind date.” Stiles retorted.

Neither one of them put together exactly what was going on between them. Both standing in the tension heavy entrance, desperately looking at whatever person that would arrive and hoping it’d be their online friend. Little did they know, their dates were standing right next to each other this entire time.

They waited for a good thirty minutes before (Y/N)’s feet started to hurt from standing so long in thin heels and she sighed.

“I think we both got stood up.” (Y/N) stated in a hurt voice.

“No, my date wouldn’t do that.” He shook his head, pulling his phone out of his pants. “I’m texting her.”

“Yeah, me too.” (Y/N) agreed, zipping open her clutch to grab her phone.

She couldn’t help but look over to his text from the corner of her eye. He was messaging someone nicknamed “Babygirl” and (Y/N) felt insanely jealous when he watched him type in “Hey, baby. Are you still coming?” She didn’t even know who this babygirl of his was, but she knew she already hated her with everything (Y/N) had inside of her. Of course she was into Mieczyslaw, but she secretly wanted to be on a date with Stiles instead. She just wanted to have one encounter with him that didn’t consist of fighting.

(Y/N)’s thoughts were, suddenly, interrupted when her phone vibrated in her hand. The girl realized she had received a message from her blind date and already scoffed thinking about whatever poor excuse she was going to read explaining why he wasn’t here.


Mischief 💚 [8:32 pm]: Hey, baby. Are you still coming?


(Y/N) didn’t even think before immediately dropping her phone on the floor in complete shock, her heart going down with it. It fell in her stomach in surprise as she finally put all of the scattered pieces together. She quickly turned around to Stiles, who was already looking at her in astonishment from how she just randomly dropped her cellphone with the screen now entirely shattered.

For the longest time she didn’t say a single word, all (Y/N) did was stare at the beautiful boy she lived with that also happened to be the person she’s been secretly texting back and forth. Stiles didn’t know what to say or do either, from how odd she was behaving, but he mentally prepared himself to drop everything and drive her to the hospital in case she needed it.

“Y-You’re real name’s Mieczyslaw?!” (Y/N) exclaimed, shouting the first thing that popped in her mind.

“What?” Stiles furrowed his eyebrows, confused now more than ever.

The young man wearing flannel watched as she bent down to grab her phone again and, without giving him the slightest explanation, stuck her phone screen out for him to read what was written on it. It took a little bit for his brain to process everything, but when it finally did he felt as if it had just exploded.

(Y/N) expected Stiles to say something, but was completely surprised when he stuffed his phone in his back pocket and grabbed her face with his hands. Before she could understand what was going on, Stiles crashed his lips against hers with such passion and fervor, (Y/N) almost fell. But it wouldn’t matter if she did our not because Stiles would’ve caught her anyway with how he wrapped his hands around her waist.

All of the anger, frustration and rage they ever felt towards each other was channeled into the kiss and started to slowly slip away as they began to be replaced with desire, need and, dare I say, love. They always felt attached to each other no matter how upset they were until only now realizing that all of it meant love. Stiles and (Y/N) loved each other so deeply and it wasn’t just sexual tension. They truly got to know each other incredibly well over the time they spent talking online, sharing so much information that they felt closer to each other than to anyone else in their lives.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” Stiles confessed, panting as he touched his forehead with hers.

“So have I.” (Y/N) blushed and Stiles leaned in again to place another addictive kiss on her lips.

As they kissed, Stiles slid his tongue across her bottom lip and asked for an entrance to which (Y/N) happily granted. The two didn’t even fight for dominance, they just explored each other’s mouths and enjoyed every discovery. Their tongues would brush together and neither one of them had enough self control to hold back their satisfied moans.

(Y/N) broke the kiss and Stiles’ lips moved to her jaw. He created a trail of wet and hot kisses that drove the girl crazy. It didn’t matter they were in public. (Y/N) could already feel herself getting wetter and wetter by the passing second. It was when Stiles’ mouth attached to her earlobe, his teeth grazing the skin as his tongue caressed it, that she knew she desperately needed more of him.

“Stiles,” She whimpered, his tongue sliding through the shell of her ear. “Do you really want to go on this date or do you just want to get out of here?”

“We can go back to my place?” Stiles smirked.

“I’d love that.” She laughed breathlessly.

“But, I do have to warn you.” He smiled against her heated skin, now sucking a bruise into her neck. “I have the world’s most annoying roommate. She really knows how to get on your nerves.”

“Hmm,” (Y/N) grinned playfully. “Sounds like she really gets to you. Should I be jealous?”

“Absolutely, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, then, damn.” (Y/N) smirked, a light blush painting her cheeks. “I hope she doesn’t mind us crashing her apartment. I tend to be loud.”

“Fuck.” Stiles groaned, pulling his mouth away from the several different bruises he created to stare at her. “I’ll meet you there.”

The next thing she knows, Stiles is placing one last kiss on her lips and eagerly rushing away towards his blue jeep. A smile etched across (Y/N)’s face at how adorable he looked, happily climbing into his car and immediately turning it on.

The ride over to their house was full of adrenaline and excitement. Everytime they would have to stop at a red light, Stiles would look over to (Y/N) in her car and smugly lick his lips. Which would flush her entire body with more lust than it already was sporting, her core aching in need. Once they arrived and were both finally out of their vehicles, Stiles pinned (Y/N) against the front door and reattached his tempting mouth on hers. She gasped at the sudden act, but Stiles just swallowed it into their kiss. Their lips molded together as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling (Y/N) in even closer.

“What was that for?” (Y/N) asked, her lungs fighting for air after breaking the kiss.

“Because I needed to feel your kiss again.” He confessed.

A blush crept up on her cheeks and a grin made its way onto his lips. (Y/N) reached up to reconnect their mouths, tongues finding each other as she tried to zip open her clutch and grab the house keys. Stiles gently bit down on her lip and she fumbled with the zipper, his touch too intoxicating to have her focus on anything else. That’s when Stiles grabbed her hand and settled it on his lower back, a shameless moan falling from (Y/N)’s mouth when he lowered it even more. Both smiled into the kiss the second he guided her hand over his ass and squeezed, (Y/N) giggling when she realized his copy of the house keys were in his pocket this whole time.

Stiles took his hand off of hers and put it back on her waist as she slipped hers into his jeans’ pocket and pulled out the keys. The moment they were in her hand, the freckled boy broke their kiss and swiftly turned her around so she could open the door. Stiles’ mouth and teeth were sucking another hickey on her shoulder blade and (Y/N) felt weak in her knees. She didn’t know how, but she managed to unlock the door and turn the knob.

An animalistic instinct washed over Stiles and he immediately pushed the front door open, rushing the two inside. Before (Y/N) could even say anything, the young man hitched one of her legs around his waist and shoved her against the now closed door once again. She squealed when he did and Stiles chuckled against her lips. Both of their bodies dripping with lust as he rubbed his clothed bulge against the inside of her thigh, (Y/N) moaning in the process. Her hands were now wrapped around his neck, her fingers caressing his heated skin, and Stiles kept one hand on her waist as the other slowly slipped under the skirt of her dress to grab her practically bare ass. (Y/N) was wearing the smallest thong she owned and it definitely made Stiles’ cock twitch in his boxers.

“Shit, I’m seriously considering just fucking you right here.” Stiles moaned, his lips brushing against hers.

“Please do.” (Y/N) whimpered, Stiles feeling her heartbeat against his own chest.

“Please don’t.” A familiar male voice suddenly spoke up and the two lovers immediately snapped their heads towards the source.

Scott, Camile and Madi hadn’t left their​ positions on the couch since the two went out. The scene was absolutely comical from how shocked and frozen the three were. Scott had the tv remote in his hand as it pointed to the screen, his eyes wide. Camile kept a bowl of popcorn on her lap and held a single one up to her mouth, but it paused just outside of it as she stared in shock. Madi, however, wasn’t as astonished as the rest due to the mischievous grin she was wearing.

(Y/N) immediately tried to push Stiles off of her in embarrassment, but he held his ground and stayed right where he was. She couldn’t believe that they hadn’t even noticed they weren’t alone when they arrived.

“I have no problem still fucking you here.” Stiles grinned and, as turned on as she was, (Y/N) covered her face with her hands in humiliation. The girl let out a squeal when Stiles placed his mouth on her collarbone and began assaulting it with his tongue.

“Stiles!” She whined.

Out of pure respect for the girl he was holding and not because he cared that there were other people in the same room, Stiles placed (Y/N)’s leg down on the floor and took a step back from her. His hands were raised in surrender, but his eyes were still gazing at her in a cocky fashion. (Y/N) cleared her throat to rid herself of the embarrassment and slowly walked towards the staircase, Stiles watching her intently.

“Excuse me.” She stated to the three on the couch before looking over at Stiles with the lust still pooling in her pupils.

He certainly picked up what she was putting down as she began walking up the steps, Stiles hot on her trail. (Y/N) yelped in excitement when Stiles unexpectedly smacked her ass with his hand and they rushed even faster towards her bedroom.

“Go get that ass, Stiles!” Madi exclaimed.

“Use a condom!” Camile shouted after her.

Right as Stiles shut the bedroom door behind him, Madi turned around to grin at her two friends on the couch and both of them groaned. Searching in their pockets, Camile and Scott handed their fellow roommate twenty bucks each. Immediately regretting their bet on the two lovers upstairs that just yesterday were fighting. The bet consisted of when they would eventually hook up, Madi declared it would happen this month as Scott and Camile bet at the end of the year. Needless to say, the two lost.

(Y/N), yet again, was pushed up against a door and she quickly figured out that Stiles definitely has a door fetish. Not that she was complaining or found it weird in any way, it was actually one hell of a turn on. Their lips were back in sync together as Stiles reached behind her back and slowly unzipped the gorgeous dress (Y/N) was wearing, her breathing increasing at the contact. Once there was nothing left to unzip, Stiles let go of the zipper and proceeded to take off the straps of her dress. As soon as they were down her arms, he completely let go of the fabric and the dress instantly fell to the floor. Unfortunately breaking their kiss, (Y/N) stepped out of it pooling at her feet and Stiles’ jaw dropped when he took in her body.

The young man was already familiar with how she looked thanks to the countless times​ they’ve shared photos of their bodies through text, but he had never seen her in the flesh before and it was amazing to him. (Y/N) was wearing the most sexy set of matching purple underwear, his favorite color that he once told her. (Y/N) watched with hooded eyes as his own drowned in more lust than his pupils were already swimming in. Stiles licked his lips and the small action sent waves of desire straight to her pooling core.

(Y/N) was the first to break their trance as she brought her hand to the fancy flannel he was wearing for the date and began to unbutton it, she didn’t go as slow as Stiles did because she desperately wanted it off. The next thing she removed were his pants and they were finally in just their underwear together.

Stiles suddenly kneeled in front of her, surprising (Y/N) in the process, and pulled down her panties without saying anything. The second they were gone, the young man lifted one of her legs and hitched it over his shoulder. He looked up at her and placed tempting kisses on her stomach before licking her skin with his warm tongue, just like he’d promised earlier. Her body shuddered and she waited patiently as he trailed his tongue until it reached her core, already swiping up the slick folds. The small action alone made her hips twitch and she couldn’t control her moans when Stiles circled her swollen clit. He kept the motion going as he brought a finger up to tease her entrance. She whimpered of course and, the sound was so beautiful to him, he decided to give in. Stiles pushed two fingers inside of her, groaning at how tight she was, and gently pumped. It started out slow at first, but because of how responsive she was being as she moaned uncontrollably and her hips bucked continuously, Stiles decided to pick up his pace. (Y/N)’s eyes were shut as she concentrated on the pleasure and her core clenched around his fingers the second Stiles’ wrapped his lips around her nub and sucked furiously.

“F-Fuck, Stiles.” She moaned, knowing that her release was near. But, unfortunately for her, so did Stiles and he immediately pulled away.

Smirking up at the shocked glare he was receiving from her, Stiles licked her juices off of his lips and wiped his chin with the back of his hand. Normally, she would’ve been outraged to be denied of her orgasm but the way he looked right now took over her thoughts.

“I only want you cumming around my cock, tonight.” Stiles grinned, standing in front of her again and, before she could come up with a witty response, he yanked off his boxers. She was at a complete loss of words as she gawked at his delicious erection. The pulsing in her core increasing with unbelievable desire.

Stiles hitched her leg around his waist and positioned himself in front of her entrance, gazing into her eyes. Without breaking the contact, Stiles gently pushed his dick​ inside of her core and they both moaned at the new feeling. He desperately wanted to close his eyes, but wasn’t willing to take them off of hers as he thrusted. (Y/N)’s hands were settled on his back, the heel of her hitched leg digging into his ass to keep herself in place as one of his palms were flat out on the door and the other held her waist. The pleasure inside of her that was still around because Stiles was just eating her out tingled in (Y/N)’s body and, by the way she buzzed, she knew she’d be cumming soon.

Stiles increased his pace and the spring in her stomach coiled, indicating she was near. Her nails were digging into the skin of his back and Stiles would’ve winced if he wasn’t so turned on by how sexy she looked. Her eyes shut were and her head rested on the door as her unsteady breath let loud moans slip through. Stiles spread her legs more and began hitting her in a deeper and new angle, (Y/N)’s spring breaking as a result. Stiles immediately bit down on her shoulder, the feeling of her core clenching around him and her juices squirting on his cock too overwhelming.

But, he held onto his orgasm even though it was already knocking on the door. Stiles wanted this to last as long as possible and he actually managed to hold it. At this point, he was now pounding into her and (Y/N) whimpered at the extreme contact. Her body was still sensitive from releasing, but even though it was too much, she loved it.

Unclasping her bra, Stiles took it off and latched his lips onto her breast. His tongue flicking her nipple and caressing it. The second Stiles bit down on her perky bud and pulled, (Y/N) came for a second time tonight. And this time, Stiles allowed himself to as well. Her warmth clenched around him once again before his hips stuttered and he released hot cum inside of her, both moaning crazily. Their highs lasted longer than they’ve ever had and when the two were finally back in reality, Stiles stopped thrusting and placed a kiss on her lips.

“The way you annoy me every day drives me so fucking crazy, but you know what effects me more?” Stiles suddenly spoke up. “The way I smile at how you always put your milk in the bowl before your cereal or the way my heart beats faster whenever you laugh at something on your phone and time stops. But, most importantly, the way I feel like I’m flying everytime I’m around you.”

The words coming out of his mouth were making (Y/N)’s heart flutter so hard, she was sure it would eventually break her ribcage.

“Even though we bicker, I adore it because it reminds me of old married couples. And that’s exactly what I want us to be, a couple.” Stiles continued. “Because no matter how mad I get, I know that I’m deeply and irretrievably in love with you.”

“Stiles,” She smiled, looking at him with heart-eyes. “I love you, too.”

Stiles and (Y/N) have had countless fights in the time they’ve known each other. The two have shared millions of glares, angry shouts, eye-rolls, and fits of rage. But the thing was, they both loved each other in each and every one.

autistic in a heatwave tips!

we’re having a heatwave !! which is lovely because i love hot weather, but im bad at temperature adjustment and regulation which can be bad. i also know that lots of other autistics find hot weather sensory hell, so here r a few things that i find help:

- you dont Have to be in the sun all day. lots of people will say stuff tht makes u feel guilty about “wasting the good weather”, but they dont know how it affects u personally, so do whats best for u. if u wanna stay inside all day or never leave the shade, do it!! its better to b comfortable than anything else
- this goes doubly if u live in a place where u actually get aircon in non commercial buildings
- wear as few clothes as possible. sounds obvious, but youd be surprised at how much difference not having even one layer makes. if youre self conscious abt ur body, invest in some mesh or sheer clothing - its stylish, v thin and light, and will obscure ur form - if u r wearing clothes, wet them !! this helps So Much its my fav tip. wetting a hat or pouring water down ur shirt cools u down a load, and can help u stay cool until it all evaporates. last year i managed to be the only one to mostly avoid heatstroke when hiking by doing this. having wet trousers/shorts is sensory hell for me, so i stick to just my shirt. if u cant cope w that, keep a damp cloth on u and put it on ur skin whenever u can
- drink A Lot. if ur thirsty, ur probably already dehydrated. dehydration can lead to feeling sick, headachy, and exasperates sensory issues (i usually burn out twice as often if im dehydrated). to avoid this, drink lots of water. do u hate drinking water? yeah, me too. keeping a bottle full on u is good because its just There so u end up drinking it because its smth to do.
alternately, drink lots of juice/iced tea/soda (fizzy drinks dehydrate u a bit, but theyre better than nothing!)
if u wanna rehydrate quickly, sports drinks r the way to go bc they replace electrolytes (cheap alternative: dissolve salt n sugar into water)
- crunch on ice !! it cools u down, it hydrates u, and u can Lov The Cronch
- dont get burnt: it leads to sunburn which is Sensory Hell, can give u heat stroke, and long term skin damage. do u hate sun cream? Me Too, but its better than sunburn. instead of the gross lotiony suncreams, u can get oil based ones (p20 is the brand here, idk if its international) which tend to b more expensive, but last a full 24hrs, feel non gloopy, and dont smell as strong
- sleep w just a bed sheet as covers bc its much cooler, but u still have the feeling of smth covering u
- ur feet r the most important for temp regulation , so keep them cool most importantly
- cold showers r great but also painful so a softer alternative is room temp showers bc theyll still cool u down without freezing ur various body parts off
- mope on the floor like 24/7 it doesnt exactly cool u down but it doesnt use much energy n its perfect for that summery sluggishness. fav activity 10/10 would recommend

anyone else pls add on suggestions!!

Humans Are Weird

CONCEPT:
Aliens have a sense of humor, but they don’t understand why humans use humor and/or sarcasm for EVERYTHING.
Signs of friendship, signs of hatred, sadness, happiness, stress, etc.- all humans seem to have a kneejerk reaction to say something terribly inappropriate.
And just imagine aliens getting so offended. Like, when humans gather and talk about past atrocities, chances are at least ONE person will crack a joke. (”Bush did 9/11!”; “The Salem Witch Trials were *hot*.”; etc.) and the aliens just being like ???? how DARE you disrespect those sentient beings’ hardships?????
And the humans going lol chill it was terrible but ultimately stupid.
And the aliens just growing more confused and somewhat offended as they continue to talk to humans.
(ALSO, trying to talk to humans about things that are wrong with them is near impossible- they will crack jokes about their depression, anxiety, PTSD, abusive home life, etc. and you won’t even know it’s an actual problem unless they flat out tell you.)
In addition, an alien race that keeps their sexual lives entirely private/sacred/just don’t talk about sex being BAFFLED by all the sex jokes we tell. And just basically having a conniption as we make innocent things seem so dirty (Alien 1: Wow, that’s big, Person 1: Not as big as this! *thrust* BOOYA! *People going “OHHHH” in the background. Someone screams “Kobe!” and successfully makes a was of paper in the trashbin. The disgusted aliens are, once again, reluctantly impressed*)

Feel free to write a short story-thing to this (please do). I might write something, but sci-fi is NOT my area, and I’m just very overwhelmed. But yeah, humans and aliens and robots, my dude. (ALSO, people with blue eyes are technically mutants. Double also? Humans have a mutant gene where we’re bone with five fingers instead of the six we apparently should have; although the six is almost always not very useful/difficult to maneuver.) 

MR. REYES DOESN'T GET ENOUGH ATTENTION

oKAY BUT GUYS MR. REYES GOT SQUIPPED TOO SO WHY DOES NO ONE MENTION THAT:

-he probably becomes the Squip Squad’s favorite teacher

-he’s that kooky drama teacher that you can’t help but love anyways

-he becomes really close with them and gives them really important life advice for whenever they’re feeling anxious about the future 

-Mr. Reyes writes Christine a recommendation letter to the highest acting colleges bc he’s so proud of how far she’s come as an actress

-he signs all of their yearbooks with personal messages and gets emotional when he sees them graduate bc shit these students are like his kids to him
-he becomes a father figure to not just Rich but also to Michael after he joins drama tech

-will spend hours at night doing research on where the kids would like to go to college because he cares that much for them and wants to make sure they feel ready and prepared to leave high school

-they bring him hot pockets every morning 

-he even comes up with a secret handshake with Jake after Rich bets that Mr. Reyes wouldn’t do it but he does it so he can see Rich lose a bet

-the kids secretly host a car wash to raise money and surprise Mr. Reyes with a trip to Broadway (at the car wash, Jeremy bakes, Christine sings while Michael is working her music, Jenna promotes the car wash by getting her thousands of Twitter followers to stop by, Jake and Rich are the sign spinners and get super competitive on who can bring in more customers)

-he’s tHAT ONE TEACHER WHO YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON AND LIKE THEY’RE PROUD OF YOU REGARDLESS OF YOUR FAILURES HE’S THE ONE TO PICK YOU BACK UP EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CANT GO ANYWHERE IN LIFE 

LIKE YEAH MR. REYES IS WEIRD BUT IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT HE’D FEEL CONNECTED TO THESE STUDENTS LIKE “WOW I REALLY WANT THEM ALL TO SUCCEED AND I’M SO PROUD OF THEM” I’M SORRY I HAVE SO MANY EM O TI ONS

The definitely not definitive sports anime guide

So I did a thing a while back (a year ago, in fact) where I tried to make a primer for sports animes. I have since watched Many, Many More so let’s do this again (still no Daiya no Ace tho).
Based purely on my own meandering experience, here’s a hopefully comprehensive guide on picking your next set of adoptive sons.

Note: There’s ten shows so this is going to be long, you guys. Just… so long. And there will be many exclamation points.

Keep reading

okay but Ninoir where Adrien is absolutely CONVINCED that he CANNOT come out as Adrien Agreste and terrified of what his dad would think, but where it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks if Chat NOIR flirts with anything that moves, right? Ladybug doesn’t take him seriously anyway, and it’d be nice to … well. He’s fifteen, okay, he’d like to maybe get to kiss somebody eventually. And, like … STUFF. 

So Very Bisexual Chat Noir flirts with literally everyone he finds even REMOTELY attractive: Ladybug, Marinette, Alya, various akuma–hell, he could even flirt with NINO if he wanted, he realizes when the opportunity presents itself; what’s stopping him? Father will never know. He doesn’t even have to tell his friends. It’s safe. And it’s just a little harmless flirting, it’s not like it’s even that big a deal. 

(it is a very big deal. it is the HUGEST deal. ADRIEN IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE LEVEL OF DEAL IT IS ABOUT TO BE.)

So Chat Noir lays a line on Nino Lahiffe. 

And Nino Lahiffe, unlike all previous contenders, is sincerely and genuinely INTO IT. He gets this crooked grin on his face and leans into Chat’s space and is like “oh yeah? tell me more, tiger”. 

And Chat FUCKING PANICS and stammers all over himself and Nino kind of laughs a little and then it’s like “omg I’ve been CHALLENGED” and Chat just goes Full Fucking Tomcat and anyway basically the next two hours is a very long game of Gay Chicken but the people playing are actually super attracted to each other and also neither actually wants to stop and then wham bam Chat Noir suddenly has a boyfriend. 

Chat Noir has a boyfriend. Who he has to see every day in class. And sit next to. And be best friends with. And NOT BE BOYFRIEND-LY TO. 

… mistakes were made. 

“And bro, he is SO hot, I cannot even explain how hot he is unless you’ve seen him up close and personal, it’s ridiculous. And also he BLUSHES like a PEACH and is so easy to fluster and somehow that makes him EVEN HOTTER?” Nino rhapsodizes over lunch while Adrien nods along like a good and supportive and VERY PLATONIC friend, staring past Nino’s shoulder and internally sCREAMING the whole time. 

(aka the story of how Nino gets catnapped off the sidewalk literally fifteen seconds after school lets out and is like “not that I’m not into this but actually I had plans with my buddy Adrien this afternoon” and Chat is like “I’M SURE HE’LL UNDERSTAND”) 

anonymous asked:

Evan and Connor OTP questions??

- Who in your otp had the Emo phase in high school? Evan. Come on, we all know it’s Connor, except it’s not a phase, Cynthia. It’s who he is.
- Who loves breakfast foods? Evan loves almost all breakfast foods. He would eat breakfast for every meal if he could, but that’s ‘not healthy’ according to Alana.
- Who washes the dishes while the other dries? They have a dishwasher, but if it’s busted, Evan washes and Connor dries because Evan is usually more attentive and makes sure the plates are actually clean.
- Who likes to drive? Connor. Evan’s anxiety only worsens when he drives, so Connor does all of the driving for them. Sometimes they walk places, though, or ride their bikes.
- Who is more organized? Evan. Connor doesn’t really mind mess, but Evan always feels better if things are in order.
- Who likes to go outside and who is the hermit? Evan’s the hermit. I kid, I kid. Evan loves being outside, while Connor is pretty sure he’s allergic to the fresh air. He’ll go on hikes and climb trees with Evan if Evan really wants to, though. Connor can’t say no to him.
- Who gets super excited about everything? Evan is definitely the more expressive when it comes to his passions, but Connor does still get excited about things. He tries to act like he doesn’t care, but Evan’s learned to notice the spark in Connor’s eyes when he’s excited about something.
- Who likes to eat spicy food? Connor. Evan has digestive problems and can’t always eat really spicy things. Connor, on the other hand, will drink an entire bottle of hot sauce without blinking.
- Who is the one who kills the bugs? Neither. Evan takes them outside while Connor acts like he’s totally not scared. He is actually very scared.
- Who loves to cook? Connor, surprisingly. Neither one of them knew how until the got to college and Connor bought a bunch of cookbooks to try and make sure they didn’t rely too much on ramen. Also, with Evan’s dietary restrictions, he had to make sure there was something he could eat.
- Who is the one who gets the other to try new things? Evan. Connor can be a stubborn person, but Evan usually gets him to be a bit more adventurous when it comes to the outdoors.
- Who is more protective? They both are, in their own ways. Connor is very physically protective of Evan; he’s willing to beat the crap out of anyone that bothers him. Evan worries over Connor, though, and will stand up for him if he thinks he really needs it.
- Who likes PDA more? Neither one of them. They’re both too uncomfortable around strangers to just start kissing, and they both like to keep their affection private. However, around close friends, Connor’s usually the one cuddling Evan or grabbing his hand. Evan will sometimes initiate things, though.
- Who would go and do something stupid for 20.00$? Connor. Murphy. He can usually be egged on by Jared, who is offering the $20. Evan worries for him, and can usually be found crying on Zoe’s couch whispering “He’s so stupid. Oh my god.”
- Who is the one who eats too much? Evan has a habit of either overeating or undereating. Connor tries to make sure he’s staying healthy, though. 
- Who is the one who lies awake at night if they don’t have the other’s arms around them? Both of them. Once they become comfortable around each other enough to start cuddling, they don’t really want to stop. They’re the type of couple to stay awake texting until one of them crashes (usually Evan). The other (usually Connor) then just stares at pictures of them until they can finally fall asleep.
- Who would be the one to cry at their wedding? Surprisingly, Connor. It just hits him halfway through the ceremony that he’s actually getting married. He didn’t think it would ever happen, and certainly not with someone as amazing as Evan. He just starts bawling and Evan has to hug him until he stops.
- Who buys all the parenting books? Again, Connor. Both boys worry about being good fathers because they both had shitty dads, but Connor’s the one to study up on it. Evan has to tell him that he’s going to be a good dad and that he needs to stop worrying so much.
- Who is the one that tries to cook but can’t? Evan tries to make Connor breakfast in bed on their anniversary and it’s horrifying. He nearly burns down their house. Connor has to use the emergency fire extinguisher while Evan calls 911.
- Who would cheer on the other in an act of stupidity? Neither. If one of them is doing something stupid, the other will try to intervene, especially if Jared Kleinman is involved in some way.
- Who would get the tattoo of their lover’s name? Connor, because Evan hates needles. He doesn’t get Evan’s name, though, he gets his initials tattooed on his wrist for their tenth anniversary. Evan thinks it’s actually pretty romantic.
- Who would wear the other’s clothes in public? They both do. Evan has stolen almost all of Connor’s hoodies and wears them, but Connor’s the one to steal Evan’s shirts. Evan always gets flustered when he sees Connor in one of his blue t-shirts, so Connor keeps doing it.
- Who is the caring one who would do anything for you in an instant? They both are in different ways. Evan would drop everything in his life to be there to emotionally support Connor every step of the way, while Connor would do literally anything to make sure Evan is safe and happy.
- Who constantly laughs at themselves? Both still get embarrassed easily, but Connor’s the first to laugh at himself when he does something stupid. Evan always worries about looking like an idiot.
- Who brings home a stray dog and begs the other to keep it? CONNOR. He brings home like, thirty dogs a year and Evan always hates telling him no, but they don’t have enough room for all of them. They do adopt two, though, and Connor is alright with that.
- Who proposes? Evan does. Connor isn’t the most romantic, and he’s honestly probably a little more insecure about their relationship than Evan is. He just worries that he’s going to screw it up all the time. Evan proposes to him in the old orchard Connor’s family used to go to, and Connor sort of panics and says nothing and Evan gets worried until finally Connor just blurts out “Why?” Things eventually work themselves out, though.
- Who takes forever in the bathroom? Connor ‘My hair has to look amazing, Evan’ Murphy. His hair does look amazing, though, so Evan doesn’t really complain.
- Who bounces their leg up and down constantly? Evan. He has a lot of nervous ticks, and bouncing his leg is one of them. If it gets out of hand, Connor just leans over and puts his hand on Evan’s knee to get him to stop.
- Who is the one who doesn’t study and aces their exams? Connor. He is in classes with Alana Beck, after all. He’s incredibly intelligent, but he doesn’t try at all and thus doesn’t live up to his full potential. He always helps Evan study, though.
- Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when they are tired? Evan. Connor thinks it’s really cute, though, so he keeps telling Evan jokes to get him to laugh more.

bipp-bopp  asked:

How would each person do if they worked at Starbucks?

Mikasa: Would draw little bunnies on the cups with a straight face
Reiner: Writes is pone number on the cups of hot ppl, no matter if they’re there with their partner or not
Bertholdt: would be overwhelmed by the stress
Annie: Doesn’t write names on the cups and everything gets messed up
Eren: is super enthusiastic about the job but also gets pissed at people who are rude to him
Jean: Is really good in making the drinks
Marco: Does everything with love, but is a bit too slow due to that
Sasha: Constantly misspells names and end up seeing photos of her fuck ups online
Connie: Super stressed, constantly swears
Historia: Laughs the costumers in the face but spits into ppls drinks if they ask for her number
Armin: Always comes up with events to further saving the planet
Ymir: Just trows everything together randomly like who even cares it has caffeine, don’t complain
Levi: People come to that exact Starbucks, because damn he does all the drinks so well and girls want him to be their daddy (yikes)
Hanji: Is too icky to work with food lol
Erwin: Barista Handsome, ends up becoming a meme
Nanaba: Has huge fun in that job and does super well
Mike: Dances to the music on the radio all the time
Moblit: Drinks more coffee than he sells

I don't speak Spansh either.

So, this happened several years ago. My boyfriend and I had been in a long-distance relationship for a long time, and we would see each other maybe twice a year. This was during one of my month-long visits to him over the summer.

We’d decided we wanted to go to one of the nearby malls, and had to take two separate buses to get there. Him living in SoCal, it was fucking scorching; it was probably around 100F. For a “delicate” NorCal girl like me, that feels like death.

We’d gotten off the first bus and were walking to another stop a couple of blocks down to catch the next one. We’re stopped at a corner of a particularly long street, waiting for the light to change so we can cross, and there’s  group of three girls behind us. We’re not paying them much mind at first, until I hear one of them go “No, I don’t want to ask them! I don’t even speak Spanish! How am I supposed to talk to them?”

This is where it’s important to note that my boyfriend and I are both of Salvadorian descent, and therefore pretty obviously brown. However, my Spanish is incredibly poor [that’s a whole different story], and I really hate it when people assume that I don’t speak English. It’s rude. But whatever. I guess it happens. It’s what happens next that ticks me off. An attempted whisper: “Look, just ask the girl. Fat girls are always nice.”

Okay. Fine. Not worth my fucking time. I’m not even gonna say anything because it’s hot and who wants to deal with this shit. But then from behind me I hear, awkwardly, “Perdón?” I turn, and it’s one of the girls–surprisingly, one that also looks latina. She sounded like the one who’d claimed not to speak Spanish.

“Yeah?”

She looked a bit surprised, and relieved that I spoke unaccented English. “We were wondering if you could tell us how to get to _____?” Some location. I was the wrong person to ask.

“Sorry, I’m not from around here. You’ll have to ask him.” I gestured to my boyfriend. Again, I’m from NorCal, so I had no idea where anything was down there.

The girl turned to him hesitantly, asked him, and my boyfriend, being friendly, gave them directions. Turns out it was straight down the long street we were on. The girls took off without even thanking us, and the light changed so we finally crossed the street and waited for us bus.

The bus shows up maybe ten or so minutes later, and we’re relieved to be out of that god-awful San Fernando Valley heat. The bus takes us down the long stretch of road, and I see the girls from before trudging down the sidewalk under the merciless SoCal sun.

“I told them that it was right down the street,” my boyfriend says. “I never told them the bus goes there.”

TL;DR: Girl assumes boyfriend and I don’t speak English, her friend makes a rude comment about my weight thinking I won’t understand, boyfriend gives them directions to were they want to go but makes them walk in the hot sun instead of telling them the bus goes straight to their destination.

EDIT: The problem isn’t that they assumed I don’t speak English. The problem is that they called me fat and assumed I wouldn’t understand them. Also they didn’t even say thanks for the directions. Just walked away as soon as my boyfriend finished. Rude.

EDIT: “SouCal”