also found this on facebook

Hey If any of you are like me and have tickets to PWR BTTM’s sold out Chicago shows, The Subterranean is offering refunds due to the situation. Other venues will likely offer refunds as well when they offically cancel their tour, which I’m imagining will happen 

Welcome to the new Cracked feature which we are tentatively calling What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? The answer, at this moment, is this:

A bunch of students who got accepted to Harvard for the fall semester started a Facebook group, then within that group a clique formed specifically to trade the edgiest of dank memes. Since they were doing this under their own names and also as part of a goddamned Harvard Facebook group, the school found out and yanked their acceptance, a decision the school says is always final. Kids, the real world is not 4chan. The sooner you find that out, the better.

What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now?

6

Imagine Draco being jealous of Blaise being flirtatious towards you.

Requested by @cabinetxbattles - Could you do a Draco x Reader where Draco is jealous that Blaise is flirting with the reader and he decides to show y/n that he is better? Super fluffy and kisses please 

A/N: hope you like it, love. Also, I found inspiration on a post on facebook… I know. I don’t really know how to tag it in without tagging in my friend so this part was pointless really, yet i’m still going.

Gender Neutral Reader

Words: 786

Not My GIFs:

GIF1: @malfoyco GIF2: @noneedtocallmesir-professor

GIF3: @pleasingpics GIF4: @dreamydrarry 


Draco stared watching the scene in front of him. Blaise stood whilst trapping Y/N between himself and the wall and their friends who were surrounding them as they were waiting for Draco to come out of class. It was only when Blaise made Y/N laugh at one of his jokes or attempts at flirting that Draco started to glare, he was in a bad mood now… all thanks to Blaise.

Draco walked up to them and grabbed Y/N’s hand in his as he walked ahead of his friends, not really in the mood to entertain them.  

Y/N: Babe, what’s wrong?

Draco: Nothing.

Y/N knew not to push any further and decided to drop the subject and began following Draco to the Great Hall for lunch.  


Some time had passed and Draco had calmed down slightly, enough to enjoy a joke or two from Y/N. His mood soon became sour again when Blaise joined in with the odd flirtatious comment and innuendo at Y/N’s expense.  Draco’s fists clenched harder and harder as he tried to keep his composure in front of his people and the school, knowing his father would be mad if he caused a scene.  

After the final class Draco had cooled down completely. As the class walked out of the dreary potions class room Y/N, who had been waiting outside with his friends that weren’t in the class, jumped at Draco as he turned the corner to head to the Slytherin common room. Immediately Draco’s day brightened as bright as his smile was that he only ever held for Y/N.  

His smile towards Y/N turned into his signature smirk as his friends walked around the corner and came into view. Y/N stood close to Draco whilst they talked.

Y/N: so, how was potions?

Draco: It was as entertaining as it always is.  

Draco said sounding completely indifferent, causing Y/N to laugh at his words. Draco almost joined in but when Blaise came into view Draco’s mood had a slightly sour edge. The group all hung around outside the potions classroom, to much into their conversation and banter to take any bother in moving.  
As the conversation changed so did Draco’s mood, once again. Draco found that Blaise had placed himself next to Y/N so that Y/N stood in between Blaise and Draco. Draco watched with the corner of his eye as Blaise moved closer to Y/N to the point where they are almost touching.  It wasn’t until Y/N had laughed at something Blaise had said that Draco finally snapped. It wasn’t that Y/N laughed nor what Blaise had said, but the Blaise’s reaction from Y/N’s laughter. Blaise looked as though he was undressing Y/N with his eyes, Draco made eye contact with Blaise for just a second and it was the fact that Blaise knew that Draco had seen when he had done and Blaise wasn’t even apologetic. That is what made Draco snap.  

Draco wrapped his arm around Y/N’s waist and pulled them closer to him whilst glaring at Blaise. Y/N turned to look at Draco they only saw so much before Draco leant in and attacked Y/N with kisses. Y/N, liking the attention Draco was giving them, kissed back both completely ignoring Blaise’s cough as he tried to interrupt the couple. Draco pulled back for a moment before glancing at Blaise with a smirk on his face, an expression that didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N.  

Draco: *to Y/N* Do you want to go to the common room?

Y/N simply nodded and let Draco take them by the hand as they walked away.  

Once the couple reached the common room and had sat down together on the leather couches.  

Y/N: was somebody jealous?  

Y/N teasingly asked.  Draco simply shook his head causing Y/N to scoff.  

Y/N: oh please, don’t think I didn’t see the look you gave Blaise after you snogged me in front off all our friends. *Draco chuckles*

Draco: what did you expect me to do, He had been flirting with you all day. And just then he was undressing you with eyes. *He said causing Y/N to chuckle*

Y/N: So you do admit you were jealous?

Draco: I wasn’t jealous, Jealousy is wanting something that isn’t yours… I was protecting what’s already mine.

Draco spoke with a devilish smirk causing Y/N to blush. It was like a switch had flipped and the couple couldn’t keep their hands of each other as Draco pulled Y/N in for another kiss.  


[A/N: I really hoped you like it, had trouble writing it so let me know what you think, that would be great xx]

Submit a Request

4

Wolpertinger

Bavarian folklore tells of the wolpertinger (also calledwolperdinger or woiperdinger), a mythological hybridanimal allegedly inhabiting the alpine forests ofBavaria in Germany. These mythological creatures are known by every Bavarian as being mischievous.

Description

It has a body comprising various animal parts — generally wings, antlers, tails and fangs, all attached to the body of a small mammal. The most widespread description portrays the Wolpertinger as having the head of a rabbit, the body of a squirrel, the antlers of a deer, and the wings and occasionally the legs of a pheasant.

Stuffed “wolpertingers”, composed of parts of actual stuffed animals, are often displayed in inns or sold to tourists as souvenirs in the animals’ “native regions”. The Deutsches Jagd- und Fischereimuseum inMunich, Germany features a permanent exhibit on the creature.

It resembles other creatures from German folklore, such as the Rasselbock of the Thuringian Forest, or the Elwedritsche of the Palatinate region, which accounts describe as a chicken-like creature with antlers; additionally the American Jackalope as well as the Swedish Skvader somewhat resemble the wolpertinger. The Austrian counterpart of the wolpertinger is the raurakl.


In popular culture

1: Wolpertingers feature in the MMORPG RuneScapeas creatures that can be summoned. It is depicted as a combination of a rabbit and a wolf.

2: Wolpertingers are the main characters in the novelRumo by Walter Moers. The novel depicts them as anthropomorphic dogs with small horns.

3: Wolpertingers and Skvaders appear in “Adventure Path #61: Shards of Sin” for the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game as encounters and also as new familiar options for spellcasters.

4: A wolpertinger features on one of the special animal tiles in the Winter Edition of Carcassonne.

5: The wolpertinger features as a monster in Here Be Monsters. The game can also be found on Facebook.

6: Wolpertingers are an obtainable pet in the MMORPG World of Warcraft during the Brewfest event.

7: Wolpertingers are an obtainable mount in the MMORPG Tibia.

8: Wolpertinger is the German translation for jackalope in the game Guild Wars 2.

9: The Wolpertinger is a monster encountered in the jungle in the text-based MMORPG Improbable Island.

10: Wolpertingers are common background creatures in the Land of a Thousand Fables adventure in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Blood and Wine.

11: The San Francisco storytelling group Odd Salon uses a Wolpertinger (named Harvey) as their mascot.

Source"Wikapedia.com

2

OMG

OMG

Guys.  I thought I could draw this.  I was so dead wrong.
You don’t know how many times I had to STOP because this was too adorable for me to handle. 
Also requested by my Facebook friend, WHO LAUGHED EVILLY WHEN SHE FOUND OUT I COULDN’T FINISH BECAUSE VIRGIL WAS TOO ADORABLE.

@photowizard17 - I somehow did it! *facedesks*

anonymous asked:

HOLY SHUT THAT IS TOO CUTE!! Also, KATSUDAMN!! Side note. This time I found out via Facebook. I HAVE YOU ON ALERT. HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!!

THANKS THANKS!!! OUO
So glad that it turned out cute, I wanted the interaction to be pretty nice X3
And lolol “Katsudamn” XD
Oh, woah, that’s still so crazy O_O
I wonder why tumblr won’t alert you ;;

I haven’t read this book yet but I love it already. Yes, that’s my namesake so imagine how cool it would’ve been if books like this existed when I was growing up.

 This re-imaging of the classic fairytale is set in the Kingdom of Lesotho so Refilwe is high up in a mountain cave instead of a tower and she has long beautiful dreadlocks.

 A big shout out to Zukiswa Wanner (who is also the founder of the Read SA campaign) and other African writers who are telling our stories and retelling the classics for the children of the continent to enjoy and identify with.

  •  REFILWE: An African retelling of Rapunzel by Zukiswa Wanner is available at Exclusive Books stores. I’m hoping that it’s also available in SeSotho, SePedi, SeTswana and  other vernacular languages.

Pic: Found on Facebook via Maria McCloy’s timeline

I’ve been seeing a lot of post on social media which are basically anti-writing advice: Posts that warn that books on writing are formulaic, that claim that the writing process is too unique for any advice to be useful, that shout “You can read all the writing books in the world but you’ll never get better if you don’t write!”

I have major beef with these posts. Why? Because they are discouraging, they are condescending, they devalue writing/art, and they devalue writing/art communities. Here’s why:

They encourage the idea that writing is a innate skill that cannot be taught. These posts are the kind I more often see on facebook than here. They often send the message that if you are bad at writing, you will stay bad at writing. You cannot be taught how to write, you have to be born with it. No advice in the world will help you get better.

They stick their noses up at those who do take advice. These posts are also found more on facebook. They aren’t written by writers, they are written by Writers, Artists with a capital “A” who look down at the rest of us, poor souls who don’t really understand Art. “Writing can’t be taught,” they shout. “It comes from within! Find it in your soul or chakras or whatever the fuck.”

They make writing look easy, like it takes no real skill or technique. This one is obviously different from the other two, and it comes from tumblr. On tumblr, artists of all sorts like to scream “Just practice!” You ever heard the phrase “Don’t pay the writer.” It comes from that idea that everybody can write, so why value writing? “Just practice” does the same thing: You can already write, so just do it a bunch and you’ll get better! This ignores the knowledge required for good writing. If we were in STEM, it would seem ridiculous to ask students to practice before teaching them, but of course, we value STEM far above the arts.

They take a huge shit on writing communities like writblr. You follow blogs that give writing advice, you own a blog that gives writing advice, and on this writing advice blog you make a post for fellow writing advice bloggers who are looking for writing advice. What does this post read? “Other people’s opinions about writing don’t matter! Ignore all the advice and follow your own path.” We are in this community for support and advice. If you are only going to shit on advice, those who give it, and those who take it, why are you here?

I have a million other ideas about this topic but the post is getting a little long so I’ll end it with a shout out to my favorite book on writing:  Creating Characters: The Complete Guide to Populating Your Fiction By The Editors of Writer’s Digest. I didn’t take every piece of advice in this book (the romance chapters were awful in my opinion) but honestly it’s the only writing book I can say changed the way I write in a big way. It completely revived my wip and I honestly can’t thank the writers enough for the idea of the “knot” and a bunch of their other advice on character arcs. I read it on kindle unlimited and loved it so much I bought a physical copy! 

Fucked Unsatisfied Women

To introduce myself l ’m rocky (name changed), 27 years, 5’9 in height, normal physic and brown in colour nothing to hide ..After reading u can share ur valuable comments to : ravee007@gmail.com.

Here I’m gonna share my story which happen in the beginning of April 2018. After reading my previous story. I received a mail from unknown person as an appropriation.. here i come her name was shanthi (name changed). She was from Chennai and was settled in bangalore itself and was working as a techie in one of the software companies. And people this is a very big story which I would like to write each and every bit. So if you have patience, please read and if people with less patience,

Let start up ????, Shanthi (she did not reveal her name instantly, she had a fake name kavya) who had liked my story and had left a reply stating that she was impressed with my act of sex. Well I had thanked her for the compliments, but had replied nothing more than that to her. She was actually happy that I had not asked her age nor where she lived (she revealed it later), or what she did, she just had replied that she was a female and had appreciated my act of sex.

After my reply, some 2-3 days later she had mailed me again that she really liked my story. I again replied her that thank you, have a good time. I thought she might have read my story for the second time and had complimented me. I did not recognize it since I had many mails and it was hard for me to remember each and every name. After that I went back to my mails and checked the name and a, I got to know that it was the same woman, and I messaged her saying why are you complimenting multiple times as you know one time is enough and there’s no need of multiple mails…

She said “ok thank you and said bye”, I said “bye”.

Then I asked her “who is it? Is it a lady really or a man?”

It was already 10:30pm and I did not get a reply. I just kept my phone aside and for some time thought about my time with Kavya aunty ..

And I had dozed off and when I got at around 7:30 am I just checked my mobile there were 3 mails. They read
“good night? Do you sleep so early?”

“hey you there?”
I did not reply any mail of hers as I thought she might have no work and she’s just a time passer who wants to chat nonsense things and again in the evening I got her mail
“don’t you care to reply when somebody mail you?”
I just did not care and after I finished my office work and went back home and after I settled on bed,

I mailed her “who are you? Why do you want to know about me so much?”, she again replied when it was about to close to 12am. She wrote

“no I was just casually asking you as I felt I can try you out, if it was ok with you!”

I told her “who are you? I don’t know! Where do you live? I don’t know! What do you want? I don’t know? And how do you want to try me?”

She told if “I just want to check you before revealing who I’m and where I’m from”.

I wrote “if you wanted to check me out, you could have directly asked me for privacy as I had written in my story that nothing will be disclosed”

She said “I’m a woman and we’re very keen in these matters when we need to understand a man if is trustful or not”
I wrote “how do you find me?”

She wrote “till now, as per my observation, you seem to hold your horses and you are not a man in hurry if you get a woman to chat”
I asked her “how do you say that I’m not in hurry if I know that you a woman”

She said “I have tried chatting with many, some from “locanto” also, they are all very much into sex and urgency”

I again mailed her “you there?”
There was no reply for 2 days. And on the third day night I got a reply
“so you don’t seem to care what a woman thinks right?”
I just told her “I know you are checking, stop doing it”

I just sent her my phone number, and said “stop this beating about the bush and let’s get it straight”.
There was reply “so can I trust you? Should I message you in WhatsApp?”

I told her “it’s up to you, think twice before you step ahead.”
She said she’ll think. I was like “think if you want to start a new affair”.

The next day I received a message from an unknown number saying
“how are you?”

And I thought it might be the same woman from gmail I asked is this shanthi and she said “good guess”.
And I checked her number in whatsapp and I found she’s not in whatsapp, neither her number details were in true caller. I said to her that “why can’t you message me in whatsapp?” to which she said that I did not want to reveal my pic to you but I have already seen you and found you in facebook (through mobile number) also. Then she told me that she had a separate number for whatsapp and she had brought the new number for the sake of chatting with me.
I told her “that’s a smart move and told her that I can even call you now”. She told “no don’t call me now since I’m in office”. Then I asked her “can I call her in the evening?” to which she said she has a family and she has to be careful, so she said that she herself would call me once when the time is right and when she was free and.

For three days she just chatted bull shit things about all the nonsense stuff and never got into the main topic. Finally on (Thursday) 19th of April 2017, early morning around 8am I received a call… was still sleeping, the moment I saw the name (had saved it as Shanthi), I picked it up and I really heard good voice from the other side. Well the conversation went like this.
Me: hey hi hello shanthi(since she had not revealed her name till then)
Shanthi: ha ha, hi rocky , I guess you were waiting for my call.
Me: ya off course, I was indeed having a thought that you’ll just finish off in messaging and would not go a little ahead.

Shanthi : oh yaa? How was the wait?
Me: I’m still waiting madam, I haven’t got you till now, leave all that and tell me what’s your name and age?
Shanthi: soon you’ll get to know, would like to see me,
I said yes, “then just log in to your google mail and see me” she said, I have had sent you my nude pic already yesterday night.
Me: I said wait a moment

And logged in into my google mail in laptop and found that there is a nude pic in side posture with no face (she had cropped the face, only neck to toe was in the pic). But the structure what I could make out was 34-30-36 (approximately, not sure then as it was side posture), the boobs were c cup sized and they were quite white in color, a little belly and through the pic I thought she might be around 35-40 aged lady, since the pic was taken in low light I was unable to see the nipples and the boobs were partially covered by her folded hand, I was sad, disappointed and hungry, and said to her

Me: what is this seduction? You could have at least shared the front view without your face also, but this is unfair. She said only one thing.

Shanthi: coming Monday ur going to make yourself free?
Me: ya sure !!
Shanthi: ok! Bye………

And she cut the call. After that I called her twice, she cut the call and messaged me, “sunday night wait for my message”, I replied “I’ll wait”. I was feeling energetic and was imaging how might she be? How could she look? What is her age? Where is she from? Too many things in mind mixed and the jingles were going on.

I just got freshened and had my breakfast, went to have a gold facial nearby to my home and came back. The complete saturday I thought of messaging her but as she had told me to wait till Monday for the message, I just kept myself busy with other work. she did not message me till Sunday night. It was around 11:45pm my phone made a beep sound and I was like omg finally she messaged me, it read “morning 10:45, be near forum mall. I ll pick you up”. I replied “done”. I just messaged my lead that I won’t be able to make it to office tomorrow due personal reason

I was waiting for this moment like a hungry tiger, next day morning I got up early and freshened up, I left my home, in the mean way, took a few packet of durex condoms and was at the venue by 10:15am, I waited near the location and I called her at 10:30am saying that I‘m already at the venue. She told 5 min I’m on my way…I waited for around 10-12 mins and she called me again, told me to come down near front gate . you’ll find a Maruti Swift of black colour, just get in, I followed her instructions and went by the way to find the car, and found it and I just did not enter the car and stood behind the car and called her number and she picked the call and told me enter the car, I can see you from the mirror in front of the driving seat, you’re behind the car.

I said ok and when I opened the door, I just thought, wow, I was blessed, man what a fairness??? I thought did she use to drink fair and lovely cream or was she a foreigner? I just sat beside her and I shook hands with her pressing it a little hard and introduced myself with my real name then she said her name is Shanthi(fake name). She had a sleeveless top of black colour and a white legging, with a ray ban cooling glass. I controlled myself and the moment the handshake ended she asked “shall we move?” I said “by all means madam, she told me “don’t call me madam, call me by my name Shanthi.

I think, she was the fairest women I had seen. Omg, she was so cute on the other hand. I just said her that “you’re very cute, and I can’t take my eyes off you”. She said, “oh wait for the real fun”.
Then I asked her about her family and she told me that she’s from Chennai and settled in Bangalore for the past 10 years, her husband works as a manger in a software company and she has a daughter.

I asked her why did she cut the call immediately on Saturday to which she told that she had wanted to convey certain things and she did that. On that day her husband had taken their daughter out. So she thought that’s the right time and had given me a call.

Then we reached her home which was near by forum mall, it was around 11:30am. And she parked the car and entered the apartment, after that she took me to her flat and it was a good home and she asked me sit on the couch. I was just seeing the things in the home, saw her pic with her husband and child, it was a happy family that what I could make out of the pic. After some time, she came back, she had changed herself into a velvet pink gown and came back asked what do you want to drink and I was just hungry to drink her honey, which would get produced down the body between her thighs.

But I said anything that you provide; she brought a couple of tins of red bull energy drink (perfect match for the perfect time). She sat beside me and I asked her

Me: why did you want me to have fun with you when you have a good husband who provides and keeps you so well?
Shanthi: tell me how did you feel when you had sex with your Kavya aunty?

Me: it was fantabulous and experience can’t be explained, it was heaven, although I had tried putting it down on iss and you have read my story.

Shanthi: did you ever ask her how did she feel to have sex with other man other than her hubby?

Me: yeah she had told me that initially she felt guilty, depressed and thought of committing suicide for cheating her hubby, but I had consoled her and when I introduced her also to indian sex stories, she was carried away, she said that she never knew incest kind of a thing also would exist in the world and she had enjoyed a lot of sexperiences shared in the indian sex stories dot net later.

Shanthi: , if you taste the same dal and rice every day, it would not spice up your life, plus life is once for all and I feel restricting myself to a single male is not enjoyable, don’t take me in a wrong way but I feel the attention from my husband has decreased periodically and I wouldn’t say it as wrong. I just wanted some change and was looking for someone who could be trustful. I just want to spice up my life a little bit.

Me: what made you think that you could trust me?

Shanthi: I never saw you calling me over the phone continuously like most men of your age do when we actually want to try and work out with them. I was very keen on such things and it has almost been a month since I started interacting with you and the interaction itself has made me to get closer to you, I think you didn’t rush to the point quickly.

By the time she had finished the sentence, I was done with the drink and went beside her and sat next to her touching myself to her. She gave smile and even she finished her drink and I asked her
Me: how do like to do it? Do you like soft or hard, get dominated or would like to dominate or BDSM?

Shanthi: I just would like to enjoy the process the way I like it while doing, just follow my instructions while performing the act.
I held her hand and just pulled her over to me, gave a very stern look at her. I was just trying stare as long as possible and she herself moved her lips towards mine. I just held her again and made her sit over me on my thighs with her legs on either side of my thighs and her face facing me. She was puzzled as for why I didn’t initiate the kiss. I just moved my fingers all over her cheek and made my lips touch her cheeks and lightly I started feeling her and my hands were moving around her neck and she was moving her face in such a way that our lips should get together, but I wanted to tease her and I just started to kiss her all over the face very slowly, very very slowly and was not accelerating myself quickly.

I started licking her cheek and chin, went a little down the line till her neck and again came back to the portion below her lips and she tried to forcefully kiss me yet I held her firmly and looked at her, she was a bit exited, I guess her hormones were driving her crazy and she had started a small rubbing movement on my part. She suddenly brought her lips to mine and I kissed her gently initially. I just rubbed my lips and in the process started to open up our lips and I took her lower lip in mine and started to suck it and again let her take mine and reciprocate the same and it was making me go out of breath and I just wanted to take a long breath held her firmly away from my body and gave a stern look at her (actually it was to take a deep breath and not let her know the reason as it would reduce the excitement), she saw me in the eye and now again we indulged in the act of kissing and I sucked her tongue and her lips and were kissing like we had never done this before and I broke the kiss and started feeling her side parts of her lips and started to feel her ear lobes and neck and she was moaning with her head held high and giving access to me to enjoy her skin a little more.

Again I took her face in my hands and started kissing and the kiss was very deep and this time we actually exchanged our saliva (there is nothing tasty about saliva, but it’s very exciting). And it had already been around 10mins I guess we had started the kiss, I broke it again and asked her where the bedroom is? She showed me by pointing her hand towards the far left and I just stood up by holding her ass and entangling her legs around me, she was still kissing me and I pressed my right hand on her head to pressurize the kissing while my left hand was holding her ass so as to withstand her weight and balance her. Meanwhile, I just pulled her lower lip by my teeth and then I let it release and using my sharp end of the tongue I just traced the upper lining of the lip.

After this, when we moved to the bedroom, I just dropped her on the bed, positioned myself on the bed sideways and we still kept kissing and she put her left leg over me and dragged me closer and our kissing was like lachhh lachhh sound. Finally, after 5 mins of kissing on the bed, I started to feel her upper portion of the breasts with my mouth over the gown.

My hands were feeling her waist all the time and till then I still had not touched her breasts. Firstly, I made her get up from the bed and made her to stand and removed her gown, she had a blue bra, she herself took it off and my god, my god, and those were the most beautiful boobs I had seen till then. I could see the green veins from my naked eye in her breasts. The nipples light pink in color. Wow, god, you’re really great, I felt like eating them instantly, but guys always have one thing in mind, in sex, man gets charged up like fire lit up by a match stick instantly, but a woman to get charged up is like keeping a bowl of cold water, which takes time to get hated up when kept on fire. So she has to be loved, she has to romance, she has to get charged.

I didn’t just grab them (breasts) the moment I started the foreplay, I let my fingers gently touch the skin around the nipples and the surrounding areas. Once the nipples hardened, I started to stroke them to pleasure her more. I was continuously looking at her face to gauge her reaction. Guys this technique will help you understand how much she likes it or if she’s not into it and also it will not let her feel that you love her breasts.

I started to cup her breasts from behind while kissing her on her neck. Since she had 34c big breasts, as my hand was not able to cover the entire area. After I had cupped them, gently ran my fingers and even my hand around the entire breast to arouse her more. I gently pressed on the nipple using my index finger and massaged in a circular motion to harden them.

Gently, I kept massaging the breasts in a circular fashion with my hands and then squeezed them harder. Kept an eye on her reaction to knowing if I had to intensify the pressure or continue with the same. I made her shriek with joy by teasing her nipples. I wet my finger with my saliva and gently grazed it on her nipples. Next, I gently blew on them for a cool effect. After that, I directly licked them with my tongue and then blew air on them with my mouth. Alternate between these two and she was going wild, seeing her go wild with her chest rise and fall, her moans made me evident that she was aroused and was enjoying the play. Omg, I still have precum now writing it thinking of her movements that day, when I had made love to her.

Once she started enjoying this, I started to suck on the nipples too. While I was sucking on one nipple, I placed my hand on the other breast and kept massaging it. Then moved on to the other one. When I kept sucking on nipples, she was pressing my head on to her breasts. This was making the act more pleasurable for her as well. She made me remove my shirt in between and felt my body firmly. Later, I released myself from her, I started to stroke her abdomen with my fingertips to give her that tingly, goose bump-worthy feeling. It happens to be more shiver-producing if you stroke up toward her breasts as opposed to down toward her pubic area.
Then, at the base of her stomach, I give her a taste of what’s to come by licking along them. The nerve endings there lead to her clitoris (I learned these by studying in articles), so she’ll feel some sensual aftershocks. I started to stimulate her waist by stroking her from just underneath the rib cage to her hips. Used a firmer touch, since it’s a more ticklish spot than most.

Later I made flip and made her face facing the bed, I started teasing the base of her spine with my hands, placed a palm on either side of her spine, then move my fingers up and down so they flutter over her skin. This was making her uncontrollable and she was making very loud moans and shaking her body like a snake. I just went down to her butts, she had light blue panty, I just held the elastic material and pulled it and Shanthi lifted herself up to give access for her panty to be removed.

I rubbed my palm in circles on her butt. It was creating a tingling sensation in her body and she was raising her hips for the massaging of my hands. I just kissed the butt one by one, creating a wet patch on each of it. Now I thought was time to turn her around and as I did it, her pussy was completely wet and it had gagged out juices like anything. It was a white pussy, she told me later that she had kept it neatly shaved for me.

Now my dick was paining like never before and I took off my jeans. I again went to bed, but Shanthi removed my boxer also and she held my dick for a while and gently stroked it and was about to take it in the mouth but I avoided it as I had to taste her pussy first. But I had still the navel to be tasted, I just felt her navel with my fingers and let her enjoy the tickling sensation. She had very long and oval shaped deep navel and I loved it. I brought my mouth on to it and kissed it and started to suck it. Very slowly, I provided gentle kisses and gathered my saliva in the mouth and filled her navel with my saliva. It was very wonderful to watch and the saliva started to drop out of the navel by a line of trace path and I used my tongue, sharpened it and licked that trace path and she was humming like uhhh uh ahmmmmmm and she kept her hands on my head. I kissed her lower abdomen, the underlining of a woman, especially aunties and that too Indian aunties who wear sarees is the greatest thing in the world and no women in the world could match it.

After feeling and enjoying her abdomen for quite few time, I think she was feeling too much heat in down between her thighs and she then moved my face a little downwards indicating me to love her pussy.

People I just love pussy eating, that’s the world’s best part for me. I just want to swim in it if it was possible. A slippery woman’s pussy is a delight to eat. I started to caress her thighs since the skin in this area is particularly sensitive. Then, teased this spot‚ the pleasure zone from the top of her thighs to a few inches above the inside of her knees‚ while she’s on top during foreplay. Since she was already aroused, the extra stimulation would have brought her closer to her peak. It was time for me to concentrate on the love hole. I didn’t go straight for the clit! Started by licking her pussy lips. Those were one hell pair of luscious lips. Went further down. She was wriggling to move her pussy to touch my tongue. But, I started with the lips and teased, teased, teased!

When she started begging for it (groaning, asking for it, grinding), that’s when I moved to the clit(but still didn’t touch it, just caressed area around the clit). Meanwhile, I kissed her thighs, kissed her outer lips, took a deep breath in, she was murmuring how much she wanted this. Guys when you make a woman crazy with such foreplay, you can get anything you want. Including a wet juicy pussy to play with and fuck senseless.

But again I started with this languorous broad stroke from the bottom of her pussy up past her clit. Then did it again. Slowly. Then licked everywhere. Her labia were lusciously lovely. Seriously they were one hell of a vertical pair of lips. What a taste it gave in my mouth. Oh, she still brings out the devil inside me. I was using my tongue to trace the lining of the outer and the inner lips of Shanthi She was shouting with ecstasy. My tongue was giving her the perfect pleasure. Shanthi was folding her legs over my head but I had to hold them firmly so that I can make her squirt.

The clit was still not still given the concentration as it is the main part of the pussy. After spending some quality time with the outer and inner labia and its linings, I had now to take care of her clit. It was medium sized clit protruding outward. I just touched it with my tongue and Shanthi went crazy, she lifted her hips up and out of bed to get it completely into my mouth but I held her lower abdomen portion and place it on bed and still kept her clit licking with tongue and she caught my head and dug it into her clit and now I had to take the entire clit in my mouth as it had been enormous teasing and she could not have waited any further. I kept eating her clit and brushed my complete mouth and nose into her pussy and since I had kept a small crunch of beard, I rubbed it against her clit and she jumped out, and again I held her started to eat her clit and after minute of completely making it wet, I blew air on it and she was shouting aaahhhhhhahhahhhh ahhhahhahhhahhh ahhhahhahhah.

And again I started the same procedure and she folded her legs and she let out her first orgasm, that was thunderous and pouring like a damn full of river, I kept eating her clit and drank her cum partially, it tasted salty. She was moving her body like a snake, she was not in her own control and she was swinging and twisting her body and her movements started to subside moments later but I still was eating her pussy and now what I did was took her right leg and kept it over my left shoulder and kept my fingers in Shanthi mouth and she sucked my fingers like a hungry child sucking milk. Once she made my fingers wet, I inserted one finger into her pussy now and she left a loud moan and I started the too and fro movement and gently brought in my second finger and still carried the too and fro movement while my mouth was on her clit sucking it and had her hands in my head. I dug my fingers into her pussy and just bent them inside her pussy, so as to touch the spongy, sensitive and the crazy part of the woman body, the g-spot.

I started stimulating it and she somewhat started to feel the heat again and now with the rigorous sucking of the clit and the continuous stimulation of her g-spot by my fingers, she was bending her chest and again rising it, she was unable to control the excitement and she sometimes held the bedspread and sometimes suddenly pressing my head, she was moaning like aarrrhhhh, aaaahhhh, she was shouting, I sensed that she was ready for her second orgasm and now she again let it out and as like the first orgasm, she had gallons of cum stored, and she released it in like a dam, the bed was completely wet with her juices and she had no sense of what was happening and she just had got carried away in the act, the act that I had directed it. She was taking deep breaths, her breaths were so long that she almost lifted her chest portion to suck the air. She was traumatized. I was feeling very proud of making her feel this pleasure. Slowly she was able to hold herself now and it took her few minutes to calm.

After her second orgasm had completed she almost got back to senses and she forcefully pulled me up and smooched me and she had tears in her eyes, she just was unable to control them and I knew that these were the tears of complete satisfaction. She told she can’t wait anymore and asked me to penetrate immediately. I obliged her words, and took my pant and took out the condom packet and as I was resting might right leg on the bed and the left leg on the floor, she could get access to my dick. In the meanwhile, she got up and held dick and took it into her mouth and she actually sucked my penis for a minute and immediately tore the condom wrapper and took out the condom inserted it on my dick and pulled me upon her and widened her legs, she just signaled me to start with pleading face. I just held my dick and started rubbing it to tease her, friends, tease a woman as much as possible, as I have said earlier, a woman is like a bowl of cold water and it requires time to get heated up when kept on fire, and when she’s heated up, the excitement is completely different..

The way I was teasing her now rubbing my dick on her pussy lips. I just laughed at her sentence this instigated her more and she made me lie down and she came upon me and she held my dick in hand and inserted it in her pussy. She was not that tight nor completely lose, her pussy gripped my penis perfectly and Shanthi was moving up and down. Her rhythmic movements were a feast to watch and I held her breasts in each hand and I dragged her towards me and took one of her nipples in my mouth and she was feeling like she was on cloud nine. Friends, this was the woman I had seen till now, who never cared about moaning, she moaned and moaned like a loud speaker, I don’t know if the outsiders were able to hear it or not, but her moans have had an extra boost in me ad it would encourage me to pleasure her more.

After making love in that position for 8-10 mins, she felt exhausted and I changed the position into doggy and seriously I penetrated her very deep and was hitting her complete canal length. The piston movement was much faster here and I held her hairs like a lagam and rode her lethally, she was unable to hold herself on the knees and she collapsed, because of which again we changed our position and finally took missionary position and in this position she rested very peacefully, I was able to kiss her, we actually held each other very tightly and I was eating her neck and breast portion and she gave a love bite on shoulder and it was very painful, it is still visible on my shoulder even after a year and a half (my parents, my relatives and some of my friends have been questioning me till date how it happened, but what can I say to parents and relatives, I just bluff something and move out from their eyesight) and seriously that was sensational. It was very enjoying and we had a french kiss between and she held my head with her hands, moving her fingers in my head.
She used to moan in such a way that it would trigger me more to thrust her deep and then she would dig her nails into my back.

I was still holding back my pressure to pump a little more. After pounding her for around 6-7 mins I guess, she was on the verge of her third orgasm and she locked her legs very firmly and she squeezed my penis so hardly that in the next few seconds I reached climax and shot my cum inside the condom, yes I thought like I had cummed very much, for a moment I thought the shooting power of my dick would have made a big hole in the condom, when we both were done and we rested for some time in the same position for some 3-4 mins and when everything settled down, she told me to part away as she felt my weight and we drifted apart and sat on the bed she too got up and took out the condom from my dick and threw it in the dustbin in the bathroom. She came back, kissed me now, this was a gentle and very sweet kind of a kiss.

She told me to freshen up and we both went to the bathroom to clean ourselves and there I just held her from behind and gave her breast massage and licked her neck in the shower. Finally, we were done and when we saw the time, it was 2:00 pm. We dressed up partially and she said “rocky this is one of my best sex experiences in my life, probably the best ever, since my husband just fucks me well, but the oral pressure and the romance was missing after the child, hope this happens with you even when you get married and when you couple have a child, but you really made my day today, thank you” and she at the same time ordered some food over the phone and asked what do you want to eat, I asked her what was she up to? She said she’s gonna go for the veg dish and even I said even I prefer the same.

Then we really had a wonderful lunch in each other’s embrace and after the food was done, I finally thought of ending it up there and wanted to leave but she insisted me to stay for a minute and handed over an envelope and I was surprised and when I saw it, it had few new five hundred s rupee notes I just denied it saying even I earn well and I don’t need this, but she was very adamant and she said the kind of pleasure that I have got from you today, I guess it is priceless and I think you deserve more, tell me if you need more but don’t refuse this. I was made to accept the money and after that incident in the next two three months, we really had a very wonderful time when she took leaves from office and so did I and both of us had enjoyed quite well.

But over the period of time, the contacts have grown and it’s good as my dick is having its food at different places with different tastes. The thing is I never demand anything and it is coming by itself. But the only thing is when a woman calls you to satisfy her, I go to her and do my job. It is stupid to think that many middle aged women has an hourglass figure, literally not.
Guys Indian women are not diet conscious and do not exercise after they become mothers, so it is up to you guys how you look at them. I love an Indian woman, especially aunties and middle aged woman, I’m just crazy about them.

Never till now had I expected a client to be as curvy, and perfectly shaped since I’m okay with my pleasure providing skills and I love seeing the pleasure of a woman by my skills nevertheless what shape and size she is. It’s my duty and I fulfill it.

But what I learned over these sexperiences (after providing client service to some class woman. women can find many smart, young, handsome and etc guys but friend it’s really worthy being trustful. Trust is the bridge upon which the relation survives. So in a year and a half I have been providing services to needy women as per their choice.

Btw, some things I wanted to share for you people were, with experience, even if she lets you kiss her in the middle of your indirect service, do not stop your service to get full-on sexual with her. That could turn her off. She may think that you’re desperate and sexually frustrated, which is not attractive to a woman. Kiss her breasts only for about 30 seconds but then get back to the massage (learned from experience, studied in some well-known articles). This self-control is attractive to women, it heightens her arousal, she desires you even more, and by the time your service is done, she can’t wait for you to get intimate. I have made this mistake in the past when a client gave me permission to kiss her breasts, I got carried away and kissed her breasts, neck, face, mouth…and finally had sex with her. She did not like it.

At the end of the session when I asked for feedback, she said “you said you’ll kiss my breasts for just a bit, I think you got carried away.” she felt cheated, she felt that she did not get her money’s worth of massage. Well, I don’t care for money. She did not hire me again. But often a client will absolutely insist that you stop the service and get physically intimate immediately. If she proactively asks you to do that, sure, go ahead, after all a client’s wish is your command.

And to all those who have read my story, please leave your valuable comments here or mail me at ravee007@gmail.Com. People who are in need of services can contact me, gays please stay out (sincere request) as I’m not of your kind. Privacy is guaranteed to the needy and I need not say it again as I have shared the stories based up on my partner’s consent. Hope even my aunties like it. Bye people. If possible I’ll share few more in the coming days/months/years. Thank you.

anonymous asked:

Hello ~ can you help me with the episodes of Vampire Idol? pls~~ i junst can't find them with eng sub :(

Heyah! 

Most Vampire Idol episodes ENG SUBBED can be found here @sockshare.net (shout out to @kpopcomplex for finding this!). However, I believe after episode 43(?) they’re no longer hard subbed.

Hard subbed videos for episodes 8-40 can also be found here on this facebook fan-sub page.

There are soft-subs available for the remaining episodes, 41-67, and can be found here. Soft-subs for 68-76 are found on the page’s timeline.  

(I know…it’s a pain and a little confusing going through so many different links)

For more info on how I watched with soft-subs, you can check out my post here. Of course if you have the software (e.g. aegisubs) to attach the subs to the raw video yourself, do that! (Just don’t share them publicly)

AAaand unfortunately, the final 3 episodes I have yet to find with ENG SUBS :( 

I hope this was of some help to you anon, happy watching!

buzzfeed.com
Most Americans Who See Fake News Believe It, New Survey Says
An exclusive Ipsos poll conducted for BuzzFeed News found that 75% of American adults who were familiar with a fake news headline viewed the story as accurate.
By Craig Silverman, Jeremy Singer-Vine

Fake news headlines fool American adults about 75% of the time, according to a large-scale new survey conducted by Ipsos Public Affairs for BuzzFeed News.

The survey also found that people who cite Facebook as a major source of news are more likely to view fake news headlines as accurate than those who rely less on the platform for news.

This survey is the first large-scale public opinion research study into the fake news phenomenon that has had a sweeping effect on global politics, and that recently caused a gunman to threaten a DC pizza place. The results paint a picture of news consumers with little ability to evaluate the headlines that often fly toward them without context on social media platforms. They also — surprisingly — suggest that consumers are likely to believe even false stories that don’t fit their ideological bias. And the survey calls into question the notion — which Facebook has reportedly begun testing — that consumers themselves can do the work of distinguishing between real and fake news.

The new data comes from an online survey of 3,015 US adults conducted between Nov. 28 and Dec. 1. For more on the methodology, see the bottom of this article. A detailed summary of results to all questions can be found here. Additional calculations can be found here.

This is a long article and includes a lot of important data.