Let’s talk about how ever since I changed my life and started this new health and fitness lifestyle my skin has improved so much. I still struggle to drink enough water but it’s just amazing how much what we eat impacts or skin. I never thought I would be the girl who could go out without putting on concealer or foundation or some sort of cover. I still have acne scars but I’m trying to embrace them and just see them as part of what makes me me. I need to also add for the first time in my life I have a consistent skin care regimen. In the past I had not been as consistent but I believe this constinecy combined with drinking more water and just eating good good food is what’s improved my skin. Sometimes ill have a meal and my skin will completely flare up so I know for sure food plays a huge part. I’m hoping to be able to take a food intolerance test to see what foods my body dislikes.
hey bean. first off, thank you. for being there for me when I was in need of it, always, no matter what. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. when I met you I didn’t know who you were. and not in the sense that we were just acquaintances but in the sense that you were something else, and I couldn’t quite figure it out. but I had to know. so let’s start on october 1st. this was our first of many post game food dates; the very beginning of “sydney and jail, built on tradition.” you drove me to chick fil a and learned about a huge part of my life, “hmm hmm”, and also that my favorite thing to get there was a chocolate milkshake. and from then on, after almost every football game it was cfa together. (except dennys with erika when I took literally, every single one of the jelly packets) and speaking of dennys, half and half is definitely not good, and neither is “soup water.” and that was the start of something great. We started seeing each other more and more, to the point where I could call you a close friend of mine, and to the point of you calling me during my 4th period to come eat with you at lunch. now, let’s fast forward to October 30th, the end of the month. on this day you randomly called asking if I was hungry, picked me up, after telling me to “buckle up, buttercup,” and took me to bahama bucks. that day we learned that yes, you can put more than one flavor in one snowcone, that you also collect the little umbrellas on your windshield, and that putting board games in restaurants are possibly one of the best ideas ever created. I’m still waiting for you to host that awkward dinner party, by the way. The next day, on halloween, Erika and I went over to carve pumpkins. JUST to carve pumpkins, at least, that’s what my mom specified will be the only thing we did that day. or else, she’d prob roll up to the window like “👀.” Next date, November 7th, my 15th birthday. you made it the absolute best birthday I’d ever had, thank you. even though your ex bitch was also hm hm’s ex bitch too, and she ended up going to bahama and panera with us lol. or maybe you two were still together? I’m not sure. you and guard girl’s relationship took me by surprise lol. anyways, my fifteenth was more than amazing, thank you. This next one I definitely cannot recall the date of. But, clara was there, and kirsten, and n bug too. this is the night I feel like I got the most close to you. there were tears and messes (sorry about the trash can) and lots of funny moments too, don’t get me wrong. and that night with you was my first night doing anything like that, so I’m glad I did it with you. I really opened up to you and it was hard but I’m glad I did. oh, and thank you for making me “EAT THE FUCKING HONEY” and for “syd, stick your tongue out” so you could brush my teeth. Or another night, and can I say, it was an iconic one. the night before that early morning saturday football game, which, we were late to, haha. I’ll never forget about the chéitos, or the fact that kirsten is, in fact, a cowboy. #exposed?!?!!?! in November you also cut your hair right before friendsgiving and made me go with you. It looked great by the way, you truly shook everyone. haha anyways, on to December. this is the month “what’s a car ride without sam smith,” and “brigade girl,” (cierra) started. On december 9th, I went to your house after school to get ready for the very eventful night we had planned. and yeah, I did get ready, because we both looked hella good that night. that night was the night n bug came with us and I met shauna for the first time. we stayed at times square for maybe 30 minutes before deciding to just go to whataburger and then back to your place. I had a good time that night. I did another first that night, and again, I’m very glad it was with you. the next morning you, shauna and I went to snappy’s for breakfast which was very nice, even thought I wasn’t feeling the best. maybe I did have a little too much fun and stay up a liiiitttlle too late the night before because that day at region auditions it really felt like my head was going to explode. but I still made it to region though, and you were very proud of me for doing so. During this month I wrote about you all the time. because by then you were such a huge part in my life. literally my journal was filled with your pictures and words and thoughts. and i’m glad I got you to buy a journal. the world needs more “I just want whataburger and sleep and eat and to wear clothes” moments in it.
honestly, the next few months are a blur to me. second semester rolls around and aloooottt of stuff goes down between you and I regarding our personal lives. and by the way, I’m sorry. for not always being there during that time. I know you went through sooooo much and I can’t imagine what that could have felt like. but we started to grow apart and both of us knew it. I guess we just didn’t want to say it. but we still saw each other in the hallways and talk for a bit and you’d still call me at 3 am from a gas station sometimes to tell me about another one of your wild adventures, and even that was good. just to talk to you. but even though we felt the distance, at the end of the day you and I both knew that we’d never stop being best friends.
to sum everything up, you’re one of the very few people that I’ve ever truly loved. you make high school and my life in general one trillion times better. all the movies I’ve watched with you and all the music you’ve shared with me, the dumb memes you’ve sent to cheer me up and all the times you’ve gone out of your way just to make sure I’m doing well, thank you. thank you for the constant hugs and showing me your cute Christmas socks and telling me about how much you love the rain. you’re the girl that they make movies about and write about in books and the girl that everyone thinks they know but really there’s so much left of you that no one has figured out yet. and I have had the honor of being in your life and knowing you on a different kind of personal level, and for that I give you all of my gratitude. I will never ever forget any of the memories we’ve made together and I can’t wait until we make more. I can’t wait until the post game dates and when we make our shirt with our pictures and quotes on it, because we have without a doubt lived up to the whole “built on traditions” quote. jail, I hope you never change. and I hope we’re “friendy friends” forever and ever. I can’t promise that our future endeavors will ever live up to the ones we’ve already created, but I can promise one thing. I’m never leaving. I love you.
How do you invision Katniss as a wife and a mother? I know, we all know that she was really pretty awful. But what'd you think??
I personally don’t see her as being awful. I think she’s innately protective and caring. What makes it hard for her was that she had such a hard life surrounded by hard circumstances that made her prickly and jaded. But if we look at Katniss’s characteristics I think she would be a great wife and mom.
The other part of her being a great mother and wife is Peeta. He complements her and I know that he would be a huge reason their marriage is a success. Just speaking from experience in my marriage, the differences between my husband and I are what make us a successful team. We balance each other out.
I also think because both experienced heartache in their home life and in their pasts, they would want to make it better for their children. They have the means and the ability to with the access to food, hunting, no Games and less oppressive circumstances, they can offer their kids a life they didn’t have, mixing the best of both their upbringings.
Does she have a hard time? Yes. She says she has to remember what she’s grateful for on the bad days, that Peeta says it’ll be okay. What I really appreciate about this is that they’ve both experienced so much heartache, with Katniss experiencing what she dreaded the most–losing someone she loves. Prim was the only person Katniss says she knew she loved and was also like a daughter to her as well since she had to raise her.
Katniss does withdraw. She does lose herself like her mother did, but Katniss holds on, waiting for something (Peeta). She goes through all that and she still chooses to live, to hope and to love. That is super powerful to me. I think all these experiences and their shared love would make Katniss a pretty powerful woman.
I feel so low tonight, I really look up to you and I am wondering how you do the things you do? How do you find the drive to get out of bed and go out into the world and just be you. I feel stuck like I know the goals I have in mind I know the things I want to accomplish but for some reason something is holding me back. Th energies have been so heavy around me. Thank you for being such a great example of what Humans can be. You are so wonderful.
Wow, beautiful One… Thank you so much for reaching out and choosing to be vulnerable. There is a great strength in that. I have a strong spiritual practice that works for me, but I feel that each person has something that will work for them. I can tell you a basic idea of what I do to stay inspired, enthusiastic, intensely grateful, present, and vitalized… and maybe some of them will work for you!
I wake up every morning and try my best to remember my dreams. I lie there with my eyes still closed, before I stretch or turn over, as my consciousness comes out of the dreamscape, and I don’t move until I remember. Bringing awareness to my dreams is one of the most profound tools I have found for connecting me to my subconscious and thus understanding who I am and where I am in my life path. I am intensely into symbolism and intuitive feeling of what my dreams mean.
After this, I either continue to lie down and stretch the sleep off, or I sit up or stand in my best posture, and the first words that come out of my mouth are affirmations. I hiiiiiiiiiighly recommend using affirmations at any time in the day!!! Though I have found them to be most powerful as the first spoken words in the morning, as I feel it sets the vibration for the rest of the day. Intention is SO POWERFUL. That is the key behind everything I do. Some affirmations you may want to consider using for your particular situation right now: “I allow myself to step into my highest potentiality. I am free. I am powerful. I create my reality. The more I celebrate how far I’ve come, the less distance I see there is to go. I am Divinity embodied, and I treat all beings with respect, including myself. I am raw Light in physical form and I am grateful to be alive. I allow inspiration to flow through my blood. I am an agent of Truth. I can do anything.” (just some examples)… think EMPOWERING!!! Even if you don’t believe the words you are saying, try to feel your Higher Self step into them. Then, what I do is name at least three things I am grateful for. “I am grateful for ______.”
Then, I really recommend the first thing you put in your body every day to be super cleansing or nutritious. I do warm lemon water and a smoothie. It can change your entire day and your entire life!!! Stretch if you feel like stretching. Take deeeeeeep breaths. Allow yourself to do what feels good. What is your comfort? Lying in the sun? Drinking tea with your favorite music? It really helps me to put my hands on my heart and breathe deeply. Feel a smile stretch across your face. Allow purity to burst forth in all your interactions—both with yourself (especially in your mind— thoughts are prayers!), and with all other beings, including your food, friends, strangers, plants, and ANIMALS!!!
Animal medicine is a huge part of my life. Whenever I am walking down the street and I see a lizard, I speak to him… I use as much of the native tongue here as I can since I’m studying it, but also just freeflow in English as well. Something like, “Good day, Lizard. Isn’t it beautiful to be alive? You remind me to be aware. Your presence here has brought me closer to knowing myself, and I thank you for that. Have a gorgeously inspired day. Thank you for your medicine.” Or if I’m just passing by birds chirping and flying and rustling in leaves, I’ll say “S-ke:g tas, u’uvik!” (Beautiful day, birds!) and take a deep breath, understanding that they are so aware of my presence… and that teaches me. Even if you just see a squirrel or a rabbit outside your window when you’re indoors, watch them… be patient… What are they doing? What is it like to be them? This can be a powerful meditation!!!
If you feel you are ready, or if you have already done this, create a sacred space. Build a small altar. It can have anything on it, from crystals to just a bowl of water and a twig, or a book that means a lot to you, or pictures of your family and friends… and every day, sit or stand in front of it, and talk to it. Tell your altar what you are going through and what you really want. Thank Spirit, all your guides, ancestors, guardians, angels, and your Higher Self for being such powerful forces of healing in your life and always being there for you. Even if you can’t feel them, they love to receive acknowledgment and they can make themselves better known in your life. Partnering with the spirit realm is so transformational. I also really enjoy evoking spirits, always using “of Highest Divine Light Order” to ensure that no negative energies enter the space. I invoke my Higher Self, my most Magickal Self, and oftentimes even say “I welcome you, Shadow. Thank you for your lessons.” Whatever you are comfortable with! Burning incense, palo santo, or sage is really helpful in creating sacred space and in cleansing your own energetic field… And I also often devoke the spirit helpers by thanking them and saying something like, “go if you must, stay if you will. Aho and blessed be.”
Pause to bless your food and give thanks for all the energy it took to bring that meal there to you. Thank all plants, animals, humans, and spirits that all contributed to the meal in some way. Thank Pachamama, the earth, the sky, the elements— everything named and unnamed that brought you and that food together. Speak to the food, if you want to. With every meal, I ask that everything my body needs from the food is absorbed completely, bringing me to my highest vitality and energy, and I ask that everything that my body does not need, which does not serve, simply passes through. Words are powerful.
At night, as I lie in bed, I reach out to the spirit world one more time. I ask for Remembrance. When using affirmations, leave it open— I started off by asking for remembrance of my dreams, but then simplified it, allowing for even more remembrance to come. You can do this with all affirmations, like instead of asking for an abundance of money, just ask for Abundance. Then, to really make me go to sleep, because I often get really excited and feel awake, I say “I will sleep, I will sleep, I will sleep.”
Another powerful practice is to sit in meditation and just IMAGINE… fully IMAGINE… what you look like and feel like when you think of yourself at your absolute highest potentiality. First see it, and imagine the qualities you would have at some abstract point in the future, being the absolute BEST you can be, and then choose to STEP INTO IT. In your meditation, FEEEEEEL what it would be like to be at that point you are imagining. FEEEEEL your body as healthy and vital as possible. Feel the power within you. Resonate with it, even if it’s only for a second or a minute. Embody it. Be it. You can even say “I choose to step into my Highest Self.” That’s a really good affirmation you can use 100 times a day if you want to. Haha!!! You can even imagine what that beautiful amazing empowered version of you does day to day, even in the small moments. How does it feel to just be that empowered person, sitting on a couch? Walking? Smiling? In social interactions? Behold it, embody it, and you will become it.
Ta-da! I know some of this may be far out for some of you, but take what resonates or seems to be helpful, and stick to it if you really want lasting results!!!
You have the power to do anything you want to do. I love you!!!!